Chapter 4: Ipso Fatso (edited)

Harem list

Canon: Kaguya, Hinata (canon), Naruko, Menma, Satsuki, Hina, Izumi (canon), Haku (female), Karin (canon), Kushina (canon), Mito (canon), Konan (canon), Ino (canon), Yodo (canon), Mei Terumi (canon), Kurotsuchi (canon), Mikoto (canon), Mebuki (canon), Tsume (canon), Hana (canon), Karura (canon),Shizune (canon), Yakumo (canon), Kin (canon), Tayuya (canon), Anko (canon), Kurenai (canon), Mirai (canon), Orika (fem!Orochimaru), Himawari (canon), Sarada (canon), Isaribi (canon), Hanabi (canon), Moegi (canon), Ayame (canon), Samui (canon), Yugito (canon), Fuu (canon), Ryuzetsu (canon), Shizuka (canon), Pakura (canon), Sasame (canon), Koyuki (canon), Shion (canon), Amaru (canon), Delta (canon) and Ada (canon).

Inuyasha: Sango

Familiar of Zero: Kirche (Tsunade and Dan's daughter)

Nintendo: Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Rosalina, Bowsette, Cia, Lana, Marina, Lucina, Camilla, Aversa, Tharja, Wii Fit Trainer (female), Palutena, Amazon Pandora and Samus Aran.

Rosario + Vampire: Moka (both), Kurumu, Ageha, Mizore and Ririko.

Xenoblade: Pyra and Mythra.

Street Fighter: Chun-Li and Cammy.

King of Fighters: Cutie Terry, Mai and Angel.

Darkstalkers: Morrigan and Felicia.

Skullgirls: Filia and Eliza.

DC comics: Kara Zor-El (Supergirl/Powergirl), Lena Luthor, Barbara Gordon (Batgirl), Diana (Wonder Woman), Selina (Catwoman), Starfire, Blackfire, Dinah (Black Canary), Claire (Volcana) and (Harleen) Harley Quinn.

Marvel: Jennifer (She-Hulk), Natasha (Black Widow), Emma Frost, Felicia Hardy (Black Cat) and Amora (Enchantress).

DBZ: Vados, Marcarita, Kusu, Heles, Fasha, Gine, Caulifla, Kale, Kefla (clone), Cocotte and Launch (twins).

Pokémon: Delia, Johanna, Grace, Leaf, Gari Oak (female Gary), Misty, Giselle, May, Dawn, Zoey, Paula (female Paul), Iris, Hilda, Rosa, Bianca (BW2), Georgia, Serena, Shauna, Miette, Lillie, Lana, Mallow, Gloria, Jessie, Cassidy, Ariana, Domino, Annie, Oakley, Sierra, Courtney (ORAS), Shelly (ORAS), Mars, Jupiter, Hunter J, Nurse Joy (multiple), Officer Jenny (multiple), Hex Maniac Tammy, Dancer Tricia, Professor Ivy, Professor Juniper, Professor Fennel, Wicke, Sonia, Cynthia, Diantha, Sabrina, Erika, Whitney, Jasmine, Clair, Roxanne, Flannery, Winona, Gardenia, Candice, Roxie, Elesa, Skyla, Roxie, Alexa, Viola, Korrina, Valerie, Acerola, Olivia, Kahili, Nessa, Bea, Melony, Klara, Marnie, Lorelei, Karen, Phoebe, Shauntal, Malva, Dahlia, Argenta, Cheryl, Aria, Lisia, Zinnia, Ryoko (Mewtwo), Princess (Mew), Astolfo (Gardevoir), BunBun (Lopunny), Melody (Meloetta) and Penelope (Pheromosa).

Digimon: Mimi Tachiwaka, Rika Nonoka, Angewomon, Ranamon (as well as a digi partner and her evolutions are the same person) and BelleStarmon.

Bleach: Rika Nakamaru, Rangiku, Yoruichi, Soifon, Kukaku, Tier Harribel, Emilou Apacci, Mila Rose, Cyan Sung-Sun, Bambietta and Retsu Unohana.

Soul Eater: Blair

Seven Deadly Sins: Merlin and Diane.

One Piece: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock and Shirahoshi.

Fairy Tail: Lucy Heartfilia, Mirajane Strauss, Irene Belserion, Erza Scarlet, Juvia Lockser, Wendy (Edolas), Aries, Virgo, Minerva Orland, Ultear and Cana.

Highschool DxD: Rias Gremory, Asia Argento, Rossweisse, Serafall, Ophis, Xenovia, Ravel Phoenix, Raynare, Mittelt, Akeno Himejima, Kuroko and Yasaka.

Highschool of the Dead: Rei Miyamoto, Saeko Busujima, Saya Takagi and Shizuka Marikawa.

Yu-Gi-Oh!: Mai Valentine, Dark Magician Girl, Alexis Rhodes, Akiza Izinski, Carly Camine, Misty Tredwell and Emme Bessho.

Avatar: Toph, Ty Lee, Mai, Azula (human), June, Korra and Asami.

Fate Grand Order: Artoria Pendragon, Artoria Alter, Nero Claudius, Minamoto no Raikou, Gilgamesh (female), Jeanne, Jeanne Alter, Okita Souji, Okita Souji alter, Florence, Shuten Dōji and Tamamo-no-mae.

Attack on Titan: Mikasa Ackerman, Sasha Blouse and Annie Leonhart.

RWBY: Ruby, Yang, Blake, Weiss, Neopolitan, Coco Adel and Salem.

Akame ga Kill!: Akame, Kurone, Chelsea, Esdeath, Mine, Leone, Sheele and Seryu.

Hero Academia: Momo, Mina, Tsuyu, Itsuka, Mei Hatsume, Nejire, Rumi, Mt. Lady, Midnight and Himiko Toga.

One Punch Man: Tatsumaki and Fubuki.

Monster Musume: Miia, Centorea, Rachnera, Zombina, Doppel, Tionishia, Draco, Lilith, Kii, Miia's mother, Centorea's mother, Octo and Cathyl.

League of Legends: Ahri, Evelynn, Akali, Kai'Sa, Irelia, Ashe, Katarina and Qiyana.

Queen's Blade: Cattleya, Melona and Leina (Unlimited).

Demon Slayer: Mitsuri, Shinobu Kocho and Susamaru.

Yo-kai Watch: Camellia, Smogmella, Agent Spect-hare, Snow Spect-hare, Blizzaria, Damona, Insomni, Sandi, Mermadonna, Mermother, Unkaind, Pandora and Meopatra.

Doki Literature Club: Monika, Yuri, Sayori and Natsuki.

Shinto Gods: Amaterasu (female), Izanami, Shinigami (female who is Hela), Yami (female) and Kami (female).

The testament of sister new devil: Mio, Maria, Lucia, Chisato, Raphaelina, Sapphire, Yuki, Kirisaki, Kurumi and Celis.

To Love Ru: Riko (female Rito), Mika, Lala, Nana, Momo, Run, Risa, Eve, Mea, Nemesis, Azenda, Mikado and Tearju.

Konosuba: Megunium, Aqua, Darkness, Eris and Sylvia (full female).

Food Wars: Ikumi, Erina, Alice, Megumi and Rindo.

Others: Bayonetta, Jeanne, Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit), Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII), Lust (Full metal Alchemist), Lucoa (Dragon Maid), Desiree (Danny Phantom), Spectra (Danny Phantom), Hekapoo (Star Forces of Evil), Lum (Urisei Yatsura), Ran (Urisei Yatsura), Ivy Valentine (Soul Calibur), Dimitrescu (Resident Evil 8), Hachishaku-sama, Goddess Ilias (Monster Girl Quest), Duna (Fossil Fighters), Hagoromo Gitsune known as Yamabuki (Nurarihyon no Mago), Hitomi Uzaki (Killing Bites), Meiko (Prison School), Astaroth (Shinra Bansho), Asmodeus (Shinra Bansho) and Chifusa Manyuu (Manyū Hiken-chō).


Naruto looked at the flying squirrel at the sky. Judging by the mask, it means that it was a type of superhero.

One of Naruto's hobbies is reading manga and comics to pass time.

"OK Kaguya before we start the harvest I need you to mark that flying squirrel to be your vessel." Naruto said as she nodded as she started to float towards the squirrel. Naruto hold her down to avoid suspicion.

"We need a plan. We may be prideful and powerful but sometimes we have to hide our abilities to not attract attention." Naruto said.


(Inside Naruto)

As the dark being now, called Naruko is in her normal Otsusuki state delighted that Naruto is acting more like she wanted to as she was using her stress toys that looked like Orochimaru and Hiruzen as she strangles said toys. She has a list of people she despises with a passion that includes Black Zetsu, Obito (even if Naruto forgave him), Itachi (but not obsessed like Sasuke and for being a retard), Minato (for taking half of Kurama into the Shinigami and not being there for us and saved their mother Kushina), Hiruzen (for letting Danzo and Orochimaru lived and becoming weak), Fugaku (for trying to start the coup and making Mikoto involved against her will), Hashirama and Madara (for using the Tailed Beasts), Jiraiya (for not properly teach us and using that excuse of prophecy for his own gain), Orochimaru (for being a sick twisted pedophile) and Kabuto (bastard grave desecrator). Even if some will not have the same personality but the mental scars stays with her. It made her the being she is and realized that they will never become puppets nor slaves for no one but unlike Sasuke she turns her anger and hatred into resolve and subconsciously teaches Naruto, what he actually truly needs as they are above humanity now.

"I don't know which God I have to thank for this new chance of life but when I meet it I will hug them. Don't worry my King you will have your memories about after the war while I have all of it eventually for your own good." She said as Arceus heard her proclamation and eye smiled in his sleep as she fell asleep with strangling the toys.


(Meanwhile with Azula)

Since she usually starts, the harvest quick but she found that taking her time is good to reflect. Ever since she was a seedling and was a gift for Naruto when he was born. She always had the feeling that she has met him before. At first, she growled at him but he giggled and hugged her she felt paralyzed at the gesture. However, was the most surprising thing was the first word he uttered?

"Azula." Baby Naruto said to the Ten Tails that he named. His parents just laughed and congratulated him for saying his first word but to Azula who stood there not moving at all. She felt thing that no one Ten Tails has ever felt in their lives: emotions. From that day, she swore to always be one Naruto's side in good and the bad.


(Meanwhile with Naruto)

"OK Kaguya you go into that building while I start a fire for you to yell for help. When he swoops in you mark him at the back so he won't notice it." Naruto said as she nodded.

As Naruto starts to start a fire at the building, he sees he purple deer with white makeup dressed as a mime with purple and white stripes. This character was called Mime who gasped with no sound at all at the scene but Naruto quickly killed him with All Ash Killing Bones.


(Inside Naruto)

"That was surprisingly quick for a first on screen kill." Naruko said dressed like Naruto when he was Hokage (the inverted colors looks great) with her black in twin tails and ANBU boots as a way of taunting the position.

"Oh how I miss Sarada she was like Mikoto." Naruko said since Naruto practically raised Sarada along with Boruto and Himawari she always cried when she sees her since she was like Mikoto even if Sarada awoke her Sharingan. She was the only good thing that came from Sasuke and Sakura. She considers Sarada as her daughter.

To everyone they considered Naruto's pranks as childish but to Naruko were ninja methods at its finest. She had to made Naruto act as the fool so that no one can know the ulterior motives like Naruto poisoning Mizuki and Itachi (Sarada forgave her for that).


(Flashback)

Sarada was alone most of the time in her home since Sakura works at the hospital and Sasuke protecting the village from afar as always when she heard a knock on her door and looked at two Naruto shadow clones but their eyes were different since one had black with red pupils and the other had red slits.

"Lord Seventh?" She asked them.

"Not close it's us Kurama and Naruko." Naruko said as they entered.

"Naruko?" Sarada asked her.

"I'm Naruto's darkness." She answered as Kurama looked at the house in silent while looking angrily at a picture of the family with only one of them together.

"Why couldn't Sasuke be a girl?" Kurama thought.

"You remind me of your grandmother Mikoto who would have been my godmother." Naruko said which surprised Sarada.

"She was the only Uchiha aside from you that I would have accepted even if she was Madara's grandaughter. She was a Jonin shinobi even without those cursed Mangekyou eyes corrupting her very being as she remained firm to her beliefs." Kurama said and she knows since she can sense negative emotions and the only thing she sense from her was regret when Naruto was at the hospital as a baby who she desperately wanted to adopt him but Hiruzen denied her every single time because he thinks that it causes imbalance.

But Naruto was smarter than them since a true shinobi's skill is deception since he has met Naruko and Kurama way before but thought that they were imaginary until they told him his real origins and their own. Even if Naruto was using Kurama's chakra he always felt wrong in using it. He even stole the original Forbidden Scroll before Mizuki told him since Naruto already knew that Mizuki was working for Orochimaru thanks to his born sensory ability plus Kurama's help that Mizuki smells like snakes and the hatred towards him that it was obvious and left a copy for when they write on it the jutsus will also be written in the originalone as well. So he created a blood clone to impersonate Naruto at the academy while he trained at the Forest of Death since no civilians, Genin or Chunnin would physically abuse when Hiruzen wasn't using his crystal ball or Sakura or mentally abuse him directly or indirectly. Thought he always hid his potential so they won't force breed him without his consent. He hides his emotions better than retard Itachi Uchiha.

She always had Naruto unknowingly make blank Shadow Clones for her and Kurama (who uses her real female voice) to possess and teach Sarada on her free time they teach her everything they know from techniques like the Chidori, Rasengan, Sage Arts of the Toads (since Six Paths Chakra can poison a mortal or a half breed) even the origins of the Otsusuki Clan on Earth and the downfall of the Uchiha clan. Good thing that Naruto was Hokage so I could have shown all the files to Sarada.

She has told Sarada stories about Naruto's childhood. She laughed a lot amazed that Naruto has met different girls, saving Hinata, Tsunade, Koyuki and Shion who latter both wanted a baby to continue their legacy.

"Between us I took Naruto's first." Naruko said as Sarada had a raging nosebleed and cum herself that somehow Sakura and Sasuke felt that Naruto is corrupting their daughter, Hinata, Hanabi and Hiashi unknowingly activated their Byakugan and Naruto felt Killing Intent directly pointed at him. Various women from around the Nations (like Tsunade, Mei, Yodo, Koyuki, Shion, Amaru, Sasame and Moegi), Pure Lands (Mikoto, Kushina, Kin Tsuchi, Ryuzetsu, Tayuya and Konan) and a female Kage (Kurotsuchi) felt that that Naruto did something wrong.

She blushed at that since she has a crush on Naruto but if they heard that they will ostracize her more despite that her father was a nuke-nin but that was Sasuke's own fault and the village to not have him adopted and giving him mental help (even Ino could have practice her clan techniques on Sasuke if she had common sense).

Saved Gaara from losing himself to an isolated Shukaku and an unstable seal made by Chiyo during the Chunnin Exams. Saving everyone from Kaguya and Black Zetsu.

"How did he not get promoted to Jonin?" Sarada asked since all the things that Naruto has done he should have been Jonin already.

"Because of me Sarada, since Jinchuuriki were always hated for thinking that the jailer is us without knowing that by hating them makes them unstable since we are Chakra Constructs meaning that we only die if we are sealed and people always want to control the uncontrollable like your retarded ancestor Madara Uchiha. That bastard cheating death three times just to prove a point to Hashirama who hunted my brethren as trophies and sold his own family to promote peace without knowing that they would use us as weapons of massive destruction. I mean why do they hate the container if they wanted us as weapons. Controlled me with his Sharingan then being sealed in Mito saying that love is needed to control me, which was also a subtle way for her to control me that she gained my Negative Emotions Sensing. I know that I nearly killed Naruto but I yearned for freedom at the first chance until Obito controlled me thus creating more stigma to the Uchiha Clan that they started to plan a coup d'etat to overthrow Hiruzen but your idiot uncle Itachi listened to Danzo and make him kill the children and Mikoto, the only Uchiha before you that I actually liked as a friend and as family." Kurama said by accident releasing Killer Intent but Sarada only flinched a little as she got the hang of it.

At first, she was pissed tremendously that they would do that instead of leaving the village but in that era if Kumo took them they would have been breeding stock or caused Civil War in the Konoha that would have lead another Shinobi War.

"They never wanted the container to be overpowered because they fear him that if Naruto knew the truth he would go ballistic and destroy the village which is justified unlike Sasuke who would do it blindly." Naruko said.

"Excuse for the language but how the hell did he managed that at a young age not having friends or knowing if his parents loved him remained in one piece!? That's practically like awakening a three tomoed Sharingan in both eyes in one go and then suicide." Sarada shouted and cried.

"Because if he killed himself like he has done multiple times before then Nonoa would have consumed him and me in her container even I the most powerful of the Tailed Beasts and the largest container of the Ten Tails and Kaguya's Chakra would have destroyed the container and it takes me nine years for me to reappear plus he had no one to trust him not even Hinata." Kurama explained to Sarada.

"Don't blame Naruto it was the village's fault thought if he took his studies seriously he would have been powerful early on but the people deliberately trashed his studies. Ever since Danzo leaked the information of our status but not of us being the Fourth Hokage Minato Namikaze or actually named Minato Uchiha's child, just to have his perfect attack fox. He tooked Shisui's right eye to use Kotoamatsukami mixed with Hashirama's cells to use the most subtle Genjustu known for himself once a day instead of a decade. But your papa did avenged our clans the Uchiha, Senju and Uzumaki without even knowing it by killing Danzo. The guy even sealed Naruto's Wood Style!" Naruko said.

"Wait a minute Lord Seventh's father was an Uchiha and Lord Seventh has Wood Style!? How come he never showed it!?" Sarada asked and she nodded.

"I didn't know that since his father never awoke his Sharingan like Mikoto but the man improved Tobirama's Flying God Technique with Fuinjutsu which won us against Iwa. I knew he had Wood Style but no other Uzumaki Seal Master was available and Naturo never had no one to teach him in his youth." Kurama said still sensing her surroundings.

"Because I suppressed only the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and the Tomoed Rinnegan because if people knew they would hate him more just for being part Uchiha." Naruko said in shame.

"You did the right thing Naruko-sensei." Sarada said understanding the purpose.

"So my dreams of being the first Uchiha Hokage are a waste of time." Sarada said sadly, as Kurama patted her back.

"What I mean in that you don't need to be a Hokage to be powerful. What matters is having people to accept you for yourself. In fact, it makes you weak if you become Hokage Sarada. If you don't kill to protect your loved ones no one will take you seriously. You know how many times Naruto has killed? Only once! Sasuke lacked the resolve and took the teaching of a certain pedophile who gave him a hickey with steroids towards the dark path. That's the difference between Naruto and Sasuke which was as clear as day. You can be a prodigy but never get it in over your head." Kurama said wisely, as it cheered Sarada up as she hugged Kurama (who was surprised) who hugged back and so did Naruko.

"When push comes to shove with hard work and having Kaguya's DNA you even have the capacity to use the Adamantine Sealing Chains with different elemental natures which requires a lot of chakra to make them not even Mito Uzumaki, Kushina or Naruto have ever done it." Kurama said as Sarada smiled.

To be honest she's way smarter than the so called prodigy Itachi even Kurama admitted it. However, they manage to take some DNA samples of Kaguya during the war for her to have the Mangekyou Sharingan. Thought Naruko learned the trick that Itachi did to Sasuke's Sharingan to not arouse suspicion. Surprisingly, Sarada survived the experiment by sheer will, obtained the Tomoed Rinnegan on both eyes, can turn it off at will, manage to make a perfect Susanoo armor that looked like a pink-purple seraphim, and can even fool Chakra Paper since she learned to use the eight natures using Shadow Clones. She's good damn actor since no one ever suspected it not even Naruto nor Mitsuki.

If Naruto listened to his darkness, he would have befriended Kurama in his childhood. Thought she needed Sasuke and Orochimaru to do the dirty work for her to release Minato from the Shinigami along with the other assholes of Hokages.

She spoke with the Shinigami (who is actually Nanao Ise since the one shown in the manga is just a container) by using the only mask left from the former Uzumaki shrine (she destroyed the other masks they will never be used again but created fake ones to fool everyone) and she told her that the contract was null and void since Minato left a bit of his and Kushina's Chakra in Naruto's seal but she told it that she has two idiots that will do the job. She told her that Minato never interacted with Yin Kurama, which Naruko rolled her eyes as typical since her "dad" wanted Naruto to take Kurama's power against her will.

She asked if Kurama wanted her Yin Half back now but Yang Kurama said it was not the right time since she wants to test Naruto to prove if he was the child of Prophecy.


(Meanwhile outside with Kaguya)

"Help! Help me! Some one save me!" Kaguya shouted with emotions for someone to "save" her.

Splendid sighs as he was doing shopping that Kaguya's screams were heard as he did his hum and rescued her and hugged him while marking him in the back. He lands safely on the ground as he bows and leaves as she waves him goodbye.

"Heh. Heh. Sucker." Kaguya thought as she explored the place as she saw a marmot incased in ice and a red porcupine with flakes on it at the bus stop.

Kaguya nervously waves back at the porcupine.

"Hello." Kaguya said as she saluted the porcupine.

"Hi. Eh he he. My name is Flaky and this is Cro-Marmot." The porcupine said and she pointed at the marmot.

Flaky is a porcupine that has pantophobia (fear of everything), lacked eyelashes and wears no clothing.

The Happy Tree Friends are "cute" anthropomorphic animals that looked nice but the majority of them have some type of disability or mental disorders like Flaky.

She could have used the Infinite Tsukuyomi to absorb their energy but something told her that it won't effect them.

Suddenly to long hands slapped both Flaky who thought it was Cro-Marmot and Kaguya herself.

"Who did that!?" She shouted as she saw a bear flying above them when the electric cable decapitated the bear and a blind mole weight the head.

There was blood behind them as both Flaky and Kaguya looked at the corpse of a moose without its arms.

"Lumpy!" Flaky yelled in concern.

"He's dead and you sound like is a normal recurrence." Kaguya said plainly, as Flaky glances around as Kaguya leaves to be eaten by Azula.


(Meanwhile with Naruto)

As he was exploring and dodging obliviously falling object from a psychotic bear in soldier clothing who had yellow eyes when he saw Naruto killing to raccons that were going to steal from him.

"How dare steal from a royal God now die you peasants!?" He said as he killed the twins with trees that he created from the ground as they pierced the twins as their intestines looked like Christmas decoration when a light green bear was walking and saw the killing he flipped and started to pounce of Naruto until he created boiling water from the air targeting the bear who got cooked.

"Sweet I never tasted bear meat before." Naruto said sadistically with blood on his body.


(Inside Naruto)

Naruko smiled at the killings.

"Three kills in less than two minutes." Naruko said as she felt pride on Naruto.


(Outside)

As both finished and got bored Kaguya decided to sacrifice herself to Azula as she already dug the hole to start. Azula opened her mouth as Kaguya entered peacefully as Azula chewed Kaguya as she burrows into the planet to absorb the living energy on everything.


(With Splendid)

He felt somehow sick quickly as he began to scream as bunny ears appeared on his head, gain the Rinne-Sharingan and Tenseigan eyes and turned palely white. Thus, Kaguya was resurrected.

"That was way quick for a resurrection." She said as she looked for Naruto.


The planet was devoid of all life, which was a new record for Naruto.

Azula finished and transformed back after she created an Energy fruit for the duo as they shared it.

They leave the planet, which somehow gained life again without them knowing.


A.N.

This concludes Naruto and Kaguya's first harvest. This was similar to Naruto first mission to Wave Country that was a C-ran into an A-rank due to missing nins and Zabuza and Haku.

This was the planet from Happy Tree Friends.

You got to see more of Dark Naruto actually Naruko and a flashback that involves her, Kurama (who is a girl) and Sarada.

I still the poll for Menma's summoning you can vote only two summons.

This is my longest chapter so far, ironically finished in two days.

Yes Naruto has Wood Style since it makes sense for some Uzumaki to have it when they have high Chakra levels but as always Danzo had to fuck it up as always.