The Lazy Maelstrom
Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto. If I did, I would be filthy rich. Like always this will be my only disclaimer throughout the whole story. Thank you, that is all.
By The Obsidian Blade
Chapter one- return of the lazy blonde
It was at the dead of night when they arrived at the top of the hill. There were two of them. One was a tall man, about six foot. He wore some kind of green garbs with a red over coat that had the sleeves cut off cleanly. He had long spiky white hair tied into a pony tail. He had red lines tattooed to his face right blow his eyes. His head band was something different. Instead of the usual blue cloth it was attached to a red cloth. The actual metal part was something not to be messed with. It was big and bulky with two spikes extending from the top. Instead of a leaf or any other insignia declaring him from a ninja village he had the kanji for oil engraved in black. The boy next to him was something different. He was about five foot five and seemed around thirteen years old. He wore a black hooded trench coat that reached about id thigh with the sleeves torn off. He had grey pants on with many pockets and taped off at the end. His shoes were closed toe boots with metal spikes at the toe. His shirt was a long sleeved mesh shirt, showing off his developing muscles. He had a large katana attached to his back, sheathed in a black leather sheath. The katana was larger than most. The blade was completely silver with dark blue kanji running up the length of the blade for 'spirit of darkness'. The look may have contradicted the feel of the blade in every way shape and form. The blade was half a foot longer, several inches wider, and a bit thicker. His hair was like the other mans but blonde. Three whisker marks marred his face. His eyes were hidden beneath dark red sunglasses. There were two things that set him apart from the rest of the world. His elf like ears with blond fur and white tips making them look like a fox's and a fox tail with the same color scheme that swayed behind him. His canines were like small fang escaping from his mouth slightly. His nails were more like claws. Despite all the intimidating things about the teen there was something that made him seem harmless. His posture. It was so lazy that you would think that he never had a fighting bone body.
"So gaki, are you thrilled to be back at your village?" the older man asked.
The blonde yawned a bit. "Thrilled no, tired yes," the blonde replied. The older man sighed. The kid has always acted that way. But he had to admit, the unlucky soles who fought him never seen it coming. The only hard part about training the teen was getting him motivated. Sure he did it but it was a pain in the ass.
"You are always tired gaki. Can't you be motivated for something?" the old man complained. The blond raised an eyebrow above his sunglasses.
"I am motivated to get some sleep in a place that doesn't smell like sex and alcohol." That seemed to make the older man flinch a bit.
"We had no choice. We had very little money." The teen shook his head.
"We didn't have a choice or I didn't? Last time a checked you were loaded. Besides, each and every 'hotel' we checked into were all brothels and you were the one reeking of sex and alcohol." It was funny really. Each one of the teen's comments was made out in lazy drawls, as if they never wanted to leave the comfort of the blonde's mouth. The older man just shook his head and sighed. The kid had no hope.
"Well gaki, the faster we get there the faster you get to sleep in a nice and cozy apartment." That seemed to get the blonde's attention.
"Now you are speaking in a language that I can understand," the blonde lazily said. The white haired man face vaulted at this. The kid had a serious motivational problem.
They made their way down hill in a quick walking pace. The trip was made in silence. The kid maybe powerful but he would be never taken as a threat unless people knew him personally. The people who underestimated him got a big surprise when they were hit. Before they arrived at the gate, the blonde put up a quick genjutsu over his foxy features.
They arrived at the gate. The two guards guarding it looked at the two before stepping into action. "Halt!" the one on the right yelled out. "State your names and the reason you have came to Konoha!" the older of the two travelers scowled. Why was it that everywhere they go they had to be questioned?
"I am the greatest pervert alive, the famed author of Icha Icha, the one that women flock to far and wide, Jiraiya and the lazy moon over there is my apprentice Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto sighed over the introduction before talking.
"You don't have to have such a 'glorious' introduction hentai," the blonde known as Naruto said in a lazy drawl. "Besides, the last time I have seen women flocking to was to kick your little hentai loving ass to the curve for peeping on them when they were in the bath house. Seriously, you don't have any respect for privacy, do you hentai?" Jiraiya's eye started to twitch uncontrollably.
"HOW MAHY TIMES DO I HAVE OT TTELL YOU TO STOP CALLING ME HENTAI!" the man exploded before going on a long rant about disrespectful gakis not knowing how to respect their elders. Naruto sighed and looked at the men guarding the gate. He knew the two personally. They were good friends with Naruto before the blonde left with Jiraiya when he was four. Even then he was a lazy smartass. They both wore the standard chuunin outfits. One had spiky black hair with his head band keeping the locks from getting in his face. The other wore something similar but had his head band acted as a bandana tied around his head. A long lock framed his face and covered one of his eyes.
"Hey Kotetsu, Izumo. Do you think you could let me and the hentai in?" The two men face vaulted at this. The teen has always been a lazy bastard and it showed in the way he talked. They still could not believe that he willingly wanted to become a ninja.
"Sure go ahead," Izumo said motioning for Naruto and Jiraiya to enter. Naruto smiled slightly at the two before entering with the white haired man in tow. When he entered he looked up at the sky, or more importantly, the stars and the moon. It always had away to calm the teen down, even in the worst of situations. It was something that he could see. The stars always were different and the moon remained the same. The same object in a sea of change. The blonde smiled slightly at the sight before looking back at the pervert and sighed.
"I am going to my apartment; tell the old man that I will see him in the morning around eight. You got that hentai." The pervert seemed to twitch an eye yelling at him.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO STOP CALLING ME THAT?!" Jiraiya yelled at the blonde. The blonde yawned in response before answering the older man's question.
"Because it is way too much work to change habits when it is not needed." The reply only seemed to get Jiraiya angrier.
"WHAT DO YOU MEN IT'S TO UCH WORK TO CHANGE HABITS YOU LAZY ASSHOLE!" Everyone that was outside was looking at the white haired Sannin argue with a thirteen year old blonde. Most of the spectators shook their heads and left.
"Whatever, I am going to; bed so come and get me in the morning." Naruto left without much fuss. The older man just snorted and grumbled something about grateful lazy gakis that had no respect before disappearing in a swirl of leafs.
The older man reappeared inside the Hokage's office. Before the old pervert knew it he was dodging a paper weight that was thrown his way. "HEY!" Jiraiya yelled. Sarutobi just looked at the man sternly. Sarutobi was an old man. He his hair has already grayed. He was in the formal red and white Hokage robes and the oddly shaped hat.
"You know to use the door Jiraiya," the old man said sternly. Jiraiya grumbled a bit before taking a seat in front of the large oak desk. "Where is Naruto?" Jiraiya shook his head.
"Where do you think?" Jiraiya replied. Sarutobi sighed and shook his head. If the boy wasa not eating he was sleeping somewhere out of the way. No one really knew where he sleeps a lot of the time since it could be a random place. It was never really the same unless he stayed at home.
"So," the aged man started. "What exactly did he learn?" Jiraiya seemed to smirk at that.
"The kid may not act like his father but he sure as hell learns like him," Jiraiya said with pride in his voice. "I didn't teach him a lot of my own jutsus as his affinity was not fire but he did learn jutsus from other people. His chakra control is moderate for someone of his skill. His kenjutsu is amazing. His tiajutsu is nothing to laugh at. He learned mostly water jutsu as we did not go into wind because of abundance. He also has a shadow affinity. Maybe he was lucky to have that Nara use a blood transfusion for him. Still don't know how he gained their blood line but hey, we can't learn everything, can we." Sarutobi seemed to chuckle at that. The week before Naruto left he was attacked. A Nara's clan head's wife was passing by and saw the attack happen. She saved his life and since her blood was the same type as Naruto's she volunteered for a blood transfusion. She saw how he and Shikamaru got along and he was over often enough to be considered family. Most of the Nara clan liked him. The reason why he acted like them so much was because he was around them.
"So who taught him his jutsus and his kenjutsu if you didn't?" Sarutobi asked. Jiraiya smiled a little bit before answering.
"It's a surprise," Jiraiya said before he dodged another paperweight that seemed to come out of nowhere. "Well I am going to get going sensei, be sure to tell Yoshino that Naruto has come back to Konoha." Jiraiya then disappeared in a plume of smoke. Sarutobi rubbed his temples.
A jounin appeared out of the shadows. He wore a standard jounin outfit in its usual color, navy blue. He wore a black mask that went form the neck to the bridge of his nose. His head band was tilted to the side, covering his left eye, making his already gravity defying silver hair tilt to the side but never falling. "So I am guessing you want me to get Yoshino Hokage-sama?" the man questioned. The aged man nodded his head.
"Yes Kakashi-kun, please retrieve them." Kakashi nodded slightly before disappearing in a blur. Sarutobi looked at the crystal ball that was hidden by a genjutsu. Few people below jounin knew that he used the crystal ball. He put up privacy barriers up near the bath house so he would not be tempted to look there. He focused the crystal ball to Naruto's location. He saw the blonde sleeping inside cot that he had set up in his room.
Before he could do anything he was decked by an angry dark haired woman. "WHERE THE FUCK IS HE!" the woman screamed. Sarutobi started to wave the woman down before she got to violent.
"He is in his room sleeping right now Yoshino-chan," the old Hokage said. She seemed to calm down a little bit before scowling.
"The lazy prick did not even try to come and see us before he went off to be bed. Oh he is going to get it tomorrow. I will be the one to personally wake his ass up and take him to school for his gennin exam." Sarutobi shuddered. He knew how she woke up people. It was definitely not how someone wants top start off a morning. She stormed off out of the office and slammed the door closed. He made a silent prayer to Kami that Naruto would survive before going back to his mortal enemy, paperwork.
A/N This story is dedicated to Tigersflame for PMing me the request. It was an awesome idea. If he is done with his Naru/femshika one shot then read it. I ma pretty sure it is going to be grate. If not then wait for it. I know I am going to wait for it. Read and Review and while you are at it read my other stories or I will feed your asses to the Divine Dragoon and listen to your screams of agony.