I once had the understanding

that everything would go my way

Now we've come to far along for me

to hold on to my own beliefs

The landscape was like an ethereal, magical stage for the world's most romantic play.

It was dominated by a sea of beautiful, lush trees, with spots of bright right apples or a litter of dark purple berries hidden between the curtains of green. A soft breeze blew in like a caress from the west, the smell of a field of poppies in full bloom riding the playful breeze. On the right side of the scenery, towering above the trees, was a mountain. From this mountain, a lovely waterfall cascaded down, the rays of the sun reflecting off the falling water, making it sparkle and stand out from the rocky slope. The sky itself was its best shade of blue today with only a single, tasteful cloud in the sky. The sun was bright, but not too bright, warming skin pleasantly instead of burning it.

In the front of this stage was a large and wide clearing overgrown with the lushest of grass, barely a rock in sight. A frontstage ready for two lost lovers to meet again; for a son to forgive his long-estranged father; for a family to be reunited.

Unfortunately, fate must have missed this memo.

The play shown today was one not of romance, but of horror.

The trees were littered with scorch marks, some of them burned to a crisp. The clearing was upturned, littered with small and large craters that kept getting more and more common until the evenness of the ground was nowhere be seen. The once green grass was either lost to the upturned earth, scorched black or painted a bright crimson.

In the middle of the clearing was the largest crater of them all. Twenty feet deep and almost a hundred feet wide, this crater had become the centrepiece of the play.

On the edge of the crater stood three figures.

One was tall, lanky, with grey hair standing upright and both eyes closed, body held unnaturally still.

One was shorter, but bulky, with a bright orange jacket and a face as white as chalk.

The last of the three was the only one who was moving. Her fist was clenched tightly, tears were forming in her eyes, and one foot was starting to move forward before changing its mind and falling behind her instead.

It was the only woman among them, and she was the first to speak.

"No."

All three figures were focused on the centerpiece. While all craters in this ruined stage of a field were an even shade of brown, the central crater was the only one whose dull, earthly colour was disturbed by something else.

A lone figure laid still in the middle of the field, one leg buried under a rock, hands still locked in what some knew to be the second-to-last sign of a summoning jutsu. He was covered in burns and scratches, half of his hair burned off, free leg sprawled at an odd angle. His body was a mix of colours: midnight black, poisonous purple, deathly white, and blood red.

Most notable of all were the two patches of dark crimson on his face.

Two holes were his eyes once were.

Sakura took another look at the boy she had loved for most of her life, and fainted.

When they arrived back in Konoha, Sasuke's broken body slung over Naruto's shoulder, they were met with an uproar.

To Sakura, it all felt like she was in a dream. They reported to Tsunade. The body was taken away for examination, Naruto only letting it go after Tsunade promised she would oversee it personally.

The remainder of that day was spend carving Sasuke's name into the Memorial Stone. Even though he was technically a missing-nin, Naruto insisted and Tsunade couldn't find it in herself to stop him. Eventually, all three of them were staring at the kanji of his name.

Sakura regarded her teammates. Kakashi's whole body was stiff. There was a myriad of emotions in his visible eye, and for a moment, Sakura wondered if he would be the one to initiate a conversation, to begin to fill the gaping hole she could feel inside of herself. He was still their sensei, after all.

Who was she kidding. This was Kakashi.

When the grey-haired man threw his team a lazy wave and disappeared, she was not surprised. Disappointed, maybe, somewhere behind this veil of shock and disassociation, but not surprised.

If Sakura would have known this was the last of Kakashi she would see in a very long time, that this time even Gai would have trouble pulling Kakashi from memorial stone and the myfaultfailedobitorinsenseiobito…

Well. Honestly, she would have felt pretty much the same.

When Naruto looked at her, she felt tears once again appear in her eyes. Normally Naruto would hug her, cheer her up, or otherwise react; this time, however, his face stayed blank. As if something had broken. As if some part of him was missing.

Sakura wanted to be the one to reach out to him, but couldn't. They had never worked that way.

Even behind her veil of apathy, Sakura felt surprised at the figure which emerged from the forest behind them and approached Naruto.

"N-naruto-kun," Hyuuga Hinata initiated conversation with her long-time crush for the first time in her life, "please c-come with me. Let's get some ramen."

When the blonde jinchuuriki did not react, Hinata squared her shoulders, the fire of determination igniting in her eyes, simply took Naruto's arm and started walking.

Naruto did not resist.

If Sakura had known that this would be the beginning of both Naruto's recovery and a very successful relation between the two shinobi – so successful, in fact, that the two of them would rarely think of anything else than each other for a very long time – she would have felt nothing.

Because as the two of them left, they both forgot about her.

Left behind once more.

Sakura turned on her heel and went to find Ino.

Only to end up at her apartment, alone, after a Yamanaka cousin brushed her off.

Ino was on a long-term infiltration mission, expected to be back in two months.

So Sakura went home.

Alone.

Afterwards, Sakura reflected, that was the day after which everything started to fall apart.

The following weeks Sakura spend in a daze. With Ino gone, Kakashi either training himself to death or living at the Memorial Stone (just one more name to mourn for) and Naruto being cared for by Hinata, Sakura's world was reduced to her apartment and her apartment alone.

Tsunade was busy with the aftermath of Sasuke's death. Apart from giving her three bottles of Sake and an order to take some time off, her former mentor did not have any time for her.

The Hokage had never seen Sakura when she was still younger and obsessed with marrying Sasuke-kun. That girl had been hidden away for years as the pink-haired kunoichi matured, but had never really died.

Until now.

Tsunade forbade her from doing any hospital work for at least two weeks. It was the worst decision the woman could've made, no matter her good intentions. Her three close friends were either gone or grieving. Hinata was busy with Naruto, and she and TenTen never had been quite that close. She had friends at the hospital, but none good enough to call upon at a time like this. As an only child with deceased parents, an empty apartment was the only thing that greeted her.

Her hands itched and her mind was restless. Flashbacks to her past combined with nightmares from Sasuke's death kept her awake at night.

She was all alone. Just her and her demons.

When thinking of Sasuke, Sakura had imagined many things. She thought of Sasuke turning up at the gate one day with Orochimarus head, full of remorse and wisdom. She thought of stumbling upon him by herself in a pub in a distant town, first punching, then screaming and then talking throughout the night. At dawn, she would hold out her hand, and he would take it. Together they would walk back to Konoha. But most of all she imagined Team 7, chasing Sasuke, coming closer and closer until Naruto managed to finally pin Sasuke down and bring him home for good this time, her and Kakashi trailing behind with a smile and an eye-crinkle.

Not for Sasuke's story to end in a unnamed clearing, killed by an unknown shinobi.

The scene of Sasuke's death haunted her every night.

Then Inner woke up.

The second night laying awake in her bed was the night when Inner had started speaking to Sakura again. Sakura had trailed off to sleep, exhausted, only for the nightmares to attack her viciously. She had woken up in tears when a familiar voice in her head started soothing her.

She'd missed Inner. Her other half hadn't spoken to her after Sasuke left and stayed silent throughout the training with Tsunade.

Sakura thought Inner had gone away, that they had merged somehow, but she was wrong. Thankfully. Without Inner she would have never made it through Sasuke's death with her sanity intact.

Inner helped her through the first week, talking to her and comforting her whenever she could, which was basically all the time.

Naruto dropped by twice, but neither of them could think of anything to say. Something between the two of them was shattered, old habits not feeling appropriate anymore and both shinobi too emotionally exhausted to establish a new friendship.

There weren't many happy memories of Sasuke to share, anyway.

Kakashi did not visit at all.

At one point Inner suggested punching and training the feeling of helplessness out of her and Sakura did. The next week was spend punching trees in frustration, starting to eat regularly again.

The week after that was half spend training and half on hospital duty. It was nice to be at the hospital again, though the overly-concerned and sympathetic hugs from her co-workers just made Sakura retreat into herself even more. She wasn't ready for this.

In a way, those co-workers who stoically pretended nothing happened and whispered behind her back about how could she mourn a traitor were better.

Nevertheless, the hospital was not quite the escape from her pain Sakura hoped it would be.

It was still better than being home alone.

Inner's snide comments supported her throughout the day, keeping her away from the dark place in her head.

Once, she had even hunted down her (old?) sensei and challenged him to a spar. But Kakashi had just looked at her with empty eyes and told her the stars aren't right for a spar today.

She did not ask again.

Walking home in the rain that day, under grey skies, to an empty apartment, Sakura felt more empty than she'd ever felt before.

The lonely monotony of her life was broken by an unexpected source.

One late afternoon, the day after approaching Kakashi, Sakura had found her favourite training field once more. She was going to break twice the amount of trees today, she decided. Just as she finished her warm-up, a green blur approached from between the trees.

"My Youthful Blossom!" the shrill and enthusiastic cry of a familiar voice reached her ears, "Gai-sensei saw you asking for Youthful Spar yesterday and has sent me to fulfil your desire! You are burning with the Will of Fire!"

Lee struck a pose, teeth shining.

Sakura blinked, about to turn him down out of reflex.

"Stop right there. Just accept his challenge. He's a monster in taijutsu – we could learn something from him! And can we really afford to be picky about our company right now?" Inner cut in.

"You're right." Sakura had admitted, a little bit ashamed of her prejudice.

Feeling a spark of energy igniting within her she hadn't felt from before Sas- that day, Sakura struck her first in the air.

"Sure, Lee! You're on!"

"YOSH!" Lee answered in delight, showing none of his surprise. "Let Us Begin!" he shouted and then he was gone.

Sakura felt him appear behind her, but before she could react, she was flowing to the opposite side of the field and crashing against a rock.

Lying face-down between the debris, hands automatically pressed against her face and healing her broken nose, Sakura grinned.

She'd missed this.

Lee and her made it a habit to spar together every day.

Sakura suspected Lee was instructed by Gai to keep her company. Though they never talked about Sasuke, team 7, or anything to do with that, daily spars, banter and youthful shouts (Sakura got even better at dealing with Youth) they eventually became friends.

Sakura was still having trouble coming out of her bed in the morning.

With her new morning routine, she still was having trouble, but it was because of sore muscles instead of nightmares.

Lee was also not afraid to offer her advice on taijutsu. He corrected her while complimenting her in the same breath, never implying she wasn't good enough. One day, Gai came along to compliment her on her youthfulness, and shouted a new training regime to her as he hugged Lee enthusiastically.

To this day Sakura was still thankful for Lee, and Gai by extension.

As the days went by, Sakura could admit Lee suddenly became one of her closest friends. Her only friend that actually visited her and helped her, the depressing realization followed soon after.

Naruto had not visited anymore. Kakashi did not seek her out for a spar or free dinner. Tsunade was focused on dealing with Sasuke's death politically and helping her beloved cousin Naruto – the next Hokage and jinchuuriki, which meant his emotionally stability was important (more important than hers). There were even rumours the Sannin was considering Hinata as her new apprentice.

Rationally, Sakura could understand her shishou's actions.

Emotionally, she had never felt so abandoned.

When Ino returned from her mission three weeks later, it got better. For over a week Ino visited daily, even if it was just to eat dinner or sit with her.

Ino herself was visibly conflicted about Sasuke. Yes, she'd loved him when they were younger, but it was a fleeting, puppy kind of love. When Sasuke abandoned the village, Ino – a clan heiress who was raised with loyalty as a core value opposed to Sakura who was raised as a civilian – quickly turned love into hate. The last Uchiha, abandoning his village, depriving Konoha of the strength of the Sharingan and officially turning the Uchiha clan extinct… The other Konoha Eleven were not so forgiving of Sasuke as team 7 was, though they rarely spoke of it when either she or Naruto could hear it.

Knowing Ino's thoughts about Sasuke, when the blonde kunoichi tried to broach the subject, Sakura did not feel comfortable opening up.

The other reason for her reluctance was simple.

Ino was simply too late.

Sparring with Lee gave her new energy. The whispers in the hospital had died down. Inner had helped her mostly deal with the Sasuke issue, pushing whatever remained of it to the back of her head.

Ino tried.

But it was just too late.

Still, she helped. Sakura smiled more often and could chatter casually about what happened in the hospital without breaking down.

But Inner was a very different friend than Ino, and it was Inner who helped her through the most difficult time in her life.

Inner taught her something.

Sakura didn't need anyone else. Not Team 7, who had never came to visit her, or the hospital nurses, who gossiped about her more than helped her even with good intentions, or Tsunade, to which the village always came first.

She had Inner. She had herself. Those were the only people she needed to open up to, and it was enough to deal with whatever emotions she was having trouble with.

And if that wasn't enough, a part of her admitted, she could go and punch Lee.

So Ino tried.

But it was just too late.

Life went on.

Whatever happens, life goes on. This was a lesson Sakura would never forget.

By the time Sakura could breathe normally, Naruto was starting to go on missions again and had a relationship with Hinata and Kakashi showed up two hours late for a meeting once more, a year had passed.

Naruto had worked through his issues together with Hinata. Kakashi had dealt with it in his own way, never forgetting but always moving on.

(He was more used to it in any case.)

As the people around fell back into their normal lives, for Sakura, everything had changed.

When she was training with Lee (her taijutsu had improved in leaps and bounds, even though they'd cut down their spars to twice a week) or on hospital duty everything was fine. She even took on a mission or two, if not with the remains of Team 7 but with Team Gai instead.

(If the missions were always 'Team Gai plus Sakura' and there were moments in which their seamless teamwork and positive team dynamic made Sakura feel even more lonely, she did not let it show. When the 'mission or two' did not become more, she tried not to feel disappointed.)

Things were not the same, though.

At the end of the day, Sakura was still alone.

Now that Team 7 had left her and Tsunade was busy training Hinata as her new apprentice, what did that make Sakura?

She was Lee's friend, yes, but Lee was closer to Gai and Team 9. She was Tsunade's student, yes, but Tsunade was Hokage first.

She was healing shinobi who went out into the field only to land back into the hospital – sometimes within a week.

She was spending time with Lee and Ino, sometimes joined by TenTen, making excuses whenever Hinata was joining.

She was a shinobi of Konoha, but what did that mean for her? Konoha was build on teamwork, on friendship. But Sasuke had died, and her team had left her behind.

What purpose did she have left?

What use did she have?

What did she contribute to the world? To Konoha?

Three months after Sasuke's passing, when Kiba returned from a mission fatally injured for the third time that week, Sakura had an euphoria.

She'd forgotten her own strength.

She was too used to standing on the side lines, watching her teammates backs. The support, the medic, only jumping in when the need was dire. Never putting herself in danger except when she was the last one standing.

Staying in Konoha, waiting for her injured comrades to come back half-dead from their dangerous missions to coach them back from the brink of death.

When she could be the one to stop them from being on the brink of death altogether.

She'd become a coward.

Fuck that, she decided.

She was going to find her strengths again. Find a new purpose. A new nindo. In the past it had been to bring Sasuke back and make Team 7 whole again.

Now it was time for her to become strong enough to stand next to her teammates in the field again. Team 7 had forgotten her, yes, but she'd also neglected herself.

It was time for that to change.

For her to become happy. She never wanted to experience anything like Sasuke's death again. No more people like striving for power and revenge that would kill not only them, but many, many others. No more wars that break families apart, that left children orphaned and people like her all alone.

Sakura wanted a world where healing people did not mean sending them to their deaths again. Where people were not broken daily and it was so easy for a lone person to slip through the cracks and be left all alone.

She was going to find her new nindo.

She was going to belong again.

Two years later

"You asked for me, Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura said as she entered the Hokage's office. She closed the door behind her and breathed in the smell of paper mixed with sake. Tsunade never stopped drinking, and Sakura was sure that if it wasn't for her medic skills her liver would've long since given up.

Sakura had assisted Tsunade for years and knew how though and draining being Hokage was. Even Naruto, with his boundless energy, would feel the strain if – when – he would take the hat. She couldn't really blame her shishou for drinking. Much.

As the pink-haired girl turned her back to the door, she saw that Kakashi, Naruto and Sai were already there. She'd never met Sai before, but heard about how he'd joined Team 7 after Sasuke's death.

Sai.

Her replacement.

Or Sasuke's replacement.

She wasn't sure which was worse.

Hiding her anger and distrust towards the emotionless shinobi, Sakura turned to the rest of Team 7 and smiled. This must mean they had a mission. It had been far too long since her last mission with Team 7.

Over two years, in fact.

Now was the time to show them her strength. To prove to them she belonged in Team 7 instead of on the side-lines.

"Ah, Sakura, you're here." Tsunade said with a hint of impatience. Sakura frowned slightly. She had to finish up with a patient and Tsunade should know that because she summoned her in the middle of a hospital shift.

Shaking off her frown, she paid attention again as Tsunade began to brief them.

"A missing-nin from Sand has been seen about a day south of Konoha. The Kazekage asked us to take care of him. To honour our alliance with Sand, I want this to be done as soon as possible. The name of your target is Katsuga Tayam, formerly a jounin of Sand, mid A-level. He deserted around 2 years ago. I want you to get rid of him quickly and efficiently. Find him. Kill him. Take his body, or at least his head, with you as proof for Sand. He has been threatening and killing civilians in Fire and I want it to stop."

Tsunade paused and the attending shinobi all nodded.

Sakura suppressed a smile. That sounded serious – a perfect chance to prove herself.

Tsunade grabbed a mission scroll from her desk and tossed it to Kakashi.

"This mission is A-rank, possibly S-rank. Kakashi, you're in charge. We have little information on him, since we haven't had time to contact Sand for further details. What we know is in the mission scroll. Leave in an hour, pack supplies for two days. Sakura, you're joining them as the medic and back-up. Any questions?" When there was no answer, Tsunade nodded. "Dismissed."

Sakura smiled at her teammates. "Meet you by the gate?"

"I didn't know you were appointed team captain." the Copy-nin drawled sarcastically. Sakura frowned at Kakashi's bland tone. "Sorry," she mumbled, her enthusiasm dimmed.

"Well, you heard our captain, one hour, at the gate." Kakashi told his team, eye on her, and Sakura shrugged. Seemed her former sensei was in a bad mood today.

"Bye, Sakura-chan! See you soon!" Naruto called with all the subtlety he normally possessed, which was none. The rest of the team hadn't even moved. Why did he want her gone?

She wasn't accomplishing anything by standing there, so she smiled at Naruto once more and exited the office.

"Hell yeah, a mission!" Sakura was distracted from her train of thought when Inner did a victory dance in her head. She smiled. She was itching to pump her fist in the air like she did in the past.

She just had to pop by the hospital to assign someone else to her rounds and pack for two days. An hour was more than enough time for that.

But the actions of both Kakashi and Naruto gave her an uneasy feeling in her gut. And if there was one thing she had learned in all these years of being a kunoichi, it was to trust your instincts.

Seeing that Shizune wasn't at her desk currently and the corridor was empty, Sakura bend down as to reach for something in Shizune's desk and discreetly formed the hand signs to temporarily undo the sound-proof jutsu on the Hokage's office. Sakura and Shizune made a habit to of doing this regularly to make sure their Hokage was working and not drinking or sleeping (and snoring loudly). The ANBU watching the Hokage's office, even if they had seen her handsigns, would hopefully not think it weird.

The pink-haired medic leaned her back against the door, hands behind her back to reapply the jutsu if she was noticed. She could always pretend to wait on her teammates, which wasn't far from the truth.

Not that anyone usually questioned her. Or paid any attention to her whatsoever. You would think that her pink hair would draw attention, but her orange-coloured loudmouthed teammate proclaiming to be the next Hokage running around Konoha was the centre of the rumour-mill. The pink hair of a dedicated medic-nin was quite tame in comparison.

Besides, Sakura was used to snooping around.

She used to feel bad about doing things like this, but she had to resort to snooping around often these days if she wanted to know anything about what was happening in the village. Like a true shinobi, she sometimes thought with a trace of bitterness.

Most shinobi felt more relaxed in their own village, so with a mix of listening in on public conversations, asking around 'for Tsunade-shishou' and helping Tsunade out with her paperwork once in a while Sakura felt she was pretty up to date on the ins and outs of her village.

At first, the reason for her being so out of the loop was because Ino was out of the village on a six month mission and she had no other friends who were gossip-queens like the blonde. Lee barley knew what was happening within his own team, for all his other shinobi skills.

Then it was because she didn't really see Ino after she came back, the rift between them caused by Sasuke both when they were genin and after his death not quite mended. There was no one else she was close enough with to fill her in on things she was supposed to know.

Sure, she knew all about what was happening in the hospital, which included more than you'd think, but that was still only a fraction of the things that happened in Konoha. Sakura couldn't help but feel guilty in the beginning, but when the months flew by and nobody even asked her how she knew certain things let alone suspected her to get the information from anything other than rumours or Tsunade-shishou herself, she stopped feeling guilty. She had to know what was going on in this village and if nobody cared enough to inform her, she would do it on her own.

Her status as student of the Hokage, of course, helped.

"…not sure about it." She heard Sai say and his voice snapped her back to reality.

"This could be dangerous, Sai. We need a medic. Sakura's the only one available with field experience." Kakashi explained.

"I haven't heard about her doing anything but crying and shouting for someone to rescue her."

Sakura's temper flared up. How dare he! He'd never worked with her before!

"I'm more interested in whomever spread those rumours. We haven't been that girl since the chuunin exams." Inner said darkly.

Since Sakura was only listening, she couldn't see the death glare Naruto gave Sai and Kakashi shifting into his peace-maker stance in order to avoid a fight. "She's our best option." Kakashi said with a definite note.

Sakura didn't register the soothing tone and a tear threatened to form in the corner of her eye. Not even defending her?

She willed the tear away. She told herself long ago she was done with crying.

"I don't want Sakura-chan to get hurt, baa-chan. It's just… I don't know if she can handle this…"

Naruto?! What had she done to deserve this? Did Naruto really think she couldn't handle a simple mission like this? She didn't need protection! How many times did she have to say that! She wasn't weak! She didn't need them to baby her, she needed them to trust her.

She was not useless!

"Sai, Naruto, Kakashi, listen. I know she's not the quite as experienced as you but she's a good shinobi – I trained her myself. I do hope you're not questioning my teaching skills." the Hokage answered with a glare. "She's capable and knows to work with you – she may not have the same amount of field experience, but that's why she's the backup. Now stop complaining and get out of my office. NOW!"

The backup.

Sakura swallowed.

the backup.

The kunoichi quickly re-did the jutsu and left before anyone could see her.

She quickly walked to the hospital and forced herself not to think about the conversation, lest her mind started over-analysing it. Then she would be distracted while packing and preparing for the mission. She went to her office called for one of her colleagues to finish her rounds, and left.

the backup

After she'd went home to pack, keeping her mind blank to the best of her abilities, she went to her favourite training ground to think. Training ground 14 lay just inside the walls. It was rarely ever used because it was small and extremely wooded. She searched for chakra signatures and when she found none, jumped into the nearest tree and let her legs dangle in the air. She had forty-five minutes left.

She leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes.

It hurt.

Her so-called teammates basically called her weak.

Below their level.

Less then them.

Not strong enough.

Memories of the past two years flew by. Team 7 kept leaving on missions, missions and more missions without her. She was 'needed at the hospital' and 'this wasn't a tough mission anyway.'

She didn't really mind, at first. Sakura loved the hospital and she loved helping people. The hospital was her playground. She was always needed there. Looking back, she realized she had not felt needed or wanted by her team, and it was true that the hospital was in need of skilled medic like her. And she was using all her free time to train, to become better, to reach their level again.

To go on missions with Team 7 again.

Yeah, maybe she could have been more assertive. She had assumed that after a few months, when there were more medics at the hospital, and her training started to pay off, she could join Team 7 again and show them her progress.

But months flew by and the situation didn't change.

Sakura's attitude, however, did.

All their excuses sounded more hollow each time they were used. In the beginning, she asked about their missions once in a while, if she could join them this time – que the lame excuses – but after she missed the call for a mission once because of an emergency at the hospital and they didn't even comment on it, she gave up.

They never asked her anymore.

Then she heard about Sai joining team 7. Making it a four-man cell again.

Her position was taken.

She was clearly not needed anymore. Not wanted.

The only time she saw her old team was when they were hurt.

As soon as they were injured, they immediately came to her like she was their mom. At her apartment, even, because they 'did not like the smell of the hospital'. When they'd been healed up, Kakashi always disappeared as soon as he could, though Naruto didn't.

Sakura even took her chance a few times to ask Naruto if he was up for a spar, proudly boosting that she'd been practising a lot.

But he'd always declined.

His excuses always had Hinata's name in them in one way or another. Sakura got the hint pretty quickly. She'd grown distant from Hinata as well, but it was idiotic that she still apparently saw Sakura as a threat to Naruto's heart.

She knew Naruto only saw the 'mom-friend' instead of a true teammates these days, never mind a potential lover.

This reputation of being the mom-friend extended not only to her former team but to the whole of Konoha 11.

Even though she did feel like their mom, she didn't like it. At all. All shinobi her age who were even the slightest bit likeable saw her as a mother, a goddamn nurse, not the woman she was. Sure, it wasn't that Sakura had much emotional energy to think about relationships, but this mom-reputation also hindered any overtures of friendship she tried to make to other shinobi.

And, worst of all, not only did her teammates call her weak, her own shishou said she was just the backup.

Tsunade was the only one who knew about her training with Lee and her practice with Kurenai, even if she didn't know the rest. Though her and Tsunade-shishou didn't speak that often anymore, the older woman knew how hard Sakura was working to become stronger.

And still.

Backup.

Not good enough.

The pink-haired kunoichi felt empty.

She still didn't belong.

She was still alone.