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xXx Family Feud xXx
xXx Life.1: The Pervert's Sister xXx


"So what's the catch, Ise?" the beautiful redhead sitting at the Hyoudou family's dining room table listening to one of the other diners explaining to everyone else that he had just been asked on a date.

Issei Hyoudou suddenly froze with a slightly horror struck expression appearing on his face, "What?! What do you mean, 'what's the catch', Ayame?"

The redhead looked up at him with those large soul rending green eyes of hers and remarked, "Well obviously, there has to be some sort of catch, Ise. I mean, who is actually going to ask you of all people, to date them with the reputation you and your two numbskull friends have built up around town?"

Neither one of their parents were likely to jump in and offer input, as they had already realized that Ayame was more than a little annoyed with her brother for his repeated attempts to peep on her of all people. So long as they didn't come to blows, Gorou and Miki had long since decided to stay out of their arguments.

"I… I…." Issei started to protest.

"Wait, do you not even know her name?" Ayame wondered in complete bafflement, and when Issei failed to formulate a response, she decided, "I'll tell you what, if this turns out to be a legitimate date offer, I'll take back everything bad I ever said about you or your friends."

"Deal!" Issei exclaimed. What he didn't know, was that Ayame planned on keeping watch over her brother by way of her familiar. For his own safety, of course!


Issei's date actually wound up happening a full three days after he had told his family about it, which only gave Issei more time to rub the fact that he had a girlfriend and his two friends didn't in their face. In doing that he just made them act out worse in regards to the other girls that lived in the town. During those three days, Ayame had to kick Matsuda and Motohama's arses three different times, once per day in fact, and she wasn't the only girl to do such a thing as she had heard the Kendo Club had a go at them once during that time frame, and that the Student Council had been out for their blood for some reason or other.

When the day of the date finally came, Ayame was horrified to discover that her brother had left a full three hours prior to his date, and that he had not seen fit to inform her where the date would be occurring. Those two facts, combined with the fact that she hadn't anticipated his decision to leave so early, meant that she had overslept and missed her chance to have her familiar following him! "Dammit! If he gets himself killed, I'll never forgive him!"

"He'll be fine," a voice spoke into her mind. It was the voice of the dragon that resided within her Sacred Gear, Albion, the Vanishing Dragon. The fact that it had been Albion's power which had saved her life when she was but a year old was what allowed her to fully relax, as she knew the dragon had nothing but her best interests at heart, though she did wonder what made the dragon so confident in her brother's survival. "In all due time, Iris."

"Don't call me that!" Ayame shouted. She hated that name, even if 'Ayame' was simply the Japanese translation of the word. Iris was what the idiotic witches and wizards in Great Britain referred to her as and she wanted absolutely nothing to do with those people now that that damned tournament was over.

Knowing that it would be futile to try and track down her brother at this point, Ayame instead used a teleportation glyph to travel down to the Underworld to bug her King and said woman's husband.


While seeing her King was always a refreshing thing for Ayame, it was the joy of getting to look after little Milicas while his mother was busy performing the various assorted duties she was obligated to perform that truly made Ayame's time as Grayfia Lucifuge's Queen a blessing to the young woman. She knew just how overworked Grayfia was, as the woman was not just House Gremory's maid, but also her husband's Queen and Secretary all combined into one singular entity.

Ayame had been asked to become Grayfia's Queen when she was nine years old and attending lessons at Mahoutokoro's primary school. It had been a confusing request for her at the time, but now that she knew why it had been offered to her, she fully appreciated the protection being Grayfia's Queen had afforded her.

It had surprised Ayame when she first showed up at Kuoh Academy a few years ago, to discover that there were other Devils, one of which was the sister of Grayfia's husband, in attendance at the school. Although, seeing as how they have yet to confront her about being a devil, Ayame had to assume they had failed to recognize her without the maid outfit she wore while shadowing Grayfia when she was working at the Gremory estate. She never felt it necessary to ask Grayfia about their presence, as she assumed it wasn't an important matter for her to know about it when Grayfia failed to inform her about their presence after she decided to transfer from Mahoutokoro to Kuoh Academy for her high school education.

Within Kuoh in fact, Ayame was considered one of the Great Ladies of Kuoh Academy, right alongside of Rias Gremory and Akeno, though unlike the latter two, Ayame earned that distinction both by being incredibly attractive and by kicking the arse of her brother's two friends whenever she caught them in the act. Issei was usually immune to her wrath due to being largely harmless.

So it was after a long day playing with little Milicas that Ayame returned to her family's home. As soon as she entered the home however, Ayame froze as she could feel the presence of another Devil. It took her all of five seconds to track the energy signature to her brother's bedroom, and open the door enough to discover that 'yes, my brother really is a devil now.' As soon as she made that realization she exited the room and made her way over to her own room, while muttering, "I suspect this is the result of me having won our little bet, though I doubt he'll admit to such if I ask him."

Shaking her head in exasperation, Ayame decided to just wait and see how this played out. Worst case scenario, he wound up in Sona's Peerage.


It was a few days later that Ayame entered the classroom that she shared with her brother and his two perverted friends as well as several others, and noted that he still had yet to adjust to the changes that his body had undergone. It was abundantly clear that whoever had reincarnated him as a Devil had not bothered to help him with the transition like they should have.

'I suppose I won't be thanking whichever Princess it was that saved his life. Not if this is how they plan on handling their responsibilities,' Ayame thought to herself, while taking her seat and pointedly ignoring the fact that Matsuda and Motohama were literally begging her to kick their arses again.

Or she ignored them until Motohama exclaimed, "There is no way that you, the manifestation of all sexual desires, would fall sick!"

Slowly turning around, Ayame glared at the pervert in question and asked him, "Did you just imply that my brother managed to contract an STD, before either of you numbskulls succeeded in getting yourselves infected with the same?"

Issei began losing color in his face, as he now realized that a spear through the stomach was a far more pleasant death than what could have happened if he had been able to get what at the time, had been his wish for the end of that date. "Yeah, I don't think I want to hang out with you two anymore."

With that, Issei stood up and relocated his belongings to the desk that was next to his sister's. It was a seat that had been left open for him at Ayame's request for about as long as boys had been attending Kuoh, just in case her brother thought better of his current seat. "Good choice, bro!"

"Aww, what the hell, man?"

"You're giving up on the harem plan?!"

"Answer that question and you can return to the seat you started in, Ise-kun," Ayame remarked in a saccharine tone of voice that she had no real way of knowing was hauntingly similar to the one belonging to a certain pink toad.

Issei hesitated a moment, before asking her something that had been bugging him, "Aya-chan, do you remember Yuuma-chan?"

Ayame opened her mouth to respond, before immediately snapping it shut. Of course she remembered 'Yuuma-chan', but that wasn't really what he was asking. He was asking why no one else remembered Yuuma. After a moment's hesitation, Ayame responded with the words, "I've never been introduced to someone who would answer to that name."

She saw the horrified expression that appeared on Issei's face and added, "Issei, think about what I just said for a little while. It may mean more to you if you do."


Later that night, mostly because she was still frustrated at the fact that someone had seen fit to erase Yuuma's existence from the memories of the entire town's population, Ayame had decided to take a walk. It was during this walk that she encountered a scantily clad woman with electric blue hair, "This is rare. To meet someone like you, in a place like this…"

Ayame frowned at the woman. "I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you weren't sent here by Dumbledore or Mouldyshorts. So who sent you and how would I go about delivering your remains to them once I remove your head from your shoulders?"

"You can try you pathetic little Devil, but…."

"DIVIDE!" Albion roared as the White Dragon Emperor's wings materialized on her back and forcibly reduced this woman's already pitiful strength even further.

The woman blinked at this before exclaiming, "Oh, fuck no!" and flapping the previously concealed blackened angel wings on her back and trying, emphasis on 'try', to fly away.

Ayame sighed before flapping Albion's wings and instantly catching up to the woman, grabbing her and hurling her to the ground and flying down to the ground in time with her body, where upon she axe kicked the woman in the throat, snapping it in half. "What a waste of time."


Not far from where Ayame had just killed one Fallen Angel, another sat on a roof with a pair of binoculars, "Well shite, that wasn't part of the plan!"

This fallen was a blonde girl with a rather odd sense in fashion, or at least it would be considered odd when one considers the fact that despite looking about 10 or 12 years old, she was in reality nearly as old as the human species. She, along with the Fallen that Ayame had just killed, and two others, had been sent to this town in order to keep an eye on the Sacred Gear within Ayame's brother and prevent it from awakening. They hadn't been told that Ayame had a Sacred Gear of her own, even though they had been informed of the fact that she might be a Devil herself.

Naturally, the leader of this mission, a Fallen known as Raynare, had an ulterior motive and had decided that Issei was too great a risk to her own plans, so she had shifted their goals in regards to him from an observation mission, to an eradication task. The end results of their initial attempt at that had been one where he was still alive even after getting a Light Spear through the stomach, and therefore was considered an even greater risk to Raynare's long term plans.

They still had no idea what Sacred Gear Ayame's brother possessed, but… "That… that was Divine Dividing, fuck! We are so out of our depth!" The fact that Ayame was flying at speeds fast enough to be imperceptible to the naked eye proved that fact. Once she was certain that Ayame had not detected her presence, the fallen quickly left to report her discovery and the death of their comrade.


"Miki, is Ise still in his room?" Ayame's father seemingly bellowed at the top of his lungs, instantly rousing the poor girl from her slumber.

'Wut…?'

"Gorou, his shoes are in the entrance so he came home. Geez! Staying out so late and without word on where he was going! On top of that he's going to be late for school! That, I won't forgive!"

Ayame quickly looked at her alarm clock, which was a much more sensible alarm clock than the one which Issei had in his room, and frowned, 'While I admittedly overslept again, there is no way we'd be late if we got up now…'

Putting thoughts into action, Ayame began moving about her room getting together the things she'd need for a quick shower. Actual baths were more of a luxury she would enjoy right before going to bed, which wasn't that unusual in Japan. While gathering what she needed, she overheard the following:

"Wait! I'm already awake, I'll get up now!"

"Geez! I won't forgive you any more! We need to have a little talk about your behavior!"

Several seconds of silence passed after a bit of stomping on her mother's end, before her mother yelled out, "... GET READY QUICKLY!"

There was a loud slam as Ise's door was forcibly closed, and her mother all but cooed out "Ooooh! Otou-san!"

By this point Ayame had all but forgotten the shower, staring in shock at the door, as she tried to process what her brother might have done to get these sorts of reactions. She kept drawing a blank though, or at least she was until she heard her mother exclaim "Seeeee, Seeeex! Ise- did… With a foreigner!"

Grabbing her bathrobe and pulling it on around her, making sure it concealed everything before leaving her room, Ayame thundered down the hall as she made her way to the pervert's room. Slamming the door open, she took one look inside the room, saw that there was indeed a half-naked girl in the room. She only halted herself from hexing either of them when she noticed that the girl had blood red hair, and thus was Rias Gremory, the little sister to her King's husband. "Three…"

Issei gulped and immediately grabbed the nearest pair of boxer shorts before moving past Ayame to head off into the bathing room for this floor. Once they both heard the shower click on, Rias all but demanded "Who's your King?"

"You have no right to ask me that question. Not after the stunt you've been pulling with my brother over the course of this past week. If you truly wish to know who my King is, you'll have to wait until my King sees fit to introduce their full Peerage to you!" Ayame declared. "Now I believe you've made enough of a spectacle for one morning, I demand you leave… Don't worry, I'll make certain my brother visits your little clubhouse at the end of the day."

"Fine," Rias curtly replied. She didn't want to push matters, as even she knew she had dropped the ball on things by not introducing herself to Issei properly.

Once Rias had collected her clothes, and departed by way of teleportation circle, Ayame went down to the dining room, sat down and said, "Okaasan, Otousan, that girl was actually Grayfia-sama's sister-in-law, and…"

"Didn't you say her family are Naturists?" her father inquired in a kind tone of voice.

"Er...," Ayame hesitated hadn't been she had said at all. She had admitted that Sirzechs was rather eccentric, and judging by what happened this morning it wasn't hard to see that Rias was too. After a moment she decided, "What Rias-sama did this morning was not something I was expecting. Nor do I honestly believe that they actually had sex as Okaasan thought to be the case. Rias wouldn't have allowed that to happen given what I know of her, and Issei isn't the sort of person to force himself on a girl, even if his two numbskull friends would do just that if given the opportunity."

"He does seem to be absolutely skittish around women lately; I wonder why that is?" her mother inquired.

"I don't actually know what happened, but from what I gathered, Rias-sama saved his life from someone that was trying to hurt him. My guess was that it was that 'Yuuma' girl he's been asking about lately," Ayame informed her parents.

Ayame noticed right then and there, that her mother seemed to remember 'Yuuma' as her eyes had narrowed very slightly at the mention of the name. This was evidence towards the notion that whatever the Fallen did to erase everyone's memories, had been targeted towards those who the witches and wizards of Great Britain would refer to as 'Muggles', and thus had no effect on Hyoudou Miki. The woman was what Wizarding Britain referred to as a 'Squib,' and was in reality Ayame's paternal 1st Cousin, Once Removed, making Issei her paternal Second Cousin.

Issei didn't actually know they weren't brother and sister though, and none of the other members of his family wanted to tell him that. Ayame had been informed of such when she first started attending Mahoutokoro, and then rudely reminded of the matter when forced to participate in that demented tournament two years ago. About the only thing good to come out of that, was that she had met Luna Lovegood and become great friends with the girl; so much so in fact, that Luna had become Ayame's Contract Magician, which was really the only contract Ayame was currently responsible for overseeing.

Once her parents had the facts explained to them well enough, Ayame returned upstairs to await her turn in the shower. This was in her opinion a better solution to the entire encounter than what Rias would likely have done if left to her own devices. Messing with people's minds was just never a good long term solution.

xXx Chapter Concluded xXx

Author's Note: This story is written as a response to Whitetigerwolf's Devil Sibling's challenge, with the only change to that challenge I made being that Ayame is fully aware that her brother is a Devil right from the start. She will not however, be aware of what else he might happen to be, at least not immediately. Issei will however, be utterly clueless about his sister for a good long while, because let's face it, Rias likes keeping secrets as much as Dumbledore.

It should also be obvious that Ayame doesn't particularly like Rias, and anyone who has followed the series and understands what it means that Ayame can fly faster than the eye can perceive, would probably understand why she isn't fond of Rias.