Title: Soul Searching.
Disclaimer: I do not own The X-Files or any of the characters. I am just an avid fan that wants the show to live on by any means necessary and was really inspired after seeing the movie three times already since it came out on Friday. Please do not sue me I am broke.
Keywords: MSR, DRR, Friendship, Mulder/Scully Skinner Friendship. This is a WIP
Spoilers: Entire series, FTF and IWTB
Summary: Mulder gets asked to come back to the FBI, and his first case back involves a doctor working closely with Scully. Story had major Scully angst. Some old friends come back to help, and some old enemies make some appearances. MSR, DDR. This story was originally posted as a WIP last summer. I made a few monor cahnges and have fixed some errors and am reposting from chapter one. Hope all my fans are still around! Please read and review! :)
(P.S looking for a beta reader)
He aimlessly flipped through the channels. Not really searching for anything to watch just something to pass the time as he waited for her to get home. He thought about the past few days. Father Joe. Dakota Whitney. Monica Banner. Scully saving his ass yet again. Seeing Skinner again. His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a car approaching.
He got up from the couch and walked over to the windows looking out on to the front yard and the winding driveway. He could tell from the way she pushed open the gate that she was exhausted. She trudged tiredly back to the car got in and drove it through the gate where she got out and closed the gate behind her before returning to the car and driving the remaining feet to the drive way. She was still wearing the blue scrubs. Another indication to her exhaustion. Rarely would she leave the hospital still donning them.
He grabbed his leather jacket, slipped it on and opened the door and walked down the steps to meet her. Her hair was falling out of the ponytail and errant strands framed her face. He waited on the ground just where the steps ended. She slowly walked towards him.
"Hey" she said softly. Eyes downcast. He put two of his fingers under her chin and gently pushed it up. Forcing her eyes to meet his. He looked at her with concern. "Rough day?" he asked.
She nodded. He moved his hand from her face and opened his arms. She walked into his embrace burrowing into his chest. Feeling his warmth. it was awful" she said. "All day This was all I could think about. How good it would feel to be in your arms" He wrapped his arms around her pulling her close.
"I am so glad to be home." she said with a slight tremble in her voice. She shivered and he held her tighter.
"Where is your coat?" he asked.
"I guess I left it at the hospital." She said with a sigh. "I just really needed to get out of there."
He could hear that she was on the verge of tears. Though, it would have been unnoticeable to anyone else. "Lets get you inside where its warm."
"Actually I want to stay out here for a bit. Watch the sunset. It feels good to be outside after being cooped up in the hospital all day."
"Ok." He said. "i'll stay here with you." He pulled back away slightly slipping his jacket off and wrapping it around her. He led her up the steps. To the right of the door was a porch swing. He sat down. Reaching for her hand he pulled her down to sit next to him. He slipped an arm around her shoulders.
She looked down at her hands. "Talk to me Scully." he prodded. "Tell me what's wrong"
She let out a long sigh. "I should have called off the procedure. I should have known I couldn't save him. Let him go in peace."
Damn. Her patient. Christian. "Christian died?" he asked softly.
"yeah" she said. "The procedure went well, or at least it appeared to. He came out of surgery fine. He woke up in the recovery room. His vitals were good. I thought it was a good sign. No one else in the clinical trials made it through the second procedure. I was paged to the ER for an incoming trauma. I told his parents I would be back to check on him as soon as he was brought back to his room. I rushed down to ER. The paramedics were bringing in a 15 year old girl that was struck by a drunk driver. I worked on her for almost an hour, she was brain dead. I could not save her. I went and told her parents and as I was walking away, I got the page. Code blue room 315A. Christian's room. I hurried up there. He was in full cardiac arrest. I started CPR. Yelled orders for the nurses to administer meds. But it was no use. He was gone." A single tear made its way down the right side of her face.
"oh Scully" he said. "I am so sorry." He pulled her closer. Pulling her into his lap sideways. Holding her against his chest. "it's not your fault" He said. One hand buried in her hair the other rubbing circles on her back.
"His parents said that too. They thanked me and said I was the best doctor he had. Mulder how could I have done that? I put him through hell. I was so sure I could save him. Everyone else had given up on him."
"But you did not. You are an amazing doctor. You care tremendously about your had no way of knowing the complication would arise." She shivered against him. "Ok, now we go in" he said "lets move to couch. I'll get a fire going, make you some hot chocolate." She got up off his lap. Eyes downcast again. She looked so lost. So sad. He got up and grabbing her hand they walked into the house together. Mulder closed and locked the door behind them.
She let go of his hand and slid his jacket off, she turned and hung it up on the rack next to the door.
"Scully, come here" he said. She moved back towards him. He pulled her into a tight embrace. Her face pressed into his chest. He put his face down into her hair.
She pulled back slightly, she said "Don't I smell like the OR still"
He pulled her too him again. "I don't smell anything" She closed her eyes and drew in his comfort. God how she loved this man.
He pulled back and brought his hands up to her face. He put palm on either side of her face. He kissed her forehead, and then kissed her softly on the lips. "Why don't you go take a shower. Put on something cozy. Iíll get a fire going in the fireplace, get you that hot chocolate and then we will think about dinner and I will hold you in my arms all night. Sound good?" he asked looking into her eyes.
"It sounds perfect." She said with a smile.
He leaned in and kissed her again. "Now you go and I will bring you a warm towel from the dryer."
She raised her eyebrow. "you did laundry Mulder?" surprise evident in her voice.
"I can be domestic, you know" he said with a pout.
She smiled at him. "I love you." she said.
He pulled her to him again. Kissing her a little longer this time. "and I love you. Now, you go" he said pointing to the stairs.
She pulled away from him and slowly climbed the stairs. He watched her go. He hated seeing her so sad. When she got to the top he followed her with his eyes until she disappeared in their bedroom. He turned and walked toward the kitchen, where off to one side there was a laundry room. He walked to the dryer and opened it pulling out a fluffy warm towel.
He walked back towards the living room and up the stairs. Turned into their bedroom and leaned against the door frame watching her pick through the drawer containing her pajamas. She turned sensing him there. He reached out handing her the towel. She smiled and said "thank you. I wont be long."
He reached out and pulled the elastic from her hair letting it spring free. "take your time. Relax" he said softly. "Im going to start that fire."
"ok" she whispered, and turned into the bathroom. He heard the water turn on.
He walked back down the stairs. He knelt in front of the fireplace and lit it. He had become pretty good at getting the fireplace going fast. Considering he had made all the preparations hours before and it just needed lighting. He got up and walked to the couch. Sitting down he reached for the remote flipping through the channels again restlessly.
She closed her eyes as the warm water ran over her back relaxing her instantly. She had taken longer then she had intended. But it was just so relaxing. She turned off the taps. Reached for her towel on the towel rack wrapped it around herself. She looked at herself in the mirror. The stress of the last few days evident on her face. She toweled dried her hair and pulled it up into a loose ponytail. Changed into the pajamas she had chosen. She padded out of the bathroom through the bedroom and down the stairs.
Mulder was laying on the couch watching some star trek re run and there was a fire in the fireplace just like he had promised. She walked over to the couch and looked down at him. He met her eyes and reached out a hand to her. She took it and he pulled her down to the couch. She laid down next to him snuggling into his warmth and resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her kissing the top of her head. "feeling better?" he asked. He knew she was holding back her tears still. Knew that eventually they would spill out, but until then he would wait and comfort her when that time came.
"yeah, I do." She held him tighter and said "hold me and don't let go"
He drew her nearer to him. Reached up and pulled the blanket down that was laying on the top of the coach. He wrapped the blanket around both of them and said "Scully, I will never let go" he said softly.
She held onto the front of his soft grey t-shirt and closed her eyes. He pressed the button on the remote turning the tv off and the room was bathed in flickering light from the fire.
"Mulder, you don't have to turn it off." she said softly. "It does not bother me"
His hand was rubbing circles on her back. "I was not really watching it. Are you hungry?" he asked
"yeah, but I don't wanna move right now." she moved her head up and kissed the underside of his chin. She stroked the side of his face with her hand and said "no more scratchy beard"
"Nah" he said. "I was just trying it out. Not really my thing. I wanted to see if it made me look distinguished."
"I like being able to see your face. The beard always made you look dark and sad. I can see your smile again. When you smile it makes me feel happy."
He turned his face and kissed the palm of her hand. He reached up with his free hand and took the hand on his face. He wrapped his hand around hers and rested their joined hands on his chest.
Her eyes drifted close again. He felt her breathing even out and knew she had fallen asleep. He pulled the blanket up around them both. Leaned his head back and closed his eyes too.
An hour passed with them both laying like that. From the direction of the coffee table came a shrill ring. Scully groaned and lifted her head from his chest. "Mulder" she mumbled "your phone is ringing"
He sat up pulling her up with him. She got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen..
"Hello" he said answering his phone.
"Mulder?" Skinner's voice came over the line. It was a surprise to hear his voice.
"Skinner?" He asked confusion evident in his voice.
"How are you Mulder?" he asked.
"Im good, how are you?" he answered.
"I've been better, dealing with the aftermath of the Monica Banner situation, listen I really need to see you."
"You need to see me? " he asked
"Yes" he replied " Tomorrow morning. I can get to you by about 11. Is that ok?"
Mulder was instantly curious. "11 is good. What is this concerning?"
"Mulder, I don't have time to get into it now, I'll explain everything in the morning. No need to worry though, I guess you can say this a good thing. A very good thing. I have to go, I'll see you in the morning." and without another word Skinner ended the call.
Mulder sat back on the couch thinking what he could need to discuss with him.
Scully was standing leaning against a cabinet in the kitchen. Holding a glass of water in her hands. She sorted through a pile of mail on the counter. Under a magazine she spied a book. A few days ago while talking with Christian she discovered that he loved Dinosaurs. He wished to be a paleontologist when he grew up. She had bought the book to give to him.
Seeing the book made her chest tighten. Guilt immediately flooded her. Tears filled her eyes. She slid down the cabinet. The glass fell from her hands shattering loudly on the floor.
When the sound of breaking glass reached his ears Mulder was instantly on his feet. "Scully?" he called. He hurried towards the kitchen.