Hello! So, it's been forever since I've written fanfiction, so I'm not sure how this will turn out. I'm mostly writing this because I love Leo, and it's a good outlet for my emotions (it will be slightly dark as a result).

A few things you need to know:

1. If you don't know the song Polaroid by Imagine Dragons, I would suggest you read the lyrics and/or listen to it. It's my inspiration for this story and always makes me think of Leo. This song is also where the title comes from.

2. This story begins after Leo fires on New Rome in Mark of Athena, and it will probably all take place during that book. Let me know if my story has any inconsistencies with the book (I've been doing my best to research thoroughly, however, so hopefully there won't be).

3. Feel free to critique me, as long as it is constructive. I will be writing quite a lot of dialogue/etc. in Spanish, but as I'm not yet fluent, I will mostly be using Google translate, so there will undoubtedly be inaccuracies, which you may feel free to point out to me so that I can fix them. I'll put translations on the bottom, unless you guys would rather me put translations in parentheses next to the Spanish.

4. I would love any requests, and will consider all of them, but I make no promises. I will most likely not write too many other genres then those predetermined, but it depends. I have a slightly corrupted mind, but this fiction will NOT have any sexual content or slash, because I simply don't write that way. However, there will be a lot of other things, which I will now give a long list of warnings for. Please, please, please do not read if any of these things could hurt your mental health! I know that I have a habit of reading extremely dark fics when I'm depressed, and that has always been very bad for me. Please don't do that to yourself.

Warnings: major depression, panic attacks, self-hate, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts and possibly attempts, mentioned/implied child abuse, violence, torture of a young teenager, minor language, very subtle, hardly perceivable hints at attempted rape, implied eating disorder, possibly more, which I will let you know about if they come up.

5. I do not own Heroes of Olympus, nor any of the many songs that I will be using as inspiration/chapter titles, and I do not intend to make any profit from any of these things, other than the profit of enjoying the outlet of writing, channeling my emotions into something (hopefully) healthy, and the reviews from some amazing people.

6. There will be times when I will take forever to update. My life is very busy and sometimes stressful, and I have a boatload of emotional and mental problems that quite often make it extremely hard for me to keep up with life. I don't necessarily have time to be writing this, but I am anyway, so you'll have to forgive me on the occasions that I go a month without updating. I will do my best for you.

Alright, now it's finally storytime. Hope you all enjoy! This chapter is quite angsty, and not my best writing, but I promise that it will get better.


Chapter One- Demons

"You will not find a place among your brethren."

Leo knew she was right. He had never been good with people. He had never had a real, permanent home where he belonged. Even in his new group of friends, he didn't really belong.

Oh sure, his powers were very useful. He had found them a dragon, killed a few monsters, cooked them some pretty great food, and worked himself nearly to death, quite literally- not that they'd noticed or cared, who would?- building them the Argo II.

He flew the ship; fixing, commanding, navigating, and just generally working his butt off every day and night just to keep the ship, group, and quest together. On top of that, he was their cook, jester, counselor, janitor, and man-who-gets-called-on-to-do-every-single-stupid-little-job.

He'd even managed to hide his depression and put up a very well-crafted mask of annoying jokes, fake smiles, and a bubbly, outgoing nature, so that he'd be sure never to burden the others or bring them down.

But he was still just the repair boy. The comic relief. The seventh wheel.

Still, that was better than being shunted from awful home, to worse home, back to awful home, or else living on the streets.

Much better.

And maybe having a sort-of family could have lasted a bit longer, if Leo hadn't blown it, quite literally.

He winced at the reminder of what he'd done, and turned the door handle of his bedroom cautiously, checking that Coach Hedge wasn't still lurking outside. The hallway was empty, and Leo slipped out.

What had happened? Leo didn't know exactly what had taken control of him, but he did know one thing- he had been weak, once again. And it had nearly cost the crew their lives and their quest.

He reached the engine room, and quietly slipped inside.

He wouldn't normally have to be so careful, but he knew the others didn't trust him to be off on his own, especially while they were all asleep. Not anymore.

Leo walked around the room, making small repairs, creating things with bits and pieces from around the room or his toolbelt, and doing anything he could think of to try and drown out the voices in his head.

But finally, he gave up, and sank to the floor, exhausted. He hadn't slept in several nights, due to the stressed out crew constantly coming to him with complaints, worries, jobs, and requests. He had been yelled at several times by Annabeth, but he knew that she was very stressed and didn't blame her. Better him than someone else, anyway; he was used to it and could take it.

And with the exception of the welcoming feast in New Rome, he hadn't really been eating much. He'd been too busy, and even when he wasn't he usually felt either too sick to eat, or too full of self-loathing to allow himself the pleasure.

But Leo had survived much longer without food and rest, in his days on the streets, and during the many months of building the Argo II. He may not have been the most physically strong, but he was much tougher than any of his friends realized.

Leo sat perfectly still, with the exception of his hands, which went on with their tinkering. For a long time he sat there, listening intently to the humming of the engine. He had hoped that coming down here would help with the memories, but it didn't.

"You will not find a place among your brethren... always be the outsider."

"You're annoying, Leo. You never take anything seriously. You can't even fix a dragon."

Leo winced at the memory of Jason's voice. Jason, who was upstairs fighting for his life, all because of Leo. And what he had said was true- Leo definitely annoyed his friends. And he hadn't been able to save Festus, his friend, the best thing he'd ever fixed.

"But they do not protect your mother, and they cannot stop me from breaking your spirit. Remember this night, little hero, when they ask you to oppose me."

Leo shuddered. He couldn't help remembering that night. His mother's last smile. Gaia's voice. The feeling of losing control. He made no effort to hold back the tears that came. He heard his Tia, aka Hera, speak next.

"Where is your bravery, little hero? Show me the Fates were right to choose you."

And then... "Te amo, mi hijo. Mi pequeño bicho fuego tonto!"

This memory hurt the most.

He could see her laughing face as if she were really there. She looked aged and tired beyond her years, much like he did now, but she was still breathtakingly beautiful. Her warm brown eyes, identical to Leo's, were always so full of love when she looked at him.

Leo cried harder, choking on his futile attempts to stop the tears. Compared to what the others had said, you might think this was a much less painful memory, but no, it was the worst. It was a reminder of the light that he had lost, the home he hadn't had in over eight years. The biggest mistake he'd ever made.

Leo heard one more voice, harsh and cold.

"Worthless little diablo! I always knew you were a monster, a curse. You are a curse on our family! You have robbed me of my sister. You're a diablo niño, you don't deserve to live. Usted no merece ayuda... Te mereces el dolor! Dejar."

Leo could almost feel her slap, as if it hadn't been years, but merely seconds. He remembered her attacking him, kicking him and cutting him with her sharp nails. The half-moon shaped scars seemed to represent the scars of his mother's death and his aunt's hateful words. He now had many, many more scars that represented many, many more wounds.

Leo's head began to pound in harmony with the engine's creaking. He buried his face in his hands, his hands tightening around the roots of his messy hair. The pain of his hair being pulled almost helped relieve the tension, but it still wasn't enough to make it go away.

"Dejar." He muttered. "Vaya, por favor. Dejar de hacerme daño, por favor! Mamá, ayúdame! Te amo, mamá... Te necesito!"

His desperate voice grew louder, and cracked. None of his friends would recognize the broken boy curled up on the floor, crying. Begging for help.

He was so weak; so-effing-weak, and he hated himself for it.

"Haz que se detenga..." He whispered.

He sat that way for a few minutes, until he suddenly lifted his head, wearily, an empty expression on his face. His brown eyes had been full of sadness, but were now angry as well.

"No." He said. "Todo esto es mi culpa. I failed again!"

He stepped jerkily toward a table cluttered with random items, almost as if he was fighting with himself.

"Ella tenía razón. Yo no merecen la ayuda!"

Reaching the table, his deft fingers quickly found and grabbed the glittering pocketknife that sat there. He looked at it sadly, as if he needed it but also loathed it.

"Merezco dolor..."

With those words, he began pulling the knife across the skin of his left arm; his movements starting out calm and deliberate- not matching the desperate look in his eyes- but growing to be more forceful and hungry, as if he could somehow drown out his emotional pain with physical pain. Or perhaps as if his blood could wash over things and make them better. Like a peace offering.

One mark for Jason, who had been injured because of Leo's mistakes.

One mark for the innocent Romans he had attacked- proof of his weakness. Another for his stupidity in thinking that he'd finally found a real home. Another for Festus.

And finally, a mark for Esperanza. Leo's beloved mama, whom he had failed.

More scars, to represent more wounds.

It was as if Leo was breaking from the inside, and it was slowly becoming visible, in all the many scars covering his body. In the sharp, malnourished bones and in the dark circles under his once-bright eyes and in the way Leo's hands never stopped shaking these days, because his anxiety never left him- something that he could only hide by keeping his hands moving.

Finally, Leo crawled over to a little hidden niche next to the engine, and put away the knife. He pulled a bandage out of his tool belt and wrapped it expertly around his forearm. He sat completely still, even his hands-he felt too empty now to even feel anxious- and watched the red stain grow larger on the pure white fabric. It was oddly calming, and that thought would have sickened Leo if he hadn't felt so hollow.

Finally, Leo slept.


Ok guys! First chapter done. I know it was really angsty, and I apologize, but it was kinda necessary. It will still be quite angsty later, but I promise there is hope to come for Leo, despite the depressing-ness. I'm sorry for being so mean to my baby... But the greatest heroes suffer the greatest pain, which is kind of the point of this story. Please tell me what you guys think! Tell me what you liked, and what you think I could improve.

And now, it's translation time.

Ti amo, mi hijo- I love you, my son.

Mi pequeño bicho fuego tonto- My silly little fire bug.

Diablo/diablo niño- Devil/devil child.

Usted no merece ayuda- You do not deserve help.

Te mereces el dolor- You deserve pain.

Dejar- Leave.

Vaya, por favor- Go, please.

Dejar de hacerme daño, por favor- Stop hurting me, please.

Mamá, ayúdame- Mama, help me.

Te amo, mamá- I love you, mama.

Te necesito- I need you.

Haz que se detenga- Make it stop.

Todo esto es mi culpa- This is all my fault.

Ella tenía razón- She was right.

Yo no merecen la ayuda- I don't deserve help.

Merezco dolor- I deserve pain.

A/N: "Mijo", the word Rick has Esperanza call Leo in the books, actually means millet. I'm not sure exactly what was up with Uncle Rick's brain there, but I personally will not be nicknaming my bae Leo after a type of grain.

On that random, amusing note, goodbye loves! God bless. Thank you so much for reading!