Disclaimer: Bree and the rules are mine. The rest is not.
So here's Bree's story. You'll find some of the rules from "88 rules for a peaceful Hogwarts experience", which has currently reached about 500 rules, mixed in.
Bree Smith was an eleven year old, blond haired, blue eyed American girl. Her family (Mom, Dad, two dogs and a cat) had just moved to England. Her Dad had gotten a job as a Professor at a University. Bree was absolutely terrified. She was in a new country were she would have to go to a new school and make new friends. A new magical school, and she had only just found out about magic. Her Mother had been, understandably, shocked. Her Father, on the other hand, had just shrugged and said "Well, that explains a few things."
So now Bree was on the train to Hogwarts. As she walked through the cars to find a place to sit, she ran into a blond boy who was accompanied by two larger boys. All three of them together blocked the walkway.
"Could you move over to one side please? I need to get by." Bree asked nicely.
The blond boy sneered at her. "How dare you order me around! Do you have any idea who I am!" he exclaimed.
Bree looked at him as if he was insane. "First, it wasn't an order, it was a question, and second, no, I have no idea who you are, I have never seen you before in my life."
"I'm Draco Malfoy." the boy said pompously.
Bree stared at him, while the boy smirked, thinking that she now knew how important he was compared to her. "…And is that supposed to mean something?" Bree finally asked.
Draco face changed for smug, to surprised, then to outraged. "My Father is Lucious Malfoy. The Malfoy family is the richest family in Britain." he yelled, gaining the attention of three boys in a nearby compartment.
Bree rolled her eyes. "So, basically, you're a spoiled rich brat that lives off his parents money and prestige, that you yourself have done nothing to earn the right to use." she summarized. The boys from the nearby compartment began to snicker. Draco pulled out his wand. "I ought to hex you, you…" "Slap!" Draco was interrupted when Bree slapped him across the face.
Rule 150. Not allowed to slap Draco.
Draco was momentarily stunned by the hit. The boy's behind him pulled out their wands. The boys that had been laughing at Draco had now exited their compartment and pulled out their wands. The large, but obviously not intelligent, boy's behind Draco couldn't decide where to aim their wands. Draco finally recovered from his shock. He was about to start yelling again when he spotted the three, older, larger, Gryffindor boys that had their wands pointed at him in apparent defense of the girl that had slapped him.
"Run along Malfoy. Leave the girl alone." one of the boys, a redhead, warned.
Draco gulped, and he and his cronies backed off, and made their way to another car. Bree turned to the three boys. Two were identical red heads, the other was well, she wanted to say African American, but she wasn't in America, so… African British? Arrgh… damn you political correctness, making things more complicated then they need to be. He was of African decent. Black if you will. With dreadlocks.
"Thanks." she said simply.
"No problem. Anyone who slaps a Malfoy has my support." one of the red heads stated.
Bree shrugged "Someone had to do it." she explained.
- no, no one had to do it.
The red heads grinned. "Well I believe, that this" began one. "Is the beginning of" continued the other. "A beautiful friendship." they finished simultaneously. Bree blinked at the oddness of it.
"Well, if we're going to be friends," she began slowly, and slightly unsure, "then we'll need to know each others names." she concluded confidently. "I'm Bree Smith." she introduced.
"I'm Fred Weasely." one of the red heads responded. "And I'm his better looking twin George." stated the other. "And this," the twins said together as they gestured toward the boy with dread locks, "is our friend Lee Jordan."
Bree spent the rest of the train ride with the Weasely twins and Lee Jordan.
Hours later, Bree was standing in the middle of the Great Hall, along with the rest of the first years that had their names at the end of Professor McGonagall's list. Bree had seen most of the other new students be sorted. Finally, the moment she had been waiting for came.
"Smith, Bree!" McGonagall called out. Bree walked up to the stool, sat down, and wondered which house she would end up in as the brim of the hat slipped over her eyes.
"My, my. It's been awhile since I've sorted an American, now where to place you." said a voice that Bree assumed was the hat. "You are rather intelligent, but lack the drive for knowledge that Ravenclaw's have. Loyal to your friends, but you're too brash for Hufflepuff. You have a fair amount of cunning, but I fear the amount of chaos you would cause should you end up in Slytherin."
"Hey!" the blond mentally protested.
"Your personality would clash too much with the other Slytherins. And the Slytherin dorms are in the dungeon, I just wouldn't feel safe with you so close to the school's foundation. It wouldn't due to have the school demolished in a week. So I guess I'll have to put you with all the others who act before thinking in GRYFFINDOR!" the hat shouted the last word for the whole school to hear. Bree went and sat next to the Weasely twins while the sorting finished.
A few minutes later Weasely, Ronald, was called up. Bree leaned over to the twins and whispered "Is he one of your brothers?"
"Yeah that's ickle Ronnikins." Fred whispered back.
"What house do you think he'll end up in?" Bree inquired.
"He better get into Gryffindor or our family will disown him." George answered.
"We will not!" another red head hissed at him. "All Houses are equal." he stated.
Fred leaned over and whispered into Bree's ear. "Percy's only saying that because he's a prefect."
Fortunately no one ever found out if Ron's family would disown him, as he was sorted in to Gryffindor. And, after Zabini, Blaise, was put into Slytherin, the sorting ended, and Dumbledore stood up.
"Welcome," he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!" He sat back down. Everybody clapped and cheered. "He's insane, isn't he?" Bree asked in shock. "Insane?" said Percy airily. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a little insane, yes. Potatoes?" he offered the blond some of the food that had suddenly appeared while she'd been distracted.
A little while later, after everyone had finished with dinner and dessert, Dumbledore stood up made a few announcements, gave a few warnings that seemed to be directed at the Weasely twins, except one that was rather disturbing, it warned against going the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side, unless you wanted to die a painful death. He then had the school sing the school song, letting each student pick their own tune, which made the whole affair sound very chaotic and made it hard for Bree to sing to her chosen tune, so she decided to go along with Fred and George and their funeral march. Once the song was over, Dumbledore sent the students to bed.
Over the few days Bree got lost a lot. The school was full of moving staircases, fake doors, and hidden passages. It reminded Bree quite a bit of the Winchester Mystery House, except that she had yet to open a door that led to a straight drop. So Bree, having missed breakfast twice due to getting lost, decided that she needed a way to make the school easier to navigate. She decided on road signs. During some free time, after the last class and before dinner, she went to work placing hand made street signs in the hall.
Rule 252. Not allowed to put street signs in the halls to make the school easier to navigate.
When she was hanging her tenth sign, she was startled by someone coming up behind her. "And what do you think you're doing?" a pompous voice asked. Bree turned around and came face to face with Percy Weasely. "Making the school easier to navigate." she explained. "Well we'll just see what Professor McGonagall has to say about that. Come along." he motioned for her to follow him. Bree sighed and followed the prefect to McGonagall office, where she was instructed to take down her signs.
The next day she spent a few hours in the hospital wing after suffering from an all over itch and getting in to an argument with the house elves in charge of the laundry. (She found the laundry by asking the Weasely twins.) The elves has been upset that she had criticized the laundry soap they were using, until Professor McGonagall had forced Bree to go to the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey confirmed that Bree was indeed allergic to the detergent, then they felt very guilty for unintentionally causing the discomfort of one of the students. Soon after, Bree resolved to never go to the hospital wing again, as she was subjected to an hour long lecture on what kind of soaps and fabrics that she would have to avoid due to her sensitive skin.
(For more information on the above incident see chapter four of "88 rules")
It now was Friday, which meant that the Gryffindor first years would be having their first double potions class with the Slytherins. The class was held in one of the cold, damp dungeons beneath the school. Professor Snape started the class with role call, then when on to some speech that was obviously meant to either terrify or impress them all. Then Snape directed his attention toward Harry Potter.
"Potter!" he snapped. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"
"Is that even in this years text?" Bree thought to herself.
"I don't know, sir," said Harry.
Snape sneered. "Tut, tut — fame clearly isn't everything" he commented, completely ignoring Hermione who was eagerly raising her hand.
"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" Hermione raised her hand even higher as soon as the question was asked. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle all laughed at Harry's misfortune.
Bree frowned. "Oh, like dumb, dumber, and dumbest even know the answer themselves." she thought angrily.
"I don't know, sir." Harry said again.
"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?" sneered Snape.
"He shouldn't have had to. It's the teacher's responsibility to educated the student, not to humiliate them." Bree internally raged.
Snape went on to a new question. "What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"
Hermione was standing now.
Bree frowned even more. "Aren't those the same thing?" she thought, suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to punch Snape in the face.
"I don't know," Harry answered quietly. "I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?"
"Sit down," Snape snapped at Hermione. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?"
"Because you didn't tell us to?" Bree thought sarcastically, but she reach for pen and parchment anyway.
"And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter." Snape stated as the class hurried to get out quills and parchment.
Things didn't improve for the Gryffindors as the Potions lesson continued. Snape put them all into pairs and set them to mixing up a simple potion to cure boils. He stalked around the classroom, watching them weigh dried nettles and crush snake fangs, criticizing almost everyone except Malfoy, whom he seemed to like, and Bree, who was making very few mistakes due to the experience she had cooking. Granted, granted cooking didn't have to be as precise as potions, the meal wouldn't explode if you put the onions in before the carrots, or if you added a bit two much curry power to the dish, but she got by well enough.
Snapewas just telling everyone to look at the perfect way Malfoy had stewed his horned slugs when clouds of acid green smoke and a loud hissing filled the dungeon. Neville had somehow managed to melt Seamus's cauldron, and their potion was seeping across the stone floor, burning holes in people's shoes. Within seconds, the whole class was standing on their stools, except Bree, who simply lifted her feet and watched the potion ooze by, while Neville, who had been drenched in the potion when the cauldron collapsed, moaned in pain as angry red boils sprang up all over his arms and legs.
"Idiot boy!" snarled Snape, clearing the spilled potion away with one wave of his wand. "I suppose you added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire?"
Neville whimpered as boils started to pop up all over his nose.
"Take him up to the hospital wing," Snape spat at Seamus. Then he rounded on Harry and Ron, who had been working next to Neville.
"You — Potter — why didn't you tell him not to add the quills?"
"Probably because he was working on his own potion. You might as well yell at the whole class for not telling Neville to not add the quills. Or better yet, why don't you yell at yourself? You are supposed to be the "Responsible Adult" here, right?" Bree interjected before anything else could be said. Snape turned to her, looking enraged. "Ten points from Gryffindor for your backtalk, Smith." he snarled at her. Bree didn't looked the least bit fazed.
An hour later Bree was walking up the stairs that led out of the dungeon, when someone called her name. "Bree! Wait up!" Bree turned and found Ron and Harry coming up behind her. "Bree, um, thanks, you know, for standing up for me back there." Harry said a bit awkwardly. "Weren't you afraid of him?" Ron asked. Bree snorted. "Of course not. In fact, I hope to make him even angrier." the blond declared. "Why would you want to do that!" Ron exclaimed. "Because if I get him to yell at me enough, I can claim that I've been emotionally damaged." Bree explained, as if she was talking to a small child. "And why do you want to be emotionally damaged?" Harry asked in confusion. Bree rolled her eyes. "I'm an American, Harry. When someone pisses us off we don't get mad, we manufacture a problem and sue for every penny!" she exclaimed. Harry and Ron stared at her in shock as she walked away.
First chapter and I've already got the "Americans sue everyone" joke in there. So what do you think? Have I done the rules justice? Review please!