Summary: Upon reflection, Emma probably should have informed her mother of her relationship status years ago. Well, at least her preference.
"So, you approve of him, Regina?"
She raised a perfectly coiffed eyebrow, not bothering to hide her amusement in the miscommunication. "Why wouldn't I? I'd approve of anyone Emma deems worthy, as long as they have two good hands and a strong sense of commitment."
Beside her, Emma snorted, covering it as a cough. Snow White didn't pay it any mind, as she tried to get to the bottom of the mystery of her daughter's new 'husband'.
Best Christmas Ever.
AU SwanQueen
A Special Thank You to my Patrons: Joseph P Hawley, Alexander S, and AtomicStryker. Eternal thanks for your support.
Regina had assured her that it would be an easy decision. On paper, it was supposed to be an easy decision.
Well, of course it was going to be awkward; Emma didn't delude herself on the possibility that it wouldn't be.
Still, she was optimistic. It was her greatest flaw, according to her wife, way before they married.
Well, that, and her ability to see the good in people, an extension of said optimism. Or, more concerningly, her exceptionally high tolerance levels.
"So, how many guns do you have?"
Emma grinned tightly, while Regina groaned from the open doorway. "Two. One in a safe at home, one in my locker at the station. Want the combination?"
"So, none on your person? How do you expect to protect my sister and her son?"
"Our son," she corrected her, crossing her arms. "I protected them well enough from you, didn't I?"
"Fair point," Zelena conceded, swilling her champagne. "But don't be so melodramatic, dear. You can't use magic exclusively, especially outside of Storybrooke. Just because you're the Dark One, doesn't mean you should be as useless as your predecessor. You should have a backup plan. I'm only trying to help."
"I'll have you on speed dial," Emma tried to compromise, shrugging. "How does that sound?"
Her new sister-in-law frowned minutely, clearly surprised at Emma's suggestion. "Acceptable. Regina hasn't given you my number?"
"She hasn't given you mine?"
"I was sparing you," their topic finally spoke up, resting her hand on Emma's tense shoulder. "The international minutes would've been insane."
"I wouldn't have called that much. Is it terrible of me to want to check on my baby sister?" She pretended to look vulnerable, and Emma wanted to laugh at the attempt.
"In so few words? Impossible."
She pouted. "I have forty years to make up for."
"Trust me, big sis; according to the phone bill, you're five years ahead."
The formerly wicked woman could truly talk the ear off a gossip, but when your only company for decades is a herd of chattering monkeys, Emma could excuse it.
"Where's Henry?" she asked the blonde, switching targets again. "I haven't seen him since you came back from the honeymoon."
Emma caught herself from groaning, eyeing the innocent look her sister-in-law adopted. It was almost as if she knew the answer already, and just wanted to hear it again, for her own amusement. "At his grandparents'. We need time to get the presents in order."
Well, that part was a lie, and no one needed Emma's power to know that. A simple Higitus Figitus would march the presents from the attic, down the stairs, and under the tree in seconds – a spell that Regina had taught her four Christmases ago, and no matter what anyone said, she considered it their first real date.
Henry was actually on a mission, to gauge the Blanchards, for their reaction to the news of Emma's marital status, and to soften them up. He had nicknamed it Operation: Swan Dive.
'Because you're sending me on a suicide mission,' he explained, and instead of admonishing him, Regina snorted cutely, and continued dressing the pine tree with tinsel.
Spending Christmas with the Blanchards was going to be easier than Christmas with the Mills, in theory. At least, by Regina's theory.
And yeah, maybe it was a mistake to not tell her parents that she and Regina were getting married in the first place.
Maybe it was a mistake to run to Argentina and get eloped, days before their planned date because she was afraid someone would blab to her former roommate and current birthmother.
Maybe it wasn't nice to ignore her mother's calls and texts during their honeymoon-slash 'training retreat', and while it was significantly easier for Regina to go along with it and block her number happily, they didn't really have to essentially avoid Snow for the last two months.
Maybe she shouldn't have sent the woman on a scavenger hunt, telling different friends and family different excuses and alibis so the nosy, but worried, former Queen would never get the full story, about their travels to different parts of the world, in the guise of magical training and self-discovery, but really, it was a honeymoon.
Magical training was had, sometimes, but it was mostly physical training and mutual discovery, and Regina made a much more enthusiastic student than teacher, Emma found.
Emma herself discovered that she was a natural at both.
So maybe Snow White might get a little irked that her daughter would be coming home for Christmas, newly contracted family in tow, but it would have been much worse if she had found out. Maybe.
And maybe, just maybe, she probably should've told David and Snow that she had been dating Regina for the past five years. Probably could've avoided all this mess to begin with.
Maybe. She wasn't so sure about that.
Hell, Cora knew before the Charmings could know. The Mills matron was more than put off that she wouldn't be able to attend the wedding, for personal reasons that Emma completely understood.
"Are you still upset about that?" She pouted, much more convincingly than her redheaded daughter. "I've apologized more times than I can count (Emma counted two). It's really about time you cease with that silly little grudge already, dear."
Regina's eye twitched, and Emma noticed the telltale pulse of the vein in her forehead, like a fuse being lit. "Oh, really."
"If I didn't get rid of that pesky boy, you might've actually married him, lived a simple, mediocre life and you never would've set upon your convoluted revenge plot that introduced our dear Emma into your life." She said it all as if it was obvious, while her other daughter nodded in agreement, swaddling little Robyn. "Really, it's funny how life works out. And since I'm not allowed to come to the wedding, I suppose I can't bring a gift, then, can I? The thanks I get for making this union possible. Unbelieva – you know, I should've been the damn officiant."
The fact that she knew that they were called 'officiants' made the blonde think that the elder Mills woman had looked it up, and had actually expected the call to marry them together. Still, if Emma could pin it down to a single moment, that was probably the one that inspired Regina to submit to her elopement plan. It was the best way to distract Emma from finally killing her then-fiancée's mother. In the Dark Savior's humble opinion, she was delaying the inevitable, and she had to have known that, but perhaps she was saving the honor for her birthday.
Buenos Aires was lovely without any distractions, and they both promised to return one day with Henry, on an actual family vacation. Well, the only family that mattered. Her friends, bless them for wanting to go, didn't have any passports, and she didn't want to risk conjured documents against the might of TSA passport scanners and CBP dogs. Getting them to the wedding was enough a hassle.
Henry had a passport, but was adamant that he didn't want to go, and while Regina had agreed that they would excuse him from school if he really did want to come with them, he volunteered to stay at Zelena's during their absence.
"I'd love to be there for the wedding," he explained, uneasily. "But where would I go for the honeymoon?"
Regina blushed, and stuttered, and Emma choked on her glazed turnover.
They presented the idea of Henry going with either his fairy godmother, Tinker Bell, or his actual godmothers, Belle and Lacey – or any of the few friends that actually had a passport. He still looked unsure, and a bit more prodding revealed that he had inherited Emma's fear of heights, and had no intention of getting on a plane. Regina finally suggested magic teleportation, prompting a confused look from the Darkest Savior.
"It might not work – we need to know where we're going," Regina explained, correctly guessing Emma's question. "We're still not positive our magic will work outside our town bubble reliably, and I don't want either of us stuck half a world away, minutes before our wedding. Going by plane and figuring it out from there would be much easier for us, instead of teleporting Henry to some hotel room in Argentina."
"I don't need to know where I'm going to pop back and forth, though. And I'm pretty sure the hotel has mirrors. We could just sneak peek."
The brunette bit her lip. "We still need the travel miles, Emma."
Even in her near-omniscience, she had no idea why the brunette was obsessed with her flying credits, but the subject was dropped, and Emma promised to have plenty of pictures taken, and videos, of the wedding, while she figured something out.
"Just don't get them mixed up with the rest of the vacation photos," Henry quipped, and Regina nearly collapsed with horror at the thought, a fear Emma was going to have to alleviate later in order to get anything done. She gave her son a paralyzing look, that promised nothing but interruptions on any and all future dates with Violet. He harrumphed. "I'll teach you how to make separate folders on the camera."
Of the people they had told beforehand, Ruby was the most upset, as she was looking forward to the bachelorette party.
"I was so close to convincing Elsa to make, then jump out of, an ice cream cake for you," she pouted. "I got her to perform for me – she's better than you would think, she's a real natural once you get past the, y'know, frigid exterior."
Emma raised an eyebrow. "And did you tell Belle about that little private party?"
The brunette smirked back. "Lacey was the one who taught her the moves."
The Sheriff shook her head at her friend's antics. "I feel like the party was more beneficial for you than for me. Regina wouldn't have gone for any of that."
Red shrugged, unconcerned. "Well, you're the only one weird enough to bring your fiancée to your bachelorette party, and then leave early."
"We had to get on a plane. Even Sheriffs and Mayors have to take off their shoes at checkpoints, too."
"Too bad you couldn't make it to the post-party orgy. Lily was there, too," she added as an afterthought, and Emma laughed. "And Ingrid. I don't know if I could ever get over the cold tongue, though."
Her friend stopped laughing, and looked at Ruby again. "Wait – you're serious."
"Okay, so it wasn't an orgy; just a lot of drinking, some dancing, a few hookups. Ariel and Tinker Bell were freaks, they almost tried to start one in the middle of the floor. If you hadn't moved the date up so abruptly, we could've had more people. Mulan's pretty pissed that she missed it. Oh! Mal gave me her number, in case you changed your mind about a more public ceremony. I thought you'd already have her number."
She did. When she relayed the story to Regina, she scoffed loudly. "Mal is getting in that wolf's skinny jeans, party or not. A not-so-subtle gesture at opening a dialogue - a literal calling card of hers. I wouldn't be surprised if she gave everyone involved her number, the terrible flirt. She's certainly tried with me enough times."
"She did what?"
"Oh, sorry, dear. Not in this world. Back in the Enchanted Forest, when we were on relative speaking terms. Before I enslaved her in my dungeon, not an innuendo."
"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "And did you?"
Her newlywed partner snorted, tangling their fingers together as she drove the Mercedes-Benz down Caselotti Way. "Of course not. She was an annoying older sister, at most. An inspired punching bag I was never permitted to punch, at the very least."
"You never saw me as an annoying younger sister?"
"Annoying? Absolutely, especially in the first month or two. A sister? Clearly not." When she stopped at the stop sign, she glanced at her fondly, rubbing her thumb in the back of her hand. "Lucky for the both of us, I had the fortitude to do what Anna and Elsa couldn't."
Had Emma been driving, she would've crashed, the way she laughed. "Anna and Elsa? Really?!"
"Of course, darling, keep up. They're clearly into each other. It's not like they were raised together, per se. I don't think I need to remind you of our family tree, and the tangled limbs within."
"Yeah, but they always knew they were sisters. Blood-related."
"I know," Regina sighed. "An unfortunate hand they've been dealt, truly."
Henry answered the door, and Operation: Swan Dive was, in Emma's eyes, an astounding success, in relation to the title.
In hindsight, they should've named it Operation: Canary, as her son looked like he came out of a poisonous coal mine.
"They're mad," he whispered, and Emma gave Regina a look.
"The British mad, or…?"
"Yes."
"And what did you say?"
"They know that Emma got married," he told them casually, innocently enough, and Emma knew in that moment that he was more Regina's kid than anyone realized.
"And you didn't tell them – anything else?"
He shrugged. "And ruin the surprise? I'm not gonna be the Scrooge this year."
"Merry Christmas to me," Regina whispered, kissing him on the cheek. "And Birthday, and Anniversary. And next Christmas. Santa finally listened."
"Is there a Santa in the Enchanted Forest?"
"Obviously not, or this would've happened a lot sooner."
"Us getting married, or my parents collapsing of a broken heart?"
She seemed to consider for a few seconds, crossing the threshold into the spacious apartment. "Ask me after I see the look on their faces. I need to compare."
"Emma!" The former schoolteacher and current Mayor of Storybrooke came down the stairs from her room, smoothing down her ugliest of ugly Christmas sweaters – clearly not a gift of Granny's, her own was quite cool-looking – and Emma at first assumed she had just left the mistletoe with David. Considering she closed the door behind her, and whisper-yelled, she was probably just putting down the baby. Which was unfortunate – Snow was usually a lot easier to deal with after she got laid, and more difficult after fussing with little Neal. "What the hell is Henry talking about? You got married? To who?!"
"Merry Christmas to you too, Mom," Emma rolled her eyes, and she was beginning to see it from Regina's point of view. "Let's just pretend you've ever said it to me before, and pretend you have the right to demand anything of me. So, where's dad? I have an announcement to make."
Snow, thoroughly chastised, snapped her mouth shut, her lips forming a thin line, before she turned away.
"The correct wording is 'to whom', by the way," Regina quipped. "I wish you luck in the next election, dear. Because if you go back to school, it won't be for teaching." She chuckled at Snow's childish response, before whispering to her wife, "I must've been a very good girl this year."
Emma scoffed, tapping her jean-clad rear after making sure Henry followed his grandmother into the loft. "I have overwhelming video evidence that shows you haven't."
"I don't see you arresting me."
"Last time I tried that, we lost the key, and I had to learn the summoning spell on the spot."
"Don't remind me. Didn't you have a spare?"
"Shattered, remember? Would've had to call dad for another set."
"That would've been… awkward."
"What would've been awkward?" Snow demanded, coming down the stairs with David, who looked none-too-pleased himself.
"Where is he?"
Emma shrugged, moving to lean against the counter and stare at the overstuffed meal before her, while Regina smiled demurely.
"He's in the car, waiting for us to soften you up. Because he's oh so afraid of a man named Charming."
Emma giggled, while Snow narrowed her eyes. "I thought that was Henry's job. So, you approve of him, Regina?"
She raised a perfectly coiffed eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I? I'd approve of anyone Emma deems worthy, as long as they have two good hands and a strong sense of commitment."
Beside her, Emma snorted, covering it as a cough. She was sure even Killian would have laughed at that one, but Neal probably would've taken offense.
Mary Margaret didn't pay it any mind, even more perplexed. "And now they're both still living with you?"
"I guess I'm not in the room anymore," Emma muttered to herself, while Regina responded with "I wouldn't exactly be losing another room, would I? This isn't the fifties, dear, I didn't move in two twin beds and a lamp desk to put in between. I will always have a room in the Mills Home for family, and that includes the mother of my son, and her spouse. Just don't tell that to Cora and Zelena."
"And what about Henry? Does he have three parents now?"
The child in question, completely aware of the durability of his poker face, didn't look away from his brand new Switch, while Regina continued to answer, completely unfazed. At least he had inherited one thing from the blonde. "That depends entirely on Henry. Today, of all days, a large family is advantageous, and we didn't raise a fool. Tomorrow, however, may hold a different answer." She grinned predatorily, a look that Snow was all too familiar with, and it hadn't lost its luster after so many years. "Call me selfish, But I was never quite fond of sharing. I trust Emma, so I trust her judgement."
"So, you don't have a problem with Emma running off and getting married to this… this mystery man? Even after she didn't invite you to the wedding?"
"Whoever told you that, dear? I knew of the relationship since the beginning. I was the maid of honor."
Snow let out a betrayed gasp, covering her mouth, and Regina committed the look to memory, wishing she had brought her camera with her, but the files were still being transferred to their computer.
They used a lot of memory cards.
"'Gina," Emma admonished, and her wife pouted. "Tell them the truth, please."
"Fine. I wasn't the Maid of Honor. Ruby was. But I was certainly there, and quite honored, nevertheless. How could she have gone behind my back to get married, when we were on vacation together?"
Not for the first time, she was embarrassed at how dense her stepdaughter was, as the implications flew right over her head. "So; who is he?" Snow demanded again, while David finally had enough, marching towards the door without pause.
"Oh, settle down," Regina muttered, waving her hand airily, and the door made an audible click sound as the lock was fixtured. She allowed David a few embarrassing seconds of stress testing the deadbolt, before she continued. "He'll reveal himself when he's ready. I'm sure he's quite nervous, after all; Snow White is known for her torture methods."
"We just want to talk to him," Snow adamantly told her, completely missing the brunette's sarcasm. "We just want to see who captured our little girl's heart… and why she didn't bother telling us!"
"Hey, yo!" Her daughter dog-whistled lowly, mindful of the baby in the other room, sparing a wave of her hand. "I'm still here. Hi. What's up? How we doin'?"
She looked nonplussed, and unamused, and every negative feeling that Snow White refused to show anyone but family. "Why didn't you tell us you got married – who you got married to? Or even the fact that you were dating anyone – Why did we have to miss our baby girl's wedding? Was this some reckless, spur of the moment thing? Do you need to get it annulled? You have plenty of time to make mistakes, you're still young…"
"Jesus, Snow, I'm six months older than you! And this is exactly why I didn't tell you, for the record. You refuse to accept that you're too late, and I've grown up."
"Are you sure you have? Family doesn't keep secrets from each other!"
Regina conjured a drink for herself as she hopped back onto the counter, subtly rubbing circles into her beloved's back, while Emma took a calm breath. If Snow hadn't seen the former Evil Queen do that thousands of times before, and Emma reciprocate the move just as often, she would have taken note. "Snow freakin' White, don't you dare lecture me about secrets."
"Oh, this again? I thought we got past this! I was eight!"
Her brunette wife rolled her eyes, silently wondering when they ever got 'past this' – probably when the former queen decided that her daughter was worth more of her time – while the blonde pursed her lips. "Not what I was even talking about, but thanks for bringing that up, too. If I'd brought Lily with me, could you even look me in the eye and tell me that we don't keep secrets from family? That you're old enough to understand the weight of your actions with family?"
She gasped. "You married Lily?"
Emma buried her head in her hands.
Regina said nothing, sipping her apple cider delicately, never quite removing the mug from her lips. Emma supposed it was to hide her chuckle. "No, Mary Margaret, I did not marry Lily. She's been more of a sister to me than you've ever been a mother."
She let out a wholly affronted gasp, and Regina made a note to get Marco to craft her a… what did Henry call it? A pensieve? She didn't know how it would work, but if she and the Enchanted Forest could exist, then Hogwarts might exist somewhere else, right?
That speculation stirred in her mind for longer than she would admit, while mother and daughter continued to argue.
"I told you I was sorry, Emma, but that was not my fault. Look at the self-control you've managed, even as the Dark One! Everything I've done, I did for your safety!"
"My safety? Or your kingdom?"
"Both! Your kingdom!"
"Oh great, what I've always wanted. Maybe if you talked to me, you would know that I so don't fucking care about your medieval backwoods forest colony."
Luckily, Regina was only half-listening, her eyes intently focused on Snow White's vast expressions of despair. She didn't want to summon a tin of caramel corn, in respect to her wife. Maybe she could summon it in her pocket…
"You should, Emma! It's where you came from! Where you could've been raised in!" When her daughter pursed her lips, glaring with legitimate agitation, she felt an even further need to defend herself. Naturally, she only succeeded in increasing Emma's ire. "We all know why I didn't get the chance to raise you there. Why I'll never get the chance to raise Neal in our kingdom. If you can't accept that much, then congratulations, Regina. You've turned my daughter against me."
"Frankly, Snow, your daughter turned me." Strictly speaking, that was true, despite Mal's best efforts. She took another sip. "But I understand your point. Hopefully her spouse can get her to see reason, and try to get her back on your side. I've been told – mainly by you – that I'm a bad influence, and I've taken that criticism to heart."
Snow White sniffed in disdain. "Stop trying to guilt me. You're worse than your mother, and she killed mine."
"And you nearly killed mine. From a third-party perspective, I'd say we're about even by now."
"Stop tallying your evil acts! She is not a stranger, Regina, not a casualty of war! She is family. My family. My daughter. I will not have you destroy her, too!"
She leaned back, setting the mug down, licking her grinning lips. "And if I honestly did, Snow White; if I had the smallest inkling of trying. What would you do about it? She's right here, in front of you. I convinced her to be here tonight. We would have happily avoided you for longer." She silently counted to five, reveling in the uneasy look of her long-time rival, and looked over to her best friend. "Darling, did you need a synopsis? I was once an Evil Queen, and after trying to kill you, I befriended you for four years, traded each other's lives for one another, taught you the art of the most powerful of magics, allowed you to live in my home to the point where your mail is redirected to Mifflin Street, allowed you unfiltered access to raise our son, watched from the best seat in the house as you vowed your happy ending, and now, I think I'm finally ready to kill you again. Shall we duel on New Year's Day, or do you concede to my longform, Rumple-esque strategy?"
Her wife gave her a pat on the leg, still staring directly at her mother. "Well? Would you do anything about it? I can't argue with the plan, I'm ready to give up. Even if she told me her lasagna was poisoned, I'd lick the glass clean in my death-sleep."
Regina scoffed. "You love my lasagna so much, you wouldn't even need Henry to wake you up."
"I make pretty good lasagna," Mary Margaret grumbled, before straightening up. "Fine. If you didn't want to be here, you only had to say so. If you didn't want me at your wedding, in your life, you don't even want to tell me who your damn partner is, then why should I try? You keep stressing how I didn't raise you, standing next to the woman that took you from me; practically ripped you out of my arms! Twenty-eight years, and five more since. How long are you going to punish me? How long will you hold this over me?"
"I'm not holding anything over you, Snow White. I don't resent you for letting me go, not anymore. Not when I have so much more to resent you for." She made a different grimace, fingers fidgeting on her beloved's knee, before they slammed at her sides. "Because you decided that when you saw your little girl suffering, alone in a foster home, alone and afraid, you decided that she wasn't your daughter anymore. She was the Savior." Before Snow could object to her words, she snapped her fingers, and Snow fell back into David, who was just as dizzy as his wife, but had the wherewithal to keep his balance. "You didn't remember that day, but you made your choice with a full conscience. Now you get to live with it."
Regina blinked at the sight of the reeling couple. "Darling?"
"They woke up once, during your curse – the first one. They even talked to Rumple – that's how I know. They saw lil' ol' me through a portal, sitting in a foster bed alone at three in the afternoon, and they chose to keep me there, go back to their cursed lives, and forget the whole thing happened. So I could be the Hero at the end of your story."
She remembered that moment, too. Preemptively glancing at her son, she was pleased to see the expensive headphones working rather well, snugly around his ears as he played Splatoon, absent from the world. It was a purchase she just knew would be used against her later, but for the moment, she was grateful for it. Her expression hardened as she turned her focus on her stepchildren turned parents-in-laws. "You… you just got back into the hospital bed and acted like nothing was wrong." She eyed the Deputy like he was the scum of the earth – with more vitriol than usual. "You both woke up from my curse, and willingly put yourselves back in, because you wanted… your hero? Your kingdom back?" She slammed the mug back down on the counter to emphasize her words, and in the other room, Neal wailed loudly. "What in the hell is wrong with you!?"
David glared at Regina, even as Snow stumbled to check on her child. "In case you forgot, that was all your fault." Even he didn't look like he believed it, and though he wasn't afraid to face off against the former Evil Queen, his fidgeting hands at his side told Emma that he wished he wasn't so helpless, in this moment – unarmed, his wife gone, his resentful daughter standing against him….
Perhaps he was finally learning that he held no relevance to this dispute. He had been fighting his wife's battles for too long.
Regina didn't see it that way. She hopped off the counter, her boots striking the floor with authority. "My fault? I told you to get rid of your daughter? I made you decide that her destiny was more important than her happiness, than a stable home? I didn't make her an orphan, Charming, despite my worst efforts. You did."
He set his jaw, and continued glaring when Snow returned, baby in tow. Emma shook her head. "I need to get out of here. Merry Freaking Christmas."
Snow stalked forward, bouncing Neal in her arms. "Emma, don't. Don't do this to me. Yell at me, scream at me, I'll apologize all day. I'm truly sorry for what we did, but that doesn't change what we did, and it never will. That's why we're here today, as a family. If I had grabbed you through the portal and brought you into the curse, what then? You'd be a teenager, with no memory of us by the next day, and we wouldn't know who you are. Henry wouldn't even exist, your father would be in a coma, and I would be… here. Alone, and childless. Our family wouldn't exist because of my 'mistakes'." There was no waver in her tone, no fidget in her amber eyes, staring at her with her motherly frown. She certainly believed her words.
Unfortunately, she passed her stubborn attitude down, and despite everything said back and forth, she was truly her daughter in that moment.
Emma's eyes flashed a deadly onyx color, while her cornflower hair suddenly gleamed pure white. Her hands weren't aflame, but it still gave Mary Margaret pause, flinching back from what she thought was a long-dead appearance. "You could have come to me, dumbass. Since you have this never-ending optimism about family sticking together, you could've come to me, and we could've figured it all out, as a fucking family. But you couldn't abandon your people, couldn't even entertain the thought. You couldn't let her win once, could you? You made a promise that she wouldn't win, and goddammit, you stick to your guns."
The air was tense, suffocating, and Snow White imagined that if they had a gas heater, the entire loft would have gone up in a fireball. "You didn't even say her name just now, like she isn't even involved in this. And Henry? Regina still would have wanted a child, she still would have adopted, and she woulda loved the shit out of that kid named Henry. Maybe even – !"
She paused, and suddenly laughed a very bitter laugh, and it sent shivers through the spines of everyone in the room. Neal giggled. "Yeah, wouldn't that be some Rumple'd shit to pull? Maybe she would've adopted me? But we'd still be frozen in time, wouldn't we? Doesn't matter if it's five years ago, or twenty years from now. I'd still somehow make my way here, ready to break a curse. No matter how long it takes, it was always my destiny to ruin her life, wasn't it? That's how fate works. That's how prophesies work. The Charming family motto; what was it? 'I will always find you', right? I'll always find you, Someone will always find me, I'll always find some incredible mystical bullshit, a plot device of the week to make my day easier, a way to make her life hell, like you've done before me? We don't do much together, but is that the family tradition that we must aspire to? Four fucking generations and counting?!"
Regina gave her a forlorn look, raising her hand to her blond partner's shoulder, unconcerned with the static air. "After all this time, you still blame yourself."
"I took away your happy ending. When the curse ended, the rest of the bullshit began." She huffed, shaking her head. "Sorry."
"That bullshit was our lives, Emma. And the beginning of our happy ending. I'm certain that was in my vows."
She briefly chuckled. "I thought you were being sarcastic. You'd think that being the Dark One would have made me immune to curse-breaking kisses. Almost as useless as Christmas miracles."
"You would think that the Evil Queen could've taught you that lesson before you ever had the chance to wonder. But alas, lately, I've had a change of heart…"
Throughout the exchange, Snow White blinked slowly at her blonde-again daughter, then at her brunette step-mother. Her eyes roved over their body language, their closeness, and the fondness in their eyes as they locked onto each other with dawning, terrifying recognition.
She… she didn't think she was too blind. She'd seen this exchange, this companionship, for a number of years, at this point. Snow ignored it, or refused to think too hard about it, knowing that her daughter was merely trying her best to maintain the alliance between Regina and Snow White, knowing their history and the witch's sensitivities were so volatile, and her brave daughter was going beyond the call of duty to make sure she didn't turn to the darkness again. Emma would have made a great ambassador, she knew. She fought so hard to have Regina released from jail after the curse broke, spent so much time with her when she was on house arrest, and literally travelled to the ends of the realms to find her…
A sharp intake of breath on her part broke the spell, and Emma broke away and frowned at her, like she was interrupting a moment that shouldn't have been interrupted. A moment that nearly radiated something special, a supposedly married woman lusting after –
Regina innocently moved to Emma's other side to gesture towards the door, unlocking it, and while her husband's eyes naturally followed, eagerly awaiting the guest that she wasn't entirely sure was a figment of her and David's imagination, she was more entranced by the white mug left behind on the counter, and the cursive purple scrawl on the front:
If this mug isn't empty, please annoy my wife instead.
Emma paid it no mind, taking her best friend's hand and making their way towards the door. "In case you don't see me, Happy New Year. Come on, Henry."
"…Regina?! Y-you… Regina MILLS?!"
Her husband winced at the screech that echoed through the lot. Henry had just removed his headphones upon hearing his name, and nearly fell out of his chair at the sound of his mother's. Unexpectedly, baby Neal giggled again.
The brunette in question paused instep while Emma gave her little brother a reserved, guilty grin.
"Regina Mills-Swan, actually. At the risk of sounding redundant, I'll leave the turnovers on the counter. Come to Mifflin Street on New Year's, or when you're ready to talk. Less… acoustics."
"I…" she deflated, recklessly plopping on the chair behind her, while David had a hopeless look that really made Emma pity him. It wasn't his fault; he was just following his passionate wife throughout his whole life. It's just what people in love do, and she commiserated. "I… I'm trying to understand this, I just… I probably should have figured." She looked on the verge of crying, even as her baby cooed, reaching up to pull at her sweater collar. "Congratulations, Emma. Congratulations, Regina. Can we please talk about this?"
"No."
Snow trembled in her chair, more than little Neal in her arms, and she bit her lip. "Emma, please…."
"No more talking. You've done enough talking. Next time we meet, I'll speak, and you'll listen. Both of you. You can see me as your daughter, the Savior, the Dark One; it doesn't matter. I want some stone-cold revelations out of you for the next year, or you won't have a daughter. My legal, non-Enchanted name is Emma Swan-Mills. Accept it, and we can start getting along. Don't, and I'm out of here, and we leave Storybrooke behind, because clearly, we've outgrown this town, and I was really enjoying travelling the world."
Snow gasped, tears in her eyes, while David, sitting beside her, tiredly shook his head, clearing his throat. "Of course we'll accept it. We'll accept any decision you make. I don't care who you marry, I didn't raise you. Live your own life. I'm just asking to be a part of it."
She nodded, her face showing no emotion, and turned away with Regina. "My wife's invitation still stands. Next week, you can come over, and we'll talk. Right now, I just want to spend some time with my family."
With Henry behind them, Emma and Regina Swan-Mills left the apartment, and before Emma could grab the car door handle, Regina pressed her back against the Mercedes, and gave her a searing kiss.
"I skip the honeymoon, and now I get a live presentation," Henry pouted from behind as he stood beside the locked car, and Emma took pity on him, absently flicking her fingers and swirling him away, her eyes still closed.
Regina backed away, frowning. "You didn't have to send him home. He would've liked to hear this."
Emma grinned ferociously, leaning in to press her lips against her neck. "I don't think so, unless you want to make Archie a rich man. Again."
Her wife moaned, ignoring the tease about her past, in favor of the news she couldn't hold back anymore, regarding their future. "I suppose this is more a gift for us," she managed to whine out, before holding Emma by her earlobes, gently pulling back. Her wedded lover, the almighty Dark Savior, playfully whimpered at the loss, but her curious green eyes searched hers, patiently waiting for her next words. "But should we wait until tomorrow to tell him about his new little brother or sister?"
"His… his – ?" Pulling back abruptly, The Dark Savior's eyes roamed over her again, with omniscient eyes, and tears began to leak before she could even process the image of the tiny being resting within her. It was barely the size of a prune, but without a doubt, it was there. "You're p-pregnant," she whispered softly, before rightfully panicking. She herself nearly had a heart attack when she found out, and not for the most obvious reasons. "How? You told me you couldn't – "
"I couldn't. Not until you." She pressed her lips to her beloved's once more, before pulling back. "I'd be more worried as to how you could've given me a child to begin with, considering we had none of the necessary ingredients for the recipe, but I suppose both leads to the same answer."
Emma snorted through her tears. Just when she thought she might have been able to get through the night without crying. "True Love's kiss? Again?"
"Do you have any other guesses?"
"I'm a cocktail of the darkest of magics ever, and the light magic of a savior in a prophesy foretold hundreds of years ago. You're the most naturally gifted witch I've ever had the pleasure to butt heads with, and the other half of said prophesy. But if you think that has nothing to do with it, then maybe it's a Christmas Miracle?"
"Idiot," she whispered, her voice thick, fingers stroking back her blonde hair. "I did the math; it must've been sometime during the honeymoon – as early as our wedding night."
"So it's closer to a Thanksgiving Miracle? Or a Halloween miracle, maybe?"
She hummed, still toying with her silky strands, framing this moment in her life - her own nervousness, her wife's awkward jokes to hide her own, Snow White looking down at them through her window - all of it. "I do hope they have your hair. Or at least your eyes. Not even the Dark One's essence could challenge the light in these green eyes."
"Says the genetically perfect sixty-year old." She was silent for a moment, wrapping her arms around her beloved's waist. "I can see the future, you know. It's tempting to do it."
"You know, I truly don't mind if you do. It would be very helpful. Honestly, I'm tired of surprises. We've had enough of those."
"Like I said; it's tempting, not gonna lie. But I won't. I'm not making the same mistakes my parents made. Fate, the future, destiny, whatever. I'm looking at you, our baby, Henry. You're my future. And that's as far as I want to see."
Regina's eyes weren't dry before, and they certainly weren't now. Blinking the moisture away, she hid her face in her partner's neck. "Does your omniscience give you all the right words to make me fall for you every day?"
"Hmm… no. You want the truth? I think that's from my mother's side. She used to kill at those little speeches of hers. She's gonna fight like hell to get us to name them Hope."
She made a disgusted sound. "I think I'm getting morning sickness."
Her wife chuckled, happy tears ruining her normal vision to mingle with her best friend's, pulling her closer. "I knew you were going to say that. Merry Christmas, Missus Swan."
"And you as well, Missus Mills."
AN: This story has been worked over, on and off, since February 2020. Quite proud of it.
So when I announced that I was leaving for a while, I still had every intention of putting this out, because I invested far too much into it to put it on the shelf any longer. Like, a literal investment. You'll see the results of that later.
(This is a solid one-shot, and originally intended as a one-shot, but I figured I should have them yell at Snow White some more.)
Please, leave a review, and I'll thank you in the next chapter! Happy Holidays, and #F***2020!
