Hi everyone... Sorry this chapter took a little longer than the others. Ive had a lot of things going on including yet another lock down... Thank you all for your comments.

Someone took a stab at my fic in one of the comments, soz cant remmber your name and cant be arsed going back to check but Im going to say this: dont tell me where and when or what to post. I dont owe it to you or anyone else to tag what I write just because you came to read EO - crazy, but there are other valid ships besides EO... but since you asked, since december this has been clearly as a non EO. If you ever took notice of my earlier a/ns youll see that I did not know where I wished for this fic to go. It was originally to be a one shot focusing on Melinda and Liv's friendship. A friend requested Trevor and Olivia to hook up but for it to ultimately be an EO fic... but I liked writing Trevor and Olivia and it changed course. I never once said it was going to be an EO fic but that EO does focus in this a little as a secondary plot. I dont know how far you got through this (Im guess the 300k word mark) before you thought, "naaaah this isnt for me"... but thats not my problem. I write this for free and I'm not obliged to live up to what each individual reader wants me to write just as you are not obliged to get to 300k words living in hope that... Also, its unkind to make little digs at my fic being a 300k trevor/liv baby story... isnt that just every other fic but in EO? so what. Read something else, theres an abundance of fics on this website, take your stab... leave me and my fic alone.

Also, to anyone else who feels the same... you are also free to go and read something else rather than living in hope. THIS IS NOT A FIC WHERE EO WILL BE FEATURED AS A ROMANTIC COUPLE.

I thought i made it pretty clear by writing 300k words of Trevor and Liv... but here we are...

Anyway... enjoy the story... I am falling asleep, so some of this is unedited, forgive me. Also, I wanted to delete a chunk of the Erika/Olivia chat but Abbie said I wasn't allowed, so if it sucks and its boring, blame her.


Trevor stretched out and rolled over on to his side. It was nice to have had an unbroken sleep for the first night in months since he'd had Eloise and Noah permanently living with him. It was freezing and he felt Olivia stirring beside him. He glanced at her over his shoulder and wondered if she was cold wearing just her black underwear beneath the covers.

He slid out from beneath the warmth of their blankets, flinching as the cold air nipped at his bare skin. He turned on the heater on the wall as he made his way to the bathroom to pee.

He shivered as he emerged and put on a pair of winter pajama pants Olivia had insisted on buying him despite his protest. He threw on a tank top and got back in to bed. He waited til he was warm and moved closer to warm up his wife-to-be. Her skin was a little cool to the touch but she had also ran a little hotter since being pregnant.

He decided since he wasn't sure how long before it would be til a sleep-in occurred again, he rolled back over on to his own side and tried his best to go back to sleep.

A half an hour later he sat up slowly to the sound of Olivia writhing around beside him. He immediately thought she was having a bad dream and was anxious to wake her up or comfort her. As he was about to lay his hand on her softly to comfort her and avoid startling her, she made a sound that he was definitelyused to hearing.

He smiled to himself smugly.

She wasn't having a bad dream, he realized. She was having a good dream.

A very, very good dream by the look of it. He slowly laid back down and sidled up to her, placing his hand over her stomach, smoothing his hand over her skin, hoping to amp the dream up a little.

Instead, her eyes flew open. She was breathless, surprised and her cheeks turned a soft hue of pink.

"Good morning sweetheart," he smiled cheekily at her.

She stretched and moaned with frustration and rolled on to her side. He didn't take it personal, she often woke a little grumpy. He chuckled, "don't be a grump…" he placed his hand on the back of her shoulder. He noticed his touch produced goosebumps almost instantly upon the surface of her skin.

"Liv… did you have a good dream?" he teased.

She turned over back flat to stare at him, "why?"

He smirked, "I dunno, just sounded like something good was happening to you…"

She tried to hide her smile but he roused it out of her. Her cheeks began to burn with embarrassment. "Olivia Benson," he teased, "who did you have a sex dream about?" he wanted to know.

"Stop it!" she covered her face, "I didn't have a sex dream."

"Oh yes you did, you moaned just like you do when I have my mouth on you…" he continued, pulling her hand from her face. "Was it me?" he asked, "it better have been me," he added with a smile, truly not caring if it was him or not.

"Trevor cut it out," she tried to act serious but she couldn't help but to laugh at him. He was getting a lot of joy from teasing her.

"If you admit to me you had a sex dream about me or someone else, I will stop," he replied, a big grin spread across his mouth that she couldn't deny looked so irresistible right after what she had just experienced in her dream.

Despite her burning cheeks she sighed, "Yes, I just had a sex dream about you, okay? Can we drop it…"

"Oh see now, no we can't drop it… I want to know, was it good?"

"Oh my goodness," she muttered beneath her breath. She sighed, "yes, it was good except for you touching me woke me up…"

"Sorry…" he replied, kissing her cheek and another kiss on her shoulder and upper arm.

"Tell me about it… was it my ordinary work or something different?"

"I can't…" she replied with a bashful laugh, wriggling around from the softness of his lips against her skin so early in the morning.

He leaned in as close as he could get, letting his lips brush against her earlobe, kissing the skin just beneath her ear. "Sure you can…" he replied, taking her lobe softly between his teeth, nipping at her, "if you tell me…" he spoke, his words playful, reverberating against her ear causing every bit of hair at the back of her neck to raise up, "I can reenact it…"

He watched her eyes fall closed, breathless just thinking about it.

"Now?" she asked him.

"Is there any other time I am going to get to give you a little morning glory without being silent and not having to rush?" he asked. He leaned in again, "I want you to tell me everything that I did to you…"

She turned her head to capture a kiss that he was about to plant on her hairline. "Okay…" she agreed but paused, "I'm too embarrassed, I don't think-"

"Liv, relax," he said, "I am the last person you should be shy around…" he reminded her, "I've seen everything." She managed a laugh. He was right.

"You…" she was barely able to look him in the eye, "you wanted to give me… a uh…" she cleared her throat nervously, "a massage…"

A little smile found its way across her lips. "Like, a back massage or…?"

"An everything massage…"

"Ooft…" he muttered, "were you naked? Please tell me you were naked…" he chuckled.

She seemed nervous to tell him everything but he kissed her in between her words, trying to take away any hint of embarrassment or insecurity.

"It was confronting cos… you undressed me but you kept your clothes on."

"Then… I better start acting out your fantasy…" he replied to her, letting her lower lip catch between his teeth. He watched the rise and the fall of her chest as he released her and moved south.

"Not a fantasy, a dream," she corrected him.

"When we're done here, you'll be calling it your fantasy," he replied nonchalantly.

He pulled back the covers and was thankful for turning the heating on earlier. He glanced at her fuller body now that she was pregnant. Her breasts were bigger than usual, her belly was starting to look bigger – he slid his thumbs down the elastic of her underwear at her hips and pushed them down slowly, scooting back until he pulled them off over her feet.

"Don't look at me, I feel like a whale," she laughed, reaching for the covers. He snatched them away.

"Are you kidding me?" he laughed, "Liv, can you just worry about telling me what to do, what happened in your dream? I am going to worry about how hot you look… shall I get some oil from the bathroom?" he asked.

She covered her eyes and groaned with what sounded like frustration.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She laughed, "how are you so fucking hot?" she asked, "yes I want the damn oil…"

They both laughed together as he got up to get something from the bathroom. It was oil from when she first became pregnant and her back had ached so badly that he had given her an actual massage.

"Can you take some clothes off?" she asked him, "I feel exposed.

"I like it…" he smiled. "Now … come on, tell me about this sex dream, where did I start… were you on your back? Is it the kind of massage where I get to rub down your entire body and then some?"

"Yeah…" she said softly, her throat going a little dry.

"Where first…" he asked, straddling her, knees on either side of her waist.

"My shoulders," she told him, "you massaged the oil from my shoulders up my neck softly at first and then firm and you changed it up… you did that thing that makes me go crazy with your finger tips over my collarbone."

Trevor smiled fondly at her. He loved to tease her by letting his touch barely graze over her skin; every time it gave her goose bumps.

He squirted some massage oil in to his hands and warmed it up, rubbing his hands together. "Why are you loving this so much?" she managed to laugh, "you basically received nothing in my dream," she informed him bluntly.

He grinned at her, "because… it's fun and sexy that you dreamed about me. And you know, it doesn't have to be exact to the dream," he winked. "It could finish different."

He watched her take a long, deep breath in and smiled as she exhaled. He loved her, he thought as the morning glow lit the room. "Better continue to do as I say then…" she replied in a soft voice, almost as if she were a little shy about it.

Olivia wasn't shy, he knew that, but she was a little reserved when it came to asking for things, or being as open in the bedroom as he was. "Okay, shoulders and neck first, let's see…" he smiled and laid his slick, warm hands over her shoulders and began to massage her skin, firmly at first, using his thumbs to make circles in to the pressure points.

"Close your eyes if you like…" he said gently, sensing that she was feeling exposed and a little self-conscious. Olivia did as he suggested and tried to let herself relax but if she was honest, she felt a little silly and embarrassed despite how much Trevor seemed to be in to her telling him about her dream bit by bit.

She felt his hands glide up her neck, the tips of her fingers disappearing briefly in to the hair at her nap, his thumbs smoothing over her throat. His touch was sensual in all the right places and firm in others.

She swallowed hard thinking about her dream and all the other places his lathered hands had been. "You massaged my arms, right down to my fingertips," she told him. Without missing a beat, she felt his hands make their way down her left arm, pausing briefly for more oil. "Were you an oily mess?" he asked with a little chuckle.

She chuckled too and opened her eyes to see his face looking amused. He leaned over to kiss her mouth softly. "I was a little oily," she admitted as he drew away. Without another word, he squirted the liquid down both of her arms and smoothed his hands up and down them until focusing back just on one at a time.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

She looked at him and smiled and nodded, "it feels really good," she admitted, "sorry if I'm being… funny."

"Wait-" he paused, "did I read this all wrong, are you not in to this?" he asked, "cos the last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable… you don't really have to go in to the dream if it makes you uncomfortable," he said gently, sensing that she was holding back. "the fact that she was apologizing for her feelings made him realize she wasn't entirely present with him."

"I am—I do, I just… I'm not as … blunt about things as you can be… but I want to be."

"Okay," he nodded, "Liv, if you wanted me to do something a little out there… like, I don't know… if you wanted me to do butt stuff, I would be open and I wouldn't bat an eyelid to you bringing it up—I want you to be open with me but I also want you to say if it's not something you're in to."

"You wanna do butt stuff?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, hardly expecting that from him.

He went to protest and then laughed, "No Liv, I don't want to do butt stuff, I'm just saying that nothing you could say would make me uncomfortable. There's stuff we might need to have a discussion around, but whatever you want—I want you to be able at least tell me – I want us to keep having amazing sex so… if you really want me to reenact the dream that made you blush and squirm around in bed, you need to start getting blunt with me…"

She chuckled. His finger tips brushed all the way down her own to the tips and back up her arms with the lightest, grazing touch he could manage without breaking contact.

"You rubbed oil in to my chest after that," she informed him. "Softly, avoiding my-"

"say it…" he whispered in to her ear, "if you say it, I'll do it, whatever you want…" his lips caught her cheek.

"my nips," she chuckled, the bristles of his beard, tickling the side of her face as his lips brushed against the shell of her ear. She enjoyed his deep bass-y chuckle reverberating against her.

He took her breasts in his hands, he knew some days they were more sensitive than others and sometimes they hurt her and other times they didn't. He loved the softness of her skin that felt like silk against his hands. She loved the feel of his thumbs softly making circles, pressing in to her skin.

"You put your tongue on me…" she said so quietly that he had to let her words register.

"Like this?" he asked, covering her breast with his mouth, letting his tongue graze the peak of her nipple. He felt Olivia writhe beneath him and let out a little moan.

"Y-yeah," she stammered, "l-like that…" the heat of his mouth made her brain a little fuzzy and the feel of his tongue swirling around her was enough to stir up feelings all over again in the pit of her stomach. He thumbed at her other nipple with his other hand. He paid attention to her breasts equally, planting a few wide, open-mouthed kisses elsewhere on her body.

"You put oil all over my stomach and thighs and massaged all the way down to my feet and you drove me crazy by not touching me, but you don't have to do that…"

"Wait, how can I massage you if I'm not touching you?" he teased, knowing exactly what she was getting at.

"Trevor…c'mon you know what I mean…"

He chuckled, "just say it…"

She fell silent and enjoyed the feel of his hands rubbing gently over the swell of her belly, holding her firm once he got to her hips.

"You avoided touching me between my legs, but you don't have to…. You can touch me there whenever you want…" she laughed lightly

"Mmmm, I think we should hold true to the dream," he replied back, finding himself a little restricted in his pants.

He couldn't help himself, he planted some soft kisses on her belly and continued to move south, spreading the pools of oil down her skin to her thighs, easing himself back further until he was almost at the foot of the bed. She allowed him some space between her legs where he sat, working on his calf muscles, pressing his fingers in to her skin, feeling his thumb pushing in to her inner legs all the way up to her knees and back down, slicking her skin with the oils.

She lost herself and groaned in pleasure. She knew she should have felt self-conscious with his vantage point, but she was too taken by the spell he'd cast over her with his touch to care.

Trevor eyed her closely, watching the rise and fall of her chest, knowing that she was slowly losing her inhibitions. He didn't need her to really tell him much about what he was going to be doing next. He paused briefly to use a tiny bit more oil, rubbing it in to his slick hands and moving up her legs, covering her thighs with his warm touch.

"You we- you were teasing me, but… I don't think I could deal with that right now."

"I was teasing you, huh?" he asked with a soft smile. He watched her hips slowly begin to writhe beneath his touch as she longed for his hands to end the torturous anticipation. "how so?" he paused to kiss the inside of her knee. Her skin was inviting and he had a rock hard erection from being able to visibly see how aroused she was.

She sighed and let out a long breath. "You kept rubbing my thighs, you get to a certain point and move your hands away—back down my legs and back up, going further up each time…"

He followed what the order of her dream, firmly smoothing his hands over her outer thighs down to her knees and up to her hips over and over again. He stationed his hands on her knees one more time and began to shift to the inside of her thighs, circling his thumbs as he moved further up to her apex and back down again until she quivered beneath him and begged for him to stop teasing.

"Breathe baby," he warned her, realizing just how worked up she was. Her body trembled beneath his touch. Her body stilled for a second as he traveled up to her apex, his touch connecting with the spot that she was all but begging him to touch.

"Fuck…" she cursed in a barely audible voice.

He continued massaging her in the intimate space between her legs, his touch was feather light and it was driving her crazy. He began to kiss his way up her body, sliding his fingers inside of her, ending her torture. She gasped with pleasure.

His mouth found hers. She kissed him hard, pulling him against her. "Is this part of the dream?" he asked, with a little chuckle as he briefly pulled away from her mouth.

"Just don't stop, fuck the dream…" she muttered.

Purposely, he decided to go slow, pulling his fingers from her, drawing circles on the inside of her thighs. Her anticipation was high. Her eyes clamped shut tightly and he watched her own hand fall over her own breast. He was surprised but in to it. He watched her fingertips brush over her nipples and it was almost time for him to shut his eyes with arousal.

He didn't want to miss it for a second, though. He slipped his fingers back inside of her and moved within her walls in a gentle circular motion, slipping his thumb against her clitoris.

Trevor massaged her slowly, listening to her his with pleasure as she let her hands glide over her own skin.

"Baby, you look so hot…" he couldn't help but to remark as he lowered his head down between her legs. He ran his tongue along her centre; back and forth slowly and torturously, enjoying the sound of her moaning. He covered her with his mouth, circling his arms beneath her thighs, steadying her as his tongue found the hardened bead at her opening.

"Fuck…" her hips bucked and she whimpered with pleasure as he continued burying his tongue within her well. He flicked his tongue over her the tiny, ball of nerves and paying it all of his attention. He enjoyed the way her body writhed beneath him and her soft ass cheeks clenched and relaxed again with anticipation.

He felt her begin to come before she even realized it was happening. Her hips bucked and her body trembled but Trevor tried his best to keep Olivia still.

"I'm coming," she told him urgently.

"Its okay," he replied, knowing that she was self-conscious with him between her legs. "relax, don't worry about me…" he continued to cover her with his mouth, wanting her orgasm to last as long as possible. He felt it rippling through her as her body spasmed involuntarily beneath him.

He continued to work on her, kissing her intimate spaces softly and lingeringly until she calmed down.

Slowly, he snaked his way back up beside her. He smiled with satisfaction to see her flushed, breathless face. He briefly planted a kiss on her lips, not wanting to freak her out after he'd been so deep between her legs.

"Kiss me…" she commanded him.

"You're okay with that?" he asked with a little laugh.

"Uhh…" her cheeks went a darker shade of pink, "I guess? I mean, if its good enough for you... surely I have no right to be weird about this?" she chuckled but then second guessed herself, "do I?"

Trevor laughed. "It's not that serious, sweetie…" he kissed her again, this time lingeringly. "Are you all good?" he asked once he had pulled away. He laid his head down and marveled at her.

"Yeah…" she sighed with a fatigued smile. "My brain is a bit fuzzy still…"

"Was it okay? As hot as your dream?"

She chuckled. "Better than my dream, my heart…" she murmured. "You're really such a good sport…" she told him pensively.

He laughed too. "Its nice to do something different, right?" he asked and shrugged, "try new things once in awhile."

She turned to face him and reached out for him. "That sounds a little loaded, what new things?"

He shrugged, "it's not loaded and I don't mean anything by it. I'm very content but it's totally hot when you're direct and if you do want to try something, I want you to ask, I always want you to ask…"

She smiled softly. "Is there something that you want that I haven't done? Is that where all this is coming from?"

Trevor laughed, "No, Olivia, I promise – but if there was some kind of hot idea that makes its way in to my head, I hope that we could table it for discussion…"

"Of course… but I mean… I'm not exactly prude-ish but … I dunno, my experiences have been kind of tame to be truthful."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "Mine too… but I like that we can have a laugh with it and it doesn't have to be intense and serious all the time. I love that we can make love in bed but then fuck in the kitchen after breakfast," he told her boldly. "Or… at the beach."

"Maybe one day as we're passing each other to get out the door for work…"

Trevor rose his eyebrow and grinned at her. "What, like a … quickie before we walk out the door?"

"Sure, why not? Or maybe at work at the Captain's desk…"

Trevor laughed, "now that would be so fucking hot, Benson, I would full expect you to Captain that situation."

"Don't give me ideas, sweetheart," she chuckled, circling her arms around him, drawing him near. Trevor lifted her thigh over his hip, drawing her close, taking her ass in his hands.

"I fucking love you Olivia Margaret Benson…" he told her with a kiss. "And I cannot wait to call you my wife."

"I love you Trevor William Langan… thanks for making me come harder with you than anyone else I've ever been with, including myself." She laughed in spite of herself.

He kissed her again. "That's the sexiest thing to hear… I'm gonna need some information about you making yourself come…"

Olivia laughed, "Of course you are. But didn't we discuss this months ago?"

"No." he shook his head with a playful smile, "So when did you last make yourself come? For science of course," he chuckled.

"I don't knoooowwww…" she pushed him away, blushing, "like a week ago? Maybe two…"

"What!" he exclaimed, "where was I!?" he started to laugh, surprised, "how often does this happen without me?!"

"I don't know, stop! You were probably at work or you probably –" she paused, "oh yeah it was when you took the kids to the park…" she chuckled, "trust me, if you were here and the kids were in bed or whatever, I would have preferred you to be present but… even if you got back, the kids wouldn't have left us alone long enough…. Okay stop, no more, I'm so embarrassed."

She covered her face but Trevor stopped her and chuckled. "No baby, its really hot," he insisted, "I love the idea of you making yourself come. Do you … use something or your hands or….." he was curious and trying to imagine what it would be like to watch.

"I'm a traditional gal," she told him with a pink-faced laugh, "the shower head…"

"Oooft…" Trevor flopped back on his side of the bed, thinking about it, trying to recreate an imagine in his head. "I'm gonna need to watch one day…"

"Never," she replied, "not ever."

"We'll see…" he challenged her. He decided to drop it, realizing she was embarrassed and growing a little uncomfortable. He let it go, but an idea was brewing within him.

"Okay… shower and we should get up and enjoy this last day of silence," Olivia suggested. "And maybe if you're lucky we can do something about your giant erection," she nodded toward the bulge in his pants.

Trevor began to laugh at her candor. "That'd be nice… maybe we could involve the shower head," he teased with a little wink.

Olivia rolled her eyes.

/

"I am going to miss the absolute crap outta you…" Trevor told Olivia as she picked up her over-night bag. She chuckled. "But I do love that you're having a bonding experience with my sister."

"Erika needs some girl time and to be honest, as much as I'm gonna miss you guys, I am kind of looking forward to it," she smiled. Trevor followed her down the stairs.

"Okay guys!" Olivia announced to the kids who were sitting at the table eating their early dinner. "I'm leaving now… are you both gonna be so good for Daddy?" she asked them. Trevor had to admit, the kids both loved the tinned spaghetti that he hadn't been convinced about.

Eloise jumped up with alarm, trying to climb out of her booster seat "no!" she exclaimed, "no I want you to stay!"

"Sit down," Trevor told Eloise sternly, "you don't climb out of your chair."

She sat down quickly at her father's reproachful tone but she immediately burst in to tears, crying loudly.

"Oh brother…" Noah sighed, clapping his hand over his forehead.

"Its alright…" Olivia pouted, feeling a pang of guilt for leaving them for the night. "Why are you sad?" she asked, making a beeline to Eloise who was sometimes sensitive when someone was leaving to go somewhere. "I'm coming back tomorrow to spend time with you and Noah and Daddy…"

"I wanna come with you…" she wailed.

"For goodness sakes," Trevor muttered, "Elly, settle down, there's no need to cry like that."

Olivia eyed him and shook her head, a little annoyed with him for getting frustrated with his daughter. "She's allowed to be upset for all the reasons we've been discussing," she hissed at him.

"What a baby," Noah remarked with a roll of his eyes as if her behavior bored him, shoveling more spaghetti in to his mouth. His comment caused Eloise to cry more.

"Excuse me," Olivia stared their son down, "that's not helping thank you very much." She turned to Eloise, "if you came with me, you wouldn't be able to have fun with Daddy and Noah," she said with a reassuring smile. She knew that Trevor had some activities planned for them to do together. She loved that he liked to have loose plans of how to spend time with them so that they didn't get bored and subsequently misbehave.

Eloise looked to Trevor for confirmation.

"Mommy is right," he said with a shrug, "I had thought we might play some games after dinner and then we could watch a movie with some popcorn and in the morning I was gonna take you and Noah to get a special treat for breakfast..."

"Daddy could you get us a Kleenex?" Olivia asked as Eloise seemed to calm down a little.

Trevor made his way to the kitchen and got her a tissue and brought it over so Olivia could wipe her baby's eyes and nose. She kissed her forehead. "I promise you that I'll be back before you know it and you can tell me all about your fun night okay?"

Eloise sniffled and nodded.

"Its okay to be sad when Mommy or Daddy leaves for a little while, but we always come back, even if it seems like we've been gone awhile." Olivia gave her back a gentle rub and Trevor watched on, feeling a little bad for snapping at his daughter. He had to sometimes remind himself that Eloise was still dealing with her mother's passing and had sometimes still freaked out when he or Olivia were leaving for prolonged periods of time.

"Okay," Olivia held out her arms. "Give Mommy a biiiiiiiiiig hug!"

She managed to get a giggle from Eloise who held out her arms. Olivia cuddled her closely and covered her cheek in loud, dramatic kisses. Eloise let out a fit of giggles that warmed Trevor's heart to watch. He was always amazed at how quickly she managed to calm and comfort both of the kids when they were distressed.

"I love you!" Olivia grinned at her. "I will see your beautiful little face tomorrow, okay?"

Eloise nodded and Olivia settled her back in her chair. "Be good for Daddy."

She went around to Noah's side of the table. He was finishing off the spaghetti on his plate. "See you later, sweetheart… I'll be back tomorrow. Have fun tonight, okay?"

Noah nodded, "Okay Mommy, you have fun with Auntie Erika too!"

She grinned at him and kissed his forehead. "Bye, babe."

She picked up her bag and walked with Trevor to the door. "Sorry, I fucked up with Eloise, I didn't mean to snap…" he apologized, "I can be really insensitive some days- but I thought she could fall out of her chair."

"I know," Liv said with a small smile, "its okay, we all lose our patience some days, I've snapped at Noah before for far less. Don't be too hard on yourself but just remember they're still so small and don't understand their own emotions."

Trevor smiled. "Look at you," he nodded, "the perfect Mommy. I love you so much."

"Love you too. Have a great time with the kids. Call me if you need anything."

He gave her a hug and a kiss and opened the door for her. "See you baby, call me before bed, okay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Send me pics of the kids, I'll miss you guys."

/

Just as Olivia was just arriving she got a text from Erika. "MAYDAY MAYDAY! Lol. I'm so sorry Livy, my Mom dropped in unannounced; trying to get rid of her. I know you haven't met her, feel free to come in but if you want to avoid her until Trev is with you, that's cool too. I've just told her I'm having company. She thinks its Sonny…"

Olivia stopped in her tracks and sighed with frustration. She clamored for a moment over what to do. There was a huge part of her that was curious about meeting Trevor's mother and another part of her that felt she might have needed his support. But… Olivia remembered the things that Erika told her that her mother had said.

Perhaps she needed the support.

She'd been only briefly to Erika's to pick up Eloise once but just like Trevor she lived in a beautiful, pristine place that was hardly lived in. She lived in a secure apartment with a door man that she seemed to know well. Her place wasn't as big as Trevor's but it was every bit a as beautiful and furnished with white French Provincial pieces.

She greeted the doorman as he opened the door for her. "I am heading up to see Erika Langan," she told him, adjusting her heavy bag on to her shoulder.

"Of course," he nodded, "Ms. Langan has you down here – what was your name Ma'am?"

"Olivia Benson," Olivia replied.

"Would you like me to take that for you?" he asked, nodding toward her bag.

"Oh, no… its okay, I can manage thank you."

The doorman opened the lift for her. She thanked him and headed up.

/

Olivia took a deep breath and knocked on the apartment door. She heard some muffled voices before the door swung open. "Livvyyyy," she greeted Olivia, using Eloise's former nickname for her knowing that it made them both laugh. "Come in…" she hugged Olivia to her chest. "I hope you got my text and if you did, I love you for coming anyway."

Olivia chuckled, "I got your text. I'm here for you," she murmured, pulling away. She put her heavy bag down and glanced up in to a small hallway that lead in to a family room.

"Come on…" she followed Erika through the hall and in to a large, open plan room where the kitchen and living space was only separated by a large breakfast bar. She saw a tall, thin elderly woman sitting at the small, circle dining table with a coffee or a tea in hand. She jumped up to see Olivia.

"Oh! You must be Olivia!" she exclaimed. She had perfectly straight, white hair and eyes that replicated both her son and her daughters and even Eloise's.

Olivia smiled, "hi, Mrs. Langan?"

"I am about to become your mother-in-law, darling, you can call me, Joan. And you're about to bring me another grand child!" Awkwardly, they hugged. She was not what Olivia had expected. She was a lot older and sweeter than in her head.

Joan loosened her embrace and glanced down and placed her hands on Olivia's stomach. "Oh, wow, you're really getting big…"

"Nice to meet you, finally," Olivia replied once she pulled away, ignoring the comment about her size, choosing not to read in to it. "I've been lucky enough to meet your amazing daughter."

She felt Joan's eyes sizing her up, appraising her, trying to figure out if she was worthy of her son. Olivia was past the point of carrying what a little old lady thought of her. She considered that if her opinion mattered to Trevor, they would have met with her long ago.

"Liv would you like a drink? A glass of wine? A vodka?" her expression was serious but Liv knew Erika was only kidding.

"Oh, Erika, don't be so crass, you know Olivia is pregnant, you can't drink when you are in her condition, of course that's something you might not be-"

"Got it, Mom," Erika snapped loudly, "it was a joke."

"I'd love a big glass of vodka with a little splash of lemon," she winked at Trevor's sister.

Joan rolled her eyes at the both of them. She motioned for Olivia to sit.

"Oh, take a seat Olivia, I can't believe Trevor didn't drop you off- did you catch a cab here?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, I enjoyed the walk," she replied. The truth was that she had planned on catching a cab but each time she attempted to hail one, it was taken or someone had beaten her to it.

"Nonsense, Erika should have walked to meet you, coming all of that way—" she shook her head with annoyance.

"Actually, Mom, if you remember, I told you I was having company and that I had planned on going to meet my company, but you insisted on staying…"

"My darling daughter didn't tell me it was you, she let me think it was this …. Boyfriend that she has been talking about." Joan ignored Erika, and directed her conversation to Olivia.

Olivia could tell that Erika was at the end of her tether as she sat a drink before Liv. "Sorry, best I could do. It's a vodka and lime without the vodka."

She gave Trevor's sister a small smile. "Thank you, beautiful girl." Olivia complimented her full-well knowing that she wasn't hearing much of it from her mother.

She was so thankful that Liv was there. She smiled back at her and turned to her mother. "My boyfriend has a name. His name is Sonny, I've told you. He's at work at the moment."

Olivia could see already how hyper-critical and self-involved Trevor's Mom was. She hadn't bothered ask Liv a single question about herself, instead used everything that had come out of her mouth to criticize her own daughter.

"That's what you're saying," she laughed and turned to Olivia conspiratorially, "I'm starting to wonder if he exists."

Erika sat down across from Olivia with a sigh. "I work with Sonny," she told Joan, "he's one of my finest detectives as well as putting himself through law school. I introduced him to Erika and Trevor is mentoring him for his bar exam."

"Oh!" Joan exclaimed, "You never mentioned he was studying law? So he's just like my Trevor…" she smiled.

"Well, he isn't going in to law, he's staying with the NYPD, I'm not ready to let him go, he is too good at his job," Olivia told Joan as she took a sip of her water. She had only been in her company for a few moments and didn't like how it was headed. Everything Erika had said so far regarding her mother had proved to be spot on.

"Tell me more about Sonny, Olivia, since my daughter doesn't tell me a thing!"

"Oh god…" Erika groaned, not even trying to hide her annoyance. Olivia looked to Erika to see what she wanted her to do. "I've literally already told her about Sonny," she replied as if Joan wasn't sitting there, "but you'll tell her the same and she will believe you."

It felt uncomfortable, Liv felt a little caught in the middle, but Erika was being reduced to a child right before her very eyes and it hurt to watch. There was absolutely zero warmth shown to her from her mother and she knew it had to have felt heart-breaking.

"Oh honey," Joan reached over and touched her daughter's hand as if she was showing her genuine affection, "you did tell me about Sonny, it's just that you've already had such a good man and you ruined it."

Olivia widened her eyes in shock. She watched Erika jerk her wrist away from her mother. She crossed her arms defensively, "how did I ruin it?" she asked her. "Tell me?" she glanced across at Olivia; her eyes were wild with anger and she knew she was about to witness a Trevor-like burst of fury. "Tell Olivia."

"Don't get all bent out of shape in front of your company," she patronized Erika and turned to Olivia and shook her head and rolled her eyes, "honestly, dealing with boys is so much easier…"

Olivia could feel her own anger growing. She felt her ears heating up.

"Don't change the subject, you said it—explain it." Erika snapped.

"I told you already, you had a good man, Erika, Mitch was a gentleman, he had a good job, a good bit of money behind him, you can't keep living off your father's money forever, you know."

"Oh my god…" Erika murmured, breathing in slowly.

Olivia reached across the table and grabbed Erika's hand. A quiet show of solidarity. They met eyes for a moment and Olivia was certain she saw Trevor's sister blinking back tears.

"Let's just hope you don't make the mistakes you made with Mitch on this new one. If Olivia says he's a keeper, he must be a keeper."

Olivia thought of how absurd it was that Joan didn't know her but was willing to take her word over her own daughters. She felt incredibly protective of Trevor's sister in that moment.

"Still waiting to hear what mistakes you think I made…"

"You know what I'm talking about—you're going to have to be an excellent wife in order to keep a man with your … condition. Olivia knows what I'm talking about." She smiled at her, "Trevor told me that you almost married once but … you also don't have any children of your own .. and look, as soon as you're pregnant… he popped the question!"

"What!?" Erika exclaimed, disgusted. "No Mom, you need to go—"

"Hold on just a second," Olivia put her hand up, to stop Erika. She'd heard enough. "I have had a child of my own for 6 years, long before my almost-marriage which I decided to call off," she pointed out, "not him – if I'm going to be honest, this baby was not planned, it was as much of a shock to me as it was to Trevor and again, if I'm honest, Trevor wasn't entirely thrilled about it."

Joan looked shocked.

"And yes, Erika's boyfriend Sonny is a keeper. He's a from a large Italian family with lots of children and while he might want a family, he will be quite happy to stand by Erika and give her children in other ways."

"Yes but biological-"

"Biology means nothing," Olivia snapped. "I had a biological mother who was drunk, mean and useless. I would have done better with a mother that would love me and put me first and walk through fire for me. If Erika chooses to become a mother, she will be great, she would put her baby first and stand up for them, protect them and love them no matter the cost because that's what a mother does."

Joan went to open her mouth to say something but closed it again.

"And to clarify, this Mitch guy, he was in the wrong. He chose to walk away, that makes him the human garbage, not your daughter."

"I'm sorry," Olivia added, "I don't mean to be rude-"

"I think I'll go."

"That's a great idea. You've never had a better one," Erika replied. "You managed not only to insult me but also Trevor's fiancé."

Joan got up. She turned to Olivia, "I am sorry if I offended you, Olivia, you don't understand the whole picture – all I'm asking is that my daughter spend less time on her work and more time on being a good girlfriend and maybe she could have the things that she wants."

Olivia said nothing, she knew if she spoke she would explode with rage. She swallowed it down before turning to her. "I don't think being a good, obedient girlfriend can cure an issue with your daughter's reproductive system and it would be really good if you could recognize that, I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

"I'll see you again soon I hope, under nicer circumstances, maybe my boy will be there."

"Instead of your disappointing daughter," Erika smiled sarcastically.

/

Olivia picked up her phone and texted Trevor as Erika walked her mother out. "Just met your mother, I also just witnessed your mother berate your sister for half an hour and I also had words with your her because she backhandedly insulted me too. Sorry in advance but I'm sure you'll hear alllllll about it."

Olivia's phone started to ring but she canceled Trevor's call and texted him again. "I'll call you in a bit, I think Erika is going to need some comforting. Sorry."

She got a text back a moment later, "I'm so confused, did you know my mother would be there? What did she say to you? What did you say to her?"

Olivia sighed. She heard the front door slam and the footsteps trace back in to the large open plan kitchen and living area.

"Are you alright kiddo?" Olivia asked, standing up.

Erika glanced at her, her expression tight. She gave a brave smile. "Ladies and gentleman, my mother!" she did little jazz hands, trying to pretend that she wasn't at all bothered by their exchange.

"Ez, you can talk to me… it's okay." Olivia pushed gently.

"I'm used to it, Liv," she replied, heading in to the kitchen. "Are you okay if I have an alcohol drink?"

"Sure…" Olivia gave her a reassuring smile. "Well, if you need to talk about it, I'm here for you," she offered. She watched Erika reach in to the freezer and pull out a bottle of vodka. She poured herself a generous amount and added some soda to it.

"I'm really sorry she insulted you too. The infuriating thing is that she genuinely doesn't understand how toxic and offensive she is."

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I am so sorry that you were hurt by her words… you know that everything she said is untrue, right?" Olivia got up and made her way over to Erika.

"Well… no, I don't know that because so far her words have been true," the young woman shrugged, blinking back tears as she took a long mouthful. "I had someone who I thought was the love of my life and he –" she shook her head and took another mouthful. "Nevermind, its fine… Sonny Carisi is a good person, you said it yourself."

"Yes, I did. He is a good person, he'll do the right thing."

"Except…" she paused and glanced at Olivia nearing her, "I don't want him to do the right thing, I want him to stay with me despite my reproductive issues because he wants to and loves me… what if he decides that he doesn't want to be with me or-"

"Stop it…" Olivia said gently, "you and Sonny have been together for almost a month and I think he'd know by now whether or not he is able to fall in love with you and I'm going to say for a man who was so taken by another woman for so many years, he is a totally different person."

"How so?" Erika sighed.

"Well… he barely pays any attention to Amanda anymore. I've witnessed him asking her to back-off twice. And, there's a difference between trying to bury your love for someone by replacing with another, I know, and there's none of that going on."

Erika breathed, letting go of all the air inside of her chest as if it had been storing up.

"I'm scared that I'm his rebound from Amanda," she murmured.

"Nah," Olivia shook her head and smiled. "Sonny has already had a couple of rebounds since Amanda, I wouldn't worry about that. I can see it, he is done with her and I know that feeling and know what it looks like – when suddenly your mind goes, 'Oh, right, I don't need that person anymore, they were never going to work for me,' or, 'I've been dreaming this fantasy of what we could be, the reality is this and they can't give me what I need'"

"You had that experience?" Erika asked, pouring herself a second drink. Olivia couldn't help but to stare and wondered how often her problem-drinking occurred.

"Yeah… I was in love with my partner for 12 years—he was married, 5 kids; there were many almost situations with him, but nothing ever happened – but he was fine to not have me, but also didn't want anyone else to have me."

"Wow… twelve years is a long time," she paused, "wait, Elliot?" she asked, her eyes widening.

Olivia laughed sardonically. "How do you know him?"

"When we were at Christian's party, he turned up late, he and Sonny talked for a bit and when he left, Sonny said he probably turned up looking for you. He seemed nice…"

"He's a good person at the very base of it, it was just… a very complicated situation for me at the time and now that I'm older I laugh and think, actually it wasn't that complicated… he was married, I should have told him to back off all of my love interests and my personal life. I shouldn't have let so many things cross the line of what would have been fair on his wife."

"But nothing happened between you both?" she asked curiously.

"Emotional infidelity, maybe… but even then we were both so bad with saying how we felt that it was all looks and expressions and just knowing each other so intimately on a intuitive level…" Olivia gave her a smile. "And then one day, a case went south, he shot a teenage victim and he never came back. Never called me, never said goodbye, just grabbed his family and moved and they went to Italy and never came back and I didn't hear from him for another 10 years until just recently."

"What the absolute fuck… so what, he just showed up?" Erika was incredulous. "What a piece-of-shit move… I can't believe it. You've been so nice to him!"

Olivia laughed at her reaction. She was about to sit down at the breakfast bar when Erika stopped her.

"No, no… wait… let's not sit around the kitchen. I have food prepared for us…"

"Oh no, you're not a whizz in the kitchen like your brother, are you?" Olivia asked.

"Yes I am," she laughed. "I made bread and hummus and I know cheeses are kind of out of the question – the good ones, anyway…"

"Oh my god, I love you!" Olivia exclaimed. "I actually love you."

"I love you too, thank you for having my back with my Mom, it means a lot that you saw it for what it was…"

"Always," Olivia replied, reaching over to touch her hand. She gave it a squeeze.

"Okay so I really took it seriously when you said we were going to have a girls sleep over where we can chat all night and hang out in bed and watch movies or binge watch TV…. Is that lame?" Erika asked her.

Olivia couldn't help but let her face fill with such a contented smile. "Maybe it's lame, but I don't care, I skipped out on that fun part of my teen years. I never had sleep overs or a sister to hang out with so I am incredibly excited despite how uncool that may be," Olivia replied honestly. "My upbringing was a little rough to say the least."

Erika regarded her with a serious look but Olivia didn't seem saddened by her own remark. "I never did any of that stuff either… so I got you some cans of soda water with infused fruit and I got us some snacks and chocolate and Trevor told me you properly crave Puttanesca, so I made some… so let me know when you want to eat."

"Could you please just come and live with us?" Olivia asked, not even signaling that she was joking. "Trevor is sometimes too busy to cook and Lucy is great and sometimes cooks but your brother is the real chef."

She started to laugh. "Oh right, could you imagine that? Trevor would treat me like his eldest child and would limit the amount of times Sonny comes over and he wouldn't allow Sonny to sleep over and would go nuts if he actually suspected we were having sex under his roof."

Olivia threw her head back and laughed. It was true, she knew how protective Trevor was. "You're not wrong."

"Okay do you want to eat dinner or bread and hummus?"

"Mmmm, I'm scared if I eat bread and hummus I won't want to eat dinner."

Erika laughed, "you're eating for two, you'll need to fill up. Well let's eat dinner soon and we'll see how we feel afterwards."

"Okay sure,"

"Let me know when you're hungry… so let me show you around my place officially and then I want to hear the rest of that Elliot Stabler story and we can erase that whole awful situation with my mother out of the equation."

Olivia laughed.

Erika guided her down the the hallway. She showed her the office she'd set up for studying. Olivia smiled; it was very girly. There were a lot of medical books but interspersed with almost child-like posters and a huge vision-board which was methodically set out with pictures and words. "This is great.."

"Thanks… I guess I won't be using as much now that I'm not studying."

"Do you think you might pick it back up again?" Olivia asked curiously.

She nodded, "I guess, when the time is right – I just wanted some time to breathe—and to sleep, I barely sleep, Liv and then with everything that happened with Mitch, there was a lot of things I needed to address."

The continued down the hall to the guest room, "this is where Sonny stays when he sleeps over," she joked.

She and Olivia laughed, "Bullshit."

"Well, that's what I'll be telling Trevor if he asks," she chuckled. Finally at the end of the hall was her own room. It was double the size of the other two and had a bathroom ensuite. She had a huge California King-size in the middle of the room and while it was not as opulent as Trevor's townhouse, it was still nicer than anything she'd ever lived in.

"Gorgeous room, I love your bed…"

"Thanks… It's no Trevor Langan slash Bruce Wayne get up…"

Olivia laughed, "I called it his James Bond Palatial Manor, I believe… It really threw me because I gathered he had money but I saw that place…" she shook her head, "it was really intimidating to me."

Erika smiled at her, "and then you find out my brother is just a little bit of a softy and he becomes far less intimidating."

She smiled. Erika set her drink down on the nightstand beside her bed and got herself nice and comfortable on the right side of the mattress. "Okay big sis, come and get comfortable on the best bed you'll ever sleep on and tell me the rest of this Elliot Stabler story."

Olivia loved how cut-and-dry Erika was. She was sweet, mature in a lot of ways but she just saw a little girl come out that was incredibly alone and begging to be loved in a way that her mother couldn't provide. It seemed suddenly as clear as day to her.

She set her own water down and got comfortable beside Trevor's little sister.

"There's not really much to tell – he disappeared and now he's back and I've met Trevor and I don't know if he came back because of me, I just know that it's too late and the way he left was brutal and heartbreaking and I wouldn't treat an animal the way he treated me," she paused realizing she was talking fast because if she spoke slowly and considered her words, she might also have to consider how much it still hurt. "So I'm not exactly forgiving—maybe one day—but it doesn't matter because it'll never be the same. I have Trevor and once I decided to move on from Elliot, it literally just …" she shook her head and shrugged, "it was done."

Erika smiled as Olivia shifted on to her side, her belly was getting bigger – at 20 weeks she seemed to pop out and knew that there was no way she could go back to work and hide it anymore.

"You really do love my brother, don't you?" she asked.

Olivia laughed, "I do…" she glanced down at her love-lock ring that she had to wear until he received the ring that he'd customized for her. She was promised it was only days away. "I love Trevor, I love Eloise and I love you."

Erika grinned at her, a little embarrassed. "I love you and Noah too Liv," she smiled a little bashful. The idea of having a sister meant the world to her – she knew she would have someone she could go to and she would be able to quit turning up hoping and praying that this time her mother might say the right thing when she needed help.

"And…I think I love Sonny—but I'm so frightened of him breaking my heart. I keep giving him reasons to leave, giving him the opportunity to tell me he has reservations but he's so steadfast."

"I did that a lot with Trevor in the beginning—it's just fear and it's normal. You've been so deeply hurt and you have that very fear of abandonment that I had…"

"Because of Elliot…" Erika guessed.

"Yes and … other people too… a guy that I was in a relationship with for a few years after that…" she paused, "uh after a work situation I got involved with, he tried to support me but it became to hard for him and he eventually left."

"Wait-" Erika halted her, "what work situation?" she wondered, thinking that Olivia might have got herself in to trouble.

"Ah," she smiled despite the tension building in her face, "I don't know if you know this and I'm sorry that I probably can't tell you many details because… it's hard to talk about but I was kidnapped by a pretty violent criminal–" she swallowed her words hard and avoided Erika's eye. It was the first time she had spoken about it in months since she had last told Trevor the details. "he held me for 3 days before I managed to incapacitate him…" she finished.

"Oh my gosh, Liv!" she breathed, "that is so …. I can't even imagine."

"Yeah, it was… pretty… ordinary," she managed to laugh, trying hard to keep the conversation light.

"Is he in jail now?" Erika asked.

"He's dead," she said bluntly, trying hard to remind herself of that each time the PTSD dredged itself up again. She knew Erika wanted to ask if she had done it. "I didn't kill him," she added, "but he killed himself in front of me and a child…it looked like I did it, so I was on trial – your brother actually was a god-send with Noah. He fought for me tooth-and-nail, we might not have been friendly, but he did such a great job for me and never asked for a cent."

"How long ago was this?" Erika asked.

"Four years ago," she replied.

"Did you get hurt, I mean—you survived but—" she paused, "surely that wasn't easy."

"I got hurt, yes," Olivia nodded, "he wanted me to suffer and I did to some degree, but I survived and the whole time I wanted Elliot to save me, because that's what he would have done – he knew me intuitively as a detective and we were always saving each other's asses. He didn't show up so I saved myself which I'm glad about, but even after he found out what happened to me, he never came or picked up the phone—that's when I made my decision that whatever was still there, it was gone. I can never forgive him for just walking out of my life." She felt herself feeling uneasy, realizing that most of her anger toward Elliot was based around abandonment. He continually framed his disappearance as if he was doing her a favor – it was always about him and not once did he ever consider her.

"Does Trevor know all of this?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "One of the things that I love most about Trevor is his patience and persistence… he knew what happened to me, obviously, it was a big deal at the time – every time I tried to run from him, he just talked – even when I couldn't talk… I've never had someone not just give up and run the other way."

"Me either…" Erika murmured, looking up at the roof. "Mitch used to think it was funny when he'd watch my mother berate me, because of course she worshiped the ground he walked on," she explained.

"I'm sorry that you've had that experience with your Mom," Olivia said kindly, resting her hand on Trevor's little sister's arm. "But you know, you can always talk to me – I'll tell you if I think you're in the wrong but I won't ever let you forget your worth. Your Mom defines a lot of worth in fertility and I'm here to tell you that that is just not the case."

Erika was grateful to have someone like Olivia on her side. Her swift way of dealing with her mother was proof that she was a protector by nature. "Thank you…" she murmured, trying not to get too emotional.

She thought for a moment, "And I'm sorry all that happened to you—I know I'm probably the last person you ever want to talk about it with, but I am here if you ever do, I promise."

Olivia smiled. She knew she would never go in to the details with Erika – despite not being that much older than her, she still did feel a slight maternal approach toward her especially given what she had witnessed earlier.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me… I am okay. I've had a lot of therapy and Trevor and I have talked about it in some detail so that's actually helped with the PTSD and the bad dreams – so I'm dealing okay..."

"Good."

Olivia shifted uncomfortably again, her back was in a little pain. "How's the baby going?" Erika changed the subject, noticing Olivia wince and grab her swollen belly each time she had to move.

"Good… I am going to book our second sonogram tomorrow – I'm hoping we can get in to find out the sex of the baby," she smiled, "you wanna come?"

"No, you guys go this time, but you have to call me as soon as you're done and tell me."

"Well… Trevor and I thought it might be fun for the kids if we did a little gender reveal for them so maybe you and Carisi could come over for dinner…"

"Oh my god! That's so cute! Yes count me in for sure, I'll have to see if Sonny wants to come."

"Okay great, Trevor is gonna make the kids little cupcakes with traditional gender colored cake inside."

Erika grinned, "Oh, that's so sweet!" she replied.

Olivia smiled. "I can't wait for this baby…" she murmured, looking down at the swell, holding it in both hands. She turned and looked at Erika, "Sorry," she said quickly.

"Liv, its alright you're allowed to be happy around me. You should be – this is your child and I'd be weird if you weren't excited."

"I hope you're excited to be an aunt…" Olivia said, rubbing her belly absently the way she had started to do without really noticing. It was one thing that Trevor had commented on, how much it delighted him to watch.

Trevor's sister reached across and touched Olivia's belly. "I am so excited. I think you're having a boy."

Olivia smiled at the thought, "Yeah? Did you know Trevor and I have already picked out a name for a boy?" she asked.

"Ooohh what is it?!" Erika sat up, excited.

"We-eeelllll, we are thinking of Theodore – Teddy for short."

"Oh my goodness, please let this baby be a boy!" Erika exclaimed, "that is the cutest name ever."

Olivia laughed. "We have a couple of names that we like for a girl but I'm set on Penelope – Penny."

"That's freaking adorable too!" she chuckled happily.

"Thanks kiddo," Olivia replied.

"Okay let's go eat dinner…" Erika suggested.

/

"No Mom," Trevor said firmly, "Nope." He glanced at Noah and held up his index finger to signify to give him a moment. "I don't really care what was said… you have no right to speak to Erika like that – or Olivia. Goodness sakes, could you have held back just this once?"

His mother ranted at him and he held the phone away from his ear, making an irritated face that Noah found to be funny. He giggled behind his hand, knowing he shouldn't have been laughing.

Trevor caught his expression and couldn't help but to smirk at him. He held up his finger to be quiet. He waited for some silence.

"Look, I can't talk right now and I'm not interested in this conversation. I hope I never hear you speaking to Liv or Erika the way you did tonight because I just really don't think it's forgivable or acceptable behavior for a woman of your age and experience…"

His mother started again and he hadn't yet had the chance to speak to Olivia to find out what damage had been done but he could only imagine. "Okay Mom, gotta go, talk to you later, bye!" he called over the top of her before turning off the call and putting the phone down.

"OOohhhh…" Noah remarked, "you were naughty, your Mommy yelled at you," he continued to giggle.

Trevor was amused by Noah's reaction. "Listen, I don't want you to ever speak to your Mommy like this, okay?" he said, "my Mom is a little bit sick and sometimes she doesn't understand what she is saying, so sometimes I can't talk to her."

"Okay," Noah agreed. "I love Mommy, I wouldn't get mad at her," he replied.

"I know," Trevor smiled. "Now… back to the plan…" he said, nodding toward the list.

"So we need to get Mommy some flowers tomorrow morning for her breakfast and we need to get some berries…" he told Noah, "do you know how to write those things?" he asked.

Noah shook his head and Trevor patiently spelled the words out for the list that his son wrote slowly and carefully. He knew he could have written it faster himself, but Noah loved being involved in a secret.

"Daddy," he held the sharp grey-lead pencil perched between his fingers, "I hope Eloise won't spoil the surprise," he said softly.

Trevor smiled at him, "She won't spoil the surprise bud, she's only little and sometimes she doesn't remember to keep a secret so we're gonna keep it between you and I until we get breakfast for Mommy on Sunday morning…"

Noah smiled and nodded, "Oh when we make the pancakes can we get Nutella, Mommy loves Nutella and strawberries on pancakes."

Trevor rose an eyebrow, "Okay sure, we can do that…" Trevor knew he'd have to find an Italian Deli that sold the spread that he'd only seen in her pantry once when they were dating.

"Guess what, little man, it's a little past your bed time so we're gonna finish this in the morning before Mommy gets home," Trevor announced, "but because it's a special night and your sister is in bed and we're having Daddy and Son time, I thought that we could stay up just a little bit later and watch a movie, what do you think?"

Trevor knew Noah would try, but he would be out like a light pretty fast.

"Yeah! Will Mom be okay with that?" he asked cautiously.

"Mom isn't here and when Mom isn't here, Daddy makes the decisions, you don't always have to check with Mom that it's okay."

"Okay," Noah said. "Can I have popcorn."

Trevor looked at the time. It was almost 9pm. "Just a little bit," he replied as he moved to pack up the notebook and the pencils Noah was using.

/

Olivia was tired; she had stayed up most of the night tossing and turning and anxious about the following day, announcing to everyone that she was pregnant. It was a bit of a joke how obvious it was and she wondered how many people had noticed but decided not to say anything.

She was thankful for Trevor downstairs organizing the kids so that she could try to get some extra rest. She had accidentally woken him up twice during the night with her inability to get comfortable with her growing stomach.

She stared at the ceiling for a moment in the pitch dark of the room, thankful for the block out shutters stopping any crack of light in that made it hard to sleep while she was pregnant. She yawned and tried to will herself out of bed.

She stopped moving, hearing tiny footsteps outside of the bedroom door. She heard whispering before the door opened. She knew it was Eloise by the way she always tried to sneak in. She saw the outline of the child in the darkness, climbing in to bed. "Mommmmyyyy" she whispered inching closer. Olivia smiled to herself.

She felt the tiny, cold hands touching her shoulder, shaking her, "Mommy!" she hissed.

"Yeah babe," she said softly, "Mommy's awake, what is it?" Eloise's hands touched her cheek. She could smell milk on her breath and couldn't help but to grin.

"Daddy, Noah and me made breakfast for you!" she announced. "Do you want to eat your breakfast?"

"Oooh did you?" Olivia felt full of love. "That is so sweet, yes of course I'd love to eat it, should I come downstairs?"

Trevor appeared in the doorway, "No baby, we got you—" he replied, overhearing the conversation.

Olivia reached for the remote to open the shutters up so Trevor could see where he was going with the tray. "This is soooooo sweet, you guys…" Noah ran in and jumped on the bed.

"Get Mom her glasses, Noah…" Trevor directed him. "They're on Daddy's side." Olivia smiled at Trevor; remembering how she had ended up in his lap making love to him right before they slept the night before. He gave her a little wink in return.

"Thanks babe," Olivia replied, taking her glasses and putting them on. She eased up in bed against the pillows and waited patiently for what he had for her.

He set the bed tray down over her lap and took a seat on the edge of the bed on her side.

Olivia looked down at the large pancake spread evenly with Nutella with a chopped strawberry border around the edges and the words carefully formed with blueberries.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with a little laugh, "You guys!"

"Will you marry Daddy!" Eloise blurted out, "so we can wear pretty dresses and have a party!"

"Ellly!" Noah exclaimed.

"Its okay Noah," Trevor smiled at him. "Mommy already read her pancake."

Olivia looked up at Trevor and grinned at him. She glanced at the two kids. "Of course I'll marry Daddy!" she exclaimed, "of course…"

Trevor reached in to the pocket of his pants and pulled out her new ring. "We have this special new ring for you…" he smiled at her, "don't we guys?" he asked the kids.

"Yeahhhhh!" Eloise nodded, "it sparkles Mommy!"

Olivia grinned as Noah came to her side. She put an arm around him and kissed his cheek.

"Olivia Benson, will you officially marry us?" he asked, presenting her with the a beautiful, large diamond ring. The band was encrusted with tiny diamonds with one, large solo oval cut in the middle. It was huge and it took Olivia's breath away.

"Yes! Yes! Yes to the three of you… Wow!" she was shocked by the size of the ring, "Trev—"

"I hope you like it…" he said a little self-consciously. "I had it designed this way…"

"I love it…" she murmured, "you're right Elly, it's so sparkly and precious."

Trevor reached for her hand and removed her Cartier ring and placed it on her other hand. He held the box open and removed her new engagement ring and slid it perfectly upon her ring finger. "There… perfect size." He smiled. "And it looks … real."

Olivia examined it for a moment in awe. "Thank you, its so beautiful…" she cringed to think about how many thousands of dollars was sitting on her hand. "Are you sure this is not too much?" she asked.

Trevor cocked his head and she immediately felt bad. "Sorry—it's just… so stunning."

A smile crossed his mouth. "I can't wait for you to be my wife and to officially be Eloise's Mommy, and I'll officially be Noah's Daddy…" he leaned over, holding her hand in his and kissed her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, kissing him again, drawing his body in to hug her.

"Come here guys, I want to give you both a big hug and a kiss too…" Olivia told the kids. Trevor moved the breakfast tray out of the way and watched her as she lovingly cuddled both kids in either arm.

"Careful of Mommy's belly," Trevor reminded them both.

"Have you guys eaten breakfast?" she asked them.

"Not yet, we thought we'd sit with you…"

"Why don't I come downstairs and we can all eat together?" she asked.

Trevor smiled, "are you sure?"

Olivia nodded, "Yeah I don't want to sit here and eat while you guys still haven't eaten… I wanna be with my family while we all eat."

He lifted the tray. "We'd love that. Come on guys, it's a change of plans, Mommy is gonna come and eat with us."

/

"Are you ready?" Trevor asked her as she gathered her things, slinging her handbag over her shoulder.

"How have they not noticed that I'm with child?" she asked, looking down at her belly, holding her hand over it. Trevor handed her the small box so she could put her ring back on her finger. It was still too good to be true. She glanced at her ring, transfixed by it momentarily.

"I love this so much… it's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen and I can't believe that its mine."

Trevor stepped toward her and kissed her lips. "They haven't noticed because you think you are bigger than you are. When you're wearing this…" he touched the hem of her shirt, "it's a little baggy; it actually just looks like you've put on a little weight-" he paused, "fuck, I hope that's not hurtful, Liv, I'm really sorry-"

"No," she laughed, "its okay, I am pregnant, I've definitely put on weight… don't worry, I'm not sensitive about having a baby belly… but they all probably thing I've gained love weight."

He chuckled, a little relieved. "Okay let's go tell them…" she said, taking a deep breath. She took his hand and lead him out the doorway of her office. He trailed behind her, unsure of how her news was going to go over.

"Guys… we are heading out…" she announced.

Everyone looked up – and as an odd one-off, everyone was on shift. "but I have something I need to say – a little announcement."

"What is it?" Kat asked, exchanging glances with the other detectives. She appreciated that Carisi didn't crack a smile despite knowing what was coming.

"Well… it's two announcements actually… the first is that—" she paused, feeling very vulnerable. Trevor gave her hand a squeeze. She looked up at her beautiful husband to be who stood behind her, giving her a little smile, looking at her adoringly. "You say it… this is too much…" she murmured.

Trevor chuckled. "I asked Liv to marry me…." He told all of her detectives.

There was a collective gasp among them. "Wow! Speedy," Fin remarked, but was smiling.

"Not really," Liv replied without a beat, "we were together a lot longer than any of you knew about…"

"Congratulations!" Kat exclaimed, making a beeline, ignoring Fin.

"Wait, there's one other thing…" Liv stopped, "I'm telling you this because I don't think I can keep it to myself for long and because—well…" she paused, feeling Trevor let go of her hand and resting his upon her shoulders, standing behind her and reminding her that he had her back.

"I'm … we… we are having a baby."

"What!" Amanda exclaimed, "are you kidding? Oh my gosh! Olivia!"

A grin crossed Olivia's lips as her hand automatically landed upon her belly. "Yeah, I'm like… really pregnant, I thought you guys were either just being nice or thought I was just stacking on the love weight."

She saw Carisi chuckle knowingly.

She saw the concern on Fin's face but still she knew he was at the base of it, happy for her. They all bombarded her with hugs and congratulations.

"For the record, I didn't propose cos she is pregnant," Trevor laughed, enjoying the happy moment with her team.

"Congratulations Cap!" Carisi gave Olivia a warm hug. Trevor went to extend his hand, but Carisi drew him in and hugged him too. He couldn't place it, but he found it to be endearing and knew that there was at least one person on the squad that had his full support with Olivia. "I am so happy for you both!" he said, "show me that ring, Ez told me about it…"

Olivia laughed and showed him.

"WOW! That is some rock!" he exclaimed, "Kat, get over here… look at this rock!"

Kat's eyes widened. She looked from Liv to Trevor, "Wow! Nice one Trevor!"

He just smiled.

"Congratulations, Olivia, you deserve to be happy," Fin said at last, hugging his friend and boss.

"Thanks Fin…" she replied. Fin said nothing to Trevor except a little nod of acknowledgement. Trevor didn't care – he wasn't really a big fan of Fin and knew the feeling was mutual.

"Wait, you're not leaving though, right?" Kat asked, suddenly alarmed.

"Well—not immediately and certainly not forever," Olivia replied. "I've spoken with Garland and we're discussing my replacement. Fin has been picking up a lot of slack and now you'll all understand why I've been taking so many hours off, the exhaustion is … real."

"I can relate to that!" Amanda replied.

"How far along are you, Cap?" Kat asked, staring at the belly, "I can't believe I didn't notice… can I?" she nodded at her boss' belly.

"Sure… go for it…" Olivia smiled. Kat placed her hand on Olivia's belly. "I'm 21 weeks…"

"Wow! Wouldn't have noticed at all…" Fin replied, "but I'm old, I don't notice these things," he chuckled.

"Mmm good thing you're a detective then," Olivia replied sarcastically. "Ok well, I'll keep you guys updated on what's happening and when it'll be time for me to take leave, but… thanks for being so nice about our news and for… picking up my slack when I've been off."

"Thanks," Trevor smiled at everyone.

"Better take care of our girl, counselor," Fin called from across the room, already back at his desk. Trevor eyeballed him, irate but not wanting to show it.

"That's a given, detective," Trevor replied, avoiding his eyes. Olivia just smiled and reached up to touch his hand on her shoulder.

"OK come on, we've got an appointment to go to…"

They were off to find out the sex of their baby.