The three humans stood in surprised shock at the blond girl in front of them, arms spread wide and a rainbow that had somehow burst into flames arcing above her head. Dipper was the first to regain his senses, going over to help Grunkle Ford up from the bone crushing hug she'd given him at mention of their home dimension. His hands were squirming around underneath his coat, which Dipper recognized as the older scientist trying to remember where his concealed holster was.

"Easy there Great Uncle Ford, I don't think she's a threat. Here, let me help you up..." he said, while offering his hands to his mentor and getting Ford's six fingered ones in turn. "Easy does it." he said softly, while gingerly assisting his old relative back to his feet.

The inhabitant of this world seemed enraptured by the sight of Dipper carefully and gently helping Ford to his feet, so Pacifica was left the only one watching her, which she did with something of a scowl. "Hey, rainbow girl." she asked, not quite hostile in town but certainly guarded and not exactly friendly. "Is 'A Magical Princess From Another Dimension' what passes for a name around here or do you have something less stupid we could call you?"

"Oh, right, I'm sorry." The native responded, turning her attention back to Pacifica, seemingly embarrassed that she'd been watching the other two. "My name is Star Butterfly!"

It was obvious she expected them to have heard of her, which only made Pacifica crack her eyebrow even higher. Fortunately, Dipper stepped up to the plate to initiate diplomacy.

"Right, thank you for introducing yourself." He stated. "My name is Dipper Pines, this is Stanford Pines, and she's Pacifica Northwest. Could you, uh tell us a little more about where we are?"

Suddenly, Star Butterfly narrowed her eyes at the human boy a little, getting a look of mild suspicion on her face as her lower lip seemed to swallow her upper one in contemplation. "Maybe I could, but I want you to answer a question for me first!" Before anyone from the group could respond, she continued on. "You say you're from Earth, but what if you're not from the Earth I'm thinking of? Tell me what a nacho, a california, and a toilet are, and then maybe we'll be a little more clear."

"Well, nachos are triangle food, dipped in cheese usually, I'm not a fan of them but I could identify one if you put it in front of me..." Dipper responded, getting into the flow of conversation despite the looks of disbelief Pacifica and Ford were giving him and Star. "California is a political region within the Earth dimension, I actually grew up in California believe it or not, funny coincidence, and a toilet, well, that's, uh..."

Just as well that the awkward conversation about waste reciprocals went no further, because Star lepta forward and gave Dipper a crushing hug as soon as he'd explained his place of birth, causing the other two humans to look even more surprised. "This is AMAZING! You guys are really from exactly where I hoped you were! Oh my goodness you have to tell me what's going on back on Earth, is everything..."

"Oh boy, we've got a clingy one on our hands..." Pacifica remarked under her breath.

"Lady, I need you to get off of me okay!" Dipper stated brusquely, words mumbled by a lack of oxygen, which caused Star to abruptly draw back with a sheepish look on her face. Taking in deep breaths, he remarked "I'm sorry, but I'm carrying some fairly delicate scientific equipment on my person right now as well as a few weapons, and it's not really safe for you to keep hugging me."

All three of the humans from Earth were dressed for adventure, Star abruptly noticed. The old man had a long, tough looking coat that she could tell was bulging with full interior pockets and heavy boots over his feet, the younger boy had a full torso tan cargo vest and matching pants, whose pockets were also filled to brim and was topped with a blue cap, while the blond girl was dressed a little nicer, having a durable but smooth pair of black pants matched with a purple zip up jacket, material slick rather than fuzzy. Each of them either had a backpack or a courier bag slung over their shoulders as well.

The travelers from Earth in turn were all collectively thinking that this person looked nothing like a princess, wearing a flimsy looking, dirty and frequently stitched on dress, spiky purple boots and a devil headband. The princess line was even less convincing when she pulled out what seemed to be a child's toy and began mindlessly nibbling on it while looking at Dipper.

"You sound like someone who takes safety pretty seriously, huh? That's so nice of you." She mumbled through her chewing action, not really directing the question at anyone in particular, even though it was loud enough for all of them to hear.

"Uh... thank you?" Dipper responded, wanting to feel like he was insulted, but something about the mannerisms of this Star Butterfly made it hard to think she was intentionally putting him down. "That's just part of being a scientist. We buy our right to experiment with responsibility and rigorous safety protocols."

"You're welcome!" Star said back with smile, before looking at the three a little more seriously. "So, travelers from Earth, what brings you all to Mewni?" she asked, more inquisitive and even a little coy.

From the back of the group, Grunkle Ford seemed to startle slightly at the name of the dimension, but Dipper was quick to speak in response, keeping Star's attention on him, and as a result she didn't notice. "We're on the trail of, well, a mind demon alien abomination that calls himself Bill Cipher. He's not native to our dimension, but he attacked it, well, recently, and as some of the only people on Earth able to chase after him, we've taken up the responsibility of hunting Bill down and destroying him, before he can hurt anyone else."

Star seemed enraptured by this explanation, while Pacifica shot Dipper a look of surprise, though she kept it hidden well enough. Outside of his family and close friends, like her and Soos, Dipper was always a fairly secretive, cards close to the chest kind of guy. "He sure is opening up to this weird, so called princess really quickly." she wondered to herself.

Ford seemed similarly concerned about Dipper's openness, but before he could interject Star spoke up again, a notably troubled look getting on her usually cheerful face, which the boy from Earth seemed to mirror unconsciously. "This Bill Cipher sounds like a pretty bad guy." She said with dawning trepidation.

"More than you could ever imagine." Dipper responded, voice instantly cracking from the strain of memory, and audible pain leaking from every word.

Star seemed even more concerned after this response, and her big blue eyes shimmered with a sudden burst of pity and understanding for the boy. "Well, he certainly sounds like a threat, and the Kingdom of Mewni can ill afford more threats in this troubled time!" she responded, puffing herself up with a little pseudo-heroic sounding grandiose vocabulary. "As the Princess of Mewni, it is my duty to respond to such a threat, and since you three seem to be the experts, I formally invite you to the Royal Castle to further discuss this threat with her majesty the queen!" By now, the spiel had gotten over the top and a little mocking, as Star assumed an overly stiff heroic posture, complete with finger pointed to the sky.

Then, just as easily as she'd gotten serious, the princess of Mewni relaxed her body, slinking down and grabbing one of Dipper's arms with a wide smile. "C'mon, I'll show you all the way to the castle, but really, you can't miss it! It's just over this hill!" she announced, taking off at full speed and dragging Dipper behind her before he could even argue.

This of course, resulted in the other two humans taking off after them. "Hey, both of you get back here now! Dipper!" Pacifica yelled out, clearly flustered and running after them right away.

"Children, wait, don't run!" Grunkle Ford also yelled ahead, trying to keep up with the group.


Eventually, Star had come to a stop outside of a large city built around a towering castle, which caused all three humans to crane their necks to see the top of the skyline. After Pacifica and Ford caught up to the other two, along with a quick apology from Star and reassurances that he's fine from Dipper, the princess was leading the trio from Earth through the settlement at a much slower pace, giving them ample opportunity to take in how badly damaged it all was.

Blast craters seemed to dot the ground, and some of the buildings looked like they'd been partially devoured. Everyone they passed was some combination of dirty, nursing some kind of injury, or had a far away look in their eyes. Dipper and Pacifica looked at the town with a sort of hardened sympathy, not being shocked by the damage or the wounds due to their experiences rebuilding their own town in the aftermath of a supernatural attack, but could clearly relate to everyone they passed.

Ford, on the other hand, wore a curious expression. His face was blank, well developed jaw muscles locking squarely into place. From a distance or at casual glance, it could be seen as reacting to the destruction they walked through with a stiff, determined upper lip, or even a mild scowl to disapprove of such senseless destruction. Closer inspection, however, would reveal the expression was too neutral, devoid of any transmissible feelings or ideas, a deliberate mask. Over what, Ford wasn't saying for the moment.

If this unsettling display of emotional control bothered Star or was even noticed by her, she didn't let it show. Instead, she took them through the destroyed streets, explaining recent history. "We were attacked, an invasion masterminded by a regenerating monster named Toffee." she explained, giving the bare, relevant basics. Even for someone as outgoing as Star, she didn't want to go straight into her time in the Realm of Magic or her mother's painful past with these people she'd just met. "Using stolen magic and an army or rats, he broke through our walls and briefly enslaved the citizens of Mewni, but we managed to take him out in the end." Then, she stopped in her tracks and turned back towards the three humans. "Do you think your Bill Cipher had anything to do with this?" she asked, concern in her voice.

Ford came to a stop, and seemed to genuinely ponder the question for a moment before speaking carefully. "I wouldn't rule it out as impossible, but I don't think so." He concluded. "He is skilled at controlling events from the shadows, but with as far as this invasion seems to have gotten, he wouldn't have been able to resist pulling back the curtain and basking in his triumph. He's an incurable egotist with an overwhelming need to experience his victories in the flesh and furthermore traditional military invasion isn't really his style."

The Princess of Mewni seemed reassured by this explanation, but kept something of a troubled look on her face as she lead her guests into the castle proper. As the group of four moved through the ornate halls, Pacifica made an effort to get to the ahead of the group, next to Star. "So, Princess Butterfly..." she asked in a hushed tone of voice.

"Oh, you can call me Star." The second blond responded with a chirpy tone, at normal volume.

"...Uh, right, thank you." Pacifica replied, resigning herself to a normal voiced conversation instead of a discreet inquiry. "Is your mother, Queen Butterfly...? Is she, uh, like you, I mean? All easygoing and stuff?"

The question took a moment to dawn on Star, and when it did, she quickly shook her head back and forth. "Ohhhhh... Oh, no. No no no no no noooooo..." Was her response. With a bit of a complex grimace, Star elaborated back that "Look, don't take this wrong, mom isn't bad or anything, but she's very... uptight. It's always rules and traditions and proper behavior with her." Then, with a mischievous look on her face, Star looked back at the other two humans then winked at Pacifica. "Don't worry though, I'll cover for you guys if you offend her delicate sensibilities." she added, like she was daring them to need her assistance.

"Right then, much appreciated prin... Star." Pacifica thanked their guide before falling back towards Dipper and Ford, whispering "Okay boys, let me do the talking when we meet this Queen, okay?" at them both, resulting in the two nodding affirmative.

"You're all very lucky actually, I should be able to get you a meeting in her private office instead of having to stand around in open court and talk to her while she's on her throne." Star elaborated from the head of the group. "And look, here it is!" she made a wide, sweeping gesture against a high quality but plainly furnished wooden door, sitting unassuming against another stretch of castle wall. Without hesitating, Star hammered the door with a strong, sustained and mildly tuneful knock. As soon as she stopped rapping her fist against the wooden surface, a voice emerged from the room, a faint glaze of frost against the tones of an older woman, mildly weary.

"Come in Star."

Looking back at her new friends with a narrow eyed expression, one hand pointing a thumb at the door and the other held up to the side of her mouth, to shield the words from traveling into the office, Star mentioned "She can somehow always tell when it's me." in a mystified tone. Then, the princess opened the door and let the three humans in, ushering them before the Queen.

Queen Moon the Undaunted sat at her ornate but practical wooden desk, numerous small piles of paperwork scattered about and an ink dripping pen in hand. She had her hair done up in its usual large formation and was dressed in her typical soft blue dress, complete with long gloves and makeup. She smiled softly as Star stepped in the room, but that turned to a tight frown as she lead three others in. "Ah, Star. I see you've brought friends." she said a with a small note of annoyance.

"Okay, mom, you're not gonna believe this!" Star said energetically, leveling both hands flat at her mother, palms facing each other as if she was about to lay out the secrets of the universe in the format of freestyle beat-boxing. "These three..." she continued, while gesturing to the group: Pacifica looked embarrassed to be in front of royalty like this, Stanford was hastily scanning his own memories, blind to the scowling he was unconsciously doing, while Dipper was rooted in place, nervously waving to the older woman. "...ARE FROM EARTH!" Star finished with a flurry of expression, waving her arms over her head while she leaned over the desk. "ISN'T THAT GREAT!?"

Queen Moon, annoyed expression gone, looking mostly sardonic but a little sympathetic to her daughter, slowly removed her reading glasses with a deliberate gesture while looking at the princess with skeptical eyes. "Star..." The mother said softly but firmly. This was the most energetic she'd seen her daughter since that other boy from Earth had left in the aftermath of the great battle. Casting her eyes over Dipper, Moon noted that despite being much more pale than her daughter's guide, he had the same nervous but observant posture as him. In the back of her mind, Moon was really hoping Star hadn't kidnapped these people.

"But, wait, wait wait wait wait there's more!" Star continued, waving her hands in front of her in a gesture asking for more time. Then, she jumped in front of the line of three humans, striking an action pose and doing the sword hand dance she'd picked up on Earth for emphasis. "They're here on a secret mission, tracking down an inter-dimensional criminal who attacked their world, and now wanders free across Mewni!" Then, Star straightened up, looked at her mother with a more serious expression, and finished by asking "So... can we have them stay here at the castle? I figured it'd be pretty bad for Mewni if some crazy villain is running around with everything else going on, so them catching him can only be good for Mewni, right?"

The Queen was quiet for almost a minute, taking everything in, while Dipper and Ford looked steadily more nervous, Pacifica kept a steady expression, and Star bounced in place on her heels. The situation had turned out more complex than Moon had assumed when her daughter had led three strangely dressed weirdos into her private office, and now she needed to make a legitimate decision. Could these three be trusted?

"Well Star, I'm glad you've brought this matter to my attention, but now I'd like to hear from your new friends." She finally spoke up in a measured tone, before turning her attention to the humans and nodding at them. "So, you three, please, explain this in your own words. You may speak freely."

Right on cue, Pacifica took a step forward and gave the Queen a small curtsy, nothing too elaborate, but enough to get across the idea the gesture was an act of respect, even if the exacts of it didn't cross the cultural barrier. "Your majesty..." She began, with a steady, formal cadence to her voice. "...Thank you for indulging us with this audience. Princess Butterfly summarized our reasons for being here with excellence. I have little else to add besides a personal plea that you understand how dangerous our quarry is: His name is Bill Cipher, and I assure you, he is a grave threat to your world of Mewni and all others."

Moon found herself leaning back in her chair slightly. She was actually quite pleased by this young lady's obviously well practiced air of respectful delivery, though she didn't express this in any way, and for the first time noted the physical resemblance between this human and her own daughter. Idly scratching some notes on a blank piece of paper to her side (reading out Consult MHC: Bill Cipher?) Moon responded by saying "Well, if this... Bill Cipher is a grave a threat as you say, it would certainly be within the best interests of Mewni for him to be captured. That is, however, a sizable if." Suddenly, her gaze was more inquisitive, seeming to peer into the girl in front of her. "Will you do us the honor of properly introducing yourselves?" Star opened her mouth to explain who they were, but Moon held up a hand to quiet her. "I'd like to hear it in their own words, Star. Go ahead."

With a nod of her head, Pacifica began by gesturing sideways to Ford. "This is Doctor Stanford Pines, archmage of the planet earth." she explained, which generated a small look of flattered surprise from the older man, who had previously been peering right back into Moon's eyes, as if to discern their intent. The blond then pointed to the other boy in the room. "This is Dipper Pines, apprentice wizard and great nephew to Stanford, while my name is Pacifica Northwest, a fellow student of Doctor Pines' great magic."

The expression of the Queen of Mewni quickly but subtly slipped to skeptical. "I had been informed, by some very good sources I might add, that the Earth dimension does not possess any magic of its own."

"The magic of Earth is a recent, and highly localized, occurrence, but I assure you it is real." Pacifica replied without skipping a beat, feeling herself drawn into the familiar dance of combat by words. She was already calculating what possible responses the Queen might have for her reply, then working out what to say in response to them, letting the flow of the conversation stay in her favor by virtue of quick, effortless responses.

"I see." Moon said in a dismissive tone, though inside her head she was making an important mental note of another matter to discuss with the Magical High Commission during the meeting she now knew she'd be scheduling with them as soon as this group left her office. "Tell me, in a hypothetical scenario where I allowed you three free reign to pursue this, Bill Cipher, what precisely would you be... doing? You must understand, Mewni is fragile at the moment, and even though I have no doubt of your good intentions, recklessness could destabilize things as surely as malicious intent."

"Of course your highness, we understand your concerns perfectly. We have no desire to harm your kingdom in any way." Pacifica responded. "As for our methods, I'll allow Doctor Pines to explain that, seeing as he is the most learned among us."

There, a verbal blow thrown. Subtle and ambiguously worded, on purpose, enough to go over the heads of everyone else in the room, but Pacifica could see in Moon's eyes that she had understood. The girl from Earth had challenged her, stating that a representative of her group was the most intelligent person in the room, but if called upon this could claim she meant no offense, stating she meant that Ford is the most learned among the group from Earth, and of course, such a verbal offensive would make the Queen appear insecure and over-aggressive, pursuing offense where none was meant. This, however, would allow the implication to stand, giving Ford significant clout in the conversation, provided he didn't make a wild fool of himself next time he opened his mouth.

"Whoever this girl is, she is well versed in the battle of words that calls itself courtly politics." Moon thought to herself. "Threats, bargains, battles for superiority and the ebb and tide of public opinion, all dressed in idle gossip and elaborate complements." Not looking to fall into contemplation, Moon nodded to Ford. "Go ahead archmage, I would hear of your methods from the mouth of wisdom."

Ford, who along with Dipper and Star hadn't picked up on the subtle nuances of the conversation before them, cleared his throat before starting on an explanation. "Bill Cipher is dangerous primarily because he is an expert manipulator with long range psychic abilities. He looks for people who are desperate, lost, in need of some aid or those who are simply hungry for power, then contacts them through their dreams to offer them what they want, and if I may be blunt, the destroyed city just outside these walls is a perfect environment for him to thrive in."

After that, the scientist reached into his pocket and pulled out a small object, a circle of bone hanging from a string with spider webs interlocking all over the space inside the circle, and on the bottom was a string of beads hanging long off the object, that ended in a small kitchen sponge. "This is a dream interceptor of my own design, and I have many more. With your permission, I would place these at strategic points along the city. They're been specially inscribed to capture Bill Cipher's psychic waves..." he explained, pointing to a series of symbols carved into the outer loop of the ring, which form the legendary Cipher Ring of symbols when the circle closes. "And when the morning condensation is squeezed out of the sponge on the bottom after a night hanging out, I can analyze the liquid to see if Bill Cipher is communicating with anyone in the city."

"Might I take that from you?" Queen Moon asked abruptly, which seemed to startle Ford out of his lecture. "I would like to have it examined by my magic experts, in the name of...smoother cooperation between our two peoples." The scientist from Earth blinked a few times, but then wordlessly handed over the object, knowing he had more. "Thank you." Moon responded curtly while putting it in a desk drawer.

"Honestly, I'd advise you to keep it. Hang it over your head while you sleep to shield yourself from Bill's influence." Ford cautioned. Then, after a moment of trying to place himself again, continued his explanation. "Besides those, I also have other magical means of honing in on Bill's presence, as well as examining people that he may be... communicating with, for tell tale signs, once we've narrowed the list of suspects down. It would also be a great help if you could alert us to any strange happenings in your kingdom."

Queen Moon crumpled her eyebrows in contemplation. Even through her gloves and scarred hands, she could feel a spell lattice working around the object she'd taken from the man. Further analysis would be needed to determine the object's true abilities, but it was genuinely magical, meaning that whoever these people are, they're a cut above common con artists. "Which risk to take Moon, the risk of this Bill Cipher being a genuine threat, or the risk that these three are not what they seem?" She contemplated, turning an eye to her daughter.

"She seems to trust them... Not that that exactly means a great deal..." She thought, but quickly chastised herself. "Now Moon, you promised you'd try to be more understanding of Star. Perhaps this would make a good chance for her to gain some leadership experience... At the very least, it might take her mind off that Earth boy..."

"Very well." Moon pronounced, betraying none of her eternal conflict to the group in front of her. "As Queen of Mewni, I hereby grant you, Stanford Pines, Dipper Pines, and Pacifica Northwest of Earth, permission to move about the public areas of the Mewman Royal Castle and Mewni in general, to the ends of protecting Mewni from the menace known as Bill Cipher. For the duration of this criminal pursuit, you will report directly to Princess Star and conform to any instructions she gives you. Are we clear?"

All three humans nodded in affirmation, and watched as Queen Moon moved to face her daughter, looking Star in the eyes with a serious, but encouraging look. "That means, Princess Star, that these three humans are your responsibility while they are on Mewni." She explained. "Keep me up to date, and I will in turn send any relevant information I receive regarding this matter to you." Then, she cracked an eyebrow at Star and added "Are we clear?" with a hint of dry sarcasm to her voice.

"Oh absolutely mom! Thank you sooooo much, I promise I won't let you down!" Star replied jubilantly, having slowly gotten on edge as the conversation had gone on, worried her new friends were going to be ejected. In a rush, she got behind all three of the humans and began pushing them towards the door, surprising the whole group. "Come on, I'll show you guys where you'll be staying, you'll get the..."

"I will provide a specific set of quarters for our guests, Star." Queen Moon spoke up assertively. "Have them wait outside for a moment while I summon a butler to lead the way. We still have a few more things to discuss."


Not long after, a sizable group of footsteps approached the door to a dark room. Muffled conversation was on the other side, and after a moment the wooden door to the new room was kicked open. "And here we are! Casa de Mewni!" Star explained, leading them inside the somewhat barren chamber. "Thank you Jeevann, you can go now!" she dismissed with a polite smile, and the butler who had lead them all here politely bowed then skittered off. After waiting a few seconds for him to get far enough away, Star let out a loud, annoyed groan and collapsed to the floor. "Ugh, sorry about having to chat your ears off with boring castle trivia back there, I'm sure if I'd said anything interesting Jeevann's has instructions to take it right back to mom!"

The humans were already able to take Star's antics in stride, simply spreading out to observe their new base of operations: It appeared to be a disused barracks for soldiers, being large enough for several simple military cots, but extremely barren in furnishing, dusty, and the sole window was small and barred over, making the room dim to see in.

"Well, it's not the Chillton Presidential Suite, but I suppose I've stayed in worse." Pacifica remarked sarcastically, until she tried to blow away a dust bunny underneath one of the cots, only to reveal it was actually a colony of spiders living around a rat skeleton. "Never mind, I take it back. This is probably the worst place I've ever stayed."

"Oh, I dunno about that Pacifica." Dipper teased back in a good natured tone. "I mean you've stayed in the Mystery Shack, haven't you?"

"Fair point."

"Ugh, I can't believe mom would try and load you guys off on such an out of the way dump like this!" Star groaned while climbing off the floor, but then, she got a clever look on her face. "Luckily, being friends with the princess comes with some benefits." In a flash, she was holding her wand over her head. "MYSTIC ROOM GLITTER BOMB TRANSFORM!"

The whole space was abruptly consumed by a bright pink light, blinding everyone present. The glow receded quickly however, leaving behind a completely transformed living space. Unfortunately, the three humans it was meant for were a little slow to notice the transformation.

"AH GOD, FLASHBANG!" Dipper screamed from his position curled up on the floor. Ford had found his attention jumping straight to Star's wand as soon as it came out, and as a result his eyes had shrunk to pinpricks due to taking the full blast and was currently completely witless. Pacifica, meanwhile, had been standing right where a luxurious four post bed had come into existence, and found herself struggling against a clutter of sheets and blankets. "HELP! I FUSED WITH THE BED LIKE THAT HAMSTER WE TELEPORTED ONE TIME!" she screamed, but after a moment simply worked herself out of the ball of blankets and realized she was completely normal "Oh."

Star, on the other hand, was looking around the room with breathless excitement and massive, sparkling eyes while the three humans regained their senses. She got up, running around and touching the luxurious decorations that covered the room to feel if they were real and make sure they weren't going to catch fire as soon as they were touched. "YES! I AVOIDED THE SUCK THIS TIME!"

That non-sequitur managed to catch the attention of everyone in the room, but before they could respond to it with several questions, the radical transformation their space had undergone finally set in with them. Besides a general massive increase in opulence and comfort, the military rows of cots had been replaced with three distinct bed spaces: The four poster Pacifica had found herself in was deep purple, and the fine wooden posts in question had a canopy stretching over them that also boasted a retractable curtain that could be drawn shut over the entire setup.

Dipper, having quickly rubbed the glitter out of his eyes thanks to prior experience, was extensively examining the third of the room that had formed around him. This section had a more normal but still extremely large and comfortable flat top bed with a sizable headboard backed up against a much wider stained glass window, through which you could look out and view the beautiful Mewman countryside for miles, while also providing much more light to the room. In addition, the room now boasted a pair of large, sturdy storage chests and a dresser positioned behind an extensive, well shaded privacy divider. Out of curiosity, Dipper flopped onto the bed, and ended up sinking several inches. "I've never been this comfortable before in my life." he said breathlessly.

Grunkle Ford, meanwhile, was standing under a unique construction of a bed: It was elevated on four legs, like a bunk bed, but instead of a lower bunk was a well furnished oak desk, with a comfortable velvet chair behind it, and a number of smaller tables, filling cabinets and chests surrounding it and the rest of the room. Looking up, Ford noticed a chain light-bulb was attached directly to the bottom of the bedframe. Upon pulling it, the whole work space became comfortably lit, despite the light having no power source.

Filling out the room was a grand table, covering the space where the distinctly themed spaces meet together. Besides being wide enough to sit at least six people for a common meal, it currently had an exhaustive and comprehensive map of the Mewman dimension rolled out over it, which glittered and shimmered as if it was updating in real life.

"So, what do you guys think?"

The humans all turned their heads to look at Star Butterfly, who was looking rather proud of herself for how tremendously successful her spell had been.

"It's much better than when we started, that is for sure." Pacifica was the first to respond, and was speaking with genuine sincerity. "Thank you, Star."

"Awwww, it's not problem Paz-Paz, what are friends for!?" Star responded, before stepping forward and giving the girl from Earth a hug, completely baffling Pacifica as she stuttered from raw surprise.

"Okay, first, don't call me that." The human girl laid down as she pulled away from the mewman princess. "Secondly, if you're going to hug me again, notify me in advance first and we'll see if I approve of it."

"Um, I do agree with Pacifica's first statement though, this is really nice. Thanks Star." Dipper added in, causing the princess to grin.

"You are both very welcome, my newfound subjects!" Star replied, but giggled a little to indicate she was just teasing them. Then, while still in a good mood and quite jubilant, she got a little more serious. "So, what's our plan of action? How do we begin the hunt for Bill Cipher?"

At this point, Ford left the window he'd been staring out of, watching the sunset, to enter the conversation. "Unfortunately, it will have to begin tomorrow morning. We have some equipment that needs unpacking and activating, at which point it will be dark and we'll be do for a rest." he explained, before adding on "If, her majesty finds that acceptable, of course." in a wary tone.

Star just giggled at his sudden formality though. "Hey, don't worry old-timer, you can just call me Star, just like I've told these two!" After that, she calmed down a little. "But no, that makes total sense. I can have dinner brought up to you guys if you want it, and then we can discuss our game plan tomorrow over breakfast in the royal dinning room!"

"That sounds ideal actually." Dipper replied, already elbow deep in his backpack and pulling out the components for a psychic feedback generator.

"Alright, everything's perfect then!" Star exclaimed, before standing in place for a moment, not sure where else to take the conversation. Feeling her time might be up, she added "Well, I guess that's goodnight then?"

"Seems like it." Pacifica responded, offering Star a friendly wave goodbye. "Sleep well Star."

Then, as soon as the mewman princess was out of the room, Grunkle Ford collapsed onto one of the chairs scattered around the room, head on his forehead in turbulent thought. "Great Uncle Ford, are you okay?" Dipper asked on reflex, though he didn't step forward, recognizing his mentor was experiencing more of a "need to brood" exhaustion rather than physical exhaustion derived from an injury.

"No Dipper, I'm fine, thank you." He replied, clearly troubled. After an exhale, he looked over at the two. "What kind of impression did you two get from Princess Butterfly?" he asked, in a tone that Dipper knew indicated more than idle curiosity.

"Well, uh... she seems nice." Dipper responded, rubbing his arm with some visible nervousness. "She got us inside the castle and a pretty nice base of operations, so I think she'll probably be an asset to the investigation?"

Ford gave Dipper a curt nod in response, then gestured to Pacifica. "She's a rebel princess. Seen it a dozen times, and was personally put through a lot to make sure I don't turn out that way." She summarized curtly. When it was clear the other two didn't quite get what she had meant, Pacifica elaborated. "Basically, she was born to a very high position of wealth and status, but on some level resents or dislikes like it. Too many rules, expectations are high, parents want them to make money instead of spending it on cars and fanart commissions. Still, Star is on better terms with her mom than most of the people I'd seen who fit this category, so either she's not as rebellious as she thinks she is or Queen Butterfly is more accepting of her rebellious daughter than most rich parents are."

Ford nodded curtly again, though this time he added "That was very insightful Pacifica, thank you." After a moment of longer thought that seemed to put some weight on his shoulders, the old scientist began speaking, in a grim tone this time. "Children, I am not saying we should reject the help the Mewmans offers us, it could be vital in our fight against Bill. Nor should we rebuke the friendship offered by Princess Star, she seems genuine enough. But, as long as we are here, we must tread carefully around these people."

Dipper was frowning with concern now, looking at his great uncle with a confused expression. "Great Uncle Ford, you sound like... well, you've been here before."

"That's because I have Dipper." He answered, a dark look settling into his eyes. "During my time lost to my original model portal, I... arrived, in this dimension, during a different battle against Bill, my original fight against him..." Ford explained, and settled in to tell his story...

"Bill was seeking to acquire the means of personal dimensional travel, a strange power I don't totally understand that would allow him to slice holes between dimensions, through which the horrors of the Nightmare Plane could leak, and scuttle. To that end, he had challenged the High Wizard of Clam Castle within the Astral Sea to a game of skull dice and won the man's soul."

A castle rose above an inferno filled battlefield, and on the outside walls a cheery looking humanoid with a scale covered body, small fins around his body and with bulging, lidless eyes walked vertically with a jaunt to his steps. The whole way up, the meat puppet sniffed the air like a dog looking for a well hidden piece of wet, delicious meat, and eventually, halfway between land and burning sky, they found it. A spell was cast that turned the wizard's body to a perfectly thin goo that slipped between the stone and reformed on the other side, deftly evading the invisible magic wards at their weakest point.

"The master of portals, a mysterious figure know across the multiverse but rarely seen, had protected their castle well: Besides being inside an inhospitable wasteland, the castle was covered with every magical defense and ward possible and a few that were impossible, even by the rules of magic. In addition to all that, the dimension operated on an odd style of time acceleration, meaning that even those who escaped were often disorientated and lost in time. Bill had chosen his timing and his host well however, as the High Wizard's magic powers and Bill's own knowledge let them meticulously disassemble every trap and defense in the way, all without catching the master of the castle's attention."

The possessed fish-man stood at the end of a long hallway, which was covered in broken runes, sparking clouds of disassembled magic, guardian monsters trapped in force cages or reduced to piles of ash, and dozens of purely mechanical traps carefully disassembled. Bill and his host were standing before a massive metal door, fiddling with the combination lock, an eager look splitting the wizard's face into an unnatural look of joy.

"Of course, a visit to the Oracle of Pearls let me know about all this well in advance, so I waited until he'd disabled all the defenses, then got the drop on him. I had three flame resistance rings, a leaf-string bag of C4, boots of spider climb, a blessing to ward me against the time distortion of the dimension from a renegade Chrono Count who wore a carrot on his jacket, and most importantly, a very, very big gun."

The wall at the end of the long hallway exploded, shockwave flattening Bill's host against the security door while a much younger Ford stepped through the gap literally guns blazing, holding a chainsaw grip automatic weapon with four rotating barrels and a hefty backpack that fed it ammo, fingers practically glued to the trigger to try and wash Bill down with a torrent of automatic fire, the bright trail of bullets tearing apart ornate castle decorations and unveiled mechanical traps like a swarm of omnivorous, invisible rats with a fast forward button pressed. Several small fires ignited as inert patches of magic were ignited by the ripping stream.

"Of course, the ogre strength gauntlets it took to even lift the thing and the backpack of bottomless ammo that let it fire for longer than five seconds cost a fortune put together, but I had just cut ties with a mega seed smuggling operation and needed to get rid of the dirty money anyways."

Bill's host had almost been cut to pieces by the time he managed to throw up a shield of crystal off which the hail of bullets deflected, prism beams of light erupting from the barricade every time a bullet snapped a fragment off, and the magical defense was shot hundreds of times as Ford held down the trigger, glaring and screaming the entire time. Eventually though, the scientist had to stop firing due to the ricochets getting dangerously close to him. With a scowl and a smoking set of barrels, he began stepping down the hall.

Bill and his body, despite being laid out against the security door with several large holes leaking green blood all over the fancy carpet and cold metal, was laughing his head off at the scene before him, as he quickly cast the liquid body spell again to slip through the holes Ford ended up shooting into the security doors with his magically boosted ammunition. On the other side, Bill found himself inside a medieval looking forge, and quickly dragged himself across the floor towards an unassuming pair scissors left to cool on a counter.

The battered security door could not resist Ford for long, and before it had even swung open all the way he was hosing down Bill's host with another barrage of fire. The barely alive puppet of a wizard had the heated scissors wrapped in one melting hand held close to the chest, and as a result Ford, who was attacking from behind, never even saw the scissors, even as a handful of the dozens of bullets that ripped the fish form apart penetrated through and impacted the slick metal of the dimensional travel device, resulting in it cracking, shattering and exploding.

Flying shrapnel fragments cut a dozen hungry dimensional rifts all over the room: Ford, at the edge of the forging chamber, was simply sucked into the furthest one, while Bill's host was ripped to pieces in a single, terrible moment by the conflicting pull of several portals upon him at the center of the explosion, completely destroying the host body, sending Bill back to the dimension of dreams nursing a newfound appreciation for absolute agony, and leaving quite a mess on the floor.

"Though I ultimately defeated that body of his and prevented him from acquiring the dimension cutter magic, a mishap during the battle resulted in me being thrown through an entirely different section of the multiverse. This dimension, Mewni."

The portal unceremoniously dropped Ford into wide, slow flowing river. It wasn't a particularly dangerous body of water, and the lost human could have easily escaped it under normal circumstances, but Ford, fatigued, suffering from portal sickness, and weighed down by an enormous gun and matching ammo pack, had been seriously threatened by this unassuming, lazy river. He struggled underwater to cut loose the ammo backpack that was holding him under the water after immediately letting go of the gun, but had blacked out from lack of oxygen before that could be done, leaving him at the mercy of the depths.

"Luckily, I happened to float towards friendly company."

When Ford next returned to consciousness, he was resting inside a plain but fairly comfortable straw bed, inside what looked to be a simple farmhouse. A humanoid being was looking over him, male looking, very tall and thin, with green skin and the anatomical features of a frog. "So, da Mewman awakes." he had said, with a tone of relief and fear. Bizarrely, he sounded almost Russian, despite this being a completely different world.

"Stanford, actually." He had responded, still a little dazed from his near drowning. "I presume I have you to thank for saving me from a watery death...? Thank you."

"He said his name was Vladistave Bulgoyaboff, and soon after introduced his wife Brildostogvan. They had tadpoles on the way, he explained much later after earning my trust, and had spotted me floating by when the couple had gone to check on the mud bank where the eggs were hidden. While I resembled their ancestral enemies, they ultimately decided they couldn't just watch someone drown, and fished me out. I was quick to explain I had no involvement in their ethnic conflict and was intensely grateful to them for saving me. I'm not sure they ever believed I wasn't a Mewman, but I did eventually earn their trust. I had to live at their home for awhile, as I was lost again between dimensions without the small amount of resources I had gathered."

Numerous memories ran over Ford as he reminisced on his time with the Bulgoyaboffs: They had been very kind to the strange man from the river, freely offering him food and shelter while he replenished his strength and got over an illness he'd picked up while drowning, and even continued to house him while he was perfectly fit and looking for a way out of this dimension instead of kicking him out towards Mewman territory. In return, Ford had done everything he could to help the family: He performed repairs around the house, helped them construct a nursery for the eventual hatching of the children, improved their farm tools and taught them a great deal about crop rotation and chemical fertilizer after analyzing the soil a little.

The last two proved to be unexpected boons: These monsters and their neighbors were substance farmers pushed onto the edges of civilization. Despite the river nearby, which they frequently fished to supplement their food, the land was barren and nutrient poor, and the monster owned farms further from the river were even worse. Eventually, Ford's improvements proved to be a success, and the Bulgoyaboff's introduced him to their friends and neighbors, who were all won over and impressed by the strangely helpful Mewman whose secrets made their farms prosper. These memories, while initially good, soon overwhelmed present day Ford with guilt.

"That... proved to be their undoing. Word must have gotten around that this patch of monster land was more fertile than initially believed, because the Mewman army was soon on the march. They came over the hills, clad in shinning armor and practically glimmering with the magic boost provided by the Queen. It... Gods of Ragnarok, it was no battle, kids, it was a slaughter, an extermination! The Circktors, Goathelm, Old Durney Farm, the Bulgoyaboffs... all of them were put to the sword. I... was never found out if they located the eggs or not but they... they didn't spare any of the other children."

"And me? They let me go. Made the same mistake the Bulgoyaboffs initially did and thought I was a Mewman. Much back slapping was had about successfully rescuing a kidnapped Mewman from torture or ransom at the claws of the dastardly remnants of the great monster army. The blood hadn't even dried on their godforsaken shinning armor."

Back in the present day, Ford went quiet for a long moment after finishing his story, sinking into his chair like the physical weight of all those years was crushing him. "Of course, that mistake made it pretty easy for me to poison the whole bunch of them when they decided to celebrate their child killing with some drunken revelry." He spat, bitterness and a complete lack of satisfaction to his tone. With a distracted, airy tone of voice, he added that "Eventually, I managed to hitch a ride out of this cesspool of a dimension, but that's a different story. I spent about six more months here, give or take, until that happened, and in my time prowling around this world I saw nothing redeeming about it or its ruling people."

"You remember the wand Star had, that let her generate this comfortable room for us?" He asked, and both teenagers nodded in response. "I heard a great deal about that during my time in this dimension, and when I studied abroad in others, and I can safely say that it is one of the most powerful objects in existence. A raw wellspring of pure magical power that can rewrite reality on an unimaginable scale, and it might have more blood on it than any other singular weapon I have ever encountered."

After a grim silence filled the room for a short moment, Ford eventually regained his strength and pulled himself from his chair, looking at his two fellow humans with a strong, resentful glare, though the feelings were not directed at them. "That is why we should not place too much trust in any of these Mewmans, particularly not their royalty: They are murderous barbarians who chanced upon some of the most amazing magic in all dimensions and have resolved to use it to conduct an ethnic cleansing, and have done so for hundreds of years. I suspect Bill is probably hidden among them somewhere."

Dipper and Pacifica, both chilled to the core, set to work unpacking after that, tumultuous thoughts thoughts running through their heads for the remainder of the night.


Breakfast next morning was "a simple affair" according to Star, despite the fact that it consisted of multiable plates of fresh fruit and juicy meat for all parties. It proved to be a work breakfast, with the four participants largely talking about their plans to cover the city with the Bill warding dream interceptors, and they were on the verge of finishing up and leaving when the royal couple made their entrance, generating a small groan of disappointment from Star.

"Ah, these must be the magicians from Earth Moonpie was telling me about." King River stated in a measured tone while looking them over, not expressing any particular impression of them. "I am happy to make your acquaintance, and was wondering if you might assist me with something. It might even be a clue you're looking for."

"Daaaaaad!" Star groaned out, obviously embarrassed that he'd decided to give them the suspicious treatment. "We gotta get going dad, the whole city needs to be covered in these cool Bill catching things!" she added, while holding up one of the dream interceptors.

"Now Star, yesterday the... archmage, asked Moon to pass along information about any strange happenings. Well, we've got one for you." River continued to explained while Moon had simply taken her place at the head of the table and was watching the whole thing play out with an analytical eye. Dipper and Ford perked up at the mention of a strange happening, while Pacifica was paying closer attention to the two Butterfly women in the room, trying to scope out more of their personalities.

"A few days ago, one of our knight patrols was lost in the field, and later found dead." King Butterfly explained with a curt, grim tone. Star became a little more reserved at the mention of such a ghastly affair. "What's troubling about this is that they seem to have been killed by magic, but no magic we've been able to identify. To both investigate the possibility this is related to your interdimensional criminal and as a small service to repay the Kingdom of Mewni for hosting you, the Queen and I agreed to allow Archmage Pines..." River trailed off as he examined the rest of the party, before his eyes settled on Dipper. "...and his student Dipper to examine these bodies and report their conclusions." Then, he looked at his daughter, adding on that "Don't worry though sweetie, you can take your remaining friend out to the city as planned!"

Star looked like she was ready to argue, but Dipper took one good look at his Grunkle and made a gesture to the princess. "It's alright Star, this could be just what we're looking for potentially. I don't mind." He then turned so he was talking to her and Pacifica. "I'm completely confident the two of you can accomplish this part of the mission without me and Ford to slow you down."

Star looked unexpectedly taken by Dipper's faith in her, while Pacifica just crossed her arms and glared at him. "Dipper, have you forgotten how my last attempt at babysitting went?" she asked in a biting tone, while looking sideways at the princess.

Dipper just smiled in response to this, saying "C'mon Paz, think of it as a learning experience. If me and Ford get done early, we'll meet at the cornshake place Star was telling us about."

"Then we are in agreement!" River abruptly cut in. "Star, I'm sure you don't need any instruction to show our visitor from Earth around the capital. Ford and Dipper on the other hand, we have a pair of guards waiting outside to escort you when you are both ready."

"We can go right now." Ford spoke up. "I think I've lost my appetite."


Star and Pacifica were long gone into the city by the time Ford and Dipper had been lead through the Bureaucracy of Magic and put into a cold storage locker kept sealed with one large metal door by a strangely nonthreatening security guard who seemed to be a talking moose of some kind. "I'll be outside if you guys need anything."

With him gone, Dipper and Ford looked at each other, trading a nod of determination, before approaching the object of their investigations: Five Mewman bodies laid out on cold slabs, all of them quite muscular and physically fit. The corpses had obviously received a cursory examination, as whatever battle armor they'd gone out with had been cut away, but they were not anatomically posed correctly.

Dipper set down the backpack of supplies they'd retrieved from their quarters on the way here, carefully and meticulously removing the dissection supplies while Ford walks over to the bodies while snapping on a pair of gloves. "So, if Bill did kill these people, what do you think we're dealing with?" The boy asked in a curious tone. "Psychic shutdown, direct telekinetic laceration of the heart, blood bending, or something more exotic such as..."

"Magic didn't kill these people Dipper." Ford spoke up abruptly, seeming somewhat surprised. He was leaning over the body in the middle, taking a close examination of the chest, which a pattern of holes drilled into the muscular abdomen. Acting quickly, Ford fished a pair of ordinary needle nose pliers out of a coat pocket and jammed them into the small wound, wiggling them around enough to disrupt the slowly decaying flesh.

His apprentice simply walked over with curiosity, taking a spot on the other side of the slab to see what he great uncle pulled out. He had very evidently caught something with the pliers, and when it finally came free, Dipper let out a surprised gasp, while Ford's eyes simply narrowed. Held tight between the tips of the pliers was a dented, bent piece of metal, with some very familiar signs of craftsmanship upon it.

"Like I said Dipper, these knights weren't killed by magic at all. They were killed by plain and simple bullets. Bullets from Earth."

AUTHORS NOTES

Right, so here we go. The continuation of the story started in "Three Can Keep A Secret," now a crossover with Star Vs. Early parts of "Three Can Keep A Secret" were being written while Season 3 of Star Vs. was happening, and that crossed with the increasingly strong fan theory that they happen in the same multiverse eventually motivated me to take things in this direction. Rest assured I am not leaving behind the characters on Earth, but a lot of the plot here is going to focus on a rewritten version of season 3 where Bill Cipher is stirring up trouble in the background.

I hope that everyone who picked up this story as a Gravity Falls fanfic will continue to enjoy the story, while for all the Star Vs. fans discovering it for the first time, welcome! I'm interested to hear what both groups of fans think of this work. There is a purely Gravity Falls fanfiction called "Three Can Keep A Secret" that this is a continuation of, but the short of it is that Dipper accepted Grunkle Ford's offer to be his apprentice, and three years later they, joined by Pacifica Northwest, hunt a revived Bill Cipher across the multiverse.

Again, I hope that both followers of my original story and people first discovering my writing here can enjoy it, and I welcome feedback from all of my readers!