My life began on a cold winter day in the fifth year of Tenpou. It was a difficult time, as almost the whole country is suffering temperature drops leading to a decline in crops. Our family survived, which is to be expected of a top artisan family. Serving Wagashi or other sweets has become an important aspect in tea ceremonies, and with my father producing one of the most beautiful Wagashi our family hardly had to deal with securing the ingredients he needed – the aristocrats made sure they'd get the sweets they love so much.

My childhood was full of happy days. My father, while strict, made sure me and my brothers were cared for and provided for. Mother is loving and took great care of us. However, being the only daughter in four children, my role is understandably different. I am never to be the heir, and father wouldn't teach me everything there is to know about our craft. Rather, mother is to teach me how to be a proper woman – to be someone's wife.

I can't say I have a problem with that. It is to be expected of me as a woman in that era. When I turned fourteen, the wedding proposals began. My father was ecstatic at the amount we received. He decided I was the prettiest girl in our village, and that the offers would only get better. In a way, he was right. I was almost fifteen when a mysterious stranger arrived in our village. People back then were naturally suspicious of new faces however, this man brought along riches from the west we've only heard about. With his charm and riches, he won over the influential people in our community, my father included.

It didn't take long for father to accept a proposal from him. Why he decided to marry me, I'll never know for I never met the man before our wedding. All I knew before it was that his name was Kibutsuji Muzan.

"Yukiko! It's here!" mother called excitedly, rushing to my room. She slid open my door, chest heaving, and her usually impeccable hair in slight disarray. "Come, come!" She beckoned me, grabbing my wrist and almost dragging me to the hall. What I saw waiting for me took my breath away.

"They're finally done with your Kimono!" It was a beautifully made iro-uchikake with patterns of flowers, a flowing river, and cranes. A tsunokakushi with a modest number of flowers now resting on my mother's arms. "These are beautiful, mother," I whispered, dreamily caressing the hanging silk before me. "Isn't it too extravagant?"

"What's the problem if it's extravagant? Kibutsuji-san knows you deserve the best." Mother then proceeded to put the tsunokakushi on me, giving me a closer look at her face. She looked like she was ready to cry. I think she really was about to cry, then.

"Ah! Nee-chan, is that what you'll be wearing?" My youngest brother, Yusuke, asked as he walked towards us face splattered with mud. "Oh dear, don't touch your sister's kimono! You'll get mud on it!"

"Ehh?" Yusuke complained as if mother wasn't making much sense. Perhaps to a ten-year-old like him it really doesn't make much sense. "Fine. I don't want to touch it anyway. Nee-chan, come play with us! Yuichii-nii and Yori-nii are hiding. I'm supposed to find them, but with you joining you're it. Okay?" I was about to say yes when mother firmly told Yusuke no. "She can't play that with you boys anymore! The wedding is tomorrow. Call your brothers in, it's almost time to eat."

"Mother, I'm sure it's fine for me to play with them. It is the last time, after all." I didn't bother hiding my sadness. Despite growing up knowing that I'd be married off and would have to live my family, I can't help the creeping sadness within me. A hand tenderly cupped my cheek, urging me to look in my mother's eyes. "I know you'll miss your brother's very much, but preparing for a wedding takes more than a day! After eating, you'll need to take a bath. We have to wash your hair and start fixing it up. The hairdressers will be by this afternoon."

"I understand." I really don't have any choice, after all.

Sleeping with my hair fully made up is difficult and painful. Well, the whole process of combing hot wax into it was already dreadful, now trying to keep it looking this extravagant until tomorrow is just too much. I couldn't believe there are women in Edo who do it regularly. Perhaps due to the state of my hair, sleep evades me. I decided then that some fresh air would help and went out to our small pond.

There weren't many clouds in the sky, and the moon was so big and bright, I could see everything in the yard. Huh. Tomorrow, I won't be the daughter of this family anymore. I'll be someone's wife. Kibutsuji Muzan's wife. I never really did desire to meet the man I was to marry. I figured I'd have the rest of my life to look at him, so why even bother? However, my mother who've seen him once swore that he was probably the most handsome young man she's ever met. Father on the other hand, only told me how sure he was that Kibutsuji-san would be able to take great care of me and that I'd never want for anything.

I wonder just how rich he really is… "Kibutsuji Muzan…" It is a nice name. "You called for me, Yukiko-san?" What? A voice suddenly broke the silence that I was enjoying, prompting me to turn over to where it came from. "Who are you?" I probably should have called for help right then, but I was rooted to my spot and my throat was suddenly dry. Before me stood a man with blood, red eyes. I couldn't focus on anything else but his eyes.

"Why, I am your betrothed." He said in a manner akin to speaking to a clueless child. "Kibutsuji-san?" he nodded. "If you're looking for father… I… I'll go get father." I was more than ready to get back inside the house, but the man I was to marry had other ideas. "I came here for you, actually."

He walked towards me, grabbing my chin so rudely to look him in the eyes. Seeing it up close made me shiver. It's almost inhuman. This close, I can't deny what mother told me, how my husband to be is breathtakingly handsome. Despite the discomfort I'm feeling at his sudden touch, I can't turn away. I waited with bated breath but his next move never came.

I woke up with a start, a slight pain present on my neck. I couldn't tell where I was as I was enveloped in darkness, except for the rays of moonlight that filtered in somehow. I was sure it wasn't our house though. My eyes took time adjusting to the dark, when they finally did the first thing I saw was red.

"Kibutsuji-san? Where am I? What…?" There were a hundred different questions running through my head then, but I was only able to voice one. The man staring at me seemed to understand though.

"There's something I've been looking for. Something I need. I have a feeling you'd be a tremendous help." His explanation did nothing to calm me down nor make me understand the situation. "You have to live through this first, however." His touch was then accompanied by the greatest pain I've ever felt.

"Ahh!" It started from where he touched me on my forehead and traveled all throughout my body. It was as if fire flowed through my veins followed by ice. I grasped at my throat, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. It was by then Kibutsuji-san started talking to me. What he said though, I didn't know for every bit of my consciousness was focused on what my body was suddenly going through. Surely this wasn't real, was it? I was supposed to be sleeping and get married tomorrow to the very man I'm with. Oh no! What if he's not my fiancé?

I think the pain caused me to pass out, for the next thing I knew was that it was morning, and I was famished. A hunger so voracious I could probably eat a whole pig and would still want more. Sunlight filtered in, and I have a nagging feeling within me to not let it touch me. The hunger I felt was so strong and demanding that it took me a while to notice that I was back in my own room.

"Food?" A delicious aroma started to waft in, maybe breakfast is ready? Was last night an odd nightmare? My mouth started watering and I just wanted to launch at the delicious smell I was getting. But the thought of sunlight touching my skin made me hiss in pain. Despite my kimono covering all skin, I still grabbed a blanket to cover my head. I stuck close to the wall, almost clinging to it, just so I could stay away from the windows.

I found myself standing before Yuichii-nii's room. The smell that whets my appetite so is much stronger on that spot. I slid the door open, and my heart seemed to be trying to beat out of my chest. Sweat dripped, and I started to drool at the sight. In my heart I know I shouldn't feel this, but at the sight of my brother's bloody and mangled body I could only think of one thing.

Food.

AN:

Tenpou year 5 - 1835

Wagashi - traditional Japanese confections that are often served with green tea, especially the types made of mochi, anko and fruits.
iro-uchikake - colorful wedding kimono used during the Edo period
tsunokakushi - a traditional headgear worn in Shinto wedding ceremonies in Japan
Nee-chan - older sister; can be one-sama, one-san
Nii - older brother; can be oni-chan, oni-sama, oni-san