This story is undergoing MAJOR EDITING.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, the video games, anime, merchandise, or any of the characters involved.

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rated: M (for coarse language, suggestive themes, and alcohol)

Main pairings: pokeshipping, rocketshipping, contestshipping

Minor pairings: wishfulshipping, handymanshipping, cavaliershipping and Ikarishipping

All characters have been aged appropriately.

A Sequel to Spitfire...

Equanimity, Chapter 1

Since the beginning of Ash's journey eight years ago, his life had been fairly simple: travel, train, battle.

He worked hard, he trained hard, and the rewards were always worth it. After his victory in the Kalos League, he was on his way to taking his first real step to becoming a pokemon master. For the first time since the start of his journey, he felt like his goal was finally within reach.

For once, he, Ash Ketchum, stood in the center of the victory circle. He signed his name and pokemon team among the long list of champions before him and he took his rightful place as a champion of the Kalos League.

Ash Ketchum, who was a nobody from Pallet Town, a five-time loser, turned league champion. Needless to say, he was an inspiration to all who watched him grow. An effigy of hope for new trainers, for anyone with a brutal rival, and for anyone who failed time and time again.

Like many of the pokemon he helped along his journey, he was the underdog who finally made it.

The victory was sweet and well deserved. Few people claimed that he did not deserve the title of champion, especially after he had to have a rematch with Alain to claim it. No one was more deserving. He saved the Kalos Region from Team Flare. He won fair and square. Ash earned it. Through blood and sweat, and probably a thousand tears, he earned his place among the table of champions.

When Ash was younger, he thought winning a league and becoming a champion was the one sure way to becoming a pokemon master. Up until a few weeks ago, he believed that this was his final task. Now that he was a champion, the title was soon to come. Yet, as he was learning, nothing in life was that simple. Becoming a champion did not make him a pokemon master.

At the age of eighteen, Ash still had a lot to learn about his life and dreams. He still had many trainers to defeat, places to go, but none of that was offered by the leagues he once participated in.

Ash finally stood as a champion, but it was a blessing and a curse. He was famous and people finally noticed him and took him seriously, but the title didn't come without sacrifices. Ash was late to late realize it, but he was in denial. His entire pokemon journey led up to this victory, and then it completed stalled without warning. Now more than ever, he was no closer to obtaining his dream, and he didn't have the foggiest of ideas how to reach it.

Winning the title of league champion was supposed to solve everything, but the path he followed was no longer straight and narrow. His simple life became a system of sharp turns with a hundred runoffs into every direction. Did he stay, did he go? If he stayed, what did that mean? If he left, where would he go? What came after this?

Life wasn't as simple as travel, train, battle.

As glorious as it was to sit upon the throne, his sheltered, simple world cracked, and the rest of the world flooded mercilessly around him.

Surely, these questions started with the victory, but that wasn't the full hammer swing that brought his simple life into a never-ending roller coaster of emotions, thoughts, and frustration. No... the moment that shattered his shelter and destroyed his walls was a kiss from his traveling companion, Serena.

His list grew longer that day: Travel, train, battle, think.

And he thought a lot about the incident after it occurred. He thought until his head hurt and his stomach twisted in knots. He thought until he was sleep-deprived and uncertain of his future. He thought, and he realized he hating thinking, but he couldn't stop. The flood gates were open, the barriers broken. He was drowning in the abyss. Thinking had never been his strongest skill, but when his victory, and kiss, and thoughts pushed him into a celebration party at Pallet Town, he was certain someone tied weights on his ankles.

Ash never realized how complicated and fragile his friend's emotions were... or how fragile his own could be. He went through many trials with the support of his former traveling companions; his friends. Each stood by his side for years, encouraging him to always do better, and when he had finally won, they were all there to support him. They supported him, even though he never supported them. Most of them, he hadn't seen in years.

In near tears back then, Ash added another word to his list: Travel, train, battle, think, connect.

Unfortunately, when life threw together a horde of hormonal teenagers, emotions were dynamite, and Ash was the match. He didn't mean to set off the explosive reaction that eventually led to a very short-lived relationship with Serena, and the complications his friends now suffered from it. The confusion he had from it. That kiss opened Ash's mind to many new experiences he intentionally avoided. He was not ready for a single one of them then. He wasn't ready for the changes now. Ash loved seeing his friends, but he wished it didn't have to change, or that they grew up. He was ready to leave, restart and pretend that nothing happened but then something small, and unexpected changed all of that.

Misty returned.

At first, it was like they were kids again, making jokes, bickering, and celebrating... but it didn't stay that way. Misty was confident, frustrating, and temperamental. He was collected, bashful, and spontaneous. When they weren't poking fun, they were opening old wounds and throwing in salt. Their reunion was painted in several colors of confusion that did nothing to settle Ash's stomach.

Then it happened.

...Ash never knew about her feelings before that celebration party. He didn't know about his own... well, that wasn't true. Hearing her confess haphazardly to May and Dawn jarred something long settled in his stomach, and his list grew once more.

Travel, train, battle, think, connect, love.

He fell in love with this hurricane of a woman who came back into his life like a storm in the middle of a heatwave to settle the flames. The feeling hadn't been new, hadn't even come as a surprise—not really anyways. Ash loved her for a long time, they were best friends, but he had forgotten how much that friendship meant.

Events clashed, and in the end, she stood at his side, as strong and unwavering as always. His best friend became his girlfriend.

...still, the roller coaster never stopped. If anything. It started going faster.

The fracture in his dome had only spider-webbed when the bubble he buried himself into burst, thus sending the simple-life trainer into a spiral of unknown territory. He wasn't on a roller coaster with weights on his feet at the center of the ocean. He was plummeted into the sun and expected to survive...

He called this: adulthood, or growing up. He added it to his list.

Ash Ketchum, the underdog, the champion, had a great deal of responsibility now. His victory wasn't only media reports and excitement. Since the league proclaimed him a hero and the 'greatest trainer' in the region, he was never short on tournaments to observe, meetings to attend, and new regulations to adhere to. The top trainer of the league, a league champion in training. Most of his obligations he barely understand, and now his personal life had taken him in a direction completely outside of battling.

He had a relationship and a job he had no idea about. Things were looking up, but he wasn't sure if he was going up or down anymore.

Misty was wonderful—at least he hoped. They had only been a 'couple' for a day before their respectful positions separated them. Before that, they hadn't really spoken in four years, while he loved her, he was awestruck to understand why. Misty, a gym leader of the Kanto region, and Ash, the champion of a league that was nearly 2,000 miles away, did not make a lot of sense. They did not have a lot of time together, and Ash would be lying if he said that did not terrify him. They still had a ton of stuff to talk about, issues to work through... didn't they? He wasn't sure, and he wasn't sure what was worse.

Ash had no idea what he was doing, or what was excepted of him for either new obligation. Champion? Stationary? Relationship? He was not only out of his comfort zone. It was obliterated. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't find safe haven. His bubble no longer existed. He was... something else completely unrecognizable, and it happened in less than three days.

These thoughts plagued him constantly.

These memories that he tried to make sense of kept him up at night even though he did not want them to. It was irrational to worry about events outside of his control, but he couldn't stop thinking of the near past, or the future.

With the dread of the ever-expanding universe looming, Ash stared out into the marina of Coumarine City and exhaled painfully. He scratched the side of his face as Pikachu hummed silently in his sleep beside him. He was waiting for Misty to arrive in Kalos for their scheduled date. It was the first time he was going to be seeing her since the celebration party, which was why the thoughts invaded every corner of his brain, reliving the last few weeks on repeat, trying to comprehend the changes.

"...Ah, what am I gonna do now?" Ash muttered, laying his head back to stare up at the ceiling of the pokemon center.

Now that the dust was settling, and Ash was finally staring this thing called 'growing up' directly in the face, he was only plagued by more questions, more problems, and more emotions.

Ash was a young adult, supporting himself in the ever-growing, ever-expanding world. When he was little he thought he would chase his dreams for the rest of his life by constantly pushing into a never-ending cycle of adventures. However, life wasn't so simple anymore, and it never would be again. There were no longer paths to follow, or guidelines to live by. He was plunged into eternal darkness, and while he was happy about winning, about his newfound courtship, about his friends, and training, something deep-rooted inside of his chest felt amiss. Maybe because he was afraid of failure? Maybe he was terrified of all the unknowns outside of his comfort zone? Those things never scared him before, Ash ran headfirst into every challenge, prepared to win, or prepared to lose. Fear was not in his vocabulary. But something was different.

Everything changed, and it all started with a kiss.

Author's Note: (2021-03-05)

As of this moment, in 2021, I do not care for this story. It is the biggest nothing I've ever written. It isn't that I dislike the themes, I simply don't like the style or the delivery. I don't like the switching POVs and some of the character arcs are frustratingly pointless. This story is the equivalent of a hamster wheel that keeps going without a purpose. I'm hoping to fix that. I don't want to leave this unfinished and I would like to make it something I actually enjoy. Originally, I started editing the chapters for continuity issues. Now I am full-on editing the chapters to add information that should have been in the chapters, to begin with. This may mean removing/adding information. If this is a story I intend to finish and keep on this website, I want it to be something I don't hate anymore. Read at your own risk.

Regular information from the first note:

This story was originally started before XYZ ended, so there are some continuity issues I'm going to rectify. PLEASE BARE WITH ME.

As my typical disclaimer—I write my stories for myself and if other people like them—AWESOME. So, while you may or may not agree with everything that I do, please respect me, and I'll respect you.

NINT