While DanielJackson is still never far from my thoughts, it is perhaps on days like these when I miss his presence the most. O'Neill is currently experiencing one of "those days," as DanielJackson would say.
O'Neill and I share a bond based on the fact that we are both warriors. DanielJackson and I shared the bond of being students of human and alien behavior. Our approaches were very different: DanielJackson preferred to learn by immersion and interaction. I prefer to quietly observe with little interference. Yet we were always able to reach similar conclusions.
It is only natural, given the amount of time SG1 has always spent together, that two of our most intense subjects of observation were our teammates: O'Neill and Major Carter. They are both most fascinating humans. Very different in many respects, and yet very similar in many others. Fascinating as individuals, fascinating as coworkers, fascinating as a CO and a 2IC, and fascinating as a man and woman. It is in this last category that I find myself studying O'Neill today. It is with deepest regret that I must now do this alone.
DanielJackson is missing one of "those days," and at the moment I envy him that opportunity, because on "those days," O'Neill becomes a most difficult person to be around. One cannot say anything to pacify him. 98% of the time, O'Neill is able to keep his feelings for Major Carter in close check. None but DanielJackson and myself would ever be able to tell that their relationship is anything other than one within the acceptable parameters of Colonel and Major.
Of course, even on "those days," their relationship stays within those parameters. Both of them value our team, our jobs, and their careers and reputations far too much to break this "fraternization regulation" DanielJackson explained to me so many years ago when I was new to this planet. However, I believe that emotionally, this rule was broken many years ago, and on occasion, O'Neill has great difficulty getting through his daily activities.
He becomes extremely terse. If he is in Major Carter's vicinity he is constantly looking at her with a mixture of frustration, anger, and affection. If he is not in her vicinity he is trying to think of legitimate reasons to become in her vicinity. If an attempt is made to engage him in conversation on the subject disturbing him, he becomes very defensive and quickly finds a reason to leave.
Perhaps most disturbing of all is the jealous way he behaves on such days towards any other man who so much as looks at Major Carter. While he has never directed one of his glares, scowls, or orders at me, DanielJackson, especially during our first two years as a team, was often on the receiving end of his anger and frustration. Today, however, our new team member, Jonas Quinn, has been the subject of O'Neill's anger, and he has spent the past twenty minutes complaining to me about him. I have been unsuccessfully trying to perform Kel-no-reem with my eyes open.
"They've been holed up in her lab for TWO DAYS! What could she possibly be teaching him that's so important they can't even be bothered to take a break every now and then? He's probably loving this..." O'Neill is in one of the grouchiest moods I have ever observed in him.
"Indeed, O'Neill, I am sure he is," I tell him evenly. "JonasQuinn has displayed a great affinity for learning as much as possible about as many different things as possible. He is a most enthusiastic addition to our team. You made a wise decision in appointing him."
"Yeah, right," he replies with a snort, but he sits down heavily in his chair, crosses his arms, and finally stops speaking. I will interpret that as a positive sign that he is gaining slight control back.
"O'Neill, you outrank both Major Carter and Jonas Quinn. If you are so inclined, why do you not simply insist that they take a break?"
"Good idea, Teal'c! I can just order them to stop and we can go have lunch."
Knowing he meant himself and Major Carter when he said "we," I still must insist he not exclude JonasQuinn, who would not understand O'Neill's reason for inviting Major Carter to dine without asking him as well. JonasQuinn would be most upset. Therefore, I smile slightly at him and say, "A wise decision, O'Neill. I myself am hungry, and I am sure JonasQuinn and Major Carter would both enjoy a break and sustenance."
He is disappointed by this but he recovers quickly, nods at me, and heads out of his office. I follow him, realizing that this is another new thing JonasQuinn will be able to add to his list of new experiences: encountering Colonel O'Neill on one of "those days."
O'Neill strides quickly into Major Carter's lab. She sits at her computer. The screen displays binary code. A quick glance tells me it is a technical readout of basic base security. JonasQuinn watches from a display screen, seated at her main table. He turns to us both as we enter with his customarily large grin.
"Hi, Colonel. Teal'c."
"Good afternoon Jonas Quinn," I greet him with a nod.
O'Neill ignores him, but Jonas does not seem to mind. O'Neill walks quickly over to Major Carter, leans over her, and switches off her computer monitor. Before she can object to this he says, "Team lunch, Carter. Come on."
She gets up from her seat reluctantly and makes eye contact with me in a look that clearly says, "What's wrong with him now?"
Feigning ignorance to anything out of the ordinary, I return her look calmly and step away from the doorway, gesturing for Jonas Quinn to exit the room first.
"Great, I'm starving!" he says happily as we head to the commissary.
Major Carter has many different reactions to O'Neill's behavior on one of "those days," depending on her own mood at the time and how much work she has to complete. On numerous occasions, she is completely oblivious to his unusual behavior, especially if we are on a mission at the time or she is working on a particularly fascinating or important project. Occasionally, I believe she takes notice of his behavior but chooses to pretend that she does not. This seems most wise. Sometimes, however, she finds him highly irritating, and responds as clearly as she can without behaving in a manner that could be considered insubordination. Sometimes, she seems secretly amused and even flattered. As I stated previously, they are both very interesting humans to observe.
Today she is either actually oblivious or is pretending to be; I have not decided which one to be the truth as we take our seats in a booth at the commissary after acquiring our trays of food. O'Neill sits beside me as usual. I suspect he does this because it puts him across from Major Carter, which gives him a much more plausible reason to continuously look at her, an action which would be harder to explain were they seated side-by-side.
However, he seems to have regretted this course of action today, as he looks very surly at the sight of Major Carter and Jonas Quinn seated together in the booth across from us. As we begin to eat, Major Carter is doing such a consciences job of not meeting O'Neill's eyes that I am now certain she is merely pretending not to notice his unpleasant mood.
"This is so good!" Jonas Quinn says happily around a large mouthful of banana pudding with Vanilla wafers in it. "What is it?"
"It is banana pudding, Jonas Quinn," I supply. "Generally it is consumed at the end of one's meal."
"Oh, woops!" he says with a laugh, setting his spoon down.
Major Carter laughs slightly. "Doesn't matter, Jonas. It's not like it's a base rule or anything."
Jonas Quinn cannot help but be confused by this, as a glance at Colonel O'Neill naturally leads him to assume he has committed a terrible offense. O'Neill pokes the meat dish on his plate as if it has not been properly killed and he must finish the task before its consumption. He says nothing.
After several moments of silence, Jonas Quinn speaks again. "The food here is so great! Much better than... where I'm from." O'Neill snorts.
Major Carter narrows her eyes at him for a moment before turning to Jonas Quinn with a smile. "If you think this is good you're going to be amazed when General Hammond lets you off the base... a lot of the food here is MUCH better than this."
"Really?" he asks in surprise.
"Oh yeah. We'll take you to all kinds of great places to eat," she says with a smile, which he of course returns.
I observe her as we continue eating in silence. Perhaps my earlier assessment was wrong, and she is unaware that she is infuriating O'Neill further. Either that, or she is enjoying it. That would be most unlike Major Carter, however. Well, most of the time. Every once in a while she does seem to take pleasure in frustrating O'Neill.
"Colonel, is there something wrong with your lunch? We could trade, mine's delicious!" Jonas Quinn offers, noticing that O'Neill has not eaten much and yet is continuing to glare at his lunch and poke it with unnecessary force.
O'Neill does not respond or even look up, though he does jump slightly a moment later. A glance at Major Carter confirms my suspicion that she has kicked him in the shin underneath the table. She does this occasionally, usually when he is caught not paying attention during a briefing.
"Huh? Oh. No, Jonas, that... won't be necessary. Enjoy your... lunch there." Jonas Quinn gives yet another grin and continues to eat.
I believe the thing that frustrates O'Neill more than anything about Jonas Quinn is that he is so open. O'Neill is forced to keep many things a secret, including many emotions most humans have the luxury of sharing with the world. So it is understandable that it is frustrating for him to watch Jonas Quinn being so openly happy about things, including Major Carter's company. If O'Neill behaved as he does, he and Major Carter would both be "court-martialed," as DanielJackson explained it to me once long ago.
I shall try to lighten O'Neill's current mood. "Major Carter, will you be further instructing Jonas Quinn for the remainder of the day?" I ask politely.
"Well, I have to get to work on the device SG12 brought back this morning, but you're welcome to watch and help, Jonas..."
"I inquire because I find myself with a substantial amount of free time this afternoon. Jonas Quinn has asked me to instruct him in hand-to-hand combat. I now have sufficient time for this instructing."
"Oh, no problem. Just be careful with him, Teal'c," she says with a smile.
"I will not damage our newest team member," I agree. "Jonas Quinn, are you interested in learning this today?" I ask him.
He glances at Major Carter and I am sad to realize he would much rather spend the day with her. O'Neill notices this as well. This situation may yet require me to intervene in a more overt way, as DanielJackson would undoubtedly do were he still with us. Jonas Quinn looks back at me again and I give him a stern look. He nods, then smiles again.
"Of course. Thanks, Teal'c."
This will not only give me an opportunity to speak to Jonas Quinn, but will give O'Neill time to either pester Major Carter on his own or go to his quarters and sulk. Were I a betting man, I would place a wager on the first scenario. True to my prediction, as soon as she finishes her lunch, he says, "Carter, I need your help in my office. My computer still hates me."
He gives her one of his facial expressions that seem to amuse her and she smiles and says, "Of course, Colonel."
Hmm... perhaps she WAS genuinely oblivious to his behavior earlier. Major Carter's thought processes are much more difficult to interpret than O'Neill's. DanielJackson said this is a general rule of women and men on this planet, although I suspect Major Carter is much more inscrutable than the average Tau'ri woman.
They get up to leave, and Jonas Quinn does the same, but I would prefer to speak to him here first. Perhaps a joke would be appropriate to ease the tension of the group. O'Neill and Major Carter both find it especially enjoyable when I "crack a joke."
"Jonas Quinn, if you would remain here for a few moments, we could continue with our alien conspiracy," I say evenly. He looks so concerned, as if terrified we will be taken seriously and executed on the spot by O'Neill and Major Carter, that I allow myself a small smile to show him I was only joking.
My intentions were successful. Major Carter is giggling quietly and O'Neill laughs loudly, claps me on the back, and says loudly, "Good one, T!" They both leave in much better moods. Maybe DanielJackson's approach was not altogether bad.
"What did you want to talk about, Teal'c?" Jonas Quinn asks me.
"I must speak with you about the future of SG1. You are part of our family now, Jonas Quinn, but you must choose what part you will play. I am afraid if you choose wrong, you will cause problems within the family rather than becoming a helpful member."
"I'm not following..."
"Major Carter. You would do well to think of her as a close female relative and nothing more. A sister, daughter, aunt, mother, cousin, or some such relation."
"Teal'c..."
"I say this for the benefit of the team, but also to save you from unnecessary embarrassment and trouble. Relationships between coworkers are strictly forbidden among the Tau'ri. While you are not a ranking officer in the Air Force, you are still a member of SG1." He wants to argue with this so I continue without giving him the chance. "In addition to this, Major Carter will never reciprocate any affection you might have for her other than friendship."
"And just how can you be so sure? She's been so nice to me..."
"Because that is her nature. I do not blame you for being attracted to her. I am merely warning you. Change your course of thinking while it is early."
"So, let me get this straight... this is who exactly, warning me away from her? Her brother, father, what?"
"You would like me to identify my relationship with Major Carter?"
"Yes."
"Very well. I suppose I consider her to be the wife of my brother."
"The wife of your brother? What does that..." he thinks for a moment and then says, "OH! You mean Colonel..."
"If you are to remain on SG1, you must realize there are certain rules to which we all adhere. One of them is that after this conversation is over, you speak of it only to me if you absolutely must. Under no circumstances mention any of this to anyone else you meet here. If ever questioned on the topic, remain as vague or silent as possible. If you do not wish to complicate already complicated matters, do not mention this to Colonel O'Neill or Major Carter either. Do not look so worried. Most of the time this situation does not require addressing."
"So that's why the Colonel's been so unhappy all day?"
"Indeed. This, you will learn, is what we call one of 'those days.'"
O'Neill and I share a bond based on the fact that we are both warriors. DanielJackson and I shared the bond of being students of human and alien behavior. Our approaches were very different: DanielJackson preferred to learn by immersion and interaction. I prefer to quietly observe with little interference. Yet we were always able to reach similar conclusions.
It is only natural, given the amount of time SG1 has always spent together, that two of our most intense subjects of observation were our teammates: O'Neill and Major Carter. They are both most fascinating humans. Very different in many respects, and yet very similar in many others. Fascinating as individuals, fascinating as coworkers, fascinating as a CO and a 2IC, and fascinating as a man and woman. It is in this last category that I find myself studying O'Neill today. It is with deepest regret that I must now do this alone.
DanielJackson is missing one of "those days," and at the moment I envy him that opportunity, because on "those days," O'Neill becomes a most difficult person to be around. One cannot say anything to pacify him. 98% of the time, O'Neill is able to keep his feelings for Major Carter in close check. None but DanielJackson and myself would ever be able to tell that their relationship is anything other than one within the acceptable parameters of Colonel and Major.
Of course, even on "those days," their relationship stays within those parameters. Both of them value our team, our jobs, and their careers and reputations far too much to break this "fraternization regulation" DanielJackson explained to me so many years ago when I was new to this planet. However, I believe that emotionally, this rule was broken many years ago, and on occasion, O'Neill has great difficulty getting through his daily activities.
He becomes extremely terse. If he is in Major Carter's vicinity he is constantly looking at her with a mixture of frustration, anger, and affection. If he is not in her vicinity he is trying to think of legitimate reasons to become in her vicinity. If an attempt is made to engage him in conversation on the subject disturbing him, he becomes very defensive and quickly finds a reason to leave.
Perhaps most disturbing of all is the jealous way he behaves on such days towards any other man who so much as looks at Major Carter. While he has never directed one of his glares, scowls, or orders at me, DanielJackson, especially during our first two years as a team, was often on the receiving end of his anger and frustration. Today, however, our new team member, Jonas Quinn, has been the subject of O'Neill's anger, and he has spent the past twenty minutes complaining to me about him. I have been unsuccessfully trying to perform Kel-no-reem with my eyes open.
"They've been holed up in her lab for TWO DAYS! What could she possibly be teaching him that's so important they can't even be bothered to take a break every now and then? He's probably loving this..." O'Neill is in one of the grouchiest moods I have ever observed in him.
"Indeed, O'Neill, I am sure he is," I tell him evenly. "JonasQuinn has displayed a great affinity for learning as much as possible about as many different things as possible. He is a most enthusiastic addition to our team. You made a wise decision in appointing him."
"Yeah, right," he replies with a snort, but he sits down heavily in his chair, crosses his arms, and finally stops speaking. I will interpret that as a positive sign that he is gaining slight control back.
"O'Neill, you outrank both Major Carter and Jonas Quinn. If you are so inclined, why do you not simply insist that they take a break?"
"Good idea, Teal'c! I can just order them to stop and we can go have lunch."
Knowing he meant himself and Major Carter when he said "we," I still must insist he not exclude JonasQuinn, who would not understand O'Neill's reason for inviting Major Carter to dine without asking him as well. JonasQuinn would be most upset. Therefore, I smile slightly at him and say, "A wise decision, O'Neill. I myself am hungry, and I am sure JonasQuinn and Major Carter would both enjoy a break and sustenance."
He is disappointed by this but he recovers quickly, nods at me, and heads out of his office. I follow him, realizing that this is another new thing JonasQuinn will be able to add to his list of new experiences: encountering Colonel O'Neill on one of "those days."
O'Neill strides quickly into Major Carter's lab. She sits at her computer. The screen displays binary code. A quick glance tells me it is a technical readout of basic base security. JonasQuinn watches from a display screen, seated at her main table. He turns to us both as we enter with his customarily large grin.
"Hi, Colonel. Teal'c."
"Good afternoon Jonas Quinn," I greet him with a nod.
O'Neill ignores him, but Jonas does not seem to mind. O'Neill walks quickly over to Major Carter, leans over her, and switches off her computer monitor. Before she can object to this he says, "Team lunch, Carter. Come on."
She gets up from her seat reluctantly and makes eye contact with me in a look that clearly says, "What's wrong with him now?"
Feigning ignorance to anything out of the ordinary, I return her look calmly and step away from the doorway, gesturing for Jonas Quinn to exit the room first.
"Great, I'm starving!" he says happily as we head to the commissary.
Major Carter has many different reactions to O'Neill's behavior on one of "those days," depending on her own mood at the time and how much work she has to complete. On numerous occasions, she is completely oblivious to his unusual behavior, especially if we are on a mission at the time or she is working on a particularly fascinating or important project. Occasionally, I believe she takes notice of his behavior but chooses to pretend that she does not. This seems most wise. Sometimes, however, she finds him highly irritating, and responds as clearly as she can without behaving in a manner that could be considered insubordination. Sometimes, she seems secretly amused and even flattered. As I stated previously, they are both very interesting humans to observe.
Today she is either actually oblivious or is pretending to be; I have not decided which one to be the truth as we take our seats in a booth at the commissary after acquiring our trays of food. O'Neill sits beside me as usual. I suspect he does this because it puts him across from Major Carter, which gives him a much more plausible reason to continuously look at her, an action which would be harder to explain were they seated side-by-side.
However, he seems to have regretted this course of action today, as he looks very surly at the sight of Major Carter and Jonas Quinn seated together in the booth across from us. As we begin to eat, Major Carter is doing such a consciences job of not meeting O'Neill's eyes that I am now certain she is merely pretending not to notice his unpleasant mood.
"This is so good!" Jonas Quinn says happily around a large mouthful of banana pudding with Vanilla wafers in it. "What is it?"
"It is banana pudding, Jonas Quinn," I supply. "Generally it is consumed at the end of one's meal."
"Oh, woops!" he says with a laugh, setting his spoon down.
Major Carter laughs slightly. "Doesn't matter, Jonas. It's not like it's a base rule or anything."
Jonas Quinn cannot help but be confused by this, as a glance at Colonel O'Neill naturally leads him to assume he has committed a terrible offense. O'Neill pokes the meat dish on his plate as if it has not been properly killed and he must finish the task before its consumption. He says nothing.
After several moments of silence, Jonas Quinn speaks again. "The food here is so great! Much better than... where I'm from." O'Neill snorts.
Major Carter narrows her eyes at him for a moment before turning to Jonas Quinn with a smile. "If you think this is good you're going to be amazed when General Hammond lets you off the base... a lot of the food here is MUCH better than this."
"Really?" he asks in surprise.
"Oh yeah. We'll take you to all kinds of great places to eat," she says with a smile, which he of course returns.
I observe her as we continue eating in silence. Perhaps my earlier assessment was wrong, and she is unaware that she is infuriating O'Neill further. Either that, or she is enjoying it. That would be most unlike Major Carter, however. Well, most of the time. Every once in a while she does seem to take pleasure in frustrating O'Neill.
"Colonel, is there something wrong with your lunch? We could trade, mine's delicious!" Jonas Quinn offers, noticing that O'Neill has not eaten much and yet is continuing to glare at his lunch and poke it with unnecessary force.
O'Neill does not respond or even look up, though he does jump slightly a moment later. A glance at Major Carter confirms my suspicion that she has kicked him in the shin underneath the table. She does this occasionally, usually when he is caught not paying attention during a briefing.
"Huh? Oh. No, Jonas, that... won't be necessary. Enjoy your... lunch there." Jonas Quinn gives yet another grin and continues to eat.
I believe the thing that frustrates O'Neill more than anything about Jonas Quinn is that he is so open. O'Neill is forced to keep many things a secret, including many emotions most humans have the luxury of sharing with the world. So it is understandable that it is frustrating for him to watch Jonas Quinn being so openly happy about things, including Major Carter's company. If O'Neill behaved as he does, he and Major Carter would both be "court-martialed," as DanielJackson explained it to me once long ago.
I shall try to lighten O'Neill's current mood. "Major Carter, will you be further instructing Jonas Quinn for the remainder of the day?" I ask politely.
"Well, I have to get to work on the device SG12 brought back this morning, but you're welcome to watch and help, Jonas..."
"I inquire because I find myself with a substantial amount of free time this afternoon. Jonas Quinn has asked me to instruct him in hand-to-hand combat. I now have sufficient time for this instructing."
"Oh, no problem. Just be careful with him, Teal'c," she says with a smile.
"I will not damage our newest team member," I agree. "Jonas Quinn, are you interested in learning this today?" I ask him.
He glances at Major Carter and I am sad to realize he would much rather spend the day with her. O'Neill notices this as well. This situation may yet require me to intervene in a more overt way, as DanielJackson would undoubtedly do were he still with us. Jonas Quinn looks back at me again and I give him a stern look. He nods, then smiles again.
"Of course. Thanks, Teal'c."
This will not only give me an opportunity to speak to Jonas Quinn, but will give O'Neill time to either pester Major Carter on his own or go to his quarters and sulk. Were I a betting man, I would place a wager on the first scenario. True to my prediction, as soon as she finishes her lunch, he says, "Carter, I need your help in my office. My computer still hates me."
He gives her one of his facial expressions that seem to amuse her and she smiles and says, "Of course, Colonel."
Hmm... perhaps she WAS genuinely oblivious to his behavior earlier. Major Carter's thought processes are much more difficult to interpret than O'Neill's. DanielJackson said this is a general rule of women and men on this planet, although I suspect Major Carter is much more inscrutable than the average Tau'ri woman.
They get up to leave, and Jonas Quinn does the same, but I would prefer to speak to him here first. Perhaps a joke would be appropriate to ease the tension of the group. O'Neill and Major Carter both find it especially enjoyable when I "crack a joke."
"Jonas Quinn, if you would remain here for a few moments, we could continue with our alien conspiracy," I say evenly. He looks so concerned, as if terrified we will be taken seriously and executed on the spot by O'Neill and Major Carter, that I allow myself a small smile to show him I was only joking.
My intentions were successful. Major Carter is giggling quietly and O'Neill laughs loudly, claps me on the back, and says loudly, "Good one, T!" They both leave in much better moods. Maybe DanielJackson's approach was not altogether bad.
"What did you want to talk about, Teal'c?" Jonas Quinn asks me.
"I must speak with you about the future of SG1. You are part of our family now, Jonas Quinn, but you must choose what part you will play. I am afraid if you choose wrong, you will cause problems within the family rather than becoming a helpful member."
"I'm not following..."
"Major Carter. You would do well to think of her as a close female relative and nothing more. A sister, daughter, aunt, mother, cousin, or some such relation."
"Teal'c..."
"I say this for the benefit of the team, but also to save you from unnecessary embarrassment and trouble. Relationships between coworkers are strictly forbidden among the Tau'ri. While you are not a ranking officer in the Air Force, you are still a member of SG1." He wants to argue with this so I continue without giving him the chance. "In addition to this, Major Carter will never reciprocate any affection you might have for her other than friendship."
"And just how can you be so sure? She's been so nice to me..."
"Because that is her nature. I do not blame you for being attracted to her. I am merely warning you. Change your course of thinking while it is early."
"So, let me get this straight... this is who exactly, warning me away from her? Her brother, father, what?"
"You would like me to identify my relationship with Major Carter?"
"Yes."
"Very well. I suppose I consider her to be the wife of my brother."
"The wife of your brother? What does that..." he thinks for a moment and then says, "OH! You mean Colonel..."
"If you are to remain on SG1, you must realize there are certain rules to which we all adhere. One of them is that after this conversation is over, you speak of it only to me if you absolutely must. Under no circumstances mention any of this to anyone else you meet here. If ever questioned on the topic, remain as vague or silent as possible. If you do not wish to complicate already complicated matters, do not mention this to Colonel O'Neill or Major Carter either. Do not look so worried. Most of the time this situation does not require addressing."
"So that's why the Colonel's been so unhappy all day?"
"Indeed. This, you will learn, is what we call one of 'those days.'"