Chapter 39: Part 2

The early days leading up to the Opening Ceremony, the two girls had met the preparations with readiness; each day, up at the crack of dawn, down at the gym and putting meters on the ergs, along with the rest of the rowers, and sharing various other parts of the new athletic center with each and every other competitor. Although upstream river routes were encouraged, every team was allowed two trials in the river's marked course leading up to the start of the rowing events; learning the way the wind patterns moved sweeping across the wide basin of the winding downstream river, noting the many landmarks and bridges, knowing the course route up to the floating starting blocks, warm-up zone, and even the intricacies of buoys marking course itself.

And, with first light breaking once the fanfare and marches had been performed by all the competing countries, flags drawn and anthems ringing powerfully in each team's ears, rowers were early to hit the water in the qualifying Heats beginning the next morning.

Elsa had maintained confidence, with the intensity of their continuous training, Anna's almost obsessive time spent on the erg pulling in even more meters than Elsa herself to the point it felt like she'd go hours without seeing the young woman, that their passage through the early rounds would be the least of their worries; their strength in recent 2k erg pieces being nearly unparalleled compared to their competitors, even when the two averaged their scores together.

However, that belief was only present until they were actually in the depths of their morning Heat, suddenly finding themselves fighting uncomfortably close between a second and third place finish alongside Great Britain for nearly 1500 meters straight, Australia having a solid lead for the majority; the three blue, white, and red colored flags all passing the ending line within a gap totaling 6 seconds. But with a nail bitingly close 1.1 seconds separating the duo from the other European team, whose erg time average was not even remotely close to the Arendelle rowers', even if these rankings didn't matter as much, a third place finish all that was necessary to progress to the next event anyway, Elsa still could not help but leave the race course with a radiating punch of doubt to her gut.

Despite that bit of an upset, at the end of the day, the most important thing was that they had still managed to qualify, staving off the necessary Repechage attempt this Sunday morning for all the losing teams; each country allotted one last shot at making a comeback debut at the Semi Finals. Norway's automatic bid meant that, at long last, after all their many weeks at the grind, the two rowers were awarded a relatively loose day; a grateful day of rest with plenty of carb loading in preparation for the Lightweight Double's Semi-Finals tomorrow. Then, the winners determined across the divisions from that race would be heading to the Finals later that week. And in the blonde's mind, she really hoped that this specific down time, a break physically and mentally, would be exactly what they both severely needed going forward. Something to quell the biting doubt that clung to her long after their oars had been stowed away and over the course of the all too quiet night.

Elsa sat on a bench outside of the Olympic Village entrance, distractedly bouncing her leg as she did her best to patiently wait on the young redhead who, in normal Anna fashion, had forgotten some thing back in the room. In the pleasant peace of the sunny outdoors air, she tried to let her shoulders loosen and accept that it was okay to let her tension slip away, if just for a short while. Trying to keep her mind centered in the moment, she watched the many passer-byers, most of which appeared to be tourists themselves, although she was sure many natives to the city, whether as students or residents, dotted the masses as well.

During her inspection of the different fashion styles seeming to be popular on this side of the pond, she felt her phone buzz and she looked down, seeing the second most familiar name pop up with a new message; the amount of exclamation points in the preview bubble, a bit jarring. Elsa opened the message to see Flynn having sent a link followed by what could only be interpreted as him yelling at her.

'WHAT IN THE MONKEYBALL HELL IS THIS?!'

She sighed, also having an inkling of where this was heading, clicking the linked site which opened to a relatively local news site covering the early events of the Games. The particular article header she saw was covering the Night of Champions Ball and with a collecting breath, scowl tight on her lips, she clicked through the slideshow photo set and about 7 shots in she knew exactly what Flynn's reaction had been referring to. A candid photo of her dance with Belle, the comment attached to it reading: "Even rekindled love was in the air this night. Click here for more in the inside scoop with these noteworthy rowers."

Inside scoop? Ugh. Feeling sick, she closed out of the website, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was hoping to avoid any exposure to the media's take on the topic, ignoring any and all articles and pictures simply for her own sanity, out of sight out of mind, and had been relatively successful, but this only brought back the reality of the all to recent events.

'They are such vultures. Believe me. It is nothing like that. It was a stunt to keep Anna out of the spotlight.'

'well then you did a good job, i can't find anything of gossiping substance posted on her.' Elsa felt her shoulders relax, a weight lifting as she was rewarded with the much needed success in her actions. Thank goodness it all worked! 'but do you swear there's nothing actually going on with Belle?'

She frowned at that, feeling a bit offended. 'Of course not! You should know me better than that. I would never betray Anna by going back to such a problematic relationship.' The next message took a few more minutes to come in, as if containing a bit more thought than the previous assertions.

'true, you wouldn't... but true that i also know you.' Elsa lifted her brows. 'i told you many times how i thought your relationship had gotten toxic and that you should end it. but you argued me every time until you left. and then you pretty much stopped talking to me my whole sophomore year.'

Holding her breath, Elsa felt the message sink in. She leaned her temple into her hand as she stared at the words on her screen.

She tried to forget about that span of time, two years ago now. She had really thought the Freshmen aged Flynn was just being petty of the matter, maybe even a bit jealous, annoyed how she never accepted his constant push for friendship with as welcome of arms as she had with Belle. And it certainly did not help matters that him and Hans had been best friends back then. Sometimes she allowed herself to think back, entertaining the idea that, if she had prioritized his opinion as honest, instead of seeing it as an attack on her judgment, on what she saw in Belle, then things could have been so different; she would not have shut out literally everyone who said the contrary to her belief in a so-called love, maybe have even heeded their concerns.

Feeling her heart weigh with past guilt, reminiscent of how welcoming Flynn had been in the wake of the break up, him saying how honored he felt to be allowed to help shoulder even a small fraction of her pain all the while Elsa had been sure he resented her... He really was such a precious friend. Seeing him be so blunt now, she understood.. and she nearly wanted to cry.

'I'm so sorry, Flynn.'

The message reply came in fast.

'hey, im not saying this to make you feel guilty. she was a bad influence..' Elsa hated to associate herself with the notion, but she knew there was a bit of time where her status and Belle's influence had left her with a bit of an ego, nothing she was proud of, and something that colored her outward appearances for way too long. Something to hold onto, an arrogant facade for her pride to save face in reality after leaving the world she was exiled from, sadly coming to see that it was hurting those around her, and only worsening the feelings of herself. 'and i just REALLY don't want to see you get swept up by her again.'

She could hear the sincere concern come through the text, she scrunched her nose, suddenly noticing the growing stuffiness in her breath. Shit. This was getting to her more than she had expected.

'I do understand. I was an ignorant imbecile in the past. Both you and Anna have helped me see that, and I refuse to ever go back now.' She hurried to add, 'Believe me, Flynn. Like we talked about before the Hopefuls race. I will do everything to do right by Anna, protect her at all costs, because she has shown me what love actually is. I will not let Belle take that away.'

It was a few minutes before she received a massively spammed train of crying emojis.

'wahhhhhh my beautiful baby sis is growing up and in so much love!'

Rubbing the ball of her palm against her eye, she snorted thickly. 'I am no where close to being your "baby sis", but.. yes.' She smiled here, writing the last message. 'I am.'

She lightly dabbed her fingers past the corner of her eyes once more, hoping her make-up had not been disturbed. She really did not need her childhood friend coming and making her turn into a tearful mess right now. Today was the two's first time getting to just go out and have fun in the foreign city, and she wanted to look nice. Really, she wanted to make sure she was dolled up enough to catch a specific redhead's eye.

Playing with a loose curl that rested against her temple, she noticed the body step up in front of her, old scuffed converse sneakers the first thing she noticed. She looked up, scanning the younger woman, loose evergreen colored cargo shorts, and a somewhat loose t-shirt tucked partially at the waist; her twin braids dangling over the front of her shoulders in their usual whimsical manner. Under the morning's bright sun, her naturally tan cheeks were already lit up with a light bronze, practically illuminating each star of her face's constellations.

Elsa bit her lip, standing, sliding her phone into her pocket and tugging the strap of her purse across her torso. "You look.. really cute," she managed with a bit of a bashful smile along with the understatement of a compliment, eyes trying to not let her eyes linger too long in one place, despite her wish to just stare and appreciate.

Anna blinked, appearing to startle for a second before blushing. She tucked her hair behind her ear, taking a step back. "Hah. Thanks.. figured it was going to be hot, so.." She turned, lifting her hand to her eyes, blocking the sun, peering down the sidewalk before pointing. "I think the train system we need is over there. Let's go!"

Standing in place for a moment, Elsa watched the other athlete begin to walk off without any other word. Her navy eyes fell, closing for three long heart beats, as she took a deep breath, shaking the sullen vibes from her chest.

"You'll solve this.." she whispered to herself, tone searching for self assurance, eyes slowly opening and looking after the other body, steeling her resolve to figure out what on earth was going on with the young woman; to figure it out before their quickly approaching next race. "We need to talk about what's happening.."

Forcing belief into those words, the older rower did her best to put on her best smile to continue to provide whatever she could to support what ever possibly could be continuing to plague the woman's attention so terribly. She headed toward where Anna stood waiting beneath a large 'T' sign at the train station, praying immensely that the younger rower would come out and truthfully answer any of her questions.

...

"I guess I get to do that Christmas in July shopping spree after all!" Anna called in a light joke as she pressed her face into the small shop window. Elsa smiled toward the young woman, enjoying seeing the light that filled the rower's expression as her eyes danced across various shops.

After the race, such a light was absent for a while, not that Anna was reliably making much eye-contact with her as the training days had progressed anyway. But just seeing a few seconds of joy was soothing to the blonde's sore heart, like watching a child's elation on the Christmas morning Anna was distantly hinting at. She was ready to stop at every single shop in the city if Anna would have this expression each time..

When they picked a rather large shop to stop into, one of those gift stores that essentially stocked everything under the sun, Anna darted off to a novelty section while Elsa kept near the front. To her side she noticed a wall of what looked like little game cartridges. Were these the same as what Anna had been playing a few nights ago? Peaking back across the room where the redhead had her nose buried in some sort of book, Elsa wiggled her lips. Maybe if I get her something, she may feel better from that race.. She had not gotten the girl a gift since her birthday, and now felt like a good time to do something special.

Looking at the games along the wall, she inspected the various covers, having absolutely no clue what any of these sort of things could be about. She grabbed one with a puppy on it, one that had some bright colored cartoon characters, and another box that was tinier but looked mildly educational. A perfect mix.

She marched over to the clerk, letting the boxes plop onto the counter, and in her best English she asked, "Are these for The GameBoys?" When the man looked at the pile with a quirked brow, he nodded.

The purchase was in a bag dangling from her hand a minute later as she tried to discreetly head back toward the front door to wait for the redhead, quite pleased with herself at finding a gift so easily (picking Anna's birthday gift, despite deceivingly simple, had been a nightmare). She hoped this little pick-me-up would do the trick and bring a real smile back to the bright speckled face, even if for just a brief moment.

Should I give it to her now, or maybe wait until we get back, she began to wonder while opening her phone, checking through some emails distractedly, thumb tapping open the only one she currently had starred at the top.

Then, a message bubble popped up at the top of her screen, interrupting her. Reading the name on the message made her eyes widen. She briefly glanced to the side, seeing the younger athlete happily bounce over to the t-shirt selection, still pleasantly engaged with the store's many items, before she leaned herself against a nearby wall, thumb swiping the screen open.

'Hey, are you free for lunch? Maybe a coffee? Just as friends.'

A frown came to her face.

Why was this damn woman so insistent on reconnecting; apparently now as just friends. It seemed Elsa's point of disinterest in her had come across at least somewhat the other night. But could they even be friends at this point? Was that even possible? Elsa was certain that that ship had long since sailed.

And even if it were the slightest bit possible, even if she did want to see if they could salvage any kind of friendship out this terrible wreckage, it would not feel right in the least. Not with Anna's presence anyway. The redhead needn't be bothered by this stuff. Elsa knew full-well first hand how miserable it felt watching the person you love socializing with people so overtly coming on to them; admirers with their flirty words, touches that toed the line of amicable and something more. It could be played off, time and time again, by the receiver of such attention, but the ache of just knowing it was happening never lessened. Elsa was sure that Belle would not go into a friendship without some of those same behaviors creeping up now and then, incrementally seeing how far she could push the matter.. No. There was absolutely no way she wanted Anna subjected to the same problems she herself had gone through over the stretch of a painful year and a half.

It was settled. She had to get her Ex off her back, on all accounts.

'Too busy.'

Typing it felt.. off. Elsa wondered if it was a smart thing to do, giving in to the pressure with a response, period, regardless of what it said. She had not responded to any of the brunette's pestering messages in so long, always choosing to delete the few sporadic texts popping up in her inbox the past year. And she had done very well at simply deleting the sparse check-ins Belle always called them, no matter how much the messages initially bothered her. Yet, despite the otherwise complete radio silence, the Singles rower persisted in her actions still; to the point of going as far as she had, so brazenly, openly, approaching her with such power and confidence at the Night of Champions.

There must have been some other means to shake her; another means to stop all of her bothersome actions from popping up unsolicited. Something to fully stop her pursuit before Anna could begin to wonder; already having to surely suffer through seeing that embarrassing dance was enough and something Elsa wished she could have had the wherewithal to stop it sooner. Alas, Elsa kept coming up at a loss as she tried her best to think of whatever other means she had to establish her point, firmly and without a shadow of a doubt. Her eyes became lidded as she stared through her phone.

If she could have simply confirmed, then and there that night, that her relationship with Anna was indeed exactly what Belle suspected, exactly what the bastard had purposefully tried to expose no doubt to stir up tension, would that have been enough to deter the brunette? Would she have actually backed down, folding her cards and accepting the loss? No matter how sweet and simple Elsa wished such a reaction could have come from the information, she also had an inkling that she had, in the end, made the best choice; that it wouldn't have mattered her answer in the grand scheme of things, and quite possibly have even been used against her.

No one knew Belle quite like her. The woman was ungodly determined; once a goal was set in her mind, she made it happen, no questions asked and with steadfast intention in her plans. Honestly, Elsa couldn't recall any time that Belle stated one of her aspirations and had not been successful in the endeavors to achieve it. The woman, no matter how infuriating for many reasons, had to admittedly be commended for that part of her abilities.

But Elsa was just as equally steadfast and focused, learning from the best to be the best. If Belle had set her current goal on winning Elsa's attention over again, more than she currently has in frustratingly occupying much more of her thoughts than Elsa had allowed for months, Elsa would have none of it. She would stay her own course; stay in her own lane. And she knew it would be easy because she was not alone.

Blue eyes skittered over to where the young bow seat rower skimmed over another row of kitschy touristy things, probably having inspected the entire shop by this point. A gentle smile came to her face, complimenting the hardened determination forming around her resolve. It was easy to overcome any adversity, any trial, even the most emotionally manipulating things Belle could stir inside of her by playing with her bittersweet nostalgia, when it was Anna at her side.

Another message buzzed in and Elsa wanted to roll her eyes seeing the same sender in the open thread; as she had ruefully expected, a response equaled an allowance for back and forth discourse to begin. Maybe she really should just delete the whole thread and continue on as she had been. Besides, at this point what would another response matter. What difference-

"Did you buy something?"

Elsa startled, turning and hurriedly sliding her phone into her pocket. "Oh..! Yeah," she said, wiggling the bag a little. She glanced to Anna's hands seeing a much larger paper bag. "Um, you too?"

The redhead nodded. "Yeah, figured I'd get all my souvenirs for everyone." Anna had made sure to show each of the various items she had bought for her friends and aunt and uncle while the two began a walk out of the Faneuil Hall shopping district, moving north along the streets with a general goal of heading toward the described park center of the coastal city.

Elsa had to admit that there was something nice about the anonymity of their outing; literal miles away from their uniforms, dressed in casual clothes among the massive crowds in the Boston Commons. She was just thankful that when it came to media coverage, the two newcomers were kept out of the major spotlight, unlike Team USA that seemed to blow up every news outlet with commercials and grand displays with interviews and back stories. Of course there were a number of Norway's members to obtain status and sponsorship like that, but of the rowing team, only the Women's Eight and the their prized Single rower (because of course Belle would be one of them) seemed to be the 'faces' of the country. Not like Elsa's face would ever be anyway. However, she would not look a gift horse in the mouth how they stayed beneath the radar thus far, allowed privacy for the most part. Though, she had an inkling that as time progressed, while the matches' competitors narrowed, the spotlight would soon land on them. So she would enjoy this space from the fame until then.

At this time, under the beautiful fully bloomed flowers and lush trees, no one would recognize them at a passing glance. No one would make mention of their names or rush to meet them. No one would think to question their most benign of actions.

Checking the younger woman, she bit her lip, eyes falling from the curious expression surveying the vicinity down to the swaying tan hand moving in time just inches from her own. She darted her eyes to the side, before sneaking a glance back. Would Anna mind if they held hands? It wasn't like anyone knew who they were right now..

With the most smooth subtlety she had been trained with, she let her fingers brush down the open palm to the small divides between peachy fingers, but before she could interlock their hands, Anna just lightly shook it off, hands coming to slide into her shorts' pockets.

Hating the surge of disappointment the rejection brought up, Elsa tensed her jaw, hand coming tightly back to her side as if to pretend that nothing had happened, trying to remain as unbothered by the action as possible.

It was a stupid thing to try. They were still out in public, so of course this was just Anna's way to indicate she still wasn't comfortable with such public displays of affection and Elsa immediately chastised herself for over-stepping. She should have known better. She had always set intimacy boundaries, and Anna always respected it. She had to do the same here! Blindly assuming that the redhead was okay with it was a novice error, probably just her desperation for physical closeness getting the better of her.

Trying to distract herself, and stifle the heat of embarrassment coming to her face, she immediately pulled out her phone again. Not actually expecting to see anything useful in her action, just a means to focus her eyes on something as she trained her racing thoughts, she happened to check the time. With widening eyes, she startled, instantly pulling up her maps, typing in a quick Google Maps search.

Under her breath, she muttered. "Come on. We got to go.." Patting the girl's forearm, already turning from the looping path they were on, heading toward the Commons' exit gate. She heard the girl behind her make a noise of confusion, before rapid footsteps trotted up beside her again. Elsa wondered if maybe this actually played off her awkwardness as an attempted means to grab the young girl's attention.. but, really, they did have to go.

...

She brought them to the Esplanade path that wound high along the river's edges, thankfully not being more than a 20 minute walk from the park, where they saw the mass of Eights getting lined up down over the river.

"The Women's Eight Heat 1 got moved up an hour due to weather conditions this afternoon," she had said to the questioning rower in transit who's eyes went wide, practically upping the speed of their already brisk walk.

"I can't believe I almost missed my favorite event!" she shouted hands flying to the banister over looking the water the second that they arrived. Elsa had stepped up beside her a few seconds later, not having sprinted the last few steps in the same way her partner did. She could feel a cool gust of wind pass over her shoulders traveling toward the Cambridge side of the large river; probably the reason for the time switch.

The view itself wasn't very nice, a bit down from the starting line, around the first 250m mark; the hottest place for any race being the Finish line for obvious reasons, but this would have to do.

The more stoic rower smiled, watching the redhead lean her chest over the railing, cupping her hands around her mouth with a whooping cheer as the boats were lining up for the event. Following suit, leaning up against the railing, Elsa rested her head in her palm, eyes not leaving the happy girl. It had felt like eons since she had seen a real smile light up the other rower's face the way she knew seeing this particular event Live would, and seeing it here, now, made her realize how much she'd missed it in every other aspect of her day to day life.

Now, it wasn't as if the rowing newcomer hadn't expressed any happiness or excitement since they had first arrived (the redhead's personality was too exuberant for that). It had nothing to do with that she was not smiling, but that every time she smiled at Elsa, it stopped feeling genuine. As if a sparkle dimmed, eyes not quite squinting in the way they usually did. And for the love of everything, Elsa still could not figure out why!

How long had it been since Anna last really smiled at her? The Night of Champions, after they shared that lovely dance? Goodness, Anna was so radiant that night.. Wracking her brain, Elsa could not recall seeing that degree of happiness lighting up the sweet face since! It made her heart ache, wondering what could be happening with the redhead.

At first she had thought maybe tiredness at the start of the trip, travel and getting their bearings did take a lot of recovery. But when it just continued, she wondered if the girl's nerves were catching up with her; overwhelmed by the happenings. Anna had denied it, each and every time she was posed any question, and instead, the young rower turned it around and verbalized her excitement, still eagerly dragging them to train at the Olympic Village gymnasium each morning and afternoon in preparation.

If not either of those reasons, what other big things could be left?

Elsa had been pondering it these past nights, knowing by the quiet snores beside her that she had been staying up much later than the redhead for once; even attempting to use Google to search some ideas but where could she even start? At some point, last night, she began to consider a new reason.

Deep blue eyes scanned over the still beaming face, cheering along with the crowd to whatever was going on out on the water.

Elsa had never been ashamed to be with Anna. Never. In reality, Elsa had always been proud of knowing Anna was at her side; had chosen her.. The girl was a precious ray of absolute sunshine, no matter how she humbly claimed to not be very social in the past or have the biggest group of friends. Her spirited and warm personality won over the hearts of everyone she met, whether developing deep bonds with them or not. It was a simple fact; a skill not everyone could carry. One skill which she herself lacked in its entirety.

Thus, knowing all that, she had wanted nothing more than to always protect that image from the world; preserve it as the innocent sweetness it was. Honestly, as they navigated the relationship waters, equally keeping an understanding and openness of communication in these past rolling months, the only thing that had ever held her back from shouting it from the rooftops, figuratively of course (more so meaning open to stating they were what they were if asked), was her concern of soiling the girl's name. Of accidentally opening floodgates of negativity that had no right being associated with her partner. And even Anna had finally voiced that hesitance..

Could it be that now that Anna had seen the flashy world of professional rowing first hand, heard how people actually spoke of the rumored Ice Queen, asked the innocent girl those stupid prying questions in her very first non-consensual interview, and even fielding some more fairly awkward ones as time had gone on over their first days.. had she started to realize that Elsa had been right all along? Maybe she finally realized that she did not want to be associated with such an awful person who's baggage would only continue to drag them both down in the long run.

Any time this worry came up in the past, Anna had simply dismissed it, only before their Hopeful's race finally seeming to understand its weight, yet still her words of reassurance persevered. Anna had been steadfast in always telling Elsa she would remain at her side, come what may. How it didn't matter how the media painted either of them. That Elsa was who mattered.

All of that said, it did not automatically mean that she'd be willing to stick around as a lover, though. Overlooking these kind of things as a generic teammate was one thing; just as their rowing agreement had started as, it can be as simple as a business transaction. Elsa was too familiar with this notion. She had seen it, been a part of it, and she loathed to deal with it again. But, in the recent absence of their previous physical connection, and the lack of alternative causes, Anna having dismissed each and every one of her queries as they arose, Elsa could not help but come to this conclusion.

Biting her lip there, small sigh passing through her nose, Elsa hoped it was not the case.. that there was something else she simply could not see. The idea of Anna being afraid of continuing on with her, of Anna no longer loving her.. Her heart constricted, feeling so sore, so tired, from this returning thought haunting her nights, turning her eyes to the water since their first night.

She did not even realize the first race had long since passed them along the race course, to focused in her head.

There had to be another reason. There had to..! But what else had changed?

She blinked, remembering one absolutely massive elephant in the room. Anna's interaction with Belle..

Much like the popularity of the paparazzi, could it be that Belle was the catalyst to the always happy girl's subconscious depression? A thought. Had Belle somehow said something, anything, to Anna, potentially hurting the young girl again? Did they have another run in that embarrassed Anna in some way? Wait. Could.. could she have gotten Anna's number from Hans, simply to mess with the young woman? Mind stringing together the idea and weighing the plausibility, heart elated to welcome something other than her previous worry, couldn't help herself from frantically delving into this..

An instant later, as subtly as she could, lifting her phone just out of her pocket, her thumbs were darting across her keyboard. She stopped when she was done, finger quivering over the send button. Should she..? She glanced back over at the quiet girl who patiently awaited the race buzzers with eyes trained down the race course, and she frowned.

Oh, what did it matter now, she had already opened the two way text conversation with her stupid messages earlier. Internally sighing in frustration at the situation, needing to get to the bottom of what could be bothering the non-forthright woman ASAP, she reluctantly sent the inquiry.

'Have you said anything to Anna, recently?'

The response took a second shy of one minute to return.

'why would I talk to your partner? Didn't you tell me not to bother her?'

Elsa frowned. Yes, she did, but had she really thought Belle would honor a request like that? Honestly, her guard had been up since that time, so needless to say it was a bit surprising. It made her furrow her brows, original question set aside as she thought more of Belle's input. Did she really still know the elite Single's rower from last year? Although her confident actions had been quite familiar, as Belle always came across in her endeavors, this time her approaches had been more.. receptive, at least relatively speaking.

Mentally rolling her eyes, she dispelled the notion. No, she didn't need to deal with this. She was already way too busy occupying her thoughts with figuring out the cause of distance in the redhead.

'I was curious if you had apologized at any point for being rude to her when you met. That is all.'

'Seriously? "rude"? She really said that? I knew she was young but that's just immature'. Elsa had been paraphrasing, actually, reading between the lines of Anna's tone when she explained the initial run-in. It had bothered her deeply, hearing her innocent Anna sounding dismayed by the implication her Ex had brought up. 'she may have been offended when i asked about you, but I couldn't help myself after what i had heard..'

Elsa stared blankly at the screen, irritation rising to her pursed lips, ignoring the final side note Belle tried to slide in. Not the time right now, or ever.

So Belle wasn't the culprit, either. It only made her deflate that much more, too eager to allow her hopeful spirits to rise at finding something to place the blame.

Besides the slowly increasing drop off the girl initiating affection, even within the quiet safety of their private room, the distance carried over to their most basic exchanges at their daily practices. Anna barely said much of anything any more after their work-outs; no questions, no hint of input, mere acceptance of Elsa's coaching words with no other discussion.

This stood out, in particular, aggravatingly so, and not just having been the literal beginning of what they first would talk about, but it made words Belle had once told her to remember, way way back in her Freshman year: "Never worry when a coach constantly berates and critiques your rowing performance; worry when they stop giving you feedback. Comments stop because you're no longer worth their attention."

It stung, because Belle had essentially become her private coach back then, following that exact rule; pushing her so hard in her training with next to no reprieve, but she never gave up, even when the two had rocky days, even when their relationship occasionally teetered over the edge of business instead of romance, Belle still gave undivided attention to what skills Elsa needed most to get to Nationals and stay there.

To think that even a tiny part of her relationship with the brunette could have actually maintained some positivity when comparing to what was happening with Anna made her stomach sink with an empty clunk resounding in her gut. All of this evidence only came right back around to support her earlier conclusion.

Her hand gripped the metal railing, trying to stabilize herself, feeling another warm gust of air pass over them; its lightness almost strong enough to knock her knees. A loud buzzer blasted in the distance, soon accompanied by whooping calls from beside her.

"They qualified! Woohoo!" shouted the freckled girl, face lit up with joy. She turned and looked at the older rower quickly before glancing back to the water. She lifted her hand to motion. "Want to go further down to see better? Maybe they'll let us on the bridge to see the next race? The Fours are supposed to compete after I think"

Elsa took a second before moving her head, following the extended hand toward the long bridge spanning over the center 1000m of the race course, roped off for only officials and quite possibly some athletes. Blues eyes came back to the redhead and she nodded, feeling almost winded under the lack of eye contact.

"Of course," she said, making sure she had a smile already set on her face when aqua orbs landed on her again. She will never know how she managed to keep the tremor from her voice. "Anything you'd like."

…

It was a nice, neutral outing, the rest of the Eights' 4 Heats passing perfectly on a rigorously strict, albeit modified, schedule. Elsa had done her best to grin through it all, wishing to feed off of her bow seat's energy when watching the large foreign boats, but she would be honest to admit that she had absolutely no idea of which countries qualified for the Finals; despite getting a pretty good view of the finish area and an earful from her partner and the loud announcers.

The blonde rower could almost say the same thing about their current trajectory, just going along with what Anna suggested. Were they going back to the Village already? Or did she want to try a restaurant of some sort? Should she bother to clarify? It wasn't like it would make much of a difference, especially just to have that painfully placating expression glance at her with the generic answer. Elsa just stayed quiet on the walk, letting her usual beacon of light be the guide.

At one point, they passed a store situated randomly around what seemed like a business center. "Oh wow," Anna murmured looking at the signs hanging in the store window. Elsa noticed a bunch of phone images hung around the prices, and one glance up to the dangling sign over the door, she confirmed it was indeed a cellular service shop. "There are some good deals here.."

The blonde stepped up beside the small body, her voice subdued. "Want to get a new phone?"

Startling, either from the sudden proximity change or the fact Elsa had not said a word for the last 15 minutes, Anna just shook her head. "Ah.. no. I still can't afford it yet."

"I'll help you pay." Sparkling aqua eyes looked up at her, question and concern in them. But Elsa tilted her head, trying to keep a gentle expression in place, although unable to stop the wonder of why Anna looked in such disbelief. "It's not a big deal, really.. Besides, it's something you ought to have." She lifted her index finger, thinking about the rewards paid out to the winning Olympians. "Pay me back if we medal."

The shorter of the two scratched the back of her neck, a light pink dusting her cheeks. She squeaked out a quiet, "Deal."

Noticing the all too familiar reticence, Elsa forced herself to ignore the pangs it elicited, giving an encouraging smile while already opening the store's door. "Of course. Let's go take a look."

While Anna searched throughout the main displays, Elsa just took slow steps, browsing the random items for sale, again, not fully attending to anything, until her gaze swept over a TV in the corner, broadcasting upcoming events for the next few days, causing her mind to slip toward thoughts of tomorrow.

I'm still no closer to knowing what's on her mind, she thought sadly. I was hoping a break while doing things she enjoyed, without my pestering, would make her feel comfortable talking to me. And seeing the races, maybe getting her to talk more about what had happened.. Blue eyes stared at the screen as replays of the Repechage Double's event from this morning came up; seeing the multitude of teams they barely beat out of the running in the first go, noting who would be their competition going into tomorrow.

Strength. Power. Something both woman had. It was important, but could never win a race alone. Technique. Ability. The other main factors, which both rowers also maintained, exceptionally so. However, the final component, to any multi-rower boat, was the commutation; trust. The things which allowed opportunity for the most in-tuned understanding of their boat's workings at any given time; to understand their fellow rowers at any given millisecond, moving as one body, one boat. Without the synchrony that they always brought to their races, the two Arendelle rowers would never be at their best.

What would that mean for tomorrow? She had to admit it. At this rate, if Anna won't let me in, won't let us try to fix this whatever is wrong together, we are definitely going to lose.

"Elsa?" She was snapped from her derailing thoughts. Dark blues searched quickly toward the voice, seeing Anna giving her an odd look before glancing back at a black cased phone. She lifted it up, turning it side to side. "I think I want this one.. the i-phones didn't impress me much."

The blonde walked over, looking at the Samsung model, checking the retail price while doing the quick currency conversion calculation in her mind, and then nodding. "Let's get it then. Go pick a case, too." At the look she received Elsa shook her head. "These things are not as indestructible as your brick of a flip-phone.." She gave a knowing look and the redhead stopped her rebuttal, pout replacing it, accepting the implied reminder that she did not live up to her middle name. A few moments later, she returned with a colorful green case. Elsa gathered the items with Anna having to fall into step beside her, and the blonde hummed. "And since it's not an i-phone, let's grab a back-up battery while we're at it. This way you're all set." Again the smaller girl went to retort but Elsa silenced her with a hard shake of her head, unable to help a small smirk slip to her lips. "Nuh uh. Queen's orders."

The expression, and the playful quip did their job, silencing the protesting woman with a slight stutter. Happy with her successful word choice, and enjoying the little appreciating smile and head shake it extracted, Elsa turned back to her task.

The blonde stepped forward to the clerk, doing her best to scrape up the bits of English she recalled from her younger elementary school days, not having focused it too much in her separate language studies. But she assumed her point was made as the gentleman went into the back room.

"Thank goodness you know enough English," whispered Anna, bringing a smile to Elsa's lips, enjoying the impressed tone at seeing even one of her most mundane abilities. No matter what, Anna had always maintained the enthusiasm when seeing Elsa's multi-lingual skills at work; she would be lying if she hadn't missed their TA meet ups this past spring. It was a refreshing gift to hear it now.

A moment later, the man reemerged with the new item and went about explaining the details. Elsa appreciated how he used simple terms, re-explaining some of the information with multiple words, making certain she understood every primary detail in the purchase. Finally she turned to the redhead.

"They just need to transfer all of the data stored on your phone over into the new one. This way, your media files and contacts are all saved." Taking out the small flip-phone, Anna handed it over to the man. A few moments into the process, the clerk said something the Elsa, who frowned, turning to the bemused redhead. "He's asking if you need a large audio file on there. I guess the old phone model makes it risky for data loss while transferring."

A confused face deepening, brows drawn, Anna was handed back the electronic to check, clicking into the audio file section. "Jeeze I haven't gone into this part since.." She frowned. "..since the Orchestra, when Hans showed me how to record and set audios.."

Watching closely, Elsa's eyes danced between Anna and the cellphone. She watched as the highlighted selection stopped on a specific file, noticing how the tan skinned girl's face paled to an ashen white. Quickly, she brought her head in to Anna's level, quietly asking, "Anna, what's wrong?"

Silent, standing still as stone, Anna just clicked to play the largest file, apparently the one the clerk had asked about, All Elsa could tell was it was maxed at a 5 minute length, with the date sometime back in mid-December. There was shuffling and rough static crinkling over the receiver, immediately revealing a location likely covered by fabric, as if stuck in a pocket. But then a familiar voice came over the audio; the static crackles only minimally distorting of the man's identity. It was audible, mumbling and distant, but she could clearly make out Hans' malicious voice. His slurred words, and soon, even Anna's own, grumbled, but just clear enough.

"Let's make a deal.."

"Um, there is no deal to be made here.."

"..Oh, my dear, but indeed there is.."

Anna's hand had flown to her mouth, eyes widening, staring at the screen, hand beginning to shake in her hand as the implicating words continued to come through the tiny speaker, a bit electronic, but unfortunately fortunate to be clear as day.

Elsa's jaw clenched, hearing the beginning string of requests, live time, during that moment, in Hans' voice.. She hurriedly turned away, telling the store clerk that they would keep the file on the current device and to post-pone transferring, thanking him for giving them the heads up. Standing at the counter to finish the transaction, she watched as Anna had wandered over to the wall, still staring down at the device, undoubtedly listening to it in its entirety; so brave.

Biting her lip, Elsa brought her gaze to the counter as she waited. After everything going on between them, it felt incredibly invasive for her to hear anything more than what she just had in that bout of surprise, at least unless Anna gave her permission. Not exactly that she ever wanted to physically hear that conversation, but she would have listened through it for Anna's sake.

She simply couldn't believe it. And judging by the shock in round cerulean eyes, Anna was in the exact same state of disbelief. Somehow, that night with Hans, in all his coercive acts that Elsa could only hope to never imagine, the girl's phone must have done that, what is it called, 'butt-dialing' thing. She managed to knock the exact two outer buttons necessary for auto-record. How was it possible? One in a million billion chance? But it happened. The degree of which she felt shaken made her momentarily begin to second guess her belief on the concept of fated 'luck' after all..

When she finally finished up, she saw Anna had left the store, and she found her on a bench outside. "Anna.. are you okay?" She couldn't help herself from letting her hand brush against the freckled bicep, words achingly concerned as she took a seat beside her partner.

Honestly, she was expecting to find the redhead in complete disarray, teary eyed, maybe incredibly close to punching something. Hell, she felt like punching that bastard in the face again just hearing his voice, let alone the content, and the goddamn context. But, of every possible reaction this sort of situation could call for, she was definitely not expecting the bright toothy grin to be smiling up at her. In a stunned second, she felt the girl's name breathe past her lips in question.

"The file has a date and time stamp and gets him confessing!" she said excitedly. "Hans confirmed this date at the hearing. All that was missing was this evidence for the court to sentence him!"

As Elsa blinked, astonished eyes rounding, processing the information, and although smiling at the acknowledgment, she still cautioned, "But will they believe this is him by audio alone? He could argue that it's someone else's voice.."

Anna wasted no time selecting the file right above it, stamped from the week or so prior. The same voice came through, this time louder and mildly clearer, but the voice was the same: "This is Hans Svik calling Anna Suvi. Come in, Anna. Do you read me?"

She was still grinning, flipping the phone shut between her palm with a proud 'clack.' "Got him!" She shook her head, still in shock. "I really can't believe this.. Kristoff is going to be so amped when I tell him," she laughed, playing with the small brick of a device. "I guess you were right to suggest getting the new phone.. I never tried to use that feature again, so it obviously wouldn't have occurred to me.." She looked up to see the blonde woman looking at her with an adoring expression, small plastic bag in her hand being passed over to the redhead. Anna murmured a gentle 'thank you.'

"Well I'm sure this is cause for celebration. How about an ice cream at the Dining Hall?"

Elated, Anna nodded hopping to her feet in a leap, letting Elsa lead the way back to the train station. "Yes! It's getting cloudy anyway." Her voice trailed into a musical hum.

From a few side-eye glances down at the content freckled face, so peaceful and happy, grinning cheek to cheek, adorable dimples so giddily on display, with sparkling eyes still locked on the old phone treasure trove in her hand, Elsa's heart cracked painfully at the scene.

When on Earth had any thoughts of Hans been able to bring a real smile to Anna's cherished face while she herself could not?

...

The dimming light was barely visible through the windows when the rowers arrived back at their issued room, shadowed by evening rain clouds rolling in; the lack of midnight sun which the pair were used to almost making the fatigue of each day feel like it set in earlier and earlier, this day even more so.

Anna strutted back into the room, a cheerful smile still lingering on her face, while she chattered on about the various athlete highlighted stories playing on the local televisions, of course focusing on her specific favorites. "..and the one where Merida was standing with Joy and Kiara had to be my favorite! I love hearing how all of them are friends."

The blonde had simply accepted the rambling since the Dining Hall with little nods, not catching too much as Anna tended to string random thoughts together on her retells, but now that the redhead had a little bit of time to calm herself being in the room, Elsa took the opportunity to finally give in to what she had been wanting to do for a number of hours now.

"Oh, hey, by the way, I had gotten you something.." murmured the blonde a bit shyly, although anxiously having held back merely tossing the item at the subdued girl earlier, pulling the bag she'd be inconspicuously holding their whole time shopping out from behind her back, offering it to the surprised woman with a rigidly extended arm.

Anna looked from Elsa to the bag and back, brows lifting in surprise. "You did? Why?" she asked as she took the bag, opening its contents.

Shrugging, Elsa tucked her hands behind her back, twisting a little smile on her lips. Anna looked at the game boxes, turning toward the giddy looking woman.

Teal eyes had softened and a silly chuckle fell around them, shoulders actually rumbling with it. Elsa tilted her head, confused. Anna held up the items. "You bought me two 3DS games, and the one DS you got is crossword puzzles."

Elsa felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment at the mistake; with deduction alone, apparently there were differences between these 'DS' games. She should have checked her phone about the games, rather than trusting an employee to know what she was looking for.. even if she had not exactly asked any clarifying questions at the time.. She had been so focused on merely buying the gifts, as if it were an urgent matter. She remembered how delighted Anna had been at just receiving a pair of silly novelty socks on her birthdays, and all she wanted was to relive that exuberance again. These barely made a dent in lessening that stupid sad expression.

Anna had given an empathetic smile. "It's okay. I should probably get the new game system anyway. And now I'll be all set to play!" Her eyes slid closed on that last part, with Elsa practically feeling the attempted reassurance at her stupid mess up. "But.." Blue eyes blinked hearing the trailed off voice. "You need to stop buying me all these things." She almost seemed.. distraught at the idea. Elsa felt worry rise inside her.

Making a disgruntled expression, the older woman placed her hands on her hips. "How come? Do you not enjoy it?" It was something she found was actually a nice feeling to gift something, even if her intentions were mostly to lay eyes upon the young woman's hopefully happy reaction more than anything. "The phone you needed and.. the other things.." She knew her face was heating at having to explain herself under scrutiny she did not expect at all. "I-I just wanted to." Her hands wrung together as she trailed off. Was this not something she should do? Couples do get each other gifts out of the blue, do they not? Maybe Anna didn't like this kind of act. The young girl had never been one for material items. Not with her modest upbringing.. She bowed her head. "Sorry if it's too much. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.."

Taking a slow look over the apologetic face, the redhead fit the items back into the bag, turning to lay it on the nightstand. She shrugged, sending another awkward smile over her shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'm just not used to it." A few seconds later, she had sat on the bed, fluffing up her pillows. "Can we call it early tonight? I want to make sure we make up for yesterday.." It was the first time Anna made mention of yesterday's trouble, albeit vague, at least it was a start.

"Ah, yeah.. and about what happened in our last.." she started, hopefulness rising in her voice before Anna hopped to her feet again, bustling about the room.

"I think we just need to go over our game plan again.. the first race, there was probably a lot on our minds. I'll make sure to focus my steering more. I think the sun glare wasn't helping either, so I'm going to bring my sunglasses." She dismissed the older woman's words with a roll of her wrist as she quickly filled the space with explanation. "We should probably get up earlier to make sure the Dining Hall isn't overrun. I will not row on an empty stomach, after all!"

Watching the scene, listening to the deflecting words, dark eyes moved to fall over the gift bag, discarded by the wayside, before nodding, feeling close to defeat. "Yeah.. early sounds good.." Her hands squeezed tightly behind her back as she fought off the roller coaster plummet happening in her stomach. This had not at all been what she was expecting to come from this conversation..

With the gentle pitter patter of rain rapping at the window, it was not much later when Elsa found herself pulled up behind the figure on the bed, who had already tucked herself into the sheets, and taken to playing with different settings on her new smartphone.

Carefully, as she had done nearly every evening during that summer, she let her hand come over the smaller woman's abdomen, resting her nose and forehead against the base of a lightly speckled neck.

For a few seconds, she held her breath. Why? She wasn't sure. Or more so, she wasn't sure why she felt this nervous. As if she were crossing a line.. like she wasn't allowed to do this.. which was such a silly thought! Anna had said nothing to the contrary of closeness, and had downright requested Elsa try to be open physically when they had first moved in together. Even if it was still primarily the redhead who would initiate a lot the more intimate moments between them, Elsa was not so closed away in her own comfort seeking anymore. It made the distance between their touch feel all that greater.

Her eyes grew lidded as she breathed in the girl's familiar scent below her nose. We're not meant to win tomorrow, are we.. All because I can't get her to be honest with me, I'll have failed at getting Anna to greatness..

That thought made sadness begin to fill her stomach. How could she let herself neglect this? She should have been reading Anna closer. She thought she had gotten so much better at that..!

In the silence of her distracted thoughts, she hadn't even realized she had started to squeeze the body tighter to her, causing a small grunt to come from the smaller girl.

"Oof, Elsa, your grip," she moaned rather strained with an inhale. The blonde instantly loosened the hold, breathing an apology. A second following, she felt the smaller body roll over, hand coming to rest between them, clear cerulean eyes looking straight at her in the dimly lit room. "S'fine," she said gently, before lifting her brows in concern. "What's on your mind?"

Elsa's first response was to mumble a dismissing 'nothing', but at the redhead's unimpressed expression, she knew she could not hide it. It was one of only a few times she felt like she really had Anna's attention nowadays. She couldn't blow it.

"I'm really worried about tomorrow.." Teal eyes became round and Anna extended a hand to brush Elsa's hair aside briefly.

"You sound like me before the Hopefuls race," she said lightly before shaking her head. "But I explained it before. We'll fix those things. We'll be well rested to push through the race. And plus, our 2k average is way above the other 5 boats."

The blonde lowered her gaze. "You know strength and stamina is only part of it. Synchronization and communication is key."

"But our mental synchronization-"

"-Or rather lack of is going to be our undoing." Anna stopped, eyes widening on the stony look being sent her way. Elsa was serious. "I feel like.. I haven't gotten to be close to you recently."

Anna lifted her brow. "How? We've literally spent every day together since we got here." There was a small smile that lifted at her pink lips, but Elsa's eyes only fell away. It wasn't the normal smile that should be associated with such a playful sentence.

"No, well. I guess that's part of it.." She wiggled her lips. "We've felt.. distant.." When her blue eyes lifted again, it was Anna's turn to glance away with a hazy stare. Her hand twitched with an urge to reach out, to stroke the soft skin of the other girl's cheek. Her voice was sad. "..as if we haven't even spoken."

The whisper was slow to come and gentle in the room's stillness, attempted smile falling away, replaced with eyes almost of guilt. "Yeah, I've.. noticed too."

Swallowing dryly, the older rower tried to tamp down the unease in her chest; a fear growing, almost feeling like a choke-hold around her lungs and heart.

Why was this feeling so familiar? No. She knew why. Rather, why did it have to be? She'd been here before. Numerous times, actually. Short but such impactful blips dotting her time with Belle. Moments where it felt like her world was falling apart due to some unexpected distance growing between them; those moments scaring her every single time they came and went, only to return and cycle over and over again. To be left alone. Not after she'd found someone to hold her heart; the first person ever to have been given that trust. She couldn't bear to lose it back then. And each time this happened, Belle had eventually come around; the inexplicable joy bringing a sweet coolness over a scalding burn, more powerful the feeling each time..

Until the time she didn't come back. Until she had completely left. A measly phone call to be the ending, to rip away her safety net and let the world around her shatter, and right when she needed that love the most..

Heart cracking under that rearing fear, she felt her jaw quiver.

"I miss you.." Anna's eyes blinked up, notably surprised at the change in timbre. Elsa was staring at her, voice sounding so wounded and sad, just a sharp breath; words tight at her vocal cords. She had not meant for it to be that pathetic sounding, but with how the conversation was going, how the situation was going, it slipped out. "Please let me stay close to you."

Her eyes had slid shut at the request, missing the continued wide eyed stare she was receiving. Over the pounding in her ears, a light breath carried a reassurance, tempering the howling gails in her mind. "Of course." And a delicate, "Sorry if I made you worry."

She looked up again, knowing that her eyes had to have been glimmering; too deliberate in her forced stronghold to let the moisture squeeze past, but failing in keep them completely at bay. Staring into those caring cerulean pools on made her heart jump faster into her throat, and spoke what she longed to say, what she longed for, for a stretch of too many long days now.

"Then.. c-can I kiss you?"

Behind her, a subtle roll of thunder was backdrop to the request. She hated how groveling that sounded. She had wanted to sound brave, with confident intention, to show Anna that she could take initiative between them too. Yet she was forced into this spot, by nothing but her own stupid emotional accord.

But the younger woman still nodded and, leaning on her forearms, Elsa wasted no time in dipping her head in toward those familiar lips. In the soft instant, she was transported back to the wonderful hint of strawberry fields with the breathed warmth of a summer's breeze swirling in her senses.

Her fingers found Anna's head, cradling the sides as her fingertips pressed over the soft auburn locks, sweetly tucked away in their usual braids.

Only lost in the moment, in her synthesizing senses, did her body fully realize just how long it had been since she felt the woman's mouth against her own. Days, stretched long, contact met with small touches, hugs, and light pecks against available skin periodically, but kisses shared with the redhead's lips had disappeared like a fleeting spirit. Now, feeling the warmth pressed against her, tongue daring to swipe along the pink skin moments later, feeling the reciprocating response as Anna's mouth opened to her own, the blonde woman melted.

Met with the sweetest taste, tilting her head to meet Anna's response, a jolt traveled down her spine, shivers creeping down her shoulders and leaving a trail of goosebumps along the way; the reflexive reaction drawing a gentle moan from her throat. Goodness, she missed this so much.

Unclear of the time, following blindly to sensation alone, Elsa let her lips skim of the freckled cheek, connecting the small spots with short peppered pecks until she reached the woman's jaw, feeling access offered as Anna automatically moved with the motion. Ruby lips found the warm skin of the redhead's neck, tracing it gently, lovingly nipping before letting her tongue deftly soothe any lingering stings; the action stirring a strong of melodious mewls from the body angled under her.

Encouraged by the sounds, feeling the burn of a fire flickering under her skin, she continued to cradle the woman's head toward her, letting the other hand carefully draw down the lithe body; enjoying the softness of the loose fit Jersey material sliding over the firm form beneath. When she reached the kept hem, she felt two hands slide into her platinum locks, holding her just as close. But with her finger tips brushing over the firm divots of flesh hidden just beneath, she was weak to surrender into the desire such a feeling brought with it.

As smoothly as her position would allow, she moved her head down, finding the lifted edge of material; mouth pressing lightly against the woman's navel, taking an appreciating moment to leave specific kisses to the most prominent of freckles that dotted the growing expanse of rippling tanned skin. Her hand gently dragged the yielding material of the nightshirt higher, lips kissing the newly exposed abdominal muscles, sweetly and so mild, feeling the other rower's fingers flexing in her hair, holding on so softly as she took her time loving each little spot. Tasting the skin she remembered so fondly, so deeply, knowing that she could never want anyone else quite like this.

Working her way up, following the receding fabric line, tracing over the rigid lines of heaving ribs, feeling the slightly uneven rise and fall, like a boat in the morning waves, tranquil. Every inch was given attention, deep within the carving of every dint and sulci that made up this incredible body; so petite yet filled with such a hidden power that only Elsa could know to its full extent. The unknown underdog who was nothing less than a champion in her adoring eyes. Her heart hammered at the thought, palm coming to hold a firm stability against the base of the woman's torso, as her other continued with its own purpose to bless the unfolding light of day across the body's magnificence.

The flat of the girl's sternum acted as a runway beneath her red lips, leading her forward to the shallow valley mixed with a stuttered rise and fall; the softness of skin appearing under her consciousness, a complete opposite of the firmness from a minute ago. Just like the woman; her strength and sweetness, all compiled into one perfect person. One she wished to love like this forever on.

Gently, just when the clothing had risen above her destination, two small hands slipped from her hair and instead fell to the front of her shoulders, lightly calloused palms brushing over her collar bone, and for the first time, Elsa felt a bit of resistance as she moved forward. Lost in previous thoughts, it took a second to process the physical input, but when she did, the message was felt deep inside her.

She stopped, head shooting up, and her body went cold. Frozen.

Anna wasn't even looking at her, head tilted to the side with half-lidded eyes staring away; distant. Unnervingly distant.

Eyes frantically searching the almost empty expression, Elsa hurriedly moved to pull the shirt back down, trying to bring even the slightest recovering sense of modesty to the girl, as she hurriedly, moved herself inches up, face hovering over the deeply hued cheeks of the younger girl.

"Anna..?" she breathed in worry, positive that her eyes were wild; the constricting in her chest was almost painful, feeling the ice shards shooting through her veins with every rapidly ticking pulse.

The young rower lowered one of her arms from its braking position, bringing the side of her pinky knuckle to her mouth as she closed her eyes and shook her head. "Sorry, Elsa. I tried, but I can't do this any more.."

Breath catching, momentarily stuttering over her thoughts, trickling into urgently assuring words, the blonde shook her head repeatedly. "Th-that's-! No, it's all fine..! Don't apologize! I-it's.." Wait, what's 'any more' supposed to mean..?

As her shallow breathing quickly began to make her feel light-headed, she promptly slid herself off to the side, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up over the girl, as if trying to offer a neutral means of comfort. Although she wanted nothing more than to wrap the distraught woman in her arms, the embrace of the sheet would have to do in the moment. A layer of protection for the redhead; protection from herself.

Her heart cinched with barbed wire at the thought.

Elsa pressed the side of her face deeply into her pillow, feeling a hot blush now erupting over her face; her whole body, previously frozen like ice, thawing with a lava-like scorched mortification. Fight or flight knocking at her brain, hating being in these sort of situations more than anything, she wanted to run, to hide.. maybe she should leave? Would that be better?

No. She'd told Anna that she wouldn't run away anymore, no matter how uncharted this territory was related to such a situation. She had to be brave. She had to stay. Whatever was going on in Anna's mind deserved Elsa's full attention. If Anna wanted her presence, she'd remain locked at her side.. and if she wanted the space, told her to leave, she would do so in a hummingbird's heartbeat. As long as it was at Anna's decision. She'd respect whatever came. But she, herself, will never runaway again.

At some point, Anna's face had looked up again, directed at the ceiling. Her gaze was fixed on something beyond the white painted wall, staring into nothing or everything, it was hard to say. But Elsa let herself peek at the sight, wishing and watching and waiting. The waiting most painful.

"You promised no more lies." Navy eyes blinked, twice, hard, blonde brows drawing together. What? "You promised no more closed doors."

She lifted her head at the statements. The words were spoken so flatly, yet she could feel a subtle anger coursing in the undertow. And Anna still wasn't looking at her..

"There have been no 'closed doors', Anna," she tried, keeping her voice soft and slow; cautious as the other woman's tone rippled along the edge of emotions neither woman wanted to flare.

Teal eyes finally glanced toward her, freckled face tilting so slightly and Elsa felt her breath catching again. Those beautiful sea green pools were shimmering, perfectly shaped almond outlines becoming tinged with a sweet pink, matching the tip of her nose. She was.. why was she close to tears?!

The sight broke her heart, pieces cracking and splintering, knowing whatever was on her partner's mind was absolutely plaguing her to this intensity. But the clarifying words may have just shot the remainder of her glass heart into a pitiful explosion of dust.

"You were with Belle on the night of your run." The words were hard, firm. There was no budging from Anna's declaration. She was stating a fact, and Elsa knew that. Still, the shock of hearing it dropped here, now, was no less stunning.

Her lips twitched. "That's.." Knowing her answer, she still didn't know how to respond. Not that second. Not when everything going on had piled up to this, without her even knowing.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Elsa," she said, relatively steadily, given the sadness in her gaze. It held the dark blue eyes for a long period, asking, pleading for truth.

"I.." She held her breath a for a stabilizing moment before exhaling, shoulders sagging in time with her spirit. "You're correct.. we went together," she started in trepid explanation, although she could tell Anna had somehow already become well aware of that fact. She didn't want to have this conversation, not now, not ever, but she was at a loss of anything else in that moment. The open door policy, the biggest commitment they had essentially given to one another.. she understood, both at that time and now, that she had broken it. "I.. I was going to tell you after, just.. things didn't go as I had planned.." It was the honest truth after all; on many accounts, not just with Anna's safety in mind, but the overwhelming weight of guilt following those 5 seconds of weakness.

"I know that too."

Blue eyes pierced the heavily lidded gaze. She watched the girl get up, slide off the bed, grabbing the new phone she had been playing with. A quick click through her new Google search bar, she pulled up a blog site, moving to turn the screen back to Elsa.

Elsa was instantly reminded of the link Flynn had shared earlier, and she was prepared for the stupid scene again.. definitely not some mildly blurred, candid shot of her standing outside Belle's hotel room, leaned against the wall, the brunette's close face obscuring her own. The caption, somehow worse than the one from earlier: "Olympic 'traditions' are starting early among the athletes.."

That description alone wanted to make her vomit at the sheer lack of shame of some people. She felt her jaw tremble, uncertain of what she could say, so stunned from the image, on Anna's phone, paired with Anna's slouched position.

"Th..that.."

"I overheard your conversation at the party, so I already knew," confessed the girl, head down, red bangs obscuring her face in shadow. "Kristoff just shared this blog post after."

After? How soon after? It's been nearly a week since they got here.. Has she been holding these worries in all this time?! Everything Elsa had been hoping to avoid.. had Anna really been wondering this all the way up to the night before their last qualifying round?!

"God.. Anna." Her voice sank, heart hurting. "None of that is real.. I mean, yeah the run, that picture.. but what it's implying, it's not.." She shook her head. "Nothing happened!"

Sea green eyes just stared at her phone after she'd darkened the screen. "Why should I believe you? You've even been talking to her since then." Elsa went to say something to counter, but Anna then snapped her eyes up, giving a pointed look. "You've been on your phone more in the last five days that you have been all summer. Tell me that's a coincidence."

Elsa's voice caught in her throat. Sure, she had exchanged a few very short messages, but to say it like that? Absurd! Hell, she would argue she had spent more time trying to Google search ideas of how to make Anna feel better and talk to her and.. oh. Maybe that was the increased screen time Anna had been noticing. Well, this was going to be slightly disconcerting to admit.

"Ah, that.. Belle occasionally texted me, but all I messaged her was to not bother.. Really. I was.." It felt more embarrassing to say than expected. "I've been trying to search ways to make you feel better.."

Anna sent her a look, a long look, before rolling her eyes. "Talking to me would have been smarter.."

"But I tried..!" Elsa placed her hand flat between them, leaning forward on it slightly. "You kept denying anything was wrong. How was I supposed to just know what you were thinking?" There was a crack in her voice as the words became more desperate.

"You should have just come out and told me in the first place." Dulled aquamarine orbs were staring toward the floor. "If nothing happened, you should have had no problem telling me." She dryly chuckled, shoulders rising weakly for a second. "Meaning there's more to it that you're still not admitting."

Elsa swallowed, tightly. She knew that all that was left to do was to amend the situation before it only spiraled further out of her control.

"Okay.. Talking with her wasn't what I planned, but it happened. For the first time ever, I was telling her off.. It was all good but, I wasn't expecting it to..." Her breath caught at the words. Ocean eyes fell, lips tightening as a sour taste came to her mouth, light sigh brought forth. "Old feelings, the nostalgia.. briefly resurfaced.." The words hurt to say, as if her teeth were grinding together to even admit her shortcoming; to have allowed even the briefest of seconds to fall prey to the residual rose colored memories, flaunted alluringly in the face of called out concerns and reminders of her short-comings. She didn't want Anna to think she was so feeble minded, as weak as a dandelion bending under the force of a puny breath. After all they'd been through. After all faith Anna put in her. She wanted to be sure Anna only saw the best in her. And unfortunately, to honor that, she needed to prove she was as honest to her words as possible. "She made me realize some things.."

Her usually calm voice trembled as she picked over her words, avoiding all eye contact with her Doubles partner; head coming to rest against her pillow as she tried to formulate some way to explain.

"Save it." Blue eyes widened, startled, at the curt cut-off, bitter and firm; so unaccustomed to the sweet-hearted and positive woman. "I don't want, or need, to hear anymore of this."

Elsa pushed herself upright to her forearms, urgent, staring at the redhead who was sitting up as well, swinging her legs over the bed's edge. "Anna, stop-"

"-What, Elsa?" snapped the young woman, arms flying out to the side, jaw quivering in the slightest as she looked over her shoulder. Tears were welled in normally joyous eyes. "What kind of 'realization' could you possibly have to tell me about?" With a fire building in desperate sounding words, she snorted an acerbic laugh, teal eyes trained back to her lap. "That all of those memories you shared together came rushing back? That you happened to realize that you never stopped loving her? Despite all of the shit she put you through.. despite all that we've been through, she's still 'The One'? That I was nothing but a fucking rebound? Is that what you realized?"

Heart feeling like it was being ripped in half, into quarters, fractions, over an over with every passing accusation, blue eyes fell to her hands, thoughts culminated over the last few days; dark horrors forced to be faced, necessary for the closure she had not initially thought she ever needed.

What I realized..

Even before recent events, sometimes she would think back to how her previous relationship had played out; trying to figure out exactly when things had soured. Honestly, she couldn't even pinpoint the exact moment most of the time, and that was probably her own fault.

Despite having forged a competitive friendship the year prior, when she had actually begun dating Belle, the first few weeks had felt.. weird. But the excitement of novelty was strong enough to force any discomfort to the wayside. It was more difficult to fall into the change that came than she had expected, and Belle always seemed a number of meters out of reach, just like how their training played out on the water; the brunette blazing a trail, pulling Elsa along with her, but never giving them much chance to end up on the same level.

Intimacy had been the hardest adjustment above all else. Hell, simply the act of touch alone was foreign to the isolated girl, having only small memories here and there of her parents showing that sort of affection; a kiss on an injury, a pat on the head with accomplishment.. but nothing more. All of that bled into her perceptions; habits to untrain. Not that she didn't want to, not that she didn't try to push herself to do more, but it was a hard innateness to break. Specifically the receiving end. Belle had been patient with her through it all, even as weeks dragged into months. Constant reassurances that she understood, how she was just happy to have Elsa by her side, and how she loved the younger woman for who she was and she would not change that.

But the older girl's growing popularity had made Elsa grow anxious, still receiving constant reassurance every time; that things like harmless flirting did not mean a thing. Whenever that transitioned into meaning even the rare make-outs at clubs and some word of mouth hook-ups, she could not remember, though following Belle's graduation, leaving Arendelle behind for the National tier where Elsa balanced scholastic life while maintaining her own seat, seemed to fit the timeline. She did, however, remember the aches of pain, worse than simply observing the woman's interactions with public figures as time went on. But the worse she felt, the more she cherished the other woman's words when she did return home; the tighter strong arms would hold her those nights following any stupid fling. Words of how true love was what you shared with the person you return to, that it showed how resilient they were together, that such things allowed Elsa to not feel pressured to do anything she was not comfortable with, how it was all for her.

At some point, she had given into that ideal; giving up on working towards allowing herself to cross that final threshold of intimacy required in romantic relationships, letting the divide remain, yet somehow finding it made her heart yearn so much more powerfully. Constantly tiptoeing a line, finding herself bordering urges to jump it but feeling scared to act, as if it were too late. A constant push and pull. She had always remained a reliable girlfriend nevertheless, doing anything to see that smile bloom across the gorgeous woman's face; to accept the warm hugs and kisses that did, later on, begin to grow in intensity.

The space between them had finally been disappearing, hardships of that yearlong gap, pressured with training, maybe being the pinnacle turning point. Finally, they seemed to be on the same page, no more frivolous behavior. Belle was dedicating herself to Elsa day in and day out, and after all the stress, her subpar academics, her stagnant 2k, Elsa couldn't have been happier. The hard work of a relationship's trials and tribulations was finally paying off! But it would be short lived for only a few months, when they would be forced into that awful situation; that awful request and awful decision.

Elsa had never wanted to rush into anything after that; into anything ever again at all actually. She had even predicted that she probably would do best in a world by herself from the on out. And she knew, early on, that her initial superficial attraction to the annoyingly pretty Freshman would have spelled nothing but disaster on basically every possible account. She knew it wouldn't be healthy, and her closest friend had echoed the sentiment when he first figured it out, even if he had not agreed with the notion of her complete self isolation plan.

It had not been until after she finally just gave up and gave in to the romantic urges, a kiss under the magnificent pink and gold rays of a setting sun seared in her memory, that she realized, horrifyingly, she didn't know how to love properly; that the one person to have organically slid into her heart against her resolute will, unlike how she'd fallen openly into her ex's arms at the beginning. Anna had held her heart before she had a clue that it had been surrendered, and it cemented the fact that this freckled ray of sunshine was absolutely precious. And that scared her, knowing so many things were a problem in herself, that all she had known in romance was nothing like she felt in those early days. That Anna needed someone who could love her right. When that other girl, that bar-tending mechanic, had come into play, who was Elsa to stand in the way?

When Anna and her head found themselves that late night on the precipice of feelings, she knew she shouldn't give in.. but Anna pressed on. Elsa had been here before. In a way; understood better than most how this could play out. Perhaps what she had learned was not so unheard of after all; if Belle and Anna were the same in that regard..

She would see herself a fool that evening, as the hurricane rolled on and left her to recount the night's spell in the dawn's clear light; foolish to think that she had found someone who cherished her, the loyalty she always sought in a relationship. It was exactly the same thing happening again. Only, in this situation, Anna would return to the one she really loves, flings and flirting saved for those on the side. Ugh, back then, she had despised finding herself thinking about the frustrating mechanic's feelings. Regardless if she had been the one Anna had chosen, Elsa still knew the longing of her lover's full attention too well.

However, the days immediately following that stormy night had given her time to reflect; the conversation broken in her apartment at Anna's arrival. The moment she confirmed nothing having been going on between the redhead and the other girl. The way Anna's face had contorted, aghast, absolutely gawking at the mere idea that such a behavior could ever be considered okay in any way, shape, or form. Almost sharing a spot with the treasured Southern Isles sunset, that reaction had stuck with her immensely, stroking a nerve she didn't even know was running through her, stirring memories she barely remembered, or maybe which had just been forcefully buried beneath 6 feet of denial.

She had not been wrong in what she wanted; the ability to be with someone, loving them fully with their eyes only ever on her, and returned.

What Belle had made her realize was that it did not actually matter if a person always came back after each heart break.

What mattered was never even having to worry about if they would.

With this knowledge, the blonde remained quiet throughout the entirety of the younger woman's outburst, Anna's panting breaths that still rang in the air despite the quiet passage of time, waiting on her Doubles partner to finish her rant, if that was what she needed.

Whatever pent up rage had been building inside of her, Elsa would patiently wait it out. She would hear it out completely. Even though it pained her to hear the angry and false accusations, even though she was sure her heart could not have been torn more than it was, remaining level-headed in matters of emotions, any matters of the heart, no matter how broken, was best. Even when she wanted nothing more than to immediately cut the girl off; screaming internally 'no!' at every passing question, wishing the words could escape through her throat and disrupt the fray.

She wouldn't let it. She could restrain herself. A lifetime of practice had led her to this moment. Any slip up here would only make this fragile situation worse. The thinnest ice she could ever recall now the only thing dividing them. One misstep from cracking, one audible breath from shattering, one word from drowning in the icy current below.. That was what she could not bear to chance above all else.

When Anna finally tucked her knees up to her chest, closing herself in tight while the hot anger began to dampen under the cold wash of loneliness, the blonde finally exhaled the long breath she had been holding; her pale fingers gripped so snug in her lap, they felt as cold as the snowy white they resembled.

The silence in the hotel room persisted longer, both parties still heavily breathing under the weight of the atmosphere.

Carefully picking the breath to start on, waiting until her heart's tempo was at a steady state rhythm familiar to them both, Elsa stared forward.

"I realized that.. no matter the reason, you never forget your first love," Elsa finally said, wistful and woeful, while turning the gaze into her hands. Her words stood in reflection while the sadness echoed inside of her. Whether it actually be true love or only just a misconstrued perception of what love was, wanting it to be something that it was farthest from in a desperate attempt to feel wanted, appreciated, and merely seen, for the first time in a lifetime, it still clung in the back of the mind.

Sure. The statement did absolutely nothing to counter Anna's accusations, nor do anything to ease the raw pain felt between either parties. Unfortunately, Elsa knew nothing good would come from this discussion if she only gave corrections, to be on the defensive and risk only increasing Anna's own, causing an unproductive and ultimate failure of conversation. It wouldn't touch the root of the problem, now realizing that they still both held onto such insecurities..

When trust was broken, it took the strength to give everything, every thought, to even begin to amend something like that.

The distant whine of ice ready to crack echoed in her ears.

I am so sorry, Anna.. know this is going to hurt you.. but, if I don't say it all, here and now, you may never trust me again. The silent plea resonated in her mind as she sought the fortitude to go forward with her explanation. She prayed that the correct words, ones to convey all that she needed to say, would be channeled forth, and any misstep would not lead her to the scariest downfall of her life. Forgive me.

"But you are right. It was not a good relationship," she began carefully, eyes on her clasped hands; not wanting to look at the woman's turned back, only to feel the distance that much more. "Even so, with all of the negatives, your mind tries to only recall the positives; spinning your perception, pushing down the memories that cause you pain. Those problems and stupid decisions that you made.. things you're so ashamed to think about now.." She felt a sting in her eyes, face heating while letting her pride down; revealing. "Things you tricked yourself to think were.. normal. That all love worked that way. Ignoring everybody else's concerns because your stupid pride could only see that one person.."

She wanted to outright say what she meant, having withheld this information for fear of judgment, both of her intelligence and morals; what she knew was utterly delusional now, a false understanding, desperation blinded by even the most blatant lies, hurt over and over but somehow still loving the one who tormented her heart the most.. But putting out the exact words.. she still could not muster it. It hurt too much. The embarrassment of her ignorance and utter lack of self-esteem, so overwhelming. She hoped Anna would pick up at least some of what she meant.

"That person always seems to be a part of you. Pieces of them remain, the good and bad.." Her lips shrugged. "Because, although we don't see them after they're gone, they are what form who we become in the future. And even if they were the cause, it doesn't mean our accomplishments are any less meaningful when we've emerged from heart ache."

She could feel, more so than hear, the girl's body tense. Even in the silence of the small room, the slight hitch in a breath was all too telling. Forcing herself to remain composed, to fight the full body impulse to reach out and pull the distraught woman into her own embrace, to destroy all the bad feelings, to dispel tormenting demons and be the savior Anna desperately needed.. Elsa knew she couldn't. Not when those demons were brought here by her.

Her hands wrung together, thoughts spilling forward, heart squeezing in its most sincere processing of her own journey up until now; talking out her doubts, feeling the mere presence of Anna's aura being enough to help her clarity.

"They may leave your heart feeling as if it's one beat from breaking… terrified to consider letting anyone else back in because it's too fragile." There was a hitched breath coming from the curled body beside her; not expecting the words, much like Elsa, herself. She was actually almost stunned to hear what her heart was confessing, but it was all truth that she had known, lived, and held onto; scars carved inside of her.

Saying it out loud, now though, it was.. cathartic. Almost.. funny. How some distance could make everything seem small, meaninglessness; erg times, races, perceptions, people, success. Menial; whether truly small to the definition or the ones so massively destructive and life altering, when brought to light in the correct way. It actually brought a tiny chuckle to her lips.

"But, as someone wise beyond her years once told me.." Finally those blue eyes turned toward the younger woman's back, still turned away, curled and protected in its primitive self-embrace. She lifted her hand, slowly, curling her index knuckle loosely, wishing to touch the ever warm body; just a passing stroke from the back of her finger, a feather dusting. But she let it fall to the definitive comfort of the bedding spanning between them. "You never forget the past.. but you can't dwell in it either."

A tentative second later, she saw the tense body relax, red hair moving as she turned her head over her shoulder, catching the subdued ocean orbs instantly.

Elsa's eyes darted around the freckled face, seeming to take in all that there was to see. Memorizing it. Appreciating it. In that moment, seeing her inner worries come to light at how easily such a view could be lost.

Under the spell, counting every orange speckle that painted the galaxy across the flushed, innocent face, Elsa's hand had slowly lifted up again. With out a second thought, her fingers lightly touched Anna's mixed colored braid, letting its softness passively slide into the palm of her hand, careful in the simple actions as to not spook the rower in such a sensitive time.

She gently rubbed her thumb over the white streak, something she had done countless times, eyes leaving the young rower's expression only to closely look at the woman's most distinguishing feature. How many times had she appreciated the Mallen streak's uniqueness? Certainly not enough. No where near. With all of her ability, she understood she would never come close to appreciating this marvelous woman as much as she deserved; giving her the sun, moon, and sky wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface.

Anna just sat there, breathing heavily and slowly with the soft movement, the soft stare continuing; the tiny tremors seen coursing down her arms indicating she was barely keeping her nerves under control at the delicate touch.

"I had a moment where her words triggered a fear I thought I overcame; that I could only prove myself worthy with her help, that I don't deserve a lot of things. Something I actually used to believe entirely, and I guess its presence was stronger than I realized.." Elsa's voice was far away when she finally spoke again, somber, stare unfocused, bridging her wandering thoughts back to the conversation at hand. "But, as you always are, you were my strength when I needed it.." The melancholy gaze warmed with a flicker and a small, effortless smile came to her lips. "Before you, I never knew what I was capable of. For the first time in my life, you've taught me what it really means to be loved. Nothing is more precious to me."

Anna sat there, seeming to slowly process the words, while Elsa blinked her eyes up, noticing glistening orbs staring back at her. She was sure she mirrored the same.

With a swallow, teal eyes skimming to the side in a hesitant second before daring a glance back. "So.. you and Belle are.."

Elsa shook her head, eyes closing, letting herself bask at the sound of growing relief in the rower's voice; something she much preferred over the distraught and angry sounds from earlier. "Nothing more than memories that belong in the past," she finished for the redhead before letting out a soft breath. "Memories whose sole purpose of existing is for learning, and leading me..." Her tired eyes opened again, guilt showing through them yet entwined with hopeful forgiveness, stared at the puffy eyes of the redhead. "..here. Home. With you."

With a careful motion, studying the other body, she gently leaned in to ghost a kiss against Anna's cheek, pausing at the last second, hovering in the short inch of space, still unsure of her welcome, only until the younger woman met the contact, leaning into the offer. So brief, the sensation on her lips disappeared, and Elsa could swear she imagined it. And just as she began to move back, she heard the whisper, still sounding too sad for comfort.

"You still went to see her alone.." Aqua eyes remained directed on the floor, body still wrapped up tight in her curled form. "This all doesn't forgive the fact that you lied about that.."

She felt ice spear her heart, stilling her for a cold second before she let herself lean away from the younger rower. As before, she wanted to shout out how she had only done it for Anna's protection, but she had been here, more times than one. Anna never wanted protecting. The strong willed and hard headed girl had never accepted such an excuse from Elsa, even if this time, more than ever, Elsa truly believed the necessity. It was a lose-lose situation from the start, and pointless to argue it now.

Swallowing thickly, she meekly nodded, understanding this was a stand alone issue and one she had to bear. "I know.." Her lidded eyes were on her hands, clasped tightly in her lap, gently chewing her bottom lip. She sucked in a breath. "I don't expect my reasoning to be justifiable here, either."

"Ah. 'Protecting' me again, got it." The emotionless words were mumbled into the girl's knees.

Elsa let it hang for a long moment, hardened gaze on her lap not relenting, just as her concern of the matter persisted. But, if they were talking everything out, putting Elsa's goal of protection out on the table anyway, perhaps she could still make it possible.

"Please, Anna. I can't begin to explain how manipulative she can be when she has a goal in mind. I.. I don't want you anywhere near involved with her. She barely accepted my lie that we weren't together." She felt her hands tremble as her found words became beseeching, and she knew Anna's attention was completely on her. "If nothing else, promise you won't seek her out." You don't need to get pulled into our problems.

Blue eyes had stayed trained in their spot, waiting until a small 'okay' was murmured beside her. She just nodded.

Letting the quiet of the moment settle, rain still falling outside with the white noise washing over the two, no more words to be exchanged, she slid off of the bed and headed toward the bathroom; the urge to move in her body, akin to residual anxiety, so brushing her teeth for a second time could not hurt. She voiced this thought aloud, no other point to the narrative than to give the guise of normalcy in a completely up-heaved scenario.

A passing glance from the corner of her eye, she watched the bow rower's body, still sitting with her arms wrapped securely around her legs, chin having returned forward atop her knees, processing; expression more focused than Elsa had ever seen. Her heart thumped heavily, hopeful that the gaze's intensity was for the better.

Once she was inside the small adjoining room, lock making a gentle click behind her, she quietly leaned her back against the door; fatigue of the talk hitting her nearly as hard as the meaning of the words she had spoken. Confessed in a way which Anna had undoubtedly realized, but privy to how Elsa, herself, saw it.

Many people had believed that her heart had always been made of ice, teammates, coworkers, even would-be friends, and those many people had basically been right. Her whole life, she had come to let the coldness condense, layers upon layers, only thickening the stronghold. Reveling in the protective encasing for her entire life. But what she had considered a once in a lifetime experience had thawed it so fast, leaving a wash of tumultuous waves surrounding the unguarded organ, until a tsunami crashed into her with a subzero frost cast upon impact; entrapping that forceful ache in ice with a glacial pressure. Never again to be broken through. Not like that. She'd never be so yielding ever again.

Yet, Anna had come. Anna was her light. She'd mentioned that many times to the young woman; she made sure Anna knew that. And with that light, when Anna discovered her heart, she brought with it, warmth. Slowly, so very slowly, that warmth allowed the ice to thaw, droplet by droplet; at times, just like the magnificent glaciers of the arctic, crashing chunks at a time periodically by the ever weakening ice, but she had never been left exposed with an insurmountable sea ready to rip through her.

Just steadily growing waves of a river and a boat shared, stroking a tandem tempo in time with every fresh heartbeat.

She may never have come to believe again that she had a heart worth all of the trouble, struggles, pain, and heartache that came with it; baggage heavy, ice shards thick and sharp, dangling on a precipice, easily broken and devastating to all who even tried to get near. But she was utterly grateful that Anna had proved her wrong, braved it all in search of the beating, bleeding flesh within.

Sliding to the floor, head falling into her own arms as she curled into the same position as the redhead had secured herself in, Elsa bit back a sob that had been itching to come forward all evening while a loud crack of thunder rumbled through the room, causing the dull ache in her temple to intensify.

She never wanted to be here again, messing up so completely, bad enough to see such torture crackle through those ever shining gemstone eyes; bright and always reflecting her brilliant personality. She just wanted to protect the girl, more than anything, never wanting a moment of worry pass the young girl's heart. She just wanted everything to be perfect. Why could she never get it right?

Desperately, she prayed that despite all her mess ups, the wonderful girl, most loving and all too understanding to be a mortal human, a literal angel among demons, so persistent in her courageous endeavors, who trusted her so utterly without abandon, still believed, without a shadow of a doubt, that Elsa still had a heart worth mining.

-End Chapter 39: Part 2-

A.N. I know I skimmed some of the racing portions here; of course there will be more rowing scenes coming up, but it makes the narrative super long to include each bit of detail while we have so many other things to cover. I will happily add a bonus scene covering an Elsa POV of the Heat described above, though! :)

Now, Elsa treasures Anna too much to betray her; she just wants to protec. Even if she doesn't get it right, it's out of her love. (Wow Elsa, weird how you can be misguided in your best efforts to protect Anna from the world. I wonder where/who you literally inherited that trait from.. _ )

Also, other than the fact Elsa has just lived a very emotionally traumatic life (in cannon and here), I actually took inspo for hers and Belle's relationship from the claims about Beauty & The Beast containing subtle Stockholm Syndrome undertones, and (though it's not true) I actually thought it worked well with how emotionally at risk Elsa was in this story. So, there's that.

On to the next chapter, which I am 80% sure will be a split chapter as well.. we'll see! Thanks for reading!