Alright, guys. So this has been in my head for a LONG time, and hopefully, I can manage to dazzle you guys with what I have to offer. Granted, I do get distracted easily, and school with be a factor to eventually put in as I continue my work (and other works) so I might have a delay. Plus, I've been working on some other things sprinkled here and there, so don't get too impatient (like how I do sometimes) and be sure to put your reviews in the comments section if you have any theories or juicy critiques that happen to be good.

Just so you know, I might be a little sloppy on this, and some of the characters might be out of character as I continue working on this and who can blame me? Nobody has ever thought of how this would work, nor did anybody really attempt it other than some mega crossovers and fanart. Well, until I came along and gave you guys this masterpiece, which has been thought out for over a YEAR, maybe even longer or a little bit shorter, I cannot remember. Either way, I hope that hasn't dragged on for long, and I'm ready to present my work.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my newest work by the time I have published this chapter. I give you the first ever Touhou/Rick and Morty crossover on this site. It's gonna be a hell of a ride, trust me. By the structure of the upcoming chapter, you'll get the idea of how this is going to be set up, so without further ado, let's begin, my friends.


Episode 01: The Adventure Begins, Folks!

"Look, I know I've been talking about this time and time again, and I feel quite stupid sometimes, but I love talking to you two, and besides, this tale was one that I grew up with…" As the soft, female voice spoke up, the black background gave way to a white canvas, where an old paintbrush began to paint a picture of an oriental landscape, with flowing rivers, tall grass, and cherry blossom trees.

"Mom, I remember when you told that story to me: a legend passed down to you from your mother, and her mother before that, starting with the first one. I mean, Nintendo was yet to be founded, and I cannot fathom a world where it doesn't exist, I grew up with it!" Nothing was painted, leading to a quiet laugh from the young teenage girl's voice as she realized what she was saying. "Sorry, I happen to be rather fanatic when it comes to their games, I must admit."

"Anyways, I remember that you told those stories to me: stories about Shinto mythology. Granted, I did love the story about that eight-headed dragon, pretty interesting read if I say so myself. I also heard stories of myths and legends about my ancestors through your side of the family…" The paintbrush painted a black line across the canvas and drew on both sides. On one, it showed a powerful warrior confronting an eight-headed dragon, and on the other side, it showed a girl in a miko outfit, fighting a wild beast in the distance.

"…as well as playing the games as well. Well, you know what video games are, it helped make that mythology sound interesting to me, but it's still just a bunch of tall tales." Beyond the canvas, the owner of the voice sat on a table, drawing some pictures on her pad. She smiled as she looked at her drawing, and placed it down with the others as she looked at two graves, each telling the names of those who died.

Katasura Hakurei Nogato Sanchez [1978-2009]

Johnathan Thomas Sanchez [1974-2009]

The girl in question was around sixteen, having a lovely mat of long, black hair going past her shoulders, with her sidelocks being held together by some red and white hair tubes. Her face was adorned for pretty red rubies on her eyes and an assortment of freckles going across her nose and cheeks. The girl's attire was casual, consisting of a red jacket over a white T-shirt, some jeans, and a pair of red and white sneakers. On her hair, a rather prized ribbon with ornate patterns sat, the lower parts of which blew in the cool autumn breeze that came about.

The young girl calmly looked towards the gifts she had prepared and handed them to the graves, letting out a sad smile as she placed roses on the graves of her parents. "Mom, Dad, it's been four years since you died, and life really has not been the same since then. Auntie Beth and Jerry argue a lot, Summer texts on her phone, and Morty, he was a pretty good guy, but something about him made me feel uncomfortable…"

After a short pause, the girl shook her head and spoke again. "Regardless, I know that you aren't able to talk to me in the state you are in, and these cookies would be eaten by pigeons, but this really helps me a lot. Plus, I know that you would have a lot to say, you're my parents, after all."

She looked towards the watch, seeing that it reached six 'o clock. "Welp, it's about time. Beth is most likely cooking dinner by now. See ya later!" And with that, she grabbed her drawings and put them in her binder, making sure to line them up neatly. After putting the stuff she desired into her backpack, she grabbed her bicycle and went to the road back home. Fortunately, only a few blocks separated the cemetery from the Smith residence, so she would be able to arrive by the time Beth finished cooking dinner.

Being sure to keep her bike nearby as she walked, she went through the small shopping area with various stores and the occasional restaurant, feeling the cold fall wind blow upon her, being broken up by the crowds of people that walked around the area while rerouted by cars being driven across the road. The outskirts of Seattle were so homely for the girl, and she's gone through this route numerous times. Still, it didn't take any more than a minute to get to the suburbs, where she immediately went on her bicycle and rode across the sidewalk, making sure nobody was in the way as she rode past the various houses.

That was, until she found the right one: a simple, one-story house with a brick foundation, white stucco walls, and a brown shingled roof. There was a second story on the right side, but that was about it for the floor. It wasn't fancy or over-the-top, but it had been her home since her parents died in that accident. Ah well, she still had a roof over her head and food on the table, nothing too bad to worry about.

Opening the door, she smelled the scent of food, which made her stomach growl for more. She quickly put the bike outside on its rack, and happily skipped towards the kitchen, to which she saw her closest living relatives, the Smith family, all on the dinner table as her Aunt Beth served the food. "Finally, I'm here! And just in time, too!" the girl said, looking at the piping hot bowls of spaghetti being served on the table.

"Reimu, why are you late!?" Jerry asked, receiving a glare from Reimu.

"Lay off her, Jerry. She told me she was going to talk to her parents." Beth replied.

"Well, she's crazy 'cause they're obviously-"

"Jerry, don't." Reimu said. "You don't get it. It's a therapeutic thing I do every season. If you listened during our first visit at the local cemetery, then you would already know why I still talk to them." At first, she might seem like an innocent girl who can't truly hate anyone, but even she knows there are expectations. For Jerry, she was too far away to say that she actually hated him, he was more of an annoyance, especially since she had caught him breaking into her room in an attempt to bond with her, but she cares for him for the sake of her cousins and on occasion, her aunt.

"Eh, I don't care either way." an orange-haired teen who was the same age as Reimu said, vacantly looking at them before resuming looking at her cell phone. Reimu sighed. For Summer, their relation was rather neutral. Neither side paid much attention, though Reimu did hope for time to talk and bond with her.

"Well, what's so important about the cemetery?" a brown-haired boy asked. Reimu couldn't help but to have a slight giggle at the boy. Unlike with Jerry, she could give her cousin a pass due to his age, but that doesn't mean that she could get annoyed or even mad at his panicking and exaggerations when it came too far. Fortunately, that is a rare occurrence and he doesn't really pay that much attention to much. But then again, he was at summer school during the time they were at the cemetery, all bark and no bite.

"I knew I should've explained, so why didn't I?" she asked, looking at the bowl and noticing her stomach growl. "Ah well, no point in thinking about it on an empty stomach." Reimu let out a giggle as she sat down on her seat, twirled her fork around the noodles, and took a big bite out of the spaghetti, letting out a smile as the savory taste was pressed against her tongue. "Mmm. This… this is really good! Man, where's Grampa Rick, anyway?"

Beth sighed. "He's probably off towards another adventure, you know how he is…"

"Yeah…" Reimu said. It had been so sudden back then, and while it had been a year since Rick Sanchez returned to his daughter's household, she could remember the reunion. It was, bittersweet, to say the least. Sure, she loved having a mad scientist for a grandfather, but the guy was rather… drunk, and combined with the fact that he had been missing for around twenty years, give or take a few months, shrouded him in even more mystery, and she was wondering how he was and what he was doing. Nonetheless, Rick is her grandfather, and for all she knew, the guy must have had a really painful experience that caused him to drink and ultimately abandon his family.

Dinner itself was pretty good, and they exchanged conversations and short stories as they ate, but the spaghetti and meatballs were all licked clean, especially in Reimu's case, and that garlic bread certainly helped in filling up her formerly hungry belly. They immediately went towards watching a movie after that, and an old favorite, too. It was nothing fancy, just Space Jam, which was really fun in Reimu's mind, but all the fun and games had to end a few hours into the cold fall night. After taking a shower, putting on a white tank top and red pajama bottoms, and brushing her teeth and hair, it would be time to hit the hay.

Her room was not the biggest, though it wasn't the smallest, either. It was rather well-furnished, with not just a big bed with a red comforter, but also a bookshelf containing several good reads, a desk with a computer on it, and a ceiling with a small fan that could be turned on and off with a switch. Oh, the light can go for the night, but the fan itself can keep her room cool as she fell fast asleep, her expression content and peaceful.

However, it was not meant to be.

Reimu's eyes bolted open when she heard Morty's door open, and she heard some drunken rambling from the other side of the wall. "Yup. It's him, alright, and another episode. Great…" she sleepily muttered as she got up. Again, it was one of those episodes where he was blackout drunk from all his sorrows. She saw Rick literally drag Morty away for some kind of weird adventure off on another planet.

However, she knew that she had to do something about it. Slipping her feet into a pair of bunny slippers, she walked out of the room, and saw Morty being dragged by none other than him. Spiky blue hair with a unibrow, the white labcoat over his sweater and khakis, the pungent scent of alcohol and depression whenever he was drunk to the point where he can't even think straight. Oh how she hated it while he was drunk. And he looked straight at her. "Oh, R-*urp*-Reimu, no time, long see. *urp* M-Morty and I are gonna go, just be right back…"

As he drunkenly rambled, Reimu saw Morty look at her. "Please do something!" he pleaded.

Reimu nodded and decided to go after them. Past the hallway, through the kitchen, and they soon found themselves in the garage where, to both of their surprises, a saucer-shaped vehicle in the middle of the garage. Fortunately, Morty's foot had finally been allowed to go back on the ground again. "I cannot believe it…" Reimu said. Ever since Rick had moved into their lives, he set up shop in the garage, and he was looking at her.

"Woah, woah, R-*urp*-r-*urp*-Reimu? What the hell are you d-*urp*-oing here? Whatever, it doesn't matterer right about n-now… Time is fleeting, hurry, c-come on, hurry now." He grabbed them both by their ears, ignoring their sense of shock as they were shoved into the back of the vehicle, to which he activated.

It was all so sudden, and she felt a slight sense of fear and regret, thinking that it would blow up, but the vehicle lifted up into the air, it was like magic! Despite the slight bumps on the way, it was fully functional. Already, she could see the city down below, and even downtown with its famous Space Needle in the distance. At this point, Rick's drunken rants turned on again. "What… what do you think of this flying vehicle, kids…" he wheezed, spilling some of the alcohol from his bottle. "I built it out of stuff I found in the garage."

Reimu looked on, and a smile formed on her face. "Wow! To think you built it out of some random junk that just lay about for who knows why… It's incredible, I can't believe that this is happening!" She nearly squealed in joy as she looked on at the surroundings. "I've only been this high on an airplane, but this is something else entirely!"

She looked towards her cousin, who was honestly pretty depressed. "Yeah, that's great, Reimu. I'm glad you love the whole thing…" he said. "Is it really the surprise though?"

"Kiss… kids… I had to… I had to do it. I had- I had to- I had to make a bomb."

"What!? A bomb?" Morty asked.

"What the hell!?" Reimu asked, all the joy and love was instantaneously replaced with shock and disgust. "Don't tell me you pooped your pants on the way h-"

"It's not that kind of bomb, dumbasses!" Rick interrupted before taking a sip from his alcohol. "Sorry… Grampa's needing this little… I had to create a… n-neutrino bomb. I'm gonna drop it on the world and make a whole new start."

"What!?" both teenagers said in unision.

"We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, guys, it…" Rick paused for a moment to take a drink from his bottle before spilling it on Morty's shirt, causing him to look and fear, and for Reimu to reel back to make sure he does not have anything planned for her. "C-come on, come on, take it… take it easy… take a new start… Right now, you two need to do the thing, you two get to be… Adam and Eve."

"WHAT!?"

After that last bit of dialogue, they both exchanged uneasy glances. "What? No, no, no! I-I've had dreams of having girls and boobies beside me, but this is crazy!"

Reimu looked back at Rick. "Grampa, I know that you're not in the right head, but there's no way that inbreeding can save the human race during a catastrophe! And besides, it's just plain ridiculous!"

Rick looked at them. "Y-you're… that's the… you're right, R-Reimu. That will endanger humankind. I have to pick some handsome guy up for you. I was never going to do it, okay! The… the inbred stuff, you know?"

Reimu raised an eyebrow. "You really need some help, huh?"

"N-no… Morty gets Jessica…" he said.

Morty's eyes widened. "Wha, whaa?"

"A couple later… that, that's the surprise, kids… surprise, surprise…" After a few of Rick's uneasy burps, he pressed a button on the main control panel, causing a weird red light to flash. Reimu looked at Morty with a worried glance, and he did the same as a robotic voice rang out.

ARMING NEUTRINO BOMB...

At those words, Morty immediately sprung up and shoved his leg into Rick. "That's it… that's it, Rick. I'm taking the wheel right now!"

Reimu looked as the two began to fight over the wheel. She pulled herself into fetal position, hoping that the night-inevitable disaster would not strike. As far as she knew, fighting with a drunk driver was bound to have a car crash sooner than later, and with a neutrino bomb, it would spell absolute disaster. However, what happened was the opposite of what she expected. "Alright. I'll- I'll land. I'll land. I'll land. I'll land the thing. I'll land the thing. Big tough guy all of a sudden." As if by a miracle, he agreed to land.

Again, as if by a miracle, they landed without a scratch, yet with Rick falling down, being cushioned by several empty bottles with the occasional drop of alcohol, she wondered how he was still alive. "We'll park it right here, kids. Right here on the side of the ree… road here…"

Reimu took a look at their surroundings, noticing the cactus, mesas, and miles of sand. "I think you went a teensy bit off on the road, Grampa." she said, looking at the obvious desert in the background.

Rick's drunken slurs weren't over, it seemed. "Y-you know what, this was all a test, Morty! Just an elaborate test I made t-to make you more assertive."

"It was?" Morty asked, clearly not getting it. Reimu, on the other hand, only sighed. Rick's blackout drunk fits were almost always destructive, and nobody could think straight when drunk, not even her grandfather.

"Sure? Why not, kids? I don't, I don't know, kids. Y-you know what-" Before Rick could talk even more, he instantly fell fast asleep on a mountain of bottles and liquor, letting out a loud snore as he did so.

NEUTRINO BOMB ARMED,


"…and that was what happened last night. It was a really crazy time." Reimu said, talking about what had happened the previous day. "Fortunately, the bomb was a dud, and once I found out, I immediately fell back asleep. The next thing that I knew, I was at my room like nothing had happened. Shame about Morty, though. He was nearly exhausted, and he even lay his head on his breakfast, bless his heart." Reimu closed her locker before looking back at the person that she was telling her story to. "Pretty weird story, huh?"

The person she was talking to was a young girl around her age, one with pretty red eyes and short, brown hair tied up in a short ponytail by a red scrunchie, wearing a pink skirt, a white blouse and some brown shoes. "Gee, I think you have been reading too many science-fiction novels, Reimu. I'm glad I met you when I was transferred here, and you have a wild imagination, and I know people would've loved to hear it, but it's not the best thought to let it get into your head."

"Sarah, I'm not joking, nor have I read an excessive amount of sci-fi." Reimu said. "He's been there for about a year by now, and he started dragging my cousin along with him, wherever he went. Jerry and Aunt Beth somehow get along with it just fine, mainly because the latter missed him so much that she did everything in her power to make sure that he stayed with her. The guy's been gone from her life for twenty years, after all. It's rather complicated."

Sarah looked at Reimu and took a deep breath. "Well, that explains why you've aced every test of yours." A small smile spread across her face. "Seriously, you've done very good at… everything! Math, biology, anatomy, social studies, language arts, economics, you name it! I haven't seen anyone like you!"

Reimu couldn't help but giggle at that. "Thanks, Sarah. I guess I should get going, though. I don't want to be late for- OH GEEZ, NOT HIM!" The two froze to see that Morty was being bullied by none other than the black-haired, black-jacketed buffoon himself, Frank Paliky. Both Sarah and Reimu looked at one another, and were just about to stop him from cutting Morty with a knife when suddenly, a portal opened.

Sarah looked in shock as a figure in a lab coat came out. "Wow, so the stories really are true! I just thought that Morty was just some… well…" Before she could speak any further, she noticed that Rick pulled out a gun and froze the school bully right in his tracks.

To say it plainly, she, Reimu, and Morty were shocked out of their minds. "What the!?"

"Goodness!" Reimu commented.

"Oh geez, R-Rick! What did you do to Frank!" Morty yelled, obviously being the most freaked out of the bunch, still staring at the frozen form of Frank Paliky right before his eyes.

"Isn't it obvious? I froze him!" Rick said, crossing his arms before looking at Reimu and Sarah. "And yes, yes, I know that you would've done it yourselves, b-but look, you could've caused some serious trouble!"

"Easy for you to say." Reimu replied.

"I'm well aware. Anyway, I need Morty's help. W-w-we gotta get the hell out of here and *urp* go take care of business. It's really important. Come on, Morty."

"I don't know, Rick. I can't leave school again." Morty begged.

"He does have a point, you know." Reimu added.

"Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there? What do you think, I can do this all by myself? Come on, Morty!" Rick demanded.

This time, Morty gave in. "Alright, I guess I can go skip history."

Before they could leave, Reimu stepped forward. "Fine, but I'm going with you two."

"What?" Sarah asked. "Y-you can't be thinking about… that!"

Reimu put a hand on Sarah's shoulder. "Look, my cousin has been through a lot ever since Grampa Rick came into our lives a year ago. I think I should do him a favor and make sure he doesn't get hurt. Besides, I'm not planning to leave you out in the dust forever. It's time I should be making sure they don't get into any trouble."

Sarah nodded. "Alright, if you say so. Be safe, Reimu."

Both exchanged a hug, and before Reimu left, she spoke once more. "Thanks. You guys are all really good friends to be around. Stay safe, stay happy, and have a little fun, will ya?"

Sarah nodded. "Alright, I won't let you down."

As Reimu nodded, Rick spoke up. "Well, now that that's over with, are you-"

"Yes. I'm coming. I was just having a little talk, that's all."

"Alright, come on, let's go." He shot open a portal, and dragged Morty in.

Reimu looked on, and decided to follow them inside. What lay beyond the portal was something that turned out to be wildly different than what she had experienced before. It was the craziest thing she saw so far. A vast yellow sky was above their heads, and an alien landscape consisting of blue grasslands, whimsical, tree-like foliage, and circular ponds that dotted the landscape. In the background, she could see a city in the distance, as well as two planets that were near the one she was on. Truly, it was amazing.

"Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?" Morty said. On the other hand, looked anxious and stressed out as usual. Can't she blame him? Even before Rick showed up and took him in on adventures, he was more or less the same.

"It's Dimension 35-C." Rick explained.

"Wow! It's so cool!" Reimu replied, looking at her surroundings. "I never saw anything like it before! Didn't I tell you that it's beautiful as well!?"

Rick sighed. "Alright, I could give you a pass since this is your first time in other realms. Anyway, this version of Earth has the perfect climate for a-a-a special type of tree, called a 'Mega Tree', and there's fruits in those trees, and has seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about the 'Mega Seeds' Th-They're incredibly powerful, and I need them for my research." As they were walking, Reimu could see a sea of crystals nearby, and looked in excitement.

"The name needs work, but seriously, this is wonderful!"

"Oh, man, you two. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety. R-R-Reimu, shouldn't you be feeling a bit anxious?" Morty said.

"Why would you ever think that!? Well, why would I think of that, anyway." Reimu said, correcting herself.

Soon enough, Rick knelt right beside the two, more so towards Morty. "Alright, alright, I get it. Listen to me, kids. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people." He then looked directly at his grandson, Morty, staring directly into his eyes. "I-I mean, I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be…"

Before he could say anything more, they looked behind to see a gigantic, predatory insect-like alien with a multitude of eyes and a monstrous mouth chasing them. "HOLY CRAP, KIDS! RUN, GO, NOW!" At that knowledge, Reimu went with a full burst, with Morty not too far before. "I've never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We gotta get out of here, kids! WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

It took a while, but fortunately, they were able to get away from the alien thanks to some quick thinking. Reimu took a few deep breaths, recovering from that last sprint. "Wow… that was… that was pretty scary. But hey, at least we lived through it." she said.

As they walked across the alien world, Reimu's fascination went back, but this time, she was cautious and looked out in case any more aliens showed up. All the while, Rick was talking to Morty. "Oh, Morty, take a deep breath. Breathe that breathe that fresh air in, Morty. Y-you smell that? That's the smell of adventure, Morty. That's that's the smell of-of-of-of a whole different evolutionary timeline. I-I-I mean, look at your cousin, she likes it."

"All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't we be back at school by now?" Morty complained.

Reimu facepalmed. "You were going about it non-stop since he first dragged us into this place! Well, I came along to make sure you were safe, anyway." She sighed. "Well, at least we are still alive. I just hope we don't run into any more of these things."

"A-a-are you kidding me? Aren't you the slightest bit scared?"

At this point, she couldn't help but laugh. "Well, yes, I was. But here I am, and I'm not complaining about every little problem that goes around in the world just because I don't agree with my mad scientist of a grandfather."

Morty tried to object, but Rick spoke up. "You know, your cousin has a point, you should stop bitching around for no apparent reason, and just enjoy the adventure. I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there." Everyone turned to see a weird… thing. Reimu couldn't help but reel in disgust, looking at its grotesque physique as it did whatever it was doing. "What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school?" When Morty tried to close his eyes, Rick forcibly opened them so he would look at the alien. "Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing."

"Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave."

At this point, the girl couldn't help but shake her head. Is he really that mediocre? Before she could continue on with her thoughts, Rick spoke up. "Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, Reimu, do you two see this?"

As Rick shoved Morty into the view, Reimu walked up and looked in awe. Beyond the cliffside, she could easily see a whole forest full of the alien equivalent of trees. "Are those… they are the Mega Trees, huh?"

"That's right, Reimu!" Rick praised.

"Eh, nothing much. Your reaction to the forest told me everything." Reimu answered with a simple shrug.

"The mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about, kids. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school." Rick ranted, pointing towards Morty at that last part.

"Alright, I get it. I wouldn't really say that I'm in love with school. It's just too easy for me." Reimu took a quick look down the cliff, and a thought came to her mind. "Quick question. How are we going to get down there?"

Rick handed out a pair of shoes. "Alright, take your shoes off and put these on. These *urp*, they-they're special grappling shoes that I invented. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, kids. Up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together." He pulls out another two pairs. "I always keep some spares, just in case."

Reimu whistled, but then noticed that Morty was about to walk off. "Wait, we-" However, he didn't listen as he fell straight off the cliff, and broke several bones in his body. "-don't know how to… turn them… on…"

"You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on!" Quickly pushing a button on the boots, Rick walked down the cliff, somehow sticking towards the surface with ease. Sighing, Reimu mimicked Rick's actions and turned on her shoes, walking down the cliff. She wasn't wanting to jump to see what happens, though.

Once she did go towards Morty, she and Rick inspected the damage. "What were you thinking? Just because you wear something doesn't mean you instantly have the effect." Reimu scolded. "Well, it might, but I wanted to know how they worked before having any ideas."

"I'm in a lot of pain, you guys!" Morty pleaded.

"Alright, we can see that." Reimu said. She looked at Rick. "Well, we need to help him somehow! I know that he got himself into this, but we can't just leave him there, and he certainly can't help us in this state!"

"Okay, hold on just a second, guys."

"Wait! No!" Reimu yelled as Rick grabbed a portal gun and ran off. She stared at the spot where the portal was for a few short seconds, no sound at all but Morty's yells and screams in pain. Before she could think about it further, another portal opened, and Rick came out with a syringe filled with a strange pink liquid. He ran up towards Morty, and injected the liquid into the boy, which repaired his broken bones with ease. "What in the hell?"

"I know, but this is good! It felt surprisingly… pleasant. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you." Morty said, doing some hops on his legs.

Reimu looked at him. "Be sure not to hit it too hard, but don't worry. I'll be getting those fruit for you."

"Wow, thank you." Morty said.

As Reimu got up the tree, being sure to activate her boots before hand, Rick was busy explaining what that serum was and where he was. "Well, not that you asked, kids, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place."

"Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick." Morty said.

Meanwhile, from her spot on the trees, Reimu picked out the fattest, juiciest fruit she could find. "Yeah, I totally agree with what you said. A world like that has to have made some serious advancements."

"Yeah, but nothing's perfect, there was one problem! The dimension I visited was so advanced that *urp* they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there, it was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, kids, and they-they-they— they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left, Morty. It's got no charge left."

As Reimu got off the tree, she and Morty had a look of shock on their faces. "WHAT!?"

Reimu looked towards Rick. "It's got no charge, but there seriously has to be SOMETHING! You're a genius, can't you just make some more portal fluid from scratch or something!?"

"Oh, I wish it was that simple, Reimu." Rick admitted. "However, there is a way. It's just… it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so Morty over here will have to do a solid for us."

"Wait, what?" Morty asked with a shocked look on his face.

"Yeah, you heard me, Morty." Rick said as he took the fruit from Reimu and opened it, revealing the large, foot-sized seeds in all their glory. "Because you were so whiny and fucked up, YOU will have to do the dirty work. When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty."

"What the hell? In his BUTT!?" Reimu asked. "Are you serious!?"

"Yeah. Dead serious." Rick said. "And for very good reasons. I-I-I mean, I'd do them myself, but they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, a-a-and you two are *urp* so young. Besides, I picked Morty because of how whiny he was and that he kept bitching all the way! Plus, his broken legs were the reason my portal gun is out of charge!"

Reimu gave off a look of slight anger. "It's cruel, I know, but thinking about it, but I'll buy your reasons."


Meanwhile, back at the high school, Beth and Jerry were talking to the school's principal, a bald man with a light blue shirt, khakis, brown shoes, and a blue tie. The man was known as Gene Vagina, which, despite his last name, he clearly has a certain something hanging down between his legs. Plus, he denies the reference. "…the fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months."

At this point, Beth was shocked. "What? Why didn't you notify us?"

"I've been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather?"

At this point, Jerry felt confident that he was right. "Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child!" His boast turned into contemplation shortly after. "Wait, what am I celebrating?"

Gene couldn't help to agree on that part. "Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school." They suddenly stopped to see a strange thing: Summer and a few other students crying over an obituary that they made for the school bully.

"Summer!" Beth called out, though her teenage daughter ignored her and continued to cry.

"What kind of God lets this happen?" she pleaded.

"We had a little incident. A student was frozen to death." Gene couldn't help but chuckle. "And there's no evidence that a Latino student did it! Everyone wants to take this to a racial place. I won't let them. Besides, I've recently found that he's been taking a fascination with your niece, Reimu."

"Beth, your drunk father's gotten to her, too! She has all A's on her math test, and now, she is unable to work through any more assignments!" Jerry pleaded.

Beth couldn't help but to roll her eyes. "That has been around before Dad showed up, Jerry!"

"Well, family aside, Jerry was right about her getting all A's." Before Jerry could boast about how he was right, Gene continued his lecture. "However, it is not a bad thing, no. Sure, she's been rather lazy and somewhat snarky from time to time, but she's still the innocent little girl that I first saw walk in, and not to mention, a brilliant one! Reimu's not just an ordinary student, that you know. She's basically a genius!"

While Jerry was still making a fuss, Beth couldn't help but to feel impressed and slightly jealous. Reimu might not look like she's inherited much from Rick, given her Japanese ancestry manifested in her looks, but she did inherit a lot from her grandfather, most notably his intelligence. Even as a child, before her parents died, she had a great gift that people could only dream of. When she was one, she could easily count from one to one hundred without even messing up the slightest, and when she was two, subtraction and addition were no problem.

Oh, sure Jerry could blame her grandfather for all of that, but Beth was still rational. Before Jerry got her pregnant on prom night, she researched in the fields of science to become a surgeon. Well, she became a horse surgeon due to the little incident. Nonetheless, she had something to ask. "So, what's the catch?"

Gene only chuckled. "Beth, your niece has been this school's greatest student since you came around. She is far smarter than even our most experienced teachers. Lazy, yes, but still, she's got a lot of potential! She's excelled at math the moment she started, and passed with flying colors every time! Science, social studies, they're all basically no different. I mean, look!"

Gene rummaged through his desk, and he found a set of records, passing them to Beth, who grabbed them and began reading the contents as a look of shock, amazement, and slight jealousy spread across her face. "Are those… she really did it, din't she?"

"Yes. These are records of her experience. This test, for example, was one of the hardest and longest standardized tests we could throw at our students, and she managed to perfect it, through and through! Granted, she has not attended classes or even worked as much, but perhaps this is because we've thrown everything at her, even science projects that should've taken months to figure out! I-i-i-in fact, she shouldn't be here! At this point, she should be attending college and w-working to get a doctorate or a PH.D. or something! Seeing her records, I can tell you that Reimu Sanchez has a bright future ahead of her!"

At this point, Gene's breath became ragged, and he had to take a few deep breaths. Meanwhile, Beth and Jerry were utterly silent at the ordeal. Well, she is Rick's granddaughter, but unlike Morty and Summer, she's also inherited a vast intellectual potential. Jerry only had one thing to say, though. "What the fuck?"


Meanwhile, our three heroes have already made it to Intergalactic Customs. Well, the building that contained the vast network reminiscent of an airport, anyway. Already, Rick and Reimu were standing in a line, with the latter bearing a nervous look on her face. She saw an alien walk by, and it said something to her. "Sorry, sorry. I'm new here and I do not want to get eaten!"

At this point, Rick put a hand over her. "Shh. Be careful with some of these guys. You're lucky that is just a Snoozle you just talked to. If it was a Frozzle, then you'd be in big trouble."

"I do not understand what any of those two are…" Reimu admitted. "I'm really scared, though…"

Rick just sighed. "Trust me, I've seen things that are way scarier than bureaucracy. Despite that, however, the whole thing still gets on my nerves. I can't abide bureaucracy. I don't like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation." At this point, Morty came out of the alien bathroom with his hands by his butt and a scared, painful expression plastered onto his face. "Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?"

Morty nodded at this. "Yeah, Rick. Let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy. They hurt."

Reimu winced in pain, but Rick only smiled. "That means they're good ones. You're a good kid, Morty. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-*urp*-all kinds of things with them. It's gonna be great, kids. A-*urp*-all kinds of science."

At this point, they made it towards the checking area, where a large, humanoid bug with a green carapace and red compound eyes stood guard, holding a gun between its talons. Already, Reimu could feel herself shiver in fear and disgust at that thing. "Next." it, or he (it sounded like a he) said, allowing the alien before them to go through.

Before they can go, the guard saw Morty and Reimu and stopped them. "Except you two, you go over there."

At this point, Reimu immediately knew what was going to happen, yet she stayed silent, not wanting to face whatever punishment they have. "Why do they have to go over there?" Rick asked.

"Random check. Individuals that haven't matured to adults got to go through the new machine." he said.

"Uh oh…" Reimu whispered.

"What new-*urp* what new machine?" Rick asked with a slight tinge of fear, yet he crossed his arms together and masked it with a look of irritation.

"It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt."

At this point, Rick knew that their cover was blown and grabbed their shirts. "Run, kids, run!"

Before the Gromflomite could catch them, Reimu instinctually punched him in the eye, knocking him unconscious as they passed through. "Get away from me, you gross bug!"

As they went through, the alarm system was triggered, and several Gromflomites began chasing them. She could feel her adrenaline kicking in as they ran through what looked like a cloning vat. She could see that Rick was pushing over one of the vats to slow them down, and let out a slight smile before going to the task at hand. They dodged the various obstacles in their way, such as food carts, random passengers, and whatever else was out there.

While they were running, Morty accidentally inhaled something that a random alien was presumably smoking through whatever machination it was. Soon enough, Morty coughed up a little green blob that sprouted legs and started running alongside them. Soon afterwards, it became humanoid and sprouted, arms, eyes, and a mouth as it started to let out a short yell and grow to Rick's height before growing old and suddenly dying. "Eep!" Reimu yelped.

"Don't think about it!" Rick demanded, pushing them away from the corpse.

At this point, the doorways were going into emergency lockdown. Looking at her feet, Reimu remembered that they still had the grappling shoes on. Casually turning them on, she began walking up the wall. "Come on!" she said, gesturing for them to go along.

"Wow! Good work! The student becomes the teacher!"

They ran onto the walls when Reimu noticed another particular feature. "They have wings!?" At this, she simply sighed as they ran across the pipe. She looked to see Rick jumping from his spot on the pipe and grabbing onto an object that presumably holds luggage. With a leap of faith, Reimu grabbed onto Rick's labcoat, while Morty followed en suite and grabbed his cousin's legs. They were like this for a while, but Rick found that he was losing his grip. The next thing that they knew, they landed on the remains of a now-dead alien before following Rick towards their destination.

"Goodness! We're cornered!" Reimu said.

"Actually, weren't not." Rick said, gesturing towards the portal. "I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, kids. Cover me!" At this point, he handed guns to Reimu and Morty, pointing towards the Gromflomites.

Reimu nodded, and with a sad, regretful expression, she began to pull the trigger, shooting a Gromflomite square in the right leg, causing him to fall over. "Aaaaah! My leg is shot off!"

"Glenn's bleeding to death! Someone call his wife and children!"

Meanwhile, Morty was hesitant and somewhat sad, and looked towards Rick. "Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody." he pleaded, hoping Rick would listen.

"They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots!" Rick yelled.

Morty looked towards the Gromflomites, and then back at Rick. "They're not robots, Rick! Look at them! I-I-I'm not gonna shoot them! They have wives and-"

"I-I'm well aware of that! It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them." Rick said, furiously typing on the keyboard as Reimu continued shooting them off. "Just keep shooting, Reimu! You have no idea what prison is fucking like here!"

"Do I look like I want to know?" Reimu said back before shooting her gun, scoring another kill. "Hey, I'm actually pretty good at this…" she admitted before accidentally shooting a fleeing bystander. "Okay, maybe not that good…"

Soon enough, the blue portal turned green, and Rick grabbed the two by their hands. "Come on, kids! We got to get the hell out of here!" With lightning-fast reflexes, he ran into the portal just as it closed behind them, landing right in the lunchroom and on one of the tables.

Reimu looked out to see Sarah, along with two of their other friends around, the first of which had green hair and wore a blue outfit, and the second one had blonde hair and wore a white and green outfit. On the other side, an orange-haired girl wearing a blue and magenta outfit sat, and both Reimu and Morty recognized her very well. That was Jessica, one of the high school's most well-recognized students (and Morty's personal crush) and lover of Brad. "Wow. Did you three just come into the cafeteria through a portal?"

Reimu nodded as she got off of the table. Fortunately, none of the lunches were crushed by their fall, so they didn't have to worry about laundry. "Yep. It's as clear as glass." she admitted.

"Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my-my Ferrari's in the shop." Morty chuckled, attempting to flirt with Jessica. Reimu rolled her eyes at that as he nervously laughed. "Just kidding."

"You're Morty, right?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah." At this point, she was well aware of Morty's crush. Granted, she had a few crushes of her own, but they were not meant to last. Some of them were lost due to a mistake she made, another few just didn't really have any feelings for them. Some day, she will have a proper date, some day!

Before she could think of anything else, she heard someone clear his throat. All three turned to see Jerry, Beth, and Gene Vagina staring right back at them with an angered look in each of them, and in Gene's case, a slight sense of amazement towards Reimu. "Oh, look, honey. It's our son with Albert Ein-douche." Jerry said menacingly.

"What?" Beth asked.

"I'm an angry father, not an improviser." Jerry replied.

Rick responded with a sheepish look as he looked at Morty. "Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, Morty! What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your-your parents and I are very disappointed in-in this behavior…" Only angry glares and an annoyed and confused Reimu responded. "What? No takers?"

At this point, Reimu could only facepalm at her grandfather. "Nope. None taken." She looked over towards Gene as her mind flashed back to the various mistakes she made. "Let me guess? You're mad at me for something I did?"

At this point, Gene's eyes softened as his gaze turned towards Reimu. "Oh, heavens no. While you did have your little pushovers and whatnot, it's not in your academic performance. You are a very intelligent kid, Reimu. Well, you are sixteen, so you're a teenager. Due to your performance at high school, I'm starting to think you should graduate and start studying at college!"

At this point, everyone in the room was shocked, save for Gene, Beth, and Jerry. "Wait, what?"


It took a while, but after some brief explaining, some tearful goodbyes, and a bit of other stuff, Reimu found herself back home. However, when she came into the garage, she sighed. Rick and Morty were in there, and Beth and Jerry were busy boxing out his stuff and putting it into a moving truck. "What the hell's happening?"

"I know, right." Rick responded, receiving a glare from Reimu. Shaking his head, Rick focused his attention to the two angry parents taking his stuff. "You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It's beyond your reasoning."

"You're beyond our reasoning!" Jerry barked, causing Reimu to facepalm.

"It takes one to know one." Rick replied plainly.

"Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school?" Beth reasoned. "I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's."

"What are you guys doing with my stuff?" Rick asked, ignoring the question entirely.

"We're moving you to a nursing home." Beth answered plainly.

"A nursing home? What are… What are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun." Rick stated.

"Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the Boy Scouts every Christmas." Jerry said in an angered manner.

"Really? Just because you send Grampa Rick to a nursing home does not mean he'll quit science, and I seriously doubt that you'll be rid of him for good." Reimu said as she walked towards the group. "Besides, what do you even mean?"

"It's personal." Jerry said, causing Reimu to facepalm once more. "Besides, why are you helping HIM!?"

"I'm not helping him. I've seen what he is capable of first hand, even if it is for a day." Reimu said plainly.

"Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all." Morty said, bursting into the conversation.

At this point, Jerry turned his attention toward his son. "Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own."

"What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?" Rick asked, wanting answers.

"Oh, don't high-road us, Dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes." Beth said.

"I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can, can, can you be a little bit more specific?" Rick asked.

"Oh, for crying out—he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?" Jerry replied.

"I do?" Morty asked.

"Well, duh doy, son." Jerry said, crouching up to Morty's eye level in a fatherly fashion. "Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you gotta work twice as hard."

"Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once." Morty said.

Through the duration of the conversation, Reimu was busy looking at the cards she had on deck, looking for the right one to play… metaphorically speaking, that is. The young girl knew that Rick would continue dragging Morty onto a bunch of crazy adventures regardless, which would establish a deep divide between him and his family, with Morty himself being dragged in the middle. After Morty's remark, she reached a verdict.

"In that case, I'll go with him." Reimu said, bringing shock to everyone in the room. "Yeah, you heard me. I've decided that I will be going on Grampa Rick's adventures in his stead… to keep him safe."

"What, are you nuts!? You were legitimately scared back there! There was no denying it!" Morty said.

"Yes, I was." Reimu replied. "But seeing you in this scenario. You were right out of your element. I don't care if you are learning-disabled or not. If it makes you better, I'll be taking your place so you can still have school. Besides, I haven't decided on college yet, so I won't have much to worry about."

Rick looked at Reimu, and then at Morty, and then back to Beth and Jerry. "You know what? She has a point. With her in the picture, Morty can now go to school again without my intervention."

Beth looked towards Rick and sighed. "Dad, you've been missing from my life for twenty years, so I'm going to give you another chance, but will you promise not to take Morty out of school?"

"Alright, I promise. Besides, I've seen their performances, and I'm still a reasonable man." Rick said.

"Thanks, Dad. You can stay." Beth said, kissing her father on the cheek as Jerry looked towards Reimu and Morty with a grossed-out expression on his face, receiving a glare from the former, which caused him to nervously walk out of the garage and into the main household.

"Are you serious, you guys? N-no more crazy adventures? I-I can go to school again, can't I?" Morty asked, hoping that this was all true and not some sick nightmare in disguise.

Rick shook his head. "Yep, we're dead serious. I'm not going to take you on those hard adventures. I'll be able to take you on the easy ones, but that's really it. Bes-*urp*-ides, I have to keep Jerry off my back somehow, so you're free to go."

Suddenly, Summer ran in with a tearful expression on her face. "Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!"

"No idea what you're talking about." Rick said, allowing Summer to run towards her room.

"Well, that happened." Reimu commented, but not before noticing something. "Grampa, do you think that it's about time we should get those seeds out of him?"

"Full disclosure, we're way too late on that one." Rick said. "If you have one of those seeds in you, you'll be granted temporary superintelligence until they wear off. Once they do, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for around seventy two hours…"

"WHAT!?" Reimu asked, looking towards Morty in fear.

Rick looked towards one of the many wristwatches. "Starting right… now!"

The moment Rick said this, Morty immediately lost consciousness. "Ohh, man. Oh, geez! Ohh." He dropped down to the ground and moaned uncontrollably, letting out a few laughs as he went through a seizure.

Reimu looked on in horror, but not before Rick grabbed her by the arm. "Wha? What!?"

"Who? What? Where? Why!? Those are the questions to be asked!" Rick stated. "When I was your age, I wondered what was out there for so long as I tinkered with basic science. I-I-I needed those seeds to get Beth and Jerry off of my back to get Morty on adventures, but with you, the series jumped the shark in a great way, Reimu!"

At this point, Reimu could only sigh.

"I always thought a Morty would be a good sidekick, but after seeing how he performed, I immediately knew that he was not the one to be, not the one to accompany me! I'm sorry, it's a bummer. He's as dumb as they can be, and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up to keep Beth and Jerry off my back, but with you, I've picked the right sidekick to go on even more adventures o-*urp*-on! And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Reimu, and you'll have to keep your mouth shut about it, 'cause the world… no, the UNIVERSE is full of people who don't understand it, and they'll tear us apart just to get our knowledge! But if you stick with me, we're gonna do some great things, just you and me, Reimu, and you're gonna be a part of them! We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Reimu! Just you and me, Reimu! The outside world is our enemy, Reimu! We're the only friends we've got, Reimu!"

"My God…" Reimu whispered.

"'My God' is right! When people look at us, they're gonna be like 'Wow, is that Rick and Reimu?', and we'll say yes because that's who we are! Rick and Reimu, forever, a hundred years more! Ten seasons, perhaps more, perhaps a lot or a little less, but one thing's for certain! We'll go on all kinds of adventures, you and I! Rick and Reimu, forever and ever more! Unlimited entertainment for those eighteen years and older, 'cause we aren't whitewashing history! Make no mistake, things will be tough, but I know you'll stick with me, and great things will happen! It's Rick and Reimu, a hundred years forever more! And forever more, we will be going on all kinds of adventures! Easy ones, hard ones, ones where the world is upside down, you'll name it! And with you at my side, I will do great things! Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every year from now, we will be the unstoppable duo! It's just Rick and Reimu!. Rick and Reimu and their adventures, Reimu. Rick and Reimu forever and forever. Reimus!things. Me and Rick and Reimu running around, and Rick and Reimu time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Reimu forever a hundred times. Over and over, . All 100 years. Every minute, ."

It took a while, but the insane rant was finished, and Reimu could only sigh. "Alright, Grampa. I'm well aware of what you're trying to say, but could you at least cure Morty?"

Rick looked towards Morty's seizure-induced form and nodded. "Alright, I'm gonna go, but know this, Reimu. This will not be the first time he'll be dragged into our adventures. I am keeping to my end of the bargain, but make no mistake: someone or something will happen to pass by, and well… you get the idea."

"Of course." Reimu said, walking out of the room as Rick continued with his work. At once, she immediately rushed towards her room to get some rest. Taking her turtleneck and shoes off, she immediately lay on bed to look at the ceiling above her. Okay, that was some day she had. She had just accepted to replace her cousin as the sidekick in her grandfather's crazy adventures, so that was something. She had to rest for now, there's no telling what he will drag her in on the next adventure. One thing was clear, however.

"What did I drag myself into?"


And that's all for this chapter! Ever since I became familiar with Touhou Project, I've been wanting to cross it over with another favorite of mine: Rick & Morty. Yes, I know it seems bland and boring, retelling the original story with an additional character, but ol' Reimu is not the only one.

It's gonna be tough, I know, mostly because of how I set it up. In this timeline, Yukari failed her goal of creating the Great Hakurei Barrier, Gensokyo is a well-known metropolis, youkai have been reduced to nothing but mere myth and legend, and the Hakurei Shrine was destroyed and the place it occupied was now filled with apartments or some other thing. And for Reimu herself, if you actually read this chapter and not just skimmed through it like you've got a train to catch, then it would be clear as ice that she is biologically related to Rick Sanchez, being his granddaughter much like Morty and Summer, being their cousin rather than just another Smith child.

Personality-wise, she would lie a bit closer to her canonical self, being a sweet, kind-hearted girl who is quite good at making friends, though it would be dimmed a bit due to all the constant adventures with Rick hardening her up as the story progresses, but she's still not going to be surly and greedy like most renditions of Reimu throughout the fandom. Her kind-hearted nature would still shine sometimes, though the way she thinks will be more rational and thoughtful than Morty, but she will still make mistakes every now and then, and she can still be stern from time to time.

Oh, and for the youkai, well, their fate remains questionable. On one hand, youkai literally cannot live in a world driven by science, but on the other hand, Rick and Morty have encountered magic before, so youkai could make an appearance, but they might not. With this version of Reimu being born and raised in the United States rather than Japan, it'll be a bit tricky on how I will implement them into the show, but I am definetly planning on certain Touhou characters to be appearing alongside Reimu, most of which are human, of course, but there will be a few supernatural characters who will be joining in on the fun.

Well, you might be wondering how Yukari could've possibly failed her mission, how Gensokyo was never shielded from the outside world. I might be spoiling things, but not even the Lunarians were safe, the fate of their empire is yet to be revealed, but most of them died. Why? How? Well…

YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT, MY FRIENDS...

Anyway, don't forget to have a good time! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! See ya then, folks!