The Anatomy of Love
Written By: Banana007
Chapter 1: Crash Course
A/N: PLEASE READ!
1) This fic is a READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL fic… When a chapter has content that may be triggering, I will put an Author's Note beforehand with a "Trigger Warning!" but that will be the extent of it. But 98% of this story you won't need a Trigger Warning anyway.
2) Underage sex - Sakura starts off as 17 yrs old here while Kakashi is 31. Even though the age of consent varies by the American state, I'm going off by the general age of consent of 18 yrs old here. Even though she's only a few months from turning 18, the fact she's still 17 still makes it underage. If you don't like that, that is completely understandable and this is your chance to leave this fic while you still can... ... ... So you've chosen to stay? Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you!
3) I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING THIS FIC ON AO3 - The reason why is because on AO3 I can embed music to heighten your reading experiences since some scenes are meant to be read with the accompanying music I wrote it for. This fic's title is still the same there, but my AO3 username is "TCOOKIES777". So please, if possible, read this fic on AO3 instead for a better reading experience.
4) Sasuke is a jerk here - For this story, I will be basing his character on the Sasuke that was going psycho with killing Danzo and the intention of killing all of Konoha. So yeah, this fic's Sasuke will be based on that specific phase of Sasuke, meaning he'll be a psycho jerk here.
5) Because I know there are some people who have trouble separating reality from fiction, I will state that what I write in this story in no way reflects my personal beliefs. Again: FICTION DOES NOT REFLECT THE WRITER'S BELIEFS. Fiction is separate from reality.
Thank you for reading, and please enjoy the story!
Music vibrated through her body and down to her bones, but it wasn't the reason behind the slight pounding in Sakura's head as she made her way through the thick throng of people clogging up the hallway. She squeezed through, using her slim size to her advantage but not without the stench of sweaty bodies rubbing themselves all over her. One of those bodies had clearly skipped the deodorant this morning and she gagged but eventually popped out of the congested space.
"Inoooo?" she called out in a sing-song manner, trailing a hand against the wall for support.
Alcohol sloshed over Sakura's wrist when someone bumped her shoulder while trying to get into the right twerking position. A little tipsy herself, she gave the drunk guy twerking against the wall a second-long glare before continuing on to the kitchen where Ino was in the middle of mixing up another batch of jungle juice. The night was still young to already be making more, but a plethora of guests had shown up at their housewarming party than expected, much to Ino's delight and Sakura's chagrin.
The party had been planned as a celebration for moving in as fresh college students, though the house they were using once belonged to Neji before he passed it onto Hinata to share with Tenten. It was a great opportunity to meet the faces she'd likely be seeing daily once the semester started and it was also a good chance to get a head start in making new friends, but it wasn't the only reason why the girls had decided to plan this social event.
Taking a sip to test the strength of the vodka Hinata's cousin had scored for them, Ino went on to say something to her but the bass of the music drowned out her voice.
Sakura shook her head and leaned over the bowl of jungle juice dyed an innocent red from the Kool-Aid added. "What'd you say?"
"Are you having fun yet?" Ino repeated over the cacophonous thrum of the music.
Knowing the true meaning behind that question, Sakura shook her head again before raising the phone she'd been clutching almost since the party started. "He still hasn't responded to me! It's been almost twelve hours and he hasn't even read my text!"
Ino rolled her eyes at the phone. "Stop thinking about Uchiha already! You're supposed to be hunting for some cute guy to talk to and hopefully score that kiss with, aren't you? I thought that's what you wanted?"
Easier said than done! How could she do that when she didn't even know the very basic rules of flirting? It's not like she had much experience in the first place. "Can't you help me find a guy?" Sakura asked, pulling her bottom lip into a pout.
"What? You want me to hold your hand while you're talking to him too?" Sighing, Ino poured a ladle of the jungle juice before shoving the red cup into Sakura's hands. "Here, some liquid courage to loosen you up."
She stared at her reflection in the cup for a brief moment, wondering if her face was as red as it felt. Taking a sip of the sweet liquid, Sakura let it settle hot in her belly but found that it did nothing to help the nervous butterflies fluttering low there.
"Where's Hinata?" she asked, pouting harder at her friend's lack of support. At least Hinata wouldn't be able to say no to coming along with her. Although, she didn't think her shy friend could help her with the talking bit either.
"She's with Naruto." Ino paused. "Well, Naruto is playing King's Cup and Hinata is cheering him on. But Tenten should be… no, wait, I saw Tenten in the middle of a push ups challenge with someone."
Biting back a groan, Sakura opted to take another gulp of the sweetened juice instead. How did people attend parties and solo them? She felt like a wallflower, just standing awkwardly around in her skater dress, counting the white daisies that decorated the skirt. It was a mistake to pair it with her brand new white tennis shoes as they made sticky, cracking noises against the floorboards when she moved around the counter to lean against Ino. No doubt spilled alcohol stained her white soles now.
"I can't do this, Ino," Sakura whined, scrunching her face at a couple making out by the oven. "How do I just find a guy to kiss?"
"You're at a party with drunk people. It's not that hard."
"But you can't expect me to just greet someone and chat for a few minutes and then... plant one right on their lips?!"
"Well, how do you expect to marry a guy you've never even met?" Ino volleyed back her own question and Sakura winced.
"That's different."
"Of course it is," snorted Ino, pouring in more juice to balance out the alcohol. "Kissing a stranger is a lot easier than marrying a stranger."
"Easier doesn't mean it is easy," Sakura moaned, letting her friend's cold shoulder soothe the feverish heat in her cheeks. The bright lights of the kitchen made her head feel hot and she glared up at the fluorescent panels.
Tossing several empty bottles into a bin, Ino then wiped down the counter before turning to Sakura. "Hey, at least you're not trying this at the club where any sleazebag will just put their grubby hands all over you without even asking for your consent. These are your fellow peers. They're technically not strangers… not totally, at least."
But Sakura merely huffed, pouring a bit more jungle juice into her cup. Wherever Ino had learned to make such a perfect blend, she wanted to know her friend's secret. It was hard to stop when she couldn't even taste the alcohol in it, especially when it tasted mostly like strawberry Kool-Aid with traces of something else that was sweet like candy.
A new song began to play now, slower and more relaxed this time, but it only seemed to set a mood for the couples around them.
Shaking an empty beer bottle, Ino waggled her brows and smiled slyly. "Well, we're about to play spin-the-bottle in the living room. That will give you the perfect opportunity for you to complete your mission of the night."
Before Sakura could even try to come up with an excuse to get her out of playing, Ino was already grabbing her by the wrist to guide her back into the crowd of partygoers. By the time they'd squeezed through, Sakura's skater dress felt like a second skin, clinging to her body by her own sweat. She kept a tight grip on her cup, the plastic crinkling slightly as she drained it entirely to make sure no more could spill in the event somebody bumped her again.
The living room was stuffy with people, especially couples making out on the couches, but there was at least enough space to tiptoe around. Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, Sakura watched as Ino herded the people around into a circle. A few faces were recognizable from her highschool days, but most were the faces of new peers as well as Neji's peers, one of them including a boy with a bowl-cut hair. He kept making puppy dog eyes at her and it seemed Sakura wasn't the only one to notice it.
"Lee seems interested in you," Ino whispered to her as someone took their first turn spinning the bottle. "He hasn't been able to keep his eyes off you since his arrival."
"Lee?" Trying not to squirm under the guy's obvious scrutiny, Sakura made it a point to look everywhere but at him.
"He's one of Neji's friends. Wouldn't it be cool to say you got to kiss a senior?"
Truthfully, it didn't really matter to Sakura. What was important for her was the experience of having a meaningful kiss with someone she chose to share it with.
"I guess? But he's…" She pursed her lips. It was hard to find the right words without them coming out too dismissive. "He's not really my type."
"Oh, and that Uchiha jerk is?"
It was a good point, but Sakura scowled nonetheless as they watched two girls give each other a shy kiss on the lips before devolving into a bout of giggles accompanied by their audience hooting. Would she end up having that kind of reaction too? Kissing looked nice and it also had to feel nice if people loved doing it. Would she like it enough to end up giggling from enjoyment or would she be wiping her mouth in disgust? With the way her stomach was somersaulting as it neared her turn, Sakura believed it might be the latter.
But she wanted to kiss someone. She wanted to know what it was like to feel a pair of soft, warm lips gently press against hers—consensually, mutually.
Ino was the most experienced of their group, and Hinata had been dating Naruto ever since their junior year of high school so she definitely had her first kiss already. Tenten also had gone on enough dates to know what a kiss was like.
Meanwhile, I've never even been kissed on the cheek before, let alone gone on a date.
She tried not to be so bitter about it, but it was hard not to. It wasn't that nobody had ever asked Sakura out before, or that she was too much of a prude to agree to go out with them. No, the reason behind her being a virgin to the world of romance and sexual stuff was now sitting on the front screen of her phone in the form of a text.
She held back a gasp, fingers trembling around the screen edge as she squinted at the words that had just popped up.
S.U. : dress fitting
Dread trickled down her back—or was that sweat?—as Sakura realized what his answer to the question she'd texted him this morning meant for her. The years of her life had led to this moment, but to see the ball start to roll after sitting idle for so long felt so surreal. She swallowed back the bile that threatened to come up, blindly reaching for Ino's cup of jungle juice to force the bile to settle back in her stomach. Ino gave her a bewildered look but then noticed the way Sakura was now holding her phone in a death grip.
"It's Sakura's turn!" Ino suddenly announced, snatching the bottle from the person next to her and skipping her own turn to give it to the girl trembling at her side.
The cold glass shoved into her sweaty palms did nothing to soothe the turmoil raging within, but Sakura laid the bottle on the ground to let it spin.
Round, and round, and round it went.
She stared at it, willing it with all her mental might to keep on spinning forever and ever. At her side, Ino cleared her throat and she blinked slowly, realizing the bottle had already stopped spinning and everyone was waiting expectantly for her. That bile was slowly starting to make its way back up her throat again but Sakura was too busy gaping at Lee who met her horrified face with a grin and a thumbs up.
Was this it then? Was this how she would have her first kiss? Panic and nausea roiled hot in her gut but then Ino's words about Sasuke echoed back and Sakura gulped, knowing that it was better to kiss a guy like Lee rather than a cold statue like Sasuke Uchiha. At least with Lee it would be of her own volition (although she supposed the choice itself could be better). Even so, she'd always fantasized that her first kiss would be somewhat romantic considering she would've liked it to be a guy of her choice. Maybe not perfect because that would be asking for too much, but she liked to imagine it would at least give her some fuzzy warm feeling rather than the dizzying heat of alcohol and the stench of body odor and various perfumes.
Swallowing hard, she leaned forward onto hands and knees to meet Lee halfway. He closed his eyes, puckering his lips to the point that it briefly gave her the image of a fish. At that, a nervous giggle escaped her and he puckered even harder, seemingly encouraged by the sound.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
The whole room watched them intently and the butterflies were going crazy in her stomach now, seemingly sloshing that bile around.
It's just a kiss. It's exactly what I've been wanting to do for the past few years. I just want to know what it feels like, that's all. Kissing a stranger isn't the end of the world. If Ino can do it at the club, then surely I can do the same, right? Yeah, I can do it!
"I can't do this," Sakura squeaked out.
She stood up, eliciting a groan from the eager spectators and leaving Lee blinking up at her in confusion. He still had his lips puckered towards her and Sakura winced at the bit of guilt that poked her heart. He seemed like a good guy, but that didn't mean she was obligated to do anything for him. Or so Sakura told herself.
"Forehead?" Ino stood up to follow her away from the booing crowd and onto the front yard where there were only a few people strewn about the lawn. "Hey, what happened back there? Are you okay?"
"Fine. I'm fine," Sakura panted out, wiping her sweaty hands on the bare skin of her knees. She glanced up at the night sky, glaring at the stars that seemed to swirl above her head, taunting her with the memory of the game she'd failed to play. When Ino's hand came to rest on her shoulder, she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it. I guess the liquid courage wasn't enough for me."
I'm too much of a coward.
"Hey, it's fine if you're not ready."
"No, it's not fine if I won't even be ready to marry him!" She bit her lip, casting Ino an apologetic look for snapping at her. "I'm sorry, I…"
"No, I get it." Ino nodded, but Sakura wished she wouldn't look at her with such pity. "You want your first kiss to be special. Meaningful. Not with some guy you barely know but with someone you truly want to be with."
But Sakura just sighed, not wanting to get into this at the moment. "I just need some fresh air and then I'll be fine. You think Lee would still be down to kiss me after I blew him off like that?"
Rolling her eyes, Ino smoothed back the pink strands sticking to Sakura's hot cheeks. "Trust me, he would love nothing more than to suck your face off as soon as you give him the chance. It's just a game so don't worry about it." Once Sakura's face was free of the stray strands, Ino glanced back at the house. "You wanna rest upstairs? Hinata already finished fixing up her room so if you want..."
"No, I think I'll stay up here a bit longer." Upon hearing someone shout for Ino, Sakura turned to her friend and smiled reassuringly at her. "It's okay, I'll be fine. You should probably go back in before someone tries to raid Hinata and Tenten's fridge."
"Okay, but call me if you need me!"
Nodding, she watched Ino retreat back into the house, barking at someone to put out their joint before she stuck her heel up their asses. With a sigh, Sakura returned her attention to the sky, sucking in a deep breath to ease the dizziness that seemed to make the stars keep spinning the longer she studied them. Some of them were duller than others, nearly fading into the black background. That's exactly how she felt; a fading star that had nowhere to go but into the nothingness where she'd be forgotten.
Once I marry Sasuke, I'll probably be nothing more but a wife to decorate his arm outside and satisfy his needs inside…
Digging the heels of her palms into both eyes, she willed the hot burn of unshed tears to go away. Tonight was supposed to be a night of fun and celebration to mark a new milestone in their lives. College was a privilege that she sought to take full advantage and make the most of. She wouldn't let something like a stupid game ruin it… or the stupid idea of finally having her first kiss of her own free will.
The power button of her phone started to dig into the junction of her thumb. Sakura glanced down to check the time, but Sasuke's newest text message stole her attention once more and she was forced to replay their earlier conversation—which was also the only conversation they've ever made in the years they've been engaged to each other.
S.U. : set the date for NOV 21
Sakura: Why?
It had taken him twelve hours just to answer with 'dress fitting' and nothing else. But just thinking of those two simple words was enough for a fresh wave of tears to build up at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. Biting her lip, Sakura peered back at the house. Through the window, Ino was laughing at something a girl had told her.
Ino will be mad if I just leave the party like this, but I know she'll understand.
With a nod, she trekked across the lawn, navigating through the red cups and couples littering the grass. Her white tennis shoes dragged sluggishly across the pavement, crunching up the dead leaves that tumbled across her path. Tilting her head back, she inhaled the warm night air of September.
There was still plenty left to unpack back at her apartment, but the urge to just crash on her bed and escape the reality of her issues in the land of dreams was too strong. Anyway, there was still another day left to settle in before classes would start. Her backpack was already filled up with all the materials needed to take notes, and her last required textbook had arrived this morning, so she was set for the most part.
While in the middle of considering her outfit for the first day of school, a low whistle pulled Sakura from her thoughts and she noticed in the corner of her eye a group of men—older than her, but of college age—sitting on the porch steps of one of the student-rented houses that lined the streets around Konoha University. Keeping her eyes forward but with them in her peripheral vision, she ignored their ogling and hugged her arms, trying to walk faster. Her feet didn't really want to cooperate with her alcohol-addled mind, however, and the tip of her shoe caught the sidewalk. With a gasp, she flew forward until one of the men snatched a hand out to catch her.
"Need some help?" he asked while the pungent smell of weed assaulted her nose.
Sakura bit her bottom lip to keep the upper one from curling up in disgust. "N-No, thanks. Please let me go."
Did she slur? Their wicked sneers thinly veiled by polite smiles implied so. A wave of panic started to wash over Sakura as she realized the street she's on was dark and otherwise empty.
Instead of releasing her, the man's grip on Sakura's arm tightened when he sensed her start trying to move away. "C'mon, let us fellas walk you home, yeah?"
"Look, asshole, no means no," she spoke through gritted teeth, trying to focus her eyes on him. He seemed to be swaying side to side like they were at sea but it took her a moment to realize she was the one swaying. The hand on her tightened until it started to hurt and anger flashed hot in her red cheeks at the threat. "I said let go!"
She tried to yank her arm back but he yanked even harder in retaliation. Rather than let herself fall into the trap of his arms, she let her legs collapse like dead weight, forcing him to let go.
"Hey now, don't be like that," he growled as they started to circle her. "I was just tryna be nice and you gotta be all bitchy about it?"
Ugh, the stench of weed was making her even dizzier.
Two of them crept up behind her and Sakura reeled her arm back, clenching her hand into a fist to punch the living daylights out of the guy in front. Before moving out of the house that now belonged to Hinata, Neji had been kind enough to take the time to teach the girls some self-defense. Bagua… Baguazhang? Eh, something like that.
She tried to imitate the stance he'd shown them even as the men continued to sway before her. They chuckled, making kissy faces at her to egg her on.
She struck forward but lost balance when her fist flew forth, the momentum carrying her with it. The guy sidestepped with ease and Sakura stumbled, crashing to her knees and scraping them against the cement. Pain shot up her joint and she hissed, bending a leg to check the knee that was already bleeding. Tears sprung into her eyes but she squeezed them back. Like hell she'd give those assholes the gratification of seeing her whimper and cry!
"That was just a warm-up," Sakura tried to laugh it off. Her knee flared with pain upon standing up, but she ignored it with a shaky breath. "Now I'll give you a real knuckle-sandwich."
Fist raised once more, she spun around—miraculously not losing her balance this time—and lashed out with all her might, not really caring where her strike would land.
"Woah!"
She missed—no, she'd grazed his cheekbone!
Biting back a smile, Sakura straightened up triumphantly, still slightly swaying on her feet but feeling like a martial arts master now. The smile on her face faltered when she noticed the guy she grazed looked nothing like the guy she'd originally been aiming for… unless the first guy had somehow switched a wig of black hair for grey hair while her back had been turned? Her smile faded away when she saw the two other remaining men already groaning on the floor in pain. And then there was the first guy that'd grabbed her arm now knocked out flat on his back.
Huh… did she knock out all three of them with that one punch?
I must be better than I thought!
She glared at the extra fourth man who had suddenly appeared—the one she'd grazed by the cheek—and was now rubbing that spot while giving her an exasperated look. Unlike the other men, this guy had a mask covering the lower half of his face. As if that wasn't already suspicious, his hands were also clad in black gloves.
Their leader?
Sakura narrowed her gaze at him, particularly at the scarred eye on his left. "You wanna go, too?"
"Actually, I was just trying to help you," the man answered, raising both gloved hands with palms open in a gesture of peace.
"Oh please, I'm not stupid!" she scoffed, still keeping her hands raised like she was back in Neji's improvised class. She may be drunk, but she had enough sense to know that a man wearing a mask to obscure his face with black gloves to match was a huge red flag.
His dark eyes regarded her for a moment, brows raising just the slightest in what seemed to be amusement. The guy at his feet groaned, standing up shakily before trying to take another swing at the masked man. Stumbling back, Sakura watched in bewilderment as the masked man sidestepped the punch, using the guy's momentum to grab him by the mouth with the flat of his palm. The guy tilted back from the hand over his face and Mr. Mask swerved to his backside, sweeping both arms around the guy's neck to lock him in a chokehold.
Wait, what? Her mind seemed to be moving at a snail's pace, still trying to process what just happened. Mr. Mask had moved so fast and fluidly that it was a blink and you'll miss it moment.
"The fuck, man?!" The guy struggled against the hold on him but his efforts were futile. "What gives?! I was just trying to help her—"
"Leave the lady alone, or I won't leave you alone," a quiet and lethal voice slipped from behind the man's mask.
"O-Okay, I give!"
Once the guy was released, he scrambled to haul his friends up, not even daring to look back once as they ran down the street and disappeared around the corner.
Holy shit.
Mr. Mask turned back to Sakura and her mouth flapped open to say something. It was too dark to really see his whole profile, and his face mask certainly didn't help. All she could see was a pair of dark eyes that ran down her body and she immediately scowled at the thought that he was trying to check her out until those eyes paused at her bleeding knee.
"Are you okay?"
His voice was deliciously deep and smooth despite the mask covering his mouth. She gaped at him for too long a while, brain still hazy from alcohol. Did that really just happen? A thug beating up other thugs? It had only been two days since she moved into this area, so Sakura wasn't entirely sure of the kind of people who lived around here, but… Was there such a thing as a good thug? Or did she just run into the friendly neighborhood vigilante?
"Miss?"
Those dark eyes still stared at her, calmly.
"What the fu..." she cleared her throat, blinking rapidly to take herself out of her stupor. "Um, yeah, I-I'm okay. Thanks for… saving me?"
Did knights in shining armor come in black?
"No problem, but I'd prefer if you didn't try to punch me as thanks?" He grazed a finger against his cheekbone and she winced along with him.
"Wha—I mean can you blame me?" A bit flustered, she waved a hand over her face. "You've got a mask on and you're wearing a black hoodie. I thought you were with them!"
Peering down at himself, he scrubbed a hand against his jaw thoughtfully and she couldn't help but notice it was a very nice, strong jaw even under that skin-tight mask. "You've got a point there. Sorry about that."
Mr. Mask's sheepish admittance of his shady attire prompted a giggle from Sakura and she swayed on her feet once more. Oh god, am I still tipsy? Why did she find that so embarrassing in front of him? Ooooopsies!
"What?"
She narrowed her eyes onto the strange look he gave her. Oh shit, was I talking aloud?
"Yes, you were," said Mr. Mask. "And still are."
Feigning ignorance, Sakura tried for a more innocent expression. "What?"
"You're drunk," he noted aloud, crossing his arms with the air of an authoritative figure.
She shook her head, but the world spun with the motion and she threw her hands out to balance herself. "Whaaa? Pfft! No, I'm not."
"And you're slurring."
What's this guy's problem? A stranger like him acting like her father… the thought annoyed her and she put both hands on her hips to turn the conversation onto him. But damn, her mind was so foggy and, once again, all she could think of was a fish with its mouth gaping open helplessly.
Pffft!
"How old are you?" he asked, still keeping his arms crossed.
"Old enough," she answered, voice lilting at the end like she was also asking a question.
He hummed disapprovingly and she wasn't sure why, but hearing him make that sound while his arms were crossed and he was staring hard at her in the dark… it did weird things to her lower belly. Fluttery like earlier with Lee but, instead of nausea, it was… heat? Huh, maybe she drank a bit too much of that jungle juice.
Sakura's eyes fell to those arms where his muscles bulged against the thin sleeves of his jacket. Wow, this guy definitely hits the gym often. Or maybe he takes martial arts classes; that would explain that kung-fu move he pulled earlier.
"Well, you're clearly not old enough to drink."
Oof… caught.
But she frowned at his chiding tone, raising her gaze to meet his own. "I was doing it safely with friends, Sensei."
With dozens, and dozens of friends; most of whom she had never met before in her life until then. But a stranger like him didn't need to know that.
He still seemed taken aback by her random dojo nickname for him until he shook his head. "Well, you're clearly not with friends right now and you're not safe on your own."
Okay, Dad.
Frowning at her, Mr. Mask shook his head again and then stole a look around as if searching for a group of girls that might recognize the pink-haired girl in front of him and help take her off his hands. But the streets were now empty at this time of night with the house tenants either tucked in bed or still partying at the frat and sorority rows.
They were alone.
Cocking her head, Sakura asked, "So I'm safe with a stranger like you?"
Ooh, that was a dangerous question. Why did she ask that?! Stoopid, stoopid, stooo—
"Kakashi," he replied, slipping his hands deep into the pockets of his sweatpants. "If it makes you feel comfortable, my name is Kakashi. But since I'm just a stranger to you, I think you should have your friends come pick you up."
A white—or black?—knight and a gentleman? Okay, maybe he really is a good guy after all…
"Fine, I'll call them right now." Raising her chin, she wagged her phone in front of his face to satisfy him. She turned her attention to the screen, squinting at the bright light while trying her best to ignore the preview of Sasuke's text that she had yet to officially open. Her fingers tapped across the screen as she inputted the password to unlock her phone.
Incorrect password entered.
Sakura blinked and tried again.
Incorrect password entered.
A frustrated growl escaped her.
Incorrect password entered.
Oh, come on!
Incorrect password entered.
Stupid—
Incorrect password entered.
In her peripheral vision, Kakashi's feet shifted.
Try again in 1 minute.
Fuck.
"My phone is acting weird," she mumbled, hesitantly peering up at him through her lashes. He clearly didn't believe the lie and she felt like a fool for it. Biting her lip, Sakura slowly pivoted around in the direction of her apartment one block away. It was fine; she was an independent woman who didn't need a man to escort her every time she went for a walk at night. "I'll be able to walk just fine on my own from here on out, but thank you for saving me back there."
He merely tilted his head at her, almost curiously.
"Um, well, have a good night… Kakashi," she added his name as an afterthought. The three syllables rolled off her tongue quite easily.
She took a step forward, but her knee flared with pain and Sakura couldn't help but cry out in agony, kneeling down to relieve her leg of the pressure. The bit of blood that trickled down to her shin had dried up at least.
"Is it a sprain?" he asked from behind, closer now, but he lingered a respectful distance away.
"Nope," Sakura sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. "Just the start of a really bad bruise."
Still, she tried to move through the pain, determined to prove to this guy that she wasn't as helpless as he might've first seen her as. The haze of alcohol continued to addle her brain, however, and she stumbled through it, still tipsy and flushed from the neck up with her injured leg dragging after her. At some point during the whole mishap with Kakashi and those punks, her hair had also fallen out of its ponytail. Now it curtained haphazardly around her face, clinging to her hot cheeks again. Dazedly, she thought that she must look like a zombie, hobbling down the street and barely able to keep on her feet.
Another giggle escaped her.
Suddenly, there was a heavy sigh at her back, and then, "Get on."
"Huh?" Turning around, Sakura's mouth dropped at the sight of this stranger she'd just met—Kakashi—kneeling down with his arms held back in a gesture to carry her. The heat of intoxication in her cheeks dialed up all the way as embarrassment flooded her entire face. "No way, that's too humiliating!"
"Not as humiliating as it would be to fall on your face. But," he drawled out, "if that's what you'd prefer then, by all means, keep it up."
Sakura scowled but moved towards him. "I take it back. You're not really a gentleman."
Gah, why did she let that slip out?! She would give herself a facepalm if her head wasn't still pulsing as if the music from the party continued to beat through her.
"I never said I was," Kakashi calmly replied as she climbed onto his back.
His gloves must've been thinner than she thought because the heat of his hands penetrated through to warm up the bare skin of her thigh. Having never been allowed to let a guy touch her so intimately like this before, the sensation unsettled Sakura and she suddenly felt like the skirt of her dress was dangerously short for a situation like this.
He stood up and the motion was smooth but sharp enough to make her world spin once more, prompting Sakura to gasp and clutch at his shoulders more tightly. Oh wow, he seriously works out, she thought at the back of her mind. His shoulders were smooth and solid like steel, and she could feel the way his muscles rippled and tensed as he hoisted her legs around him more securely.
"Where do you live?" Kakashi asked, turning in the direction she'd been heading to earlier.
"Why? Are you planning to become my stalker?" She smiled nervously, glad that he couldn't see the unnerved expression she likely wore at the moment. Even she couldn't tell if her question was meant to be a joke or something… flirtatious.
Hitting on a stranger while drunk? Now there's a great idea, Sakura…
But he laughed, the sound of it rich and quiet while the fluffed ends of his grey—more like silver—hair tickled her cheeks. She could pick up the chilly scent of pine trees as well as the minty traces of his aftershave and beneath it all was something distinctly male and... She found herself leaning in ever so slightly for a stronger whiff. Mm, he smells… 'sexy' was the only word that came to mind. Catching herself at the last minute, Sakura groaned inwardly.
Maybe I'm the predator here...
She tried to shake herself free of his scent and pointed ahead of him. "I'm just a block away. The apartment complex on Peppermint Drive."
He hummed in acknowledgment and continued onward, keeping his gait slow… almost lazy. She couldn't tell if it was for her comfort or his own. Keeping her hands lightly on his broad shoulders—wow, she could feel the caps of his deltoids flex as he held her thighs up—Sakura racked her brain for any decent topic to fill the silence with before it would get too awkward.
Surprisingly, Kakashi beat it to her first. "So why is a minor drinking more than she can handle? Or, more importantly, why is she drinking at all? Is it just for fun?"
"My name is Sakura," she responded with a purse of her lips. "And… it wasn't for fun."
"Peer pressure?"
"Of course not. I know how to say 'no'."
"Do you?"
She raised a brow, wondering if it was a trick question. "Yes..?"
"Funny," Kakashi chuckled. "I thought you were going to say 'no'."
Damn it, she knew it was a trick question. "You're hilarious. Really."
"Mm, so? Why were you drinking if not for fun or out of peer pressure?"
Ducking her head, Sakura mulled over the decision to vent to this guy about her problem or not. Her friends knew all about her dilemma, but sometimes the thought of burdening them with even more worry kept her from divulging all the details about her arranged marriage to Sasuke. A stranger like Kakashi, on the other hand, would make it easier to spill everything, knowing they would never have to run into each other again.
"Well, I won't push you to tell me if you don't—"
"I've never been kissed before," Sakura blurted out. His pace remained steady, but she squeezed her eyes shut from the embarrassment of admitting such a juvenile secret. Opening her mouth, she continued slowly, "I've never kissed a boy before or have ever even been kissed on the cheek and… I wanted to know what a kiss feels like, so I attended my friend's housewarming party with the hopes that I could find some guy to… share the experience with."
It was incredibly embarrassing to be saying all of this, but it seemed the jungle juice had finally done its job in loosening her up enough, particularly her lips.
Sucking in a breath, Sakura allowed the scent of minty pine trees and musk to fill her lungs and clear her drunken mind briefly. "But I got too nervous and tried drinking some liquid courage and…"
"You ended up vomiting on the fellow?"
"Thank god, no." She would've died on the spot if that had happened with all her peers as witness. "But I did leave him hanging and he seemed… nice…"
If she could judge a book simply by its cover, then yeah.
"So? You're not obligated to give any sexual favors, even just a kiss, if you don't want to. Nice guy or not," said Kakashi.
There was something chivalric about that statement that eased the guilt that'd been twisting in her gut.
Still, Sakura sighed. "I guess, but now I've missed my chance."
Kakashi shook his head and his hair was tickling her cheeks again. The temptation to feel just how soft his silver locks were hit Sakura unexpectedly and she swallowed back the foreign urge… hard. He didn't smell anything like her male peers who practically showered themselves in cologne or Axe body spray. "You're still young; you have plenty of time and chances to find the right guy and have that first kiss."
No, she didn't. In fact, she didn't have any time at all let alone the opportunity. Her engagement to Sasuke Uchiha had trapped Sakura for so many years of her life and, soon, she would be kept in his gilded cage for the rest of it. Tonight had been her best shot at experiencing the independence of kissing someone of her choice and not someone she was tied to.
Her dream to find true love may exist but the possibility of it coming true remained non-existent.
"I guess so," Sakura mumbled, peeking at the length of her ring finger.
Eventually, they arrived to a stop in front of a three-story complex coated in a fresh coat of sky blue paint. "This it?"
"Yeah," she answered slowly, wondering if her knee could make it up the flight of stairs to her apartment on the second floor. "You can put me down now."
He gently set her down, the hands on the underside of her thighs disappearing and leaving her shivering slightly from the cool air that replaced his heat. Bending her leg, she tested the pain of her knee and found it bearable compared to earlier. Kakashi watched her with his hands back inside the pockets of his grey sweatpants again.
"Will you be fine going in?"
"Yup, I'm good now."
Besides, she didn't want him knowing exactly where she lived. He may have been kind so far, but the idea of stranger danger still faintly rang in the back of her mind. What if this Kakashi really was a predator and that incident with those guys earlier had all just been part of an elaborate setup? But then again, if it was a setup, would he have really had to beat them up like that? Even that seemed too excessive for a setup. Gah, running into those assholes had really set her on edge tonight and now she was trying to paint Kakashi as a villain when he'd done nothing but help her. But besides Naruto, it wasn't like she had many guys in her life to trust anyway...
"All right, well, good luck on your path of life," Kakashi said, waving once in farewell to her.
"Wait."
He paused, tipping a brow at Sakura as she chewed her lip.
Was this it? Was this her second chance to do what she couldn't do earlier: kiss a stranger? Maybe it was fate that she'd been unable to kiss that Lee guy only because she was destined to kiss this guy instead (pfft, yeah right).
It was still too dark to make out Kakashi's entire profile, but his deep voice and tall height made him decently appealing enough to Sakura. At least he didn't have the stench of weed on him; in fact, he smelled amazing. Yeah, it wouldn't be so bad to kiss him. At least try practicing on his cheek and then she could try going for the mouth next time with someone else.
Baby steps, Sakura. Baby steps.
She swayed forward in a shoddy attempt to move closer to him. He must've thought she was about to fall again because he caught her by the shoulders with his gloved hands kindly gripping her. It only served to encourage Sakura, however, as she found herself securely against his chest.
Easy now.
Clutching the lapels of his jacket to keep herself steady, Sakura squinted up at his mask, wondering how she was going to kiss him when he was wearing that. A giggle bubbled forth as she imagined peeling that mask either up or down and kissing him like how Mary Jane kissed Spider-Man in the movies.
Forget kissing a senior, I'm gonna kiss a vigilante!
She snorted in laughter and Kakashi raised both brows in befuddlement.
"Sakura?"
She blinked slowly at the sound of her name rolling out so smoothly from his mouth. "Um…"
You're freaking him out! Just kiss him already! Just—
"Are you all right?" he asked slowly.
"Huuuh…"
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
Yeah, I can—
Vomit spewed out of her mouth and all over Kakashi's front.
The last chunk of today's lunch was followed by a terse silence that seemed to stretch on for eternity as the both of them remained frozen, still processing the horror of what just happened. It was only until Sakura registered the foulness of her own puke did she finally release him and jumped back in a panic that was potent enough to free her of the fog of her inebriation.
"O-Oh god, I'm so sorry!"
Her palms hovered over him as if she could magically wipe away the vomit with her bare hands. Very gingerly, to avoid the pungent red splatter, he picked at the zipper of his jacket and tugged it down. Sakura's eyes widened as she realized that her barf had also seeped through the jacket to stain his white dress shirt—wow, he's got mad pecs straining against the buttons—as well as his olive tie.
Oh, fuck me—that looks expensive—fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!
It was too dark to read his expression, especially with that damn mask on, and Sakura briefly wondered for a hot second if he was going to karate chop her as punishment. Maybe just break her neck and hide her corpse in the nearby dumpster. He was wearing gloves already anyway.
"You know, you have very funny ways of thanking people," Kakashi said dryly, picking at his dress shirt that was no doubt sticking to his skin now. "I save you from those guys and get punched for it. Next, I carry you to your apartment and get barfed all over for it."
Despite the displeasure evident in his sardonic voice, he was remaining amazingly calm for someone who had put another guy into a chokehold just earlier.
She winced anyway. "I'm really so sorry! I… I can wash that for you and get you a clean shirt…?"
If her mom knew she was inviting a guy she only just met ten minutes ago into her apartment—alone—Sakura knew she would have gotten a week's worth of lecturing. It was a terrible idea, that much was clear. Her rationality, however, was overridden by the unbearable guilt that she'd really been giving him the short end of the stick despite his kind efforts.
"I…" Rubbing the nape of his neck, Kakashi took the moment to survey their empty surroundings. His brows pinched together in hesitance, but it was either that he walk home with her smelly, chunky puke setting into his clothes, or that he accept her offer. The choice was obvious. "You sure you've got a shirt that can fit me?" he asked with a sigh of defeat.
She nodded, fingers twisting together anxiously. Jerking her head in the direction of the complex's entrance, she guided him over and he followed her into the building. He kept two steps of distance in between them as if worried she would rain more puke on him. Although the nausea in her belly had subsided after throwing up most of the alcohol, Sakura didn't blame him for wanting to have some space. She was a walking disaster when it came to her luck with men.
Even so, the keys in her hands shook with nerves at the thought that she'd be alone with a guy in her apartment for the first time in her life. Never mind the fact she only knew Kakashi for about as long as it took to cook some instant ramen. She'd never even been alone with her own fiancé before—although she'd never seen him in person either.
As they slipped down the hallway, Sakura silently cursed herself for not cleaning the place up better before leaving with Ino to the party. Moving boxes, clothes, and small kitchen appliances were strewn all over the place. While Kakashi was looking elsewhere, Sakura moved to toss aside a sports bra lingering on the back of the sofa as discreetly as possible.
"Sorry about the mess." She smiled sheepishly, nudging aside a box full of clothes she'd yet to unpack so that he could have more space to walk around. "My roommate and I haven't had much time to finish settling in."
He carefully navigated his way through but then stopped at the green and red college pennant Ino had hung up above the couch in the living room. "You go to Konoha University?"
His expression was unreadable in the dark, but turning on the lights would mean having to climb over a whole obstacle course consisting of boxes and other furniture. The persistent throb of her knee told her that would not be a fun idea.
"Yeah, my roommate and I. The bathroom's down there on the left if you want to clean up," she added, pointing into the next hallway.
As Kakashi hurried over to the bathroom, she trailed after him, making a right to enter her room in search of that shirt she'd promised him. At least her room wasn't as messy as the living room and kitchen, and she couldn't imagine how Ino was faring with unpacking her own things either.
Heading into the closet, Sakura sifted through the nearly empty rack of clothes. Her fingers landed on the red hangar she'd specifically saved for this article of clothing and she slowly plucked it off the rack. The grey cotton of the large shirt she clutched in her hands was unbelievably soft and Sakura couldn't help but nuzzle her cheek against it, letting the faint memory of her father fill her mind for a moment.
She hated to part with it, especially when she had brought it along to comfort her on those particularly lonely nights she found herself missing her parents more than usual. But it was the only shirt that would fit Kakashi and she owed him at least this much.
Oh well, it's not like Papa is around to miss it anyway.
With a heavy sigh, Sakura headed to the bathroom with the shirt in her hands. She knocked on the door, waiting until he cracked it open so that she could slip the shirt through for him. "This should fit you. I'll also get a bag to put your clothes in."
"Thanks."
The door closed shut and Sakura tapped a finger against her chin in contemplation. She still felt bad for ruining his clothes. That dress shirt and tie hadn't looked exactly cheap, although she also didn't know much about men's clothes and their prices.
Pivoting back towards her room, she perused through another box of clothes that was still sealed, ripping the tape off it to sort through the miscellaneous items within. Eventually, she withdrew two packages wrapped in ruby red gift wrapping paper with white hearts peppered across. Ripping off the wrappings, Sakura tilted her head at the neckties before her.
In her left hand was a red necktie with little tabby cats and in her right hand was a grey plaid tie with a pattern of sushi. Both options were more cheesy looking rather than professional, but both ties had cost her a whole month's worth of paycheck.
"Ahem."
The sound of somebody clearing their throat prompted Sakura to spin and find Kakashi lingering just outside the threshold of her room. He held up his ruined clothes, letting the faint scent of her shame to waft over to her. Grabbing a grocery bag from this morning's breakfast, she let him slip the clothes inside and he immediately turn to go with his clothes in tow.
"Thanks for letting me clean up," Kakashi said over his shoulder.
"Hey, wait," she called out, surprised by how quickly he'd moved before hesitantly offering the two packages to him. He paused and turned to face her as she asked, "Cats or sushi… or both?"
His brows shot up, dark eyes flitting in between the two options held before him. "Uh…"
Sakura sighed. "They were supposed to be gifts for my dad but it's been too long since I've had the chance to give it to him—and no, he's not dead. I just haven't seen him in a long time."
Those dark eyes crinkled lightly and she wondered if that meant he was smiling behind that mask no doubt in reaction to how awkward this all was. It's not like either of them ever expected to end their night with puke, followed by having to decide between a sushi tie or cat tie. "Uh, I'm not sure—"
"Oh please, what else will I do with them?" She shrugged. "It's not like I'd ever have a need to wear a necktie myself. You'd be doing me a favor by taking these off my hands. At least take them as thanks and, um, as an apology for… you know."
"Then…" Still hesitant, he slowly reached for her left hand. "I'll take the sushi tie. I'm not much of a cat person anyway."
"Mm, I'm more of a dog person myself," she said, nodding approvingly while handing it to him.
Almost as soon as the sushi tie was within his hand, Kakashi whirled around to make his leave, his other hand gripping the bag of dirty clothes.
"Wait, did you need me to wash your—"
"No, no, that's fine," Kakashi said a bit breathlessly.
He seemed less relaxed compared to earlier when not even her vomit had him rushing. Did he have somewhere to be at this time? He didn't seem to be in that much of a hurry when he saved her from those punks or when he offered to carry her home.
Following Kakashi past the kitchen, she nearly crashed into him when he abruptly froze by the island counter. What the?
"You're taking Human Anatomy?" he asked, his voice slightly strained now. Or maybe it was just the mask.
"What?" Sakura followed his gaze to the thick green textbook lying on the counter, the box it'd arrived in this morning still sitting right beside it. "Oh yeah, but… I don't really have a major. I'm still undecided, but I've always had a curious mind for the sciences so I thought I'd take it for fun and, you know, see where it'll take me."
He swallowed, throat bobbing beneath the length of his mask. "And who's your, uh, instructor?"
"Dunno, I gotta check again. Something with an 'H', I think." Twirling a lock of hair around her finger, she added, "Heard he's crazy hard though, but it's not like I had a choice. It was either him or try one of the mile-long waitlists of the other two professors."
"Huh…"
Kakashi looked away and suddenly started to walk so fast to the door that Sakura almost thought he was going to break out into a sprint. She had to limp hard to keep up with him, her knee aching in protest. By the time he stepped out the threshold of her apartment, she was already panting lightly. Running a hand through his hair, his eyes flicked up and down the hallway restlessly.
"Thanks again for your help tonight. I really appreciate it." Sakura smiled sweetly at him in an attempt to set him at ease. Had she spooked him with the sushi tie or what? Did he think she was trying to flirt with him? Well, she did try to throw herself at him to steal a kiss just earlier. Sexually assaulting the guy who'd saved her… Geez, what else had Ino put in that jungle juice? Sakura made a mental note to never touch alcohol ever again.
"Ah, yeah, don't mention it." The glint in his eyes seemed too serious for those words as if he actually meant it.
"At least let me walk you out—"
"No!" His eyes had widened for a fraction before he managed to school his expression. "I, uh, wouldn't want you to agitate your knee," Kakashi explained, taking another look around before lowering his eyes.
"Oh." She followed his gaze to her leg and nodded slowly in understanding. "Yeah, you're right. Okay then."
Clearing his throat, he then turned to go. "I'll, uh, see you around then. Have a good night, Miss… Sakura."
She raised a brow at the sudden use of formality but, by the time she recovered, he was already speed walking down the hallway like the devil was on his tail. "Goodnight—" His silver head disappeared down the stairs and she blinked, her hand still in mid-wave. "Kakashi…"
Ooookay then...
She lingered at the doorway a moment longer before closing it.
Slowly, her brows knitted together and then Sakura dashed into the bathroom to take a peek, wondering if there was somehow a corpse sitting in her tub or maybe the tiles were painted in blood. There was… nothing. It was as clean as when Ino and her had first moved in yesterday, meaning it was the cleanest it could possibly be.
But then why had Kakashi been so eager to get out? As if he thought she was a serial killer or something?
Maybe my vomit breath scared him off? Cupping a hand against her mouth, she huffed into it and then sniffed, wincing instantly.
"Ugh, it was definitely that," Sakura groaned out, grabbing her toothbrush to begin brushing away the nightmare of the past hour.
She could die from mortification. Tonight had certainly been eventful, but not in the way she'd planned it to be—in fact, it'd taken a one-eighty degree turn. God, she hadn't just ruined both her chances to finally find out what a kiss felt like, but had also failed spectacularly hard. Ugh, why the hell did she have to have such bad luck with boys? Was it fate's way of rubbing in her face the fact that her future was sealed?
As if in answer to her questions, the phone in her hand vibrated, causing Sakura to stop scowling at herself in the mirror and pause her brushing long enough to glimpse at her phone.
S.U.: For the engagement party
The scowl on her face returned as she looked back at her reflection, scrubbing her teeth now like she was scrubbing a dirty toilet. It's not 'the' engagement party… it's 'our' engagement party. He can't even say 'our'?
He'd added that text like it was just an afterthought for him… And did he think her too stupid to figure out what occasion the dress fitting would be for? It certainly wasn't for her birthday because he'd never bothered to send her any gifts let alone any birthday wishes—so of course she knew it was for their engagement party!
The tears were back now, but she wasn't crying this time and certainly not over him—no, never for him. It was the fact that the doom clock that'd been counting down for so many years of Sakura's life was now coming close to hitting zero once and for all.
She could almost imagine Sasuke Uchiha smirking at her pitiful attempt to rebel against him. To try to enjoy her freedom while she still could. He wouldn't even need to punish her for it, because her marriage to him would be a punishment that would last for the rest of her life.
A/N: If you haven't yet read my Author's Note at the start of the chapter, please do so now since it's very important! Otherwise, thank you for reading the first chapter! Reviews are much appreciated :)
