Harry Potter and the Disastrous Date
By: knuckz
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Summary: Harry knew dating wouldn't be easy. But when he's forced to deal with Death Eaters, dragons, debt collectors, and more on his disastrous date with the dangerous Daphne Greengrass, can he save the day and get the girl?
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Prologue: The Paths Untaken
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At some point in their life, every man comes across a split path, a crossroads if you will. You don't know what either path will bring. Perhaps happiness and good fortune one way, misery and death the other. All you can do is go down one road and hope for the best.
My name is Harry Potter, and I'm about to make that decision.
"This way!" I scream, pulling her along with me. I'm slightly worried that I might pull her arm out of its socket, but there are more pressing matters for me to concern myself with. Besides, she'd rather a treatable injury then possible death, right?
"You fucking...!"
Maybe not.
I don't bother counting them, but I'm pretty sure there are at least four or five after us. I can hear their feet thudding heavily against the marble flooring at a furious pace, like a monster out of a horror film. Except there are at least four or five of them.
There's a clear path ahead of us, and only one door at the end of a long hallway. Where that door leads will be either our salvation or our doom.
"Harry!" Daphne shouts, and I look back to see one of them gaining on us. It's smaller than the rest of them, perhaps half their size. It has the same red fur, the same gaping mouth and humongous teeth and crazed eyes and rotten smell and whatthehellisthatlightcomingoutofit'smouth!?
"Oh for fuck's sake," I say, flicking my wand at it without breaking my stride, just barely flipping it backwards. A red beam shoots out of it's mouth, firing backwards into the group behind it. They're blown away from us thankfully, giving Daphne and I some breathing room.
Okay, so the small ones, being not only faster while retaining that trademark viciousness, can also fire lasers. That's good to know.
...What in the fuck is wrong with this world?
I'm not willing to see what the other ones are capable of, and I'm pretty sure Daphne isn't either, so with my silently-cast Alohomora, the door opens for us to leap into whatever lies beyond it. I've never been so tempted to yell 'Freedom!' at the top of my lungs.
The door closes behind us as soon as both of us are in the room, leaving us in darkness. I can hear Daphne trying to catch her breath from right beside me, our warm hands still entwined. I may not like her, and she may not like me, but both of us know we're comforted by that warmth.
We've come a long way, the two of us.
"Lights?" I whisper to her, and I can feel her raise her wand.
"Lumos," she whispers back, and the room is revealed to us.
So, you see, when you choose one way over the other, you're always left wondering where the other path may have taken you. If you're happy with the choices in your life, would you have had bad ones if you went the other way? If you made bad choices, was there perhaps happiness in that other direction?
Let me tell you the absolute truth: both paths lead to suffering.
So if there's only suffering ahead of you, what should you do when things get tough? Well, when things gets hairy, all you have to do is...
"Daphne, dear?"
"I really hate you, Harry. So much," she replies, instinctively knowing exactly what I was going to say to her. Aha, I think she's starting to like me.
"Catch your breath, darling."
"So goddamn much. So, so, so..."
"Run."
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AN: Why do I do this to myself? In case you don't know me, I have a less-than-spectacular update rate. For those that do know me, I'm still working on WNN. It'll be out hopefully sometime soon. Maybe. And for those that really know me, shut up you faggots. xD
Anyway, this story is an epic and funny one. In case anyone is confused, it's written in the first person, present tense, with Harry being the narrator.
Welp, I'm signing off for now.
Cheers!
knuckz