Chapter 22

We had it made. Bryan knew my secret. Right now he thinks it's a secret just between the two of us. It's the cutest thing. I thought with the way things have been I should spend more time with him. I was so stressed out with school, work, and among other things I couldn't help but to notice I neglected him. He needed time with me. It was early morning, and while Charlie slept I took Bryan out. We did leave Charlie a note of course.

We went to the supermarket as our first stop. I had to get some things for dinner. Bryan stayed close to the cart and tried to help me load it. Bless his heart though, he struggled to lift things and put them in the basket.

"Imma be just like Daddy!"

"You are just like Daddy, look at you being my little helper."

"I not a little helper I'm a big helper!" He corrected me sternly.

"That's right." I said with a smile. As we were leaving their was a coin slot riding horse just outside the market. I allowed Bryan a few minutes on it.

"Mommy! Mommy! I cowboy!"

"I see that."

He screamed with joy.

Once the horse quit I took Bryan for a drive. We listened to music. He began to loudly speak sing the words off key. I just let him sing. I could see him from the rearview mirror. He kicked his feet in the carseat and happily bounced along to his own concert. We stopped for lunch at Bryan's favorite place with the ball pit. We don't spoil him, but Charlie and I know if we go anywhere on a special occasion that's the spot Bryan loves to go.

I gave Bryan a dose of his insulin pen. I kept it in my purse 24/7. He took it well. Bryan got sort of used to the needles. He knew that if he didn't take it, he couldn't eat, and he loved their curly fries. Besides Charlie and I both softly scream when we inject it so he doesn't hear the click. This makes Bryan feel more confident in taking his medicine. Sometimes we sing. Sometimes we count. We distract him in different ways from both the fear and the pain. Bryan has watched Charlie take his medicine so many times that it doesn't bother him. He wants to be just like his Daddy. Big, strong, and tall. He also wants to grow up to protect me. After lunch he begged me to play in the ball pit with him.

"Please Mommy!"

"I'm too big son...you go ahead and play and I'll watch."

"Bend down!" He shouted.

"Honey, even if I crouch I won't fit through the entry way...it's for little kids like you. It's made just for your size Bryan."

"Awww okay!"

He dove through the plastic balls. He pretended he was lost in an ocean of sharks. But he had magical powers to help him fight through it."

"Die you!" He exclaimed. "Pow! Pew!" He threw balls across the pit to the other side. I smiled and I let him play for as long as he wanted. Even when the lunch rush came in with dozens of kids. He made new friends and had the time of his life. He got tired and I took him back home for his nap.

I made sure to check his sugar, then I put a sippy cup of juice by his bed along with a few pieces of chocolate. I don't think Bryan knows exactly what is going on with his body, but he knows if he ever feels bad, certain foods and drinks will help him feel better. Everyday at naptime I leave them by his bed just in case, and Bryan takes care of the rest. I've had to be careful though sometimes he just eats or drinks what's there even if he is feeling well. I tucked him in and put a stuffed bear by his side. I backed up into the hall and shut the door quietly. I accidently bumped into Charlie.

"Watch your back." Charlie whispered. I put one finger on my mouth to silence him. I then gestured for him to follow me outside. For Bryan's second birthday great great grandpa Max bought him a swing set. It took him, my dad, Kevin, and Charlie almost two hours to build it. Gwen and I stepped into help. It took us maybe 20 minutes to show them how to build it correctly. Not one of them looked at the instructions. We finally got it up though, and it's a beautiful wooden swing set with three blue swings, a glider swing, a slide, and rings.

Charlie and I sat down on the glider. It was a two-person swing that featured two seats facing each other, and was large enough and sturdy enough to accommodate both of us. We began to sway back and forth as we spoke. My hair started to blow against the wind of the swing's movement.

"Did you have fun with Bryan this morning?"

"I did yeah...it was such a wonderful time."

Charlie grinned.

"You know Charlie...with school starting back in August...I'll be working full time now. 10 months out of the year, seven days a week. I know I'll have several school board meetings and teacher in service days."

"Yeah?"

"The weekends, holidays, and summers will be my only time with Bryan."

"That's not true honey, you'll have from the time you wake up, to the time you come home and go to bed again...besides he won't be two forever, he'll have to start school soon, and you could be his teacher."

"That's true... I'm gonna miss him though."

"I know babe...I miss you both when I go into work...but we're a family so we'll always be together even when we're not together.

I leaned forward kissing him. He stopped the swing.

"Five bucks I can do a flip on the rings." He spoke out.

"Okay, five bucks you fall on your head. But please don't." I replied. Charlie scoffed and walked over to the rings. He grabbed them tightly. I watched his knuckles turn white. He jumped up and began to flip over. His shirt came up revealing his abs and his insulin pump in the process. Charlie wears it all the time now. Except to bed or in the shower. He completed the flip accurately.

"Five bucks little lady. Pay up."

I laughed.

"Well let me just go inside and get my purse little man."

"Little, I'm a lot bigger than you, you dork!"

He sounded just like Bryan at the store this morning. I gently touched his face and kissed him. If Bryan was just like Charlie I knew he wouldn't have any future problems. Charlie's the best there is.

"What's for dinner tonight babe?"

"Our favorite, rice and mushroom casserole with sweet carrots, and I'm baking some fish. I thought you and Bryan could use some extra protein."

"Sounds great!"

Charlie helped me make dinner that night while Bryan sat at his activity table and colored while watching TV. I've prepared the dish more times than I can count. Dana said Charlie can't have a lot of grains, and bread is definitely out. Wheat bread makes all the difference. For this dish though it requires rice. Which Charlie and Bryan can't eat a lot of. It's high in carbs and calories. But the brown rice I use is fine, because it's different than the original white. I normally boil it and simmer the rice on low, and add in a few mushrooms.

Mushrooms don't contain a lot of carbohydrates, and set well on Bryan's stomach. The sweet carrots do have both brown and white sugar in them, but due to the boys' blood sugar being low most of the time it counter acts the sugar and raises it just enough it's stable and healthy. It's all also extremely delicious.

Now the fish is something new I decided to add. I've fried, baked, broiled, and cooked fish before, but something about this fish was absolutely horrid. The crazy thing was, it was fresh. I just bought it. It didn't seem to bother Charlie. The smell to me though was disgusting. Normally I know what fish smells like. It does have a loud smell, but I was used to it. This wasn't my first time to deal with the smell of fish. For whatever reason though this time this smell was making me sick. I began to pull the bones from the fish. The smell hit me again 10 times harder. I began to gag.

"Harmione..." I heard Bryan say as he stirred the carrots.

I wanted to close my nose but my hands were wet with fish juice. I gagged again. My stomach began to hurt. I coughed violently trying to hold back my urge to vomit.

"You okay, what's the matter?" Charlie asked urgently.

I washed my hands as quick as I could. I handed him the bowl of fish to get it away from me and out of my sight. I ran for the bathroom. I paced the floor a few times. It really wasn't the sight of the fish. Even removing the bones from it was never bothersome. It was just something I did in the kitchen. It was the smell. That awful smell. It wasn't going away. It was like it was stuck in my nose clinging to the hair on my nostrils. I turned the sink on and let the faucet run. I began to fan myself.

It was extremely hot in our bathroom. I took off my shirt and stood there in my bra. I tried to make myself feel better by splashing a bit of water on my face, but the heat wasn't going away. The door opened slowly and Charlie stuck his head in.

"Everything okay?"

"I...I'm fine. I just needed to get away from that smell, and it was hot in the kitchen."

"You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah I just need to take a breath for a minute and-"

It was then I felt my stomach chern. That smell was back. The heat was overpowering. I swiftly held my hair and threw up in the toilet. I couldn't hold it back.

"Har!"

I felt the contents of my stomach leave me, from not only out my mouth but also through my nose. It was burning hot. The smell of my own bile made me even sicker. I began to vomit even more.

"Hang on, here you go."

Charlie wetted a rag in cold water and placed it on the back of my neck. The colf relieved me of the heat that was rushing to my face. He held my hair tight in a ponytail, and held me at the hip. The pain in my stomach grew. I thought for sure I had the stomach virus or something ruptured within. I began to cry. The pain was intense. Like a muscle sprain you get in your side when you run too fast. Or an extreme need of hunger. I could hardly stand. I coughed and gagged violently. When I finished I saw Charlie's hand reach for the toilet to flush it.

He gently sat down with me on the floor. I sniffled and held my stinging throat. Charlie removed the rag from my neck and began to stroke my face with it.

"That better, you alright?"

I sniffled and took the rag from him.

"Thank you...I...I don't know what came over me..."

I pulled my hair back. Luckily for me I kept a hair tie on my wrist. I quickly put all my hair up in a bun on top of my head.

"Maybe we skip the fish tonight...I can fry us some honey ham...I'll fix you some soup."

"Okay..."

"You okay now?"

"Yeah...I...Charlie I'm sorry it was just that smell it was so..."

"Okay...okay...forget it...it just made you ill...you might get sick again if you think about it...here."

He helped me to my feet. He then wrapped my arms around his neck. I held onto him and he picked me up bridal style. He carried me into our bedroom and sat me down on the bed. He took off my shoes, my socks, and my pants.

"I'm not that sick Charlie...really I'm feeling better now."

"I don't care what you say Har, you're gonna rest."

As I sat on the bed in only my bra and panties, he dug around in the dresser.

"Take your bra off."

I slowly but surely took my bra off and placed it across the bed. He took it and put it in the hamper. He then gave me one of his T-shirts.

"Put that on." He instructed and reached up to turn our fan on. I did as he said.

"Charlie...sweetheart, thank you...but I-"

"Ssh Har...take some time to yourself...I'll be in the kitchen. I'll get dinner sorted, give Bryan his bath and put him to bed...dont worry okay...you've been going and doing for everyone...let me take care of you now."

"Charlie I'm not sick I just-"

He shut the door behind him as he left. I mean if he wanted to do all of that for me that was fine. I appreciated him so much. Since I lost my lunch, I did feel better. The urge to vomit again did not return. That fish almost killed me though.

I felt bad that Charlie was tending to the needs of the household, but then again it felt refreshing to for the first time in a long time do absolutely nothing at all. I just sat in the cool air under our ceiling fan; watched television in our master bed of silk sheets and pillows, and basked in the aroma of Charlie's work shirt. It smelled just like him, lavender and cedarwood Using a blend of flowers, leaves and woods, to achieve a smoky aroma. It was sexy. It was hot. It was one of my favorite things about Charlie. I first smelled it on his jacket back in high school some time ago. It still makes me swoon. It makes me tremble. It was as if moments ago I was burning in a heated room, with the smell of rotting garbage, with a spoon jammed down my throat. And now, I was on a cloud, overlooking a sea of chocolate strawberries to drown myself in. I kinda wished Charlie didn't think I felt so bad. I didn't feel that bad at all really. I felt so relaxed and so rested, that I was ready to help with dinner, clean house, take care of Bryan, or even make love to Charlie. Though I felt like doing 100 things. I stayed in bed doing one thing. I slept. Charlie awoke me for soup. I ate every bite and I didn't see it later.

The next morning I didn't feel sick. My stomach felt much better. Charlie threw that fish out and took it straight to our large trash can outside. He was such a good husband. I decided then and there that maybe I couldn't make dinner, but being the first one up I could make breakfast.

I decided to make ham and cheese omelets. Then the second strangest thing happened. I had a sudden burst of energy that just went away. I got all the ingredients out along with my pan, but I just didn't feel like making breakfast. I didn't feel like cleaning up the kitchen either. I went back to bed as I was struck with extreme fatigue. Maybe I really was sick. I'm starting to think these minor occurrences of symptoms isn't something I should just tread over and pretend nothing is wrong. If I do that I may get worse, even if I'm feeling well. Clearly my body was upset with me and was fighting off an infection of some kind. Either viral or bacterial, I wanted to make sure I wouldn't give whatever I had to Charlie and Bryan. And to make sure it wasn't serious; I had to go to the doctor.