A/N: : I own nothing. Not Naruto, One punch man or Spongebob or any other anime references you might find.
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PROLOGUE
"If you have anything to say for yourselves, please speak now, o r forever hold your peace."
"I, Puri-Puri Prisoner do hereby take, the S Class rank 14, Genos also known as Demon Cyborg to be my lawfully wedded husband." The buff man stood up. He was wearing a long sleeves shirt with black and white stripes indicating that as just stated in his name, he is a prisoner.
"HELL NO!" Genos readied to incinerate the man.
"Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down dude!" King tried to calm the enraged cyborg.
"Yeah take a chill pill Genos. Hey can I have some tea over here?" Saitama asked one of the staff present. "thanks."
"Dragon, Demon, whatever, just lemme take care of it!" Rank 16 of S class, Metal Bat ranted. Ugh! These morons were like wasting his time. Zenko's gonna kill him if he can't attend another one of her piano recitals.
This morning, all S class heroes were informed that they will have a very important meeting. Failure to attend will mean demotion. And so, everyone gathered and was unbelievably shocked to know that Sitch, yes, that old geezer is actually the S class rank 1! And will be presiding over the meeting. He stood amidst 2 tables. The shorter one, was positioned hozitonally with 5 HA board members sitting like a panel including Agoni himself. The vertical one was surrounded by all the S class heroes plus the A Class rank 39, Caped Baldy and the B class Rank 1, Jigoku no Fubuki
"We are gathered here today to join these two..." he motioned to Fubuki and Tatsumaki, he was about to continue when,
BUUUURP!
The S Rank10 Pig god (Buta Gami) gave a loud belch.
These heroes don't look in the best of moods today. And how long is that Pig gonna keep on eating? The S rank 8 Zombieman (Zonbiman) thought. Didn't Garou give him a lesson about consuming more-than-58%-of-the-population-and only produce shit already?
"I don't mean to sound rude Caped-Baldy san, but why are you here? The same goes for Miss Fubuki? Were you invited or summoned?" Tank Top Master politely asked.
"Did Bang and Genos invite you guys again? I can't believe the leader of the Fubuki group would agree to be the old man's disciple." Kamikaze, a.k.a. Atomic samurai, S Rank 4 commented. The first time he met Saitama, he did not acknowledge the man. But after that fight with Garou, he just couldn't bring himself to. He was defeated by Black Sperm and after that guy increased his power by 10 trillion, Garou kicked his butt, and then Saitama came along to toy with Garou.
There is no question in this man's strength. But there is in his sexuality. Hanging out too much with... males, not to mention they actually shared the same room... and they're not even kin. But with Fubuki, it's a different story. A chick needn't be strong. Women just had to be hot enough and he'd acknowledge them.
"But if you decide that his martial arts do not suit you, feel free to approach me." The swordsman wiggled his eyebrows at Fubuki.
"No I did not invite them, they were summoned as well." Bang, a.k.a. Silver Fang S rank 3, informed Atomic Samurai. "and they are not going to be my disciples. We just came together since we were about to have a housewarming party when the HA summoned us."
"Whoa! You guys are having a party and you did not invite me? Aw. Meanies!" the A rank 5, Dotei, a.k.a Child Emperor whined. Ever since he saw Saitama one-punching that Evil water- the monster he cannot defeat with science and physics- he had always wanted to know more about the guy. You see, he is a child genius, it was his brain that allowed him to be seated in the S class. But when it comes to hand-to-hand combat, his level is that of a kid his age.
"Hey! When this is over, can I come with you guys?" the boy licked his lollipop. He heard the demon cyborg address the baldy as 'sensei', maybe he can learn from the man as well? Ehehehe..
Said baldy just looked at him, "eh? Shouldn't you be asking your mom first?" Then he sipped his tea.
Dotei pouted. He has cram school later. His mom will NEVER allow him to skip. Aw. He'll just tag along and use his cuteness. Ehehe..
Back then, he actually wanted to meet the rank 1, but when he did, okay, change of pusuits.
Drive Knight (Kudo Kishi) the S rank 9 and Watchdog man S rank 12 just kept quiet.
Usually, Superalloy Darkshine would have assumed that everyone is looking at his shiny body, but not today. Garou taught him that his body wasn't the shiniest. So he was a bit modest today and thought, maybe if that baldy teaches me how to shine my head like his...
*eherm* Metal knight, real name Dr. Bofoi, former teacher/boss of Dotei, S rank 6 took everyone's attention. "if this is about the defense robots, the new proposals and designs are ready. I shall be submitting them together with the request for a specific hero to test them out right after the meeting.." His voice was that of a robot. Since the one attending was only a drone.
What? His back is killing him! Remember Onohki in the naruto verse? Yea, that bad. And besides it's this drone that does his hero work any way. So it's a legit proxy.
And the hero he wants to test the new defense robots? Well, obviously that's gonna be Saitama. The bald man destroyed the former ones after all. That and he wanted to conitnue observing this newbie.. on the offchance that he can challenge me..
"Yes, thank you, Metal knight. We shall speak of that as the third agenda." Sitch addressed him. the guy looked like he was one of the staff. Is he really Blast? If this is some kind of a sick joke...
S rank 13 Flashy flash (Senko no Furasshu) didn't like the pace of this meeting. "then, would like to start telling us what we are here for? You said that this was very important, BLAST."
"Not everything can be done in a flash, Flashy Flash. You would do well to keep that in mind, so as I was saying..." the S rank 1 scolded him.
"True. But that doesn't mean that you should keep us waiting for like 1 hour and 49 minutes!" the S rank 2 exploded. She has been here for the past 1 hour and 49 minutes waiting for the other retarded- erm, tardy heroes to arrive. Didn't their elementary schools teach them punctuality or something?
And this Sitch is Blast bullshit. She didn't want to believe it. These guys found the wrong Blast! She knew Blast. And his name wasn't Blast (well, not in this fanfic, anyway). The Association promised her that they'd recruit a person named Blast-an idea that she herself had recommended after informing them that someone named Blast was stronger than her. Ugh. Even if Sitch was strong enough to be Blast.. he's not the Blast she had in mind. So she's kinda' frustrated. Plus the squabble she had with Saitama and Fubuki yesterday...
Well, let's just say that pissing her off would make you regret the moment you were conceived.
The presiding hero nodded,"Very well. If you pro heroes would just be polite enough to let me finis—"
"NO! Let go! Sensei's picture remains with me!" Genos shrieked. A very manly shriek.
Knew it. Atomic samurai smirked.
"hey hey hey! Lemme see guys!" King jumped in the fray.
"What picture?" Saitama wondered out loud.
"Hey he has hair!" Dotei shouted out loud. Nobody knew how he got the said picture when King, Genos and Puri Puri prisoner have been at each other's neck to see it. "wow he sure looks different.
And with that Bang , Fubuki and Tatsumaki joined the rumble.
All hell broke loose.
"STOP IT!" Blast/Sitch yelled. By that time, it was Tatsumaki who had the said picture. Fubuki, Bang, King and the rest peering over her shoulders.
She was shaking.
Senritsu no Tatsumaki was shaking.
"YOU!"
A/N: thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think! The angst begins in next chpater. The next 20 or more chapters will be the days before this day. I kinda wanted to explore the backstory of other characters in OPM. And as for Saitama... well, he's OP as hell. So there.
