Making it to the movies (a.k.a how to become a porn star) by Rock Junkie and DikiCat

A/N: first story, no flames, R&R. Our beta is RockJunkie's father kill him if there are any mistakes.

Disclaimer: we don't own shit, just our crazy imagination and twisted sense of humor. All rights belong to JKR, but if they were ours, well let's just say you wouldn't want to know what will happen to them and the characters. Muahahahaaa!!! Evil grins.

'Thoughts'

"Talk"

"Acting"

Chapter 1: chh….chh…changes... changes!

"Get him!"

Harry quickly ran away from his bullying cousin and his gang. Once again when summer came, Dudley and his gang had fancied another game of 'Harry-hunting'. Luckily for him, his quiddich skills gave him exceptional stealth and speed. By the time the gang behind him turned the corner, he was already gone.

"Where did he go?"

"I think he went that-a-way!"

Harry sighed in relief as he heard the gang run past the store. He looked around the store that he had taken shelter in; it was a woman's clothing store as well as a beauty shop.

"Hello young lady what can I help you with?" one of the sales women spoke.

Harry looked around trying to see who she was talking to when he remembered that now that he had longer hair (he decided not to cut it), he looked more like a girl then a boy, but he still decided to correct her.

"I'm a boy".

"Oh sorry dear, is there anything I can help you with?"

Harry looked around. He was about to say no, when a very beautiful piece of clothing caught his eye.

"Just looking" He said.

The lady looked at him strangely, but didn't say anything. She walked away.

Harry walked to the clothes rack and looked at the skirt that caught his eye, it was made out of red leather with black markings on the bottom, for some reason they reminded Harry of runes, near the skirt was also hanging a matching shirt, it was long sleeved and made out of black silk, or at least appeared that way, a matching red leather jacket was attached to it. The outfit was clearly made for a girl but Harry couldn't help but think that it would look great on him.

Great, I really have turned crazy if I'm thinking about wearing women's clothing...

Harry was about to turn to leave the store, when it seemed to him as though the outfit called to him.

Why not? It's not like it's going to hurt.

He grabbed the outfit quickly so the other women couldn't spot him, and almost ran into the changing room, that was surprisingly empty.

After he put all the clothes on, and put his hair in a ponytail so it wouldn't get in the way (it goes all the way down to his upper back), he took a glance at the mirror, and stared.

WOW, I look hot!

He stood staring a bit more, and an amazing thought came to him;

Hmm, I don't even look like myself anymore… I can even fool Dudley into thinking that I was just some bird. He's probably stupid enough to even come on to me. Of course, he's never even seen a girl in his life, so that will be even easier. Maybe if I stay this way all summer, my dear uncle and aunt will think that I've turned into a girl in some freaky magic way... Magic... I can fool the order! They won't go looking for a girl…

And like that, Harry made his decision. Quickly grabbing several other clothes to try on, as well as several pairs of shoes, (and thanking Merlin that he remembered to change some of his galleons to Muggle pounds) he made his way to the beauty salon in the other side of the shop, still dressed in the first outfit he tried on. It was much easier for the hairdresser to give him the final touches.

"May I say, young lady, that you look quite smashing?"

"Umm… thank you?"

The hairdresser winked at him "now don't you go 'round thinkin' that you don't look great, 'cause honey, you look more than that".

Harry didn't want to blush, it just happened!

Several other women there nodded their heads in agreement, causing Harry to blush even more.

"Don't forget to come back here every once in awhile to get your now free beauty care, you desirable thing! You're the most successful project I've ever had! Not that I had to do much, you have natural beauty! "

Harry decided that he had enough of blushing, and winked instead. Unfortunately he blushed again when the hairdresser gave him a sexy grin.

"You know what darling? I have the most amazing idea! How about putting some stripes in your hair! Oh, and contacts as well! I mean you have the most amazing shade of eyes, why hide them behind those awful glasses? You can even change their color to something unique! Like… deep purple! That would definitely work!

There's an optical shop across the street, why don't you go get it done while I get everything ready for you? And not just dye, but make up as well. I mean with your shade of skin, you HAVE to know the right products to use."

Harry felt that there is no arguing with her. Besides, the more changes, the better. And, she was right. He would look even better at the end.

When Harry got back from the optician, he noticed that there were more women at the shop both old and young as well as a relatively hot guy, who looked like he was in his thirties, Harry ignored them and went to Lucy (the hairdresser told him her name before he left) to get his finish. After around half an hour full of teasing and blushing from both Harry and Lucy, Harry got up and was about to leave the shop when the man accosted him.

"Hey mind if I have a word with you?"

"What is it?" Harry asked curious.

"Well I am a movie director and I think you will look perfect in my movie"

Harry couldn't help but stare, did he really say that?

"Yeah, here's my card" he took a card from his pocket and gave it to Harry.

He chocked when he stared at the card, no way… no fucking way! It just wasn't possible, a thing like that can only happen to me!!

"The 'rising sun'? Don't they make..?"

"Porn movies? Got that in one."

"But…" Harry started

"I think you will look excellent and if you are worried about preserving your image its okay nobody looks into those kinds of things anymore, a pretty girl like you shouldn't worry about it"

"Still there is one problem" Harry was cut off again.

"What? you don't think that your parents will agree, that's okay I can convince them to let you play"

"No that's not it..." Harry started "my parents are dead"

"Oh" the director, Jonathan Keller the card said, flattered a bit but then quickly continued "I can make your guardians agree, trust me."

"No it's not that"

"Then what"

"I'm not a girl"

Jonathan stared at him "what do you mean?"

Harry growled and grabbed Jonathan's hand bringing it to rest on his crotch. The old ladies at the store, he noticed, looked at him shocked but he ignored them.

"Now you know what I mean?" he said to the shocked man with a grin.

Jonathan however turned out to be a bit different from what Harry thought.

"That's even better" he exclaimed.

"Huh!?!?" Harry stared at the man.

"You see our firm also makes gay movies and you will still be perfect to play in one of them"

Harry frowned. He honestly didn't mind playing in such a movie and said as much to Jonathan.

"Excellent, why don't I buy you lunch and we can talk about the details"

After the lunch with Jonathan, which was not only tasty but rather enjoyable, Harry made his way back to the Dursley's. Taking the long way there, he took his time to think about all that happened to him today.

Whah, what a day... from being chased by Dudley to becoming a cross dressing porn star... not to mention a free meal with a hunk…I wonder what Vernon will think of my new look. Probably try and cheat on his wife with me or something... I swear he's just as stupid as his son. I can't wait till I turn 17 and I can get out of there... get a place of my own and--

Oomph.

Harry suddenly bumped into something head on. He took a step back, bringing a hand to his nose to rub it; he looked forward to see what he collided into.

It was a man.

A very familiar man.

Oh my god! Harry thought. He was shocked.

The man was Severus Snape.

"Watch where you're going, young lady!" Snape scowled at him, straightening his attire, which didn't look like robes at all. He was wearing a black, tight T-shirt with "Come over to the dark side... we've got cookies!" printed over it, black jeans and old fashioned black buckled shoes. His hair was not greasy, but looked well kept.

It was so weird seeing Snape in Muggle clothes!

Harry quickly got back to his senses.

"Well so-rry your highness!" He said, trying not to sound shocked or scared.

Snape suddenly grabbed Harry's arm painfully, bringing him closer, face to face.

"Watch your language, you insolent little girl!" Snape looked annoyed and tired. He kept shifting his eyes from side to side, as though looking for something, or someone.

"Well, with all do respect sir, FUCK YOU!" Harry wedged his arm away from a shocked Snape's grip, and walked away fiercely and quickly, with a huff.

He heard Snape mumble something about insufferable muggle brats but he kept on walking.

When he turned a corner to a different street, he stopped and leaned against a nearby wall. Oh my god!! I just... I just cursed professor Snape! PROFESSOR SNAPE! And he didn't even recognize me! What the hell is he doing here anyway?

Harry laughed mentally at the very good attempt Snape gave at muggle clothing.

And what is it with his shirt??? Hmm, shame I didn't have a camera he looked hot, I did not just think that on Snape of all people.

By the time Harry got to number 4, Privet Drive, the sun had set and it was dark. All the street lamps were on. He tried to go in from the front door, but it was locked. So, he went to the back. Sliding the glass door to the kitchen open, he quietly stepped inside and headed to the living room, where the stairs to the 2nd floor were.

Unfortunately, the room was not empty.

"Who's there?"

Harry froze. Great, this is exactly what he needed; Dudley. Oh well, he thought, I'm going to have to show them the new me sooner or later.

He stepped into the light of the living room, slowly and with his hands up, as to not make his cousin think he was a burglar.

"Relax Dudley, It's only me."

"Huh? Who-ho a-are you-u?" Dudley was standing near the couch in the middle of the living room, holding a pillow loosely in his left hand beside his body, clearly thinking of using it as a weapon, his right hand holding a telephone receiver.

His face was red and sweaty, his expression shocked but mesmerized, like he just got his eyes and using them for the first time; his mouth practically touching the floor.

"WOW… "He breathed, his face getting redder and redder, "You're... You're HOT..."

It was all Harry could do not to fall to the floor laughing.

I fucking knew it! He doesn't even know who I am! Incredible!

Harry let out a little chuckle, winked, and moved closer to Dudley.

"Why thank you, Dudykins… But you see-"

He put a hand on Dudley's cheek, and Dudley gave a little small whimper. Pathetic!

"-I don't think that-"

He moved his face closer to Dudley's. They were nose to nose.

"-I'm quite what you're looking for."

Harry brought a hand up to his forehead, and moved his bangs to the side of his face.

"POTTER!!"

---TBC—

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Rock Junkie: Hey, if we get more then five reviews each time, for every episode, we might consider updating less then once a week! Still evil!

DikiCat: who is 'we'? Don't you mean you? You're the one that holds the reviews and is evil…

Rock Junkie: HEY, I'm not that bad …. Yeah I am.

DikiCat: told ya so!