Lucifer didn't see anyone for a good two days after leaving Heaven. He ignored calls from both his brother and the detective. He couldn't talk to either of him. He just needed to be alone, so he could think. A lot had been thrown at him. He was extremely overwhelmed. Most of what he'd believed about this father, and even himself, had been upended. Both of them had been manipulated by Michael. He didn't know what they were supposed to do from here, only that there was now a possibility of them repairing their relationship.
Then there was what his father had said regarding the detective. Lucifer had tried so hard to forget about that, and a part of him resented his father for drudging it up now, but he could also see his point. Obviously, he'd never truly dealt with it, or it wouldn't be so painful to think about, and he wouldn't be so afraid to take the next step with detective because of it. He realized that he truly couldn't move on with her until he dealt with it.
As if on cue, the elevator dinged. Lucifer turned from where he was sitting at the bar to see the detective walking in. "Hello, Detective."
"Hey. Um, I've been calling you for the last couple of days," Chloe said.
"I know. I couldn't talk to you," Lucifer said as he took a sip of his whiskey.
That hurt Chloe to hear, but she understood. "Right. I know that night with your father was really hard for you. I just wanted to know if you were okay."
"I don't know. Things are strange now," Lucifer said.
Chloe nodded. "Do you think we can talk now? If you're not ready, I get it. I'll leave."
"No. We may as well do this now. I doubt it will get any better," Lucifer said before standing up and leading the way to the couch.
Chloe followed him and sat down next to him. "I…I know it's probably not just what Michael did that you've been thinking about the last couple of days. You've also been thinking about the things your father mentioned about me, right?"
Lucifer nodded, not trusting his words at the moment.
Chloe sighed. She'd been doing a lot of thinking since that night too. She'd taken a really good look at her own actions. It was really no wonder that God hated her. She'd harmed his son. She tried to kill him. She'd never called it attempted murder before, but hearing the term from God himself put things into perspective. That was what she did. She was a cop, and she tried to murder someone. And it wasn't just some random person, it was her partner, her friend. "What your father said was true, wasn't it? What I did is the reason you can't tell me you love me?"
"I think so," Lucifer said quietly.
His words were a blow, but not an unexpected one, and Chloe knew it was her own fault. She thought Lucifer had forgiven her, but the truth was that the two of them hadn't really dealt with it. They merely tried to forget it. Lucifer didn't seem to want to discuss it after he made the decision to come back to the precinct, and she had been fine with that. She didn't particularly want to dwell on the worst choice she'd even made. "I'm sorry, Lucifer. I'm not sure if I've ever even said that. I think I've expressed my regret, but I also know I've blamed others. Even when your father brought it up, I blamed Kinley. I've done nothing but think about it for days, and I realize now that Kinley is not responsible for my choices. I've always realized that somewhere, but it was easier to blame someone else. It was easier to deal with the guilt."
"Yes, well, you're not alone. I did the same. I blamed the bloody priest too, but it was your fault," Lucifer said. He wasn't able to mince words for her feelings, and he couldn't' deny her culpability either.
Chloe nodded. It hurt to hear him say it, but he was right to blame her. "It was. I can claim that I was manipulated, and to a point I was, but it was my choice to allow the manipulation. It's not like Kinley had some enhanced power of persuasion, like Michael did when he manipulated you. I let him convince me that everything I knew about you was a lie. I should've known better. I did eventually realize that I did when I returned, but that doesn't make up for what I did."
"Y…you hurt me so badly, Detective. I don't even think it hurt that badly when I was sent to Hell," Lucifer said in a broken tone.
Tears started to stream down Chloe's face as guilt started to seep in further. She hated herself for what she did to Lucifer. She wished to God she could take it back, and she could only be grateful that she failed the first night she tried to give him that sedative. "There's nothing I can say that could make you understand how sorry I am. Not that that would make a difference. I swear, I will never hurt you like that again."
"I…I don't think I can believe that right now," Lucifer said. He'd discovered that that was why he couldn't completely let his guard down with her. He was afraid she'd break his heart again.
Chloe cried harder, because she was beginning to understand what he was telling her. "Are things over between us?"
"I don't want that," Lucifer said. He meant it when he told his father he didn't want to leave her. He loved her. He didn't want to imagine life without her. However, he didn't think he could be with at this point. It wouldn't do him any good. "But I think we got together too soon and too fast. I can't believe I'm saying that, of all people, but I think it's true."
"So, you want to slow down then? Go back to friendship and see what happens?" Chloe asked. It still saddened her, but it was better than him telling her they were completely done, and she knew she deserved it anyway.
"Yes. I think that would be for the best," Lucifer said. It hurt to say, but he did think it was best.
"Okay. Will still be my partner?"
"Of course. I never want to stop being that," Lucifer said immediately.
"Alright. We'll do this at your pace. I should leave you alone," Chloe said before standing up.
"I'm sorry, Detective," Lucifer said. He didn't know why he said that. He shouldn't be sorry, but he hated seeing her in pain.
"Don't be sorry. This is not on you. It is on me, and I will do everything in my power to make things right between us," Chloe said firmly before heading for the elevator. She didn't know if things between them would ever be fully healed, but she was going to do her best. She would fight for Lucifer with everything she had.
A/N: This is the end of this one. I may do a sequel in the future, but I'm not sure yet.