Warning: This story begins with a character death, one that will be felt through the rest of the story as those left behind grieve it. There will be discussions of mental illness. I don't want to give too much away, so if you want to know more before you start, PM me and I can give you more information to inform your decision. I'm aware this story won't be for everyone. Thanks for the support, as always.

The banner for this story was made by LunaEclipse, and my team on this fic is Mizzdee, LaMomo, and DICATAKADD. Love you ladies.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A House is Not a Home

Prologue

To the world I put on the façade of Chief Cullen, the career-oriented cop whose only blemish on an otherwise perfect life was the divorce from his high school sweetheart. But even there, Bella and I co-existed pretty well for the sake of our nine year-old daughter, Vanessa. Not one of them knows just how much I felt like a failure.

We were happy once. In high school I was one of the big men on campus along with my older brother, Emmett, and my best friend, Jasper Hale. My twin sister, Alice, was dating Jasper, and his older sister, Rosalie, was dating Emmett. I wasn't interested in any of the girls in town until my junior year when Chief Swan's daughter moved from Phoenix. Bella's mother had been killed in a home invasion gone wrong while she was on an overnight school trip, so the Chief had gone down there to take care of everything for her and bring her to Forks, where our love story began.

Bella had come into town wounded and blaming herself for what had happened to her mother. But time helped her learn that there was no way she could have saved her mother, and she was able to slowly move on.

We started dating, and were soon inseparable. I was her first serious relationship, so there were a lot of other firsts that we enjoyed together. Everything had been on track until college time came around. I wanted to study Public Affairs at Seattle University, hoping to get into the Leadership degree program, while Bella wanted to study to become a pastry chef. There were plenty of places in the Seattle area that she could have studied, but they would have taken too long in her opinion. One of the best culinary schools in the nation, the Institute of Culinary Education in New York, offered an intensive program where she could learn the full curriculum in six months. When she was accepted into the program for the fall, she begged me to let her go.

In the end, it wasn't my decision, but she wanted to know that I was okay with it, that we would be okay if she went to New York to follow this dream.

After some long talks with my parents, and the Chief, who had taken me under his wing when I joined the cadet program at fifteen, I knew Bella was willing to support my choice to become a police officer, so I should support her as well. It wasn't easy, but I knew we'd survive the six month separation and she'd come home to me ready to fulfill her dreams.

But fate had other plans for us.

I was sitting in my dorm six weeks into my semester when Bella called me freaking out. Her period had been late so her classmate had brought her to the pharmacy to get a couple of home pregnancy tests. When those came up positive, she went to the local free clinic and had a blood test to confirm it.

I tried to calm her down, telling her we would find a way to make things work. She felt like her life was spinning out of control, so I did the only thing I could do, I flew out to see her that weekend. Once we were able to sit face to face and discuss it, she wasn't as scared anymore. Her degree from the Institute would be done at the end of February, and according to the clinic she had gone to, she was due in mid-May.

We called our parents while I was still in New York and told them our news. They weren't thrilled about the pregnancy while we were still trying to figure out our own lives, but they promised to support us however they could.

I finished the semester and at the end of February Bella came home from New York with the degree she'd wanted and a rounded belly. On May 18th 2011, Vanessa Renee Cullen was born, and everything was perfect. We were happy.

We stayed in Forks for the first half of the summer, but then my dad and Charlie went with us to find an apartment near the university. We settled on a two-bedroom place, mainly because my mom would be staying with us a few days a week to help with the baby. We were married August 13th, giving us enough time before my school resumed to wind down from the craziness of the wedding and the move.

For three years we worked tirelessly. Bella was a part time pastry chef at a hotel, working four days a week with a boss that understood her need to have a flexible schedule, and I earned my degree, giving me the knowledge I needed to get a job as a police officer.

By the end of those three years, we were both weary of living in Seattle and moved back to Forks. Bella worked at the diner baking everything they needed, while I was hired by my father-in-law to be one of his deputies. With the town only having five officers including the chief, I was lucky there was a spot for me.

Time went on and we found a life in Forks. Bella and I were spending so much time working and taking care of our daughter that we didn't realize we were growing apart.

It was a few months after Vanessa's sixth birthday that I found Bella sitting in our living room, a sad look on her face. It was that afternoon she told me how unhappy she was, and she wanted to separate. I begged her to give me a second chance, but she felt like too much time had passed while we tried to build our lives that we were more like roommates than husband and wife.

I couldn't deny her anything, even if it broke my heart, so I offered to move back home. She insisted I keep the house, since the chief had a room set up for Vanessa, and Bella's childhood bedroom was still untouched.

Time once again got away from us and soon we were signing our divorce papers, ending something I never thought would die. Not long after Bella moved in with her father, he had a heart attack, and my mentor and former father-in-law was taken from us.

I was there for Bella as much as I could be, and although we were no longer together, we got each other through that time and our friendship was only strengthened.

Now, two years later, Bella was moving on, dating Jacob Black and the proud owner of her own bakery and ice cream parlor, Bella's Sweet Shop.

In the time since Charlie had died, I'd been named Chief. My degree and willingness to deal with the bureaucracy along with the police work got me the position. I was happy professionally, but personally, I was lost.

My house, the house that Bella and I had bought, that Vanessa had grown up in, was empty. Their laughter was a memory I could barely recall. There was no place for me here anymore.

Bella,

I know when you hear about my choice, you'll be sad, and probably very angry with me. I want you to know that as much as I love the memories that were made here, living with only those memories is like being haunted by the ghosts of my past. I don't want you to blame yourself for the choices you made, none of us could have known that life would have led us here. This house is too quiet, which is why I can't bear to stay here anymore. Know that I'll always love you. You and Vanessa were the only things I got right, I just wish we could have survived.

Goodbye,

Edward