A.N.: This fic is just for me to vent in. In addition to being a continuation fic, this is a
Flame of Recca fusion, crosses over with Tenchi, Sailor Moon and Highlander, and has elements of
3x3 Eyes and the Playstation game 'Legend of Dragoon'. You know the genre of 'Ranma gets some new
powers' fics? I decided to take that to a bit of an extreme, and, well, see the title. No, no
Ranma in a fuku. Sorry, guys. BTW, as bad as Ranma's real father is, his mother is worse.
-----------------
"I REALLY like this timeline," said the silver-haired pseudo-god.
"You're insane," the cat flatly remarked.
"I know," he agreed cheerfully.
-----------------
Now This Is Just Plain Nuts,
By
Aleh
-----------------
Saotome Ranma sat on the roof of the Tendou Dojo. "Damnit," he thought, "I thought better of
Ucchan than that. Shampoo's actions I expected, and Kodachi..." He shuddered. "Still, though, who
would've thought that Akane would look THAT good in a wedding dress?" He sighed. "I guess I DO
love her..."
He was brought out of his musings by the sound of a ladder hitting the side of the roof.
"Hello, Akane," he said, sensing her ki.
"Hello, Ranma," she said as she finished climbing.
Ranma sighed. "Akane..."
She sat down next to him. "Yes, Ranma?"
It was as if a dam burst in Ranma's mind. "Don't you ever get tired of all this? The chaos,
the fiancee of the week club, the challenges, all of it?"
Akane sighed. "Yes, yes, I do. I just don't see any way to end it."
"Neither do I..." Ranma mused, then looked up. "Akane," he said seriously, "Can I ask you
something?"
"What?"
"How do you feel about me?" Ranma asked seriously.
Now it was Akane's turn to sigh. "I... I..." she muttered, "I... l... lo... lo...
likeyoualot." She hung her head at her inability to say the words. "Ranma?"
"Yes?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"I... I... l... lo... like you a lot, too, Akane." Ranma hung his head as well.
Akane, on the other hand, was ecstatic. "R... Really?" she asked hopefully.
"Really," Ranma confirmed.
"Oh, Ranma," Akane exclaimed, hugging him.
"A... Akane..." Ranma stammered out in confusion.
Their pseudo-romantic moment was interrupted by Ranma pushing Akane away from him just as a
dagger flew through where she would have been had she stayed still. Ranma quickly jumped to his
feet.
"Who's there?!?" he demanded.
A figure stepped out of his shadow. "Most impressive," she remarked.
"Who the hell are you?!?" he yelled.
"I am Kage Houshi," it stated calmly, "Now, show me your power!"
"You... tried... to hurt... Akane!" he said angrily.
"Yes," it replied.
"MOUKO TAKABISHA!!!!"
"Interesting," replied a somewhat singed Kage Houshi, "But not what I meant."
"KACCHU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!!"
Kage Houshi staggered back a few steps, quickly recovering. "You have the power to summon
flames through your hand, do you not?"
Ranma sweatdropped. "Nope."
The figure hit its face with its hand. "DAMN," she muttered, "I can't believe I forgot
about that..."
"What?" asked a curious Ranma.
"Oh bloody hell," it said, pulling a ward from... somewhere and throwing it at Ranma. When
it neard him, it suddenly changed course and zeroed in on his right arm, attaching itself to his
wrist. "Four hundred years of waiting and I forgot to do the entrance properly."
Akane recovered from her daze. "Wha... what are you talking about?"
The ward on Ranma suddenly burst into flame. Kage Houshi tossed him a tekkou. "Put this on,"
she said, "It will help you control your power."
"Why should I tr- GAAAHHH!" Ranma's arm burst into flame.
"That's why."
Ranma quickly put the tekkou on. His arm promptly went out. "Good reason."
-------------------
Silver Millenium...
Prince Ran of the Moon walked furiously down the corridors of the Moon palace, seething in
anger. "How DARE she?!?!" he thought, his eyes literally glowing with anger. Stomping into the
throne room (and incidentally leaving inch-deep tracks on the marble floor), he, in violation of
all protocol, raised his voice. "MOTHER!!!!" he yelled, adressing the queen, "WHAT IS THE MEANING
OF THIS?!?!"
Queen Serenity was shocked. "GAAHHH!!!!" she screamed, "MY SON IS POSESSED!!!!"
"I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!!!!"
"GAAAHHHH!!!! MY SON IS GLOWING!!!!"
"IT'S CALLED ANGER, MOTHER!!!!"
"GAAAAHHHH!!!! MY SON IS RUINING THE FLOOR!!!!"
Prince Ran looked down to see that the heat that he was generating had caused him to sink
into the marble tiling. "Oops," he said, scratching the back of his neck. Realizing what he was
doing, his aura suddenly flared back up. "DON'T TRY TO DISTRACT ME!!!!"
"What in the name of the Ginzuishou is the matter with you?!" she exclaimed.
"THIS," he yelled, pulling a paper out of his coat. Unfortunately, it quickly caught on fire
and burned up. "Oops," he said sheepishly, again scratching the back of his neck, "At least I
brought a spare."
With that, he pulled another paper out of his coat, being careful not to set this one
ablaze, and handed it to the nearest courtier, who rushed it to the queen.
"You KNOW what I think of arrainged marriages, Mother," Prince Ran yelled, "and Princess
Uranus! For crying out loud, just look at her relationship with Princess Neptune!"
"The betrothal is legal and binding," Queen Serenity replied, "and will be consummated when
you reach marriageable age in two years."
"Fine. You leave me no choice. Open contingency file #84734, password
'arraingedmarriagessuck'. That file contains my plans for something like this. You have two days
to reverse your decision before I implement them." With that, Ran stormed out.
-------------------
"I've finally found you... Recca."
"What are you talking about? My name is Saotome Ranma," Ranma replied.
"No, your birth name was Hokage Recca," Kage Houshi said, "And I am your mother."
"My mother is Saotome Nodoka!"
"No, you were found at the age of one... You were raised by them..."
"Oh, so you just..."
"Ranma," Akane interrupted, "This DOES explain some things..."
"You were sent through time... forward a four hundred years..."
"Bull," Ranma replied.
"Then explain your flame. It proves that you are a descendant of the Hokage Flame Masters."
"Your ward did that!"
"No, it merely released the power that I had sealed when you were just a babe..."
"Fine, prove it!"
"Okay," Kage Houshi replied, holding out a folder labeled 'DNA testing results'.
-------------------
From the journal of Prince Ran of the Moon
Contingency File #84734
While I trust my mother to not try something as blatantly stupid as arrainging a marriage
for myself or Sere-chan, I am, nonetheless, planning for such an event. I mean, given my stance
on arrainged marriages, (Historian's Note: Ran was famous throughout the kingdom for his often
violent protests of the institution. Well, that and a freak accident involving the Ginzuishou,
a bananna peel, gelatin, Princess Venus, and Princess Mars's private chambers which led to rumors
that Ran and Venus were secretly lovers, despite their VERY vocal protestations to the contrary)
she should know what my reaction would be. Maybe it's paranoia, maybe it's Crystal's insistance
that I should be prepared for ANYTHING, and maybe it's intuition, but I sat down and seriously
planned out what I'd do if something that were to come up.
It is fortunate that noone in the Kingdom other than myself and Crystal know the true nature
of the Ginzuishou (Ref. File #84730). As such, my ability to actually wield it confuses everyone;
after all, everyone 'knows' that only the females of the line of Serenity can use the Ginzuishou.
The truth of the matter is that Crystal does not approve of theft. Whenever someone NOT of the
line of Serenity has used it, it has resisted their efforts, sensing that they did not have the
right to do so. On the other hand, given Crystal's... err... attraction towards me, it does not
resist ME in the slightest.
In the event that Mother attempts something so blatantly stupid, I intend to take full
advantage of that fact to use the Ginzuishou to simply dissappear. I am well aware of my
invisibility to Pluto's timesight, and without it, they have no way to track me. Crystal will
send me... elsewhere, allowing me to live out my life in peace. Crystal plans to track me, and
will find me when I arrive... She is a good friend, and I sincerely hope that she does.
Contingency plans for an arranged marriage for Sere-chan are a bit more complex...
-------------------
Above the Tendou dojo, a loud scream rang out. If one listened closely, it sounded a lot
like a very angry "OYAJI!!!!". In his room, a panda sweated in fear.
-------------------
The next day...
At breakfast, Ranma dropped the bombshell. "Oyaji," Ranma said.
"Yes, boy?" Genma responded in his typical gruff manner.
"Why didn't you tell me that I was adopted?"
Genma sweated. "What are you talking about?" he asked innocently.
"Just these DNA test results," Ranma said, handing him the envelope.
Genma sweated some more. "I don't know anything about it!"
"Try another one, Oyaji. I don't believe you."
[I'm just a cute little panda,] read the sign that the suddenly-transformed martial artist
held.
"You DO know something," commented Nabiki.
"WAAAHHHH!!!!" cried Soun, "Now the schools will never be united!"
"You're not getting off that easily," said Ranma, pouring a cup of tea on him.
"Yes, Husband," said Nodoka, standing in the door, "Please tell me what this is about."
"Use this," said Kage Houshi, appearing from... somewhere... and holding a vial labled
'Truth Serum'.
-------------------
Sixteen Years Earlier...
"No-chan is going to kill me," thought Saotome Genma.
After having sold his son to a group of foreigners for a pickled plum, Genma attempted to
steal him back. Unfortunately, by the time he arrived, it was too late.
"Who would have thought that the Polynesian Purple People Eaters were a bunch of
CANNIBALS?!?" Genma mused.
-------------------
The present...
"You sold your son AS food?!?" Nabiki exclaimed while Akane was throwing up in the
background at the detailed and graphic description of what Genma had found and Nodoka was being
restrained by Kage Houshi.
"Yes," said Genma, struggling against the effects of the potion.
"Oh my," said a pale Kasumi.
"This clenches it," said Nabiki, "You are the WORST father in history."
"Actually," said Kage Houshi, "I once knew this guy who wrapped his son up in fish sausages
and repeatedly threw him into a pit of starving cats..."
"So did Genma," said Nabiki.
"Oh," Kage Houshi replied, "Nevermind."
"So where do I come in?" asked Ranma... err... Recca... err... whatever his name is.
"On my way home," droned Genma, "I was thinking of a suitable lie to tell my wife, when a
flash of white light appeared behind me. I turned and looked, and saw a small child wearing a
silk kimono with the name 'Recca' embroidered on it. The child looked so much like my son that I
simply took him home and passed him off as him."
Kage Houshi released the crying Nodoka, and snapped her fingers, breaking Genma's
chemically-induced trance.
"So, which name will you go by, Son?" asked Kage Houshi.
"Ranma," he replied, "I'm just used to it, I guess."
When Genma-panda returned later that day with a deep chest wound, noone questioned it.
-------------------
"So, tell us about yourself, Kage Houshi-san," said Kasumi.
"Well... my real name is Kagero."
"Okay, Kagero-san."
"Please, just Kagero."
"Okay, Kagero."
"Hmm... Where to start?"
-------------------
"So, Kagero-san," Akane asked at dinner, "What was Ranma's REAL father like?"
"Hmm..." she started, "He had this insatiable urge for battle... I think he got that from
his mother, along with the tail..."
"TAIL?!?" Ranma exclaimed.
"Yes," Kagero admitted, "She wasn't human. Something called a 'saiyajin'. I really don't
know much about them, except that they'd turn into giant monkeys when the moon was full. If you
cut off their tail they'd change back, though."
-------------------
From where she was listening in, Cologne almost started drooling.
-----------------
"Oh my," said Kasumi.
"Interesting," said Nabiki.
"..." said Ranma, in shock.
-----------------
Upon returning to the Nekohanten, Cologne sat and thought about what she had heard. Ranma
was quite a prize, even when she had thought that talent and his lust to be the best had been the
result of how he was raised. Now that she knew that they were, at least to some extent, genetic,
she mentally upgraded him from "prime breeding stock" to "we MUST get this boy's genes into the
tribe, child", and that was not even taking into account the chance to obtain the legendary power
of the Hokage flame masters.
Next Time:
The One True Mallet!
Flame of Recca fusion, crosses over with Tenchi, Sailor Moon and Highlander, and has elements of
3x3 Eyes and the Playstation game 'Legend of Dragoon'. You know the genre of 'Ranma gets some new
powers' fics? I decided to take that to a bit of an extreme, and, well, see the title. No, no
Ranma in a fuku. Sorry, guys. BTW, as bad as Ranma's real father is, his mother is worse.
-----------------
"I REALLY like this timeline," said the silver-haired pseudo-god.
"You're insane," the cat flatly remarked.
"I know," he agreed cheerfully.
-----------------
Now This Is Just Plain Nuts,
By
Aleh
-----------------
Saotome Ranma sat on the roof of the Tendou Dojo. "Damnit," he thought, "I thought better of
Ucchan than that. Shampoo's actions I expected, and Kodachi..." He shuddered. "Still, though, who
would've thought that Akane would look THAT good in a wedding dress?" He sighed. "I guess I DO
love her..."
He was brought out of his musings by the sound of a ladder hitting the side of the roof.
"Hello, Akane," he said, sensing her ki.
"Hello, Ranma," she said as she finished climbing.
Ranma sighed. "Akane..."
She sat down next to him. "Yes, Ranma?"
It was as if a dam burst in Ranma's mind. "Don't you ever get tired of all this? The chaos,
the fiancee of the week club, the challenges, all of it?"
Akane sighed. "Yes, yes, I do. I just don't see any way to end it."
"Neither do I..." Ranma mused, then looked up. "Akane," he said seriously, "Can I ask you
something?"
"What?"
"How do you feel about me?" Ranma asked seriously.
Now it was Akane's turn to sigh. "I... I..." she muttered, "I... l... lo... lo...
likeyoualot." She hung her head at her inability to say the words. "Ranma?"
"Yes?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"I... I... l... lo... like you a lot, too, Akane." Ranma hung his head as well.
Akane, on the other hand, was ecstatic. "R... Really?" she asked hopefully.
"Really," Ranma confirmed.
"Oh, Ranma," Akane exclaimed, hugging him.
"A... Akane..." Ranma stammered out in confusion.
Their pseudo-romantic moment was interrupted by Ranma pushing Akane away from him just as a
dagger flew through where she would have been had she stayed still. Ranma quickly jumped to his
feet.
"Who's there?!?" he demanded.
A figure stepped out of his shadow. "Most impressive," she remarked.
"Who the hell are you?!?" he yelled.
"I am Kage Houshi," it stated calmly, "Now, show me your power!"
"You... tried... to hurt... Akane!" he said angrily.
"Yes," it replied.
"MOUKO TAKABISHA!!!!"
"Interesting," replied a somewhat singed Kage Houshi, "But not what I meant."
"KACCHU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!!"
Kage Houshi staggered back a few steps, quickly recovering. "You have the power to summon
flames through your hand, do you not?"
Ranma sweatdropped. "Nope."
The figure hit its face with its hand. "DAMN," she muttered, "I can't believe I forgot
about that..."
"What?" asked a curious Ranma.
"Oh bloody hell," it said, pulling a ward from... somewhere and throwing it at Ranma. When
it neard him, it suddenly changed course and zeroed in on his right arm, attaching itself to his
wrist. "Four hundred years of waiting and I forgot to do the entrance properly."
Akane recovered from her daze. "Wha... what are you talking about?"
The ward on Ranma suddenly burst into flame. Kage Houshi tossed him a tekkou. "Put this on,"
she said, "It will help you control your power."
"Why should I tr- GAAAHHH!" Ranma's arm burst into flame.
"That's why."
Ranma quickly put the tekkou on. His arm promptly went out. "Good reason."
-------------------
Silver Millenium...
Prince Ran of the Moon walked furiously down the corridors of the Moon palace, seething in
anger. "How DARE she?!?!" he thought, his eyes literally glowing with anger. Stomping into the
throne room (and incidentally leaving inch-deep tracks on the marble floor), he, in violation of
all protocol, raised his voice. "MOTHER!!!!" he yelled, adressing the queen, "WHAT IS THE MEANING
OF THIS?!?!"
Queen Serenity was shocked. "GAAHHH!!!!" she screamed, "MY SON IS POSESSED!!!!"
"I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!!!!"
"GAAAHHHH!!!! MY SON IS GLOWING!!!!"
"IT'S CALLED ANGER, MOTHER!!!!"
"GAAAAHHHH!!!! MY SON IS RUINING THE FLOOR!!!!"
Prince Ran looked down to see that the heat that he was generating had caused him to sink
into the marble tiling. "Oops," he said, scratching the back of his neck. Realizing what he was
doing, his aura suddenly flared back up. "DON'T TRY TO DISTRACT ME!!!!"
"What in the name of the Ginzuishou is the matter with you?!" she exclaimed.
"THIS," he yelled, pulling a paper out of his coat. Unfortunately, it quickly caught on fire
and burned up. "Oops," he said sheepishly, again scratching the back of his neck, "At least I
brought a spare."
With that, he pulled another paper out of his coat, being careful not to set this one
ablaze, and handed it to the nearest courtier, who rushed it to the queen.
"You KNOW what I think of arrainged marriages, Mother," Prince Ran yelled, "and Princess
Uranus! For crying out loud, just look at her relationship with Princess Neptune!"
"The betrothal is legal and binding," Queen Serenity replied, "and will be consummated when
you reach marriageable age in two years."
"Fine. You leave me no choice. Open contingency file #84734, password
'arraingedmarriagessuck'. That file contains my plans for something like this. You have two days
to reverse your decision before I implement them." With that, Ran stormed out.
-------------------
"I've finally found you... Recca."
"What are you talking about? My name is Saotome Ranma," Ranma replied.
"No, your birth name was Hokage Recca," Kage Houshi said, "And I am your mother."
"My mother is Saotome Nodoka!"
"No, you were found at the age of one... You were raised by them..."
"Oh, so you just..."
"Ranma," Akane interrupted, "This DOES explain some things..."
"You were sent through time... forward a four hundred years..."
"Bull," Ranma replied.
"Then explain your flame. It proves that you are a descendant of the Hokage Flame Masters."
"Your ward did that!"
"No, it merely released the power that I had sealed when you were just a babe..."
"Fine, prove it!"
"Okay," Kage Houshi replied, holding out a folder labeled 'DNA testing results'.
-------------------
From the journal of Prince Ran of the Moon
Contingency File #84734
While I trust my mother to not try something as blatantly stupid as arrainging a marriage
for myself or Sere-chan, I am, nonetheless, planning for such an event. I mean, given my stance
on arrainged marriages, (Historian's Note: Ran was famous throughout the kingdom for his often
violent protests of the institution. Well, that and a freak accident involving the Ginzuishou,
a bananna peel, gelatin, Princess Venus, and Princess Mars's private chambers which led to rumors
that Ran and Venus were secretly lovers, despite their VERY vocal protestations to the contrary)
she should know what my reaction would be. Maybe it's paranoia, maybe it's Crystal's insistance
that I should be prepared for ANYTHING, and maybe it's intuition, but I sat down and seriously
planned out what I'd do if something that were to come up.
It is fortunate that noone in the Kingdom other than myself and Crystal know the true nature
of the Ginzuishou (Ref. File #84730). As such, my ability to actually wield it confuses everyone;
after all, everyone 'knows' that only the females of the line of Serenity can use the Ginzuishou.
The truth of the matter is that Crystal does not approve of theft. Whenever someone NOT of the
line of Serenity has used it, it has resisted their efforts, sensing that they did not have the
right to do so. On the other hand, given Crystal's... err... attraction towards me, it does not
resist ME in the slightest.
In the event that Mother attempts something so blatantly stupid, I intend to take full
advantage of that fact to use the Ginzuishou to simply dissappear. I am well aware of my
invisibility to Pluto's timesight, and without it, they have no way to track me. Crystal will
send me... elsewhere, allowing me to live out my life in peace. Crystal plans to track me, and
will find me when I arrive... She is a good friend, and I sincerely hope that she does.
Contingency plans for an arranged marriage for Sere-chan are a bit more complex...
-------------------
Above the Tendou dojo, a loud scream rang out. If one listened closely, it sounded a lot
like a very angry "OYAJI!!!!". In his room, a panda sweated in fear.
-------------------
The next day...
At breakfast, Ranma dropped the bombshell. "Oyaji," Ranma said.
"Yes, boy?" Genma responded in his typical gruff manner.
"Why didn't you tell me that I was adopted?"
Genma sweated. "What are you talking about?" he asked innocently.
"Just these DNA test results," Ranma said, handing him the envelope.
Genma sweated some more. "I don't know anything about it!"
"Try another one, Oyaji. I don't believe you."
[I'm just a cute little panda,] read the sign that the suddenly-transformed martial artist
held.
"You DO know something," commented Nabiki.
"WAAAHHHH!!!!" cried Soun, "Now the schools will never be united!"
"You're not getting off that easily," said Ranma, pouring a cup of tea on him.
"Yes, Husband," said Nodoka, standing in the door, "Please tell me what this is about."
"Use this," said Kage Houshi, appearing from... somewhere... and holding a vial labled
'Truth Serum'.
-------------------
Sixteen Years Earlier...
"No-chan is going to kill me," thought Saotome Genma.
After having sold his son to a group of foreigners for a pickled plum, Genma attempted to
steal him back. Unfortunately, by the time he arrived, it was too late.
"Who would have thought that the Polynesian Purple People Eaters were a bunch of
CANNIBALS?!?" Genma mused.
-------------------
The present...
"You sold your son AS food?!?" Nabiki exclaimed while Akane was throwing up in the
background at the detailed and graphic description of what Genma had found and Nodoka was being
restrained by Kage Houshi.
"Yes," said Genma, struggling against the effects of the potion.
"Oh my," said a pale Kasumi.
"This clenches it," said Nabiki, "You are the WORST father in history."
"Actually," said Kage Houshi, "I once knew this guy who wrapped his son up in fish sausages
and repeatedly threw him into a pit of starving cats..."
"So did Genma," said Nabiki.
"Oh," Kage Houshi replied, "Nevermind."
"So where do I come in?" asked Ranma... err... Recca... err... whatever his name is.
"On my way home," droned Genma, "I was thinking of a suitable lie to tell my wife, when a
flash of white light appeared behind me. I turned and looked, and saw a small child wearing a
silk kimono with the name 'Recca' embroidered on it. The child looked so much like my son that I
simply took him home and passed him off as him."
Kage Houshi released the crying Nodoka, and snapped her fingers, breaking Genma's
chemically-induced trance.
"So, which name will you go by, Son?" asked Kage Houshi.
"Ranma," he replied, "I'm just used to it, I guess."
When Genma-panda returned later that day with a deep chest wound, noone questioned it.
-------------------
"So, tell us about yourself, Kage Houshi-san," said Kasumi.
"Well... my real name is Kagero."
"Okay, Kagero-san."
"Please, just Kagero."
"Okay, Kagero."
"Hmm... Where to start?"
-------------------
"So, Kagero-san," Akane asked at dinner, "What was Ranma's REAL father like?"
"Hmm..." she started, "He had this insatiable urge for battle... I think he got that from
his mother, along with the tail..."
"TAIL?!?" Ranma exclaimed.
"Yes," Kagero admitted, "She wasn't human. Something called a 'saiyajin'. I really don't
know much about them, except that they'd turn into giant monkeys when the moon was full. If you
cut off their tail they'd change back, though."
-------------------
From where she was listening in, Cologne almost started drooling.
-----------------
"Oh my," said Kasumi.
"Interesting," said Nabiki.
"..." said Ranma, in shock.
-----------------
Upon returning to the Nekohanten, Cologne sat and thought about what she had heard. Ranma
was quite a prize, even when she had thought that talent and his lust to be the best had been the
result of how he was raised. Now that she knew that they were, at least to some extent, genetic,
she mentally upgraded him from "prime breeding stock" to "we MUST get this boy's genes into the
tribe, child", and that was not even taking into account the chance to obtain the legendary power
of the Hokage flame masters.
Next Time:
The One True Mallet!