January

"Dad! Dad!" Drew yelled while running out of school.

Jay laughed and caught him as he collided with his legs, "I'm guessing you had a good first day back?"

Drew nodded quickly, "Ms. Sampson knew that my last name was different!"

Jay smiled and squatted in front of him, "So what did we learn?"

Drew blushed and pulled at his hat with a shrug.

Jay zipped up Drew's coat more, "Maybe that you worried about nothing last night even though Mom and I told you everything was going to be okay?"

Drew kicked at the ground softly and mumbled, "Maybe."

Jay breathed out and tugged Drew against his chest, "It's okay to be nervous, but-"

"I know," Drew said quietly.

Jay squeezed him gently, "I love you and Mom loves you."

Drew smiled into Jay's coat and nodded.

"Hey," Jay chuckled and poked Drew's side, "Say it back."

Drew laughed and stepped away with a shrug.

"Oh, so you're going to be sassy now?" Jay stood and teasingly shoved Drew's arm, "I see how it is."

Drew laughed harder, "You're the sassy one. Mom says it all the time."

Jay smirked and picked up Drew, "We're going to talk about this at home."

"But I do love you," Drew said through his laughter, "I do!"

"Little too late, bud," Jay laughed and carried him to the car.

February

Hailey plopped onto the couch next to Jay with a sigh, "He's asleep…finally."

Jay looked up from feeding Blake, "You think it's just a cold?"

"Definitely," Hailey ran a hand through her hair and smiled at Blake, "Look at him go."

Jay chuckled, "He's getting bigger."

"Thank god," Hailey breathed.

Jay placed the bottle on the side table and lifted Blake to his shoulder to pat his back, "We just have to keep in mind what the doctor said the other day. He's a month behind a typical baby and that's okay."

Hailey raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "You were paying attention?"

"What?" Jay glanced at her, "Obviously."

"Oh, obviously?" Hailey laughed, "Jay, after the nurse gave him his shots, you were having a rough time."

"He was crying, Hailey," Jay said.

She blew out her breath and scooted closer to Jay to place one hand on Jay's shoulder and the other on Blake's back, "Jay…"

"Whatever," Jay mumbled and slid his hand up to Blake's hair.

"Hey," Hailey said softly and rubbed her thumb in circles, "I get it, okay? I'm not mad."

Jay smiled slightly and looked at her, "I know."

Hailey pushed herself up and kissed his cheek before whispering in his ear, "Figures this is how our first Valentine's day as parents goes, right?"

Jay laughed and turned his head to kiss her quickly, "Yeah, sounds about right." He watched her gaze slide back to Blake. He took a deep breath, "What do you say we take that mini vacation Voight got us for Christmas in the next week or two?"

Hailey's eyes shot up, "Jay."

"What?" he chuckled softly, "Hailey, come on, we deserve some alone time. It'll just be a few days and we'll be downtown, it's not far at all. We're not even back to work yet, but we will be in March. Plus, everyone else took theirs, we're behind."

"No one else has a baby," Hailey said, "Let alone a baby with issues."

"He doesn't have issues," Jay rolled his eyes, "He's a preemie and he's doing really well, remember?"

"I can't leave him," Hailey shook her head.

Jay chewed his lip and watched her eyes. He could tell she was close to panicking and reliving every time Blake had shook in their arms from his drug withdrawals since he'd been born.

He glanced over at Blake and shifted him so he was laying in his arms again, "What if we take him with us?"

Hailey thought for a moment then smiled slightly, "You're okay with that?"

"Spending one-on-one time with our kid before we send him to daycare next month?" Jay laughed, "Yeah, I'm okay with that."

Hailey's smile widened and she nodded quickly, "Then let's do that. I'll ask Will in the morning if he'd be free to watch Drew for the weekend, if he can't, I'll ask Kim. I'm sure she'd say yes since we watched Cara when they went on theirs."

"Perfect," Jay wrapped an arm around her and slid down against the cushions.

Hailey rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes while whispering, "Happy Valentine's Day, Jay."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head, "Happy Valentine's Day, Hailey Anne."

March

Jay paced the bedroom, "How long's it been?"

Hailey sat up from laying on the bed and glanced at her phone, "45 seconds."

"Dammit," Jay breathed and rubbed his face with both hands.

"Would you stop moving and just sit here please?" Hailey asked.

Jay groaned quietly, but sat next to her on the mattress.

Hailey looked at him and the way his hands were wringing together in his lap. She took a deep breath and reached over to place her hand on top of his.

Jay glanced up at her, "How are you calm?"

Hailey laughed softly, "I'm not. I'm freaking out."

"You don't look it," Jay said.

Hailey smiled and hugged him, pressing her face in his neck, "This is scary. We're in no place to have another baby right now."

"Instead of two-under-two, it'd be two-under…" Jay trailed off as he did the math in his head then said, "Thirteen months."

Hailey gripped his shirt and shook her head, "Don't talk about it right now."

Jay nodded and rubbed his hands over her back, "Whatever happens, it'll be okay."

"I know," Hailey whispered, "I just feel stupid for thinking we were going to be fine with me forgetting my birth control on that stupid trip."

Jay sighed then leaned down enough to breathe in her ear, "I don't think anything we did on that trip was stupid. I'd rank it top ten."

Hailey closed her eyes and laughed, "I guess."

Jay smirked and kissed the side of her head before running his fingers through her hair.

"How much longer?" Hailey asked quietly.

Jay glanced to his watch, "Probably 30 more seconds."

Hailey nodded and tightened her hold on Jay. She tried keeping her breathing steady, but she could feel her heart beat faster and faster with each passing second.

Finally, the alarm on Hailey's phone sounded and Jay quickly turned it off.

"One more minute," Hailey mumbled into Jay's shirt, "Let's just take in this last minute of being a family of four."

Jay smiled sadly, "Hailey…"

She took one last deep breath then sat up, "Okay, I'm ready."

Jay stood with her and grabbed her hand, "Together."

They walked into their attached bathroom, Hailey's teeth digging into her bottom lip and Jay's hand sweating.

"Ready?" Hailey whispered.

Jay nodded and squeezed her hand.

Hailey closed her eyes briefly then picked up the pregnancy test. She breathed out and held it up for them both to see the words on the tiny screen.

"Well," Jay nodded and weakly laughed.

Hailey closed her eyes again and set the pregnancy test down on the counter before leaning over the sink and taking several deep breaths.

Jay set a hand on her back, "It's okay, Hails. Not pregnant is a good answer right now."

"I know," she looked up at him through the mirror, "I'm just…wow."

Jay smiled slightly and hugged her back to him, "Did a small part of you want it to be positive?"

"Honestly?" Hailey asked.

"Of course," Jay said.

"Yes," Hailey admitted, "I feel like we could have made it work."

"I agree," Jay squeezed her gently.

Hailey rested her head back against his chest and watched them in the mirror. She lifted her shirt slightly and stared at her stomach, "Remember the first time we ever talked about what I'd look like pregnant?"

"Hmm," Jay ghosted his hands over her bare skin, "I don't…I don't think so."

Hailey shrugged, "I don't remember too much about the conversation, but I remember we were still in the apartment and it was hot as hell and I decided right then and there that I will never be pregnant in the summer."

Jay laughed, "How are we going to guarantee that?"

Hailey turned in his arms, "It's really not too hard. I'll just play around with some dates, do the math, and take my birth control until it's promised that I won't be pregnant in the summer."

Jay brushed her hair back, "And what summer do you not want to be pregnant in? This summer…next summer…two summers from now?"

"Next summer," Hailey grabbed his hand, "What do you say to having a baby in the next year? Maybe get pregnant at the end of August so I don't have to deal with morning sickness in the heat?"

Jay smiled and was about to reply when there was a loud cry from the monitor in their bedroom. He laughed and glanced out the door where the monitor was sitting on his nightstand, "I don't know if Blake's too thrilled at the idea of not being the baby of the family anymore, but I'm down."

Hailey laughed with him and gently shoved his chest before walking out of their room and heading down the hall, "Mommy's coming, baby boy."

April

Hailey walked up to the bullpen with Drew's hand held tightly in hers, "You can go sit in the break room while Dad and I work."

"No, no, there's windows in there," Drew shook his head quickly.

Vanessa looked up from her desk and smiled, "Hey, little dude, come to hang out with us today?"

"I wanted to go home," Drew whined and pulled at Hailey's hand.

There was a crash of thunder outside that caused Hailey to wince, "Drew-"

He slipped out of Hailey's grip and started running down the side hallway right into Hank.

"Whoa, hey," Hank straightened him up, "What're you doing?"

Drew panted and pushed past him to continue running until Jay stepped out of the observation room in time to grab him around the waist, "No you don't."

Drew whimpered and scratched at Jay's hands, "We have to go. It's not safe. The storm – the storm isn't safe."

"You're okay," Jay carried him back to the bullpen, "We are safe here, it's the safest place to be."

Vanessa snorted, but tried hiding it by drinking from her water bottle.

"Drew, you cannot run," Hailey crossed her arms.

"I've already scratched so I don't care about rules right now," Drew said and squirmed in Jay's hands.

"You what?" Jay asked and sat in his chair with Drew in his lap.

Drew blushed and whined at the next boom of thunder.

"Let me see," Hailey said softly and knelt in front of them. She gently slid Drew's rain jacket off and looked over his arms, "Oh, sweetheart. Jay, look."

Jay glanced down and tightened his arms around Drew, "Buddy…"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Drew kicked his legs.

Hailey bit her lip and made eye contact with Jay, "Maybe…"

"No," Jay shook his head, "Hailey, we need to wrap this up."

"I can take him home," Hailey whispered.

Jay sighed and rubbed his face, "But…all this paperwork and Kim and Kevin are out talking to that CI…"

"I'll work from home," Hailey helped Drew back into his jacket, "Come on, I'm going to take you to pick up Blake from daycare and then we'll go home and hangout in bed."

Jay shook his head and pursed his lips as he turned away.

"See you in a bit," Hailey kissed the side of Jay's head and walked away with Drew.

Hank stepped out of his office to lean against the door and cross his arms, "Does she realize this isn't exactly a work-from-home job?"

Jay rolled his eyes and started typing on his computer, "Yup."

Hank stepped closer to him, "If she's thinking about quitting-"

"She's not," Jay said quickly, "Drew just hates the rain."

"If you say so," Hank sighed and went back in his office.

Jay closed his eyes and rubbed his face with a groan. Hailey back at work wasn't exactly Hailey 'back at work' lately and it was starting to push his buttons.

May

Jay whispered, "Open the door for me."

"My hands are full," Drew said and held up the small stack of presents in his arms.

"I have Buzz and food," Jay hissed, "Just nudge it."

Drew sighed and carefully kicked the door, "Hey, it opened."

Jay rolled his eyes, but still smiled and nodded toward the room, "Head in there."

Drew finally smiled himself and hurried in the room, "Mom. Hey, Mom, wake up."

Jay laughed, "Drew, be softer, like when you're talking to Buzz."

"Sorry," Drew whispered and set the presents on the floor before going over to the bed and rubbing Hailey's side, "Good morning, Mom."

Hailey's eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him, "Hi."

"What do you say?" Jay asked while sitting on the edge of the mattress with Blake in one arm and a plate of muffins in the other hand.

"Oh," Drew blushed, "Happy Mother's Day."

Hailey's smile widened and she sat up, "Thank you!" She hugged him tightly and kissed the side of his head, "This was the best way to wake up," she turned to Jay with her hands out, "Let me see my baby."

Jay winked at Drew, "Me? Hailey, the kids are here."

Hailey laughed, "My baby baby."

Jay chuckled and leaned over to pass her Blake, "Happy Mother's Day," he kissed her lightly.

"Thank you," Hailey breathed and hugged Blake to her chest, "I love you all so much."

Blake babbled into her shirt then looked up at her, reaching for her hair to tug it.

Hailey laughed softly, "Hey, what're you doing to Mommy? What have we said about pulling hair?"

Drew picked up one of the boxes and held it out to her, "This is from me."

Hailey smiled at him as she laid Blake next to her, "You didn't have to get me anything."

"I did," Drew sat next to her, "Do you want it?"

"Of course," Hailey kissed his head before unwrapping the gift, "Thank you."

Drew played with his fingers in anticipation and tried holding back his smile.

Hailey opened the box, "Did you make this?" She pulled out a mug that said 'Best Mom Ever' in Drew's handwriting and a stick figure drawing of the two of them on it.

Drew nodded quickly, "In school. Isn't it cool?"

"I love it so much," Hailey hugged him to her side, "Thank you, I'm going to use it every day."

Drew gasped softly and looked at Jay, "You were right."

Jay winked and laughed, "Told you."

Drew squeezed Hailey, "Thank you for adopting me."

"Oh," Hailey softened and rubbed his back, "Drew, adopting you was one of the best decisions Dad and I have ever made."

"What about Buzz?" Drew asked.

Hailey laughed softly, "He's the other best decision we've made."

Drew pulled away from her to look down at Blake kicking around on the bed, "I like our family."

June

Hailey took a long sip of her water before asking Kim, "How's the wedding planning going?"

Kim looked up from playing with Blake on the picnic blanket with a weak laugh and shook her head, "Stressful. I don't know how you did it in two weeks."

"With everyone's help," Hailey lightly pushed her arm, "Come on, Vanessa and I want to help more. You have about two months."

"You both just have so much going on," Kim said, "I don't want to be a bother."

"You're not a bother," Hailey shook her head.

"Aunt Hailey!" Cara yelled in time for Hailey to look up and see the soccer ball roll into her leg.

She tossed it back to them, "Go long!"

Drew and Cara laughed as they chased it along the grass.

Kim nodded toward Adam and Jay talking as they waited for Cara and Drew, "How was Father's Day?"

"You're deflecting," Hailey laughed softly, but shrugged, "It was nice. We went to an Irish restaurant and I didn't think he could get that happy over food."

Kim smiled, "That's super sweet. We had a barbeque with Adam's dad."

"How'd that go?" Hailey asked, "Is Cara doing better around them all?"

"Yeah," Kim breathed out, "We're just trying short periods of time and sticking to meals so she doesn't feel like she has to do anything certain. Now that she's been calling us 'Mom' and 'Dad,' things with our families seems to have gotten easier."

Hailey shook her head, "I love when she calls him 'Dadam.'"

Kim laughed, "So do I. I think it started as a slip, but it's been sticking lately and it's the cutest thing. She's actually called me 'Kimommy' a couple times and I don't hate it."

Hailey laughed with her, "She's the sweetest."

"She's going to be the cutest flower girl in the world," Kim said, "And I cannot wait."

July

Jay whispered, "I'm sorry for waking you up."

"Don't be," Hailey squeezed his hand, "Thank you for doing it."

Jay put his head in his hands with a low groan.

"Breathe for me," Hailey said while rubbing circles over the back of his shirt, "It's okay, you're okay."

Jay shook his head, "I hate this. It had been a few weeks."

"I know," Hailey breathed, "But you can't control dreams, they just happen. Keep that in mind. This isn't your fault."

"How isn't it my fault?" Jay mumbled.

"Don't even start," Hailey slid her hand up and stroked her thumb along his neck.

Jay took a deep breath and glanced up at her, "How can I ever sleep in the same bed with you while you're pregnant if I can't go a couple weeks without some sort of nightmare?"

"It's not a 'you' problem," Hailey said, "It's not even a problem. This is for us to battle head-on and I think we've done a pretty decent job at it. It's just a challenge, Jay, nothing we can't handle."

Jay bit his lip then straightened up and shakily hugged her, "Thank you."

Hailey kissed the side of his head, "I love you."

Jay smiled slightly, "I love you too."

"And when I get pregnant, we are going to be okay," Hailey continued softly, pulling back to look him in the eyes, "You're going to be okay. I'll be okay. Our kids are going to be okay. We are going to be okay."