Thanks so much for the reviews, feedback and follows/likes. I really was rooting for Sakura to outgrow her superficiality. But then I turned her into Rumpelstiltskin!
Happy you guys enjoyed the portrayal though.
Here is chapter 25; a Sasuke-centric narrative.
Chapter 25
A nagging feeling accompanies Sasuke as he furthers himself from the village. He feels as though he is making a bad decision. One that may come back to haunt him, but he brushes it off as a sentimental inclination. There is no space in his life for sentimentality; it is not essential for survival.
Sasuke's focus in his adulthood has been honed in on the basics of survival. To him, living a life with the bare essential uncomplicates the human experience. Food, shelter, and fighting are within his control. The complications of human emotions only serve as a distraction and thus serve no purpose in his life. His travels are mostly solo because there is no need for the difficulty of including another.
He feels an uneasiness in his chest. The feeling is unfamiliar, but he possesses enough self-awareness to acknowledge the source of the discomfort. Without intending to and against reasoning, he allowed Hinata to bypass the protective walls he had built. Now he is left picking up the pieces while she happily enters a new chapter in her life.
When he learned about Hinata's pregnancy from Sakura at the hospital, he was almost certain that the child was his. During those mere seconds, his feelings were mixed. The thought of having a family was exhilarating but that joy was quickly replaced with fear. Life was never kind to him. His loved ones had all been snatched away from him.
Sasuke believes this is his fate. It's the curse that comes with being an Uchiha.
When Sakura eventually revealed Hinata's date of conception, Sasuke became convinced he couldn't be the father. He came to the conclusion that the child must be Naruto's.
This second divulgence of information by the pink-haired kunoichi brought bittersweet relief. A child would be a blessing at first, but with time, malediction was certain to accompany. Sasuke shudders at the possibility of what could go wrong. He doesn't think he can survive another familial loss.
He travels aimlessly for days. He realizes after a while that he is going in circles. His sleep is restless. His stomach aches as his supplies diminish.
Sasuke is disappointed in himself; he should be emotionally stronger than this. It was only a short affair. Nothing to mourn, yet his mind processes it differently.
Gliding from tree to tree, he pauses atop a cypress tree. His dark, unruly hair is swept up in the light wind. A balsamic, sweet scent lingers in the air. Ahead he sees dozens of rice fields. The landscape is devoid of modern infrastructure, only a few single dwelling wooden homes can be seen from this distance. He has reached Otogakure; a land he once called home more than a decade ago.
Karin greets him at the entrance to Orochimaru's hideout. She sensed Sasuke's chakra as soon as he entered Otogakure's borders.
As Sasuke enters the base, he thinks to himself that the mauve, somewhat dilapidated structure looks less foreboding now than it did when he was a teenager. Instead of inciting vengeance, it now brings him a sense of peace and calm; a place to rest his weary bones.
Karin's crimson gaze sees more than the average eye. Sasuke's chakra flow is fragmented; he's in need of rest. She leads him to a small personal guest room, a twin wooden bed with a thin foam mattress are the only pieces of furniture present. Sasuke spends the next two days in this room doing nothing apart from sleeping and eating.
Karin visits regularly to bring him food and fresh laundry. He doesn't leave the room during these first few days. On the third day, he ventures outside to feel the sun on his face.
Slipping off his black sandals, he sits atop a large boulder next to a riverbank. Adjacent to the river is a bamboo grove. A light breeze rustles through the forest; the bamboo sways and creaks under the light pressure.
The gentle, passive ambiance soothes Sasuke's soul, placing him in a meditative state. Hours pass, his complexion reddens under the harsh midday sunlight.
He is brought out of his trance by a loud squawk above. Looking up with his hand partially shielding his eye, he sees the beige underbelly of a bird of prey.
He welcomingly stretches out his arm and the bird hones in on him. As she nears closer, her rich, brown plumage is vibrantly visible. Yellow ribbed talons pierce into Sasuke's skin leaving temporary indentations.
Sasuke draws the bird closer to his face and the hawk nuzzles into his nose affectionately. He notices a scroll attached to the bird's violet messenger band. Delicately removing it from her left foot, he shoves the parchment into his pant pocket.
Before tucking it into his pocket, he notices a diamond lattice insignia. He's familiar with the symbol. It belongs to the last remaining member of the Hatake clan. Sasuke has no intention of reading Kakashi's message as he assumes it's insignificant. In that moment, he makes the egregious decision to cut off communication with Kakashi.
He feeds his summon and softly expresses his gratitude. He regrets allowing Kakashi to use his summon as a messenger tool. It was essential during Kakashi's reign, but now Sasuke doesn't see the need for direct communication. He decides to relinquish her duties to Konoha. Whispering in her ear, he sets her free.
The now crumpled note is tucked under Sasuke's bed. He doesn't believe the information on the scroll to be confidential or important enough to hide from Orochimaru. He thinks about throwing it away, but that would be an insult to the effort his summon undertook in locating him.
Orochimaru assesses him. His chakra and optical pathways are still disturbed but not to an alarming degree. Orochimaru recommends rest, or for a speedier recovery - Karin's healing chakra, but Sasuke rejects the latter. This woman has saved his life on multiple occasions, only for him to return the favour with a near fatal blow. He already owes her his life; he no longer wants to take from her or anyone else for that matter.
Karin is saddened by the rejection.
Later that evening when Karin visits him. Sasuke's already in bed. She sits on his bed and stretches out her arm, offering it enticingly. Faint speckles of silver are the only traces left of the countless bite marks that once peppered her skin. She is now in the fortunate position to choose whom she renders aid to and Sasuke will always be at the top of the list.
Sasuke shakes his head rebuking the offer, but Karin moves closer to him, pressing her soft arm against his mouth. He opens his mouth to verbalize his refusal, but she uses the moment to push her arm against his teeth.
There has always been a certain euphoric feeling to accepting Karin's healing chakra. The temptation to heal and revel in this aftermath leads Sasuke to accept the transfusion.
Karin has led herself to believe she has outgrown her teenage crush. She can acknowledge that she is still attracted to Sasuke, but she no longer has the urge to force her feelings onto the stoic man. However, as teeth pierce skin, she is unable to control her base desires.
She lets out a low lustful moan. It catches Sasuke off-guard, bringing back memories of Hinata above and under him.
Eye to eye, Karin notices the desire in his eyes. Mistakenly, she assumes it's a result of her presence. Removing her arm, she moves closer bringing her lips to his. Sasuke is unable to move, momentarily immobilized by her intoxicating chakra.
Karin takes no heed to his rigidity. Standing up, she moves to mount his lap. She waits for him to push her off. When he doesn't, her lips trail his neck while her lower portion moves against his. Naturally, Sasuke's body reacts to the physical stimulation.
His mind is in disagreement with his body though. Physically, he enjoys her ministrations, but mentally, he is unable to continue.
Placing his palm on her waist to still her, Sasuke quickly places Karin to the side and exits the room without uttering a word. That night, he sleeps alone under the moonlight.
He finds her the next day working at a computer monitor in one of Orochimaru's genetics labs. She blushes in humiliation.
Sasuke is there with the intention to apologize for his past mistakes; for ruthlessly using her and taking advantage of her feelings. But Karin is the first to redress her actions.
She adjusts her purple bowtie, then begins to explain that she tried to take advantage of his vulnerability.
"You came here for help," she states matter-of-factly. Sasuke doesn't respond to her claim. "And instead of offering my help unconditionally, I pursued my desires." Disconcertedly, Karin looks away. She steadies her breath, not wanting to shed tears. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun."
After she has finished, a sad smile escapes Sasuke. He places his hand on hers and sincerely expresses, "I am sorry, Karin. For everything I've done to you. And for not thanking you for saving my life."
She is shocked by his earnestness and wonders what brought about this change. Without thinking, she hugs him. It's an amicable hug without desire. Uncharacteristically, Sasuke allows the physical contact.
Quickly but not callously he removes himself from Karin embrace "I hope to one day be in the privileged position to repay your generosity…your kindness."
Though warmed by his offering, she brushes off her good deeds "You would've done the same, Sasuke-kun."
He doesn't deny this, but is not sure if her belief in him holds any merit.
Sasuke leaves Otogakure with the same heavy spirit in which he arrived, but his body feels lighter and his vision is unclouded. He doesn't return to Orochimaru's base until four years later.
During this period, he roams from nation to nation, occasionally hopping into otherworldly dimensions to gather intelligence for Konoha. He communicates with Naruto via messenger birds and frogs, but most often his messages are unanswered. When he does receive a response, it's brief, formal, and just an exchange of information. Thinking fatherhood must be taking a toll on the Jinchuuriki, Sasuke isn't alarmed by the change in communication.
He wants to be happy for Naruto because his friend finally has a family to call his own. But deep down, envy and bitterness eat away at him, so he strays even further from Konoha.
During his second year of solo traveling, Sasuke misses a vital piece of information that was practically shoved in his face.
In the outskirts of a small town in Kaze no Kuni, he waits in a convenience store checkout line with two large bottles of water. Wandering the desert land can be deadly if no water sources are located. This time, he is lucky enough to stumble upon a small town where he can safely rehydrate.
The shopkeeper eyes him warily. Sasuke's battered, sun-kissed cloak and unruly, sand-matted hair give the impression of dereliction. The two teenaged girls in front pay him no mind, they are busy gossiping about the magazine they have in hand.
The unnatural fluorescent lights reveal Naruto on the cover of the magazine with a blonde female Sasuke doesn't recognize. The headline reads, 'Trouble in Paradise? Are things over between Konoha's Hokage and movie vixen, Yui?'
Sasuke scoffs aloud at the absurdity of it and murmurs, "Usuratonkachi!"
It earns him the attention of the two girls and they move away eyeing him in disgust, believing him to be homeless. Sasuke pays them no attention; he prefers repulsion over fawning.
Sasuke thought public slander was illegal. He hopes the published lies for attention and money doesn't affect the quiet housewife. Hinata tried to hide it, but Sasuke could tell she is riddled with insecurity. He understands why; he may have felt the same if his clan survived and Itachi continued to surpass him in both skill and paternal affection.
When he thinks back on this moment and of the stupid magazine with Naruto's tired sheepish smile, Sasuke wonders if unconsciously he was running away from the truth.
He continues searching for clues of the Otsutsuki in different dimensions. His journey brings him to landscapes foreign to that seen on earth. A few show the possibility of life, which is usually in the form of alien, towering foliage with colours rarely seen on his planet.
The remaining landscapes are barren, seemingly abandoned and torched. These environments while hostile to maintaining life, welcome Sasuke. He feels at peace in this unforgiving land because there is no one to judge him or remind him of his failures. It's an escape from the reality that torments him. But eventually, he always leaves, mostly out of necessity and a desire to continue living.
After the fourth year away from Konoha, Sasuke rescues a group of enslaved women and children in an unmarked island near the infamous Coliseum. The majority of women are sex workers, while the children are used for cheap labour. They were kept locked away in the basement of a small house.
Sasuke accidentally stumbles upon the house while looking for refuge from a sudden downpour. Soaked through and through, he enters the house asking for respite. Alarmed by the intrusion, one of the captors draws a knife while the other runs to the basement. Not wanting to kill, Sasuke uses the handle of his katana to disable the knife.
With the tip of the katana pressed lightly against the assailant's back, they both descend into the basement. The accomplice is attempting to sneak the women out through a small window. Bu the force of Sasuke's elbow to the back of the accomplice's head is enough to render him unconscious.
Sasuke frees the women and children of their roped bondage. He offers them the little food and water in his backpack, which they ravenously accept. He ties the assailant and locks him in the basement with his accomplice, intending to hand them over to the authorities.
As the rain continues to beat against the galvanized roof, Sasuke and the escapees have no choice but to wait until the weather subsides. He drifts off for a few hours from hunger and lack of warmth. When he awakes, both men are dead. Their throats slit with a dull knife.
Sasuke is in no position to reprimand. He knows the lure of revenge all too well.
These disenfranchised women are grateful to Sasuke for freeing them, but they eventually disband with the children in search of their homes.
Only one woman remains. She is a few years younger than Sasuke. She tells him of her past; how her husband and son were murdered as they tried to defend her from these now dead captors. Sasuke believes she may have been the one to seek retribution.
She has no one to return to, nor does she have any skills to help her thrive. She fears she will have no choice but to return to selling her body.
Sasuke offers to accompany her to the next village where he will try to find her work. She tries to express her gratitude the only way she knows how.
She joins him in his sleeping tent. Her wavy brown hair cascades over Sasuke's face as she dips down to kiss him.
He pushes her off to the side as he firmly he tells her, "I'm not looking for repayment."
Unperturbed, she strokes his face. Nodding her head, she tells him, "I know. But I want this."
Sitting on her bruised knees, she unbuttons her blouse then removes her tattered skirt. The dim moonlight reveals a thin but womanly figure. She is pretty but can easily go unnoticed. She may have once been considered beautiful when stress and scars didn't mar her small, rounded face.
"Since they have taken me away from my family, I've never had a choice. I'm choosing to do this… with you."
Sasuke notices the despondency and agony in her voice. Out of pity, he allows her to unclothe him. Their intimate exchange is not affectionate and it's mostly one-sided. He doesn't explore her body nor does he allow her to linger in the aftermath. They help each other find release, but soon after hollowness stalks him.
For the three nights they are together, he allows her free roam of his body with the hope that it would silence the eternal hopelessness that plagues his mind. It does little to ease his anguish.
He helps her find a job as a cleaner and hands her a wad of cash. It's enough for her to start a new life. She is stunned and hesitant to accept.
"It's too much! You've done enough. I can't accept this," she tells him.
"You need it more than I do. It'll help you build a new life… an easier one." It's left unsaid that the amount he has given her is a drop in the bucket compared to what he has inherited from his deceased relatives.
She asks him to stay and he briefly considers it. Her presence is muted, she doesn't probe, and her loneliness and pain are similar to his. But he notices the desire in her eyes, it's the same look he sees in Sakura's eyes. Sasuke will not be able to give this woman what she wants and it will only be a matter of time before she demands more. If he stays, he will be wasting her time by giving false hope.
She has no choice but to accept his departure. Her simple words of farewell are haunting; "I hope you find your home."
He doesn't know where home is and doesn't think there will ever be one for him.
With those words echoing in his mind, he begins to think of Hinata. He hasn't thought of her in over a year. He begins to replay the memories of their time together. He ruminates, wondering if she only used him to overcome the despair of her deteriorating marriage. Did her feelings ever develop into something deeper than the kinship of a former classmate? Would she have rebuked him if he confessed the feelings he tried to stifle?
As Sasuke once again enters Otogakure, he comes to the conclusion that he will never be able to outrun these feelings. This is his first experience with romantic heartbreak and most likely would be his only.
He is tired of running. Confronting Hinata with these feelings will indisputably lead to rejection or ill fate to his friend's marriage. But Sasuke is unable to calculate another means of closure.
Suigetsu and Karin welcome him at the border. Their reunion is amicable; Sasuke is happy to see his comrades in good health.
They spend time catching up in Karin's private lab. Sasuke learns that Suigetsu is now engaged to a lab technician originally from Kirigakure. His friend shows him a photo of the young woman. Her hair is red and her eyes are brown. Sasuke chooses not to mention the resemblance to Team Taka's only female member.
Suigetsu hopes Sasuke will attend the wedding. Karin jokes that he should be careful what he wishes for as Sasuke might steal the bride away.
Suigetsu ignores her. Solemnly he states, "I just hope my marriage doesn't end like your Hokage's. That was supposed to be a fucking fairy tale ending."
Sasuke turns his mismatched eyes to him inquisitively.
Suigetsu pauses to take a sip of water from a black straw attached to a mossy green water bottle, then asks, "Did you leave the village before their divorce?"
Sasuke's brows furrow in agitation and Suigetsu takes this as confirmation of his ignorance. "I thought you knew. I think the divorce was around the same time you were recovering in Konoha."
Sasuke shakes his head, "I was already away from the village."
"The press claims it was an amicable split. Probably bullshit PR trying to hide the truth," Suigetsu continues.
Karin nods her head in agreement, eager to add to the gossip. "I heard rumours that his ex-wife was being shipped off to some old, rich dude. Imagine your own father discarding you like that!" She moves to refill Sasuke's bamboo cup with hot green tea.
Sasuke has lost interest in the beverage. He musters up the courage to ask, "What about their child?"
In unison, both comrades ask, "What child?"
Sasuke softly mutters, "I thought she was pregnant."
Karin looks a bit alarmed. "That would explain a lot. She vanished shortly after the divorce. I only learned this from Orochimaru… you know his obsession with kekkei genkais. He scouted a few sand nin to locate her."
Seeing the disgust on Sasuke's face, Karin waves her hands defensively. "His intention was to care for her, only if she voluntarily agreed."
Suigetsu chimes in, a sinister tone lacing his speech, "Housing and food for the small price of being experimented on."
Sasuke's apparent tension unnerves Karin; her mind begins to whirl. She begins to remember Orochimaru's wild theory of the divorced princess fleeing with a child of both the Hyuga and Uchiha bloodline. Orochimaru fantasized about the powers that pairing may breed.
"Sasuke-kun, Orochimaru knew you were being cared for by the Hyuga. Was his assumption correct?" Karin pauses, unsure if to probe. Her former teammate isn't known for his patience. Finding resolve, she continues with a slight tremor in her voice, "Was Hinata Hyuga pregnant with your child?" She bites her scarlet lips in nervous anticipation of his response.
Sasuke abruptly leaves for his old guest room, leaving behind his two dumbfounded teammates. Kakashi's message is still tucked under the mattress. It's a simple but alarming message:
"Sasuke, you need to come home. Hinata needs you. There is something you need to know."
Sasuke curses his impudence. Why did he think Kakashi would waste his time with triviality? It is too late to dwell on his past mistakes though. He needs answers. He needs to find Hinata.
He just hopes she is still alive with her eyes intact.
When Sasuke returns to the lab, Karin and Suigetsu are both silently looking away from each other trying to process what they have just learned. Sasuke's abrupt disappearance was enough to answer Karin's question.
"Karin! Contact me immediately if Orochimaru gets wind of her," Sasuke demands with no room for questioning.
"Immediately!" he emphasizes, rushing to collect his belongings.
"Okay," Karin responds. She doesn't have the heart to tell him the unlikely probability of Orochimaru locating her nearly four years later.
Suigetsu offers his assistance, but this is another journey Sasuke needs to do on his own. Worry etches his friends' faces. The last time they have seen Sasuke this unhinged was after the death of Itachi.
They hope, for his sanity, that the child and mother are still alive and unharmed.
TBC
I really enjoyed this angst-heavy chapter, I hope you guys did too.
Anyways as always, I would love your feedback. Are some of you still pissed at Sasuke or was his disappearance justifiable?