[Summary] Sometimes faced with danger for so long, lies, psychological abuse, death and paranoia can really change a person from who they used to be and can play a big role in what they morph into. Tortured since junior year, committing murder and other criminal acts to protect herself, the sweet, charming and outgoing Emily changes into this completely different girl that she hardly recognizes in the mirror. Some say it's the effects of trauma, Emily calls it "Acquired Madness".
This story is a Slight AU. This season, season 6, the girls escape the dollhouse and will still have some run ins with A/Charles before everything actually ends. However, in this story, the girls escape the dollhouse and A's taunts completely finishes. Being the slight AU that this story is, not everything that happens on PLL will transfer to this story, only things that will help further the story. For example, in this fic, it was Caleb, Ezra and Toby that helped rescue the girls from the dollhouse while Alison was in lockdown in her house.
Senior year is almost ending and the girls, especially Emily, have to find a way to recuperate and move on with their lives. Everyone deals with rehabilitation and healing differently but Emily and Alison are having a particularly hard time. This is an Emison fiction but I cannot guarantee you a smooth sailing. Unlike the fluff and cuteness of my other story, "Trouaville", this would be the complete opposite. With that being said….
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
This is a rather dark drama and angst-filled story with the relationship between Emily and Alison being tested. Emotions will spiral to hell. I know with the possibility of Emison in PLL failing with new characters and "love interests" coming into the picture, the last thing the fandom needs is more angst so if you are weak-hearted, I suggest you to find a happier story. I say this because I love you enough to warn you :)
And now for the feature presentation….
Acquired Madness
CHAPTER #1: Rotting Blood
Italics means thoughts, emphasized word or action. Bolded is a flashback. (….) is an indication that time has passed.
Silence masks the room as the ticking of the wall clock becomes louder and louder with every second passing.
…Tick…
…Tock…
…Tick…
…Tock…
…TICK...
…TOCK…
…TICK...
…TOCK…
Emily emptily blinks as she sits stiffly on a black leather chair, looking ahead of her at a café brown painted wall. Dr. Sullivan intently stares at the brunette like a child waiting as they watch the cuckoo clock on the wall, anticipating the bird to pop out at the strike of a new hour, chiming the time.
Except the bird never appears.
The chiming never comes.
The strike of the new hour reaches,
And there is nothing.
Nothing but silence,
And ticking.
…TICK...
…TOCK…
…TICK...
…TOCK…
The sound of Dr. Sullivan's pen making contact with her notepad faintly adds onto the monotone ticks, causing Emily to narrow her eyes at her, not breaking her body posture. After a few moments of writing notes about her patient, Dr. Sullivan clicks her pen and raises her head back towards the brunette only to find Emily glaring at her. An uneasy sensation waves over the psychiatrist's body as the scowl on Emily's face pierces through her, making her feel uncomfortable. Her prior face expression registered as impassive, unmoving and distant. However, with her now unblinking eyes fixed on Dr. Sullivan, it is cold and dark in a way that it's unnerving.
It's almost as if you were alone in local gas station store at night. You're searching the aisles for a quick snack and drink to settle your sudden munchies when you finally pick out something. You walk over to the checkout where there is a line of two people in front of you. You patiently wait in the line as your eyes drift around the store to pass time. As your eyes wonder, you see a man staring at you from one of the aisles. He's not looking around to buy anything, he's just standing there.
Motionless.
Staring at you.
From the intense staring and the bad vibes, you look away and focus at the line in front of you, completely creeped out. As the person in the front finally completes their transaction, the line scoots up a step with only one body away from you paying for your things and getting the hell out of there. You don't dare to look back because of the fear of the man still there so your impatience starts to rise as you wish for the person in front of you to hurry up. After a few extra moments, it's your turn to pay for your snacks. You quickly shove the goodies onto the counter as you grab the money out of your pocket. The cashier swiftly scans your products and tells you the final cost. You hurriedly give them your bill as they proceed to retrieve your change. As they count the correct amount of ones and fives they must give back, you begin to rock on your toes anxiously, feeling incredibly uneasy. When the cashier hands you your money, receipt and bag, you let out a quick "Thanks" and speed walk out of the store into the parking lot. Trying to be a normal as possible, you unlock your car door and throw yourself inside. With shaky hands, you start the car immediately, grasping the gear handle to reverse out of your parking spot. Before you turn to look behind you, you glance into the store glass and see the man again, this time in a different spot.
Still staring at you.
The intensity of his look causes you to completely freeze up and grip steering wheel as if there was a life or death situation and if you let go of the wheel, you'll die.
Those unsettling eyes were brown and belonged to a high school senior named Emily Fields.
…
Dr. Sullivan's door swings open as Emily strides out of her office, Dr. Sullivan following behind her. Waited in the waiting room, Wayne and Pam Fields rise to their feet upon seeing Emily and the psychiatrist.
"I'll be in the car." Emily grumbles as she walks past her parents, leaving the building. They watch their daughter leave then turn their sights to Dr. Sullivan who slowly approaches them.
"Was everything alright?" Wayne questions the doctor, worried about his daughter's behavior.
She lets out a wry, flat smile as she consults the parents, "I didn't get anywhere today. That entire hour was spent in silence."
"Wait, she-she didn't talk?" Pam raises her eyebrows in concern.
Dr. Sullivan sadly shakes her head, "We went into the office, I asked her how she was and I got no response back. I told her she can begin to talk whenever she feels comfortable and that's how everything stayed." She crosses her arms and sighs out in defeat, "She didn't utter a word for the whole session."
Pam looks up at Wayne troubled as he scratches the stubble on his sleepless face. "What do you suggest we do, Dr. Sullivan?" He exhaled, his eyes sagging with fatigue.
"Is there any medication that we could use to help improve her behavior?" Pam chimes in.
"Unfortunately, I cannot prescribe any medication for Emily without knowing her behavior prior. If she would just give me something, I would know what category to put her under and what medication would be best suited for her." The psychiatrist explains, "Best bet is to allow Emily to get as close to her normal life as possible. Healthy outlets, allowing her to be around her friends, and your guys' unconditional support. It's going to be a long, rocky journey so a positive environment is something that should be a top priority."
Pam and Wayne give an agreeing nod as Dr. Sullivan extends her hand onto Wayne's shoulders, "If you guys need anything, give me a call." She soothes the distressed parents.
They give their gratitude to the psychiatrist as they turn to exit the office building. Dr. Sullivan hesitates for a moment before calling for Mrs. Fields. Both stopping, Pam gives Wayne the affirmation to wait for her in the car then turns back to the doctor.
"Yes?"
"Going through such a tragedy as Emily did could cause an immense amount of trauma to a person," Dr. Sullivan lowers her voice to a whispering level, causing Pam to lean in closer, "Have you…noticed a drastic change within Emily? A very negative adjustment to her behavior?"
Pam's eyes dart from side to side in front of her as she tries to recall the last week spent with Emily since the dollhouse. "I noticed that she is a little bit more distant, yeah." She nods her head looking up at Dr. Sullivan. "But that's pretty predictable given the situation."
"Yes, it is. However, having Emily as a patient prior, she's showed a tremendous change. Before, as you may know, Emily tended to be anxious a lot; Fidgety, feeling powerless, lack of eye contact. But today, she had this look to her that was quite worrisome to me." Pam clutches her chest as she cringes, worried about the well-being of her daughter. "While sitting in silence, Emily was looking away from me with a vacant expression. I looked away for a brief moment to write some things down and when I look back up, she's glaring at me." She shakes her head as her mind replays the scene over again, seeing Emily's baleful eyes. "This…unkind fixed glare. She held it for about a minute before the session ended but I've never seen her in such a state before."
Pam hangs her mouth partly open in surprise, shaking her head, "I've never seen her do something like that. That doesn't even…that doesn't even sound like my Emily."
"Just…" Dr. Sullivan nods as she reaches out to touch Pam's hand, "Keep special attention on her." She gives a sympathetic smile.
…..
"I think we should start school tomorrow." Hanna despondently suggests to her three other friends as they sit in various parts of Spencer's room; Spencer and Aria sitting on the bed, Hanna sitting on a chair and Emily standing in the doorway. "The longer we wait, the more work we'll have to make up and I really don't want to be working my ass off in the last few moments of senior year."
"You're right," Spencer agrees, "It'll be healthier anyway…us hiding away isn't going to help us heal." Spencer looks down at her fingernails, muttering, "We'll just become prisoners within our own minds."
The girls become quiet, everyone's thoughts flying into different direction while their eyes trail off to themselves.
"How's your mom taking to Caleb staying over?" Aria turns to ask Hanna, coming up with some type of question to keep the room from staying soundless.
"She didn't want him over but what she fails to realize is that I need him. I cannot be left in my" Hanna abruptly stops as she clenches her jaw, "in that room. So at this point, she has no say: Caleb stays. His arms are the only place that I feel safe." She trails off as she fiddles with the bracelet on her wrist, a gift Caleb give her on their anniversary.
"Same with Toby…" Spencer adds on.
"Same with Ezra," Aria makes the third passenger on the feels train, "I wish I could stay with him…"
Emily shifts her feet position as she stands with her shoulder leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. Aria senses possible discomfort.
"Hey, Em. Are you okay? You haven't said anything since we've been here."
"And say what?" She crinkled her eyes as her voice croaks from the lack of vocal cord use. "Add onto the romantic chain-link of how we feel safe in arms that don't belong to us? No thanks," She changes her sights away from the girls as she repositions her crossed arms, "I'm good."
"Have you…" Spencer pauses, contemplating on asking the irritated brunette, "Have you spoken to Paige?"
Emily pushes her jaw to the side as she looks up towards the ceiling, "She said she wanted to come back. I told her not to." Emily keeps her eyes forward, not looking at anything in-particularly but imagining the last time she saw Paige, "I told her I was alright and she shouldn't have to come home…" Sorrow slowly making a home on Emily's face "Not for me. Paige did the right thing, leaving town. I won't drag her back into this."
Just at that second, Spencer's phone beeped, instantly sending waves of anxiety throughout the room with the girls wide eyeing her phone. Spencer looks at her notification and breathes out in relief, "That was Alison. She's almost outside." The stiffness of the room relaxes as the stiffness transfers to Emily's eyebrows.
"Alison?" She bewilderedly questions as if the mention of Alison joining them is unconventional.
"Yeah I-" Spencer frowns, tilting her head at Emily, "I invited her over." She squints, not understanding the strange tone in the brunette's voice, "She is a part of this group too."
Ding Dong!
Spencer scoots her body forward to get off her bed but Emily stops her, "I'll get it." She pushes her body off the door frame and proceeds to answer the door to the awaiting blonde.
Walking down the stairs and towards the door, she catches a glimpse Alison standing on the other side, checking her surroundings as she waits for someone to answer. In a spot that can't be seen from outside looking in, Emily stops in her tracks as she stares at Alison. Her face pinched in annoyance, she debates even allowing Alison inside, making her wait in the heat of the sun. With every waiting second, Emily's tolerance level drops just at the thought of Alison yet alone looking at her. After a few more seconds of prolonging, Emily trudges to the door, swings it open and turns back to walk to Spencer's room, giving no greeting or acknowledgment to Alison.
"Emily." Alison calls out as she closes the flung opened door behind her. Emily continues to walks up the stairs and out of Alison slight, leaving her behind by herself.
"Hanna, are you ready to go?" Emily impatiently interrupts the girls' conversation as she enters Spencer's room.
"We-we just got here." Hanna looks at Emily perplexed. "Why do we have to leave?"
"Because I have to go home." Emily huffs not even trying to come up with a decent excuse of leaving so suddenly. Getting the roundup text from Spencer, Emily drove and picked Hanna up, of course with their assigned police guards tailgating them. The faint creaking of the stairs behind Emily begins to make her muscles tense, knowing it's only a matter of time before Alison is within breathing air of her since she's blocking the door entrance.
"I don't want to go back home. I'll be alone." Hanna tone drops as she hugs herself.
"Then you can stay over at my house." Emily annoyingly offers through her gritted teeth. She tried to remain as calm as possible but slowly losing her patience. Hanna obeys and gets up from her seating, giving a confused Sparia a quick bye. Emily quickly turns away from the room before she nearly runs into Alison. The blonde gives Emily a concerned look, opening her mouth to say something. However, not giving a second moment of hesitation, Emily brushes past Alison and paces it down Spencer's stairs.
"See…you guys…later…" Aria gives a single wave to Hanna.
Alison enters the room just as Hanna is leaving. Hanna gives Alison a nod and walks past her to follow after Emily.
Alison watches Hanna leave, "What happened in here?" she turns back to the remaining girls on the bed.
Spencer shrugs, "Your guess is just as good as mines."
…
Sitting outside in Emily's backyard patio, Emily uses the tips of her toes to push the porch swing she and Hanna are sitting on, Hanna sitting crossed legged. With the sun soon to begin setting, Emily nuzzles her lips around her water bottle looking out into the gated yard out in front of her. Their backdoor slides open and Wayne walks out onto the patio to check on his girls.
"Hey, guys." He walks over to the swing, resting his hands on his hips.
"Hi…" Emily responds, still looking forward.
"Hi, Mr. Fields." Hanna turns and faces Emily's father out of acknowledgment.
"Everything alright out here?"
"Yeah," Hanna responds again since it seems like Emily won't be doing much talking. "Just enjoying the fresh air."
"Alright. Just game out to check up on you guys." Wayne looks down at Emily who is sipping a greenish-brown colored liquid out of her water bottle. "What do you got there, Em?" he notions towards her drink.
Emily slowly swallows her drink, creating an odd silence for about three seconds before responding, "Canada Dry." She exhales. "Just transferred it from the liter to the bottle." She states forwardly.
Wayne slowly nods his head, feeling his unneeded presence and excuses himself back into the house.
Hanna waits until Mr. Fields is out of sight and into the house until she confronts Emily. "Unless Canada Dry has an alcoholic beverage line, I know that's not just carbonated liquid inside that water bottle."
Emily takes another sip of her Canada Dry, "I don't know what you're getting at," Emily still looks forward.
"You might can fool your dad but you can't fool an alcoholic." Hanna challenges Emily, "I can literally smell the liquor from within the bottle." She points to her nose, "This nose is a trained nose."
Emily finally turns to face Hanna, "I didn't lie. It is Canada Dry." She looks back forward then tilts her head to the side, "Its Canada Dry with Canadian Rye whiskey. Just going full out Canadian tonight. Give me a couple hours and I'll develop a Canadian accent."
Hanna smiles as she shakes her head, looking out into the backyard as well, "And you didn't even offer me some. What kind of friend are you?"
"I'm a fucking good friend." Emily responds back on beat causing Hanna to shoot her a look.
"What's up with you today? You seem…off"
"Oh no, I'm great. Superb. Fantastic. Fuckin' A." Emily raises the bottle to her lips but then stops before making contact, "You have Caleb, Aria has Ezra, Spencer has Toby and I….I have Rye. This is what keeps me warm at night." Emily throws her head back and guzzles a mouthful of the last remains of her bottle. When finished, she examines over at her empty bottle as if she's making sure it's completely. "Rye…"She nods her head, "Rye is good to me." Emily gets up to grab herself another round when Hanna pulls her back into the swing.
"Emily. What the hell is going on?" She demands in a seriously concerned tone, leaning into the buzzed brunette.
"Well," Emily smacks her lips, "Right now we're on house arrest, although we can go anywhere we want with the exception of being followed by police officers." Emily leans in cheek to cheek with Hanna as she points out into the left side of her yard, leading into a back road. "And if you'd look to your left….you'll see a cruiser sitting over there with probably…" Emily squints her eyes as she bounces her head from side to side, trying to think, "…two officers watching our every. move."
Hanna lightly pushes Emily off of her, not taking her eyes off of Emily. "Why were you such in a rush to leave earlier?"
"I was planning on leaving anyways." Emily pouts indifferently, leaning back into the swing as she begins pushing the swing back and forth with her toes a little harder, looking straight ahead.
"Ok!" Hanna throws her hands in the air, "Quit the bullshit, Emily. You're gonna tell me everything right now. You were standing patiently still while we were up there. Spencer mentions Alison and you tense up? You allow her inside and the next thing I know, I'm being dragged back here within that same second."
"You know, you really shouldn't over exaggerate things."
Ignoring Emily's careless attitude, Hanna still presses on. "Did she say something to you? Is that why we left?"
Emily groans as she stands up, she stretches with her arms outstretched above her head then sighs, looking down at Hanna, "If you allow me to get myself a refill, I'll tell you anything you want to know."
"You're going to get yourself drunk and risk getting caught by your parents?" Hanna cocks an eyebrow, not liking any of this behavior.
"No, I'm not going to get caught." Emily scrunches up her face, dismissing Hanna with a wave of her hand. "After this, I'm going straight to the couch."
Hanna hops off the swing, "Well, I'm coming with."
...
Putting a little more than half of Canada Dry in her water bottle, Emily closes her fridge, bends down and reaches into a cabinet to find her hidden bottle of Rye. With her arms crossed, Hanna stands by the entrance of Emily's kitchen, making sure no parent decides to take a stroll inside, seeing their daughter become intoxicated with her friend keeping watch. Emily spins the cap off the whiskey bottle and tops off hers all the way to the top. Hanna looks back to see if Emily is done creating her concoction
"You want some?" Emily asks Hanna, raising the bottle at her.
Hanna shakes her head, "No, thanks. One of us has to be coherent tonight."
"Ah, coherent." Emily snickers to herself as she closes the lid on the Rye, "Nice word choice, Han."
"How are you able to get away with this, anyway?" Hanna walks over to a crouching Emily with a hushed whisper, "Wouldn't your parents notice that some of their alcohol is missing?"
"Easy," She stands up straight and grabs her drink, "They don't know it's here." The brunette leads Hanna back outside to the swing.
"If they didn't have it, how did you get that?"
"I have my ways."
"No." Hanna closes her eyes and shakes her head, disbelieving Emily. "There is no fucking way you got that alcohol by yourself. Not even with a fake ID."
"What makes you say that?"
"We are two of the five most popular people in Rosewood right now, thanks to our local news and probably all over the US. Everyone knows us as five high school girls. No vendor in this entire town would sell you alcohol. You, Emily Fields, a high school senior. 18 not 21."
Emily raises the bottle to her lips, creating a smirk on her lips, "Who said I brought it?"
Hanna's eyes widen as she leans her head towards the brunette, "You had someone buy it for you? What the hell are you doing, Em?"
"What?" Emily shrugs her shoulders, innocently, "All I did is ask this respectable, guy if he could buy me a drink. I gave him the cash, he brought the Rye, he gave me back my change and we went separate directions. I didn't commit a crime."
"Yeah, well he did!" Hanna shakes her head, taking her eyes off Emily. Out of everyone, she would expect this behavior from herself but Emily seems to be beating her to it. "If anyone saw you guys made that switch, you would ha-" A thought bubble enters Hanna's brain as she stops abruptly mid-sentence. "Wait a second…" She spins her head and stares at Emily with widen eyes once again. "How the hell did you get alcohol while being tailed by cops?"
Emily leans back putting a hand behind her head, "I snuck out."
"What the fuck, Emily?!" Hanna raises her voice louder than normal talking level as her face drops. She quickly looks around to make sure no one is near before she brings it back down. "Did you not understand what we went through?! We still have this fucking psycho on the loose and you're going to sneak out?!" Her eyes burn through Emily as Emily takes another drink out of her bottle, looking at the sun now setting. "And you're totally nonchalant with this!" Hanna huffs as throws her hands up in defeat, frustration taking over her emotions, "Like fuck it, right?"
"Hanna," Emily swallows. She turns to face the red hot blonde who looks ready to pounce on her, "I get that you love me and care about my well-being but I'm ok! You don't have to babysit me."
"What the hell is going on between you and Alison?" Hanna snappishly changes the conversation. Seeing this side of Emily is fairly new to her and she's determined to get to the bottom of it.
"I really don't want to talk about her."
"This is not about what you want to do." Hanna bites back, "I know your drinking habits, Em. You drink when we're all together," She counts one finger, "you drinked when Maya got her ass sent to True North." She counts on her second finger.
"Hey." Emily spits out, the liquor beginning to pass the buzzed stage, "I don't care what point you're trying to make." She points at Hanna, "Don't fucking bring her up."
"You became a drunk when she died." Ignoring Emily's warning, Hanna counts on her third finger. "And we all know what happened during that time. You really want to go through all that again? Because it looks like you're trying to outdo yourself!" Hanna criticizes her friend out of love and concern. Everyone remembers Emily's drunk days. They were often sad, dark, and depressing. Knowing how it feels and the mindset you're in when you turn to alcohol for numbness, Hanna is only being hard because she doesn't want Emily to do this to herself. She doesn't want her to become vulnerable, not to Alison or anyone. Especially when A is liable to show up again since he/she/it/bitch hasn't been found.
"You only drink when you're heartbroken, so, if Alison has you sneaking out and buying liquor off of creeps off the street, we're going to fucking talk about it."
Emily bounces her leg as she bites her bottom lip, shaking her head at the thought of Alison, "It's because she's in my veins. She's in my veins and I need to flush her out." Her words slide off her tongue.
"What?" Hanna uncomprehendingly leans towards Emily, who seems like she's trying to convey something. "She's what?"
"She's like a heroin shot; broke through the skin and into my bloodstream. Except that was my first time doing heroin and everyone said it'll wear off in a few hours." Emily crosses one arm to hold the other, leg bouncing fast enough to shake the swing. "In those hours, I felt fucking amazing," Emily smiles, "because off all the attention and how potent the shot was. Except now, it has never worn off, instead, it's rotting my blood and causing me complications." Emily sucks in her bottom lip, looking forward out, "It has been lingering for years and now I'm scratching at my skin. Scratching to try to rip it out but the more I scratch, the deeper it goes."
Unknowing what to say, Hanna mouth slightly hangs open, speechless at Emily's true feelings. She tries to search for something to say but nothing arises to the occasion.
"Now…I'm a drunk addict," Emily laughs aloud, finding this whole situation pretty humorous whereas Hanna does not. "Accompanying hard liquor to warm up my rotting blood." Emily raises her bottle to her lips, clenching her jaw. "But as chemistry has it, these chemicals make a dangerous mix."
Ok, Ok. How is everything translating so far? Good? Bad? Like it? Don't want it?
YOUR OPINIONS ARE NEEDED. Honestly, I love reviews. It helps me gain a better understand of my audience.
Special shout out to TGHall, you are amazing! :)
Quick note about me. I am a Uni. student studying psychology. Out of all the different branches, abnormal psychology seems to really stick out to me. So, throughout this story, not only will you see things from the emotional perspective, you will also see and understand from the mental state and psychological effects as well.
Think you can handle the madness that's yet to come?
