A/N: Hi, folks! Long time since this was written in 2015. Editing the chapters and hoping to continue the story!
It all started with his trip to Spain.
As he approached his final year of college, he felt the strong need to take an internship to shadow a doctor while traveling to another country. He had traveled frequently when he was younger, and he greatly enjoyed when his father would bring him along to other continents during the summer.
At the age of ten, he had visited most of Brazil, Singapore, India, Hong Kong, Macao, Taiwan, Hokkaido, Egypt and all of Europe. But as he had grown older, the trips became less and less. Focusing on school required him to stay in one place for longer periods of time, and it became troublesome to leave the city.
His father decided it was better for him to remain in the states where they moved when he was fourteen. By the time he was in high school, the trips to other countries had stopped completely. However, at the age of twenty-one, he saw the opportunity to travel again.
When his father first heard of his intent to study abroad, the man urged him to come to England. A few years ago, his father had decided to settle and return to London where his business was centered. If Law chose to study in Oxford or Cambridge, then it would be convenient for his family to reach him.
The prospect of returning to his home country didn't seem too appealing though. Instead, he decided with the more adventurous option to travel to another country. He chose Spain.
The program they offered in Spain was the most intensive out of all the internships available, and they promised to cover most of tuition. It was a type of offer that couldn't be passed. In addition to their competitive program, the country itself seemed like a better location. Being in Spain meant he had the option to travel to other places in Europe by train or easier means. Compared to England, which was a sea trip away, it gave him greater flexibility to explore.
"Yeah! That sounds awesome!" His friends had cheered him on when he told them that he wanted to study abroad for a year. "Haven't you always wanted to visit Spain again?"
He smiled, remembering the warmth and excitement to which they celebrated before he left. Many beers were passed around, yells of glee were sung, and a huge hangover was given to everyone.
Although he'd enjoyed the past six months since he's been in the country, he really missed everyone. Yes – being a doctor's assistant in an actual hospital was quite thrilling. His studies were going quite well, and he found himself easily lost in the medical books. The city of Madrid was beautiful, and the bars were wild and had good liquor. But really, as much as everything fulfilled his expectations, he sometimes felt lonely.
When he saw a little bird that reminded him of Penguin, there was no Shachi beside him to join him in teasing the dark-haired man. Opportunities for old inside jokes were remiss, and the relationships he built were too new.
Yes, sometimes it got a little lonesome.
Law tried to hide it, but his feelings always managed to slip through when he talked on the phone. When he would see the caller ID for one of their late-night calls, a fluttering tingle fell down his stomach. His hands would act swiftly, but he would always try to mask the rise in his too eager hellos.
His lips would curl to a smile as he listened to his friends talk and complain about their day. He clung to their little anecdotes as if they were the only things that connected him to the people that he cared about but were all so far away.
He was always tempted to hop on a plane and fly back to see them. One person in particular, however, made him want to throw all of his hard work and studies away.
"Hey! Law!" Luffy's innocent upbeat greetings always set a light to his day. "How are you? When are you coming back? Zoro keeps getting beat up from practice, and he keeps needing to pay a lot to get patched up at the hospital!"
The telltale grin would abruptly sprout on his face at the funny stories the teen told. "Tell him good. It's about time that he stopped freeloading off me. And Luffy, I told you I'll be back in the summer."
"Haha. I know, I just missed you. The days don't seem to be getting shorter."
Law's throat closed for a moment as he clutched his phone.
"I miss you too."
He would say the words as a whisper, and the younger boy's voice would get quiet too.
Their only way of speaking to each other was over the phone, and it had become maddening. With their busy schedules, he had to admit that it was hard. He could already tell that that he was struggling with not seeing Luffy smile. But Law knew this when he made his decision to go abroad. Before he left, they had discussed what they would be giving up. Still, Luffy gave him his full support and urged him to go on the plane. He knew how much Law wanted to go.
The long conversations before they slept were all they could linger on. They would just have to wait until the year was over, then they'd see each other again. Law would come back from his internship, and they would be able to hold each other as tightly as they wanted. Lingering kisses, familiar hugs – they would be in the same city again. They'd be sitting on the same couch, snuggling while watching television as if those twelve months had breezed by.
Ways of how he could surprise Luffy when he returned was constantly at the back of his mind.
Law wasn't a sap, however, so he never said such thoughts out loud. He knew that Luffy may have had similar thoughts, but the boy wasn't so selfish as to reveal exactly how much he missed him. Law comforted the younger teen during their talks.
Before he left the states, he and Luffy made a promise that they'd be together again. It was a wordless promise bounded by an elongated stare into each other's eyes and a quick chaste mesh of lips. The slow separation of their intertwined hands at the airport made sure their promise tied them together, and Law kept it in his heart.
The scar under the boy's left eye, the tickle spot at the back of his knee, the small puckering expression he would make when he ate something bitter, the grins that would flash when he was happy – every piece of information about Luffy, Law made sure to cherish and take with him to Europe. They've been together long enough to keep what they have, and a little long distance wouldn't wedge them apart.
His heart knew who it belonged to. The owner was an energetic college sophomore.
The sole keeper of his being was undisputable, but that's exactly why Law's heart started to beat rapidly when he woke up one day in his apartment six months later. January 11th, Sunday morning.
10:00 A.M., the sun was already beating down from his window and on his face. His brain pounded against his skull due to a hangover, and he felt much regret for drinking too much at the bar yesterday. He stirred on the bed feeling the cold and curled into a ball. As he moved his legs, he felt something sticky inside him and he immediately froze. His eyes shot open feeling sore in places he shouldn't be, and he quickly realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt. In fact, he wasn't wearing anything at all. Cold fingers touched his chest as he buried his hands for warmth.
At first, Law was confused. He couldn't bring himself to move and just gawked at the wall dazed. His eyes darted to the floor where scattered clothing was messily thrown to the ground. He recognized his own shirt trailing at bedroom door, but the rest…
His eyes kept shifting from the unfamiliar leather jacket to the pair of socks near his bed. Something moved at the other side of the mattress where his back was turned, and his breath stopped.
"Ngh…"
The pre-med student tried to control his breathing as he sat up, his eyes widened in horror. No, no, no… He tried to wake himself up from the horrible dream. He must've been conscious in a disturbing nightmare because it just couldn't be true. It couldn't –
He would never –
No matter how much Law willed himself to wake, his body never left the room. His eyes remained frozen on the sleeping naked body beside him, the blanket barely covering the upper half of the man's legs. Law thickly swallowed. What… happened last night?
He tried to remember, but part of him was too afraid to recall anything. It was pretty easy to guess what happened though. He didn't need every detail to know what the love bites imprinted on the other man's neck and chest meant.
"Kid-ya…?"
The redhead snuggled into his pillow but didn't wake.
Oh my god… Law's hand shook as he covered his mouth. No, no, no…! The room started to spin, and the bright light made him want to vomit. Everything in his stomach wanted to come hurling out, and he keeled over. His skin felt sticky, like he wanted to crawl out of his own body. Sweat and the musky scent which stained the bed sheets infiltrated his senses and went straight to his brain. The pounding in his head grew stronger, and all he could hear was Kid's soft snoring. Law clutched his fluttering stomach.
Why couldn't he breathe? He couldn't breathe! He couldn't…
A happy melody pulled him out of his thoughts. He jerked to the source of the sound, and Law hastily slipped out of bed before the redhead could wake. He followed the ringtone to his desk where his jeans had somehow ended up being flung and took out his phone.
"Hello?" he answered quietly.
His voice came out hoarse and grainy.
"Hey! Good morning," Luffy chirped. "Did I wake you up?"
The sound of the teen's cheery eagerness sent a pang in his chest. He placed a hand at the edge of the desk as he hung his head. I'm so sorry. Please… I'm so sorry. Tears threatened to well in his eyes.
"No… No, Luffy. I woke up a few minutes ago."
"Haha, that's great."
"Yeah…"
Law pursed his lips. His throat was dry, and if he said anything more than short sentences, he knew his voice would break. His hand began to shake. Law wanted to tell him. He wanted to spurt out apologies and beg Luffy to forgive him for breaking his trust. He didn't know why he did it. He didn't know why things happened last night the way they did.
He had no excuse.
He just –
"Law,"
"Yes?" He tried to stifle a hitched breath.
"You've been quiet. Is something wrong?"
"I'm so sorry," Law whimpered. He drew the phone away from his mouth before he said it, and just looked at the ceiling. He blinked the water from his eyes and steeled himself to answer.
"Law?"
"I'm here," he placed the phone back to his ear. "I'm just tired. I drank a little too much last night. A friend's birthday and we got a couple of drinks at a bar. Look, Luffy,"
"Yeah?"
"Give me a few minutes to clean up, and I'll call you back."
"Alright. I'll go brush my teeth too," Luffy agreed. It should have been around one or so in the morning for him in the states, still part of Saturday night and entering Sunday morning.
"Yeah…"
"Alright, bye."
"Bye."
Law closed his phone. A hiccup managed to escape from his chest, and he clamped his eyes shut. He still had trouble controlling his breathing. Frustrated, he slammed his phone on the desk.
"Shit," he muttered, realizing that he made a loud sound, and looked back to the bed.
Kid moved languidly under the sheets with a slow groan but was still fast asleep. Law took another extended sigh. He needed to get out of here and leave. He strode over to his drawer and grabbed a change of clothes. He picked up the articles of last night's attire from the floor as well as he made his way to the bathroom to take a shower. It hurt his back a lot to even walk, but he pushed through it.
Law threw the dirty clothes in the hamper and stepped into the shower. He turned the handle and let the scathing hot water wash over him as if it could cleanse any of his actions away. A sticky substance dripped from inside of him and down to his thighs making him grimace. Fuck. Memories of Kid's fingers exploring his entrance emerged.
"Kid…"
Law couldn't deny that he had called the redhead's name. He had repeated it many times over like a mad mantra, to the point that the name "Eustass Kid" was engraved into his brain. Bits of last night were coming back to him, and he could see himself screaming and moaning the chant.
"Mngh! Ah… Kid… There! Yes, mngh…."
The steam of the shower felt the same as the hot breaths from Kid's lips. Law could remember the feeling of the redhead's mouth licking him all over as they groped each other in his hallway. They barely made it into his bedroom before they began tearing each other's clothes off.
Law took the soap to scrub himself clean. His whole body felt disgusting and swollen. Small bruises trailed from his collarbones down to his bellybutton, and he made sure to be careful when touching them. Guilt bit him even harder when he found kiss marks on the insides of his upper thigh.
What was he thinking?
His legs over Kid's shoulders… The man tracing the length of his limbs and gifting it with sultry nips of his mouth… Law tracing Kid's cheek to egg him on and continue as he wished. Law wanted to drown. He wished the water falling over him would fill his lungs and erase everything he had done.
Law finished quickly as he was sick of seeing his tainted body. He turned off the shower and dried himself. Mist fogged up the bathroom mirror, and he was thankful that he couldn't see himself as he dressed. Law brushed his teeth quickly before leaving the bathroom then returned to his room. He opened the closet to take a light jacket and retrieved his phone from the work desk.
10:45. He read the time. Law turned to look at the unconscious man still sleeping on his bed. Four parallel lines streaked through Kid's shoulder blades like red wings, and Law looked at his hands to find blood under his fingernails. The guilty hands clenched shut.
It wasn't Kid's fault. He had no one to blame but himself.
Law shoved the phone into his pockets and walked out of his own apartment. He had nowhere to go, but he couldn't stay. He pushed his legs to start walking and headed down the street. There weren't a lot of people out since it was a Sunday, and the people he did see were all hurrying to their own affairs. Law took out his phone and dialed Luffy's number.
"Hey,"
"Mn. Hey."
"Sorry I took a while. I took a shower."
"It's alright. I grabbed a little snack and had to brush my teeth again so it's okay."
"A snack?"
"Yup. Zoro came home with some meat that Sanji made, and I got hungry. It was really good. There was a lot of honey and spice in there. I think it's a new recipe."
Law willed himself to smile. "You shouldn't eat before you sleep, or your stomach will hurt."
He heard Luffy make a disagreeing mumble. "But studying makes me hungry. I had to read this book about The Grimm's Fairytales, and it was a story about food. How do they expect me to write an essay when all they make me read about is some kids eating sweets?"
"Then eat while you write."
The conversation kept on going until Law found himself having walked quite far. Stores lined the streets instead of the apartments from the residential area he had come from.
"Hey, have you eaten breakfast yet?" Luffy asked. It had been quite a while since they started talking.
"I'm not very hungry right now," Law answered. "I don't think I can eat."
The guilt was nauseating as it weighed over his head. His insides have been doing flips at the sound of Luffy's voice. It felt like betrayal speaking to him casually like this. He allowed himself to hear the boy's mindless chatter when all the while, he was craving to confess his mistake. He held his tongue thinking about how Luffy would refuse to forgive him. What person would? Forget repentance. Would the boy ever talk to him again after this?
"You should eat!" The boy yelled. "Mornings are the most important time to fill your energy so you won't be grumpy for the rest of the day."
"Luffy…" he wanted to tell him so bad.
"You get cranky when you don't have your coffee."
"Luffy," he couldn't take it anymore. Law saw his own reflection as he passed by a store window. The sight of his disheveled face made him stop.
"What?"
"I need to tell you something."
Law stared into the eyes of his reflection. Harsh lines cut the bags of his dark circles, and his skin looked sickly. He didn't bother to comb his hair before he left his apartment, but the water had matted it down to stick flat on his scalp. Overall, he looked like he hadn't slept in days. His eyes searched for everything notable, and that's when he caught the mark on his neck.
"Law…" All he could see on the glass was an image of Kid nuzzling his nose into his shoulder.
Law scowled zipping up his jacket to his chin.
"Actually, I need to tell you something too," Luffy said guiltily.
"I think I need to tell you first."
The younger boy ignored him and continued anyway. "I've done something bad… Something I didn't mean to do."
"What do you mean?" Law asked patiently.
"Promise that you'll forgive me first."
"Luffy, what did you do?"
"It just happened! I didn't know it even happened until yesterday. Ace came over to visit me a while ago, and we were throwing around a basketball he brought over while we waited for Zoro to come back from class. I threw the ball too hard, and it hit the water boiler you gave me by accident. It broke."
"That's…" Law didn't even know what to say.
"I'm really sorry."
He gave a half chuckle. Luffy was sounding so sad for breaking an object? A mere object that didn't even cost much while he did something Law couldn't even bear to say? The water boiler was just something he'd gotten because he thought it would be useful. It wasn't even special.
"We'll just get you another one."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It's not a big deal."
Luffy laughed over the phone making Law's heart shatter. "'Thanks, Law! I love you."
I love you…
I love you…
Law bit his lower lip. He couldn't say it. God, he couldn't say it! I'm sorry, Luffy.
"I love you, too."
The happy laughter rang again. Law couldn't be more disgusted with himself.
"Oh, did you need to say something to me?" the teen asked.
The man shook his head. He couldn't bring himself to destroy the love he had. "It's nothing. Just sleep well."
"Oh, mkay."
"It's getting pretty late, Luffy. You should go to sleep."
"Already?"
"Yes. What time is it for you?"
The younger boy grumbled for a second. "I don't have anything tomorrow."
"If you stay up all night, you'll end up sleeping through the afternoon and won't be able to sleep later," Law chastised. "Then you'll have trouble getting up for your class Monday. Remember you have an eight A.M. lecture."
"Fine," the boy gave in.
"Good night, Luffy."
"G'night. Or should I say good morning? Hmm… I already said that to you earlier. Hey, how do you say 'good morning' in Spanish?"
A rueful smile curled Law's lips. "Buenos dias."
"Buenos dias!" Luffy repeated. "Haha! I can speak Spanish too! Maybe I should move to Spain. Hey, Law. Make sure to eat later, okay?"
"I will."
Luffy left him with a loving goodbye, and Law ripped the phone from his ear after he said it back. It was true he loved Luffy, but how could he even say so after what he'd done? He was still standing in front of the shop's mirror, and he looked into his own reflection once more. All he saw was a hopeless man glowering at him in disappointment.
I just missed you… Luffy.