Neon Genesis Joker
Plot: Ever had a REALLY bad day? Shinji did a year before coming to Tokyo-3. But not to worry, it made him see the bright side of life, and dedicate his life to showing it to others…whether they like it or not. HE HA HA HA HA! Why so serious, reader?
This just a little plot bunny that's been bouncing around in my head recently, not really sure if there is enough for a full story, but putting it out there anyways. Feel free to adopt and expand if you want to, just give credit.
Read and review, would ye kindly?
Chapter 1: You (Can) Laugh, right?
When all is said and done, it was a miracle it had taken him so long.
Seeing his mom, the light of his life, die in front of his eyes when he was barely four?
Check.
Abandoned by his father mere days after said death without a word in years?
Check.
Raised by relatives that were distant in both blood and affection, never once even helping get over what happened?
Check.
No friends to give a damn about? No teacher who showed him more than the basic helping in understanding how subjects worked?
Check.
On that note, it was kind of funny how he had even come to the realization:
"Hm."
He had just wanted to have some friends. It was a little dare to go and …or was it a prank on him? No, they grabbed him from class and tossed him in, saying no one would miss him. Wait, no that wasn't it
….
Huh.
What had happened again? It was all so blurry. He'd remember it one way a second, and then the next he'd realize he got that from a manga. Then he'd remember it another way, and realize that was a dream.
"He."
He really was hopeless, wasn't he? Just like everybody always said
"He Ha."
It was funny; he actually tried something…and this happened. People were going to lecture and berate the hell out of him, saying he should've been smarter than this, as if they actually knew him.
"He Ha ha."
But that's life right?
"Ha ha, ha."
Life.
That's when he realized the truth about everything; his parents, lack of friends and drive...It all boiled down to one thing:
"Ha ha ha ha!"
Life was the ultimate joke, and he was the punchline.
Or…Had been.
"HA HA HA HA HA! HE HE HO HO HA!"
Police surrounded the boy known as Shinji Ikari, only to gasp or gag when they saw what was in front of them: No more was he a meek teenage boy, what stood before them was something that would never be forgotten.
All throughout the night, Shinji's laughs never stopped.
1 year later, Tokyo-3
Dancing to the music on his player, a young man in purple made his way to a payphone. Stopping in shock of such a thing still existing in this day and age, he nonetheless smiled, whipped out a can of spray on paint and sprayed a smiley face onto it. He then inserted a coin and dialed the number he'd been given.
"Sorry, all lines are down…"
He hung up and toddled off to the nearest bench, pulling out an apple to keep him busy while he waited for his pickup.
Just then, a rumble
"Big G!" He shouted "What have they done to you?!"
The massive creature in question easily towered over most bulidings: Humanoid in appearance with a big red orb in its center and bird skull for an apparent face. The army was attempting to stop it, but if giant monster movies had taught the boy anything, and it was being proved right now…they didn't do much.
"You'd think they'd learnt by now." He mused. "I mean this is Japan; with all the kaiju monster movies you'd think they'd have an idea what to do if something actually happened like that."
One of the helicarriers was then sent flying to the ground and in his general direction.
"Oh crab baskets."
The impact sent him flying to the ground, where a car suddenly pulled in front of him.
"Shinji?"
The speaker was an admittedly very beautiful woman with long ivory hair and an hourglass figure. The boy looked at the picture he'd received in the mail. Shades aside it was a perfect match expect for…
"False advertising!" The boy pouted playfully. "I was promised a bikini gal, not a hardened military woman…though I do still like what I see."
The young woman chuckled slightly and motioned him in.
"No need, I have my own ride." He said, pulling out a button he pushed. "Just lead the way."
In pulled in a tank like vechile with a big smiley face on it.
"You're welcome to come in, if you want." He smiled sweetly. "Just point me in the direction. Oh, you're surprised at this old thing? Bulit it myself. Well, more like redesigned it myself…but we should be fine in here. This bad boy was built to take bombs like they were nothing."
Shocked but not lookinga gift horse in the mouth, the woman drove her car into the vehicle and made her way to where her escort was sitting.
"I'm Misato Katsuragi." She explained.
"Charmed."
It took them 15 minutes to reach their destination.
XXX
"Okay puppies, you just sit here and behave. Daddy will be back soon."
"Who are you talking to?" Misato asked
"My pet hyenas." He answered truthfully, walking down the hall.
"Your…what?"
"Hyenas. You know, the really big moongose cousins? The henchmen from the Lion King? Jaws that crush elephant bones?"
Misato just stood there in shock. Sure, she had Pen-Pen the penguin, but hyenas? That was an odd choice.
He then doubled back, embarrassment in his form.
"Where we going again?"
It took an hour of going around in circles before another face appeared; a blonde woman in a swimsuit.
"Katsuragi, care to explain why I'm looking for you when I should be prepping for the upcoming..?"
She then saw who was accompanying her old friend had a very happy look in his eyes.
"HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA!" The boy grinned. "I don't know whats going on but I'm loving what I'm seeing!
"…This is him?"
"Yep."
Ritsuko Akagi, as she called herself, escorted them into an elevator that took them down to a darkened level. Suddenly, lights flicked on, revealing a giant robot head.
"It's….so…PURPLE! I LOVE IT!" He clapped like a giddy child in a candy shop, racing all over to get a better view of it. "Can I keep it?"
"It's been a while."
The boy looked up to see a grim faced man in glasses looking down at him.
"….And you are?"
His question confused many
"I need a pilot, not some punk in a cheap suit, Katsuragi!" Gendo bellowed. "Where is the Third?"
"Um sir? This IS him."
"Oh this was not cheap." The boy smiled, pointing to his outfit. "I paid very well for it. Well, actually, YOU paid well for it. 2 million. And you can feel very yen."
He snuggled
"Oh that's comfy. Go ahead, feel it."
….
….
"No takers? Okay then. So….the fuck do you want, beardie? You never wrote, you never called…what you want?"
"I called because I have a use for you." Gendo replied. "You will pilot it."
…..
"So let me get this straight." The boy said. "You called me after what, ten years? To pilot a mecha. To battle alien monsters. Am I missing anything?
No response.
….
"HA! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
He burst into laughter, rolling on the ground and slamming his fists onto said ground, somehow keeping his hat on his head.
"That…that actually is pretty funny!" He cackled, wiping a tear from his eyes. "It's beautiful, in a way!"
"GET IN THE GOD DAMN EVA, SHINJI!"
….
"Shinji?" The boy asked. "Shinji died a year ago. You can call me…"
He lifted his hat, and delighting in the gasps of shock and horror that greeted him,
"Joker."
The boy formerly known as Shinji Ikari's hair was lime grin and his skin chalk white, save for his eyes, which seemed to be darkened by either eye-shadow or some other shading make-up.
"And as you can see…I'm a lot happier. HE HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
He opened fire onto where Gendo stood, only for a flag with 'BANG!' on it to come from the nozzle.
"Just kidding!" He smiled, giggling impshily as he did so, he looked around to see everyone on edge lowly beginning to relax.
He then aimed the gun at a nearby man in black and fired again. The flag left the gun with a bang and imbedded itself into the poor sap's forehead.
"Oops." He said. "No I wasn't."
The commander hid his fear well, ordering that someone named rei be summoned.
"Gendo." The old man beside the commander pointed out. "Is the body not a clear enough indicator this could end very badly for anyone in this room?"
"I like him!" Joker said, pointing to said old man. "He gets it!"
The orderlies wheeled in a girl with blue hair wrapped in bandages that somehow struck a cord with the young man. She looked awfully familiar, but why….?
"I'll do it." Joker said, marching toward the Eva. "As funny as it would be to see a cripple fight kaiju, what boy doesn't dream of doing it himself?"
XXXX
"Launch the Eva." Misato commanded, sending the mech to the city.
"WEEEEE!"
"What do we have?" Ritsuko asked the techies.
"100% synchronization!" Maya noted in shock
"AGAIN!" Joker beamed once the Eva had stopped. "AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN!"
"Kill the angel first." Misato commanded, pointing him to it.
What followed next was…interesting.
Joker made the angel perform kicks and flips with no regard to the city around them…and then it just stopped.
"Technology!" Joker snapped. "Never works when you need it!"
Suddenly, a humanoid figure wrapped in black burst in front of him, arms stretched out.
"Hugs?" Shinji asked, embracing the presence. "Put er there, whats yer name!"
The figure wrapped Shinji in a tight embrace as the Evangelion began fighting all on its own, eventually winning the battle and emerging unscacthed even after the angel attempted suicide
But it was the video-call of the pilot that put everyone on edge;
Joker was crying. And not smiling.
He descended to the locker rooms with that shocked look on his face, ignoring everything around him.
"AHH! GET THEM OFF OF ME!"
He then turned to see Section Two agents surrounding his father while two animals he was very familar with mauled one of them
"Harley! Quinn! Spit that out, you have no idea where it's been!" Joker snapped, making the Hyenas whine under his throat. "There, there poopsies. It's okay, daddy's just…confuzzled at the moment. He'll give a nice, fat rich guy later."
The two hyenas yipped for joy and licked his face.
"Oh, and BTW daddy!" Joker shouted as Gendo got farther awy. "Mommy knows EVERYTHING you did….She ain't happy."
Gendo's form and face actually cringed.
Joker then turned around and asked
"So…who do I have to drown to get a decent place around here?"
XXX
"Well, Dr. Akagi?" Gendo asked, less confident than usual.
Ritsuko kept looking over the same sheets of paper over and over again, praying to god she'd made a mistake. She hadn't.
"Genius level intellect." She started off the bat. "Or at the very least, no restrictions whatsoever, which explain his 100% sync rate with the Eva."
"A pure brawler in terms of fighting." Misato added in. "And can take a hell of a lot of damage….he even seems to get off on it."
"This was not in the scenario…." Gendo cursed himself, racking his brain for how this could have gone so wrong.
"And apparently, he built that tank of his himself." Misato added, making all turn at her in shock of what she'd said.
Just then the phone rang.
"I thought I said to hold my calls." Gendo reminded his secretary.
"You did, but the gentleman on the line won't get off until he speaks to you, says it won't take long."
Sighing, the commander picked up the phone and said:
"Hello?"
"Hello, Gendo."
The Commander of NERV froze in shock and fear for the second time that night. It was the one voice he truly feared, and his cold sweating face made it clear to all how much trouble he was in.
"What, no hello back? I shouldn't be surprised…you never cared for anyone but yourself and Yui."
"H-how did you get this number?" Gendo asked, trying to play it cool.
"It wasn't hard." The voice said. "But we can discuss that later. For now then, I'll settle for you answering me this simple question… why is my grandson is Tokyo-3?"
Joker whistled throughout the Geo-Front, looking at anything that grabbed his fancy and scaring anybody he could; which when you have pale white skin, a glasglow grin and green hair, is pretty easy.
He then caught a glance of his…father…entering a room with the old man from before. He moved to follow…
XXX
"As long as Instrumentailty happens…" One of the new older men started, only to be cut off by…
"Oh ha ha ha. Ho he ha. A ha ha ho."
All turned to see Joker walking in, a deadpan look on his face.
"And I thought my jokes were bad. All becoming one? SOMEONES been reading too much transformers…."
"How did you get here?" One of the men asked. "We had over a dozen guards outside."
"Oh, those were yours?" The boy asked, smacking himself on the head. "Knew I should've gone for the whole group getting the best joke discount?"
He pointed out the door, and what he'd done made the men inside balk and gag.
Half the guard's throats had been torn out or had random small items in their heads. The others were smiling big, toothy, painful grins.
"Joker venom." The clown like boy explained, squeezing the flower on his out and letting out some gas. "My own little creation."
"You monstrous bastard!" One of the men shouted. "Some of them had families!"
"You know, no one ever complains when you kill a single person." Joker mused. "It's always the ones with families you get all the bitching for."
"Explain yourself, Ikari." The apparent leader commanded. "What is your son..?"
"I ain' t his son." Joker growled.
"Wacth your tone, boy." The leader growled. "We can hurt…"
Joker burst into laughter, slapping his knee.
"Oh, I always wanted to hear that! So you can hurt. Hurt? Who can you hurt? What can you do? In case it hasn't dawned on you….You have NOTHING to threaten me with!"
"Perhaps we're being hasty." Another man said. "Mr. Joker….perhaps we can pay you to aid in…"
"Nope."
…
"I'm sorry?"
"I'm a man of simple tastes." Joker explained. "Explosives, powders, gases…all cheap. Besides who'd want to be rich? Once you take something, you spend your whole life fight to keep it."
He then marched further into the room.
"You see, good gents, you have eaten well. You have taken this world's wealth and filled your stomaches and pockets. Well, I hope you enjoyed it; as of right now, none of you old croods are safe."
He reached behind his back…and pulled out a machine gun. "Cause this clown's packing HEAT!"
He then unleashed a spray of bullets on the SEELE members, laughing at their death throes for a full minute before leveling it at Gendo.
How did he get that in without us noticing? Was all Fuyutski could think about.
"Oh, what fun would that be?" Joker cooed, tossing the gun aside. "If I just up and killed you now, yeah I'd feel better…but no….no, you…daddy….need to suffer first."
Gendo remained defiant
"You'll find I am not so easily hurt, boy."
Joker's smile increased even more
"I love a challenge."
He then marched towards the door.
"You'll be living in the same district as the First child." Gendo shouted as he left. "And attending the same school. Section 2 agents will escourt you there."
An agent who ahd ducked under chair and survivied the bullets smirked
"With our luck, he'll shoot up the place and gets us in deeper shit."
….
Joker walked back into the room backwards swivelled to see the Agent who had said such words and, with great glare and no shortage of venom in his voice, growled:
"That's. Not. Funny."
Joker then grabbed the man by his tie before removing his glasses and jamming them into his throat, making the man choke on his own shades and blood.
The white skinned boy then walked out the door as if nothing happened, whistling all the way.
XXX
He made his way to the infirmary, determined to see the girl his….father…had deemed more important than him.
"Hi…" He smiled weakly. "You're um…you're looking better."
"..Is there something you wanted, Pilot Ikar.."
Rei felt the whole room darken
"…Joker?" She corrected herself.
The boy's mood returned to normal/
"Oh just wanted to say hi and ask why you doing this." Joker answered. "You know, small chat and all that shebang."
"It's all I have." Rei answered. "It is my bond. Besides, I don't fear death. I am replaceable."
At those words, a smile and devious idea filled Joker's head as he giggled
"You've never even acted like a human, how would you know?" He asked. "And defending these worthless dung-heaps?"
"The betterment and protection of humanity."
"Humanity?" Joker smirked. "Or the commander?"
"Commander Ikari is a great man."
"If by great you mean a coward and cheating bastard, then yeah, that sums him up perfectly."
Rei slapped he pale boy in anger.
"Oh spicy." Joker smirked as he rubbed his cheek and licked his lips. "I like that. Rei-baby, can I call you baby, babe? Let me tell you how you're missing the joke here…First of all, you're the First right? Numero uno…da champette, the big bad babe who'll sweep in and save the day….and for what?
"I mean, come on: Wars, plague, crime, famine…another season of Family Guy!"
"…Pardon?"
"Family Guy?" Joker asked, before shrugging it off. "At least in the Eva I don't have to pretend."
We don't have to pretend
"Lets be honest Rei…" Joker smiled. "There's got to be something you want."
"…warm water in my apartment." She thought aloud. :And for the commander to stop sleeping with Dr. Akagi…and for her to stop giving me medica….
"See?" Joker pointed. "You got it!"
Rei then did something out of the ordinary…she smiled
"That's what I like to see." Joker smiled back, softness in his tone. "A nice…big….smile."
XXX
The second angel came three days later, and it promptly died. What a shocker
"Can I keep the whips?" Joker asked. "I've been looking for a neew power source for my buzzers."
"No."
"Aw come on, doc…"
"No."
"Shinji!" Msiato said, appearing out of nowhere with a pained and anxious smile on her face. "So….how you been?"
"Bummed." Joker answered truthfully. "And it's Joker."
"Well…I got some bad news." Msiato said. "Turns out, Unit 02 and its pilot are coming on over and they have better scores than you…"
"And aren't as crazy?" Joker cut in. "Well, it's been fun. Thanks for letting me live out every boy's dream. Now I can get back to my old job…sharing the joys of laugher with all."
He smiled as he walked out the door, apparently never to return again.
NERV threw a party to celebrate not having to deal with the pyscho anymore. All were happy…but Rei.
In the brief time they'd spent, the two had grown…together. Not exactly close by any means, but having a neighbor your own age who explained the humor of life had shifted things considerably for the blue haired girl
She found some lipstick Dr. Akagi had dropped and used it to make a smile on her face. She then smiled back at her reflection as an idea fromed in her head and she made her way to the lab, no defenseless.
"Ha."
XXX
"YOU SENT HIM BACK THERE?!" Masataka Ikari roared at Gendo over the phone before cowering into the corner of his room the next day. "No, no, no, no! We need to go! MAX!"
"Hai, sensei?" a young, female voice said on the other line.
"PACK OUR BAGS! MY IDIOT SON-IN-LAW SENT SHINJI BACK HOME!"
Gendo didn't even need to be there to realize the fear that must have been in the room.
Then he saw why on the front page:
Five delinquents murdered. One was blown up via cigarette filled with nitroglycerin, another drank poisoned water, another had his neck snapped and what the police could find of the last one was found in a bloodied shark aquarium.
Gendo's phone rang.
"We need to talk." His father-in-law ordered. "Now."
They met for lunch at a café.
Masataka was a well built older man with a bald head and brown moustache. He towered over most and was accompanied by Max, a young American woman who was his aide de camp.
"Who were they?" Gendo asked.
"Five boys who may have somehow been involved with Shinji turning out as he has." The older man explained. "Before you ask, yes I have been keeping tabs on my grandson but no, I have no idea what exactly happened to him. Those five were the only ones."
"And why didn't I receive any word from my cousin?"
"You wouldn't have paid it any mind anyways." Fuyutski noted, making Masataka nod in agreement along with Max.
"Are you familiar with that…venom of his?" the one woman in the party asked.
"The one that forces people to smile?"
"Well….who do you think he tried it on first?" The older man asked.
It was then that Gendo finally realized….he'd done fucked up.
"Did you see anything odd?" Max asked. "Something he cared for? Didn't try to kil?"
"Aside from Rei, no."
"Who?"
"The first." Gendo explained, showing the albino's pcuture. Masataka smiled
"Good, good." He mused. "This is what I was talking about; whatever Shinji went through, it must have been terrible. But, there is hope! He can't harm anyone who reminds him of his mother."
"How do you know this?"
"Why do you think you're only learning about him now? Let me make this clear, Gendo." Masataka said. "I don't know what Yui saw in you. I hate your guts. And I admit, I didn't do enough for Shinji…but unlike you, I at least tried. I have been trying for the past year; covering up his tracks as much as I can, trying to talk him out of whatever he's doing….But I can't do it alone. If you truly love Yui, then I implore you….for her sake, if no other….find a way to save my grandson…the light of her life….your son."
Masataka then grabbed his coat and helped Max up.
"Shinji will return to NERV in a day or two. Once he realizes I'm back in his old home."
XXX
"I'M BACK, BITCHES!" Joker beamed at the top of his voice a few days later. "AND I BROUGHT PARTY FAVORS FOR EVERYONE!"
All of NERV shuddered. Harley and Quinn marked the hallways and followed their daddy on his way to cheer on Rei at her test.
"Not him…."
"Why can't Asuka be here already?" Misato groaned.
XXX
The Commander had not slept in days, trying to figure out an answer.
The problem?
Joker was GOOD at killing Angels. Very good.
And only Unit 01 responded to him.
And he was the only pilot readily available, with Rei recovering and Asuka in Germany.
This in turn and helped spark support for the Jet Alone project; man people were far more comfortable with a logically running computer fighting alien monsters for them over a psychopathic teenage boy. Gendo himself agreed with this….
But his scenario's success was the only thing that truly mattered to him.
Solution?
It came fairly quickly to him.
So, later that evening, he rented out an entire restaurant in an attempt to curb his son's destructive habits towards a better usage.
"I hope you realize, Third, the expenses I went through to arrange this."
Joker savored his steak and stole the wine bottle, downing some of it. Harley and Quinn were nearby, munching on scraps.
"There is a…situation…that hinders NERV's scenario." Gendo explained. "You have skills that are suited to take care of said situation."
Joker kept chewing.
"NERV needs to stay unrivalled, and the Jet-Alone project, if successful, will cause a shift in our power. We need you to make sure it fails. Is that within your abilities, Third?"
A cough escaped the pale skinned boy.
"Can I have some water?" Joker asked plainly.
Gendo signalled to the nearest agent to hand Joker a glass of water. The agent silently begged for the commander to reconsider, but the glare of the most feared man in the world made him buckle and he handed the psychopathic teenager a glass with a shaking hand.
Joker took the glass and looked at it, then the man who'd handed it to him, then the group as a whole. He hardened his face, brought his attention back to the glass, lifted it higher…
And drank it all in one gulp.
"Ah. That's good H2O." He smiled.
SMASH!
Joker then slashed an agent's throat with the glass before grabbing his gun and unloading it into the others, stopping right in front of Gendo.
"I'm a need…." Joker mused. "Something to wear. And a very large can of spray-paint."
"Very well." Gendo sighed, his form tight in fear and shock. "Anything else?"
"I'll need some guys."
"Not these guys, though. Kind of dead, you know what I'm saying?"
He grinned maniacally.
"HE HE HE HA HA HA!"
XXX
WHY SO SERIOUS?
Ritsuko and Misatio burst out laughing at the scene.
The robot that claimed to surpass Nerv was covered with those words all over it.
"I crack myself up!" Joker smiled from the sofa in his room and pulling out a book. "This is my new #1!"
And all it took was him in a skin tight stealth suit, a spray paint, randomly pushing buttons on consoles and his newest partner….
"It gets better." Rei said, pointing to the screen.
Jet Alone then came to life, performing disco moves as sound burst from its new speakers:
"Shake! Shake! Shake senora! Shake it all the time!"
"Oh, they're playing my song!" Joker clapped before remembering something. "I didn't do that."
He turned over to his roommate and techica; sister.
"Rei…."
"I recalled seeing the song being danced to humorously at some point. I thought it would add to the comedy." The blue haired girl explained.
Joker cringed and walked over to her, a look of ager on his face…only to smile and pat her on the head.
"Good girl." He smiled honestly. "But don't ever explain the joke again."
"Understood."
The phone then rang, and Joker smiled, knowing all too well what it meant.
"The lights are on and the gloves are off, it's robot fighting time!" He beamed.
XXX
A few days later, Rei found herself on a copter to the battle ship Over the Rainbow with Misato.
"Thank you for bringing me out on tjis excursion." She said
"I wish I could say I was just being nice." Misato smiled. "But the commander actually begged me to take you along; get you out of the city, see and meet interesting people…and get away from Shinji…"
"Joker."
"What?"
"His name is Joker." Rei reminded the Clonel.
Misato paid it no mind, focusing on the joy she'd feel seeing a familiar face soon enough. At least she could deal with this one.
A few minutes later, she smiled at said familiar face
"My Asuka, you've grown!" She smiled.
"Yeah and I'm not just taller, my figures filled out too!" The red head smirked.
"Rei, meet the designated pilot of Unit 02. The Second Child Asuka Langely Soryu."
The two pilots took a look at each other, before Asuka glanced around.
"Where is the famous Third?" she asked.
"Unfortuantely, Shinji…"
"Joker."
"…Couldn't make it."
Music suddenly burst through the air:
All hail!
The new king in town
Young and old, gather 'round (yeah)
Black and white, red and green (funky)
And from wherever the music came from, stepped out a young man in a purple suit, dancing to it cheerfully alongside two hyenas that struggled to keep up with him on the windy carrier. At his side was a paint-can and paint brush
The funkiest man
You've ever seen
Tell you what his name is
Partyman, partyman!
"Oh no…" Misato whimpered. Why? How? When?
"Who the hell is that?" Asuka asked.
"Joker." Rei explained. "The Third Child."
Rock a party like nobody can
Rules and regulations - no place in his nation
Partyman, partyman
(AN: I apologize if this too soon, I had this scene stuck in my head and it was meant to be a tribute to the 89 Batman movie)
Reaching the trio along with Harley and Quinn, both of whom looked about to toss their cookies, the pale skinned boy shut off his radio and tossed it to the side…right into the ocean.
"So a trip and I wasn't invited?" He asked. "It's because I'm white and have a dick, isn't it?"
"This…is the Third Child?" Asuka asked in shock.
Joker's eyes then buldged at the sight of…of…
Pure beauty. Waves of red, curvy figure, eyes you could drown in
What were these feelings? He felt so warm and fuzzy and….
Wait.
Feelings?
"Oh no." He realized. "It's coming back. The cruel reality. REI! MY SEDATVE!"
His sister handed him a mallet
"Now to take care of these pesky feelings."
BONK!
Joker fell flat to the ground, a big red imprint on his forehead, leaving all nwith shocked looks on his faces.
"I believe he likes you, pilot Soryu." Rei explained.
"…where were you keeping that mallet?" Misato asked.
Read and review, would ye kindly?
Should I continue? Please offer suggestions or adopt if you wish.