a/n: don't kill me…. Please…. I realise, oh my god it's been years since I've updated… holy canoli. Um... High school swept me away, what can I say? I know Phantom is half written and all, but I honestly can't find the motivation to write it. :(
From being addicted to so many Delena one shots/stories, I've been magically inspired to write my own. Hehe. This is during Stefan's little adventures with Klaus off into magical pixie land of happiness… and Rippers.
Also, Game of Thrones reference; I tried not to add any spoilers if you haven't watched the series yet. If you haven't, START. NOW.
And this time, unlike my Eragon stories, I'm not holding back on the smut. Muahah!
Viola!
Chapter 1: Skinny Love
Dear Diary,
This is horrible. I… I can't even begin to describe what's happened in the last three months. I'm shut down. Off. Gone. No more. I can't handle it…I need help. Soon. This pain is crushing me, and no matter how hard I try, no matter where I look, he will never come back…
Elena's hand paused, trembling as she stared off into space. Stars peeked through her curtains as the soft night breeze blew in through her drapes. Her body shook slightly, partly from the cold, partly from how much she was falling apart on the inside. Stefan had been gone for months now, and the stress was beginning to take its toll. Elena had lost ten pounds, her skin had lost some of its luster, and her eyes had a permanent, ancient sadness to them that threw all of her friends at school off guard. All of her friends besides Caroline and Bonnie that is. They knew.
"Delivery!" the smooth, teasing voice startled her out of yet another of her sad reveries, and her eyes narrowed up at sparkling, absolutely gorgeous, amazing… wait, no. These particular ice blue eyes could not be appealing. Elena was in mourning. Elena could not fall in lo— whoa there. Nope. Not even gonna think about it.
"Thanks for yet again, trying to stop my heart," she stuck out her tongue, but scooched over so Damon could bring the small box of pizza he was carrying down with a flourish and a winning smile. How could he always pretend to be so happy?
"I always try, darling." The casual endearment seemed to fall thoughtlessly from Damon's lips, but it sent her heart flipping with anxiety, unfortunately, the good kind of butterflies-and-gaga-eyes anxiety. God, she had to stop this behavior.
"Plain with half buffalo chicken?" she eyed him, trying to guess what he had surprised her with today, sniffing lightly to try and reaffirm her guess.
"Damn… your nose is good," he sighed, and Elena found herself grinning in triumph. Damon spread out napkins and handed her a paper plate on which he put a slice of plain and buffalo chicken.
"You know I'm not going to eat all this," she mumbled around her first bite as she ravenously tried to devour as much as she could before she lost her appetite.
"Mmmph mmmmunphh," Damon mocked her, making the sounds around his own bite of pizza. They looked at each other for a moment, and then fell into a heap of laughter. Elena felt her heart lighten considerably, and the tension in her shoulders finally let up a small bit. Observant as ever, Damon's quick eyes took in the small shoulder roll.
"Tense?" he asked, his eyes boring into hers. Elena could only nod. "Here…" Damon crawled towards her, which Elena's heart liked very much and decided to try and beat out of her rib cage to prove it. Elena's breathing hitched as Damon sat behind her, his warm breath caressing the back of her neck as his warm fingers began working her shoulders. She did her best not to make a sound, but when he hit a certain spot an unadulterated moan of pleasure came from her throat. She felt Damon tense up behind her, his fingers stilling only for a second. She couldn't imagine the look on his face, but she was sure it was full of longing and lust, much like hers was right then.
Damon finally finished working on her shoulders, Elena's head hanging limply as she tried to keep her moans soft, but to her mortification when he moved to the middle of her back she couldn't hold back, "Oh, Damon…"
Fuck.
She immediately clamped her mouth shut, noting how Damon's hands stilled completely this time. A thrill of shock sizzled through her as she felt a feather light kiss brush the back of her neck. It was hesitant, sweet, a thousand questions in that one simple gesture. Elena's heart throbbed, and the desires conflicting within her made her unable to move, until her conscience finally settled on one thing.
I need Damon.
As soon as she thought those words, she turned around, meeting the cautious ice blue eyes she had always been so mesmerized by, and leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
Damon thought his heart would have stopped if it were still beating.
A thousand emotions ran through him as her gentle, petal soft lips pressed against his. It was heaven, Hades, bliss, torture, life, death. He felt everything when she touched him. He held himself in check, unable to keep his hands from sliding to her waist to hold her there firmly but gently. He had waited for so long, wanted her for so long, had to stand back and watch his inadequate ass hat of a brother mistreat her for so fucking long, and now she was willingly coming into his arms.
Without her noticing, Damon moved his finger so his thumbnail bit into his forefinger, and he felt a sharp stab of pain. Yep, he was definitely awake.
Elena finally pulled back, slowly, gazing tenderly into his surprised eyes. Damon wanted to do a thousand things he couldn't decide on, so he decided to just sit and stare like an imbecile and wait for her to explain her behavior. Suddenly, he felt another shock as tears welled up in her eyes. Well fuck me, she regrets one little kiss… god damnit. Damon cursed himself for letting her get under his skin, until she curled up into his arms and nuzzled her face between his neck and shoulder, wrapping her arms tightly around him. Okay … weird. He gently probed her thoughts just to get a taste of her feelings, completely thrown off guard. He felt just a small bit of the waves of pain and loneliness that were buffeting her. Then he barely picked up the softest of sobs only his vampire hearing could have caught, and he tightened his arms around her.
"Shh… Elena, it's okay. I know… I know…" he murmured succor, being her steady rock as he always has as she tried to get a hold of her emotions. He knew she was still in the process of giving up hope that Stefan would ever return to normal, and he knew from personal experience letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do. Ever. For real. So he waited, he comforted, and he held her, hoping she would remember this when making her decision in weeks or months to start dating again. If she took years, he might have needed a stake in the heart right then and there.
"I'm sorry Damon…" she finally hiccupped. "I know this is harder for you… he's your brother," her voice was soft, sympathetic, and he couldn't help but wonder just how big her heart was, that amid the sorrow wracking her heart she could still find time to worry about him.
"This isn't the first time," he reminded her softly. "You just haven't been alive long enough to see it. Problem is…." He hesitated, but Elena's hand tightening on his shirt made him continue. "This time Lexi isn't here to kick his ass back into place… and for that, I can only blame myself," he said, only slightly bitter. If he hadn't been such a dick Lexi could be beating Stefan's ass coast to coast getting him back to normal.
"No, Damon… don't beat yourself up... No one saw this coming," Elena almost crooned, shocking Damon yet again by brushing some of the hair out of his face. He wasn't used to her showering small affections on him and he was completely unbalanced because of it.
"Well, with my amazing talent for foresight, even this sinfully gorgeous vampire should have suspected Stefan would fling himself off the proverbial wagon someday…" he drawled, finally extracting a small giggle and eye roll from her.
"Elena?" Damon cursed under his breath as Bonnie's voice drifted from below, and he moved away to the other side of Elena's bed just as the door opened.
"Hey El— oh," Bonnie stopped short when she saw Damon. Her eyes flickered to Elena, who Damon could hear give a soft laugh.
"We're just having pizza night, wanna join?" No, don't join. You don't want to join. Joining is not fun. Say. No. Damon tried not to (openly) glare at Bonnie, who acquiesced, and sat down next to Elena. They chatted about school nonsense and other mundane shit that Damon's old mind had grown quite tired of over the years, so he tuned them out, only slightly paying attention in case either of them asked a question.
"I have to go," he said finally, stepping lithely off Elena's bed. He smiled at the two, grabbing their used plates, and left the room almost faster than they could process, but not fast enough so that he didn't see the look of slightly hurt shock on Elena's face. No, he wouldn't lie when admitting it sent a thrill of triumph through him. She so cared.
Another time, Lovely, Damon sighed to himself, and got into his Ferrari, speeding back to the boarding house.
Elena sat heavily in her desk, desperately wanting to make it through the last hour of the school day so she could be free to think of other things. Mondays just sucked. She yawned, rubbing the circles under her eyes in an attempt to… she didn't even know what that would do but it felt good. After an agonizing forty minutes, Elena sprang up with renewed energy and briskly walked to dump what books she didn't need in her locker, and pick up the ones she did. All of the sudden the hair on the back of her neck prickled and she whirled around, fear and panic automatically flooding through her system as a myriad of possible enemies flew through her mind— all to be washed away by blissful relief as her eyes met glacier blue.
"My, my, a bit edgy, no?" Damon smirked, leaning an arm on the locker beside her so she was partly surrounded by him. She futilely fought the warmth she knew was spreading pink across her cheek bones (and she wouldn't admit— between her thighs,) and tried to breathe normally. Inhale… exhale… inhale… sweet lord he looks good today…
"Well, try having the Original vampire after you for a year amidst other eager blood drinking crazies that want to appease said Original by capturing you, and then talk to me," she shot back sassily, pleased that her nervousness at his proximity didn't affect her speech. This time.
"True, true," Damon sighed, and Elena was much too pleased to see the concern for her that flashed through his eyes. She needed to stop thinking like this…
Feeling like she was resisting an addiction, she chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to think. "So… is there anything special you wanted to do today? Or shall we just… hang out…?" she began suggestively, trying to see if he really wanted to spend time with her today. Satisfaction she very firmly denied swept through her when he looked pleased, but his cocky mask quickly covered up.
An easy, much too tantalizing smirk pulled up the side of his mouth. "Well, unfortunately I had no extraordinary plans, but there is an entire season of Game of Thrones in my home that is just begging to be watched…" Damon grinned as he saw the childish, innocent excitement flare in her eyes and she actually wiggled in excitement. How embarrassing, Elena thought, mortified. She slammed her locker closed, hitched her purse higher on her shoulder, and grabbed his hand, practically dragging him through the hallway to the senior parking lot.
"We're gonna watch them in order, right? I looove the Starks, Jon Snow is my favourite, he's so sexy and it sucks that he took the oath but whatever… I always feel bad because he's the bastard and Lady Stark hates him, but it's really Ned's fault, and ohmygod aren't the White Walkers scary? Also, I really, really hate the Lannisters, well, except for Tyrion because he's just such a boss and he's so smart and hilarious, although he's really such an ass, kinda like you but— wait no that's not a bad thing! He's funny... No, really! Oh! And Daenerys. I loove her soo, so much, isn't her brother such a creep though? Ohmygod her and Drogo are sooo cute! And what is with the Baratheons? Joffrey needs to be punched in the face so fricken hard I just can't even begin…" she kept up a constant stream of babble as she dragged him to his car, since she walked to school and hers wasn't there.
People openly gawked at the two of them as Elena slid in to the passenger seat, keeping up the light chatting as Damon drove them to the boarding house. Damon wanted to mention that he was fairly certain his ears were bleeding, but since he was trying to win this girl over, he decided it would be counterproductive to the ends he was trying to reach. Once they were settled in the den with a large bowl of popcorn and iced tea, (blood and scotch, in Damon's case,) they started watching the long anticipated episodes of Game of Thrones.
Damon could hardly concentrate.
No, scratch that, he couldn't. Elena was cuddled against his side, and all he wanted was to push her down and feel up the curves of her body, tasting the warm, slick sweetness between her thighs… He shook himself mentally of the thoughts. Starks. Right. Winter is coming, blah blah blah… Elena let out a soft sigh, burrowing deeper against his side, one of her hands straying dangerously close to his groin— he assumed it was by accident. A part of him hoped other wise, but the blood rushing south was making it very, very hard to think. All he wanted was for her hand to move up, unbutton his jeans and slip inside…
Fuck. These thoughts were making him hot and his jeans were starting to feel much too tight. Restraint, Damon… Restraint… he practically chanted to himself. Fuck. He listened to her breathing… nope, she was definitely awake. Damn this woman. Damon tried to casually shift so her hand wasn't so close to his groin, but it backfired when she looked up at him, her deep brown eyes captivating him, quite literally. He couldn't have looked away if he tried.
"Is there something wrong?" she asked, obviously not realizing how much she was torturing him. Damon gave her his signature lopsided smile and shook his head, and she settled back down, her arm moving up to make a pillow under her head. Thank god… Damon breathed an inward sigh of relief, and rested a hand comfortably on her warm back. He could feel her heartbeat fluttering against his fingertips, which only served to distract him yet again.
I love you… he thought longingly, wishing he could stay like this with her for the rest of his existence. I'll always love you, Elena… Damon wanted so badly to whisper these words in her ear, but every little reason he couldn't fucking held him back. Eventually her breathing deepened and evened out, and he knew she had fallen asleep. It warmed him to think she was so comfortable with him that she could trust him to not… rip out her throat or something. Although he wouldn't mind a tiny little nip…
105 things for a vampire alone with a sleeping, defenseless human to not think about…
Elena's fingers twitched in her sleep, and as time moved on a few more of her limbs would twitch here or there. Her brow was furrowed, and she looked very anxious. Damon smoothed a lock of her gorgeous mahogany hair out of her face, and leaned down to place a small kiss on the top of her hair. She squirmed, and blinked open her eyes. Damn it… I didn't want to wake you, love, Damon's eyes widened when she pushed him down so he was lying flat on the couch.
"Elena?" he said softly, confused by this behaviour. Not to mention the scenarios flashing through his head were making him fucking hot.
"This is more comfortable," she smiled, and Damon convinced himself he was biased in thinking her smile was a little too sensual. Was she sleep-flirting? Was there such a thing? He never got to ponder those questions as Elena settled down on top of him, curling her arms around him as she nuzzled into his chest. Damon had to suppress yet another sigh, but this time it was more on the disappointment side. Honestly, he would be gung ho for a night of crazy wild monkey sex with Elena— what with those gorgeous curves and those voluptuous lips… back to his point, he was well aware she was still very much in love with his ass-bucket-former-saint-brother. Why did she love that dead beat anyways? He couldn't settle down for shit. He was either the Ripper, or the sickeningly pathetic little bitch that went crawling around on his belly eating Thumper and other cute, innocent wood creatures, and he was an idiot to boot. At least Damon did the world a favour when he killed. Overpopulation and such…
His inner monologue was abruptly broken when Elena's knee shifted so it was pressed against his groin.
"Fuck…" Damon hissed quietly, trying to quiet his breathing and vainly try to suppress the lust flooding through him like a monsoon. Elena's fingernails scratched his chest, and Damon furiously listened to her heart rate and breathing. The little vixen was asleep and apparently dreaming a few things that were making her act like a sex deprived teenager…
Which is exactly what she is…the cocky mini Damon on Damon's left shoulder smirked.
She's in love with your brother, dude, plus, this would kind of constitute as rape…the nicer, more mature Damon added.
You love her more. Take what's fucking yours, man. Remind her which brother is better for her. Do you really want to leave her to the pussy that might turn savage and rip her sexy ass body apart? Not to mention you're madly in love with her… Cocky Damon said pointedly, and Nicer Damon begrudgingly agreed but with a string of conditions and scenarios that had to happen first.
Okay, I should stop talking to mysel— sweet mother of FUCK! Elena had turned her head and bitten his pec not-too-gently. Damon managed to half suppress a strangled moan, his hands gripping her waist as he tried to remain still and quiet.
"I can't do this…" he half whispered, trying to shift her gently off of him. Elena subconsciously gripped tighter, making it quite impossible.
"You… will be… the death… of me…" Damon gritted his teeth, his hips slightly gyrating in time with hers as she started to move. Oh god… Elena… In his head Damon imagined rushing her upstairs and pushing her onto the bed, ripping off her clothes and making passionate love to her, but his body remained semi-immobile.
"Dae-…m'n…" Elena sighed softly. Damon almost died. He literally thought he would have a myocardial infarction, and leave this world on cloud fucking nine. Realising that was also impossible didn't help either.
"Damon?" Elena's voice made Damon's eyes dart down to hers, meeting her questioning gaze. "You okay?" she looked confused, the innocent fucking seductress…
"Interesting dream?" by the strain in his voice, it was obvious Elena realised what had transpired, and red flooded across her cheeks. The scent of blood wafting over Damon almost pushed him over the edge, but he held on with his fingertips, determined not to force himself on her whether her dreaming self wanted him or not.
"Oh… I… um…" Elena almost fell off the couch in her attempt to move away. "I have to go to the bathroom… be right back," she mumbled half incoherently, and quickly darted away. Damon paused the DVD, and sat there in silence wishing he had a stake handy. Or at least the sun. She was determined to always keep him on the goddamn edge, giving him a taste of what could be, but never actually deliver.
"Fucking tease…" he muttered darkly, moving to the kitchen to heat up the blood in his one glass. He heard the toilet flush upstairs, and let his mind wander to scenarios of rather risqué shower sex with Elena. The microwave beep brought him out of his daydreaming, and he sauntered back to the den, determined to stop this game between them once and for all.
He arrived while she was still walking towards the top of the stairs, and he sat on one end of the couch farthest from her drinks and food. As she came into view, he flashed a winning smile at her, just to keep her off balanced, and was pleased to see the pink quickly return to her cheeks, along with her eye roll specially reserved for him. She stepped over his ankles and sat next to him, pulling her drinks and food over in front of her.
Well, damn. Maybe… Damon stopped himself before he could get his hopes up about anything. She was lonely and depressed about her "sun and fucking stars" being gone and obviously just wanted company. Even if she was just using Damon until her useless lover came home, he wouldn't let her draw him too far in. No way was he making that mistake. She had to outright claim she wanted him before he did anything.
But she kissed you… his conscience whispered, and he grimaced. Yeah, she did. She also pity-kissed him when he was half dead from the dick of a flea bag's bite, but apparently that didn't count in Elena's Book of Love Encounters.
Elena was trying her best not to be too affectionate towards Damon, but it was so difficult. She felt… something for him. She could at least admit that. There was something between them, but it was becoming harder and harder to hold onto the idea that Stefan would come back. (Of course there was the new fact that she lost control yesterday and kissed him… her heart still gave a little flip when she thought of it…) Damon was here for her. Damon would never leave her. Damon knew her inside and out, took care of her, and loved her— it was obvious. Elena was finding it harder to deny the reciprocation of that, and that was what scared her. Falling in love with Damon.
Damon pressed play, and she was glad for the distraction, but being near Damon still took a toll on her. She caught herself watching him from the corner of her eyes, greedily taking in his shape and lax posture. He was so damn confident in himself, and that was strangely very… sexy, to her. She couldn't even bother to deny that. He was completely comfortable with who and what he is, and it was attractive. Yes, his ego could be a little— no, really annoying, but that was Damon. She loved him in spite of, and partially because of that, what others would consider a fault. Wait. What? Love? Uh uh. No. Nope. She totally did not just think the L-word. Nope.
When the first episode ended, Elena slowly realised she was holding Damon's hand with a death grip, and a few tears had leaked out of her eyes. She took a deep breath to steady herself, and gave him a sheepish smile.
"I get a little emotional," she mumbled, and he surprised her by not making a wise crack. He just smiled lightly and gave a little nod.
"Did you want to launch into the second one? Or shall we wait?" Elena thought for a moment, and then decided they should wait. She was under enough emotional stress without being worried by her attachment to the characters in the series.
"I'll drive you home…" he began, but Elena pulled him back to the couch.
"Jenna isn't going to be home tonight… and… Klaus…" she gulped, not wanting to admit she was scared to death about sleeping alone in her house tonight.
"What about Jeremy?" Damon cocked an eyebrow, and Elena avoided his sharp gaze as it raked over her features.
"He's staying at a friend's house near Bonnie, so he'll only be a call away from a witch," Elena smiled at Damon. He nodded, and stood up, pulling her with him.
"I'll get the guest room ready, I think we have toothbrushes and stuff you can use," he winked, and was gone. Elena blinked, picking up the popcorn bowl and taking it to the kitchen. A small part of her wondered what it would like to be to sleep in Damon's bed…
She stifled those thoughts immediately, knowing very well those fantasies it would bring. She had only indulged her imagination a few times, musing about what it would be like to be Damon's, and it always left her in a rather… tormented state.
Humming to herself, she turned and bumped her nose against a hard chest, stumbling back in shock. A strong hand caught her, and she was spun into Damon's embrace.
"Damon!" she growled, slapping his well toned bicep— a fact that was not lost on her. "You need to stop sneaking up on me. I'm going to have a heart attack one of these days and you'll be depressed and cynical forever like Stefan." As soon as she said the words, her eyes popped open and her hand clamped over her mouth. Damon leaned back, his eyebrows shooting up as he looked at her in amused shock.
"Damn, Elena, tell us how you really feel!" he laughed lightly, seemingly to take her horrible statement as a joke, but Elena was scouring her head for the reason why she said it. The only thing that came to her was that… well, honestly, it was kind of the truth. All Stefan really did was sulk, even after he met Elena. He always found a reason to sulk, whereas Damon was… not necessarily stronger… just… more able to deal, she guessed.
"Shut up, Damon," she muttered, dragging him with her as she stomped upstairs, determined not to let him torment her because of her rash remark. She didn't take it back, but she regretted ever saying it. Especially in front of Damon, of all people.
Damon seemed much, much chipper now; he was even humming a song that sounded suspiciously like it was from "The Lion King."
Damon led her to a door that was right next to his, making her sigh internally. Of course he would pick the one closest to his room, and farthest from his brother's. Not that she minded, because the last thing she needed were painful reminders of Stefan. She stepped inside, unable to hold in the gasp of surprise. The room was absolutely elegant. Rich mahogany Victorian style furniture filled the room, dominated in the center by a king sized four poster bed, with rich crimson covers with spindly gold designs floating across the fabric. On the far side were two large glass doors that opened up to a lovely balcony with a lounge chair perfect for reading in the afternoon or evening. Another door showed a sliver of what looked to be an expansive bathroom, all newly renovated, yet still retaining the grace and splendour of the Victorian décor.
"Damon…" she breathed, trailing a hand over the bed coverings, wishing with all of her heart this could be her room. She looked to the left at a wall that held a large painting of the Tuscan countryside, and heard a soft breath of movement, looking back to see Damon sprawled comfortably across her bed. She scowled at him, crossing her arms.
"You have your own amazing bedroom, let me admire this one." He only grinned.
"But with me in the picture, it's even more amazing," he winked, his eyes gleaming mischievously.
"Watch out, any more and your big head might explode," she bit back, the edge taken off of her words by her slightly amused tone and teasing expression in her eyes, but she didn't deny Damon's statemtn— a fact definitely not lost on him. Damon motioned her over, but she just shook her head, walking over to the bathroom.
"What I would do to be this rich…" she muttered jealously, allowing herself to have a shallow moment. The bathroom was absolutely huge, complete with a giant jacuzzi and an elegant shower.
"Shall I inscribe your name above the door?" Damon offered, completely serious but managed to slip a teasing tone into his voice.
"Yes," Elena admitted, giggling slightly as she returned to the bedroom part.
"Sorry about the sharing showers, part…" Damon started, but frowned when a small choking noise came from Elena. "What?"
"Sharing… showers? Um… huh?" Elena gaped, trying to suppress the inner demon-Elena that purred with lust at all of the naughty scenarios that could entail.
"Yeah… why the blush, Elena?" Damon taunted, his cock obviously on the same train of thought he could tell Elena was.
"N…nothing. I just… you can't barge in on me!" She bit out, trying to deny how heated her body had become. Shit. Shit. Shit. His vampire senses could definitely hear her heart stuttering, and she desperately willed herself to calm down. When was the last time you had sex? Oh, right. Over six, maybe seven months ago. The evil part of Elena egged her on, and Elena could barely stutter "Left stuff… stairs…" before she practically sprinted out of the room and pounded down the stairs. She could have sworn she heard a bark of laughter float down, but she went straight to the kitchen pacing furiously.
Okay. Damon was sleeping right next door to her. And they were sharing a shower. How bad could that be?
Very, very bad.
