Authors Note: Now beta-read by the fab Iona. Please let me know what you think of this, complaints, suggestions; any feedback would be helpful as long as it is constructive.
Written from the POV of Kate (formerly known as Jane) Heightmeyer about her relationship with Rodney McKay.Just a short piece with strong undercurrent of McWeir
Spoilers: Minor guest character spoilers for episode of 'The Gift' , though the worse is written above, so not really any spoilers.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Stargate in any incarnations of course and I'm not making any money, this is just some harmless fanfic fun.
Runes: Every word, every action has more than one meaning
He never said as much, never admitted it, but his words and actions betrayed him.
Kate
had never felt more foolish than when she realised it,
watching him lean over and whisper into Elizabeth's ear
conspiratorially, and seeing the two bounding off
together to explore his new discovery.
He shared everything with
the woman she began to realise. Nobody knew
Rodney McKay like Dr. Weir. It was probably best to know that, even
if it hurt to find out.
As a psychologist, she should have seen it
sooner, the evidence of it was what she dealt with daily.
She
had been the one to end it, thinking it cruel to all of them even if
she was the only one of three to solve the mystery.
It was like a
puzzle, an intricate riddle.
Everything was
separate, fragmented, pieces that made sense when you slotted them
together but alone had no meaning.
Making a whole, like the two,
Rodney and Elizabeth did together. But she had been the one to figure
it out first before either of them, who were
carrying on oblivious in a 'perfect friendship'.
His
words as symbols, words pointing to the meaning, the truth.
His
words, from his lips and his body, betrayed him.
Always
Elizabeth, even though he rarely used first names. Closeness, the
linguistic familiarity that you could hear.
Even though he'd told her his fears she saw, in retrospect, that those had all been the things he would never reveal to his superior, things he never wanted Elizabeth to know he was feeling. And any dreams he gave away were idle and meaningless compared to ones she sensed were secreted away from all, especially from his unsuspecting friend.
Sometimes it was the way he said the words though; his pleading tone, wanting Elizabeth to understand, desparate for approval, afraid of rejection.
Perhaps he had only been with her because she wanted him, because he did not want to reject such an obvious catch. It would have looked strange for an awkward scientist like him to turn down a beautiful woman without having a good reason. His reason was hidden under the pretence, even if he never saw that was what it was. Maybe he'd convinced himself their relationship was logical, it made sense and not going for it did not make sense. Unless he was willing to recognise his real desires, something only she could see it seemed.
She should never have started
anything with him and not because he was an egotistical jerk.
No,
she knew he was brave, selfless most of the time.
Deep down he was
caring.
In some ways, an emotionally wraught figure, ever feeling
guilty and worthless, bound by a duty.
It
was just that nearly all that tenderness went towards his 'best
friend' and it seemed only she could rescue him from himself. Kate
hoped it all worked out for them, but at least she was confident that
for now friendship would be good enough for them.
That the man she cared about would be ok,
safe in Elizabeth's arms no matter which direction the two of them
went in; friends or more.
The signs were so clear, you just had to be looking for them.