During Volume 14 Chapters 2, 4 and 5

In my experience, when tasked with a large group project, there will be hardly any productivity in the beginning. Urgency would be absent, and the people involved feel less guilty in procrastinating. This would continue up until you were at two-thirds of the way to the deadline. That was when the sense of urgency would suddenly rear its head. Stress would build in proportion how much work was not done to this point. If you had good group members, they would finally begin doing their part.

Fortunately, those who chose to join the student council were the cream of the crop. Not only have they shifted into high gear, they were mostly past the point of panicking. After all, panicking would only serve to create unnecessary problems, especially when the promised day was inching closer.

"Okay, I think that should sum things up for today. You guys know where to go and what to do, so get to it!"

The budding president, Isshiki Iroha, adjourned the meeting, so that the diligent workers could head to the gym to continue their work. While she still gave the impression of impishness, over the past little while, she had proven to everyone that she was part of the cream of the crop. Personally, I also felt that she was behaving satisfactorily as the student council president. Of course, she wasn't exceeding expectations quite yet. She still had two years of room to grow.

Indeed, even though Isshiki was the student council president, she was the first one out the door. I gave a weary sigh.

The rest of the student council, as well as myself, followed after Isshiki. Then, Isshiki suddenly stopped walking, instead of continuing down the corridor. The rest of the student council members casually stepped past her, being used to their president's often erratic behaviour.

While I was wandering up to Isshiki to inquire about why she stopped, I heard a familiar voice.

"Oh, it's Yukinon."

I had barely turned my head before my head was plunged into an overwhelmingly soft chest. I was startled, but I let the hug-jumper Yuigahama do as she pleased. I had learned to accept her intense form of bodily contact as is, else she would prolong her efforts unnecessarily.

"You know the thing from yesterday? I'll have a lot of time during spring break," she excitedly spoke.

Yesterday evening, when I called her out to talk, we ended up spending a lot of time thinking of all sorts of things that we could do together over the break.

"That's good," I responded, "I'll have ample time to spare in the latter half of the break."

I slowly pried Yuigahama away, as naturally as I could. This was a technique that I had refined over time. By not making any sudden or exaggerated movements, Yuigahama would be more likely to not notice that I was escape and not try to clutch me back into another embrace.

"Oh, Senpai, you were here, too?" mentioned Isshiki.

Slowly approaching us was Hikigaya. He wore his typical dry smile, slouching as casually as ever.

Our eyes met.

Words of greeting partially made their way to my mouth but disappeared before they could leave it. I averted my eyes in awkwardness.

Thoughts of the previous day flashed through my mind. After saying those kinds of things to both Hikigaya and Yuigahama, I no longer knew how to act naturally around him.

Hikigaya replied to Isshiki, "Yeah. Looks like you're working hard. Things are going well, I take it?"

"It's hard to say… right?" said Isshiki as she looked toward me for help.

"Y-Yes, I suppose so," I said hesitantly, "As of now, there aren't any major problems to be concerned with, though that isn't to say the particulars of our planning are as optimal as they could be."

There were some optimizations that I would have liked to have been made: having a different schedule that utilized our time better, negotiating more with the clothing vendors, answering the inquiries that the graduates had about the prom, being more prepared to carry out the program, and so on.

Although I tried to explain, both Yuigahama and Hikigaya looked at each other in confusion.

"We're getting by, I think," cut in Isshiki as she shrugged.

…I slowly nodded in agreement. She managed to sum it up succinctly.

"Yukinon, your explanation's a mess! It's bad!" shouted Yuigahama.

She shook my arm, making my entire body wobble.

"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't quite sure how to word it because we're not exactly proceeding along smoothly enough to say we're on track…"

I had given too much detail. I tended to babble more about things that I couldn't explain well. As a result, the bombardment of fine details hid the main idea. I became self-conscious and hung my head in embarrassment.

"You're too honest! But I guess that's pretty typical of you, Yukinon," she joyfully spoke.

She snuggled up to me as closely as usual. I was barely able to shift my arm. With my personal space invaded, my face grew even more heated than before.

"Looks like everything's going smoothly, then," said Hikigaya.

Isshiki responded, "We're doing okay right now, at least. We're still a little unsure, though."

Isshiki looked toward me for confirmation.

"We—"

I should have spoken directly to Hikigaya. I'm sure that would have been the most natural. However, I couldn't even bring myself to look directly at his eyes. While fidgeting with my sleeve, I ultimately chose to speak to Isshiki.

"We plan on finishing on time."

Looking at Hikigaya, Isshiki relayed to him, "Basically, what she said."

"Hmm, well, don't work too hard," he muttered nonchalantly.

Taken aback, Isshiki spoke, "You're kidding, of course we're going to work hard. If we don't, we're not going to make it on time."

She peered in my direction before continuing, "We totally could use some extra helping hands if I had to be honest."

With both Hikigaya and Yuigahama around, I would have to be an extreme dullard to not catch her implication. Even now, Isshiki wanted to recruit those two to help out with the prom. Yet, my decision to do this by myself had not changed and had been cemented even more. Seeking his aid, such a thing was no longer possible.

I wanted to decline, though I still needed to give my justification to Isshiki. I told her that the amount of work will go up today and tomorrow, though it was nothing that we couldn't handle on our own. For some reason, Isshiki groaned, seeming perplexed.

Hikigaya, who was listening, chimed in, "Well, today isn't a good day, but if you need help tomorrow, just let me know."

It seemed like Hikigaya already had plans for today. However, the prospect of gaining his aid the next day lifted Isshiki's mood.

"Really!?" she excitedly spoke.

Unfortunately, I had to put a damper on it.

"Isshiki-san, tomorrow will be primarily technical rehearsal, so we don't expect there to be any more work beyond that. I don't believe there's a reason why we would need more personnel."

"Oh, okay…" said Isshiki in a daze.

Then, Isshiki glared accusingly at both Hikigaya and me.

"Um, I'm not your interpreter, you know," she said, disgruntled.

"Ah…"

I awkwardly let out that sound. Before I knew it, I had began using Isshiki to courier my words to Hikigaya, even though both Hikigaya and I were close to each other. I felt ashamed at how rudely I was acting.

Hikigaya scratched his head in embarrassment and mumbled in response, "My bad, I'm not too confident with my Japanese, so I don't think I'll be able to talk to another Japanese person."

Yuigahama, who was still clinging onto me, cried out, "I don't think language is your problem here! It's your communication skills! Using another language definitely isn't going to change anything…"

Unable to formulate another response, Hikigaya settled with a nervous sigh.

Awkwardness was a two-way street. The way that I was acting also caused Hikigaya to behave strangely.

"Well, I suppose there's nothing we can do, then… Yukino-senpai also sucks at communication, anyway."

Isshiki grinned. Although I could do little to deny it, her loose tongue and cheeky behaviour were greater problems.

"Isshiki-san? You're mistaken. Are you aware that it's disrespectful to speak directly to an individual that's above your social standing?" I fired back.

Isshiki leaped back.

"Eh? Scary…" she muttered.

"Um, it's almost time for us to move to the gym…"

An unexpected voice timidly spoke up. All of our eyes were drawn in their direction. It was the student council's secretary. Though her words were directed toward just Isshiki and I, she got twice the amount of attention that she bargained for. She shrank back in embarrassment.

"Oh, my apologies," I said to her.

The secretary was right. We had spent enough idling.

I separated myself from Yuigahama.

"We need to get going, so see you later…" I said to her.

"Okay, see you."

Yuigahama bid farewell with a wave. I curtly nodded in response.

I began following after the secretary. After saying her last words to Hikigaya and waving both him and Yuigahama goodbye, she bounced towards me.

I could feel his eyes observe me as I retreated. Though, it didn't last for long. Eventually, that presence disappeared around the corner.

Where we walked led to different places. This had always been inevitable, since no contest was perpetual. I had chosen to end it on my own terms. Perhaps that was why he had ended up going along with it.

The ripples from that single change had already begun distorting the rest of the pond's surface. The reflection that was so clear before had become formless, overrun by noise.

But even those ripples will cease one day. What will be reflected on those waters won't be the same as before. Yet, I have no doubt that those waters will be calm.


I had become accustomed to working with the student council, over the past while. Though, there was a similar kind of wall between them and myself as the wall between them and Isshiki. I entertained the thought that they saw me as a secondary leader to Isshiki. However, if I put aside such optimistic thoughts, I would logically conclude that it was the result of certain personality issues I had. Isshiki also had issues, but they were different and less severe than mine.

I was aware that I always stood at a distance. In the beginning, it was because I was overly haughty. Yet, that issue remained even now. By no means would my own classmates actively avoid me. Yet, at the same time, I always kept them at an arm's length away. Given the chance, I tended to walk in the other direction.

However, those issues of mine never interfered with my work. As such, our prom preparations proceeded along. As anticipated, it was never going to be smooth. Yet, by keeping a tight grip on everything, we managed to get the prom in a good state.

Today was the day of the graduation ceremony and also the day of the prom. The ripened fruits of our efforts would be served on a platter to the graduates after the ceremony. Taking place at the moment was that ceremony in question.

The entirety of the school was seated in the gymnasium. I was seated with my classmates and patiently waited for the ceremony to begin.

The students around me whispered to each other. They weren't acting particularly excited. After all, a graduation ceremony was a moment to bid farewell, and farewells weren't usually joyful.

Sometimes, a comment was directed at me, prompting me to respond. But those exchanges were short-lived and did not develop into a full conversation. With no one around who I was particularly close with, I sat mostly in silence.

With nothing else to do, I let my eyes wander around the gymnasium. The solemness was not unique to my class. Some people looked like they were in deep reflection, others held each other closely. That was the common sight. It was rarer to see someone who was sitting and doing nothing at all — someone like me.

The two that I knew well were in a different class. Due to where they were seated, it was not possible to catch sight of them. I wondered what they were experiencing. She, who had a wide circle of acquaintances that may have included the graduates and he, who knew almost no one among the graduates, would likely have different expressions on their faces.

My eyes eventually made their way to the front of the gymnasium, where some visitors sat. When I saw who was present, I unintentionally held my breath.

The woman in black traditional clothing, whose presence stood out like a jewel, was my mother. Beside her was my sister, who was suppressing her usual playful self and exuded an air of somberness.

It was meaningless to try to figure out why my sister was here. My mother, however, was here for her official duties. I would expect her to later check up on the prom as well.

Seeing those two here put me on edge. How I wished that it was mere embarrassment from having one's family members show up uninvited. No, when my mother was around, I felt the pressure of being judged, of constantly being evaluated of my abilities.

Soon, the speeches began. Most of the speeches were given by the principal and invited guests. After that were speeches from distinguished students.

The first student called upon was the representative the whole student body. Unsurprisingly, that person was Isshiki, the student council president. Hiratsuka-sensei would not let her get away with this role.

Isshiki responded to her call with her typical cheerful voice. She headed up the stage and approached the microphone. She bowed respectfully.

"The relentless winter has come to an end, and under the gentle warmth of the sun, we are welcomed by a faint aroma of the new season of spring," she prefaced.

Isshiki talked little about her speech as we worked together. As a result, I didn't have much prior knowledge of her speech.

She spoke of her past experiences with the older students. She continuously stressed how grateful she was to them and how much she learned from them.

She did not deliver her lines with absolute, smooth perfection. Rather, she pretended to make a mistake or wipe her eyes. Humans were pattern-recognizing creatures and tended to pay attention to the bumps amidst a smooth road. Her intentional slip-ups added to her show of passion. She was as devious as ever. Only those who were close to her, such as myself, would recognize her tricks. The classmates beside me were enamoured by her speech. Though, that wasn't to say that I was wholly unaffected.

"In looking back on my memories, my upperclassmen had always been supporting me…"

Though she was talking mainly about the graduates, that part of her speech resonated with me.

We, as the Service Club, had watched Isshiki grow. The events leading up to her presidency were not ones that she ought to be proud of. However, she had grown past those blemished roots and, today, she was giving a speech full of humility.

Unfortunately, the Service Club could no longer watch over her. I had brought it to an end with my own hands.

I did not know what would occur in the future. Perhaps for a little while longer, I, alone, would continue watching over Isshiki. However, the next school year would be my last. Then, standing on that same stage, Isshiki would be the one watching over me, as I would transition to the next part of my life.

I realized that very little would stay the same over time. For things that would change beyond your control, such as a parting, you would feel sadness.

Yet change ought not to be feared. If there was no change at all, another kind of sadness would arise. Such sadness would be borne of festering stagnancy.

"Last but not least, I would like to pray for your continued health and wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours. I end my farewell address as the representative of the current student body, Isshiki Iroha…"

Isshiki bowed one final time upon the conclusion of her speech. As she was doing so, rapturous applause erupted around me. As I realized a second later, my hands were no exception.

Not bad, I thought. If I were in the shoes of a communications course instructor, I would have given her a solid B+. She could have chosen to use less clichés, but it was delivered well.

Next was the award ceremony. Scholarships and other recognitions were granted to the talented.

Once that was over, the graduate representative was called to the stage to give her speech. She flew onto the stage, and her footsteps noisily echoed throughout the gymnasium. Her hair was tied neatly into two braids, yet the abundant volume gave a quaint air of fluffiness. She approached the microphone. Then, she swept her eyes across the audience, as if engraving their faces into her mind. She flashed a merry smile. I could hear my stunned neighbour gulp.

This energetic, lively girl was Shiromeguri Meguri.

"Today is a wonderful day as the sun showers us with its warmth…" she began.

She prefaced with flowery words, maintaining a cheerful display. The next part of her speech was filled with reminiscences. As she continued, she continued holding her cute smile, but her voice began to shake a bit. Eventually, an occasional sniffle could be heard.

Shiromeguri's speech became bittersweet. While the contents of her speech remained positive, it was impossible to miss her longing for those past moments.

"My most irreplaceable experiences were the student council activities over the course of my high school career. Because of the cooperation of all the classes, clubs, and volunteers, we were able to hold many events. There were two in particular that had the biggest impact on me, and they were the cultural festival and the sports festival… Boy, they were a lot of work!"

I chuckled to myself. I was involved with those two festivals as well. Hikigaya and Yuigahama also lent their aid, along with several of our acquaintances. There were quite a few absurdities, and not everyone ended up fully satisfied. Yet, we managed to fulfill our primary goal both times — making the events a success.

Shiromeguri continued her animated speech, which was approaching its end. My neighbour, who was spellbound when listening to Isshiki's speech, was now quietly shedding tears. Isshiki's speech was dramatic as if watching a movie — though like a movie, the actress was pretending. Shiromeguri's expressions were authentic. She could more deeply touch the hearts of her audience.

"From this point onward, we will take one step at a time toward our individual futures."

Recollection of the past was but one side of graduation. Just like with Isshiki's speech, Shiromeguri began her conclusion in a forward-looking manner.

"Even if we encounter an insurmountable wall, the memories, lessons and pride we gained from Sobu High School will serve as the backbone that propels us to live strongly. I truly thank you from the bottom of my heart. In honor of all those who gave us a supporting hand… I end my formal response as the graduate representative, Shiromeguri Meguri."

She bowed magnificently, thanking us, the audience, for listening to her speech. The stage was wrapped in silence. However, the audience was engulfed by numerous quiet tears and astounded mutterings, the sum of which sounded like a low rumbling.

However, that fluffy girl was certainly not one to let things end in sadness. She lifted her head and flashed her most ginormous smile.

"Everyone, thank you!" she exclaimed, "I had a blast! I had the best time ever! Thank you so much!"

Most of the people in the audience cracked a smile in return. Yet, before we could process anything more, Shiromeguri suddenly swiped the microphone from its stand.

"Hey, you guys, are you ready to culture!?" she bellowed like a rock star.

The teachers and other adults widened their eyes in pure shock. However, this line was familiar to all of the students present.

"Yeeeeah!" the audience shouted back.

This was, of course, the same line she delivered at the cultural festival.

"Chiba's specialties!" Shiromeguri continued.

The audience echoed back, "Festivals and dancing!"

"Since we're all fools!" cried Shiromeguri.

"We'll dance!" the audience returned.

Then, in unison, Shiromeguri and the audience yelled at the top of their lungs.

"And sing a song!"

The audience exploded with clamorous applause. Shiromeguri not-so-neatly dropped the microphone back where it belonged and rushed off the stage. While the teachers looked somewhat agonized, they, too, had smiles on their faces. She probably wouldn't be chastised too much after this.

Shiromeguri Meguri was the epitome of a student council president. To be able to bring about unity among the student body was great proof.

Though she was playful, she was mindful of others. Her positivity wasn't used just for herself. She spread that positivity throughout the school in the form of those festivals and other events. In a way, she became an icon of the school, someone that everyone adored.

She was someone who had grown.

In any case, the rambunctious Isshiki Iroha had a lot to live up to. That kind of legacy isn't something that you could easily match.


After the graduation ceremony, I had a rendezvous with Isshiki at the student council office to discuss about the prom. After getting only a few words in, Shiromeguri barged in to say her farewells to the student council. She was quite emotional, and it was quite difficult to breathe. It wasn't that her farewell was heavy, it was literally that her tight embrace nearly choked all the air out of me and Isshiki. The tears streaming down her face also made it difficult to find the right time to separate myself from her.

Fortunately, Yuigahama and Hikigaya visited at the right time, causing Shiromeguri to release Isshiki and me. Though, the relief was short-lived for me. The moment my eyes coincidentally met Hikigaya's, an awkwardness like an itching rash settled in quickly. I made an excuse to Isshiki, saying that I would meet with the vendors, and quickly exited the room.

The rest of the student council wasn't with us back in the office. That was because they were busy transforming the gym, which was the site of the ceremony, into a proper prom hall.

As promised to Isshiki, I met with the vendors. I told them where to drop off the goods, what things they will be collecting after the event, and other logistical details. Since there was a lot to go through, the meetings took a while.

"Yukino-senpai! It's almost time."

It seemed that Isshiki had arrived and had been waiting patiently for me to finish. I ended the discussions with the vendors and made my way towards Isshiki.

Yet, standing beside Isshiki was someone unexpected.

"Hikigaya-kun…"

He stood, slouched as always, with his hands shoved into his pockets. He didn't say a word to me. He merely glanced in my direction a single time and nodded with the faintest of motions.

I had ended things that day, yet he was standing here as usual, as if hearkening back to those days that we were supposed to have put behind.

Perhaps it was a withdrawal symptom. Perhaps it was linked to another request that he had accepted. Perhaps it was a byproduct of seemingly unrelated coincidences. However, he did not voice his reasons. He elected to stay silent, accepting the circumstances for what they were.

"Hey, Yukinon! We're here to help out!"

Before I could deliberate further, Yuigahama appeared and stepped towards me. I quickly bowed in appreciation.

"I see… I'm sorry for the trouble," I muttered.

"It's fine! Don't worry about it!" spoke Yuigahama with a smile, "I was always planning to help."

"Thank you," I spoke shyly.

Isshiki hopped over as well.

"In any case, let's start our meeting," she declared.

Neither Yuigahama nor Isshiki were involved with the inanity; the awkwardness was between Hikigaya and me alone. Thus, it wasn't surprising that they were able to get straight to work without any hesitation. Perhaps the reason that Hikigaya was here was because of Yuigahama or Isshiki. If that was the case, then there was nothing else to say.

Isshiki gave a copy of the schedule to each of us. She went through the roles, as we discussed. As I glanced around the gym, it seemed that everyone was present — the vice president, the secretary, Kawasaki Saki, and others.

"What should we assign these two?" Isshiki asked me, while pointing at Yuigahama and Hikigaya.

We no longer had critical roles needing to be filled. However, that was because some people had multiple roles, given how many people we had. The two of them could take over some of those roles and make the prom smoother.

"Since they're offering, we can have them help with reception, the sound, or the lighting," I answered.

"I'll do the reception," Yuigahama offered, "We can't really leave that to Hikki, so…"

Isshiki nodded and spoke, "That's true."

Hikigaya simultaneously slumped forward with defeated shoulders and gave a prideful smile. The contradiction was somewhat humorous.

However, I refrained from commenting. I turned to Yuighama to give her some instructions.

"We're not expecting a large turnout, but there will be parents visiting, so make sure to register their names. For students, check their ID."

Isshiki added, "We'll station Tobe-senpai and the other grunts at the reception, so if there's any trouble, let them handle it, and please call either Yukino-senpai or me."

"Okey-dokey," cheerfully responded Yuigahama.

Tobe Kakeru was not the brightest bulb, but he did have the ability to make himself appear intimidating. The incident at the forest at Chiba Village came to mind, and he was quite convincing at that time. He and his buddies should suffice as security guards.

"As for senpai…"

Isshiki looked between me and Hikigaya.

I muttered, "Let's see…"

Of the options that I had brought up, two were left. We should be discussing which one was more suitable for Hikigaya.

Yet, when I tried to say something directly to Hikigaya, I failed to move my lips. The work-related words stopped at my throat, unable to be conveyed.

Hikigaya glanced briefly at me. Then, he turned his attention to Isshiki.

"The lighting seems pretty integrated throughout the event, so that might be too difficult to do if I don't have an idea how everything works," he spoke to her.

"That's true. Please help as a sound assistant, then," she responded.

Isshiki had quite a few roles on her plate, though that couldn't have been helped due to her position. Handling the sound was her responsibility as well, so this should help lighten her shoulders.

"Roger that," said Hikigaya while nodding, "Anything I need to keep in mind?"

"Music numbers are printed on the event schedule, so there shouldn't be any issues as long as you follow the playlist. We'll also call the song cues, so I think we should be okay," she explained.

"Uh-huh, I see."

He nodded with confidence.

As Isshiki and I had discussed, keeping things simple, well below the maximum of one's capabilities, helped lower the chances of anything going wrong. After all, there were many simple things going on at the same time. The interleaving of many simple things brought about a complex machine as a whole, thus we shouldn't make it even more complicated.

I refrained from voicing those unnecessary thoughts.

"Do you mind if we do a quick test run?" asked Hikigaya.

He pointed at the control booth.

"Oh, sure. Let's go take a look," replied Isshiki.

Together, we headed up the stairs and entered the tight little room, with a large window to oversee the gym. There was just enough space in here for the four of us, but the control booth was clearly intended for housing two people at the most. The mixer was placed directly below the window. The manual was attached to its side, and I had flipped through it the other day, from cover-to-cover. It was quite straightforward to teach Isshiki how to operate it.

"I'm going to play a song," announced Hikigaya.

Isshiki affirmed, "Sure."

Hikigaya began operating the equipment. Club music began playing from the large speakers in the gym, prompting several of the workers to look around in amazement. Hikigaya looked back-and-forth between the schedule and documentation he was given and the mixer, nodding to himself. Operation of the equipment was not difficult at all.

Suddenly, he turned around and asked Isshiki a question.

"What about the mics? How many do we need, and where do we put them?"

He brought up a good point. This booth controlled not only the speakers but the microphones. If Hikigaya was to help with the sound, he would have to manage both the output and the input.

"Huh? Oh, give me a second," spoke a flustered Isshiki.

Without a clear answer in her mind, she flipped through the papers she held in her hand. It was a little preposterous that she didn't know, given that she was the MC. I took out some masking tape and headed towards the mixer.

There were several sliders controlling different equipment. Three of the unmarked ones went to the microphones that we needed. To help Hikigaya tell them apart, I used masking tape to give labels to the sliders.

"A wired one for me at the stage right, a wireless one for Isshiki-san, and a spare one at the stage left," I explained, as I marked the labels.

I put the roll of tape back in my pocket. I began digging through in search for a pen. However, Hikigaya had already found a pen for himself. Moving his chair close to me and the sliders, he reached his arm over to write on the masking tape: "Yukinoshita", "Isshiki", and "Spare". I nodded to indicate that it was correct.

He took at another look at the schedule. He found another thing he was confused about.

"What's this 'slideshow' about…?" he inquired.

"Hmm? Oh, this?" voiced Isshiki as she looked at what Hikigaya was reading, "It's a picture compilation of the graduates from all sorts of people. It wasn't really edited, though."

Isshiki was correct. It was an idea that we came up with at the last minute, how a send-off video would be appropriate at the end. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough time left to do a decent job of it. All that we had done was collect random images from people, threw the images and some music in the timeline of our video editing software, and encoded the video. Although I had a frown when I checked the final product, it seemed somehow satisfactory as a whole. I supposed that there wasn't much you could do to ruin something as simple as a slideshow.

"So, the most annoying item is the slideshow, huh?" grumbled Hikigaya, "What are we using to play it?"

I answered him, "We'll be using the PC's line out for sound. We've also confirmed the lighting during technical rehearsal, so you only need to worry about the faders. We'll take care of playing the video on our end."

I took out a laptop from my bag. I powered it on and connected the outputs to the equipment in the room. Surprisingly, the type of connectors that were available in the control booth were quite modern, leveraging specifications like DisplayPort and HDMI, which matched the connectors on our equally modern laptop.

"Roger that," said Hikigaya, looking convinced, "Will the video start with a black screen? How many seconds?"

"It'll be an initial ten seconds, followed by another ten, for the countdown," I responded.

Hikigaya turned his head in my direction and asked, "Can we give that a try?"

I nodded to him.

"Yes. Isshiki-san, can I ask you to run through the process?"

"Huh…? Oh, yes!" sputtered Isshiki.

For some reason, Isshiki nearly leaped out of her chair, as if she was forcibly awakened from a slumber.

"What's wrong?"

"Um, I was just thinking how you two were talking a lot…" she murmured, looking at Yuigahama.

"Well, it happens all the time, so…" nervously spoke Yuigahama.

Hikigaya and I fell silent.

Without paying it heed, I had gone with the flow and began communicating with Hikigaya about the work. That must have looked strange, when I could barely speak with him minutes before.

That was just how my relationship with Hikigaya was, even from the very beginning. Initially, we did not get along at all, and would only properly communicate when it came to club activities. Work served as the excuse that let us communicate.

With the topic of work suddenly taken away, awkwardness filled the booth, with no one talking for several seconds.

Then, Hikigaya had an outburst.

"I'm sorry, okay? I barely talk, and when I do, it's only at times like this."

He had the tendency to say silly things, often in self-deprecation, to distract himself and others from awkwardness.

Looking exasperated, Isshiki began, "Well, yes, but…"

Suddenly, she cut herself off. Hikigaya was glaring at her with the most hideous look he could muster. She gave him an uneasy smile.

Realizing that we have strayed from the original topic, Isshiki cleared her throat. She straightened her standing posture. That was the cue for starting our practice run with the slideshow.

"Okay. Next, we have a slideshow," announced Isshiki, "Yay! Clap, clap, clap."

The onomatopoeias that Isshiki voiced were supposed to be the audience's applause.

"After that, Isshiki-san will exit the stage," I continued from Isshiki, "The lighting will slowly black out, and the video will play."

On the laptop, I launched a video player. I navigated to where the video was stored in the file system and opened it. I also used another program that had remote control of some of the stage equipment in order to lower the screen.

Looking out the window, the screen slowly lowered, displaying a black image.

While all of that was happening, Hikigaya understood the hint to deactivate the music and microphone while activating the laptop's audio out. Once he finished, I played the video.

We in the control booth, as well as some curious onlookers in the gym, watched a countdown appear. That indicated that the video was successfully playing; the countdown was a part of the introductory sequence of the video. After it hit zero, our unimpressive slideshow began playing.

Though Isshiki and I have seen the video more than enough times, seeing it displayed on the big screen evoked stronger emotions. The nuances that we were going for were amplified. Though, that included both the good and the bad.

"It kinda feels like I've seen this before…" commented Yuigahama.

"Well, that's what happens when you use this kind of music…" spoke Hikigaya.

The montage of photos and the music were intended to evoke the feeling of nostalgia, though the pieces we chose were fairly popular.

Isshiki crossed her arms and spoke, "It's better this way. We wanted to prioritize simplicity, so it's okay to cry."

"They might just laugh it off as a parody, though…" I said with a wry smile.

Because of how recognizable the music was, there was the possibility that the audience would interpret it wrongly, perhaps by trying to draw parallels with the music's original source. There was nothing we could do about it; it was not like we had the time to compose our own score. Even so, given that the seniors were here to celebrate their graduation, we hoped that they would interpret the slideshow in the intended fashion and reminisce with the photos.

While I was pondering, the video had reached its end. The final slide with a congratulatory message was shown on the screen.

"After the video ends, the lighting will come back on, and the MC will take the stage again," I explained.

Hikigaya nodded and voiced, "I think I've got it mostly down now, so I should be able to handle the controls when the video plays…"

"That would save us a lot of trouble if you could," I said with gratefulness, "We had someone available to do it during the technical rehearsal, but once the event begins, we might not have that luxury…"

Without Hikigaya here, either Isshiki or I would most likely have to take more control of this part of the event, increasing the chances of making a mistake. Thankfully, with Hikigaya helping us, neither of us would have to run around as much.

"Hm, well, I'll probably be here for most of the night, so I can do it. Do you mind if I fiddle with the controls while checking a few things? I'll probably play a few songs," suggested Hikigaya.

"You're free to do so until the venue opens," I affirmed.

"Roger that," he said in a business-like manner, "Is that about it for our meeting?"

To check for any loose ends, Hikigaya noisily flipped through his copy of the schedule.

Busying ourselves to put on an event, it was just like during the past days of the Service Club. We fell back to the rhythm that we had often found ourselves in, even when the club was no longer operating. Going along with the flow, I was even able to talk to Hikigaya normally, if it was about business.

However, things were not exactly the same. We no longer had a shared reason for taking part in this event.

From the planning stages of the prom to now, my own reason had not changed, even if several things were broken along the way. Even now, I wanted to prove that I could stand on a stage that I had prepared by myself.

Hikigaya had tried to go along with the prom, in order to protect me, as a symptom of codependency. That reasoning was no longer possible. He was here now, but not for my sake directly.

Convergence was but a coincidence. Divergence had been set in stone.

"Yes, that should be it… Thank you, and please take care of the rest," I said with gratitude.

I lightly bowed. He found himself too troubled to meet my eyes.

If, by chance, we were to meet again in the future, it would again be for work-related purposes, similar to the past but most definitely from a different root. At that time, I would thank him again, for troubling himself in affairs that were not his own. That would become the norm.

"Isshiki-san, let's head to the lighting area," I called out to her.

We had plenty of work remaining before the prom would officially begin.

"Huh? Oh, roger. Okay, Senpai, see you later," hurriedly spoke Isshiki.

I headed to the door. Isshiki rushed over to catch up to me.

Though, if there was one thing that didn't change, it was that we were workaholics.


We continued to crunch as we approached the start of the prom. We cleaned up any glaring issues that remained while performing the necessary final checks. At this point, it would be possible to hold the prom immediately, but these final checks would ensure that things would proceed more smoothly.

My current job was to give Hikigaya headsets that would be used to communicate with the three of us. He should be working with the microphones on the stage right now.

I headed up the stage. I spotted Hikigaya speaking into the microphone to ensure its operation. Loudly, his voice echoed back from the speakers. He turned in the opposite direction of me and made a wide, circular gesture with his arms. Such a gesture signalled that the microphones were operational. The one who he was signalling to was Isshiki, who was up in the control booth. Through the window, Isshiki returned the same gesture to him.

It appeared that he had finished what he was doing, so I called out to him.

"Hikigaya-kun."

He turned around and looked at me with a bewildered face. I approached him and handed to him two headsets.

"We'll use this to call the cues," I explained.

With a faint smile, he commented, "Ooh, that's a little nostalgic."

There was another event in the past where we had worn headsets — the cultural festival. We became a little too comfortable using them and even blurted out things that we shouldn't have. That specific moment of embarrassment stuck out a little too well in my memory.

I didn't offer a follow-up comment. I shifted my legs in nervousness. I still couldn't get rid of this uncomfortable feeling when trying to speak with Hikigaya, as if a bolus was stuck in my esophagus. What little ability I had in making small talk had been completely reduced to zero.

"Can you give the other one to Isshiki-san?"

Instead, I followed up with an instruction.

"Y-Yeah," muttered Hikigaya in surprise.

It was obvious that he had been expecting me to say something else.

I had no more requests to bring up to Hikigaya. Thus, I had no more words, and our briefest of conversations ended uneventfully. We were left standing on the dim stage, as silent as a pair of rocks. The awkwardness was so stifling that it felt like my lungs would implode from a lack of oxygen. Yet, neither of us attempted to escape. Just like rocks, we remain rooted and immobile.

"Oh, right, you're going to use a stand, right?" unnaturally spoke Hikigaya.

He raised the microphone that was in his hand. It seemed like he was asking if the microphone would be mounted on a stand, instead of being held in our hands.

"Y-Yes, that's the plan…" I replied.

He speed-walked to where the stands were. Taking one with him, he walked back to where I was, put it on the ground, and began adjusting its height.

"How high should it be?" he asked me, "About this much?"

As usual, he was lending as much aid as he could to me. He grumbled and complained before working, but once he was steeped in work, he would act like this.

I sighed. And, just as usual, I was about to accept his aid, without thinking about it, even if it was better if I did it with my own hands.

"That's perfect, but… I can do this much by myself," I spoke, hanging my head.

"Right… sorry," he quietly apologized.

He stepped back a fair distance away from the stand. He looked ashamed, as if he had unintentionally injured me.

"No, you've got nothing to apologize for…" I spoke.

Scratching his head, he murmured, "Ahh… right."

Once again, we fell into silence and paralysis.

The distant sounds of clinging and clanging, as well as the voices of the workers, entered and exited our ears. In spite of those somewhat loud noises, I thought that I could hear both of our breaths, in and out.

How long did we stand there, facing each other but not really looking at each other?

Pointless, unrelated thoughts continued to circulate through my mind, standing out like thorns that I baited myself to fall on. They were no longer relegated to sleepless nights rolling around on the mattress.

I sighed, for what felt like the hundredth time today. I was being unforgivably rude to Hikigaya for the past while. If I acted with any shred of decency, I would have spoken to him directly from the beginning and gone along with his small talk.

"Um… if my atittude's been unpleasant in any way, I apologize," I spoke remorsefully.

Hikigaya blinked in astonishment and said, "Huh? Oh, no, I thought you were just acting normal…"

He chose rushed words, which ended up being too kind to be true. There was no way my behaviour towards him was anything but natural.

"I wasn't really sure what kind of face I should make when talking to you," I spoke with unease.

How should I have behaved? I did not know. After disbanding the club, after telling him that I would shoulder everything on my own, after saying those kinds of things to Yuigahama, what I felt was a swirl of depression clawing at my innards, embarrassment over revealing so much of myself, and anxiety about what he would say to me next.

It was difficult to even stand still. My hair was probably a mess with how often I was flicking it back and forth.

"Oh, okay… I think you can just act like normal…?" hesitantly suggested Hikigaya.

"Normal… R-Right," I stuttered.

Normal, normal, normal.

He was suggesting that I behave the same way as before. Technically speaking, there wasn't a need to change the way I acted around him just because certain things had changed. My own hesitations and anxieties were the cause of my abnormal behaviour.

"Well, things are a little hectic right now, so I doubt you had the time to relax and think things through," he calmly spoke, "You'll get better at being normal in time. Not that I'd know."

I replied, "Y-You're right. Once things settle down, I should be able to improve and be more natural at it…"

Acting normal didn't mean to not put any thought into it. It meant that you had already thought things through and could smoothly speak without any worries acting as a stumbling block. Hikigaya was correct; I hadn't given myself any time to process what had happened over the past while. I hadn't given myself the time to accept things.

Once I figured things out, I would finally be able to start improving myself and start communicating more smoothly.

Though, that didn't excuse my earlier behaviour.

I cleared my throat and spoke, "I wasn't trying to be mean or anything earlier… Um, it's true we're short-handed, and in that respect, I appreciate your help, so…"

Hikigaya cut in, "Mm, yeah, I got it. I wasn't really thinking when I came here to help… things just turned out this way. It's not like I can just sit around doing nothing, anyway."

Going along with the flow was nothing new for Hikigaya.

"I don't think that's your fault. Isshiki-san's also depending on you," I said.

I relaxed my shoulders. Finally, we were speaking casually with each other again. The mood lightened considerably. Even Hikigaya managed to wear a wry smile.

"Isshiki's gotten pretty reliable lately, so we'll probably be relieved of our posts eventually," he jested, "And that means we won't be getting these kinds of jobs anymore."

While speaking, Hikigaya turned some of his attention back to his work. He reeled in the microphone's cable.

"That's debatable. I don't think she'll let you go very easily," I spoke with a teasing smile.

"Oh boy, that's a frightening thought, very scary…" he spoke with mock fear.

Even though I had been helping Isshiki with every step of the prom, Isshiki still felt the need to ask Hikigaya for help several times. At this point, it was likely that she was confiding in him, rather than needing his abilities. He was the catalyst for her presidency, and he spoiled her all the time. It was little wonder that she felt comfortable roping him into her schemes.

There were a few parallels between her and I with regards to our relationships with Hikigaya, but Isshiki's situation was far healthier. She could derive confidence from his help, but she didn't depend on it. Thinking back, Isshiki was prepared to go forward with the prom even without the Service Club's help.

Such a thing could definitely be considered normal.

Suddenly, my smartphone vibrated. I had stuffed it into my pocket, instead of neatly putting it in my bag, so that I could get to it faster. I retrieved it and checked the mail that I received. When I read it, I let out a deep sigh.

They're here now. Can you go meet with them? Please! Sorry!

I directed my eyes upward, to where the sender of that message was situated. Through the control booth window, Isshiki was giving me an apologetic bow.

"What's up?" asked Hikigaya, "Did something happen?"

It was something that we were warned about in advance. Though, we needed no advance notice. Even a child could have predicted that this would happen.

My mother had come to carry out inspections of the prom venue. As her daughter, I had to be the one to meet her. Hikigaya didn't need to accompany me.

"It's nothing important," I replied to him.

I told him that weak lie to dissuade him from following me. Then, I descended from the stage with rapid steps.

Hiratsuka-sensei was already under the stage. Catching sight of me, she gave me a wave.

"Oh, Yukinoshita, you were here," she said.

"Yes, I was close by," I spoke as I crossed my arms, "It seems like it's time for inspections."

"Yeah, it is. It's just the PTA making sure that things are in order. Though, at this point, they can't really stop the prom," sardonically spoke Hiratsuka-sensei, "Besides, they've been convinced. It's essentially a show put on to say that they have standards and are enforcing them."

After what they had said, I supposed that the PTA couldn't just step completely back, or they would be admitting that they were unreasonably influenced by a minority of parents. By holding this last-minute inspection, they could say that they've compromised with us, retaining their legitimacy. Though, like Hiratsuka-sensei said, not even they could stop it on the day of the event itself.

"Still, that doesn't mean we're allowed to look sloppy," I stated, "They can't do anything now, but they can do something next year."

One of the goals of the prom was to establish it as a tradition. That's why we couldn't just completely ignore the demands of the PTA initially. If we had done that, the chances of being allowed to hold another prom would drop significantly.

"Anyway, I'll leave the showing around to you guys. I've greeted them already and taken care of the annoying stuff. You guys can just focus on the inspection itself," spoke Hiratsuka-sensei.

She said "them" instead of "her". It seemed like my sister decided to tag along with my mother for the inspections. I saw my sister at the graduation ceremony, so it wasn't unexpected that she would stay afterward.

While we were speaking, my mother and my sister had entered the gym. They were heading towards us.

Hiratsuka-sensei waved. However, she didn't wave towards them; she waved at someone behind me. I turned around.

"Oh, Hikigaya, you were here? Sorry for interrupting your preparations," she apologetically spoke.

"Ahh, not at all…" he muttered.

Hikigaya did not stay where he was after all. He had followed me even when I wanted him to stay on the stage.

I had no time to tell him that he could return to his duties because my mother had already reached where we all were. Surprisingly, she acknowledged Hikigaya with a friendly wave.

"Hikigaya-kun, I'm happy to see you again," she politely greeted him.

"Haha, hello…" muttered a stiffened Hikigaya.

He likely did not expect to meet my mother. His face turned a bit pale. Now, there was no longer an opportunity for him to escape.

"I see you'll be attending the prom," she chatted with rare glee, "I'm rather excited to see your excellent dancing."

Hikigaya gave a strained laugh, "Hahaha…"

My sister peered at him with curiosity.

"You can dance? Really?" she questioned with a grin.

"I hear he's quite the dancer, enough to make me want to dance myself," my mother spoke giddily.

Hikigaya shifted about uneasily.

Without me knowing, he had somehow gotten on my mother's good side. Unfortunately, that meant he had to fall victim to her teasing. It was a similar behaviour to my sister, though my mother was mature enough not to bare her fangs every time she did so. Teasing people whom they found interesting, I supposed that such a trait ran in the family.

To save Hikigaya, I interjected into the conversation. I turned to my mother.

"I believe you're here to inspect the venue, correct?" I spoke professionally, "We're rather hard-pressed with our backlog, so can you make this quick?"

Matching my attitude, my mother changed gears. She panned her eyes around the transformed gymnasium, nodding her head.

"You're right," she replied, "It's impressive you were able to accomplish so much in such a short amount of time."

Her compliment did not seem to be laced with platitude. From her happy expression, she seemed to be genuinely impressed.

Again, my mother spoke to Hikigaya.

"It seems your throw-away plan to buy time is paying out in spades. Considering how extravagant your initial plan was, there's really no room for us to voice our complaints. I suspect even the most meticulous individuals will find this up to standard… You did your research, I must say."

She gave him a somewhat shred smile. There was no longer a need to hide the true purpose of his past actions, so she had brought them up plainly. Moreover, she even approved of his plot.

"Oh no, it's not like I did anything," he hesitantly spoke, "Everything was all because of—"

He immediately shut his mouth. Had he continued, we would have heard his usual spiel that was more self-deprecating than humble. He would have acknowledged someone else, even if he was the main contributor, because he could not be proud of his own actions.

However, he chose not to do it.

Because he cut himself off in the middle of his sentence, my mother tilted her head in confusion.

Instead of continuing, Hikigaya silently stared at me. I did not understand what he was trying to communicate. Did he want me to continue? It would be remiss of me to continue his line of thought and affirm that he did nothing. Or, did he want me to say something else?

"This was all because of the generous understanding and cooperation of the parents," said an intervening Hiratsuka-sensei, "Don't you agree, executive chairman?"

Feeling a thump on my back, I silently winced. Bewildered, I whipped my head around. I caught sight of Hiratsuka-sensei winking at me.

I began understanding what was happening. We must not become haughty of our own efforts, yet we must acknowledge the significance of our efforts. I had to properly do my part as the representative of the prom's efforts.

Last year, Sagami Minami took the stage, even through her tears. Despite her failures, that stage was hers to take. It was the role that she was given, so she had to fulfill it to the end.

In the same way, reassuring my mother was the role of her daughter. Satisfying the inspector was the chairman's job. It fell to no one else — neither Hikigaya nor Isshiki — but myself.

I cleared my throat and properly responded, starting with a bow.

"Y-Yes. As the planner, I would like to express my gratitude. I believe there may be some things that may not be up to standard, but as this is a joyous occasion, I would be most grateful if you could watch over this event in kind. Should there be any claims from our dear guests, I will see to it that they are all handled with the utmost urgency."

I acknowledged the PTA, via their representative. I used the presumed success of the prom as part of that acknowledgement, to show that we were proud of our work. I expressed that I wanted to work with them.

I believed I spoke the right things, or so I had hoped. I fearfully met my mother's eyes.

"I see. I may be your mother, but it's important to maintain your dignity at times like this. I'm glad to see you're finally showing a look befitting your position…" she said, showing me a wide, yet fearsome smile.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Somehow, I had finally received recognition from my mother. Though, this was not yet a time to rest. After all, the inspection itself had yet to begin.

My mother hid her smile behind her folding fan. One's countenance was another piece of the communication puzzle. By obscuring part of her face, less information would be conveyed from it, and her words would stand out more. Though, that might just be me overthinking things. It could have just been an ordinary habit of hers.

"In any case, as the director of the parents association, I would like to proceed with my inspection," she cheerfully spoke.

"By all means," I complied.

My mother wanted to know about the ending procedures first. I led the way, and both Hiratsuka-sensei and she followed. My sister spoke a word to Hikigaya, which predictably caused him to contort his face in disgust. Afterwards, she bounded after us.

For the first time in a while, I was able to make my mother pleased. Even though my mother walked along as gracefully as ever, I could feel a spring in her steps.

Hikigaya did not come after me this time. He stood by himself, exhaling a tired breath. He left me to my devices, if not for my sake, then his own.


After I showed my mother and sister around, I separated from them so that I could fulfill my main duties. They would be sticking around for the entirety of the prom, to see it through.

I stood at the stage right, hidden behind the curtains. I had a good view of the gymnasium from here. I would be overseeing the prom from here, most of the time.

The vice president had informed me that the guests had lined up behind the closed doors of the gym. The time had come to let our prom commence.

I pushed the button on my headset. I communicated my instructions to Isshiki on the other side.

"This is Yukinoshita. We'll be proceeding as scheduled, and the venue will be opened to the guests," I stated.

"Isshiki here, roger," came the responding voice, "Playing venue BGM."

Seconds later, the first piece played out of the large speakers. It had an upbeat melody and a moderately fast tempo that did not delay itself in reaching the interesting parts of the piece. It would serve to rouse excitement and set the energetic mood of the prom.

The prom guests were let in. Fluttering, showy dresses and sleek, mature suits filled the floor, accompanied by awed voices.

However, the crowd showed an equal mixture of excitement and confusion. Some of the people were looking around, wondering what to do. It couldn't be helped, since this event was a first for everyone here.

From behind the curtains, I turned on my microphone to deliver my opening lines.

"Welcome and congratulations to the graduates! I thank you for coming to the Sobu High School prom. This event is a celebration for your outstanding achievement. We would like for you to have as much fun as possible. This is our final gift to you! Now, we will have the chairman of the executive committee, Isshiki Iroha, give you an opening word."

While I was giving that narration, I spotted Isshiki descending from the control booth. When I finished speaking, Isshiki ascended to the stage. The lights became focused on her. Then, she delivered her short speech, which included an explanation of the program.

Thinking about it, this would be the second time that Isshiki would be giving a speech today. Once the prom ends, Isshiki would have to give a third speech.

"…The night will be filled with music, laughter and dancing! That's exactly what a prom is!"

I watched Isshiki speak from behind. The amplification of her voice and the elevation of the stage served to make everything seem grandiose. Countless groomed faces looked up at her with increasing elation.

The sight was dizzying. Seeing this, I truly thought that the night would be something special. I could feel it in my bones — the bass of the club music and Isshiki's booming voice.


The brilliant lights were a sight to behold. Intense scarlet red blanketed the dancers, giving a surreal sense of hotness. In response, the graduates raised their voices and freely moved their bodies.

We went through the program successfully. There were plenty of tears shed during the slideshow. Isshiki ought to do something similar next time, maybe even increase its production value.

It was now a freer period, where the prom guests could dance or partake in conversation and refreshment as they pleased. This was the crux of the prom.

I went through my rounds, assisting where I could. I relieved the prom staff from their breaks, taking over their duties for a while. While I did so, I was able to check how the graduates were doing. Fortunately, everyone was having the time of their life.

I spotted Shiromeguri Meguri, who was wearing quite an elegant dress, with deep, mature colours. Though, her dress completely with contrasted the pure, child-like grin accompanying her wild dancing. I couldn't help but let loose a chuckle.

Of course, it wasn't just Shiromeguri who had an eye-catching dress. Thanks to Kawasaki and the clothiers, we had prepared a catalogue for those that did not have suitable wear already. It seemed that the program had borne good fruit.

In this sea of fashion, the ones who stood out were the prom staff who wore their school uniforms.

Within the crowd of dancers, one pair was dressed in that (lack of) fashion. Their movements were awkward and stiff. It was difficult to tell if they were having fun. Even so, they stuck with it to the end of the music.

What had unfolded on the dance floor was surely the fulfillment of a wish. Such an activity was not one he would pursue willingly, without a strong incentive.

I felt some amount of satisfaction, because what I had asked him to do was being fulfilled.

Yet, even greater was the feeling of emptiness, as if I had approached the end of a novel. When the page was turned, blankness was all that could be encountered.

The lights continued to flicker and flash. Screams, yells, and wild movements continue to spring around the gym, to make the most out of their final days as a high school student. The ecstasy would help engrave this moment into their minds.

I retreated to my spot behind the curtains, shrouded in darkness, where I would watch over the remainder of the prom.


The time had come to bring the prom to a close.

Currently, a highly fast piece was playing, the most vigorous one. It was the final piece of the night, the best for the last.

Meanwhile, we needed to get ourselves ready for the closing event. I was standing by at my spot at the stage right.

"—Isshiki-san, are you on standby?"

I spoke into my headset.

"—Isshiki here, I arrived at the stage left," came the response, "I'm ready. Removing headset."

I confirmed, "—Understood. Standby for your cue from the backstage narration."

"—Roger. Talk to you in a bit," relayed Isshiki.

After that came silence. There would be no more communication with Isshiki until she got off the stage. The only people left on the line were me and Hikigaya.

"—PA reporting, this is the last number."

Hikigaya's deep, lethargic voice sounded from my headset. It had been a long time since we communicated with a headset, with just the two of us — or so we believed at the time.

"—Understood. I'll call the ending cue from the stage right. Don't miss it," I warned.

I glanced up at the window of the control booth. There, I met with Hikigaya's dead-fish eyes.

"—Can you see me?" I asked him.

He replied, "—Yeah, I can see you."

Feeling mischievous, I directed my eyes toward the audience and panned back and forth, feigning a survey.

"—I'm up here. Look up. Wait, you looked at me earlier, didn't you?"

That pitiful, gruff voice sounded over the headset, as if on cue. He must be making a most defeated frown right now. I couldn't hold back laughter. I held my stomach. I wiped the tears from my eyes. It had been a while since I teased him.

I composed myself and glanced back at the control booth. As expected, Hikigaya stared back at me with an exasperated expression, or so I believed, since it was difficult to see his face due to the lighting.

"—I'm not used to looking up at you, so I couldn't help it," I spoke.

Admittedly, tilting my head upwards felt rather foreign. Actually, it felt almost therapeutic, exercising my neck muscles in a new way.

"—You're used to looking down at me? But that's okay, I'm used to being looked down at," proudly spoke HIkigaya.

"—Your subservience is certainly something to look up to. My neck and shoulders might get sore, though," I spoke as I massaged my shoulders.

Hikigaya's distant face was distinguishably contorting in disbelief, and his faraway eyes seemed to be focus on something highly specific. In other words, he found it difficult to believe that my shoulders had a heavy reason to get sore.

"—Did you say something just now? I didn't catch it. Can you say it one time?" I muttered.

"I didn't say anything…" he weakly retorted.

That was correct, he didn't say anything aloud. He ought to keep such unnecessary thoughts to himself.

Our silly exchange brought back those days long past. We hurled insults at each other and made excuses. One would wonder whether anyone could feel comfort in those kinds of situations. Yet, I could not dislike those moments. We could not get along in the beginning, so we never made the usual efforts to act friendly. It developed into something abnormal for all three of us, but it was something that we could treasure, like a thorny rose with a sweet fragrance.

But that kind of moment was about to end. The song was already well past its halfway point. We had almost reached the limit.

From above, Hikigaya gazed at me once again, but without moving his lips. There was a sense of vacancy in his stare. I tilted my head, wondering what was wrong. He moved his lips, but nothing was transmitted over the line. I wondered what he was trying to say. Perhaps he changed his mind as he shook his head soon after. I nodded back to him to indicate that I wouldn't probe.

His words had failed to reach, separated by an unbridgeable gap. Even if I stretched my hand out, the small window of the control booth was so far up that it didn't reach. Reaching out toward the unreachable window towering overhead was like a situation directly from Shakespeare.

That thought put a self-loathing smile on my face, because the situation was the same, even though our relationship and positions were different.

Yet, our relationship wouldn't end on such a straightforward and blissful manner. It would remain as something that the three of us would never know how to define. Even if we were to give it a name, it would not change. Whatever you named a rose, it would still have the same sweet fragrance.

But I didn't believe those words at all. Yet, I swallowed them as if they were sweet poison, in order to put myself to rest.

I peered up once more. It was difficult for me to perceive his expression, but it looked like he was smiling. Before I could ask if anything happened, I was interrupted by static from my earphone.


"—The song's ending momentarily."

"—Understood… Hey, Hikigaya-kun… Make sure you grant her wish, okay…?"

"—I know."

"—Thank you. Let's end this."

"Next, the chairman of the executive committee will present her closing remarks."

Isshiki descended from the stage. Finally, finally, the end had been reached.

I raised my hand to give the final signal. But I didn't extend it any farther because I knew it wouldn't reach the elevated window. With the very same hand that lost its destination and had naught else to go, I quietly waved.

The song that had been playing gradually faded to zero, replaced by the white noise of chatter.


Life continued onward, indifferent to the things that have ended.

For a certain group of people, the fact that the prom had ended made no difference to their term of volunteer employment. The cessation of that term was at a different time than the cessation of the prom. In other words, it was necessary that the student council stay behind to clean up.

Before the cleanup, however, we decided to hold a modest celebration. In an unused classroom, Isshiki gathered everyone around a long table laden with food.

She poked me with her elbow.

"Yukino-senpai, can you raise a toast?"

"M-Me?" I spoke in bewilderment.

She stared at me with pleading eyes that seemed to want to hear some inspiring words from the elder one. It was convincing enough to hide her unwillingness to do the formalities herself.

I sighed. I would placate her just this once, but never more in the future (which is what I had told myself last time).

"Then, I would like to take this moment to say a few things…"

I spoke as I raised my paper cup.

I began "We were able to successfully hold the prom due to the support of everyone here. To the collaborators, I truly thank you for your cooperation…"

I continued my impromptu speech. However, after receiving tired looks, I realized that I was being long-winded. Thus, I decided to end it early, about a quarter of the way through.

"I pray that we, the third years, can be sent off in a similar fashion next year as well… Cheers."

Everyone else responded with their own "Cheers" with raised cup.

Ever amicable, Yuigahama shouted, "Great work today!"

She raised her cup in front of Hikigaya. Smiling, he awkwardly touched his cup with hers.

Isshiki migrated to the centre of the room and called everyone to her attention.

"Everyone, we have light snacks prepared for you, though I'm sorry to say they're just leftovers from catering," she announced, "We'll have to throw them out if there's any remaining, so please help yourselves and then some!"

She held out her fists with sparkling eyes, as if she was proud of being how generous she supposedly was.

Unfortunately, the thought of the food being leftovers vanquished the appetite of everyone in the room. The food in the various trays were messily strewn about, long having lost their former visual appeal, having been victimized by scooping and prodding. If I had to guess what temperature the food was, I would say that it was at 21.7 degrees Celsius, the same number that was showing up on the thermostat on the room's wall.

Bluntly, Hikigaya grumbled, "No one's going to get hungry if you put it that way…"

"Ahaha… I think I'll grab something, though," carefully spoke Yuigahama.

Yuigahama was the first to approach the table. Humans were social creatures and tended to take the same action as someone they had observed. The sight of Yuigahama going for the food served as the push for the hungry student staff to finally line up for the food.

With a plate of food in hand, Yuigahama approached me. Isshiki followed her from behind.

"Yukinon, good work!" cheerfully spoke Yuigahama.

"I'm sooooooo glad it's over," said Isshiki, slouching forward with exaggerated fatigue, "It became such a huuuuuge pain. I'm happy that it's over."

I wryly smiled and said, "You should've known by now that nothing ever goes smoothly."

Anything that the Service Club touched always ended up twisted in some way. This was about the only thing that was predictable. It was as if a sadistic author was trying to write a sick comedy where things always went wrong.

"Though, it was enjoyable," I added, "I don't think there's anyone who's regretting it, even if it was chaotic."

I swirled my cup around. The surface of the tea whirled around in a vortex.

"Yeah… I enjoyed myself in there, ehehe…" timidly spoke Yuigahama.

She played around with a piece of cake on her plate. Then, she shut her eyes tightly and shoved the entire piece into her mouth, wolfing it down. She seemed agitated at first, but it was quickly replaced by a sun-bright smile. Yuigahama was, as always, a lover of confections.

If Yuigahama could make a smile like that, then there shouldn't have been anything to regret.

"Oh, look, there's Senpai," said Isshiki as she pointed in the direction of the wall.

I looked at where she was pointing. Hikigaya was chatting with Hiratsuka-sensei. For some reason, he was squeezing his face, as if he had eaten something sour. Hiratsuka-sensei was giving him a rather fiendish smile.

As a unit, the three of us made our way over to where they were standing. Hiratsuka-sensei greeted us with her raised cup.

Raising my cup, I spoke, "Good work today,"

Hikigaya raised his and responded, "Yeah… I'm glad everything worked out."

"Thank you…"

After that brief exchange, we averted our eyes from each other. I stopped myself several steps away from Hikigaya.

The tea in my cup that rocked back and forth as I walked now became still.

"It was a wonderful event," spoke a woman.

All of us turned around. Greeting us was my mother. Behind her was my sister.

I put aside my cup of tea, leaving it on the table. I gave her a small bow in appreciation.

"Thank you very much for your cooperation," I graciously spoke, "We were able to hold the event without any significant problems because of your guidance."

My words were not entirely platitudes. My mother was the representative of the opposing side — the PTA. However, that meant that she was also their messenger, both in sending us a message and receiving a message for them.

"Not at all. I also want to thank you for listening to my sudden request. You did well in managing the entire event. I'm quite impressed," she happily spoke.

She bowed to me as well, in remarkably the same manner. When she lifted her head, we met each other's eyes, prompting us to smile.

Receiving acknowledgement from my mother made me feel serene, as if I had put on new, fluffy clothes. Though, it was difficult to feel at ease with all the warm smiles aimed at my direction.

Then, the haughty voice from behind my mother jeered loudly.

"I had a lot of fun watching, too. Yep, good stuff."

My smile sank, while my sister's smile grew.

Being her little sister, I could sense malice behind those innocent-sounding words. My older sister was best behaved when her mouth was shut. Whenever she did open her mouth, the words that came out had to be taken with your guard up.

"This is the kind of thing Yukino-chan wanted to do, after all," she spoke matter-of-factly, "That's your plan for the future too, right?"

"Wanted to do…?" my mother murmured while looking at my sister in surprise.

"Why don't you ask her?" my sister replied.

My mother turned to me, with shock plainly visible.

Have you not given up on it? Her expression seemed to say those words.

The shock was present on Hikigaya's and Yuigahama's faces as well.

My sister had wrenched open the lid of Pandora's box.

I had become involved with the prom to prove myself. I had always intended to have another talk with my mother when I felt confident enough, but my sister fast-forwarded that moment to the present. With my mother gazing at me, I could not avoid the subject.

I felt nervousness akin to stepping on needles. The possibility that my mother would reject my wishes completely ate away at my confidence.

Nonetheless, I slowly began to speak.

"About that… I'm interested in father's work, and I want to get involved in the future."

My mother held a hand to her mouth in surprise. Seeing such a reaction from her, I almost felt ashamed for speaking up.

I continued, "I'm aware that what I did today won't directly influence my future, and I know it won't be a guarantee for anything, either. I'm not talking about right now, but some time in the future… But for the time being, I just want you to know how I feel on the matter."

I gripped my wrist to stop in from shaking. Unfortunately, my other arm was also shaking.

What I achieved today could hardly be called being in the same vein of my father's work. There was not a single act of political maneuvering being done. Something like being elected as student council president, or even to a smaller role in the student council would have done me better.

The only thing that I could definitively say was that I had become able to walk on a path that I had laid out for myself.

My mother hid her face behind her fan once again. With sharpened eyes, she evaluated me.

"Is that truly how you feel…?" she coldly asked me.

There would be no taking back your words.

A child quickly changed their mind, as their worldview continuously changes, day after day. However, an adult had years of solid experience that they could rely on, and their decisions were steadfast.

I could not easily change my mind about this. I had to be sure. If I did change my mind later, she would probably never acknowledge me ever again.

Was I truly sure?

After mulling it over once more, after thinking of the admiration I held toward my father, what I desired to be, and what I had become today, I made my decision.

I slowly nodded.

Suddenly, my mother broke into a smile.

"I see… I understand. If that's truly what you want, I'll support your decision," she calmly spoke, "Let's take it slow and think things over from now on, because there's no need to rush."

I nodded, accepting her response.

She was not against my stance. There was not any outright opposition to it. Yet, neither did she offer a firm confirmation. She was not committed to the idea. This was all the progress that was possible for now.

"It's gotten rather late, so I should be on my way," my mother spoke up.

My mother indicated to my sister that she ought to go on ahead. It seemed that my mother had a little more business to attend to.

Turning to us, my mother spoke, "Have a good night."

She courteously bowed to us. Hiratsuka-sensei offered to walk her out. They had a back-and-forth exchange, where my mother would decline while Hiratsuka-sensei would insist. Eventually, both of them disappeared behind the door.

With my mother gone, I was able to relax. Tension fell off my stiffened shoulders like a fallen backpack.

"We should call it a night, too," said Isshiki.

Isshiki separated from us. She and the other student council members dismissed the volunteer prom staff, thanking them for a job well done. The student council staff temporarily left the room to dismiss those who weren't currently in here and to clean up.

"That was kinda scary…" breathed out Yuigahama.

It seemed like I was not the only one gripped with nervousness. Both Yuigahama and Hikigaya loosely hung their arms in relief.

"No kidding… Mothernon's frightening…" he drearily spoke.

"What do you mean by 'mothernon'…?" I asked with exasperation.

His suspicious nickname was a rewording of "Yukinon" that Yuigahama liked to call me as. Though, when it came out of his mouth, it only sounded gross. I laughed at the ridiculousness.

"Anyway, it's great things worked out. Right, Yukinon?" said Yuigahama, skipping over to my side.

"Y-Yes, you're right… Thank you."

She was right. This could be considered a positive outcome. It was not anything to be ashamed of.

This time, my sister's sudden action had actually been helpful. Though I didn't feel prepared to speak initially, I felt grateful for my sister's push.

"Nee-san, thank you, too…" I spoke.

She tilted her head and said, "For?"

Hesitantly, I clarified, "For a lot of things, like putting in a word for me."

Saying those kinds of sweetened words were quite unlike me. I felt a tinge of embarrassment.

At one time, she had promised me to speak with my mother. What had transpired would have fulfilled that promise.

However, all my sister did was nonchalantly play with her hair. Rather than being proud or grateful, she seemed completely indifferent.

"Oh, that?" she chillingly spoke, "That really wasn't my intention when I said I'd do that for you."

She seemed quite eager to speak with my mother earlier, but that eagerness was now gone. She was acting as though she wasn't involved at all.

"Hmm, well, I guess mom seemed pretty convinced? I can't say the same for anyone else, though. Right?"

She directed her eyes in our direction — Yuigahama, Hikigaya and me — with unexpected enmity. I instinctively gripped Yuigahama's hand. Her hand was shivering.

"Why are you asking us…?" said Yuigahama, glaring at my sister.

My sister piped up "At the very least, I'm not convinced."

"What…?" Hikigaya let out, with a stupefied expression.

My sister declared, "I can't accept it."

Being struck by her words, Hikigaya froze with his mouth hanging open.

She continued, "I mean, don't get me wrong. I honestly don't care what happens in the family. It's not like I want to take over the family business or anything."

That was true. I had never seen my sister become excited over those prospects. If anything, they were a burden to her.

I started, "Then…"

She cut me off, "But you know? I've been treated on the assumption that I would the entire time, so you can't expect me to suddenly be okay with it. I resigned myself to the fact since there wasn't much I could do and settled on a compromise. Now this happens…? Don't you think it's a bit of a stretch that I'd be so readily convinced after all that?"

My sister was smiling, but it was filled entirely with contempt. More than simple displeasure, she emitted bitterness.

"Why are you saying that now…?" I groaned.

She hadn't voiced her opposition all this time. She had agreed to go along with me without telling me how she felt about it. I couldn't understand my sister.

She wasn't pretending. My sister frowned, showing me great malice.

"Do you really think I can accept your decision to be even remotely equivalent to the last twenty years of my life?" she uttered, "You're going to have to show me something worthwhile if you seriously want me to relinquish everything to you."

She did not hide behind forced playfulness or wrap it up in some bizarre plot. She confronted me directly with her displeasure.

No one could say a word.

Us children could hardly fathom the life of an adult. Children moved along the rails set by the adults around them. Adults had to set their own rails and could rely on no one else. I could hardly imagine the pressure that my sister was going through having her rails be forcibly dug out by me.

I was going to make my sister face an ending that she had not laid out with her own hands.

"Anyway… I'm going to say hi to Shizuka-chan before going home. See you."

Abruptly, my sister changed the topic and spoke her farewells. With a carefree smile, she waltzed passed us to the door. She made one final wave, more in Hikigaya's direction, and left. Her footsteps sounded down the corridor, making brisk but faint steps, that gradually disappeared.

The three of us were left standing around with awkwardness. It was difficult to move even a single muscle.

Hikigaya was staring at the floor, looking powerless. Yuigahama was giving me a concerned look.

I muttered to them, "Um, I'm sorry… for the strange things my sister said."

"It's nothing new," said Hikigaya as he shook his head, "I'm used to it now."

"Oh, that's true," agreed Yuigahama.

I responded with appreciation, "I see. I'm relieved to hear you two say that."

The two of them had unfortunately been exposed to my sister's antics for quite some time. It was encouraging to see them come out relatively unscathed.

"But I think she was serious today. It just means those twenty years were that heavy," I said.

What she had said wasn't something to brush off. Not only my mother, I now had to consider my sister when making my decisions for the future. How resolute did I have to be to match up to her twenty years?

"Yukinon, the past for you… for us is just as heavy," Yuigahama gently spoke, "I don't think it's about the length."

She had a solemn smile, one that was deep in recollection. Then, she pumped a fist and flashed a fiercer smile.

"The past year was just as weird, too!" exclaimed Yuigahama.

With an irritated voice, Hikigaya asked her, "What do you mean by weird…?"

He sagged his shoulders. No doubt, the word "weird" was troublesome thanks to the kinds of things we went through.

Seeing him appearing down, I let out a giggle. Gradually, Hikigaya was able to form a smile.

"Well, it was pretty weird," Hikigaya muttered, "The Service Club was kind of insane from the beginning."

I pointed out, "Most of it was because of you, though."

He was unable to deny that fact, so he merely nodded.

"Yep, yep. That's why, it was a lot of fun…" spoke Yuigahama, "You kept doing weird stuff all the time, so there were some sad things, some bad things, and some painful things that happened along the way, though."

She slightly hung her head. Hikigaya and I did the same.

As we explored all those requests with each other, we made mistakes and hurt ourselves. We constantly stumbled, and rarely did we feel fully satisfied with something. There was always a loose end, something that lingered, even after we finished. Those lingering things that gripped our hearts with agony would serve as a reminder of those moments.

We weakly laughed together. Despite what they were, those painful things were shared only between us.

"But more than anything else, it was a long year full of fun, happy and lovable things," tenderly spoke Yuigahama.

"You're right… I think I can say that with confidence as well," I said, lifting my face.

"Yep," affirmed Yuigahama.

Those happy things had a different kind of loose end. You wouldn't begrudgingly remember them but welcome the memory. They would also be a drive to create more happy memories.

Yet, because of that drive, it would become painful if you could no longer create them.

I looked around the conference room. Before we knew it, only the three of us remained.

"I suppose this wraps up our last job," I murmured.

I had said that I would handle Isshiki's request on my own. Through, we ended up tackling the prom together in the end. I was not necessarily unhappy about it. It actually felt more proper this way.

Scattered chairs, plates of half-eaten food and half-full cups littered the floor and tables, like a party that was partially finished. What could be loosely described as the heat of the atmosphere still lingered. Images of the smiling staff laughing with each other and giving each other toasts could still be conjured from the scene.

Such scenery was the usual aftermath of our club activities. Though, most of the time, it was relegated to light tea and snacks in our club room, with just the three of us. It was fitting that, this time as well, I could witness this.

I peered back to Yuigahama and Hikigaya. I mustered a soft smile.

"I think now is as good a time as any to end things once and for all, not because of what Nee-san said, but because this is the best time to do so."

I spoke as clearly as I could, trying my best to keep my voice from shaking.

I had already ended the broken relationship with Hikigaya. The two of us were stranded in this awkward non-relationship now, but at the very least, the codependency was broken.

With Hiratsuka-sensei leaving, this club could no longer exist. Its existence was dubious in the first place. Without a teacher behind the scenes to pull the strings, termination would have gone through sooner or later.

—No, that itself was just an excuse. The real reason was because I knew that things could not stay the same as before. If we tried to force it to be the same, we would end up living another lie. This was the only way that she and I could properly confront our respective feelings.

"I think I'd be okay if we could keep continuing like we always have," said Yuigahama with a fading smile, "But if that's what you want, Yukinon, I'm fine with it, too."

She, who desired everything, chose to suppress her feelings in order to fulfill my wishes. I truly was pitiful, for I wanted her to find happiness in her own wishes too.

We smiled at each other briefly, knowing what the other person was thinking.

Then, we directed our eyes toward the person who had stayed silent — Hikigaya Hachiman.

"I.."

He began saying something, but he stopped himself. The words did not escape his mouth. He desperately looked around, looking like he couldn't breathe.

Yuigahama and I waited for him to give his conclusion.

"I.."

But his conclusion never came. There was no silly joke, no self-deprecation. He tried to eke something, anything, out. Yet, all Yuigahama and I saw was a blank look on his face. He did not say anything. He couldn't say anything.

"Hello, everyone… Er, is something wrong?"

Isshiki barged back into the room. She seemed startled, even more than us.

"Nothing," said Hikigaya, "Are you guys done?"

"We are. We just have this room left," replied Isshiki, "Anyway, thank you for your work today."

"All right… I'll be on my way, then," quickly spoke Hikigaya, with an unnatural tone.

Isshiki widened her eyes and said, "Huh? We still need to clean up here…"

He slipped past Isshiki. Hikigaya's strange behaviour amazed her so much that she forgot to chase after him. Or, perhaps she didn't for another reason.

Before I knew it, my hair was whipping through the air. The room became the door, and the door became the dark hallway. The hallway stretched on, but the gap was closed in an instant. I reached out my arm, and I bunched the edge of his sleeve with my fingers. I stopped him before I even knew what I was doing.

There was something that I still had to do.

"Hikigaya-kun, wait," I called out to him.

He stopped walking. He didn't move. He didn't turn around completely but showed the side of his face to me. The darkness of the hallway, with barely any illumination from the windows and distant classrooms, made it difficult to see him.

I was breathing heavily. In the past, he had teased me about my lack of stamina. It was one of the many usual things that we threw at each other, back and forth.

I calmed myself somewhat, getting my breathing in control. I clarified my thoughts, putting to mind what I wanted to say and putting to words what I wanted to convey.

"Um… I wanted to make sure I told you this," I started.

Embarrassment rose from my chest, like the top of a leavened loaf. My eyes were scrambled, bouncing around from place to place, except for Hikigaya's face. Eventually, I settled my eyes in the direction of the windows. On the window was a reflection of the two of us, superficial representations of our forms. I looked at the image of Hikigaya.

"Thank you for helping me today… but I don't mean just today, but for everything up until now. I'm sorry for putting you through so much."

On that evening, I told him that I would be fine without him. However, I hadn't told him how grateful I was toward him.

"You don't need to apologize. If anything, I'm the one who put you through a lot more," he spoke with a wry smile, "Why don't we just call it even?"

He was looking at something on the window's reflection. It was difficult to see where he was looking, but I hoped that it was at me. I had a feeling that, at some point, we met each other's eyes on those translucent images at the same time.

"You're right, you really were quite the handful. Even it is, then," I spoke, my tone carrying an elation that surprised even myself.

To the very end, he wouldn't stop trying to make things difficult.

His smile in the reflection looked slightly warped, and his eyes seemed even more dead than usual. Though, I supposed that the angle of the image caused that distortion.

"Thank you so much for all the times you've helped me."

I rarely did thank him. Even when I did, it would be things that were minor. I acted overly harshly to him in the beginning. I continued acting that way because I didn't know how else to act around him. I was so nervous.

But all of that was in the past. I asserted that to myself once more.

"I'll be fine now," I spoke, tightening my grip on his sleeve, "From now on, I'll do my best to handle things better on my own."

I said similar words to him now as back then. How we ended up overseeing the prom together was but a happy accident, a transient but serendipitous moment.

"That's why…"

As I began speaking, several cars zoomed by on the road, as if participating in a race. Their engines screeched like a banshee. Blindingly bright headlights polluted the dark air, erasing our reflections on the window.

I turned, properly facing the real Hikigaya. He was already facing me directly. I told him that I would be fine, that things should be put to an end, but the engines were so loud that I could hardly hear myself. I wondered if I even managed to say the sentence that I had planned in my head. I would never know if they simply disappeared before exiting my mouth, because Hikigaya hardly reacted, as if he hadn't heard what I told him either.

The sounds of the engines and the lights disappeared as quickly as they appeared. Hikigaya appeared to be smiling, but it looked completely unnatural. His pupils were not steady. The sleeve that I was holding onto was trembling.

"Yeah, I understand. Don't worry. See you."

He quickly spoke those lines and hid his face from me. Then, he took a step forward. But he didn't make another move. It was as if something was in his way.

I looked downwards. My fingers were still gripping on his sleeves. They refused to budge. Nothing in my mind was relayed to my hand. They were stuck like a sculpture that was moulded forever to only one form.

I had professed to him and to myself over and over that everything would be ending. I should have been sure of myself. After going through the past year, gaining and losing so much, I should have finally become someone who was unwavering, just like my sister, just like my mother and just like Hikigaya Hachiman.

Yet, this pathetic hand of mine continued gripping his sleeve. I couldn't release it. At the bitter end, certain feelings that I kept locked away manifested not in my heart, mind or mouth but my hand.

Hikigaya turned around with a confused expression. But when he looked downwards, his face became stonier than I had ever seen.

Just like how he had always been, he kept everything to himself. He had to do it again. One final time, he would be fulfilling my wish, no matter what.

With his other hand, he reached his fingers out toward my hand. The touch was ice-cold. I felt immense self-hatred over the leaping in my chest.

He grasped my first finger. Then, he slowly pried it away from his sleeve.

He grasped my second finger. It, too, was plucked away.

Plucked away was the third.

Nudged away was the fourth.

Fallen away was the fifth.

He held my entire hand in his. Because we were in contact for a while, a faint heat built up where we were touching.

Then, he gently moved my hand to my side. He let go.

"Bye…"

He shoved both of his hands into his pockets. Slouching forward, as always, he retreated at long last.

A single set of footsteps echoed down the hallway, each step sounding like gongs in my mind.

I stood where I was, watching over the shrinking back, cradling the hand that had become cold.


Another Side: Haruno

I was used to getting catcalls. It happened often because I was a beautiful young lady hailing from a prestigious family. I was of a high breed in every single way possible. Of course, that didn't mean I was pretty by default. Do you even want to see what I looked like in the morning? Every lady had to put in the effort to look nice.

Because of my super beautiful face and the seemingly super expensive perfume that I put on (pro tip: never tell anyone the brand and they will never know), it was easy for me to lure a young adolescent out for a private chat. All you had to do was walk past him and give him a suggestive glance. Bonus points if you managed to sneak it in without the other two girls next to him noticing.

He would not run from me. I wouldn't allow it. Although, I didn't even need to try, in this case. He had a few highly valid reasons to be looking for me.

The corridor that I was waiting at was dimly let by a faraway light of another room. I browsed through various social media sites on my phone while I was waiting. I scrolled through the posts, only reading the titles. I was aware that the title skimming would poorly influence my point of view, and I needed the context of the article behind the link to get the full picture. That said, I compromised with the clickbait, and I only ever delved fully into the things that caught my eye.

Something to pass the time was all that I needed. I was absolutely sure that he would be taking a little detour on the way. But without agreeing on a set time to meet, I would not be able to blame him for arriving late.

When he appeared in front of me, I of course teased him immediately.

"You ran away, after all."

Hikigaya Hachiman clicked his tongue. I laughed with glee because he was always so fun to bully. What made it even better was that he had the claws to strike back. I couldn't get enough of it! I was sure that my cute sister felt the same way. Even my mother was starting to get fond of it.

"That's rich, since you're the one that called me here," he menacingly uttered.

See what I mean? Of course, I had a thicker skin than most, so I accepted it without a word of complaint, shrugging it off like sand falling off a cart. He wasn't wrong, after all.

"Why would you say those things?" he spat, "Just what in the world are you trying to do?"

Those irritated words were ones that people have been telling me a lot lately. First it was with my mother, regarding my class attendance. Hayato had called me out one day and asked a similar question, about something loosely related.

I had already told Hikigaya and the others about how I felt earlier, but I repeated it to him. I was fine with either my little sister Yukino or me taking over the family business. But there was something on top of that which I was more concerned with.

"I just want to be convinced, no matter the ending," I gently spoke.

Free of excuses, free of superficiality, I just wanted her to make a decision that she would stand by completely. I continually put obstructions in front of her. I even created problems that I had trouble justifying to myself. I just wanted to see what she would decide to do, when she could not run away.

Hikigaya slumped, looking like he had given up.

"Are you saying we should show our sincerity?" he said with a defeated expression, "Are you the yakuza of feelings…?"

From his perspective, he saw me as someone who manipulated their feelings for her own entertainment. I found his attitude amusing, so I ended up letting out a giggle.

"I won't deny that, but… I don't think my mother's convinced, either," I explained.

"She seemed optimistic, though?" said Hikigaya with confusion.

Again, I burst into laughter. The immaturity of high schoolers was both baffling and hilarious. Of course, I was in his shoes not too long ago. I supposed that it was the pride or disconnect of an adult to be looking down on teenagers.

I explained to him that it was basically a non-answer. She did not give her full word of approval to Yukino. She did not stand by it, but neither did she oppose it for now. Yukino should have been aware of that as well.

Hikigaya sighed, before speaking, "You're not family for nothing…"

I did not look down on Hikigaya. He had big enough brains to figure this out eventually, and I was sure that he was somewhat aware already. I simply fast-tracked the pondering part, and he understood it readily. If it was Gahama-chan that I was speaking to right now, no matter how plainly I would put it, she would find it difficult to understand it concretely. Though, that doesn't mean that she wouldn't be aware of it.

I added, "Anyone could tell if they were there. It doesn't have to be me, her older sister, or her mother, either. I'm sure as her friends, you could tell too, right?

I was also sure that Yuigahama Yui understood on the instinctive level, even if she would struggle to put it to words.

"We're not close enough to be considered friends, so it's hard to say," he muttered matter-of-factly.

"That's your answer after everything that has happened? You're the best… You really are stubborn," I teased.

There was no possible way he meant that. Even if he did mean it on some level, it would mean that he bypassed the meaning of friendship entirely. To him, he was a loner and, a loner had no friends. Though, everything else on either side of "friends" on the spectrum was fully possible. His talent for sophistry was just as bad as mine.

I sighed. Feeling the need for fresh air, I opened the glass door.

"I doubt anyone was convinced," I repeated.

I stepped outside. The cool air met my face. I breathed in the fresh air, letting it fill up my lungs.

"Um, why is that?"

I slipped outside quite quickly, but Hikigaya had briskly followed after me, even ignoring the fact that he was dirtying his indoor shoes. Seeing someone go so far to chase after me would ordinarily be flattering, but I knew that he would never initiate such an action for me, if he didn't have a prepared reason.

Yukino had been trying to make her own decisions, to work for herself instead of letting someone else do the work. I knew because I said that word to them. I knew that it was wrong. There wasn't even a consensus for that word's definition among psychological experts. Yet, because of my position, they all took it at face value.

I was twisted. I took concepts that were normal and contorted them into absurd shapes. Even if the original concept still remained, no one could recognize them anymore.

That word belied something else.

"Because… her wish is just a form of compensation," I answered to Hikigaya, "The three of you, Yukino-chan, Hikigaya-kun, and Gahama-chan, did your best to convince yourselves, right? You tell yourselves for the sake of it, you find the right words for the sake of it, and you avert your eyes from it…"

They refused to acknowledge it, because it would hurt all of them. That's why, they chose to hurt only themselves, so that the other two would not be hurt. The fatal flaw was that the other two couldn't bear to see that one person be hurt. Thus, time and time again, the issue became swept under the rug, even as it continues to grow and grow.

"You make excuses for it, and you rationalize it… You do that to look the other way just so you could fool yourselves, right?"

Hikigaya stared at me, looking as if he had seen the end of the world. In this quiet place, I could hear his ragged breaths, struggling to fill his blood with oxygen.

The mirror that I spoke to was frozen in place. Yet his mind had to be exploding with fireworks of revelations.

I gently rubbed his cheek, as if he was a kitten. My fingers occasionally touched microscopic stubs of facial hair, pricking my skin. Though, unlike a kitten, he did not rub his face back on my fingers.

"That's why, I told you before. You can't get drunk," I murmured.

"I guess so…" he breathed out.

I smiled at this hopeless boy. I could tell why Shizuka was so fond of him. He usually acted aloof and could spit out senseless jokes that could end up making someone's mother uneasy. Yet, when he was making such an expression, you felt compelled to pat his head.

He thought, and he overthought. Nothing escaped his eyes, and he made a big deal out of every little detail. It was impossible for him to smooth it all out into a blur of easy, drunken homogeneity.

In front of this mirror, I slid my mask halfway, revealing my mouth.

"If you don't end things properly, it'll fester for the rest of your life. It'll never end. I know, because I've been deceiving myself that way for the past twenty years. I've been living a life like some kind of imitation."

This mask of mine, when did it first appear?

This disguise of mine, where did it start and where did it end?

The deception was first seen as a necessity. Then, it merged into a part of me.

Normally, shrubs were pruned to prevent overgrowth. Normally, forests were allowed to burn so that an uncontrollable wildfire would not occur.

But because I refused to let it happen, I got comfortable within this mask.

When I met him who also donned a mask, I wanted to him to remove it so badly, so that I might see what was underneath, even if I knew that vicariousness was wrong.

I took one step forward, in the direction of the night.

"Hey, Hikigaya-kun, does something genuine really exist…?"

No response came from my back. My words were left to dissipate into blackness. Perhaps, for me, there would never be an answer.

I skipped down the stairs. I had overstayed my welcome. If I had told Hikigaya that, he would probably smirk and ask me why I cared about it now, when I did it all the time.

I turned back to wave him goodbye, secretly hoping that he would blurt out some final nonsense. However, all he did was stand there in a daze, watching me.

I turned around and left through the school gates, the same gates that I found myself going through constantly, well after graduation.

With all the meddling that I've done to them, it wouldn't have been a surprise if he hated me. I wouldn't have minded that, actually. At least I would've been able to confront a true animosity that stemmed from the bottom of his heart.

His response if asked? A blush and averted eyes, followed with "I-I don't hate you."

My actions have given him plenty of regrets. If it wasn't someone as strong as Hikigaya, he would have locked those regrets behind a painted-on smile. If it wasn't someone as kind as Hikigaya, he would have continued to spit venom like a snake.

This was where the mirror ended.

When I faced what lingered for me, I didn't do anything.

When Hikigaya would eventually face what lingered for him, I was sure that he would show me something amazing.