Whoop! I was able to actually get this chapter done quick for you guys! But before we get to that I wanted to respond real quick to a review that was left on the last chapter by someone who pretty much asked what Tessa's purpose in the MCU is if she really doesn't change anything. Firstly, I don't think it's a negative review at all. I think everyone just has their own desires from what they want out of fanfics. I know a lot of authors like working Marvel characters into their whole own worlds and really play around with the characters….and I just want to say, there is nothing wrong with those…they're so creative and fun to read! I, myself, prefer to keep things as canon as possible. I created Tessa as my little fun project to be able to slip into this world and build relationships with these characters that they wouldn't otherwise have. As far as he purpose….I feel like her purpose isn't really to shake things up all too much, but give some of these characters some type healing that I feel like they deserve, ya know. I feel like her relationship with Loki alone makes this whole story worth it to me. Their relationship really develops when we move into Ragnarök, and giving him someone to actually show him some love is one of the main purposes I work towards if that makes sense. I try to put as much original content in my story as I can, but sometimes to adhere to canon as much as possible without changing too much, I have to make due with what I got and just slip Tessa in as best I can. I know there may be some readers who'd like to see more from her, but either way, I'd just like to thank you for investing your time in this story to get this far! The next movies definitely have some major changes and you'll really get to see Tessa's relationships change, so I hope you continue to follow along and see where she ends up! WOW, okay, that was a lot but I felt that needed to be said! Now I'd like to let you get to this next chapter. It's a bit on the small side, but boy oh boy….just read and find out is all I'm gonna say! I'll talk to you guys again after my vacation! Enjoy this bombshell in the meantime! Xoxo-NickyLynn
After Tessa managed to get herself back to her apartment, helped along by Steve, she got herself cleaned up the best she could before Steve helped guide her back into her living room. She was already healing faster than any human would be able, but the damage the bullets had done had been quite extent and it would take a while yet before she was ready to go into any battles again. Steve, being the attentive brother he was, helped lower her down onto the couch he had already laid out a stack of pillows on, being careful not to jostle her around too much. She let out a yelp and wince as Steve helped lift up her legs, Tessa swinging them over onto the cushions as she leaned back onto the pillows.
"You okay?" Steve asked in worry, noticing her pain-laced face.
"Peachy." Tessa told him, letting out a breath as she relaxed into the soft cushions around her.
"Can I get you anything?" he asked, wishing he could do more to help ease her pain.
"You've done so much for me already." She told him with her lip pulled up to the side. "I'm okay, really. Just need a few lazy days and I'll be right as rain. But if you really want to do something, I wouldn't say no to one of those big subs from that little corner store down the street." She told him with a shrug.
Steve smiled over at her, shaking his head. "I think I can handle that." He told her. "The usual?"
"Yes, please." She responded, casting him a bright, grateful smile. Steve nodded as he turned and began making his way out of her apartment. "Don't forget the extra pickles!" she called after him before he could make it to the door.
"Yeah, yeah." Steve called back to her, waving his hand in the air. "I won't forget your pickles you freak." He told her as he pulled open the door, only to find Tony standing there, his hand lifted in the air like he had been about to knock.
"Who's doing what with pickles?" Tony asked, dropping his hand and looking past Steve's shoulder into the apartment.
"Oh. Hey Tony." Tessa greeted after hearing his voice and seeing his face poke out from behind her brother.
"Hey yourself." He replied, stepping around Steve to move into the apartment.
"Steve was just going to get me a sub from that little Italian sub shop down the street. You want anything?" she asked him.
"I'm good." He told Steve, lifting up his hand in a thanks.
"Good. I wasn't going to get it anyways." Steve shot out at him with a smirk, pulling the door shut behind him as he walked out.
Tony's mouth lifted up in a laugh as he watched Steve leave before he looked over at Tessa and his smile faltered. "How you feeling, Glow Worm?" he asked, walking into the room towards her.
"Like I was hit by a meteor." Tessa deadpanned. The pointed look Tony shot her let her know he didn't find it nearly as amusing as she did. "What, too soon?" she asked with a shake of her head. "And here I thought you'd be all over that joke."
"Yeah." He said, shoving his hands in his pockets as he came to a stop in front of her. "First you had to admit that I was right and now you're the one making witty jokes. Have we accidently switched places?" he asked, pulling out one of his hands to point back and forth between the two. "Some Freaky Friday shit happen when I wasn't looking? Did we swap fortune cookies at last week's take out night?"
"Ugh." Tessa said, rolling her eyes. "I hope not. There are so many reasons I would not want to be you." She joked again.
"Your life doesn't seem all that alluring either there, chica." He shot back at her.
"Eh." She said, raising one of her shoulders in a shrug. "It's not so bad. I've got a few people who make sticking around pretty enjoyable." She told him with a smile.
"About that." He said, sticking his hand back in his pocket, suddenly growing more serious than she had seen him in a long time. "I'm gonna need you actually sticking around for a while." He told her, his eyebrows pulling together.
"Tony…" Tessa said, noticing his sudden shift in demeanor. "I really am okay." She insisted.
"No." Tony told her, shaking his head. "No, you weren't Tess." Tessa's smile dropped down as she watched him staring over at her so incredibly somberly. She was so used to his witty remarks, no matter how serious things got, that seeing him looking at her like that bothered her more than it should have. She dropped her mouth open to respond but he continued before she could. "When Vision pulled you out of that rubble…" he said before his voice broke off as he had to draw in a breath. "Seeing you like that…" he continued, his eyes dropping down to the carpet as he was pulled under by the memory of it. "Tess, I don't think you understand how much that broke me." He finally said, bringing his eyes back up to hers, both of them shining with the sheer amount of emotion behind them.
"I think I can imagine." Tessa said quietly, her mind flicking back to all the times she had nearly lost him.
"You see…when I thought I lost Pepper…it…" he said, pausing as he tried to think of the right way to describe the heart ache he had felt. "I couldn't stop imaging all the things I would have to do without her and how terrible life would be without her there. How hard it would be to get through it all." He explained, rubbing his hand against his forehead as his mind replayed the terror he had felt in that moment he had thought Killian had killed Pepper. Tessa sat and listened to him silently, letting him say what he felt that he needed to. "But when I thought I lost you…" he continued, pulling his hand away from his forehead and pointing it towards her before it dropped to his side as he paused. "I couldn't even imagine doing anything without you there. I just couldn't bring myself to imagine any sort of life without you. It wasn't just hard, or painful….it was just impossible to do. I honestly couldn't bring myself to imagine doing any of this without you, Tess. That's….that's gotta mean something….right?" he said, looking over at her in a way she had never seem him look at her before.
She licked her lips as her gaze dropped to the ground, finding it hard to keep looking into his eyes at that moment. "Why does it have to mean anything?" she asked him quietly. "I think you're just digging a little too into things. I almost died and that scared you. It doesn't have to mean anything more than just that." She said, bring her eyes back up to his.
"But I think it does." He said, letting out a breath as he stepped over to the couch, dropping himself down on the edge next to her hip. "It's always been you, Tess." He said, turning to face her. "I don't know if it's always been there and seeing you after the whole Ultron mess just opened my eyes to it…but I think somewhere along the way you started meaning more to me than I realized." He admitted to her, his eyes sweeping over her face. "Tessa, I think I'm in love with you."
Tessa's heart stopped in that moment, because that was certainly not something she had ever imagined hearing from him. And if she was being honest with herself, she had no idea how to react to that confession. "Tony," she began, pushing herself up with a wince. "I think this whole Ultron mess has just really messed with your head." She tried to tell him with a sad smile. "I'm not the girl you're meant to be with. I'm not that girl anyone is meant to be with." She told him, not knowing how to traverse this particular conversation. "I'm a fucking never-ending therapy session on legs." She reasoned. "My life is the definition of complicated and I'm not good for anyone. Besides….Tony, you love Pepper! I know you do! You can't sit there and tell me you don't." she said then, motioning towards him.
"Yeah, no. I know I love Pepper. I do….I just….I'm just beginning to wonder if she's not the only one." He said, reaching over and brushing his thumb against her cheek. "You've been there for me more than anyone else. No matter what, you've always had my back and I just don't know how long I can keep lying to myself and pretending like that doesn't mean something to me."
"You're just confused, Tony." Tessa tried insisting, yet she found it hard to put any conviction behind her words.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel at least something when you look at me and I'll drop it." He said then. "Tell me there's not at least some part of you that sees me as something more than the kid you helped guide through life and I'll walk out of here and never mention it again. I'll shove the feeling back down where it came from and keep on blissfully ignoring it so long as you can do that without lying."
Tessa's mouth dropped open to tell him that, but she hesitated, because deep down, there was a part of her that was in love with Tony. But she kept that that of herself locked away because she had to. Because she hadn't been lying when she told him she didn't think she was the right girl for anybody. "Tony…" she tried again. "I'm not good for anyone, let alone you." She insisted.
"Oh, come on Tess!" Tony let out, throwing his hand up in the air. "Don't give me that bull! You're beautiful, smart, insanely brave, strong, loyal to a fault, and you've save the god damn world more than once….how are those not qualities you see in yourself as something to be desired?" he asked her.
"Tony I'm not mortal!" she nearly yelled out then, growing frustrated. "I'm not human! I can't give you a picket-fence life, or anyone for that matter! I can't have pop out a few kids and grow old with anyone, holding withered hands as we watch the sunset from our porch…our grandkids running in the lawn as we do!" she said, tears beginning to build in her eyes. "Tony you are an amazing man, and of course there's a part of me who wishes we lived in this perfect world were we could have been more….but it's because I love you that I can't let this happen." She told him sadly. "Out of all the people I've met in my life, you're the only one outside of Clint who has a real shot at having a life the rest of us could only dream of. You deserve that picket fence. You deserve to hold your child in your arms and realize you're capable of making something so wonderfully beautiful. You deserve someone to hold you as you grow old and be there along with you…growing every step of the way. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you." She said, tears dripping down her cheeks now as she opened herself up to the feelings she kept hidden under so many walls. "The life you're building with Pepper is the one you deserve." She told him. "I won't let you mess that up."
"So, what? I'm just supposed to pretend that my heart isn't constantly torn in two?" he questioned.
"I'd rather have your heart torn in two, than have it torn completely out." She said, not willing to let him throw away everything he had built with Pepper for something as doomed as a relationship with her.
Tony's eyes gazed into Tessa's, and she could tell he knew what she was saying was true….no matter how hard it was to hear it. He cupped her cheek, brushing away the trail of wetness that taken over. She watched as he leaned in towards her and she knew what he meant to do. She let her eyes fall shut as he swept in towards her. She held her breath as she felt his lips brush against her, the feeling of it sending a tremor down her spine. Soon his lips were pressed up flush against hers, and she couldn't help the butterflies that exploded in her stomach as he moved against her. His hands moved from her cheek to wrap around the back of head, pulling her closer to him as he deepened the kiss. Despite her efforts, Tessa found her lips moving against his for a moment, letting herself get lost in the feeling of being kissed after so many years, before her rational thoughts rolled though her like wrecking ball, smashing through her moment of bliss.
Tess pulled back from the kiss suddenly, dropping her face away from his as she tried catching her breath, her heart hammering against her chest. "Tony…I...I can't." she finally said, shaking her head.
Tony pulled back from her then, his hand falling away from her hair. "Another life, huh?" he said with a humorless laugh.
"I'm sorry." She told him with a sad smile. "You know I'm always going to be there for you." She told him, reaching forward to wrap her hand around his. "And maybe one day I'll get to watch you live out that life you deserve. Get to hold that child you deserve. But that's all this has to be." She told him in finality.
Tony nodded at that, dropping his gaze down to the floor as he processed the meaning of those words. "Okay." He said after a moment, pushing himself back up to his feet. He stepped up to her then, leaning down to press his lips into her hair line as he wrapped his hand around her head once again. "I'm glad you're okay." He whispered as he pulled away and stood back up. "I'll be around to check on you." He said then, trying his best to move past the serious mood that had built between them.
"I know you will." She responded with a smile. "Thanks for that."
Tony gave her the best smile he could before he turned and started walking out of the room. Tessa watched him walk away until he got to the door, and she stopped him. "Tony." She called out to him, causing him to freeze with his hand on the handle, turning to look at her over his shoulder. "I think it's best if we keep this between us." She said then, knowing that if any of the others knew, it would only complicate matters more than they needed to be.
"Just like back in middle school." Tony said, bringing his fingers up to his lips and pretending like he was sealing them together with a lock. "These lips are sealed." The corner of Tessa's mouth lifted up at that, her mood lifting a little. "Oh, and by the way." Tony said as he pulled open the door. "Not bad for a senior citizen." He said with a wink before stepping out of her apartment, pulling the door shut behind him.
When the door latched shut, Tessa's head feel back against the pillows behind her, her cheeks suddenly warm with the blush that had taken hold of her. She let out a breath, trying to gather all the feelings that had just surfaced and shove them back behind the walls she was forced to keep them behind. The door swung open again, causing her head to snap back up, thinking Tony had come back, but instead she found Steve walking back in, a freshly obtained sub in his hand. He took at her flushed and startled appearance and his brow lifted in the air. "You okay?" he asked unsurely.
"Yeah." She breathed out quickly. "My chest is bugging me is all." She told him all too honestly.