Chapter 1

As usual I own no part of pitch perfect, this idea just wouldn't go away! Enjoy guys…warning, it's not the happiest story I have written.

The music blasted through my headphones as I rushed across the quad, trying to force myself through another day. Every day seemed to be this way now; lonely, boring…it was like all purpose was gone without her to share it with.

Her. Beca. From the moment I saw her I knew she was the one. She was perfect, amazing, everything I have ever wanted. The only problem, she didn't want me back. All she ever did was push me away, and it hurt. It fucking hurt like hell and I just can't do it anymore.

I continued the trek back to my dorm, trying to force myself to think of anything but her and the last time she was near me. I had slammed the door in her face. Not my usual way of acting but she just doesn't get it! I can't just be friends with her anymore when all I want to do is tell her I love her. Being around her, seeing her face is just too hard when I know I'll never be able to call her mine.

Instinctually, I look to my right at the spot I have officially dubbed as "Beca's Tree," although I'm not really sure whether I want to see her there or not. Every time I walk past this spot I look over, and generally she has her headphones on and is working on something amazing.

Yup, there she is, sitting in the shade with her eyes closed, facing my direction. What the hell? Why does she look like she's in pain? Looking closer I realize something is very wrong and my heart stops. She's covered in bruises, deep purple bruises that only come from having the crap beat out of you. What happened to her?

My mind is warring with itself as I stare at her, taking in her broken form and the fact that she's in her pajamas…the Beca I know would never leave her room like this. Still, she doesn't want me to be there. She told me to back off and that's what I have done.

I can't walk away though, I feel myself being drawn in closer and I can't help the gasp that escapes my lips as I see tears running down her face. She's crying? That's it; the war ends abruptly as I hear her sobbing. It doesn't matter if she wants me or not, it doesn't matter if she is never going to see me as more than a friend. Right now she needs me, and I am not going to just walk away from this.

Rushing to her side quickly, I kneel in front of her and reach to pull her towards me, longing to comfort her. She flinches away and my heart stops. Why am I doing this?

"What do you want Jesse?" She angrily wipes at the tears streaming down her face and fights back a groan as she presses on the tender flesh. "Didn't you say you were done?"

In my defense, when I'm angry I'm not always the best person. Grabbing her hand, I force her to look at me, everything I am feeling forcing its way out with my words. "What do I want?" The battle over getting pissed off is being lost fast as I press on. "Really Beca? I want to know why you look like a punching bag! I want you to let me in!"

She flinches away and backs herself against the tree and my heart stops. Is she afraid of me? She can't think I would-

My thoughts are cut off as she turns her face up to me, her voice hard. "You want to know why I look like a punching bag?" Her eyes flash and she stands up, gripping her hip in pain. "It's your fault you bastard!"

What? How the hell is this my fault? I sure as hell didn't do this…

"I don't know huh? I DON'T KNOW?!" She is yelling at me now and I can't help but be a little scared for my personal safety. "You think I don't know why you were upset, why you wouldn't call me back? I know Jesse." I stand up, shock on my face. What? "I was coming to tell you I loved you!"

My eyes grew wide and I took a step towards her, wanting nothing more than to pull her into my arms. "Bec-"

"No! No Swanson. You don't get to speak yet." She backs up a little further and glares at me. "If you had let me finish you would know that I don't know why, or I didn't know why, I push people away…but it wasn't the same with you. You were in. I wanted this…I wanted you." Tears were streaming down her cheeks and I reached my hand out, begging her to take it even as the tears streamed down mine.

"Beca please, what happened to you?" It came out so quietly I wasn't even sure she had heard me at first. What had happened? She loves me? No…she said loved…but that was only a week ago. I really need to know what happened.

The terror filled me at the thought that I had blown my one chance of getting the girl I love. Would she accept my apology? Would she let me in again now that I shut her out? Oh God, please…PLEASE don't let this be the end.

"What happened to me?" Her voice was rising again and she clutched her arms around her protectively. "Luke happened!" My gasp was probably heard across the quad but it didn't matter. Luke? Luke did this?

"I went into the station in the hopes that I could have a quiet place to cry, away from everyone." She took a deep breath, looking into my eyes and showing me how much pain she was really in. "He showed up and he told me he would make me forget about you…I think he was drunk? Maybe high?"

I felt like I was going to throw up as my mind wrapped itself around what she was saying. Praying that I was just jumping to conclusions, I waited for her to continue. "He…he forced me against the desk and tore my pants off, beating me any time I tried to scream or begged him to stop." I stepped forward again, pulling her into my arms as she broke down.

My mind was racing. First, I needed to help her. I had to show her that I love her too, and that I will never push her away again. Then…well then Luke was going to wish for death and then I was going to make sure he never showed his face around here again.

"Jesse…he…he r-" I cut her off. I couldn't bear to hear the word.

"Shhh Bec, I know. I'm here. I won't let him hurt you again." I kissed her hair and just held her for a moment. "I love you Beca, and I am so sorry. I will never let anyone hurt you again." She pushed herself away from me, more tears coming as her anger came back.

"Don't say that!" Her eyes were hard and she was shaking now, breaking apart in front of me. "Don't you dare say that. I loved you!" I flinched at the past tense and tried not to let my heart shatter again.

"You can't possibly love me now. You can't possibly want me anymore, or want to stay. It doesn't matter what I felt or feel, you couldn't possibly love me now."

I felt the anger boil in my stomach. Can't love her? Can't stay? It doesn't matter? Who the hell does she think she is? "Beca Anne Mitchel." Her eyes narrow at my use of her full name and I take a step towards her, my voice dangerously low. "Don't you EVER tell me what I can and cannot feel."

Trying to keep my anger in check, I force the pain back down. She's hurting; she feels broken…I don't need to add to that.

"If I tell you I love you, and I am not leaving, I mean it. That is not something I throw around lightly." I take a deep breath as she stares intensely into my eyes. "Beca, Luke is a bastard, and he hurt you…and I hurt you. I shouldn't have closed the door on you. I should have chased after you…hell I should have gone to my shift at the station." I groaned, realizing in that moment the many ways I could have stopped this.

"But Bec, I love you. I have since I first met you and you can't change that. No matter what you do, I will always be here loving you." She's sobbing again and I crush her back into my arms, mindful of her bruises. "Do you understand?"

I feel her nod against my chest and I can't help the sigh of relief that leaves me. I am seriously going to kill Luke. Who the fuck does he think he is to hurt her like that? Not my Beca. I can't help the guilt that rises to the surface. If I had just listened to her…none of this would have happened.

"Jess?" I look down and see her eyes. Finally, no more tears. "It hurts. Can we maybe go watch a movie?" Smiling down at her, I pick her up bridal style and walk back to my dorm room, thankful that Benji is gone for now. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want him to see her like this.

"Hey Bec? Have you been to a doctor?" I cringe as I feel her clutch tighter to me. Shit…why can't I be better at this? Maybe I should just stop asking questions…

"Yeah…they did a rape kit…and some other tests." Her head is burrowed into my chest and I have never seen her so vulnerable. "I'll have to go back tomorrow for the results." Kissing her hair, I walk us back to my room quickly, taking her in and putting her on the bed.

"You sure you want a movie? We could just sleep if you want to." I watch her visibly relax into my pillow and I can't help but smile. Sleep it is. Eventually the movies would continue but not today.

Sliding in next to her, I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her. "You're safe Becs. Nothing is going to hurt you."

"I know." Her breath fans across my neck and I stifle the groan it causes. Now is not the time for any of that.

"What are we doing Beca?" Even though I'm trying to keep the pain out of my voice, I'm pretty sure I'm not successful.

"Jesse…I," My heart constricts as I prepare myself for the worst possible thing she could say, tears forming in my eyes. "I can't ask you to, I shouldn't want…you deserve so much more than-"

I kiss her hair and tilt her face to look at mine. "Why don't you let me decide what I deserve, and please…PLEASE want." I wipe the tears from her eyes again, staring into them and trying to show her everything I feel. "I love you so much Becs."

Her lips turn up into a smile and I can't help the way my heart soars as she places a kiss above my heart, tugging herself just that much closer. "I love you too Jess."

I'm on cloud nine, and for a moment I let myself forget. Crashing my lips to hers before I even realize it, I feel her wrap her arms around me and deepen the kiss, tangling her fingers into my hair.

My thoughts rush back to me quickly and I pull back, knowing she isn't ready for that yet. If we move past this right now, she will regret it forever. I kiss her nose and tuck her back into my chest, holding her protectively as I listen to her breath even out, relaxing against my pillows with her in my arms. "Sleep now My Heart, I will never let you go again."

So what do you think? I know, it's another new one…but I have to get some of these ideas out of my head or the others aren't going to go anywhere. :P I really like this one, although it is exceptionally emotional. Broken Beca is really never fun to write, but this just wouldn't go away. Thoughts?