UPDATE(2/27/14 2 11:30p.m.) :I fixed all the errors in this chapter that I found, as well as in the summary! Also I plan on putting up the next two chapters in a day or two! The next chapter will be Klaroline! Also, I plan on following the TV show and keeping things close to the main plot, just to keep this as an almost background actions that everything will turn out fine for our favorite couples, and keep our hope alive!
ALSO If you only want to read DE side of things, stick to the odd chapters! It KC is your thing, then stick to even! Combo chapters Will be labeled with DE&KC. But I promise both will be worth it!
I own nothing, sadly. All credit to Julie Plec and others.
Let my thoughts wander . . .
But not too far. I'm all ready lost and I'm afraid it will be for good. I'm so … I don't know… I just feel… disembodied would be the technical term I suppose, but it's different than that. More intense. With my thoughts finally to myself I know exactly who I am even though I am lost, I have found.. me. I don't know where I am but I know where I want to be. With him. I miss him more than I miss being me. He is the ache in my chest that drives me up the wall. Without him… I really am lost. Because he is the main reason why I have finally found myself because when I am with him, I know who I am, and who I am meant to be.
I love him…
Damon…
*T *V *D
"Damon!" Elena cries as she emerges from the trees. Her mind is racing, so many things to tell him, but they won't come out now, because suddenly the only thing she can think about is him. Her body collides with his and she hugs him just as he hugs her. Then relief courses through both of them, making her feel safe and at home. Finally. Because he is her safety. They will always survive.
"Damon, thank God!" she sighs, she has missed him more than she could have imagined. The nect thing on her tongue was how much she loved him, and that there wasn't time, that Katherine was still inside her, she needed him to save her. To tell him all of this before...but just then she ran out of time, and she felt herself slip. Suddenly she wasn't in his arms anymore.
She was just… nowhere…
*T *V *D
"You are literally the best person I've ever known. And for me to think I could change you gives me way too much credit and you not nearly enough. You're the best influence on me. I need you. You're the good and I need a little good in my life because without it there's an awful lot of darkness..."
But Elena wasn't there to take in those words, even though her heart yearned to hear them. Yearned for him. But Elena wasn't there, she was gone and lost. She wasn't there to save him from the heartbreak that ensued Katherine's reply to him. As if she didn't hate Katherine enough already.
*T *V *D
Darkness… Let it take over me, hell if I care, should be fun. He thought as he downed another shot. Dropping his head back down his eyes caught on the tender pulse beating in the bartenders neck, and his mouth watered. The lust of the kill, of wanting to kill her right now, in front of anyone and to hell with whoever saw. He would simply compel them… or snap their neck. Either would be fine. Fuck repercussions, he thought, I don't give a shit, I'm an immortal God to these mortal, human blood bags.
Enzo was already in back draining a brunette with a short skirt and a low top, Even though Damon had wanted to rip her throat out and watch the blood flow, he couldn't bring himself to do it. The guilt he felt was consuming him. Despite the darkness that was creeping back into his soul, the light was still there. As if she was still there… guiding him. Even though she had broken things off, flat out rejected his apology and plea of how much he needed her. He really needed her.
He tried not to…
But he loved her, with everything he had and everything he was. Damon was utterly lost without her, lost to the blackness. He knew, despite his determination for the opposite, that if she would have him back he would always go. Even in 50, 100, or 1000 years… it didn't matter to him how long he waited, it was just the longer he waited the harder his exterior would become and it would be nearly impossible for her to find the man she was once in love with again. He was just too broken to keep whole forever. Anyway he would probably get himself killed before then anyone, with his reckless behavior Damon loved so much. Life was just too boring to sit and wait for time to pass, he had to spice things up a little bit… and getting into trouble was just an entertaining way to pass the time.
But he might go too far, which scared him far less than it should have.
Damon Salvatore was losing the battle. What was left of the light Elena had brought into his life versus his own dark intentions.
During his interior monologue the bartender had swiftly refilled his glass with another shot, he didn't know or care what type of alcohol was in the glass as he raised the glass to his lips, and tipped back his head feeling the comforting burn of alcohol trickle down his throat. Damon chuckled darkly to himself as he bitterly thought upon how happy he had been this summer. Now that happiness was a lie, and he would drown it in his past by blindly drinking alcohol and draining a pretty little girl dry. This vicious cycle would continue until Damon Salvatore could no longer remember who he really was, and what it felt like to be the person he was when he is with her.
The venomousity that coursed through him surprised him at first but, then he rode the wave of feelings, trying to develop that anger he needed to move on and complete his to do list. How dare she, Am I not good enough for her? That dumb little bitch, turns out I'm too good for her! Damon thought, it was a lie he knew, but he let it happen. He growled which sent a violent vibration which radiated through his body and crushed the shot glass that had been clenched in his fist as if it was merely a crumpled ball of paper.
Frustration seeped out of his pores as a slow, deep breath and he was able to unclench his torn and bleeding fist. He grumbled at the inconvenience and pulled out the obstructing pieces of glasses, flinging them aimlessly back to the counter. His fist stung only for a few more moments until he watched with smug satisfaction as his hand stitched itself back into perfect condition. Surprisingly no one had noticed the scene, or heard the glass shatter over the sound of the loud rock music. Damon sighed and rubbed his aching temples and felt his emotion swing again. She would have noticed.
In the end, Damon wasn't hopeful he could ever forget her. He needed her. Elena. His Elena.
No not his. She didn't want him, he wasn't the hero of her story and he had known it all along, but because he is so hopelessly in love with her, he let her get close, and she had crawled right up inside his chest into his heart, where she was nestled safely…
And the sad thing was… Damon would let her do it again, and again because Elena loving him was always worth it, even though he would always question it… just having her in his arms… Why should she want me anyway?!
Damon imagined then together, and his heart felt as if splinters had begun to grow. The raw pain of remembering how it had been to just, kiss her… let alone be with her. He was so lost…
Suddenly a bottle red-head sits down next to him and orders a scotch on the rocks. Damon purposefully tears himself from his thoughts as he is reminded of his to-do list. He turns to her and gives her his signature smile and glinting eyes, finally forcing the other thoughts to the back of his mind.
"Rough night?" Damon asks her, settling back a little more comfortably on the uncomfortable bar stool.
"Like you wouldn't believe." Red says, without looking at him.
"Two more shots!" Damon calls to the bartender , and red turns to look at him to which he delivers a sly wink.
"Thanks, hot shot." Red says as she rakes her eyes over him appreciatively. "Mmm… not bad." She hums with approval, giving him a smirk of her own. Damon winks at her again, and she giggles. Too easy, as always. Damon thinks cockily, as he smirks inwardly. Their shots arrive and they both tip them back, then she looks and laughs a confident, tinkling laugh as she scrunches her face at the strong taste.
"That biting, bitter feeling." She mumbles and shakes her head, a light smile on her lips. "I have a feeling I'll be drunk in no time with you sitting next to me. You didn't even flinch." Red quips and winks back at him. Damon smiles and pulls the power of compulsion into his voice as he connects with her eyes.
"You know, I think you're drunk enough to come out back with me, and go a little crazy." Damon says in a sultry voice, but then his smile drops, as her focus regains, and she looks at him, ready to rip his clothes off. Red leans in and brushes her lips along his cheekbone to his ear where she whispers,
"Why don't we go out back, and see if you're as good as you look." She pulls back and smiles a dirty, flirty smile. Damon nods in approval, drops his payment for their drinks on the counter, then grabs her by the hand and leads her around the back corner and out a side door into a dark alley. Damon takes note of Enzo over in a dark corner finishing his second lady of the night and throwing her on top of the other. He chuckles darkly at the gore and turns back to the woman compelling her once more.
"Don't scream, don't run, don't struggle, and don't do anything stupid." He grunts at her and pushes her up against the wall, as his smile completely drops. Damon was completely tired of the dumb game of leading her on, and finally lets out his inner demon. Revelling in the feeling of his fangs protruding from his gums, and the veins pulsing near his eyes, as he dives into her neck with a ferocious bite, shoving the guit down with the sweet life preserving blood. Poor Red doesn't utter another noise as he drains the life out of her.
"Aww yeah! That's the Damon I know!" Enzo hoots encouragement and cat calls through his thick accent. Damon ignores him as he listens to her heart beat slow, and then stop completely. But he feels not satisfaction as he pulls the last few drops from her, then lets her drop to the ground. Nothing, no feeling. Emotions off. But not just what was left of his humanity… everything. Damon feels like a dead end, yet he continues to wander on into the dark. Soon enough he wouldn't be able it find his way out, not even with his light in the darkness. He can almost picture her, a lighthouse showering him with it's pure light, that's his Elena. No, not his. He reminds himself sternly.
Anger courses through him again, and he strikes the brick wall in front of him, connecting it with his fist which promptly breaks upon impact. He grimaces at the pain as hold the wrist of his damaged hand gingerly,he rather feel that then the unnerving feeling of his inability to control his raging emotions and thoughts like a teenage girl in the height of puberty. And yet… he feels nothing, unless he thinks about her, even though he wishes it would be the exact opposite! The bones in his hand snap sufficiently back into place with a distinct pop. With nothing in mind but to get away from himself, he drops his hands into fists at his sides and walks out of the alley and into the night, ignoring Enzo call of confusion. Damon assumes he wouldn't attempt to follow him until later, so he keeps walking, and walking… and feeling nothing.
Review please! It will keep me writing. Also, please let me know if you found any grammar, spelling errors, or misprints so I can go back and fix them. THANKS! 3
