A/N: I do not own the Sight. But hey, do I wish I did. Love to David Clement Davies for giving me his wonderful characters to work with!
Kar was alone when he found her.
He was often alone – though he had a pack, he had become more and more of a loner in the years following Larka's death – oh, it still hurt to think her name, but he did anyway, letting it ring as a reminder of all he had failed to do. Larka, Larka, Larka… He forced himself to suffer the pain, the pain and ecstasy mingled in remembering the brief joy they had had – and the endless sorrow he had to live with.
He hadn't seen Fell for a long time, but Fell kept to himself – that, Kar could understand. He thought he knew that Fell felt that no one in their pack could ever forget what he had been before Larka had redeemed him – if one could ever be redeemed. Maybe souls once damned were damned forever, but Kar had hope that Fell might find peace. Because if Fell, Larka's brother, found peace, maybe Larka could as well, wherever she was now. Kar shivered as the bite of winter touched his bones and fought the urge to go back to the den and curl up with his packmates. Tonight, he felt, was a night for being alone. Huttser and Palla had passed on, as had Slavka, and now it was only he and the new pups that remained, and only he that truly remembered Larka.
He exhaled, a long and regretful breath. Sometimes it seemed that his whole life had been regret, but this was stronger, a regret that overtook everything. A regret that he and Larka could not have shared longer together. Kar's tail drooped between his legs, just thinking, even briefly, of her. All he had of her now was her sister, as she would have been, a white wolf also named Larka. She was no longer a pup, and her brother, Khaz, was now the Dragga of the pack. Soon, the new litter of pups would have their first hunt. Kar was not certain that he would be with them much longer. Perhaps on one of these wanderings he would not return to the pack, just keep walking on into the world to seek something, something other than this empty life that he lived now.
Lost in thought, he was startled when he heard a soft sound of a paw on the leaves behind him. He turned and found himself looking at another wolf, one he didn't recognize. She was smaller than he, being female, long legged and with a rare black coat, almost as dark as Fell's but flecked with gray. He felt his lips pull back in a snarl and his tail raise aggressively. He had not passed beyond the pack boundary. This wolf was trespassing on their territory, and she had been following him – for how long? He wondered – without announcing her presence. Immediately, she lowered herself to the ground, eyes lowered and lips pulled back in a submissive grin, a show of submission. He relaxed slightly – but only slightly. She did seem to be a loner, and therefore not much of a danger to the pack – but then, Morgra had been a loner when she came to them, and she had been more dangerous than anything the pack had faced before.
"Who are you?" he growled.
"My name is Nadya. I am only a loner. Please – forgive me for coming to your pack land. I saw you, and I seek a home. Do you have a pack, or are you a loner also?"
"I have a pack," said Kar warily. "But I do not know that they will take kindly to any loner trespassing on their pack lands."
"Please," said Nadya. "I must try."
"Fine," said Kar, feeling just a bit petulant and annoyed with the she wolf, who kept giving him considering looks. "Follow me."
He loped off, half hoping that he would lose her in speed, but she kept up easily, and soon they reached the waterfall that marked the pack's home. Soon the small stream would be frozen over, and snow would cover the wood. Winter was coming.
Kar sniffed around the den and found that the pack had been gone for only a short while. Probably, Khaz had taken the pups to a clearing so they could play for a time. They would be back soon. He settled back on his haunches to wait, not looking at the loner, Nadya – though he could feel her looking at him.
"Why were you wandering alone?" she asked. "If you have a pack, shouldn't you be with them?"
Kar looked at her briefly before looking back at the trees, scanning their trunks for any sign of wolves. "Sometimes, one needs to walk by oneself."
"Yes, but it seems odd. Is it not the way of wolves to desire company?"
"You were alone," Kar pointed out, though he knew it was not the same, and he was avoiding the question.
"I had no choice," said Nadya. "If I had a pack, I would want to spend time with them. Why don't you?"
"I don't think that you really need to know why I do or don't do anything," scowled Kar, frustrated, and willing Khaz to come back soon so that cursed female would stop staring at him.
"I'm just curious," said Nadya softly, sounding a little hurt.
Kar looked at her for a long moment and sighed, rising out of annoyance and sinking into gloom. "Sometimes, all I want for company is sorrow and my memories, and that isn't something a pack can give me."
Nadya didn't speak again until Khaz came padding out of the trees with the rest of the pack close behind. He didn't have a Drappa, yet. He eyed Nadya and looked at Kar. He gave a wolf grin as he padded over to him, looking cheered. "Kar, you're back!" he said happily. "And you've brought a loner? Where did you find her?"
"She was on the territory, shadowing me," said Kar sourly.
Nadya's tail was lowered and her eyes downcast respectfully. Khaz looked her up and down appreciatively, but Nadya still didn't look up. Khaz grinned at her, too. "I expect you'll want a place in the pack…?" he said. "Well, you're accepted. New hunters are welcome, and you seem to be a fine hunter. You look well fed for being on your own."
Nadya offered Kar a smile as she licked Khaz on the chin to show his dominance. "Thank you," she said softly before following him to the rest of the pack, where she was greeted warmly. Kar looked after her sourly and wondered whether Khaz would have his Drappa soon, the way he kept glancing at the she wolf. For some reason, that thought made him feel worse, but after a moment he trotted over to join the pack.
