"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" Ren gasped pointing to the baby on the table. The same baby he had just put in her crib.
"I don't know!" Catherine groaned lifting their child off the open books. "Mummy needs to study, please go back to sleep for the love of God!"
"What were we thinking?" Ren looked at his fiancee and daughter in desperation. "We're seventeen..."
Ren Granger and Catherine Kirk, graduated top of their class and admitted to Oxford Pre-Med. No one saw this coming, least of all them.
Catherine was a first-generation Brit, and as the daughter of Jamaican immigrants, Desmond and Rose Kirk, she often felt the pressure to succeed. Since she was twelve she wanted to be a brain surgeon, and she had worked her way to it. Cat waited tables at her parents' restaurant, earned not one, but three scholarships. Everything she worked so hard for wasn't going to be thrown away by some stupid mistake at their year-eleven-ball.
Ren loved his daughter, of course he loved his daughter. How could he not? But he felt the same as his fiancee. He wanted to be a surgeon. Sure, he wanted children with Catherine someday, but it was clear Hermione would not be with them had they not missed the train to the clinic. They had changed their minds then and there, but there was no way to know if they made the right decision. He thought about his own mother's disappointment.
Like Catherine, Hana was a first-generation Londoner, her mother a Japanese immigrant and her father a Korean immigrant. Something that she would never let him forget. They risked everything not just to move to London, but to be together given the environment at the time. Hana felt immense pressure to succeed but never managed to be more than a secretary with the Londoner. His father, Hugo, being both white and London-born, never faced the same barriers, but he matched his wife's vigour in setting up Ren's future.
He imagined their disappointment and a knot formed in his stomach. He had worked so hard, how could he have mucked it up so completely? It'd been a long time, perhaps his parents had calmed down. Perhaps hers did too. They had a teleporting baby, he wanted support from someone who wouldn't call them crazy. Between school and Hermione, he couldn't remember the last time either of them slept through the night.
"When's your exam, Cat?"
She ran a hand through her thick brown curls and fixed her red-rimmed brown eyes on him. Her usually sienna skin paled and her bloodless lips wore thin from repeated chewing. The beautiful, vibrant and brilliant Cat he fell in love with had become a shadow of her former self. He knew he was not much better.
"Tomorrow," she sighed. "At nine o'clock. Though I won't be able to study if you don't finish that thought"
"Cat," he took the baby and kissed Cat's forehead. "I don't know...I love our daughter, and I love you. I just...I don't know."
"I don't know either..." she sobbed. "I wish I did! I thought I could do it all! I just want...No, I can do this!"
"We can do this. I don't have any exams, I can take care of her tomorrow. Get some rest."
"Okay... wait, is she cold?" Catherine touched her cheek.
"I don't know," he felt her other cheek. "She is a bit chilly. I'll take her to A&E tomorrow if she's still cold."
"Shouldn't we take her in now?" Cat bit her lip.
"The doctor said she's fine two days ago, Cat," he said, feeling as uncertain as Cat looked. "We don't want them thinking we're just paranoid young patents."
"And if it's serious?"
"Jesus, I don't know, Cat! I just...maybe we should...I" a knot formed in the back of his throat. "I don't know what to do..."
"Okay," Catherine inhaled sharply with unconvincing confidence. "You're probably right. Let's put her to bed then get some sleep ourselves."
Catherine couldn't sleep. Did she know everything that would be on her exam? What if she failed? She imagined crawling back to her parents with her mixed baby in her arms. She knew her mother didn't care, but her father had a more complicated relationship, she could blame Caribbean colourism for that. But they both would care that she was a failure. She imagined her days working in the Jamaican BBQ while Ren worked at his grandparent's Korean Take-away. Their lives would be miserable, a complete disaster. And Hermione's wouldn't be any better. How could she do anything for her baby if she couldn't fix her own life? She had to fix her own life...somehow, some way.
Hermione...Catherine should have took her to A&E...She was cold. Christ, she nearly died twice after she was born. Her little blue baby girl, barely breathing and brought into the world three months before she should have. They said it was a miracle Catherine could carry the pregnancy at all when she herself was in such poor health. But who had time to be in good health? Catherine's fate, no Catherine's family's fate rested in her not only becoming a neurosurgeon, but in her graduating top of her class. All the slurs, all the abuse her parents took, all the hardship Ren faced would then be worth it. There was no time for Catherine to care for herself.
But what good was she to her family dead?
Catherine took the few easy steps from her side of the bed to peer into their daughter's crib. To her relief, the strange teleporting bushy-haired child laid there, covered in more blankets than she remembered putting her to bed with. Her large brown eyes stared up at her expectantly. Much to Catherine's chagrin, Hermione had her very thick and curly medium brown hair, which at the moment seemed as big as her. She had her eye colour, a warm medium brown, but she had Ren's beautiful eye shape, double-lidded almond shapes on high cheek-bones that turned up at the corners. If she was happy to see Hermione inherited anything from her, it was her long eye-lashes. Her eyes would be stunning, if nothing else.
Are you honestly judging your baby on her appearance? Catherine rolled her eyes and reached down to touch her daughter. Her cheek, despite her blankets was still cold. Not the frigid chill that she had the first time they rushed her to hospital, but not as warm as she thought she should be. She decided to make herself a coffee and check back in on her. Ren had a point, the A&E doctors seemed to attribute think Hermione would recover, the pale cast to her skin would go away, her breathing was better, to the point that she cried as much as coughed now. They said colic was normal, and the cough would go away with the medicine. They were frustrated with the sleepless teen parents, and one even had the gall to suggest Catherine take a year off, she was still young after all.
If that was the way they wanted it, fine. She would make a coffee and study. If she finished her review of the peripheral nervous system and Hermione was still cold, Catherine would take her then.
She lit a candle to read by as not to wake Ren, the small one-room apartment was not ideal for their completing schedules. She put on the electric kettle and turned to the small round table that, like the rest of their furniture (with the exception of the crib), had a tenancy longer than their own. Where was her book? She left it open the table. She knew it!Where the hell...
Ren! He had a nasty habit of putting her things away when she wasn't done with them. There was a particular order to her disorganised mess, she knew where everything was, even if she couldn't explain it. But Ren had internalised his mother's desire for cleanliness, even to the detriment of their lives. She huffed a sigh and turned to the area where they had kept their bed. And she found her book...in Hermione's crib.
"How are you doing this?" she cried. "What do you want?"
"Cat?" Ren jolted out of bed, springing to his feet. "Are you okay? What's going on?"
Catherine ripped the book from the baby's arms. "What the hell is wrong with our baby? I swear she's...I can't be the only one to see this! Am I crazy?"
Hermione let out a wail between wheezing coughs. Weakly reaching for something. She wasn't sure if it was the volume or her.
"You're not crazy," Ren held Catherine before turning his attention to the baby. "Why does she have so many blankets? Cat, I know you said she was cold, but she could strangle herself with these."
"I didn't put them there!" Cat yelled.
"I suppose she did it herself?" he snapped back.
"Yes! Like the book! I don't know how!"
Ren looked at the book Catherine held and to the blankets in his arms. Relief washed over her as she saw his expression change and he addressed Hermione. "How are you doing this?"
Hermione only cried in response reaching up. Lights flickered a loud shattering rang from behind them. Catherine and Ren let out yelps of surprise and spun to see the remanents of Catherine's mug scattered on the dilapidated wood.
"What the hell is wrong with her!" Ren yelled.
"I don't know, Ren! I just..." Catherine turned to her daughter screaming. "If you can do that you can tell me what you want!"
Hermione still only cried in response, reaching upward once more.
The shouting continued. At this point Catherine didn't know who or what she was yelling at. Ren? Hermione? Herself? God? She loved Ren, she loved her daughter...why couldn't she just put the sleepless nights aside and figure out what she needed to do? She was supposed to be smart, and if she really meant to love and help her daughter, why couldn't she? She recognized the same frustration in Ren, but still shrieked at him and at her baby.
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" a baritone voice shouted from the neighbouring apartment. "IT'S TWO-AM, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"
"Okay," Catherine breathed and picked up Hermione. "Let's just get her to the A&E. And maybe our neighbour CAN MIND HIS OWN DAMN BUSSINESS!"
"Cat!" Ren hissed grabbing their coats.
This is not keeping a low profile, Severus thought as he waited for the girl in his bed to wake up.
"What..." the girl said groggily. "Who the hell are you? And what the hell are you doing with my baby?"
"You collapsed at your door," he explained with disinterest. "I was going to call 9-9-9, but you were conscious enough to insist no hospitals. When is your boyfriend home?"
"My fiance will be home around five," she hissed.
"Fiance..." he laughed. "And you're what? Fifteen?"
"Seventeen," she rolled her eyes and rose from the bed. "And we happen to be adults in some cultures."
"Drink this," he said pointing to the revitalizing potion. "It'll help you regain your strength. I imagine food would too..."
He noted the girl's thin frame, her hair seemed to be the biggest part of her body. Her skin had a pale cast to it, but he imagined was supposed to be much darker. She was clearly anaemic, and the baby in his arms was not fairing much better. He wondered if the late-night crying was because her self-neglect extended to that of her child.
"And you're just helping us out out of the kindness of your heart?" she asked suspiciously.
"I suppose you would prefer if I 'mind my own damn business'?" he sneered.
"I'm sorry," she said eyeing the potion. "What on earth is this?"
"An old Chinese tonic," he lied. "You know how the land-lady likes to push her wares on us."
That was true. The old Chinese widow ran a market down stairs, but saw to her tenants like a mother-hen. Gifting him traditional medicines and nutrition tips, saying he was "too skinny and pale". He saw and heard the young couple receiving the same treatment. He was surprised she didn't claim the little girl for herself given her desire to declare herself a mother.
"And it works?" she scoffed.
"Surprisingly so," he lied again. "Your child's sick."
"I know," she sighed. "The doctors keep telling us she's just colicky, and her cough will go away but...why am I telling you this?"
"Hell if I know," he shrugged handing the little terror to the girl. "Drink that and leave. I won't have the land-lady thinking I'm some sort of pervert."
"You're what," she laughed. "four years at most older than me?"
"And an adult in every culture," he retorted his eyes on the baby.
"Thank you for your help," she rolled her eyes and downed the potion. "How'd you get her to sleep so solidly?"
Sleeping potion, you silly muggle. "As strange as it would seem, she can sleep if she's not being yelled at."
"You...You..." she seethed. "Thanks for the help. I'll leave you and mind my own business."
Yelling again? He chose to hide among muggles in London, he could have stayed in Hogsmede, he'd be starting his position in Hogwarts in September, that would have been easier. But he held out hope that if he hid out among muggles he might find where Lily was hiding out. Come across something that wouldn't stand out to someone else. But that wasn't going to happen. He ruined his chances when he called her a mudblood all those years ago. Now James Potter was living his fantasy, a family with Lily. Something small stupid and foolish. And there was no guarantee those two weren't exactly like the shouting couple next door.
"If you two can stop for one night!" he pounded on the door.
To his surprise the door opened and a boy with messy dark brown hair a head shorter than him dragged him in by the arm. "Please tell me you're seeing this too!"
"What I see is a-" then he turned to see what the boy was talking about.
The bushy haired girl reached out to the crying baby on the floor while blankets, books and a single stuffed cat flew around her. The baby was magical...these two idiots might have been in over their head if the child was a muggle, but now he saw the panic for what it was.
"If I help you, you can't tell anyone!" he hissed.
The boy's black eyes widened, but he nodded, olive face drained in fear. "We'll do anything, just help us."
Severus drew his wand and made quick work of clearing the way. He picked up the crying baby and examined her. She was so tiny, so pale and fragile. He had no clue what was wrong with the crying and wheezing mess in his hands. The chance to puzzle her out was taken from him when the girl took her and clasped her to her chest.
"What the hell was that?!" she cried.
"Magic, and you'll do well to be quiet about it," he hissed. "For her sake."
"Did you just threaten my child?" she spat.
"None of this makes sense..." the boy said going to the girl's side. "Tell us what's going on."
He saw it. The three of them together, so young, terrified and desperate. But he knew he was wrong to assume they were like his own parents. As confused as they seemed, as sick as all three of them were, there was an undeniable bond between them. If he could get them through this, he didn't know if he would finally feel at peace for his mistakes, or if the jealousy would rob him of that.
"You might want to sit," he said pointing to the table piled high with notes and diagrams. "It's a lot to take in."
"So magic is real, and our daughter is a witch?" Ren coughed. "This can't be happening..."
"How can she even be a witch?" Catherine asked. "Ren and I are...what did you call us? Muggles?"
"No one knows why some are born magical and some aren't," he said. "But there's no denying what she is. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can work with her abilities."
"What she is..." Catherine looked at her daughter. "Our daughter isn't some kind of freak!"
You're a freak, Lily...
"I never said she was a freak!" he snapped. "She's gifted and you should be proud to have a child like her! If you can't appreciate that you should seriously consider surrendering guardianship to someone who will!"
Catherine swore and rolled her eyes. "Calm down, I was upset about your words. I can accept she is..."
"A witch," he finished after a long pause. "And her acting up is likely tied to her illness. Everything you described sounds like she needed attention. Your muggle doctors have failed to diagnose her and you've been ignoring her in favour of your schooling."
"That's unfair!" Ren said taking his eyes off the baby for the first time. "We've been doing everything we can for Hermione!"
"Are you?" he said pointedly. "Would she say the same?"
The two looked at each other then at their daughter. Silence pervaded, even the baby shut up for the time being. A knot formed in his stomach as the moment became overwhelmingly sentimental. He could see tears well up in their eyes. The discomfort only intensified when Catherine looked up at him.
"What can we do now?"
"I'm not asking you to give her up. Just to do what's best for her."
"And what if giving her up is what's best for her?" Catherine choked.
"Will it be better if she's raised by people like her?" Ren asked eyes fixed on his daughter.
"I don't know," he sighed. "Plenty of muggles raise witches and wizards that turn out fine. I just want to take her to a magic hospital. That is all."
"The child's name, sir?"
Severus didn't ask for the muggles' last name...he wished he had, but then again he didn't want the wrong people knowing where he had been spending his time, or who he had been helping.
"I found the poor thing," he replied. "Can you help her?"
"We're going to have to regrow poorly developed portions of her lungs," the healer told him. "She'll have to stay overnight."
"Of course," he said eyes on the girl. "I'll return for her then."
"You?" the healer eyed him. "If you found her we should send out aurors in the area you found her. Someone might be missing their child."
The healer was a old woman half his size, but he felt her gaze burn through him. He made more of a mess than he expected. "I found the girl while I was leaving a late-night muggle take-away. Chinese, I think."
"I see," she sighed. "That describes quite a bit of London."
A round of questioning later and the auror investigating him determined no one reported a child missing. If no one claimed her after the hospital hold she would be given to a wizard orphanage. He left still unsure if he did the right thing.
"She'll be fine," he told the young sleepless couple.
"Thank God," Ren sighed. "And this will be it?"
"I think so," he said before noting the two had been hunched over books. "You both know it's July...?"
"If we both take courses during the summer we can graduate in two years instead of four," Catherine said meekly. "We'd both be surgeons before Hermione starts school."
"And keeping busy helps," Ren admitted looking up from his own book. Tired tear-filled eyes reminded him that these were literal children. "We're out of our depth, but we've always been good at this..."
"At least you can admit it," Severus backed up, uncomfortable with the admission. "Have you decided what you will do?"
"We did talk about it," Catherine inhaled sharply holding her daughter's toy to her. "If we took the year, we could go back. We'd both be on track and still be able to give Hermione the attention she needs. Hell, if we waited for her to be older we could finish pre-med and become dentists...it'd be something."
"We'd do whatever it takes to ensure she's happy and healthy." Ren said. "We love our daughter...we want what's best for her. Even if it means..."
"The disgust with which you said dentists makes me question it," he said coolly. "If you sacrifice your own happiness for her, can you honestly say you won't grow to resent her?"
"Of course not!" Catehrine hissed. "We love our daughter. We want what's best for her!"
"And is this truly what you think is best for her?" he replied calmly. "Look around you. Look in the mirror. You two are falling apart. How can you take care of her when you can barely take care of yourselves? And can you honestly say you will never have another meltdown if she uses magic again?"
Silence pervaded. The two weighed their options and Severus thought about the little girl, sedated and alone while healers fixed what their muggle doctors were too late to. He was doing what was right. No amount of tear-filled pleas would convince him otherwise. She would stand a chance in the orphanage. If the three of them kept as they were, all three of them would be dead before September.
"You would find a family for her?" Catherine choked after minutes of silence. "I trust you about as far as I can throw you...but you're right."
"Cat!" Ren gulped. "I thought we talked about this..."
"But what happens if she gets sick again? What if doctors can't help her?"
Ren bit his lip and gripped Catherine's hand. "They can save her?"
"Yes."
"We'll do what's best for her," he sighed.
Doing the right thing didn't feel right when he left the apartment with the couple in tears. He debated on erasing their memories, but too many knew about the child. It was better if they said they gave her up for adoption. Details were unimportant there.
"Are you sure about claiming her?" the healer asked.
He didn't plan it. But when he came to check on her, a healer placed her in his arms and something happened. His heart swelled as she looked up at him. Had anyone ever trusted him as much as that child did? The tiny hand wrapped around his finger sent a pleasant warmth throughout his body. He couldn't explain it, but some naive part of him felt as though he was given a second chance. He had messed so much up, but here was this tiny being totally dependent on him. He let so many down, but he could do right by her.
Perhaps it was selfish, but the child would benefit.
"You'll have to name her."
He didn't know how old exactly she was, but he could tell she was nearly a year old. She was probably used to the name her birth parents gave her. Hermione was a nice name, and he knew the temptation to name her Lily was too great if he didn't honour that. That would not only reveal too much, but it would be unfair to her.
"Hermione," he cooed still unsure what possessed him."It's alright, love, Daddy's got you."
She looked up at him in response, blinking away tears. He wondered if she would remember her muggle family and how long she would.
"You'll grow into it, little one," he didn't know if he meant her name or his guardianship.
He left Saint-Mungo's that day with Hermione Elizabeth Lilium Snape as his daughter and reassured himself that this was the best decision for both of them.
