Hi :) This is a series of AU one-shots revolving around that inevitable first kiss. I hope you enjoy them!
[1. Beca's been friends with Jesse ever since she was eleven but now that they're leaving school and going to different colleges, she doesn't know how she's going to cope. She doesn't want to have to cope. But she'll manage. She always does.]
NUMBER ONE
Beca's known him ever since his family moved into the house next door to hers when she was eleven. His parents had knocked on their door to introduce themselves and he had confidently walked up to her, a huge grin on his face as he stuck a hand out towards her.
"I'm Jesse," he had said, "We're going to be best of friends."
She had raised her eyebrows at him, crossing her arms, giving him the most unimpressed look she could manage as she stepped backwards, away from his reach, not bothering to respond. He had just laughed at her reaction, completely unfazed, taking another step towards her as their parents chatted away about the weather of all things, before proceeding to ramble on about some movie he had seen.
Even at aged eleven though, Jesse had been unbelievably persistent; it hadn't taken long for him to realise that they were both going to be attending the same school and she had been horrified to find him standing outside her door on the first day of the school year, a grin on his face as he had asked her if she wanted to walk there together. She had contemplated – and then promptly tried – shutting the door in his face but he had quickly stuck his foot out, preventing her from doing so as he gave her an easy smile.
"Come on, Beca," he had said, "You might as well walk with me, it's better than being alone."
She had sighed but had eventually conceded to his request, walking stiffly beside him, ignoring his attempts to strike up a conversation with her. She had always preferred her own company; it was just easier that way. Still, Jesse hadn't given up, continuing to show up at her door every morning and it wasn't until a whole two weeks later, when he started enthusiastically discussing the soundtrack of a movie he had seen that she had turned to him, eyes wide.
"You're into music?" she had asked, the words falling out of her mouth before she could stop them, grimacing a little as he grinned triumphantly at her, nodding.
After that, it didn't take long before Jesse had managed to slowly ease his way through her walls and somehow, along the years, they had struck up an odd sort of friendship. He had been there through her parents' eventual messy divorce and in return, she had spent hours of her life watching movies that she really couldn't care less about with him. He had discovered her not-so-secret love for apple juice, proceeding to bring her some every single morning, and she had comforted him after his attempts to impress some girl in his class backfired.
The truth of the matter is, Jesse had been right all those years ago, he had become her friend, her only real friend…and now that they're leaving school and going to college, different colleges, she doesn't know how she's going to cope.
She doesn't want to have to cope.
It's selfish, she knows it is, but there's a big part of her that wishes that he could come with her.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but…I'm going to miss you, dork," Beca says, walking into his open arms, mumbling the words against his chest. She feels him tighten his grip ever so slightly, pulling her closer and she lets herself feel, remembering all the little things about him because she knows that, no matter what he says, it's going to be a while before she gets to be in his presence again.
"Hey, come on, it's not like you're never going to see me again, we'll Skype and text every day," he says firmly, reaching a hand out to gently tilt her chin upwards, his eyes finding hers, "You won't be able to get rid of me that easily, Beca. Besides, I'm irreplaceable; I'm sure you won't be able to find someone as charming and as handsome as me at college—"
She rolls her eyes, reaching up to whack him lightly on the chest with one hand, the other one still wrapped tightly around his waist. She's not going to let go, not until he does.
"You're an idiot," she says, "You're an actual idiot. Totally replaceable."
He just hums softly under his breath for a few moments, his chin resting lightly on the top of her head, before he sobers up a little, his voice sincere as he starts speaking again. "I'm going to miss you too," he says quietly, "But I'll definitely come and visit you soon, okay? I promise."
Her first day of college is…eventful, to say the least. Her roommate is a girl who's unlike anyone she's ever met. She introduces herself as 'Fat Amy' without even blinking and, instead of unpacking, promptly flops herself down on Beca's bed and starts giving her a lesson in how to wrestle crocodiles before telling her a long, twisted story about how she once saw a phascogale in a tree [and no, Beca doesn't even bother to ask what that is, split between being completely horrified at the fact that the girl is rolling around on her bed with her shoes on and the fact that she wishes Jesse was here because he would get a real kick out of the whole thing].
Still, there's something about her enthusiasm and cheeriness that reminds her of Jesse and she supposes she could have gotten a worse roommate. At least she's not a serial killer, she thinks…and then curses herself mentally because what the hell? Who even thinks that? She has clearly watched too many stupid movies with Jesse.
Amy manages to drag her to the activities fair later that day, still rambling on about numbats and doughnuts and god knows what else. They walk around together, just absorbing their surroundings [and oh my god, is that a Quidditch stand she can see in the corner?] before Amy starts tugging on her arm, leading her towards a stand, proudly labelled 'Barden Bellas'.
"Can you sing? Can you match pitch?" the redhead at the stand asks brightly, as soon as they approach, giving them a smile so wide that Beca feels a little uncomfortable and weirdly exposed. She begins to hastily shake her head but before she can pull Amy away, the Australian girl has started belting out a song, using her chest as a drum. She wants to laugh, she does, but Amy seems really into it [and so far, she's proved to be crazy but nice] so instead, she just bites her lip, swallowing hard. She watches, bemused, as Amy suddenly drops down on the floor, demonstrating something called mermaid dancing and oh wow, this is too much. She's not the only one that thinks that either; the blonde girl standing beside the redhead looks so surprised by the sight that she actually looks a bit nauseous...?
"Oh, I don't sing," she says, as the blonde girl – reluctantly – hands Amy a flyer and the redhead beside her turns to look at her expectantly and, out of the corner of her eyes, she sees the blonde girl eye her piercings warily and breathe a sigh of relief at her words. Okay then. Clearly someone takes a capella a little too seriously...
When they finally return back to their room, Amy having signed up for more than twenty different clubs and Beca signed up to zero, the first thing she does is log on to her computer, opening Skype. She smiles to herself as she sees that Jesse is online, quickly typing him a message but before she can press send, he's calling her, a window popping up.
"Hey, dork," she greets, as soon as he appears on her screen, "How's it going over there?"
He grins at her, beginning to fill her in on his roommate [who, to her utmost surprise, sounds even dorkier than Jesse himself] and how much he's loving the campus and the people and god, though she promised herself she wouldn't, she can't help but once again wish that he was here with her. After years of seeing him every single day, it's just…weird to be apart, that's all.
But she'll manage. She always does.
"You alright?" he asks, moments later, picking up on her unusual quietness and she can see the concern in his eyes, even through her dodgy webcam. She nods slowly, giving him a small smile, as she starts telling him about Amy and about the crazy a capella girls that she had met earlier, rolling her eyes as Jesse's eyes light up in amusement and he tries to convince her to give them a chance:
"Aw, come on, join the Bellas," he says, leaning closer towards the camera, "You're a great singer! Look, if you join, I'll totally join the a capella group here and challenge you for the title of, uh…best a capella group?"
She doesn't know why but she ends up doing exactly what Jesse told her to do and joins the Bellas. It's weird, at first, being around so many girls [especially the blonde one who, for some reason, definitely doesn't like her] but after a while, thanks to Amy's continued efforts to involve her in absolutely everything and the redhead, Chloe, who doesn't seem to understand the concept of personal space, it gets a little easier.
Jesse keeps his word too, proudly showing off his maroon Treblemakers hoodie to her through his webcam the next time she speaks to him, before bursting into some made-up song about how he's going to out sing her.
"Dude, stop," she says, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing as she watches him get completely carried away, moving his hands in time to the music, "Stop or I swear, I'm going to shut my computer down."
He simply grins at her, shaking his head as he continues, both of them knowing that her threats are empty; she misses him, she does, and she's not about to cut him off, not until she has to.
They're about a month into their first terms at college when Jesse starts name-dropping a certain girl in his music class every single time they speak and it quickly becomes obvious how smitten he is [Jesse is anything but subtle…] and she's not jealous, she's not. Her and Jesse, they've had an unspoken pact to never go there, ever since they were fifteen and Jesse had tried to make a move and it had almost ruined their friendship.
She's just a little…put out by it, that's all, especially when, a week later, he triumphantly tells her about how he successfully asked her out on a date and he stops calling her on a daily basis and she feels more alone than she has in a long while. She tries to forget about it, throwing herself into Bellas rehearsals with a renewed vigour, her sudden passion for cardio 'scaring the peanut butter' out of Amy [her words, not Beca's].
Beca refuses to tell him what's wrong when he asks the next time she manages to get a hold of him because she feels like she's overreacting about the whole thing and he gives her a worried look before beginning to finalise the plans for her visit next month, not pushing her any further.
When next month finally arrives and she gets off the train at the station nearest to his campus, he's there waiting for her, a huge grin spreading on his face as he spots her and she can't help but smile back, her previous worries momentarily forgotten.
"What's up, weirdo?" she says as she punches him lightly on the arm in greeting, falling into step beside him as they walk back to his campus. They quickly return to their usual ways, teasing each other and it's weird but it's almost like they're back home again and they haven't been separated for over two months.
…But, of course, as soon as they reach his dorm room, reality kicks in and she frowns slightly at the girl inside who automatically drapes herself over Jesse in a possessive fashion, shooting Beca a glare behind his back.
"I'm Melissa," she says, introducing herself, "I'm Jesse's girlfriend."
Beca swallows, eyebrows raised at the sight. "Uh, yes, I know." she replies through gritted teeth, hating herself a little for instantly disliking the girl, especially when Jesse looks so happy and blissfully unaware of the tension in the room.
They go out to dinner that night, all three of them, Jesse trying his best to awkwardly involve them both into the conversation but his attempts fall flat. Melissa completely refuses to talk to her, except to ambush her when she's on her way to the bathroom, threatening to kill her if she touches Jesse. She doesn't quite know what to make of that or what to do so she just does what she does best and smirks, riling the other girl up even further.
It's not until they're finally alone, Melissa having reluctantly returned to her own dorm room, when Jesse taps her on the shoulder with a sigh, his eyes searching hers. "Beca, what's wrong?" he asks, his voice filled with concern, "You're acting different."
She doesn't reply at first, pointedly moving away from him to pull out her pyjamas from her bag but she can feel his eyes burning a hole into her back and eventually she sighs, waving an arm at him in a dismissive fashion.
"Nothing's wrong," she tells him, forcing a smile onto her face, even though she knows he doesn't believe her, because what else can she say? He looked so happy earlier and she's not about to tell him that she can't stand his new girlfriend. She's not that cruel.
"Beca, I like her," he says later, as always, able to read her like a book, "I really do."
She gives him a half-smile, nodding once as she moves to sit beside him, resting her head against his shoulder. She misses the days when it was just them. She misses the days when she was the only one who could make him laugh so hard that he started complaining about it physically hurting him. She misses the days when he was there for her at all times of the day, no questions asked.
She just misses him.
She's surprised when she gets a text on her phone three weeks later and sees Jesse's name flashing on the screen. She hasn't heard from him for a while, having given up on trying to contact him because nowadays, he's always out with Benji or Melissa and she sort of feels a bit like a third wheel. She guesses it's inevitable though – who were they kidding? They were never going to stay as close as they had been back at home – and she supposes it's for the best: she still can't stand Melissa and besides, Bellas rehearsals are literally all the time and she's been busy.
Still, when she sees Jesse's text, a simple 'Call me', she can't help but instantly stop what she's doing, quickly pressing one on her speed dial.
"Jesse, are you okay?" she asks, as soon as he picks up, and she feels her heart clench at the miserable tone in his voice as he responds, telling her all about how Melissa cheated on him.
She knew there was a reason why she couldn't stand that girl.
"Come here," she tells him, feeling a little helpless as she listens to him talk, unable to do anything to fix the situation and make him feel better when he's so far away, "Come and see me."
In true Jesse fashion, very soon after he arrives that weekend, flopping himself on her bed miserably, he drags her out to some frat party that Amy had unsubtly mentioned and gets completely wasted. He had never been good at handling heartbreak - he had always been the one who had given too much and fallen too fast - and over the years, she had built up plenty of experience in dealing with Jesse in this state.
"Jess, come on," she says, as she watches him stumble, placing her hand on his arm to steady him, "I think it's time for you to go to sleep."
He just turns to her, giving her a stupidly wide grin and nods, slowly walking towards her, muttering nonsensical things under his breath. She sighs a little but leads him outside, putting a firm hand on his back.
"You'll be okay," she tells him, even though she knows he's not listening, not really, "I promise."
It's not until later, when she's lying beside him on her bed that he appears to sober up a little, turning to face her, his eyes solemn.
"You're the best," he states simply, before proceeding to wave his arms around wildly, "You're my favourite person in the whole, wide world."
Beca smiles at that, smiles at him, closing her eyes and shifting a little closer to him, despite the strong smell of alcohol that surrounds him, as she speaks again. "Get some sleep, dork."
She feels him nod multiple times against her head before falling silent, and she's just about to drift off when she swears she hears him say the three words that, at fifteen, she had made him promise to never say to her again for the sake of their friendship. She tries to shake it off as just Jesse being drunk and all worked up from the Melissa aftermath but she can't help but think about how sincere he had sounded and how those words didn't scare her as much as they should.
Jesse's her best friend and he always will be but…maybe that's not enough anymore.
Beca's surprised to find that she's more than a little disappointed when he wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache and absolutely no recollection of the previous night. If she's honest, she doesn't know what she had expected but it certainly wasn't this. She can tell that he knows something is wrong from the way that he squints at her, a frown on his face but she doesn't give anything away, forcing a smile as she hands him a cup of water and an aspirin.
"You're my saviour," he says, accepting them gratefully, proceeding to bow down at her…before abruptly straightening up with a grimace, the movement causing his head to hurt even more. She just rolls her eyes lightly, watching as he swallows, her eyes fixated on his strong jaw and earnest eyes.
She's not blind. She's known for a long time now that Jesse is certainly not unattractive but she's never really paid that much attention to him, always forcing herself to think of him as her friend. Now that she's actually taking a proper look though, her mind still working in overdrive from the memory of the way he had mumbled those three loaded words into her hair last night, she lets herself appreciate the sight. Just for a second.
"Okay, do I have something on my face?" he asks slowly, reaching up to rub at his chin self-consciously, "You're staring. I mean, I know I'm oh, so, handsome but—"
"—Dude, stop," she cuts him off, her hand automatically raising up to whack him on the side of his head before stopping as soon as she gets within a millimetre's distance of his face, remembering his currently hungover state. "Just stop," she repeats, retrieving her hand as instead, she leans against his shoulder and feels his arm wrap around her, pulling her towards him.
She stays there, sitting beside him, listening as he slowly sobers up completely and starts to talk through what had happened with Melissa and she tries to cheer him up to the best of her ability. He leaves the next morning, looking much happier than he had done yesterday, and she can't help but press her lips to his cheek momentarily as he pulls her in for a farewell hug, laughing a little at the surprised look on his face. She doesn't think she's ever done that in all their years of being friends.
"Call me tonight?" she asks, as he's still staring at her, looking endearingly confused but eventually he smiles at her, pulling her closer, pressing his lips against her forehead once before nodding at her and turning to go.
She's glad to find that after his visit, they go back to their usual ways and they both make an effort to put aside some time to talk to the other every day. He tells her about Benji's latest magic trick and his anal Treblemakers leader, some guy named Bumper, and in return, she tells him about Amy's crazy antics and her own anal Bellas leader, Aubrey.
Going back to their normal routine, it makes her realise just how much she had missed this when he had been with Melissa [or, She Who Must Not Be Named, as Jesse now refers to her]. It also doesn't help that ever since that night when he had been drunk on her bed, uttering words that he really shouldn't have been uttering, she's finding him more and more appealing in ways that are completely inappropriate.
Beca guesses she shouldn't be that surprised by this development; after all, Jesse knows her better than anyone else and he gets her [even when he's being ridiculous like he is right now and reciting movie facts at her at lightning speed without pausing to take a breath]...but still, the feeling's weird and unfamiliar and she's not quite sure what to do, especially because she knows that Jesse would never have said those words to her if he had been sober.
They find out that they're going to be competing at Regionals together in three months time and she throws herself into rehearsals, practically forcing her new mix onto Aubrey, not accepting 'no' for an answer; Jesse has been constantly dropping hints about how amazing their set is and she's not going to go down without a fight.
The big day comes sooner than she expects and she wakes up that morning, jumping in alarm as she opens her eyes to see Amy leaning over her, dangling a slice of pizza in front of her face.
"Dude! What the hell are you doing?" she exclaims, pushing her head back further into the pillow, warily eyeing the bits of cheese that look like they could fall off onto her face any second now.
Amy just shrugs her shoulders, retrieving the pizza and stuffing it in her mouth in one go as she explains and Beca closes her eyes with a grimace as she gets a very good view of a half-digested tomato mush, "I was just…experimenting."
"Experimenting?" she echoes, sitting up and dragging herself over to the wardrobe, pulling out the 'uniform' that one of the other Bella girls, Stacie, had designed. They aren't exactly the type of clothes that she would normally wear – the whole outfit is a little short and a little too girly – but Stacie had insisted and she had learnt from previous experience that it was better not to argue with the brunette.
"Yep," Amy replies, still chewing, "Just thought I'd see whether this would work better than a regular alarm clock." She raises an eyebrow in response but doesn't say anything more. Sharing a room with Amy has been…interesting, to say the least, and this is one of the more sane things she has done.
All the Bellas make their way to the competition venue safely and without much difficulty and she grins as she hears a familiar voice call her name as soon as she steps foot into the building.
"Ready for me to take you down?" Jesse asks, as he promptly pulls her into a hug and she rolls her eyes, shaking her head at him, not even bothering to answer because hey, she's going to win, okay? She's sure of it. He just grins before winking at her as he adds, "I have to admit though, I don't know if I can take you down any further, you're already so short…"
"—You're not funny," she interrupts, hitting him on the arm but she can't help but smile despite herself, burrowing her head further into his chest. She will never get tired of this, tired of him. Being away from him for so long has just solidified the fact that he means more to her than just a friend.
"I'm hilarious," he replies, chuckling to himself as he flings an arm around her waist and pulls her towards the auditorium and she rolls her eyes, shifting herself ever so slightly closer to him, revelling in the comfort that being so close to him brings.
As she watches him perform, confidently moving across the stage as he serenades all the girls and boys in the front row, she knows that she needs to do something to make him truly understand what he means to her before he leaves her once again…and later, after all has been said and done [and, of course, the Bellas have won], she drags him away from his group and they sit on the grass outside, leaning against one of the trees, idly chatting to one another.
"Well done," he says sincerely, minutes later, "You were amazing today, Beca."
She smiles at him, moving her head up from his shoulder so that she can see him properly as she replies, "So were you. I mean, obviously you weren't as good as me but—"
"—Oh, shut up," he cuts in, with an easy smile, nudging her shoulder lightly and as they fall silent again, she knows this is it, she has to do something.
"Jesse?" she asks, swallowing once as he turns towards her, a curious expression on his face as he waits for her to expand.
She swallows again before slowly reaching up to pull his head down to her level but once she's done it, she freezes. He's staring at her like he can't quite believe what's happening and…to be honest, she can't too. She's accepted that her feelings for him are definitely more than they should be but yet, she doesn't know if she can do this, she doesn't know if she can break that rule they had set all those years ago at fifteen, she doesn't know if she can risk their friendship for…whatever this is. She closes her eyes, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his, as she breathes out, a million thoughts running through her mind as she desperately tries to work out what to do.
A few seconds pass before she hears him softly whisper her name and she slowly cracks her eyes open, expecting the worse. Instead, she sees a grinning Jesse, looking happier than she's ever seen him [even when he was with her] and her breath catches as she watches him lean forward ever so slowly, his eyes glinting, and presses his lips firmly against hers.
"I knew you'd fall for my charms eventually," he states, moments later and she can feel him smiling, his lips brushing the side of her cheek and she jolts backwards, away from him, promptly reaching up and punching him on the arm.
"Jesus, you just had to ruin the moment, didn't you?" she says but she's laughing and it makes him laugh too, and she wonders what she had been so afraid of. This was Jesse, he was harmless and dorky and ridiculous…but he was hers.