Naruto
Yellow daises
sprout
under the roots of the
old elms
where many a child has played before
but there
I dare not.
Sunday
in the classroom
between the flies and the heat
sweat rolls
down my neck
onto my paper in steady
drips
drops
until it starts to look
as if I've been crying.
As if. But the teacher
sees and
the class sees and they all
know.
I used to think the world ended in
the mountain
surrounding our village.
A line of steady and sturdy rock and trees
stronger than
all I knew. And I wanted
to be just
like them.
Until I saw
the sky. Blue and white from end
to end. And I was certain
there was more
even further beyond.
I am too little
for the swings
Kiba says.
Then lifts me up
until
his mother sees
from across the yard and their eyes meet and he
stops. Just
like
that.
Yesterday I cut myself
on the stove. I was
holding a knife
and cutting
the carrots
for soup because I was hungry. But
it bleed and tasted
strange. Sharp, almost
good. But it wasn't
any good at all and I
threw it out.
Sakura sleeps
during lunch, with her head
in her arms, pink
hair everywhere.
She is soft and the light
lays on her cheek and I
would kiss it but she would
wake so I just
kiss
my hand instead. The
blood gets in my
teeth, it's still
not healed. Iruka
sees and he
stops
and stares
until I stop
smiling.
I got lost in the market
and walked and
walked for hours until I had to sit down
between the stalls of
fresh fruit. The
smell
made me hungry so I got up and
asked
the tomato lady for some
but she closed her mouth and
closed her eyes and
just
turned away.
In September I wear
my orange
because it makes me feel
bright, as bright
and warm
as the summer sun at it's best
and I forget
the gray skies and
cold wailing wind and
the rain that drenches me to the bone.
In the morning
I went to class
and listened and
took notes and paid
attention.
But then it was lunch and I
went home
to make a sandwich but
stopped
and saw the sky
sitting on the monument
and knew
that was what I wanted to do.
So I took the paints
stashed
behind the dryer where they wouldn't get wet
and wouldn't be
in the way
or underfoot
and carried them all.
My favorite red, a beautiful
orange that dripped over the can in bursts
like the sunrise, slowly,
going down
to the green and blue beneath.
Stacked and bound
with ropes so I could lift them
over the wall and
down
to the carvings and faces where
I stayed all day and
smiled and laughed
until I cried.
Chouji stays late
and sleeps
with Shikamaru after class
in the yard where the older kids practice
with knives
and stars
that they say are sharp but I
never cut with.
And his arm is
wrapped
in white cloth
or something that is big
and bulky
and makes him hurt so
I go
to them and ask him
what it is. And
Shikamaru says that it is a cast for broken bones
even though
his face is still sleeping and his
body is still he
sighs
and says I would have one too,
one day. But
why
does he put in a cage
something
that will heal
by morning?
If I'm quiet enough
the shinobi don't mind
when I hide
in the training grounds in the top branches
of the big tree that looks
over the field where
metal flies
and people fight
the trees
and each other until
I fall asleep to the clank
and thump
of fists hitting and knives striking
and they make me
dream
of a chorus of bodies
and dogs
and fur and skin and sweat and
faces all
surrounding me until I am
not alone and I
wake up
at night when they have gone and my face
sticks to the bark
so I run my fingers over the deep ridges it leaves
on my cheek
because I like
the sensation.
Monday the sun
was large and warm and open
in the wide sky and so I
went
into the streets
past my house and followed the sunlight
left, right,
as it fell until I was lost
between a house with two kids and a dog
and a metal shop
where the light reflected
like little tiny orbs,
blinding
suns of their own.
And I looked up and
looked up and the real sun
was right there.
Then a boy came
with long black hair and
red eyes and
put his hand on my head and
looked down and
blocked out the sun and said
"Go to class," and
smiled at me so I
grinned back
and kept walking until I found
the outer wall
that surrounds the village and asked
the two guys that guard there
for a bowl of miso for lunch
even though
it was almost night. But they
only brought me back
home
and left, and didn't leave
any ramen at all.
When I am a ninja
in ten years
Sasuke says
I'll be the best
there ever was and not
get killed
in my sleep. He doesn't
know what
he's talking about.
I like the rain
when it whispers
and puts the sun
to sleep
because
it sounds like
they're singing
just for me.
Mizuki came up behind me
and caught me
red-handed
sticking tacks on the chairs
in the classroom
and he held
onto my hand as I looked up
and apologized and
swore
not to ever do it again. But
"Uzumaki," he said,
"Sometimes boys
have to be boys." And he grinned
at me and I grinned
back up and he let me finish.
And tomorrow
I will tell everyone
that he is
my favorite.
Someone left
oranges
on my bed this
morning
and I tripped
over them when I
woke up. They rolled
everywhere
and I love
the color
they're beautiful but
whoever brought them
is an idiot
because they taste
like oranges.
When I grow
up
I'll be on the mountain
looking down at the village
like all the other
faces but I'll
be different
because I
won't forget
to smile.
In the water
I swim
like a duck Ino says
and then laughs
at me and runs around
with her arms spinning and
quacks.
But I
laugh too
because I can swim
faster than anyone else and
she just
looks silly.
Iruka kept me
after class
because I skipped again
and slept
at home in my sheets until I got too hot
and went for a swim
in the fountain in the middle
of town.
But he saw me
in my shorts and
yelled
and chased me until
I got stuck
in some trash cans and
couldn't
get free.
Then he made me
march
to the school and
sat me
in the front row
where the chair
squeaks
if you move and
SLAM
went our history text on the desk.
And he wouldn't
let me go
home
until I finished it all.
Even though
I called him
a dirty
old man.
Wednesdays
the bakery across the road
has a sale
on everything but
bread
they tell me. I don't
know
what that means
but the smell
makes me so hungry
that I go.
Even though
I can't find
what's on sale.
The old man
came by
and brought me a cake
and candles
and let me light them and
blow
them out. And
light and blow
until
he laughed and
there was melted wax
everywhere.
And I ate
all the cake
even though
I tried to save
one piece
for him. Then
I asked if
we could have cake again
tomorrow.
But he said
no
and that today was special
even though
I don't know
what's so special about it.
And when I asked
he just
smiled
at me and put his hand
on my head.
But maybe
I'll get cake again
next year.
I think I remember
having it last year too
for some reason.