T o u c h - M e
Disclaimer : Sadly, I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. Only this ridiculous plot.
"He was huge! And you know my standards forehead, so when I say big, he was downright monstrous. Don't even get me started on how he uses that coc-"
"Don't even pig. I don't want my breakfast coming back up." Sakura rolled her eyes at the rather graphic story her blonde best friend/nemesis started detailing while they made their way across the forest. The sun was annoyingly bright and extremely hot, making her red shirt cling uncomfortably to her flushed skin.
Overall she wasn't having the best day. First it started with sleeping in, which was a major lapse when assigned to the emergency unit at four AM in the morning. She hurriedly made her way to the hospital at seven thirty only to be summoned to her teacher's office. Tsunade-sensei was even snarkier than usual, no doubt suffering from a raging hangover, and berated Sakura for her incompetence before rushing her out the door. On her way out of her mentor's office she tripped, right into a clerk who was walking by with an armload of coffee as well as a tower of paperwork, which resulted in a large brown stain on her signature red top. She grumbled angrily before being dragged back into the Hokage's office with a "Oh I almost forgot" by a buxom woman with anger issues that put hers to shame. A scroll was pushed into her hand as well as clear orders to accompany Ino and Kakashi on an A-ranked mission at the border of Suna. Briefing was going to start in ten minutes. As Sakura sat across from her mentor, looking forlornly at the sticky mess that was her shirt, Ino arrived, looking prim and perfect as usual, not a blonde hair out of place. Thirty minutes later the copy nin pushed open the door with a familiar orange book in his hands.
"Finally! Don't you ever keep track of the time Kakashi? I pity your students." Tsunade snarled, crossing her arms while delivering a glare to the very relaxed man rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.
"Well I was on my way to the Hokage tower, quite early in fact, when I saw-"
"Spare me the pathetic excuses. We don't have time. Sit." She ordered, going straight to business.
He nodded before taking a seat next to his former student Sakura. They made a strange trio. Both very volatile and emotional women with one apathetic man. The pinkette didn't dwell on this any longer because her mentor began detailing the mission they would be going on.
"It's easily an A-ranked mission, bordering on S-rank due to the man you'll be encountering. His name is Yamamoto Toshiro. His picture is in the scroll as well as any bingo book you'll find. He defected from Mist a few years back and began his own organization. One that specializes in the trafficking of weapons, drugs and women."
Sakura saw how Tsunade's eyes narrowed on the last word and shared her obvious distaste for the man.
"He takes women, usually from strip clubs and the streets, places where no one would come looking for them. However he took an interest in a daughter of a very wealthy and well known family. She was found abused and bleeding in one of the clubs he frequents in the border of Suna. Her family is of course, extremely distraught and want to level the playing field."
Was she imagining the almost gleeful glint in her teacher's eyes?
"The family wants to ruin his business, break it down from the inside. This will undoubtedly be a hard task because of many factors. The first is his reputation in the area. He owns many of the establishments and hired muscle so chances of anyone turning on him are very slim. Second, he is not as killable as we'd like. His level of skill is that of jonin level. Poison or a well aimed kunai won't do the job. Besides…"
Tsunade shrugged before leaning back on her seat, eyes serious and mouth set in a grim line.
"The family was very clear that he be left alive but all his money, ties and business completely gone."
"Quite vindictive of them." Kakashi remarked, his head tilted to the side as he along with the other females in the room processed this bit of information.
"You would be too if your daughter was practically raped." The Hokage challenged, effectively making him shrink back in his seat, hands up in mock surrender.
"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted...it's all about information. Get Toshiro to spill all the names of his contacts, the locations of his secret bases and where he keeps the girls. Once you extract that, everything else will be easy."
Nods and murmurs of agreement went around the room.
"Kakashi, you will be the male escort and leader of this mission. You make all the calls but if anything urgent should arise, just send a message through Pakkun. Sakura, you'll be the medic. And finally Ino?"
The blonde smiled. "Yes Hokage-sama?"
"You'll be the information extractor."
"How's that shishou?" The pinkette asked before thinking. The woman smirked almost saucily and lowered her voice a few octaves.
"Through seduction of course."
"Oh…" a light blush dusted her cheeks and embarrassment filled her stomach. It was then she tried to avoid the chuckles coming from Ino and the curious sideways glance Kakashi sent her way. Wonderful. She might as well tattoo the word 'virgin' on her forehead.
"This mission is very important and not to mention a very big opportunity for Konoha. We accept this and make this family happy, then everyone gets paid well and the village has a loyal client. Obviously make sure no one can connect you three to Konoha. The last thing we need is any loose ends coming back here for revenge. Is that clear?"
"Crystal."
"Yes Shishou."
"Of course Hokage-sama."
Now here they were, stealthily making their way to the infamous town of casinos, strip clubs and Kami knows whatever indecent establishments where their target was known to frequent on a weekly basis.
"You should have at least changed your shirt. Just because we're ninjas and not seen all the time doesn't mean you should let yourself look like a slob." She flipped her hair before gesturing to her own pristine lavender outfit. In Sakura's opinion, fishnet stockings were not necessary in combat but she wasn't in the mood to argue. Not with heat beating down on them or the vast array of bugs that managed to keep getting caught in her hair. All she wanted to do was get to the target's location, find an inn, get under a cold shower and change into a clean shirt.
"I already told you Ino-pig, there wasn't enough time. Just be grateful I didn't make anyone wait or prolong the mission."
"Isn't it your sensei's job to be late?" She questioned, her eyes latching onto the only male in the team.
"I was late once. Besides, try to be a little less catty? don't forget I outrank you now." Sakura couldn't help the small jab and managed a small smile before Ino elbowed her in the ribs and stomped her foot like a child.
"Don't let it get to you. Your head is already big enough as it is. Besides, I get waaay more missions than you. You know why?"
Blue eyes glinted mischievously under the glaring sun.
"No one wants a virgin on seduction missions."
Sakura's face flamed at her statement. A part of her was suddenly grateful the silver haired nin was quite a distance away, clearly waiting for them to catch up, with his face buried in his favorite icha-icha novel.
"Shut up Ino-pig!" The pinkette wanted to be anywhere at this exact moment.
"Ooh, hit a nerve did I? I guess Sasuke-kun isn't the only guy who doesn't want to touch-"
"Ladies?"
Both heads snapped to Kakashi whose eyes never left his beloved book.
"I'm sure you're both being very polite to one another back there but if you could pick up the pace so we'll be within the target's range in a few hours, that'd be great."
Sakura had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what they were bickering about and felt gratitude bloom in her chest for his timely interruption. Which in hindsight was rather kind of him but it didn't make her virginal status any less embarrassing. That wasn't something she wanted to be a known topic, especially when faced with her teacher.
"Of course Kakashi-sensei." She nodded before making eye contact with Ino who let the matter drop. Clearly she didn't want to stir up any trouble with their team leader, not when she was so close to getting promoted.
And so for the rest of the afternoon, the trio made their way in silence. The only sound was the wind howling in the trees and the buzzing of cicadas in the air.
"This is disgusting."
"For once forehead, we agree."
"Hm...it's not so bad. I've seen worse."
Both females rolled their eyes at Kakashi who evidently wasn't as appalled by their surroundings as they were.
It was less of a village and more like a small city. Neon lights lined several shop windows which seemed to sell a variety of things. From edible lingerie to an assortment of weapons, this place seemed to have anything remotely naughty or embarrassing for Sakura. When she saw a window filled to the brim with rubber penises that came in every color known to man she was sure her cheeks were going to burn off.
Clubs and bars lined the roads, all of them being advertised by women dressed in strips of cloth promising the men who entered a very good time. She almost face palmed at the establishments around her. Not only were they gaudy and loud but their names were tasteless and downright dirty. They passed a building with a bright yellow sign that blinked 'Pussy-cats' where women wearing fuzzy cat ears and shiny collars lingered at the doorway, swinging their attached tails with painted fingernails.
The whole area stank of sex, alcohol and blood. It left Sakura feeling very uncomfortable but she wasn't going to let that stop her from giving her one hundred percent to this mission. And, not that she'd ever admit it out loud, a part of her was curious about sex. Not so much as the process, this was painfully clear to her thanks to the many stories she's heard from Ino and thanks to her medical expertise, but more of the flirting and everything that led up to it. Which would be extremely helpful to not only her professional career as a kunoichi but even her personal life. Ino's comment about her teammate did hurt but only because it held some truth to it. At least now she was getting an eyeful of how females would simply saunter up to a man and render him into a puddle of goo.
The trio had a difficult time finding a hotel that wasn't wildly expensive or ridiculously themed but after about an hour and a half they managed to get two rooms for a decent price. The only catch was it was all red.
And covered in hearts.
Not to mention there were tacky rose petals littered all over the sheets and floor.
"How romantic. I'm sure you and Ino will have a wonderful time." Kakashi murmured, his eye creased meaning he was smiling underneath that mask of his.
Both girls growled at his comment but neither had a chance to smack him on the head before he disappeared behind his door with a cheerful wave.
The girls rolled their eyes then looked at one another. The bolder of the two raised one brow and smirked devilishly. An expression that put even Jiraiya's most perverted grin to shame.
"Drinks?"
Two hours and twenty seven shots later, a loud blonde and a laughing pinkette sat by the bar, an empty glass in each hand and large smiles on their faces. The unsuspecting passer by would assume they were the best of friends having a friendly drink before turning in for the night. This was partly true. In reality they were exchanging a vast variety of insults and crude words that would make a sailor blush.
"H-how the hell aren't y-you drunk yet?" Ino grumbled, tripping over her words as she piled her glass onto the tall tower next to her arm.
"Oh? I guess I outrank you and I can outdrink you too pig." Sakura chuckled, perfecting the pyramid of her now empty shot glasses.
"Let's not go there forehead. Unless you wanna-hiccup-fight." The threat was less frightening and more of comical yet Sakura knew breaking into an all out brawl with Ino wouldn't be the smartest decision.
"Whatever you say." She hummed while pushing more chakra into her stomach, metabolising the alcohol in her system ten times faster, which explains why she was practically sober while her friend was about to fall off the bar stool. It technically wasn't fair to use her medical abilities like this but she knew one of them had to be aware of their surroundings, especially on a dangerous mission. And so she deemed herself the responsible one that night. While Ino drank and enjoyed the warm buzz that the sake supplied her with, she remained painfully sober, listening to Ino rant about the complete and utter obliviousness that is Shikamaru. That was one of the things Sakura liked about her relationship with Ino. They balanced each other out and helped one another. True the animosity was still ever present as well as the rivalry. But that didn't mean their friendship was any less real. In fact, she appreciated how genuine Ino was with her. Granted there was absolutely no tact in her words on most occasions but when it came down to it and when she needed help or a shoulder to cry on, Ino was always there. Whether to berate her judgement in men or drag her out of bed in the middle of her pity parties, the blonde never failed to be there. Of course, that didn't mean Sakura wouldn't use this as ammunition later on if Ino were to bring up her lack of expertise when it came to sex.
"You were saying about Shikamaru?"
"Whu-oh yeah! That bastard...he is so blind! I could lie absolutely naked in his bed and have 'Sleep with me!' spray painted on my boobs and he still wouldn't notice me!"
Ino tipped her head back as she downed another glass, so lost in her rant that she failed to notice a man carrying a tray full of beer. Her long massive mane flicked the poor man in the face. For a moment, all he saw was pale blonde. It was a fraction of a second but it was enough for him to miss a scantily clad woman directly in front of him. The two collided and the pints of alcohol flew. Away from the tray and onto a table full of sake cups. Everything clattered and spilled onto the laps and faces of some very shocked men.
"Fucking shit!" One swore, his palm wiping off the amber liquid from his wet face.
"Uh-oh." The pinkette breathed.
"What's wrong?" Ino hiccuped.
Sakura used her forefinger to push against Ino's cheek until she too watched the scene unfold further.
There were five men currently cursing and fixing their now stained clothes. The one who spoke earlier now had the poor waiter in his grip, shaking him furiously.
"Do you know how much this fucking suit cost?"
"I-i-i'm so sorry s-sir. It was an h-honest mistake."
"Got that right you little worm. Now you're gonna pay."
It seemed like the entire exchange was going completely unnoticed by the entire establishment. Sakura knew this town was shady and in no way high in morale but this was ridiculous. As if holding a man by his shirt about a foot above the ground was normal.
His four friends all gave bloodthirsty grins and suddenly brandished weapons. Kunai and shuriken glinted under the bar's colorful lights. Sakura grit her teeth. She wanted to help but she couldn't jeopardize their mission in any way. The target would be arriving tomorrow night and they couldn't afford to be recognized. Maybe they could put the men in a genjutsu? Or call on any of the authorities?
"Ino-pig."
"Way ahead of you forehead."
"Yeah let's go and...wait, what are you-"
Ino's hands quickly went through a series of hand seals and the man holding the waiter froze. His eyes turned glassy and he simply let go.
"Yo. What the hell Temaki?!" The man on his left elbowed what looked like the leader of the group. Unfortunately due to Ino's strong hold, he didn't show any sign of recognition. No flinch or reaction. He merely stared forward, unseeing and unresponsive. His circle of goons started eyeing the whole room.
"It's a jutsu! Scan the area for a chakra signature."
"Hang on…"
"Ino. Let go. Now!" She whispered, already up and out of her seat.
Just when Ino relinquished her mental grip on the thug, one of his friends' heads snapped in her direction.
"There! That blonde chick over by the bar. She's a kunoichi." The group of guys started towards them, some rolling their sleeves up seemingly ready to brawl. Her eyes caught the sign of similar marks on their arms. Imprinted on their arms were triangles? No. It was a bird. Its wings outstretched and its yellow eyes facing upward.
"Get her!"
Sakura groaned inwardly. Wonderful. Kakashi and Tsunade-sensei were going to love this.
Both girls were panting by the time they arrived at Kakashi's doorstep. It wasn't difficult outrunning them. Judging by their chakra signatures they were about genin level at best. Strong enough to deliver a mean punch and sense other ninja but not enough to be an actual threat. So their heavy breathing wasn't attributed to fear of a potential enemy but rather nervousness in having to report a lapse so early on in their mission. Ino drank a liter of water to clear her head before deciding to face their male escort. It was one thing to say you made a mistake. It was quite another to do so intoxicated.
"Okay. So-" Ino started.
"We're screwed." Sakura deadpanned.
"I wouldn't say screwed."
"How about in a big mess?"
"I was only trying to help!"
"I understand, trust me pig. But really? Of all the jutsus or methods you pick the one that your family is known for?"
"Well you were just going to turn and run."
"Yeah, and report it to the police or the manager so we don't get involved. Remember? No implicating Konoha at all?"
"...good point."
The blonde sighed dejectedly.
"So what now?"
"We report this to Kakashi-sensei."
"Do we have to?"
"Stop that. Pouting doesn't work on me."
"Only if it's from Sasuke-kun huh?"
"One, I don't think his facial muscles can even form a smile, much less a pout. Two, don't act like a child. The sooner we report this the sooner we can get on with the mission."
Ino rolled her blue eyes and knocked on Kakashi's door. Before she finished rapping on the wood, a silver head popped out with a damp towel around his neck.
"Yo."
"Okay so-" Ino began only to be interrupted by Kakashi.
"You used a jutsu on someone in the middle of a bar."
"Erm...yeah."
The copy nin sighed deeply before letting both girls in.
"Explain. Briefly." He added, looking like he was woken up from a very good nap.
"Basically I wanted to help the poor guy. He was getting bullied."
"Help him or prove you better in this silly competition the both of you always play?"
At this Ino flushed furiously and broke eye contact with Kakashi.
"It won't happen again Kakashi-sensei." The pinkette felt the need to intervene. but she didn't do it to save her friend but more to calm the guilt gnawing in her chest. Although she did try to persuade Ino to leave, she can't deny her sensei's claim on their never ending rivalry. Besides, She shouldn't have agreed to having drinks in the middle of a mission in the first place.
"Obviously." He remarked dryly, looking heavenward as if to question Kami why him? Sakura bit the inside of her cheek before speaking again, hoping that this whole ordeal would be over with and they could focus on the task at hand.
"The only complication I see is their sensitivity to chakra signatures and they can tell when a jutsu is being used. They even located Ino-"
"Wait. What?" His visible eye widened at her words. "That means the men you encountered weren't just some random thugs. They were shinobi."
He started pacing while Ino was looking anywhere but him.
"Give me more details. Were they wearing any distinguished colors or a symbol-"
A memory surfaced in Sakura's mind.
"Well, they had similar tattoos."
Kakashi halted his movements and slowly turned to her.
"Of what exactly?"
"An eagle."
It was then Kakashi flopped onto the bed and muttered darkly.
"We're screwed."
Twenty minutes later, Kakashi sent a very detailed report to Tsunade-sensei through Pakkun. The poor pup had just appeared in a swirl of grey smoke before he was rushed off by his master.
"I don't get it. Why's it such a big deal?" Ino grumbled.
"If you actually read the mission scroll, then you'd know that Toshiro's gang is called Kōtō washi. Every single one of his men are marked with a bird on their arm."
Sakura shook her head, finally realizing the situation they were currently in.
"Oh Kami...that's why everyone didn't mind them at the bar. They're untouchable."
"Exactly. Why run or hide their crimes when their boss is the law around here."
That left a foul taste in the pinkette's mouth. No wonder the town was infested with greedy thugs. It was completely corrupted.
The blonde of the group still had her arms crossed over her chest. Sakura glanced at her briefly, aware that these were merely walls, a defense mechanism because Ino simply didn't want to show how upset she was in front of others. Kakashi of course had no problem being blunt and straight to the point.
"You blew your cover Ino. A rookie move that might have cost us this mission."
He said it with a flat voice, disappointment evident in the way he slouched and looked away from the girls. The tension in the room was palpable and Sakura only hoped that Tsunade-sensei could empathize when it came to drunken choices.
Fifteen terrible and excruciatingly long minutes later, Pakkun appeared with a scroll in his whiskered mouth. Kakashi removed it before quickly scanning its contents, his one visible eye widening at the end of it.
"Well?! What is it?" Ino yelled, obviously out of patience.
"We're being called back aren't we?" Sakura groaned, running her hands through her pink hair.
"Not exactly. You better read this yourselves."
He threw the scroll to the blonde. She caught it with shaky fingers and read it just as fast. Shock was clear on her features and her jaw literally dropped. Judging by everyone's reactions, whatever her Shishou had ordered, it was definitely outrageous enough to shock her teammates.
"Give it here Ino-pig."
"You're not gonna like what it says forehead."
Green eyes rolled at her statement. Clearly she was exaggerating.
With deft hands, Sakura took the parchment and read the familiar script of her teacher.
To say I'm disappointed would be a gross understatement. However you three will have to wait before receiving a few chakra induced punches that you so clearly deserve. The mission will proceed as planned. Delaying it by regrouping back here will not please our clients in the slightest. Which is why, since Ino has made it abundantly obvious she is a kunoichi therefore a possible threat to Toshiro and his business, Sakura will be the one to take her place. Yes you did not misread my dear apprentice. You will seduce the head of the crime organization and you will do so with flying colors. I expect Ino, with her vast experience in this area, to guide you accordingly. Kakashi? I expect you to lead this group, not scrounge the town for more icha-icha novels.
Sakura read the scroll again.
Again.
Once more.
"You've got to be kidding."
"Sadly no. The Hokage is many things but a comedian is not one of them." Kakashi scratched the back of his head before shaking it almost dejectedly.
"Well damn. I guess that means you have to learn..." Ino muttered.
"About what?" Sakura groaned. She had her head in her hands at this point. Her voice was small and muffled, barely heard from between her fingers.
For the second time that night, the blonde gave Sakura a devilish and very suggestive smile. Her earlier frustration and embarrassment suddenly forgotten. The blonde practically purred, finding immense satisfaction in her words and the reactions it had on both Jonins.
"Sex...and we're going to use Kakashi-sensei as practice."
AN : Okay so...this is my first Kakasaku fanfic. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think of this so far yeah?