Author's Note: Thank you so much for your amazing comments on the last chapter! You all have kept me super motivated to write on this story again and I appreciate all of the feedback. Just fair warning, this is another dark chapter *insert evil smiley*
The rhythmic thump of Ben's own pulse in his ears never abated as he followed the other Knights in their climb around the collapsed path to join Rey on the other side. The pounding of adrenaline was an intoxicating reminder of just how dead he'd felt before he joined the Knights of Ren. He'd never let himself feel anything like this before. And now? Well, he wasn't sure why he'd ever been so afraid of the Dark Side. Because now he was more afraid of being denied it.
For the first time in years, Ben was confident. Powerful. Alive.
And he knew Rey felt it, too. He caught her turning to look at him several times as he picked his way from handhold to handhold, making his way to her side of the passage. She could hide her eyes beneath her dark visor, but she couldn't hide the tilt of her head in his direction or the emotions spilling over into the Force all around them.
Ben could not wait to get her alone. He was going to rip the truth from her one way or another. With the power he felt coursing through his veins, he knew he could do it, overpower her long enough to pull her true thoughts about him to the surface.
And he was going to enjoy every second of it.
Anticipation quickened his breath, tightened his chest and he recognized the feeling now. Desire. Another forbidden emotion he'd never allowed himself to feel but now he basked in it, letting it seep into his pores until he couldn't feel anything else.
Rey turned away from him and Ben stopped himself from spearing more words through her battered mental shields. There would be time for that later. He'd let her have a moment to breathe.
He heard a grunt from behind as the last Knight finished the climb. Ren turned to face the other side of the chasm, peering at a familiar dark form lying in a growing pool of blood.
"Well Ben Solo, you're right. Looks like you got your good death after all." Ren was completely unreadable from behind his mask. "Too bad poor Vicrul won't be around to see it."
And those words only solidified Ben's knowledge that the Knights of Ren were not a gang of buddies gifted in the Dark Side of the Force. There was no mercy here, Ben realized. And if the tables were turned, there would be no sympathy for him either. It was eat or be eaten. And not a single tear would be spilled today for Vicrul.
"That bastard got what he deserved," Rey hissed. Her anger was wafting from her body, effervescing in frothy ripples of Shadow. She crossed her arms and leaned against the rock wall. "The spineless bantha sack didn't even have the balls to challenge me to my face."
"Kuruk," Ren said, ignoring Rey's complaints. "When we get back to the Buzzard, put in a call to Albrekh so we can get the kid some real armor."
"It's about damn time," Trudgen said. "My vambrace has been cracked since Mimban and I need that little monkey's help to weld it back together."
"That little monkey is going to kick your ass when I tell him you called him that," Kuruk shot back.
The leader of the Knights of Ren turned to Ben then, crossed to where he stood, and slapped his hand across his back. "You'll want to start thinkin' of a name for yourself. When you don the Knight's armor you kiss the old Jedi Ben goodbye. You leave your old life behind to follow the Ren, like we all did."
With that, Ren took the lead, heading deeper toward the core of Jakku, followed by the remaining Knights of Ren.
Ben gestured to Kuruk, trying to get him to hang behind a bit as they walked. He waited to speak until they were out of earshot of the others.
"Thanks for your help back there," he said.
Kuruk's voice was thicker, staticky through his vocoder grid. "Would have been wrong to let Vicrul splatter Rey all over the rocks."
Well, that was one way to put it.
"You're learning fast," Ben said. "That Force hold was impressive."
"Thanks, Teach."
Ben snorted.
"What we really need to talk about is what you did back there with those blaster bolts," Kuruk said. "Scared the scat out of me if we're being honest."
Ben raked a hand through his hair, his fingers sticking in places and he wondered if the damp spots were blood or sweat. "I've never done anything like that. The Shadow kind of took over."
"Well, if your Shadow ever decides to take over again, give me a five-minute warning to get the fuck out, alright?"
Ben shook his head, smirking, and followed the others deeper into Jakku's core.
Bootsteps echoed down the tunnel, continuing for what felt like hours. The deeper they went, the stronger the pulse of the Force became. If he'd felt the call of the Shadow before, it was practically screaming to be used in here. It was like a song he'd heard before, one whose melody wound around his very bones, luring him closer. His senses sharpened, details in the rock etched themselves into his memory, sounds carved themselves into his mind, even the brush of fabric from his own pants against his inner thighs, something he was never even conscious of before, somehow became overwhelming.
He had a hard time ignoring the sway of Rey's hips as she walked ahead of him, because his hands ached to touch her. His body ached to release the violence, the tension. Something inside of him was growing, building into something physically painful to suppress.
Can you feel that? Does the Force seem stronger here? He hoped he'd managed to keep the strain out of his voice, but the effort was pretty lackluster, as he was sure Rey would ignore him anyway.
To his surprise, she answered quickly. We're nearing a Force Nexus.
A what?
It's a vergence. A natural concentration of Force energy. People have made pilgrimages to Jakku's core to meditate near it for centuries.
He bit back several comments about what this Nexus was making him want to do, and none of it involved meditation.
Forcing a few ragged breaths, he distracted himself by counting his steps. Soon, the narrow tunnel began to open up into a cavernous chamber ahead.
Ren came to the threshold of the opening, and froze, extending his hand, palm out, to the rest of the group in warning. The faint drone of voices drifted from deeper inside and a shudder of excitement disturbed the Shadow around them.
It wasn't just him, then. The Knights were itching for a fight, too.
"I bet I can take 'em out before they know we're here," Kuruk whispered, sliding his blaster rifle from his back and nestling the stock against his shoulder in one smooth motion.
"Yeah, and take down the whole cavern in the process," Ren hissed. "I don't think so. We use hand to hand."
Kuruk shifted in irritation, but obeyed, slinging his rifle back over his shoulder and pulling the cleaver he kept sheathed under his jacket into his grip.
Rey stepped forward next to Ren and drew her saber from her belt, not activating it, but keeping it at the ready. The two didn't speak to Ben, but he could sense their intention as ripples in the Force. Ben knew his place and took it at Rey's side, sliding his own weapon from his shoulder holster. As one, the trio gripped their saber hilts and made their way farther in, toward the source of those voices.
They strode through the antechamber into an even larger space, lit by screens and computer arrays which were implanted into the rock itself. Around another corner, the path led into a circular room. Dark metallic beams braced the ceiling and the jagged walls were lined with more glowing monitors and dials. On the other side of the room, five men were seated at workstations carved into the rock itself.
Ren let his boots fall heavy on his last step, causing one thin man in a grey suit to jump from his seat, blaster in hand. His mouth drooped open when he took in Ren's burned torso, never blinking as he trailed his gaze across the masked faces of the other Knights.
The other four men stumbled out of their chairs too, supporting themselves against their workstations to keep from tipping over. The men's uniforms looked almost empire-era, but with an updated cut and insignia Ben had never learned about in his history books - a hexagonal border with a circle in the middle lined with jagged teeth, like the mouth of a sarlacc. He'd never seen it before. The color and form reminded him of the Empire's insignia, but it was more brutal somehow. A band circled the thin man's left cuff which probably meant he was an officer of some kind.
Not that it mattered, because officer or not, he was about to become a pile of dismembered body parts.
Towards that end, Ben step forward and flicked on his lightsaber. Ren and Rey did the same and the man's eyes went moon-wide. His fear ebbed and flowed in the space, magnified by the four men trembling behind him and it swathed Ben in an addictive embrace.
Ben breathed it in. Yes. This is exactly what he'd been craving.
"The Mindsplinter," Ben said, flatly, teasing at the man's emotions with a knife-like precision until he felt the officer's panic swell again, enjoying the way its cold tendrils licked at his own energy. "We know you have it. Give it to us."
"I – uh – wait," the officer dropped his blaster, letting it clatter to the stone floor, and put his palms out in surrender. "S-Snoke said you'd come. He asked us to patch you through to him when you arrived."
Kuruk sighed loudly from behind him. Likely disappointed that the chances of impending dismemberment had just dropped significantly. And Ben had to admit, he too felt a strange sense of letdown at the possibility of no more death.
The tiny twinge of guilt surrounding that realization was stamped down by another wave of Shadow and Ben didn't fight it. He was finding he much preferred the darkness to the weight of his overactive conscience.
The officer stared like a helpless nerf in line at the slaughterhouse. His shoulders rose and fell in a tremulous breath before he was able to will himself to walk stiffly over to the comm station on the far wall. Ben recognized the hyperwave transceiver at the center of the communications console. If this station could afford one of those, this was no den of treasure hunters and thieves. This was a well-funded operation.
Lights flashed blue as the officer punched in several sequences to open the communication channel.
Snoke's voice followed a moment later. "Commander Vox. I presume you've met the Knights of Ren?"
Vox swallowed, darting a wary glance over his shoulder. "Yes," he managed. "They just arrived."
"Good."
An awkward beat of silence followed. Vox looked down at the receiver on the console, then back at the Knights, obviously not knowing how to proceed.
The officer cleared his throat. "Um- you mentioned you would have instructions for my squad when the Knights of Ren arrived."
Snoke laughed, the end of the sound fading into a hiss that seemed even less human over the hyperwave transmitter. "So, your memory is working just fine now, is it Commander? If you were able to recall my instructions this time, then why did you have so much trouble with my orders regarding the Mindsplinter?"
Vox looked as if he had just swallowed one of the sand jiggers Rey had been talking about earlier. "What do you mean, sir? We searched as you commanded, but the relic had been moved. It wasn't our fault. A team arrived before us, and it was taken before –"
"All I hear are excuses," Snoke said. "This is the third failure your squad has offered over the last standard year. And you know how I deal with failure."
The beads of sweat that had been growing on Vox's forehead swelled, dripping down his temples and he swiped at them with the back of his sleeve. "Sir, we know where they've taken it. It's on Jedha. The loyalists have begun to rebuild the Temple and we think the group before us moved the – "
"I know where it is," Snoke snarled. "No thanks to you."
Something about this exchange wasn't making sense to Ben. If Snoke knew where the Mindsplinter was, then why did he let the Knights continue on this mission? Why didn't Snoke contact them to let them know where it had been taken?
A slow realization dawned on him then, and with it, a tingling surge of excitement began at his fingertips and worked its way up. It curled his lips into a wicked smile that he directed straight at the officer.
"If you knew where it was," Vox said. "Then why did you send the Knights of Ren – "
The color drained from his face as he glanced at Ben's expression.
Snoke's tone was hard and calculating as he gave Vox his final order. "You will watch as the Knights of Ren dispose of your useless squad. You will be the last to die. And I want it slow."
"With pleasure," Ren said, stepping forward until he was inches from the officer and Ben wondered if Vox could see his own terrified expression reflected in that mask.
"If we are going to re-establish order in this galaxy, we cannot stand for weakness," Snoke said. "We must root it out before it poisons the whole."
Vox had taken several steps back and was now pushed against an array console. Alarms beeped and buzzed angrily as he slid further across the controls, forced backward as Ren loomed over him.
"Please," Vox's voice was so strangled, he thought maybe Rey had a Force hold around his neck. "I can get the Mindsplinter back. No need to waste your Knights' time, I'll take the squad and – "
"No."
And that was all Snoke said before the comm channel fizzled from light static to nothing. The only sound was Vox's panicked breath and the scrape of boots against the floor as the other four men on Vox's team slowly backed away.
"I sense at least twenty total on the squad," Rey said, likely for the benefit of Kuruk and Trudgen who might not be as adept at using their senses.
"Then lets do what we do best." And in a heartbeat, Ren had his hand around Vox's throat.
He turned Vox by the neck, dragging him toward one of the other squad members cowering behind a stool at the nearest workstation. The man didn't have time to scream before his arm was pulsing scarlet streams onto the computer array, courtesy of Ren's weapon.
And this time, with the Shadow already crawling across his skin, Ben didn't hesitate. He followed Rey down the tight, rocky hallway into the next chamber to find the men who Rey had sensed, leaving Ren, Kuruk, and Trudgen to deal with the four remaining behind them.
Their sabers buzzed, scarlet and blue blending into a purple storm of electric energy reflecting on the walls of the rocky cavern. Ben cleared his mind of questions, amused by the irony that it was Luke that had instructed him on this particular method of focus. Because this time, instead of centering around peace and calm, he focused on the fear.
He was a charhound scenting his prey, following the trail of cold terror dripping from the Force itself.
Blaster fire issued from a dark corner, behind a boxy command station. Ben felt it coming and dodged, rolling his shoulders and reaching a hand out to rip the weapon from the man's grasp with a wrench of Shadow. The man looked down at his empty hand and charged, the whites of his eyes leaving an imprint on Ben's mind as he sliced through his torso.
He heard a scream behind him as Rey began cutting into her first victim.
A second uniformed man, this one bigger and obviously better trained than the first, was ducking behind his station, getting off two shots that came surprisingly close before Ben managed to Force grip his throat.
Ben knew he should hear choking sounds. He knew he should hear the drone of his saber in his hand. But sound and vision were becoming muddled, replaced with a churning tangle of power. A chaotic thunder began to pulse across every one of his senses and he saw the man drop to his knees, hands clutching his throat.
Ben was moving again. Three men with blasters – flashes, criss-crossing plasma discharges, burning his nose, the metallic nip of blood scenting the space.
He fought on.
The kyber in his weapon vibrated with every strike, as though trying to break free from his weapon, but still, he slashed and cut. Through metal, through flesh, wide fearful eyes blinking closed for the last time. Gurgling throats filling with blood and still he kept on. Feasting on the fear.
Until finally, when there was no more life left to consume, he stood, shoulders heaving in a state of complete euphoria.
He sucked in a breath, letting the darkness they'd unleashed fill him. It mixed with the potent presence of the Force Nexus and he locked eyes with Rey. He was light as air, skin buzzing like he'd taken three shots of his father's Corellian whiskey one after another. And he could sense her feelings as his perfect mirror.
He crossed to her then, past the durasteel dividing wall, now peppered in crimson patterns of arterial spray. Rey tore off her mask, shaking out her hair sending it cascading over her shoulders and even in the low light, he could see the wild look in her eyes. He stepped over a body to close the space between them, boots squelching through bits of flesh, like fragments of scrambled egg speckling the smooth stone.
And then, he was standing over her. Looking down at the perfect curve of her lips, watching her hungry eyes flit across his features. She reached a hand to her mouth and bit the middle finger of her glove to slide it off. Then she brought those bare fingers to his face and dragged them across his cheek. They slithered over his moist skin, and she pulled them back to show him the evidence of what they had done together, staining her fingertips.
She smiled, a sinful expression that he knew he would think about later when he was alone.
It emboldened him to speak what had been on his mind since he'd dealt with Vicrul. "Now, are you going to stop playing games and tell me why you keep looking at me like that? Or am I going to have burrow my way in and find the truth myself."
"I'd like to see you try."
Her lip quirked up in challenge.
Interesting.
So, with the Shadow's roar still loud in his ears he willed it to encircle her and in one shove of power, he pressed her back into a darkened alcove. Her body thudded against the wall, hard enough to make her wince. And he felt her struggle against him, reaching for the Force to peel away his icy grip. She might succeed… eventually. But he could sense it would take her a while.
He splayed his fingers in the air in front of her forehead, and focused everything he had on one swift, punishing lance of darkness. He thrust forward, cracking her defenses and peeling those walls away like eggshells as her innermost thoughts and feelings oozed into the Force around him. She released a throaty cry as he pushed himself deeper, the sound sending a shock of desire straight to his core.
Kriff.
He hadn't counted on enjoying this as much as he was. Ben had to bite his bottom lip to maintain his focus on her mind.
Thoughts, memories, words all battered against him as he continued his assault. And there, in some hidden corner, a morsel of shame. Of guilt. For a desire she was trying to bury.
He grabbed for it and she felt her icy claws flaying the edges of his grip.
Show me, Rey.
Then, all at once. She submitted. Her body relaxed under his grip, her shields melted away and she offered the thought to him. Willingly.
Rey was gazing out the window of her fallen AT-AT. As she'd done every night for as long as she could remember in the sixteen years she'd been alive. Meditating on the dunes sprawled in every direction, their edges glowing like mounds of fire in the setting sun. And like it sometimes did when she was very focused, a figure appeared.
A dark hooded figure in black.
He was tall. Very tall. And muscular under all of that black fabric. Silver accents on a mask underneath that hood glinted like polished blades.
He didn't walk. He prowled. Like a predator, he moved on her, his power cascading around him like a cloak of shadows.
His mask's plastoid viewport gleamed in the low light as he turned his head to watch her. Rey shivered. She always did, as though the nameless man was actually reaching out to touch her with cold fingers, his heavy gaze made palpable on her skin.
Gloved hands lifted to either side of his mask and her heart thundered. Would she finally see his face? Countless times she'd had this vision and never before had she seen what he looked like under the mask.
She held her breath, waiting.
He lifted the helmet.
The sharpness of his dark eyes impaled her immediately, cutting through to someplace so deep within herself, she brought a hand to cover her chest, feeling for a wound. It took a few seconds for her to recover enough to even process the rest of his features. Waves of glossy raven hair, an aquiline nose and full lips, like someone from the stories she'd heard the older women tell. He could have been a statue outside of some New Republic capital building, carved from marble to commemorate a long-fallen hero.
He reached a hand out to her, willing her to take it as tears glistened trails down his cheeks. Had she made him cry? What was he trying to tell her?
Then slowly, beginning at the edges, the vision fogged over, taking her mystery man away from her again. Leaving her alone, with a strange coiling tightness in her belly.
Ben retreated from her mind. Stunned. This was not what he expected to find at all.
A shallow, sexual desire sparked by the Dark Side? Sure. A curiosity, a need to touch him? Yes.
But this? Rey had seen visions of him. Not just a vision. Visions. And that face, the one she'd described as someone to admire, an object of fantasy. That face had been his. This was the reason she'd fought so hard to keep him out of her thoughts.
The Force itself had seen fit to introduce him to Rey years ago.
Why?
Ben's mind was still reeling with questions when Rey tugged at the holster strap wrapped around his shoulder and drew him down to her.
Rey's breath was the only sound in that chamber as she stared up at him."This might be a mistake," she said. "Snoke may kill us both. But I don't care anymore."
Then she combed those bloody fingers into his hair and dragged him down to her, hard. The sharp pain of hair ripping from his scalp mixed with the swell of pleasure as her soft lips latched onto his. And with that contact, he felt what was left of her mental walls crack like thin sheets of ice over a thawing winter pond. Melting, falling away, until he could sense her true feelings. And he, too gave in to the pressure of needing to feel her, the Force of all of her, everywhere.
I've wanted this for so long, she said.
Her words in his mind, pure and raw without holding back, were a drug. He wanted more, he needed to be closer and he pressed his body against her, pinning her hard against the wall as he worked his mouth against hers. Her lips pulled warmth to his skin, her grinding hips built a torturous ache in his groin, and even when the sweet summer taste of her mouth mixed with the coppery bite of blood, he couldn't bring himself to stop kissing her. He couldn't care about what a mess his face was, whose blood he was tasting, what wet stain he was standing in, because she wanted him. She wanted him before they'd even met. And it felt right.
All this time Ben had spent feeling alone, a misfit too angry, to conflicted to ever become a true Jedi. Born with too many flaws to ever become something his family could be proud of. All this time he'd spent feeling like a junked space freighter missing too many parts. And now, he'd found the part he'd been searching for. Rey was that part and after seeing her memory, and with the kiss they were sharing, she'd just wired that part back in.
And he had no idea how or why, but his heart had just kickstarted with the power of an ion drive and the Force was practically screaming at him that this was the correct trajectory. There would be no stopping it now. And he would just like to see Snoke kriffing try to tear Rey away from him.
He pulled back to look at her, lips kiss swollen and streaked with blood, freckled cheeks flushed, and it only caused him to double down on those feelings.
"I don't know how it's possible," he said, voice a rough whisper. "But, I think I've wanted this, too."
He waited for her to say something. Some snarky jab. Some backhanded comment to negate everything that had passed between them. But she only looked up at him with a new kind of fire in those hazel eyes.
Kuruk's voice echoed loudly around the space, announcing the entrance of the other Knights. "Holy sithspit, guys! All of them? Really?" He growled in frustration and Ben heard a wet thump, probably a frustrated boot against some unfortunate body. "I swear I never get to have any fun around here."
