A/N: My first story to pass 50k words! :p Woohoo!


Chapter 16: The Unfiltered Truth.

Darkness.

Astrid's whole world was filled to the brim with darkness. It was all black as far as she could see.

Her body felt completely detached from existence in this dream state between sleep and wakefulness, and it was tempting to rest in this emptiness forever, but something was tugging persistently at the edge of her consciousness.

Someone, someone she had to protect- someone extremely close to her- Hiccup!

Her eyes snapped open before she shut them again instantly at the blindingly bright light coming in from a nearby window.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to sit up but was unable to as she felt incredibly weak, like there was no energy left in her system at all.

After a few seconds, her eyes managed to adjust, and she looked around the unfamiliar room with a number of beds- some with people in them who had bandaged up wounds- this was Gothi's hut!

As if by a flash of lightning, it all suddenly came back to her. The raid, the fire, the Nadder, Hiccup-

Sitting up with a groan of pain, her heart raced in panic- having no idea how she'd gotten here and what had happened last night after she'd blacked out.

"Astrid!"

She turned her head to see her mother walk in from the doorway straight to her bed and wrap her in a hug. "Thank heavens you're okay my darling" she breathed, squeezing her tightly.

"Mom" was all she managed, choking back a sob.

They sat like that for a few moments, before Astrid voiced the question that she desperately wanted to ask, but was dreading the answer to.

"Where is... Hiccup?" she asked in a small voice.

To her tremendous relief, her mother laughed softly and rubbed her back. "Don'tcha worry, yer husband is all okay."

She gestured to the other side of her bed, and confused, Astrid peered over the side to see an exhausted looking Hiccup lying on a mat on the floor next to her bed, passed out cold.

"He carried ye up the hill to here before the raid was even over, and stayed awake all night and all morning by your side. I think he finally collapsed from the exhaustion an hour ago."

Astrid smiled through teary eyes at him, relieved beyond words about his safety.

She looked down to see her right knee bandaged up, and she realised had almost no feeling in that leg.

"Nadder poison" her mother explained. "Luckily it was only a small dart, and Hiccup got you to Gothi's early so she administered the antidote immediately. You should be recovered in a day or two."

"That's good..." Astrid replied absently, her mind still stuck on something else. Hiccup had carried her up the hill? Even with his prosthetic?

Her bed creaked with her movements and Hiccup stirred, rubbing his eyes and looking her way, then his eyes widened seeing her sitting up and awake.

Multiple emotions flashed successively in his eyes, from surprise, relief, to guilt, and finally hesitance.

He stood up on shaky legs and sat on the side of her bed, and it almost looked as if he was holding back from tackling her in a hug.

The uncertain silence stretched between them, and was broken by her mother which drew both their gazes.

"I'm gonna leave you two be, and go tell yer dad that yer awake" she said with a motherly smile, and left them alone.

"Are you okay?" He asked finally, tentatively reaching out and tucking a loose strand behind her ear, a recently developed habit of his.

Astrid nodded, looking down and wriggling her fingers. "Everything just feels weak" she said with a half smile, but Hiccup just looked down.

She slipped her hand into his, making him look up. "What's wrong?" She asked.

Hiccup looked confused. "You're seriously asking that? It's obvious what's wrong. I am! I'm the one who got you into this mess and got you hurt. It's all my fault"

Astrid tilted her head.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" Hiccup asked exasperatedly. "Say something! Shout- hit me, anything! I deserve it!"

Astrid furrowed her brow. "I should be mad at you for saving my life?"

"Saving? I'm the one whose sorry butt you came to rescue!"

"And what happened after I fell unconscious?"

"Umm- I brought you here to Gothi's as fast as I could"

"So you carried me across a burning village infested with dragons and up a hill on one good leg"

"That- that doesn't matter! I shouldn't have let you get hit by that Nadder in the first place! I should've-"

"Hiccup" she interrupted. "In case you forgot, I was the one who came to help you. Not because you asked but because I decided to. You-" she poked a finger into his chest-"saved me. End of discussion"

"But-" he tried but she silenced him with a hard look.

"Stop blaming yourself Hiccup, these things happen in raids. People get hurt. I'm just... I'm just glad you're okay" she said, shifting closer to him and hoping to change the subject.

Hiccup looked at her with an emotion in his eyes she couldn't decipher, and then she was being pulled by his arms into his embrace and he was holding her tightly, burying his face in her fair. "I'm sorry Astrid" he said, his voice cracking with sobs. "I'm so sorry"

"Hiccup" she said, trying to convey the hundred things she wanted to say in that single word. "Hiccup"

"I was so worried" he continued, squeezing her tighter still. "You weren't waking up, your face was pale- they said you'd be okay... they said that, but I couldn't tell if it was true or they were just trying to reassure me and I was just so worried"

She felt a teardrop hit her neck, and her heart broke into a thousand pieces. No one had ever cared for her this deeply before. No one other than him. "Hiccup. I'm okay, everything is okay. You don't need to worry anymore"

"I put you in danger. I'm the one who dragged you into my world of dragons and secrets. I'm the worst husband in the history of husbands"

"That's not true" she replied simply.

"I don't deserve you Astrid. I don't deserve half of what you are. I'm a screwup and I'll always be. I just can't stop putting my loved ones in danger. I'm the one who was foolish enough to go and win myself a wife that I should never have had, and you're the one who almost paid the price for it with your life. I'm... I'm not gonna hold you down... not anymore."

He pulled away from her but still kept his gaze down. "You have my permission to annul our marriage." He said quietly, his voice laced with defeat. "I won't keep you captive anymore... just say the word and you can walk away... just- please just don't tell anyone about toothless, that's all I ask"

Astrid stared at him with her jaw dropped. "Have you gone insane?"

Hiccup blinked. "What? I thought you'd be thrilled- you can ditch me and go live the life you've always dreamed about- Ow!"

Astrid's arms were weak but her punch still had the full might of her annoyance behind her, and she hoped it hit Hiccup hard enough to snap him out of whatever stupor he was in.

"Stop it! I don't know if you hit your head on the way here or something, but you'd better snap out of this self blaming rant and listen to me clearly"

Still rubbing his arm, he looked up at her and nodded slowly.

"You- Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III- are the most infuriating, annoying, and stubborn person I've ever met in my life"

Hiccup looked scandalized, but before he could speak up, she continued,

"But, you're also the most intelligent, brilliant, brave, caring, and the kindest person I've ever met. Not to mention,"-she looked away all bashfully, with rosy cheeks- "You're pretty easy on the eyes too"

Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

Astrid rolled her eyes. "Yes, you." She took both of his hands in hers. "You are the one who came into my life and changed everything. You are the one who taught me how to love life. Ever since I was little, I always used to think I'd never, ever, want to be a wife. You are the one who proved me wrong"

Hiccup was at a loss for words. "Astrid..."

"I want to be no one's wife if I'm not yours, Hiccup. And I can't bear the thought being away from you. Cant bear the thought of not being married to you. If I had to go back, I'd do the same thing all over again"

She smiled at him with teary eyes, "On second thought, maybe I would change something, I'd do away with the whole trials nonsense and just pick you to begin with"-she gave him a half grin-"would save us a lot of trouble"

"Astrid..." Hiccup finally found his voice again. "Do you... do you really mean that? You're happy... with me?"

Astrid nodded firmly. "More happy than I've ever been in my life"

Hiccup looked equal parts surprised and elated.

"And just so you know-" Astrid continued, "Without some extraordinary reason, annulment of marriage requires both parties to agree. And you can doubt yourself all you want, but you'd never be able to convince me in a million years that you're not my perfect husband. The one I was meant to be with. And so, I'm never gonna leave you Hiccup, even if you want me to", She squeezed his hands- "So you better get used to having me around" she finished with a smirk.

The goofy smile that she adored finally appeared on his face and she breathed a sigh of relief. "You're my perfect wife too you know" he said, caressing her cheek. "I could never want you to leave Astrid. I just wanted to protect you..."

"I'm not some damsel in distress Hiccup. I know you care for me, but I care equally for you too. You don't need to worry about protecting me all the time. We can protect each other"

Hiccup nodded. "We will"

"That's settled then" Astrid said firmly. "I promise to always be by your side, for better or worse" she said, repeating her words spoken at the altar, what felt like ages ago. "Promise me you won't berate yourself for my sake, and won't mention this annulment nonsense ever again?"

"I promise" Hiccup said, smiling brighter than the sun.

Seeing him smile like this made her smile even brighter, and before she could lose her courage, she said, "Don't you think we should seal that promise properly?"

Hiccup's face lit up slowly in understanding while Astrid scooted a bit closer but still waited for him. She wanted him to initiate first, wanted him to know that this was okay, to know that she was there and waiting and that she'd always be there.

Waiting for him.

Putting his hands on her cheeks with his ever present gentleness, he leaned forward into her space and kissed her gently on the lips, pulling back to confirm her smile before kissing her again. And once more.

There were still people outside the open doorway that could walk in at any moment and mindful of that, they ended their display of affection short.

His kisses had felt almost annoyingly good, and she made a mental note to corner him in the privacy of their own home and make him kiss her until she'd had her fill. Which, she figured, would probably take a long, long time.

A rumble in Hiccup's stomach interrupted her devious thoughts.

He blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "I should probably eat something"

Astrid laughed, "Yes, you should. And bring me something too, wouldn't ya? I'm starving"

"Of course, milady." He said with an exaggerated bow. "Your wish is my command"

She laughed again, before pulling him close and kissing his nose before pushing him away and off the bed. "Go get me food!" she commanded, voice light with amusement.

"Jeez" he muttered, feigning hurt. "I guess I was wrong after all. Marriage is nothing but pain and misery, especially when your wife throws a mean punch"

Astrid pretend-glared at him, cracking her knuckles. "If you don't want to sample one right now, then go!"

"Fine fine" he chuckled and with a last smile at her, left the room. And she was smiling too and continued to smile, long after he was gone.


Astrid felt progressively better over the day, but the healers still ordered her to spend another night at the infirmary, for observation. Nadder poison wasn't usually life threatening, especially in small doses, but there was always the slim chance of an unexpected reaction.

Hiccup had stayed by her side the whole day, only leaving to get lunch and dinner, and they had spent the time just talking, about a lot of different things but all in a light hearted way. After their heavy and emotional reconciliation from the morning, it felt good to just spend time with each other without having to think about anything that might sour the mood.

Hiccup decided to show her his archive of sketchbooks, and she teased him endlessly about the fact that almost every other sketch seemed to be of her.

"Another one?" Astrid deadpanned. "I'm so glad that now I know how I look while holding a bucket of water"

"Hey!" Hiccup protested, grinning. "It's not my fault that you always look so beautiful even while doing seemingly mundane things"

That made her shut right up. No matter how many times Hiccup called her beautiful, it got the same dumbstruck reaction out of her each time. Hiccup was definitely aware of that by now, and used this weapon in his arsenal with reckless abandon.

"I wonder why you even need me at this point" she said cheekily, having gathered her wits. "You pretty much have a sketch of me for every situation"

Hiccup shook his head and held her closer with his arm resting around her waist as they sat together on the small bed.

"They're not but fleeting glimpses of your angelic visage, my fair maiden. Thy true splendor cannot be captured in mere parchment"

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know you were capable of speaking so eloquently"

"People do strange things when they're in love" he replied instantly.

Astrid gasped audibly at his sort-of confession, and Hiccup's eyes widened as he realised what he'd blurted.

Curse her face and her laugh and her voice, he thought, for it made always him lose control over his own mind and words.

Hiccup had always imagined that when the time came for him to actually confess his love to her, he'd plan some sort of a grand gesture that will sweep her right off her feet.

But he should have known that he was Hiccup, and nothing ever really went according to his plans.

Braving a glance at her to see her looking down shyly, she didn't look angry or disgusted at all.

That made him realise something. Why should he hide his feelings from her now that he'd let her in on everything else in his life?

He'd said those three words to her a million times in his mind, and whispered them over a dozen times to her while she was too asleep to hear them. Why not let her hear them properly for once? Didn't she deserve the unfiltered truth about his feelings, after everything she'd done for him?

He'd given her a chance to walk away this morning and she'd rejected it without a second thought. That mere fact alone had been enough to make him fall in love with her all over again.

He'd thought he had been in love with her ever since he could remember, but now that she was his wife, each day felt like he fell deeper and deeper into an endless ocean of affection for her. He understood now that falling in love wasn't something that just happened and got over, it was a perpetually ongoing process without an end in sight.

He had thought he was right to hide toothless from her, but with the benefit of hindsight, he saw how he'd been wrong.

Most people spoke with a filter, often didn't say what they were thinking, and it was all a part of being a human in a society. But he knew that wasn't him. That wasn't how he lived his life, and he wasn't going to change it now.

Taking both her hands in his, he said softly, "Look at me Astrid"

She did so, and he found himself staring at her glowing skin and azure eyes, her lips curled up in a tender smile.

His heart thudded in his rib cage in anticipation of what he was about to do, but he was determined to not cower down now, he was gonna see this through to the end.

"It's the truth" he said sincerely. "I love you Astrid. I always have"

After taking a few moments to register the heavenly words, she could only say, "Oh Hiccup..."

Hiccup could have sworn he saw her eyes glistening with moisture, but before he could see for certain, she was wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

A part of him had feared rejection, anger, even indifference, but he felt a weight lift off his shoulders at his wife's undoubtedly positive response.

He gently rubbed her back and said, "You don't need to reply my dear, no need to say anything at all. But I just want you to know that I love you more than anyone in this world, and I'll always be there for you. My heart doesn't belong to me anymore." He pulled back and gently kissed her forehead. "It's yours"

She laughed a teary laugh before looking up at him and whispering, "Please say that again"

"I love you Astrid, I love you so much"

She wiped a tear from her corner of her eye and smiled even wider before replying, "again"


It was dark out, and Hiccup was insisting that he'd stay by her bedside the whole night, but Astrid had decided to put her foot down.

"You should see yourself Hiccup. You've barely slept in two days and you look in sore need of a good rest on a real bed. Go home and get some sleep. It's only one night"

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asked, gently caressing her cheek with his thumb.

Ever since he'd confessed his love for her, he hadn't stopped touching her in some way, be it holding hands, playing with her hair, or an arm around her waist. And she would have been lying if she'd said that she wasn't enjoying every second of it.

But alas, she knew it was time to send him home, no matter how much she wanted him to stay by her side.

"I'm fine Hiccup. The Nadder poison is all but gone" she said, flexing her fingers.

Hiccup sighed in defeat. "Okay fine, but promise me you'll tell someone to come get me in case of any problems?"

She rolled her eyes at him, although she failed to suppress her pleased smile. Even though she'd been a fiercely independent girl all her life, she still loved how her husband doted on her. It made her feel special in a way no one had ever done so before.

"Yeah yeah alright, Mr. Haddock."

Hiccup chuckled before hugging and kissing her good night. "Sweet dreams, Mrs. Haddock"


Laying on his side of the bed, Hiccup couldn't stop staring at the empty side on his left.

Without Astrid, the whole house seemed dimmer, colder, more lifeless. Even without him being fully aware of it, she had become the light and warmth of his life.

Even till now, he hadn't gathered the courage to request her to forgo that line in the middle, so he could finally put her arms around her to hold her close like he longed to each and every single night.

They had started on opposite sides of the bed but over the last few weeks, they had gradually migrated closer and closer to the middle, until they were separated by just a few inches, and could feel the warmth of the other person beside them.

Those last few inches has proved difficult for his mind to overcome, but his time spent with Astrid today had given him a new surge of bravery. He vowed to ask her the next time he had the chance, and hoped that she'd let him.

Feeling satisfied with his plan, he finally drifted off to sleep.


"I told you, I can walk just fine!" Astrid giggled as Hiccup kept an arm around her as they walked to their house.

"You're still weak Astrid, and I'm not gonna have you fall"

Astrid scoffed but let him hold her anyway. Despite her annoyance, She was glad that Hiccup wasn't afraid from showing his care and affection for her in public now. It was a stark contrast from earlier in their marriage, when he'd been all hesitant and wary.

Now, he treated her like a real wife, not shying away from pressing kisses to her in public, even in front of their friends.

She glanced over at him and looking closely, she could see him wince ever so slightly each time he took a step with his left leg. Was he in pain? She didn't recall him telling her about it yesterday or this morning.

"Your mum is so nice" Hiccup said, interrupting her theorizing. "She came by earlier with a bunch of food so we wouldn't have to cook today"

Astrid smiled, "Yeah, that sounds like something she'd do"

Hiccup glanced to the side, at the bit of blue ocean they could see over the hill. "Must be nice to have a mother like that"

The forlorn tone of his voice made her heart sting. "I'm sure your mum would have been even nicer, if she were still on this earth"

The corner of his mouth twitched the slightest bit downward. "Yeah, I used to think that too" he muttered under his breath.

Slightly confused, she assumed he was just dealing with his grief and decided not to prod further into delicate matters. It wouldn't do good for neither him nor her.

As soon as they entered their home, Astrid was onto him in a flash, cornering him into sitting down and asked, "Your leg hurts, doesn't it?"

"What? N-No not at all" Hiccup replied quickly, moving to get up before being pushed back down by her. The look in his eyes gave away his lie without a doubt.

Astrid frowned, "Why are you hiding it?"

Hiccup shook his head, "I told you Astrid, it doesn't- Ouch!" he was interrupted when Astrid nudged her foot against his prosthetic, and the minor movement made him gasp and clutch his left leg to his chest.

Astrid looked at him with eyebrows raised, and he sighed in resignation. "It's a bit sore I guess, I might have bruised it by putting too much pressure on it. But it's no big deal, you don't need to worry about-"

"How did you put too much pressure on it?" Astrid pressed.

Hiccup's eyes went left and right, clearly not wanting to answer. "The night of the raid, when I was carrying you to the infirmary... I was struggling a bit with keeping my balance and I stumbled a few times on the damp rocks up the hill, it hurt at the time but I guess I ignored it cause getting you to safety was my sole focus, nothing else even mattered"

"gods Hiccup, why are you so..."

reckless? insane? selfless?

"Why don't you take care of yourself?"

"Taking care of you comes first" he replied.

Astrid laughed back a sob and shook her head. "You are a complete idiot. How did I ever get stuck with you?"

"I think I'm to blame for that one" Hiccup replied sheepishly.

"Now let me see" Astrid reached for his leg but he flinched, leaning away from her hands. Astrid looked up at him confused and suddenly his biggest insecurity that he'd buried deep down rose to the surface in an unwanted way.

Ever since he'd lost his leg, he'd never let anyone see him without his prosthetic, not his father, not Gobber, nor anyone else.

Even after getting married to Astrid, he'd kept up that vow unconsciously, removing his prosthetic under the blanket to sleep and putting it on the first thing in the morning.

To his relief, Astrid had never treated him differently for that, had never tried to prod at it or drawn attention to it, hadn't even gone any easier on him in sparring sessions just cause he was at a natural disadvantage. And he freaking loved her for that.

Rightly or wrongly, he wasn't sure, but the stump at the end of his leg was the only thing he felt ashamed of. He knew that accidents happen, more common especially in this dangerous Viking existence, but knowing that didn't help dissuade Hiccup's biggest insecurity about himself.

Seeing a metal foot extending down from his pant leg was one thing, but actually seeing the point of amputation, the still present scar and the discolored skin, he assumed it would be a horrible sight for someone seeing it for the first time.

And right now, kneeling in front of him, was the most important person to him in this world, and he didn't want to subject her to the unpleasant sight for his sake, didn't want her to see the most hideous part of his being.

"Hiccup?" She asked with concern in her eyes.

Tired of dodging questions and not wanting to be dishonest with her, he decided to be truthful.

"Astrid, it's not really pleasant to look at, I can do it myself-"

"Rubbish" she put her hand on his pant leg, ready to lift- but he stopped her again.

"Trust me dear, I don't want you to be disgusted by me"

Astrid looked downright scandalized by that. "Why would I be disgusted? It's your leg" she said, as if that explained everything. "It's a part of you... same as I am"

And with that, she lifted the fabric up to his knee and gingerly undid the straps, with unmatched care. The prosthetic came loose and she put it aside, and took in the sight that he had guarded for years.

The redness and bruising was apparent, and that had been causing all the pain. She wordlessly got up and got some herbal lotion and rubbed it gently into the raw skin, making him hiss slightly but more from the unknown sensations than from pain.

Hiccup felt exposed in a way he didn't know was possible, completely vulnerable in front of the human he cared about the most. And from the way she was gently massaging the scarred skin, unafraid to touch every inch of it with her soft fingertips, he realised that she cared as deeply about him as well.

With almost reverent care, she wrapped a soft linen bandage around the tender skin, and finally done with her ministrations, she sat down beside him and gave him a reassuring smile.

"You're perfect just the way you are Hiccup, you never need to feel ashamed about anything, not in front of me. Not now, and not ever"

At a loss for words by now, Hiccup just nodded a couple of times.

"Now I better not catch you putting weight on this leg for the rest of the day, understood? You need to go somewhere, you call me"

Hiccup couldn't help but laugh at her authoritative tone. "Alright, your majesty"

He kissed her cheek once before saying in her ear, "That's for taking such good care of me"

That finally got a smile out of her. "if anything, I'm the one who owes you for saving me"

"I'm afraid that reason goes both ways sweetheart, but if you really want to do something for me, I had... one small request"

"Yes?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

His face felt extremely hot knowing what he was about to say, but he was determined not to chicken out now.

"Tonight after we go to bed, can I... can I hold you?" he asked in a small voice, bracing himself for the punch, or a kick, or-

Turns out, what he should have braced for, was his wife launching herself into his arms and tackling his mouth with hers.

Half a dozen enthusiastic kisses later, she pulled away with rosy cheeks and replied coyly, "I was almost beginning to think you'd never ask"


Hope you guys enjoyed this long and especially heartfelt chapter!

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! Each one of them makes my day :'D

Song Recommendation: 'Everything I need' by Skylar Grey. The lyrics fit perfectly with this chapter especially, do give it a listen if you're interested!