One cozy morning in November an owl dropped a letter. And a large leather bound book.

"Thought you'd like some photos of your family so I owl'd some of their old school friends."

Reubeus Hagrid, groundskeeper.

Harry opened the book and his eyes surprisingly lit up. He was looking at a multitude of old wizarding photographs of lily and James Potter. He loved his Dads but lately he'd been curious about where he had come from.

He was almost a carbon copy of James Potter he found. He had Lilly Potters bright green eyes. He saw one page was devoted entirely to their wedding. A sandy haired sheepish man that reminded him of Uncle Moxie and a wild manned dark haired man clasped James Potters shoulders.

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black

Sirius Black...

So this was him...

Harry stared at the laughing drinking man for a while with a sense of foreboding.

"And that's enough of that I can tell already what's coming." Harry closes the book to peruse it later alone.

"You can?" Draco asked having been enjoying looking at the old pictures too.

"Yep. Sirius is my human Godfather. Why is e not around? I'll tell you. He's in jail because one of their friends betrayed my parents and blamed it on him you wait and see."

"I know Black is in Azkaban-"

"That's wizard jail right?"

"Essentially bit it's really extreme-"

"How extreme?"

After a description of Azkaban from an older student Harry's jaw dropped in Horror.

"Why the absolute fuck do you tolerate these creatures?!" Harry demanded. "They'd be exterminated on sight in Hell by Lord Lucifer himself! Even Lucifer understands the value of a Human soul is irreplacable even if they where a horrible person!"

"He does?"

"Uh, hello? Fallen Angel?" Harry demanded. "Don't you guys read any religious history in the wizarding world?"

"No."

Harry sighed then launched into the story of Lucifer's rebellion against God.

"And so God cast Lucifer and his followers out of Heaven into the pit of fire to burn for eternity. However, Lucifer decided to create a more dignified society than what his Heavenly Father wanted and we have what we have today. A chaotic society of Earths worst souls."

"Huh."

"Yep."

"All right."

"So tell me how I can break Sirius out?"

"...doesn't your dad have access to a magical book that basically gives him access to anywhere on Earth?"

"I'll be right back I have to...go do some research."

2 weeks later...

Emerald Prince: Dad...How much do you love me?

Proud Papa Imp: I'd rip the fucking eyes out of someone who so much as crossed you. What's your plan?

Emerald Prince: How do you feel about breaking a possibly innocent wizarding prisoner out of a magical prison with soul sucking monsters patrolling constantly?

Proud Papa Imp: Seriously? These people value the soul that little?

Emerald Prince: they view it as the ultimate punishment that bad wizards deserve.

Proud Papa Imp: Christ on a stick whose the extraction target?

Emerald Prince: Sirius Orion Black. My mortal Godfather. Everything about his relationship with my parents screams betrayal and false imprisonments.

Proud Papa Imp: Christ in drag what is your life a cliche filled middle schoolers wet dream fantasy series?

Emerald Prince: All it needs now is an extremely vague prophecy that didn't need to even happen.

Proud Papa Imp: Does Stolas need to know about this?

Emerald Prince: Not until it's over.

Proud Papa Imp: send anything you can on these Dementor things and send it to us so Mox Mills And I can prepare a battle plan.

Emerald Prince: Dad thank you I love you so much.

Proud Papa Imp: Oh stop I know you do kiddo. Go to class and I'll tell Mox and Mills our new job.

Blitzo slammed his phone on his desk breaking it again. Bringing out his megaphone he shouted "M and M to the conference room we're planning a prison break!"

"Explain yourself sir?" Moxxie demanded. "Isn't this outside our usual forte of murder and mayhem?"

"Special case Mox." Special circumstances."

On the white board he wrote down the players in Harry's working theory on his parents death.

Potters Death Work In Progress Theory

Players

Remus Lupin (awol, werewolf)

Sirius Black (imprisoned)

Peter Pettigrew (Deceased?")

Moxie Millie and Loona watched Blitzo write Suspects on the board with an arrow.

"Alright shut your holes here's what Harry's worked out so far. We know the Potters where in hiding when they where killed and only 1 trusted individual was supposed to know their exact location.

He circled Sirius Blacks name.

"Sirius Black was their so called Secret Keeper. From what Harry was told about this fancy ass magic spell was that it made only one person able to know exactly where they were in hiding."

"So then only this Secret Keeper could divulge the targets location." Millie said.

"Exactly. Buuut. Harry thinks they switched. To another implausible target."

He circled Pettigrew.

"Gathering info on Pettigrew Harry suspects he was the one who betrayed his parents and quite possibly faked his death. According to research from Ministry Files he requested Sirius Black allegedly cornered Pettigrew and then blew up an entire street full of non magical to kill him. The only thing that they ever found of him was a severed finger."

"Severing a limb or a digit is more often a deliberate action not something that happens at random." Moxxie pointed out.

"Exactly. That's what makes Harry think Black was set up. According to research he sent me everyone knew James Potter trusted Black with his own life so he would be the obvious choice for a Secret Keeper.

"So then they changed to Pettigrew at the last minute?" Loona finished.

"Exactly. Now no ones heard hide or hair or fur in this case from Lupin for the last eleven years Harry's been missing. So I don't really think he's involved much if at all."

"Poor guy lost everything ya can't blame him for wanting to disappear and grieve I guess." Millie said as she filed her nails.

"Yeah that's what I thought." Blitzo said. "So, here's what we have to do. Black is being held on an Alkatraz esque island called Azkaban. It's the wizarding prison. Their worst of their worst go here. Now getting there won't be the issue. There's one major problem.

Blitzo made a crude drawing of a grim reaper looking figure. Dementor. He drew an arrow pointing to the drawing.

"These are representing dementors as I don't know exactly what they look like. From what Harry's told me about them their to be avoided at all cost. Not only do they suck any happiness and joy out of an immidiate area they have a constant frost aura spreading out into their immediate surroundings. Now I know Fire doesn't hurt Imps but I don't know about Frost so we need to be prepared for this."

"Right. Just in case they can sense body heat we'll need infrared proof clothes." Millie said. "I know just the guy."

"Wow Millie That shark really came through. Stylish functional, comfy and design of our choice!"

Blitzo was wearing a hand made design of his husbands various orgasm faces.

"Sir why are you wearing that now?" Moxie asked.

"Blitzo slurped on a iced coffee. "Comfy. Alright let's do this."

Blitzo brought out the book and Millie came in With a bag full of tools.

"Alright Loonie you know what to do keep an eye out for a quick text.

"Got it." Loona said from the couch playing a video game.

Blitzo flipped open the book on the table waved his fingers over it and created a portal to a miserable looking rock.

"Wow." Moxie said grimly.

"Holy shit you weren't kidding what a miserable place to be."

"Did Harry manage to find out what cell Black was in?" Moxie asked.

"Fuuuuck." Blitzo said before jumping into the portal.

To Be Continued...

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I was gonna do the dragon egg arc and decided on an early prison break instead! Hope you guys enjoy! Also I've started the first ever Harry Potter/Bojack Horseman crossover A Horse and a Boy Wizard. Go check it out!