Connie had traveled up to Darwin in search of a missing patient but Jac was adamant that it was really for a gossip with her: one of their weekly girly chats and hair braiding sessions. Connie just rolled her eyes at this and continued looking for the vulnerable man. 10 minutes of fruitless searching later and she decided to give up and return to the ED. However she was intercepted by a porter with the news that Ms Tate wanted to see her. This led to her quick return to Darwin and the clinical lead's office. Anywhere to hide from the hideous amount of bureaucracy. Jac just seemed to find this amusing probably because the CEO was currently avoiding her due to the whole Fletch shebangle. Another 10 minutes and they were deep in gossip over the disastrous love triangle and comparing to yet another mishap – the Jac/Joseph/Faye thing although that was more of a square due to Linden. 8 years on and neither could still get their heads around it. They agreed profoundly that it was good that the Byrnes had finally cut all ties and left even if it meant losing a good surgeon despite his issues. Regaling in past memories though gave the cardiothoracic consultant the perfect way to bring Sam up. This was when Connie began regretting the whole idea.
"How's Sam these days? He was medical director one second, your registrar the next, resigned not much later, thought he'd apply to Darwin or St. James' but he was gone, almost overnight."
"Exactly," she paused trying to hide the hurt. "He was here one second and had disappeared with our daughter to the bloody States without even saying goodbye the next. I didn't even get to say bye to Grace, just a call saying how much she loved 'home'. She didn't want to be here and she didn't want me. I guess that all proved that." She paused her rant to catch her breath and to stop herself from crying. "I don't know anything more than that. I was supposed to fly out to Aspen to spend Christmas with them but I guess that you know how that went. Both of us bunged up in hospital wards. At least you had him even if it wasn't who you truly wanted there."
"I didn't- I don't- It's hard but he's moved on." Jac replied. "Last I heard he had a marvelous new wife and probably more kids and a dog too. Surely you got that invite." Glad for the topic to be off her, Connie decided to push harder.
"Was that what he offered you when you left? Do you wish that you had taken it?" She spoke dejectedly though as she realized that her friend had at least been given the option. Sam had never wanted her, not really. However much she tried to convince herself that she didn't care, that was what it kept coming back to and man it hurt like hell. Realising that Jac hadn't answered her questions (even if they were semi-rhetorical), she spoke further. "You wouldn't have Emma if you'd gone and the life of a GP or a GP's wife that isn't you. You have a passion and a sheer talent for this and he couldn't have expected you to give up on your hard-fought dreams just to fulfill the role that had been ingrained into his head. He could do whatever he wants just down to his family's money alone but you, you've had to fight every step for this so don't you ever regret it. Yeah everything seems like crap but it would've all fallen apart had it not been what you really wanted and that's speaking from experience. I went into my marriage with Michael feeling like I had everything that I'd ever want but we yearned for different things and it made a mess of everything. Don't get me wrong, I did love him but it was never going to last forever and you would've I daresay been in a very similar boat. But don't let that hold you back. You know who you are and what you want now. You would know what it was worth and what you'd be missing. Hopefully that would make it more secure." She trailed off as she contemplated her own array of messy relationships in regret. "Sam said that we would do this together after the crash. Look after Grace, be a proper family, give us a second chance and all was talk. All it was was a romp in a store cupboard and let's leg it now that she actually might want this. Let's leave her all alone as pathetic and as rubbish a mother as ever. Your life could be so much worse. As a matter of fact, I'd say that you've been incredibly lucky but that's what happens some are some aren't." She had Jac's attention fully on her now but she didn't dare look up and see the inevitable look of pity in her eyes. She was still struggling to come to terms with it herself.
"So I guess he's like the road runner then," Jac suggested with a smirk on her face. This granted a slight laugh from Connie's lips."We're both well and truly fucked up then, aren't we? Shit at relationships and barely surviving parenthood. At least we know what to do if someone charges at us and we only have a scalpel."
"Why ever would that happen?
"Have you seen this place? We must have the highest rates for murder and assault."
"So basically we must go around with scalpels in our pockets or hands hoping that someone attacks us before we kill ourselves or get called up to Tate's office for psych evaluations. Great."
"Cut the sarcasm, Con. We need to keep our supplies up for the incoming F1s."
"You're not going to sleep with any from this lot are you?"
"That was just once and it was Valentine so it doesn't count"
"Oh, it definitely counted towards his recommendation of character, biased I'd say!" She ducked to avoid the incoming paperweight. By now both were chuckling away. The laughter was only cut through with bursts of sarcastic jibes and reminiscing at past colleagues. This was how they lasted for another half an hour before the CEO finally deemed it necessary to check on Darwin.
