Chapter 34.
"Say it one more time Bella . . ." I begged, grinning ear to ear. The excitement of hearing Bella tell me that she wanted to become a vampire felt like it may never wear off. My reaction had made all of her doubts and insecurities go away and I'd felt her trust in me strengthen once again.
"Jasper, how many more times are you going to make me say it?" She laughed as I pulled her into an embrace and planted kisses all along the side of her face. She eased back after a moment and looked into my eyes with a big smile on her face before carefully placing a kiss on my lips. I moved my hand to cradle the back of her head and deepened the kiss, pouring all of my love into her. The energy between us hummed and swirled and suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotion, realizing that we really were the perfect match and maybe we really would have forever together. Though I knew that this was only one hurdle in the race, it felt like a huge weight had lifted off of my shoulders. I pulled back to let her catch her breath and I couldn't help but apologize for my stubbornness. I'd been waiting for Bella to ask me to become a vampire, all the while knowing what her insecurities were. She had a hard time accepting that I could even love her, and yet I'd expected her to come out ask me to make an eternity long commitment to her. I should have been the one offering forever to her, it was cruel to make her question my intentions with her.
"Bella I'm so sorry, I should have known that it was going to take a lot for you to ask me this, I was being bull headed. Alice told me that I should put the option on the table, but I needed to know it would truly be your choice. I didn't want you to think I was pushing you into my world. I love you Bella, I've thought about this moment more times than you can imagine."
"That's what Emmett tried to tell me, he said we were probably both being stubborn, I guess he was right."
"For once." I said, a bit surprised. Emmett wasn't the typical source of logical thinking or advice.
"So what now . . . when can we do it? I mean do we do it here or should we go somewhere?" She asked, speaking quickly and excitedly, I hated to disappoint her.
"Hold on Bella - uh, not so fast. This isn't a decision we need to make over night. We'll need to come up with a plan and a timeline." I felt a pang of disappointment from her, though she tried to fight it off.
"But what about Edward? If you changed me wouldn't that solve everything?"
"It is the easiest solution to deter him Bella, but my family has laid down roots here. Your father is the Chief of Police and he knows that we're dating. Hell, I think by now most of Forks probably knows we're dating. If we just disappeared your father would never stop looking for answers and it could lead him down a dangerous road." I stroked her hair and let her mull over her questions.
"Couldn't we just like . . . I don't know, fake a car accident or something?" She asked after a moment.
"We could, but I don't think you know what you're asking. Do you really want to leave your parents behind with that tragedy as their last memory of you? If I would have had a choice, I wouldn't have wanted to leave my family the way that I did."
"I mean . . . no, I guess not. That would be hard on them." She sighed.
"We could leave quietly, tell them we're going off to 'college' and you could could write letters, keep in touch until you slowly have to fade away from their lives, but at least they'll know you're out there and that you're happy."
"Somehow that doesn't sound much better. At least if I faked my death they wouldn't think that I abandoned them and didn't care. Couldn't I still see them? I mean you guys go around humans - " I had to cut off her dangerous train of thought.
"Bella, it won't be possible for you to see them. For the first year or so you'll be overcome with bloodlust, hardly able to control yourself around humans. We'll have to lay low somewhere far enough away from civilization. We own several cabins between here and Alaska, one of those would suffice. Then, once you finally are able to control yourself, there's the matter of your appearance." I felt a wave of confusion from her as she re-positioned her self to get more comfortable on the couch, tucking her knees up to her chest.
"What will be wrong with my appearance?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing will be wrong, but you'll look a bit . . . different, enough that it'll be noticeable. It tends to enhance your features, though I can't imagine you possibly becoming any more beautiful Miss Swan." She blushed and fought a grin and I found myself fighting one too. I'd only just been imagining her glistening in the sun and running along side me this morning and soon enough, it would become a reality. "The biggest differences are that your skin will be paler and your features more pronounced. Your voice will be more melodic and your eyes will be red."
"Red? Won't they be like yours?" Her face twisted with confusion.
"Yes, but naturally vampires have red eyes, unless we're thirsty, then they're black. My family and I only have golden eyes because we drink animal blood, but it takes time for it to run its course. It'll be a few months before yours turn."
"Okay, so what else is there to know? I wanna know everything. What is it really like being a vampire?" She asked with intrigue.
"Well, it's kind of hard to explain. It may overwhelm you at first, like you're really seeing for the first time. Suddenly you can see every spec of dust in the air, you hear every spider hiding in the corner. Colors seem more vibrant and have more depth, everything is just more. You'll suddenly be incredibly strong and fast, which takes some getting used to. You'll be the strongest one in the family as new born, even stronger than Emmett. Running will feel like second nature, you'll never get tired and you never have to stop to catch your breath. It is a bit odd at first, breathing without the relief, not feeling your heart beat in your chest, but you get used to it."
"Will I still be this clumsy?" She rolled her eyes and chuckled.
"I'm afraid not." I sighed, realizing that there were going to be quite a few things that I would miss about human Bella, but there were many more pros than cons to her turning. I knew that there would be a whole new world of things about her to fall in love with once she was a vampire, things I couldn't even possibly begin to imagine yet.
"You say that like it's a bad thing." She said making an odd face.
"It's just that I enjoy holding my arm out for you so that you don't fall, or so that I can help you climb in and out of the truck."
"Well the less time you have to spend making sure I don't break my neck, the more time we can spend doing other things." She said playfully, biting her lip.
"Oh yeah? What kind of things?" I asked, leaning in closer to her, I could feel a bit of lust radiating from her as she smirked and closed the gap between us. She placed a quick kiss on my lips and then reached past me to grab the remote and I was hit with a wave of her amusement.
"Like finishing our movie." She said pressing play. We watched in silence until I felt Bella's unease upon seeing the vampires in the film turn a child into one of them. It always made me a bit uneasy too, it was something that was prohibited in our world.
"They don't really allow that, immortal children, it's strictly forbidden. Punishment is death - for the maker and the child. They're too young, they can't control themselves." I told her.
"They . . . kill the child? Who?" I could feel her concern.
"The Volturi."
"I've heard you mention them before, but what exactly are the Volturi? I mean . . . who are they?" She asked a bit warily.
"They're the largest and most powerful coven of vampires in existence. They reside in Volterra, Italy. They're like royalty in our world and they enforce our laws."
"Vampires have laws?"
"Not very many, but the most important one is that we keep our existence a secret. We can't kill publicly and we must always cover our tracks. We can't show our skin in the sunlight and we can't expose our speed or strength to humans. We either have to stay hidden or blend in."
"So what about me? I know about you. Wouldn't that be breaking the law?" She asked, her nerves increasing slightly.
"I'll be honest, if they were to find out before you were turned it could end badly, but they're on the other side of the world and they don't poke around without cause. Unless you were to tell someone and some massive vampire rumor broke out, they'd have no reason to investigate." She relaxed a bit.
"When you say they're powerful do you mean . . . powers like you, Edward, and Alice have?" She asked after a moment.
"Yes, almost everyone in their coven is gifted. There are these twins, Jane and Alec. They have some of the deadliest power's I've ever heard of. Jane can inflict crippling pain on anyone with just one look, and Alec can deploy a mist that deprives you of all your senses - and they're just the tip of the iceberg."
"So . . . do you think I'll have any powers?" She asked, trying not to get her hopes up.
"Well, I think your dreams could be something, though I'm not really how it would translate if it were to manifest into a gift."
"Really? Do you think maybe I'll be able to see the future like Alice?"
"Possibly something like that, but there's really no way to tell for sure. Not every vampire has a gift, but I think your dreams are definitely more than coincidence."
"Has Alice . . . seen me like you? As a vampire, in her visions?"
"Yes. I know that I told you that Alice doesn't tell me everything . . . but like I said, I couldn't risk telling you and you feeling like you had to do it just because it's what she saw."
"Wouldn't Alice seeing it tell you . . . that it's what I wanted?"
"Not exactly. She can't see your change, only that you will be one of us down the line. What if we'd had to change you before you were ready? If your life was in danger? I was terrified that it wouldn't be your choice. You deserve to have a choice in this Bella." I reached for her hand and held it in mine.
"Well, just know now, that if anything happens to me, you have my permission to turn me and I won't be upset." She said giving me a small smile, I could feel her sincerity.
"That's good to know Bella. That actually does make me feel a little better, but we still need to try to wait this out for a while."
"So you said after graduation?" I could feel her impatience.
"I think that would give you plenty of time to be sure that you're making the right choice and then we'd have an excuse to leave."
"I don't think I'll be changing my mind. In fact, I know that I won't. What if Edward . . . gets to me before then?" She tried to fight her nerves at the thought of him.
"He won't Bella, I won't let him." I promised.
"So should we go through with the plan then? Introduce him to my scent . . . I guess we could always use the car accident thing as a back up plan if it doesn't work and you could change me sooner."
"I don't know. I'll have to talk to Alice and Carlisle first, see what they think. It may not be worth the risk."
"Do you think he'll hate me after all this? Edward?"
"No, he'll come around. He just wants this to be over like the rest of us, at least the good part of him, the Edward that I know - my brother."
"Emmett said it . . . hurts - becoming a vampire."
"It does. I won't sugar coat it Bella, it feels like your entire body is being licked by the flames of hell from the inside out. You'll wish you were dead and it lasts for days. But then, when your heart finally beats for the last time, the pain will be only a memory and your eyes will open to a whole new world."
"That sounds . . . intense." She let out a deep breath and I could feel her concern, but also her determination.
"It is, but I'll be by your side the entire time and I'll use my gift to help as much as I can. Though it doesn't help entirely, nothing can." I could feel another question tugging at her that she was hesitant to ask.
"He also said that it's kind of . . . hard to turn someone into a vampire, because it's hard to stop drinking." She said a bit nervously before pulling her bottom lip up between her teeth.
"It is extremely difficult. Once we taste human blood it's like - the elixir of life is flowing through our bodies, satiating the burning thirst. Each pull we take into our mouths makes us feel stronger and lighter. It overwhelms our senses - almost like a drug." I knew all too well about the drug. I used to indulge freely and if I was being honest, I was a little worried about changing Bella. I wanted to do it myself, but I had been away from human blood so long that I was a bit worried that the predator might not be able to stop. She'd probably be safer with Carlisle turning her, though he didn't indulge in human blood either, and he'd been able to turn four humans with a one hundred percent success rate. I'd changed many more than that during my time with Maria.
"Have you ever . . . turned someone before?" She asked, her heart rate picking up. I had to fight with myself so that I wouldn't visibly squirm in my seat, it was like she'd read my mind. I'd been dreading this conversation, but it seemed like now would be the appropriate time.
"Yes, Bella . . . maybe it's time I tell you about my past."