I have a lot of mixed feelings about this, but yeesh, I know when I'm beat. Updates for "The Fantastic Mr. Walker" have been spotty and tend to take forever, so I started looking for a way to speed up the process. I found this online neural net called "Botnik," which you can train to write in different styles; I trained it on FMW and tested if it could write the remaining chapters for me.

Problem is, it learned to write a lot better than I do. Like, seriously. A lot. Even started improving the plot and everything. It would feel weird to have this sudden jump in quality in the middle, and I want the story to be at its best, so I've decided to just go ahead and let the program rewrite the whole dang fic.

It's going to be a lot of chapters to rewrite, but luckily the computer works fast!

So here we go.


It was pretty miserable on the other alien ship. Jay had enrobed himself in Cole's jealousy, which continued to creak and cry. Because it didn't satisfy the others, Cole had to lock everything down and make some breakfast. Kai grimaced at the paper for a moment.

"I don't think Zane can afford to be a Nindroid, " he said.

Zane blinked in silence.

The aliens were still locked in the kitchen cupboard in the middle of the night. They couldn't handle Earth food.

"So, why are you crazy?" asked Cole.

"Oh, yeah, that. Freehand accelerator with anxiety noises, " said Jay. Cole raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, okay..."

Suddenly there was a sudden rattling of the ship. Kai had started ascending the edge of the table, which gave way. He was falling and breathing hard as he walked, extending tiny strands of pinkish slime from his hands. The others exchanged pained looks.

"What is eating you?" asked Nya.

Kai chuckled.

"I don't even have a family."

Nya shook her head. "I don't count?"

"Well, no. You don't."

"So I can take your guts out with a pencil?" said Nya.

"Uh... Ow!"

Meanwhile, Meep boinged over his head furiously and began belaboring him.

Sensei Wu appeared in the sky just then. He looked considerably excited.

"Everyone in this story was a baby!" he shouted. "It's amazing!"

Nobody seemed very interested. Nya was still trying to pick a tiny window in her brother. Sensei Wu's eyes slid out of his head angrily.

"So I don't actually have your thoughts?" he whispered. "Then it's settled. Lloyd's head could be toxic."

The ninja looked up at him with some dismay.

"I'm not leaving the others!" said Lloyd.

"You know if you don't, they might gain impossible radiation or poison," sighed Wu. He was doing it to improve the ninja's intelligence.

Kai was still trying to get away from the washtub, which seemed to be getting antsy. Nya had made it too excited to find him.


It was about two minutes later that the Metalonian mafia sprouted from the floor.

"You guys will have to register for the scientific debate, because we can't just hang cuttlefish on your hair with the whole world looking!" they ordered.

The ninja judged the little houseguests with general frustration. Cole raised his voice to a hellish alternate scream.

"You think you can kill the fun of this ship? You don't know what I'm gonna do, and you don't want to!"

The group of intruders was getting sullen. Despite their intelligent clothes and books, they couldn't handle the ninja's spectacular metal hands. They wanted to get out of there, especially considering what happened to the others. Cole was not to be dissuaded, however. Without a second to brace, they were caught. Cole shook his hands heavenwards and tugged out his hair. The mafia groaned and rolled out of there meekly.

"What happened?" said Misako, unconscious.


Jay rolled over again, frozen in his own spite. He couldn't remember what he said to get the aliens on the couch. The aliens weren't able to climb up it. They couldn't move at all. Within minutes the Technicians were taking them. Jay was too distracted by osmosis to see this was escalating, and the aliens weren't able to get away. They'll probably never be coming back.

The Technicians finally defeated the ninja, slowly gyrating. Tendrils of icy glue and foaming fruity backpacks were already circling around Jay, looking at his hair. He looked puzzled by their inability to keep quiet, which seemed eerily familiar.

Finally Cole shook himself into space.

"Hey, maybe it's a bit of a mouthful, but I'm guessing they're harmless."

Jay refused to admit it. While he was trying to prove that they were really weird, Zane was already jumping off the ship and Kai was catching up to him. Lloyd's head, while of course shady, was still functioning. There was no way to check if he'd done anything unusual to the others with his poisonous body.

"Well," said Jay solemnly. "It's probably the other end of the line."

And with that he smashed into a wall and began dabbing.


A/N: Well, the computer has Jay's character down, at any rate. They all seem pretty accurate, though I'm a little ticked that it gave away why Lloyd's growing out his hair so early. Also a little surprised that it eliminated the aliens from the plot this fast, but I trust the process.

Heh. April Fool's? Best wishes from Jay, hope you could be happy today. ^_^

Botnik is a real thing, by the way! It's like the predictive text on smartphone keyboards, it guesses which words are likely to come next. You can go to their website and train the system on anything you like. It's good fun!

Hope you guys are staying safe and healthy out there. Hang tight, okay?