Beware: This fic is a slow burn that's mature due to graphic violence/language and sex. It's a twisted and gritty tale that isn't in everyone's taste. You've been warned!
Saph's PoV
"We're different," my younger brother commented out of nowhere. Suzu pushed some of his dirty brown hair back from his eyes as he peered at the people walking below us.
Straining to see what differences there were between us, I squinted in the darkness of the Underground city. The tall shadows danced around us, all much older and stronger. Did he mean it's because we're kids? Uncertain about the answer he wanted, I decided to just agree with him. "Of course we are!" I leaned forward to get a better look at them in a moment to prove that his big sister knew what she was talking about.
He sighed as if my answer somehow still disappointed him. "I don't just mean different, Saph, I mean better than them."
Glancing at the corpses spread unevenly in the abandoned corners of the streets, I saw ourselves only a step above in terms of improvement. Not dead but still hunger gnawed regularly at senses. Threatening to carry us off into unconsciousness when the pain of an empty belly becomes too great. Suzu always received the larger portion of food to ensure he'd grow strong while I have enough to hold off starvation. Our once round and hyper bodies now skeletal and carved with desperation. A common appearance of almost anyone here besides the wealthy merchants who only came down here to deal in the black market.
"If we were better we would have food in our tummies," I sniffed. My complaint's not directed towards Suzu, but as a reminder to myself to do better. Foraging instead of mindlessly sitting here. Not that I'd leave while he's awake. Suzu needed to be asleep so he'd not object to me acting like a criminal. Not only did he want to go to the surface, but he also dreamed of joining the Military Police. Since they're the strongest soldiers in their moral righteousness to keep the people safe, Suzu believed he'd never join them with a record.
Making sure we're alive is my job. Can't leave the Underground if you're dead, so I make sure that fate doesn't befall either of us. Being the older sibling (even if only by 3 three years) meant I needed to be the one taking care of us two, but I had few strengths when it comes to getting food into our mouths somewhat regularly. Little and quick, I easily scamper off amidbeginning werethe but I'd still been picked up by the scruff of my collar to be beaten on for stealing. Luck helped us get by so far with scraps falling off of wagons, fights in the market-leading to taking something unnoticed. Adults already had the advantage in the Underground, but other kids were much more dangerous. With me being around ten years old and Suzu only seven, we found ourselves being picked on and targeted by older teens. Only crawl spaces just big enough for us to fit into prevented constant harassment.
"This isn't where we should be, " Suzu growled on, ignoring me, "we should have a better life than this. It's only because Titans ate our parents that we ended up here. Once I join the Military Police, I'm going to become a hero and enjoy the comfort that I deserve. Not risking my life to leave the walls like those idiots."
While I didn't say anything, I wondered if I'd be allowed to live with him since we'd always been together since his birth. Scary to think of him not being there. I would be all alone in this terrible world if I didn't have Suzu. "You shouldn't talk about mom and dad like that," I softly rebuffed him.
Suzu's usually gentle brown eyes hardened at my words. "They abandoned us, Saph. If they cared about us at all, they wouldn't have fought a losing battle. Besides, only the top ten can get into the Military Police since those guys are the best of the best. Neither of them had what it takes, but I do," Suzu said with determination.
And the best of the best are the good guys, Suzu liked to remind me whenever I mentioned doing something illegal. Not wanting to destroy his dream, I readily accepted the dirty work like a big sister I should. As long as he could get out of here and live a happy life, I'd accept the burden of surviving down here. That was my job, and as long as Suzu was with me, I'd endure it without complaint.
"Suzu, I'm tired," I yawned, rubbing my eyes exaggeratedly. The glimmers of the moon dusted upon the cavern and all its occupants. Most now retreating towards their shacks and hobbles. Little differentiated our world between day and night, but people still preferred to sleep as if they lived above. A time to hold perfectly still and pray for safety while the crooks and thugs roamed about with lords as their masters. It'd be the perfect time to snag some coin or food since I'm almost impossible to spot in the dark. However, Suzu didn't need to know about my nightly activities.
Unaware of my intentions, Suzu leaped off of the building. "Since you're tired, I guess we should get going then," he teased. All toughness drained from his exterior as he held out his two hands. "Jump and I will catch you."
Our heights were almost the same, so I was worried about colliding with him only to have him fall backward.
"That's okay."
Wiggling his fingers at me, Suzu laughed. "Are you too scared?"
Fighting words! He's the baby, so of course, I had to prove myself! Bracing my feet against the rim, I pushed off the building and straight into his arms. "Nope. Just worried that you'd be too weak to catch me!"
My big toe ached as we kicked rocks into the air. Aiming at litter, bugs, or pests when we passed by. Suzu always attempted to smack into mine, but they usually rolled right past with the stones almost touching. After I sent another one flying, I felt a sting. Guessing I'd broken my toenail, I stopped participating. Suzu continued to dig them up from underneath the dirt with his shoes to put them about. If his feet couldn't do the job, he'd bend down and use his tiny fingers to wiggle them underneath to free them. A childish activity we always seemed to engage in as we headed home after wandering around for the day.
His last one shot into the side of the discarded wooden boxes shielding the tiny alcove behind that'd become our home. With a tiny entrance even we needed to crawl in, it provided safety. However, it also opened up into a space big enough for a few others to sleep in without anyone being worried about kicking another. The ceiling stretched above us, leaking sewage slightly. Standing on each other's shoulders, Suzu and I could still barely touch the stone above our heads even with us both being quite tall. The scarcity of food and nutrition did little in dampening our fast growth. Tall and skinny. Our skin seemed to stretch over our bones making it easy to count how many ribs we had. One rib. Two ribs. Three ribs.
"Did you find a job today?" I asked when we got into our sleeping spot. Nobles bent by lack of morals and driven by greed gave the poor's main opportunities for a living. Desperation drove men to labor, guard, and murder for the parasites. Willing to do anyone's bidding for the right amount of coin, they'd kill competition if they felt the job's good enough. Very little work of theirs could be considered remotely honest, but Suzu never gave up easily.
He pulled a coin out of his torn-up pants pocket. "See," he said, holding it up, "I got this for loading and unloading a merchant's cart."
"That's good." Probably stolen goods, but no need to tell him that. I pulled some blankets over us. Dried blood stains coated them, causing them to be dry and stiff. Not soft like the ones we had back home but it was okay. They kept us warm in the winter, and they prevented Suzu and I from freezing to death. It was hard finding anything else since nobody shared anything. Thankfully, the last owner died from a horrid disease so nobody else wanted them. They all worried they'd get it themselves, so I didn't have to fight for them. I'd told Suzu since it's not stealing because corpses don't need to be warm.
Our stomachs suddenly growled in unison. Almost asking if we'd be going bed hungry another night. "Hopefully, we will find something to eat tomorrow" I yawned, trying to be optimistic.
Beside me, Suzu patted my head gently. "Of course we will."
Only a few minutes passed until Suzu drifted off. No matter if he's hungry, sad, angry, or tired, he always became dead to the world quite quickly. Snores whistling into my ear, I tried to minimize the rustling of our blankets as I slipped out. I gave one last look at his relaxed, sleeping face before getting on my knees and crawling through the opening.
My feet smacked the rooftops of the buildings, no hesitation clouding my motion as my limbs comfortably maneuvered to jump the spaces and over people's heads. Each step taken as if there's no doubt solid ground would be underneath. Twisting up onto the top of the various run-down structures had become a simple task after years of practice. I'd become familiar with the maze and constantly trekking within sharpened my muscles and nerves to survive. Boards creaked underneath my weight, the sound groaning like the dying below me.
We'd been victims in the beinning. All of our clothes stolen the moment we'd been forced down here. Men with bats and knives had yanked at the last reminders of our old home. Ripping away anything in our arms we'd struggled to bring down here with us. Their callous and cruel nature causing them to bully us even though we held nothing they wanted. In a moment we'd gone from being clean, innocent children that smell of flowers from their mother's garden to discarded trash. Like all who experience the death of day, ruthlessness burrowed into our bones replacing the fragility within.
A transformation forced upon us as an old lady with overgrown nails scratched at my eyes while taking my hat. The pointed edge scraped my cheek, mixing blood with snot and tears. A young man shoved Suzue to the ground to rip his shoes off despite the bawling. Only afterward, when we had nothing else to offer, were we abandoned by the stairs we'd entered from. Nothing was broken, but I still hobbled my beaten half-naked body to where Suzu laid curled up with his arms covering the back of his head. During the scuffle, someone threw him into a puddle of piss making him reek. Suzu only whimpered softly as I approached. Too scared to move, he lied there, soaking in the waste.
Never wanted him to experience that torture ever again, I now preyed on those with power. wandering the streets in their fancy clothes and jewels. Quick fingers and a quicker mind helped me pickpocket anything unnecessarily heavy they might be carrying. Panting slightly, I settled comfortably into one of my favorite lookout spots to await the passing of someone who appeared to have a little something to spare.
Hours ticked by, and I began to feel faint with exhaustion. Everyone who'd passed underneath had either been in rags or too paranoid for me to find a chance to sneak in. Arrogant fools were what I needed. Rich overconfident pigs dressed in elaborate attire as if they weren't walking in a breathing graveyard. My body began to get weary from the tension and anxiety pulling it taunt. Maybe tonight would just not be my night. The thought of giving up traveled through my mind briefly before I man adorned in brightly colored clothes sweating fiercely scurried by. Dark large blotches underneath his arms seemed to enlargen. Wherever the man might be going, he'd been at it for a while.
He weaved his way in the smaller alleyways, staying out of the main street. Too decadent. Too focused on his task at hand. Probably wouldn't mind me sneaking a few items from his coat pocket. Hopefully, food or coins. Easing in with the shadows, I began to tail my prey. Although the man was clearly out of shape, he continued going fast enough that I needed to concentrate on not being spotted while I hurriedly followed. Pebbles scratched in the dirt, and I tried to remain as quiet as possible.
"You must be running out of breath soon," I hissed. Just as I spoke his steps became unsteady and he began to wobble as if on the verge of collapse. His wet pants and wheezes echoed in the tight space. With only a few scattered lights from lamps inside houses permeating the Underground to offer any assistance in seeing, I squinted to find him sitting down on the curb.
Waving a handkerchief in his red face, it seemed apparent that he never fought to survive. That he lived a good life. The bastard probably never had to worry about food or shelter. Never had to consider if his sibling and he might not survive to see the next day.
Weariness reflected in his features as he exhaled loudly, making me confident that I had time to get down from my vantage point. Concentrating on being stealthy, I scaled the walls to get across. Tiptoeing, I focused on a wooden crate that'd easily conceal me as I plucked the money from his overstuffed purse. Whinnies and commands filled my ears as a horse-drawn carriage passed nearby. Too late did I realize that it distracted me long enough for my victim to get up and start running again. Thankfully, I was in luck. Another man had eased into his place instead.
Dressed in a rich black coat with a matching hat resting on his head, the rim dipped low enough to obscure his face from my view. I couldn't tell where he might be looking because of it. Maybe it'd be easy to swipe off just something with a little worth. Maybe we wouldn't have to go hungry tomorrow night. Maybe Suzu wouldn't look so sad with a full belly. I reached into the pocket of his black trench coat.
Desperation evolved into my downfall as I realized his slitted eyes caught had caught me long before my fingers began to dip in. He moved so fast that I only realized I'd been caught when an unbearable amount of pressure began to build in my wrist. Instinct took over, and I tried to wrench my hand away toabandonedis vice-like grip only tightened as I futilely resisted. Tugging and yanking as panic set in.
"What do we have here? A lowly pickpocketer?" My feet lifelessly dangled in the air as he held me up to inspect the expression of fear contorting my mouth into a silent scream. "A piece of scum no less." Swinging me up high, the man let go at the last moment to send me straight into the wall. My back smacked into the hard surface with a solid thump.
Get up. Get up. I cried to my crippled frame, immobilized by terror and agony. I'm dead if I stay on the ground. The man casually walked over, as if it's an everyday occurrence for him to assault a helpless child. Who knows, might be since the Underground's brimming with people who take enjoyment in dishing out pain to others. I hoped for instant death instead of a long process that involved extending a miserable existence to the very end. My only regret would be that there's nobody to care for Suzu if I don't survive.
Over and over, he landed swift kicks onto my stomach. Curled up into a ball, I couldn't even make a move for the knife tucked against my ankle for fear a blow would knock me unconscious if I let up on the defense. He sent a black boot flying into my gut, making me double over as I coughed horribly. Shrinking into myself, I tried to protect my upper body as I begged him to stop. More blows rained onto me, and I offered anything I could think of to spare my life. To just make him stop. Another kick sent my head snapping up as my chin throbbed.
"This is boring. I thought you'd put up a bigger fight," he noted in a monotone voice.
Another figure appeared a little hazily into the corner of my vision. Terrified that he'd join in with the other to punish me, I braced for another onslaught. Instead, he simply gave me a scathing look before turning to his partner. "Kenny. I can see you are having a ton of fun out here beating up this child, but we need to get going."
Kenny glared at the man. I briefly wondered if the man spoke out of some compassion or concern for my wellbeing or they truly needed to leave. Didn't matter much as long as Kenny left. Wrinkling up his nose, he spit on me. The slimy gob stuck into my hair. "Fine. Let's get going."
They left my crumpled body in the dirt with clouds of dust collecting into nostrils with each labored breath. A sneeze left me trembling as sharp pangs shot into my sides. Dragging myself into a corner and away from any prying eyes, I let my consciousness fade. My body and mind needed just a moment to recover.
A few hours passed since I'd been thoroughly incapacitated. The only thing I wanted to do was to go back to my brother's side and be whisked away to a place without pain bearing down on me. I wanted to pretend this whole experience had just been one long nightmare. Lasting long into the night but all over in the morning. I staggered and fell a few times, but eventually, I caught my bearings enough to be able to stumble towards the general direction of home. Any person rushing by could've easily knocked me over. A smack of colliding shoulders would be all that's needed to send me reeling.
All confidence in my ability, shattered by that one man. A newfound conviction burned within me. Never again I'd taste the bitterness of defeat. I'd train longer and harder from now on. No more being helpless and. Even if it took me forever to become as strong as him, I'd do it.
Oddly, Suzu didn't appear to be inside when I collapsed onto our makeshift bed composed of rags. Near collapse once again, I didn't have the energy to contemplate where he might've run off to. The boy probably just went out to pee or something.
Drifting in and out of consciousness, time drifted between day and night. Merging into one without me noticing. Only my ragged breathing continued to penetrate the cold stone walls. I only slowly approached the realization that Suzu never came back.
"Suzu?" I groaned again as I roughly rubbed away the dreariness. Sighing heavily, I realized that the cloth surrounding me felt cold to the touch. Worry began to build, and I struggled to stand up. My legs wobbled and I felt achs rippling all over me. I resisted the urge to just collapse into my makeshift bed again. No. My little brother might need him, I had to go out and look.
Peeling off my blemished clothes, I scrounged up a shirt slightly less filthy than the one hanging off of me now. Not clean, but nothing down here was. After raking my fingers through my tangled messed-up curls once, I headed out.
I made my way to the bustle of the marketplace. Majority of jobs are found there. A hangout spot for anyone looking for cheap labor. Not seeing him darting around the stalls, I left. My heart began to pound as I sprinted towards the underside of the Underground. Whorehouses and bars filled the majority of the place. Gunshots and shouts ricocheted within my brain as gambling went on beside me. While the Underground was a terrible place in every corner, there existed a certain section that contained the worst. It was also the one place where someone always found a job as long as no morals got in the way. Suzu never would have come down here under normal circumstances, but waking up to find your sister bloody and beaten might have led him to do something extreme.
Not a trace of his presence exited and nobody gave me any details no matter how much I paid. Gold coins that had taken me forever to get now shakingly being exchanged for information that turned how to be of no help. When there was nothing left, I began to scream his name as I raced about. He had to be somewhere. He knew that I needed him! If he wasn't by my side, I'd have no one. Nothing
I cried out in pain as my heart constricted and my thoughts blurred together. Fear handcuffed me to adrenaline that pushed past the throbbing. Left utterly alone. Completely bandoned. My worst nightmare come to life.
If I just hadn't left that night, he would still be by my side. This was my fault. All my fault. I couldn't protect him. When nothing emitted from my unlocked jaws even as I tried to scream, I finally disintegrated into a sobbing mess. Passersby only gave me a glance before continuing on their merry way. Scratching the dirt with my nails, I let myself hang there. On the edge of despair with nothingness stretched out in front of me. What reason did I have to live now? To spend years with dirt as my bed, only to die in a ditch later on? A lifetime alone was one I wasn't willing to suffer through. The horror of having no one sunk in, coupled with exhaustion it bent my will in the direction of absolute self-destruction.
Dragging my hand over to my boot, I pulled my knife out. The trusty blade seemed to glisten though no light reflected off of it. A present from Suzu. Something found in the depths of a dead man's ribcage. Would taking my life to reunite me with my little brother? Was he not only taken away by me but this world itself? Or would I only be damning Suzu to stay here alone?
The blade didn't seem as bright anymore as I stared at the point resting beneath my collarbone. Suzu was my everything and the one person who kept me sane for all these years. Deserting him would not be my payment for his kindness. After slipping the knife back to its original place, I began to limp back to the place I called home. I'd need rest to gather my strength until I could properly search for my missing family member. If I found him, I wouldn't be alone anymore.
Little did I know, for the next three years of my life, I'd spend it in a constant, lonely hunt. Every potential placed he might be hiding had been scraped clean by this point. Since the Underground held no promise, I decided that I'd have to continue above.
Kenny had become the sole enemy I thought of as I trained. My hands began to welcome the warmth of blood, and my nose began to find comfort in its copper smell. It meant that I was living. Survival was the utmost necessity if I was going to find my brother. I needed to get above ground, and nothing's getting in my way.