This is just a heads up; trigger warning for suicidal ideation and related themes, Taylor is definitely in a bad space after the locker so it's going to be a prevalent theme for a while. Hopefully I can manage to keep it as respectful as possible (I'm drawing partially on my own experiences with mental health so we should be fine).
-x-
At first, I thought that getting bug controlling superpowers was the final parting shot at me from the universe, was I such a wretch that I was doomed to suffer only the company of filth from here on out?
I was busy wallowing in my misery when I noticed the doctor about to enter my room. Followed immediately by the fact that I had no idea how I knew he was outside until he walked through the door and I saw the fly on his head and knew immediately what had happened. I was sensing my bug, all the disjointed space I was seeing all around me weren't some product of painkillers and antibiotics. It was just the world as seen through the eyes and minds of bugs.
Whilst useful this revelation was quite daunting, I was massively disoriented, bugs do not see and feel the world as we do, I was seeing a kaleidoscope from all directions, every different insect with their own perspective, all being shoved directly into my brain. Not to mention this was inside a hospital so it was way less than what it would be outside.
Which mean that I had all of a week to get used to this before I got released unless I wanted to get thrown into an asylum or worse, outed as having powers.
Biting down on my rising panic I took deep breaths, I haven't heard of anyone getting powers that completely incapacitated them, at least not without them wanting them to. So, I just had to think about this logically, maybe I can turn this off?
A few minutes of concentration affirms that I can indeed… well not turn it off but push the sensations away and let them fade into the background. But I still felt a sort of buzzing in the back of my mind which meant I could actually hear myself think.
Alright let's take stock here, I have bug control powers (gross) but I can sense what all the bugs In my range sense (cool) but bug senses and human brains don't seem to mix (not cool). I leaned back into my bed and closed my eyes. Trying to recall the different powers classifications, what was that mnemonic again?
Ok ok, bug control is definitely a master power, range is, a block? Two? I could sense the location of every bug in my range but without understanding what they were feeling it was hard to figure out what that correlates to. But going by intuition it felt like a block and a half. Ish. Better make a mental note to test that once I'm out.
And the sensing would be a thinker power right? Or would that be a shaker power because it affects in a range around me. Actually, doesn't the bug control itself count as a shaker power since it affects all the bugs in an area, since I could feel everything in the range and could take control of them all. From the flies in the trash outside to the worms deep under the soil.
Wait.
Worms aren't insects and come to think of it neither are the spiders I could feel in the ceiling. And how could I tell what insects each is without looking at them. How was I controlling them anyways, it felt instinctual, like moving an arm or leg. Add that to the list of things to test.
Oh wait the doctor was saying something.
"…Should be cleared to be released earlier than expected, quite fast recovery but still well within normal limits. I've given your father the antibiotics you'll be needing to take for the next month. That all right?"
"Oh um, yea that's fine thank you."
He smiled warmly, "that's good to hear, don't be afraid to call for the nurses if you need anything or you get any unexpected spikes of pain." With a few more pleasantries he left leaving me to try and rest and cope with all the new revelations.
Oh who am I kidding, creepy powers or not, I'm going to be a superhero.
-x-
Getting home was a bit of a pain, my legs were still too weak to walk completely unassisted, so I had to use a crutch to help me. Which would be fine if I wasn't disoriented by the fact that I could feel the world moving around me, pinpoints in my mind where all the insects lay at odds with my normal human senses. I almost fell at least twice when I exited the hospital and came in range of the massive volume of insects.
You see, the thing people don't often really realise is just how many insects there really are, out of sight and out of mind were million upon millions of bugs. It was a bit gross but its fascinating just how much life can thrive in the most unexpected places. Though at that point in time it mainly served as a rather effective method of preventing me from walking 10 feet without getting tipsy.
The car ride was a slight better since I could close my eyes and focus on just the sense of where the bugs were, this time without my sight interfering. I was still vaguely nauseating but hey, at least I couldn't fall.
Of course I could have avoided all this pain if I just pushed the sensations to the back of my mind but while I was laying in hospital bored out of my mind I realised just how useful this sense was, though I really should find a name for it, maybe swarm sense? Yea swarm sense is good. I wasn't sure exactly how far it extended but it was certainly at least enough to cover all of Winslow, and additionally I could differentiate each individual insect in the swarm. Provided I was still struggling on the multitasking aspect, but opportunities were a bit scarce in the hospital due to the lack of insects I could bring into the room without arousing suspicion. So, I could theoretically tag the Trio with some or other bug, preferably something discrete but also durable enough to last the day, and then always know their location for the day. Which would mean no more constantly looking over my back or hiding and hoping they can't find me.
Of course, their hangers-on could still mess with me but they generally just ignored me when the Trio weren't around so I wasn't too concerned.
But it was all a moot point if I couldn't manage to be able to walk around without falling over with my senses on. Ergo, this nauseating experience.
Oh there's our street, finally it's almost over.
Just have to take it nice and easy and wait do we have a termite infestation? Serious-
"Whoa there taylor I gotcha" My dad caught me, I hadn't even noticed I was falling. "Come on, almost there girl." He walked me the rest of the way, helping me up the dodgy step which was brimming with termites.
How did we not notice those?
Dad laid me on the couch, fetched me some sandwiches and left for work, he wanted to stay but the city council was putting the pressure on the unions, they needed to fill some or other quota or they lose funding. Something like that. He had his usual sorries but I just waved him off. I hated that he had to miss work on account of me, regardless of how impossible getting home alone would have been.
Whilst I sat and let my stomach settle, I started getting all their termites out of the stair and where they had holed up in the rest of the house. I remembered reading somewhere that termite saliva was some kind of flexible building adhesive, so I had them fill up the holes they left with it as they left. I would have thought that directing so many separate individuals each on their own task would be quite difficult but for some reason it was simple to do. With nowhere better to put them I just had them tunnel into a reasonably empty spot under our lawn and set them to building a little colony there.
After I stopped controlling them, I realised that they were still following the order that I gave them, which was also interesting. Did that mean that Any order I gave to any insect would be followed no matter if I left or not? That needed to be tested and was rather important, so I sucked up my discomfort and struggled up the stairs. Thankfully I still had a smaller notebook from before the Trio started ruining all my books, so it was of reasonably good quality and not the generic cheap ones I used these days.
It took me at least ten minutes just to climb the stairs, with multiple breaks to rest which was just sad, really. So step one before I even touched this thing with a pen was to make sure that there was no possible way for dad to find this.
Because.
Well he just shouldn't find it, I couldn't quite articulate it, but it was imperative that he never find out about what I was planning.
So I sat on my bed and grabbed one of the books from my shelf that I'd read way too many times as a cover to my activities, grabbed a pen and began writing down all my observations and questions from the past week since I gained my powers. Was there a word for what happens to me? Do all capes have to go through something like this? I hoped not, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I glanced at my computer and debated doing some research on it but was not looking forward to having to wait minutes for each page to load.
It was well into the night when dad came home and I frantically hid the notebook (need a name for the thing) under my pillow and opened my novel to a random page. I was so engrossed in what I was doing I didn't even notice him until he was almost up the stairs and I noticed some of the bugs acting funny.
"Taylor? Oh here you are, I brought us some Chinese food, I can carry it up here if you're… uh…"
"It's ok dad," I pushed myself out of bed but almost stumbled on my way to the door. I pushed my pride down and put my arm out for dad to take. "Alright I could probably use a hand."
Dinner was even more awkward than it had been the last few years, I could see he knew there was more to the story but didn't want to push. He seemed to settle for trying to engage me in more small talk than our usually quiet affairs.
After he helped me back into my room I properly hid my hero journal and took stock of the critters I could feel. The termites were still diligently building a new home under the backyard, there were some caterpillars in what I assumed was Mrs Hendrick's vegetable garden based on their direction and distance. I couldn't think of anything to do with them except maybe feed them to the termites? They were a pest sure but who knew when their building/excavating skills could come in handy.
The only problem with that plan was that I would need to get them across the street without arousing suspicion, that seemed like a really dumb way to out myself. So I let them be for now. After I just laid in bed staring at a formation of flies I had circling overhead thinking of a way to sneak the caterpillars over. Eventually I fell asleep, waking up when I heard dad in the shower and armed with a bevy of awful aches and pains. Being off painkillers was a right bitch, but they were expensive and I was deathly afraid of getting addicted to them.
I was halfway asleep before I noticed that the flies were still circling overhead, or at least some of them were, a bunch had fallen to the ground and were either dead or weakly trying to get up to resume flying. I had them disperse with a thought and quickly noted the occurrence in the journal, especially since the termites were still mostly fine, working just as they did in nature.
After slowly getting ready for the day and waiting for dad to leave I took a walk outside to try and find a way to sneak the caterpillars over. It was far easier than I thought it would be since right out front of their house was a grate partially covered in weeds and creepers was a storm grate, identical to one just in front of my house.
I had to hurry inside to write ths down because this had the potential to be something very very big. Storm sewers, much like insects was something nobody thought about until they were a problem, but a quick search on her old computer (read frustrating 30 minute slog of waiting for pages to load) revealed that Brockton Bay had an extensive storm sewer system that ran all through the city. It was started all the way back in the 1970's when huge storms cased massive flooding damage to the city, and extended in the 1980's when the shipping industry was booming and the city was prosperous. It was also when the extent of the aquifer under Brockton Bay was documented and the storm sewer system had to be reworked to prevent rapid erosion since the sewers were almost constantly in use. The most recent newsworthy mention of the sewers was a story from 2006 about a hydrokinetic villain who had taken up residence in a section near the docks, apparently his capture had resulted in damage to the system for an entire block.
The last thing I expected was that the history of storm sewers would be so extensive, but I had to force myself away before I just end up spending the entire day reading Wikipedia articles about storm drains. It took a bit but I finally found what I was after, a map of Brockton Bay that was specifically designed to show the location of the network, it didn't show all the smaller drains but it did note all the locations where a person could enter. I would need to print it at school which was going to be a pain but at least I could do so without arousing suspicion, or at least no more suspicion than is usually levied towards me by the librarian when I print out the disgusting shit I get emailed to me.
Problem solved, solution to a problem I didn't even know I had found I set to work removing the pests from Mrs Hendricks garden. Directing them through an area where I couldn't see was somewhat challenging, especially since a chunk of them drowned in the ever-present flow of water underground. It took a while but I figured out that if I stopped directly controlling them and instead gave them the command to move through the sewer to the backyard they could do so semi autonomously reducing the amount that died because I directed them into a waterflow.
I was only sending them in small amounts since they still had to cross most of a pavement on the way into the sewer which was still suspicious so I had to be careful, so it took at least an hour to move all…96? 96 caterpillars, as well as a few hundred aphids which were faster as they were smaller, faster, and could move much more discretely.
Although it was all for nought since it turns out termites don't even eat other insects, another frustrating but also fascinating Wikipedia dive uncovered that they actually eat plants and broke down the cellulose to get their energy. Or more accurately, the microbes in their digestive systems do. My practise from earlier allowed me to easier extract myself from taking a termite deep dive.
In the meanwhile, I had a test to do. I tried to find a way to let the pests lose with the specific instruction to eat all the weeds that they could process which was easier said than done. It wasn't a simple command like move from a to be, nor was it just directed normal behaviour like build a termite heap over here. Well ok it kind of was? They do normally eat what they could process, obviously or they'd be dead, but this command was out of their norm, I wanted them to eat according to additional strange (to a insect's brain) conditions.
It was, well it was sort of like programming actually, I needed them to fulfil a conditional statement, but my control of the was sort of like moving an arm, you just do it. I'd be hard pressed to say, program my arm to always automatically clench if I saw green. But it was clearly possible since I'd set flies to circle my roof while I slept which was definitely not their normal behaviour.
What did I do that made the flies act like that perpetually, I just remember directly controlling them but I have no clue as to when exactly I fell asleep and what I was ordering them as I fell asleep. Maybe I just let go of direct control whilst giving them a command? Worth a shot. So I set the pests on the plants I wanted them to, keeping them in our and our direct neighbours' yards whilst I made myself lunch since I was getting very peckish. After my lunch I let go of the control and started writing all my observations from today into the journal as well as the current test. Though it would take a while for the results to actually be clear so I put it mostly out of mind and went back to my computer and tried to continue with my reading on termites, a task made near impossible by the building pain from my still healing injuries. It had been getting progressively worse since the morning and had reached a point where it was becoming hard to focus on anything other than the pain.
Fuck the trio, I briefly entertained the thought of covering them in wasp and bee stings to give them a taste of what they did to me. It was tempting, like the thought of the gun I knew dad kept in his room somewhere. I could always just walk into school one day and… No I couldn't think of that, if I did that they would win. Not that they weren't already winning, and really, could my life truly get so much worse? Not that I'd likely live much further past that if I did it, maybe if I could kill them first I'd get the last laugh.
No, fuck! That's not me, I brought the thought of mom to the fore, imagined her hugging me. The gentle beatific hugs she always gave me, sometimes before I even realised, I was struggling. Hugs dad could never replicate, especially after mom died.
It took me a while to get out of the fugue that thought always brought when I realised that at some point I'd fallen down. I just laid on the ground for a bit, wiping away the tears I didn't even realise were falling.
"Oh my god Taylor! Are you alright?"
Wait, dad, when?
"Wh-when did?" I tried to get out, how long was I out of it for?
"Shh It's ok, deep breaths Taylor." He knelt down and hugged me.
I tried to imagine that it was mom, that she was whispering in my ears that it was all ok, but I couldn't keep the image in my mind. It got harder every year, and the hug was all wrong, it was uncertain, rough skin where it should be smooth. I took deep breaths, tried to keep out of mind the burning in my lungs, and the pained burning on my body.
I don't know how long it took but I was vaguely aware of dad helping me upstairs and into bed. By the time I managed to calm down I was completely totalled and fell asleep.
-x-
Thankfully I managed to keep it together far better for the rest of the week, by the end I had finally gotten more or less used to walking without falling over, and though I was no closer to interpreting what the insects saw I was getting way better at interpreting the "swarm sense" it sort of felt like being in the third person, I can feel where the insects are in relation to me and create a sense of a 3D model of all the bugs in range. At the moment I was trying to refine this feeling by including the sense of touch bugs have so I could differentiate different surfaces, but it was difficult work. It required me to separate their sense of touch from their other harder to interpret senses which was easier said than done. As it stood, I'd only managed it for short periods of time after concentrating hard but it seemed to be getting marginally easier. The hope was that I would have it down in time for when I returned to school on the 24th, which gave me aa solid week to figure this out no pressure.
Though the ability to, heh, bug the Trio and use my sense to avoid them all day at school was a massive motivating factor. Hell, I'd even located my bug of choice, sitting innocuously in a jar half full of flour were a few dozen bread beetles, or stegobium panaceum. Small, about 3mm long at maximum and a dull brown, they should also be hardy enough to survive the day. The plan was to sneak these onto them (how exactly I hadn't figured out yet) and have them hide somewhere on their clothes. I was still refining the plan, but I was pretty excited to take steps to ensure I only ever have to deal with them in class.
Though it just hinged on being able o interpret their sense of touch so I could effectively direct them to the best spot without my direct oversight.
The pain was almost gone, only the occasional twinge which was fine. I was still very weak, but I was walking out daily to take scope of the bugs in my direct neighbourhood as well as all the storm drains my bugs could use. A lot of them were covered in creepers which is very useful for discretely moving bugs in and out. Well it will be when I finally get the swarm sense down and can map the system by touch.
My first test with the pests didn't work, they all just made their way back to Mrs Hendrick's garden, apparently directly releasing my control just lets them go back to what they would be doing instinctively. It took me until yesterday to finally sort of crack the code on that one. What I had to do was still be controlling or directing them but then take my focus off of them. It was kind of like falling asleep, its really hard to force and you can't pin the exact point from direct control to them following previous orders.
My current theory on how it worked was that I was correct with my programming analogy and when it worked what I was doing was essentially like reprogramming their minds to complete the task I want them to do instead of what they want to do. Which had some seriously interesting implications which are proving really hard to test, currently I was busy instructing bugs of various complexity/intelligence to perform increasingly complicated tasks, but the results are still a bit inconclusive since I didn't have the trick 100% down so if they don't perform a task its hard to tell if its just that they don't have the 'computing capacity' to do it or if I'd fucked up the command. It was really starting to become reminiscent of my only bearable class at Winslow, computers with Mrs Knott.
I abandoned my current tests as a fools errand, made a note in my Journal which was really starting to fill up surprisingly quickly with notes and theories about my power, so I decided to get a second copy of the same notebook, albeit a dustier copy, it was buried deep in my cupboard. I kept the first for notes about my powers and all the tests of it I was doing and used the second for more general hero notes. The sewer map would be going in the second, and all my observations of the system were copied into it too.
I went into the kitchen to challenge myself by making some lasagne, it would never be like mom's but now more than ever I needed to be close to her, needed her help. And I don't care how many burnt lasagnes it would take I'm going to make them just like her.
I was already a somewhat frequent lurker on the PHO forums, but I spent most of the last Friday – the best day of the week for our internet for some arcane reason – to do some digging on the cape scene in Brockton Bay. It was an odd city, with an abnormally high cape population, a fact that made a lot more sense after I'd gotten my powers and realised what it takes, Brockton Bay is a complete shithole, and the worse the city gets the more capes we get, which is a problem because capes are half the reason the city is so shitty in the first place. It was a terrible cycle.
So I tried to do a page on the heroes and villains in the city, an arduous task with our internet but I made do. At the moment I just had a basic profile on all the major ones, the hero profiles were just a basic power description, mostly in the hopes that there would be one that I might synergise with, as well as a little bit on their personality, mainly lifted from people talking about them on threads and their interactions. It was pretty hard to put that together and a bit nebulous but the last thing I want to do is for my first act as a superhero to be accidentally pissing off a superhero.
The villains profiles were a little bit more in depth, or at least I tried to get them more in depth but between my shitty internet and the secretive nature of villains meant that their profiles were depressingly vague. Much more important were the warnings I'd pilfered straight from the PRT's own website about the villains. I at least knew who I should avoid at all costs which was very important information.
I was still grumbling to myself about it when dad came home and noticed what I was cooking. It was an awkward but at least rather edible dinner that night, I'm pretty sure I missed half of the spices that mom used but she never wrote down the recipe, so I had to guess quite a bit.
Dad was still trying to talk to me more than usual, even though he was tired from work. I appreciated it even though it was massively awkward and stilted, I think he still sometimes expects mom to butt in with some brilliant comment, or to tease him for saying something especially nerdy. But other than that it was…nice, I still couldn't even consider bringing up my powers, he seemed to be getting better and I didn't want to ruin that for him by making him worry.
-x-
It was Sunday the 23rd, one day before I had to go to school and once dad had finally gone to sleep and stopped hovering, whilst it made me feel warm inside to know he cared so much it was seriously starting to get in the way of my preparations to actually improve my school life. I was finally able to go around and set up the preparations for school tomorrow. I was able to finally get the sense of touch right yesterday and felt ready to start school, the Bread Beetles were healthy, so now I was just figuring out how to ensure I could reliably get them onto the trio. I'd had a brainwave on Wednesday, but it required me to collect a few things first, the beetles, some clay, a small spider or three and a bunch of termites.
I got them all together and ran a practise run. It worked perfectly. I smiled
I was ready.
-x-
AN: Let me know what you think, good and/or bad. I'm planning on going for a much more stealth/surveillance focused Taylor, with a big focus on maximising the weird and wonderful talents of critters and the many many ways you can use them to terrorise crooks. Like, bugs are seriously fascinating if creepy and gross (I'm 90% sure I'm entomophobic so this is just going to be my own nightmare fuel).
Keep safe everyone.
PS: Also If anyone has any ideas for a title for this story I'd greatly appreciate it, I appear to have pulled a Taylor here whoops.
