Summary:

In the Summer of the year 2003, Gensokyo would experience its first large-scale incident in quite a while. As well as welcome an unexpected guest who knows he shouldn't be there, but neither does he know where he should be. He will continue to wander through countless plains splashed in grey, looking for a purpose to replace one he can't even remember leaving behind. His stumbling through the boundary would merely be a prelude of the many trials to come...

But it's not just Gensokyo's boundary that's weakening. And amongst a Gap Sage, a Vampire Troll, a Semi-mortal Doctor, a True God, a Force of Reality, the Lord of the Cosmic Void, the Egg which Houses All and an Ascendant Observer; nobody really feels like doing anything about it. And all we (I) know is 'push the publish and update button until people see something they wanna read amongst the pile of steaming shit (words) that comes out of my fingers when I get bored'. How many until you [Readers] are all satisfied? 10? 100? 1000? I won't even be able to have that many ideas (I don't even have a good idea for this story in particular). This will devolve into nothing but meaningless fanfic-fanfic-fanfics at some point.

And yes, technically my first fanfic. Don't go easy on me. But also make sure any criticism you give is constructive. I really don't wanna see a review that goes, "HAha, he can't evEn wRIte a FUckiNg FaNfic WhAt A FuCkinG LosEr. hE shOuLd jUSt *do the persona 3 summoning with a real gun… just to see what happens*", but kudos to the first person who decides that they want to rage against the machine and copy that word for word and post it in the reviews just to spite me. Congrats, you earned yourself a reddit bronze for a submission on the imaginary r/madlads thread, now fuck off. On a more positive note, if you really do feel like something could be done better, or a messed up part of the canon/lore/context could be corrected do leave a review which starts off with

"You absolute fucking dumbass…

*whatever the hell I managed to fuck up; be specific.*

*if it's something to do with the canon, lore, or context, give me a link to a source which I could read over to understand just how big of an idiot I am*

*what I need to edit/fix or rewrite.*

*future notes I need to keep in mind for future chapters which are relevant to the mistake.*

Sincerely, a man/woman/*preferred pronoun*/*your favourite animal*/*whomever you main in Super Smash Bros.*/*the object farthest from you in the room*/*additionally, since we are doing Touhou Project; whatever character you main in the regular games AND fighting games* with too much time on their hands."

I will be making a ton of mistakes related to poor character emulation or simply working off outdated or false information regarding the series in question. So I expect (at this point, being my first fic) about 3 of these by the next chapter. Updates sporadic and when I feel like it, mainly because I'm also juggling school work and writing a Persona DnD campaign on the side as well.


Disclaimer:

The Touhou Project is the intellectual property of Team Shanghai Alice (Read; ZUN). And Terraria is property of Redigit, Cenx, and the rest of the Re-Logic Team.

I own like one thing and all the things that can be directly associated with or attributed to him or his backstory (OC), until I start shoving more OCs and even character crossovers (as hinted as in the summary) into this series.

Well, I mean… I should probably discuss what this series is going to revolve around. The plot and storyline… all that shit.

Nahhh… as if I could manage something as basic as creating a simple narrative exposition.

This is all to see my OC get stabbed in the throat Dammit!

Now, for reference;

Italics places an emphasis on words, in full context it can display sarcasm or if used for an entire dialogue piece implies that the words were thought and not spoken. In the case where I have to emphasise a word that is thought I will do *this*.

Bolding places power on words, it may be used to announce things like Spells or Moves or what other Sentai shit ya weebs and chunis like to do (un)ironically in dialogue, it means that the spoken word is projected and of greater aural output than any other unbolded word.

Underlined words are words that are spoken or 'thought' in a different language other than the POV's native tongue. It will all still be english because guess what? I'm not gonna waste entire minutes of my life to go on a translator, copy-paste and fuck up the structure of a sentence in the end product, making me look like an idiot.

{Translation for when I do write a few lines in some random language other than english.}

{*This is an observer's text.} {*"This would be their dialogue."}

{**This would be a whisper of a [Reviewer], in case any of you wanted to get something into the actual story for fun or for the purpose of making the OMC suffer.}
{***This would be my (the [Creator's]) text, for when I feel like calling myself out for lazy story-writing or for something that was worded a little wrongly.}

((If you haven't been paying attention or are just dense, this is the author's note type stuff I will place around the chapter))


Prologue: Awakening to Nothing

First Person: Matthius' Point of View

When I came to the first thing I thought was;

"Not again…"

And the next thoughts were made in mass amounts of conflicted emotion varying from confusion to melancholy. But there was a single thought that was considered to be too important to leave for later, "Who am I?"... No… that's wrong. I know 'who' I am. I am 'Matthius Oreion'. That much can be said, but not much else. What I don't know is 'Why I am.'. From the moment I was left to slumber to the moment I grew 'conscious' I had merely been wandering the emptiness of the void. In a rift between what should be and what shouldn't be. One could almost call it a border, a boundary, or even a gap between what exists and what doesn't. I wasn't lost… being lost implies that you were straying from a path which led to one's destination. I merely am… stagnant beyond all question. Neither living nor dying, nor was I either static or variable. I could not even pass the time by sleeping like any living creature could because I'm not even sure if the 'What' I am would even be able to experience any form of 'rest' other than the complete lack of being that I previously was.

"I just want to *experience* something. I want to be able to dream."

Let it be known that I shouldn't even be able to think, much less construct entire sentences of pure english bullshit. However, whatever whim of fate has decided to give me 'will' also gave me the knowledge of the current 'world' as well as a brief outline of its history. If nothing else, I can do a coin toss and go back into a 'slumber', either I 'wake up' or stop 'being'. With that in mind, I finally begin to feel myself slipping as I disassociate.

#-Line Break-#

I woke up to an alarm. My body jolted into action-

"Woke up? Alarm!?", my voice sounded out across an empty apartment.

My head was a clash of new emotions, all of which still included confusion. First but foremost.

*Shmack* "Ow."

I punched myself in the face with my arm {***Well what else could you punch yourself with?}, confirming that I truly possess a physical body now; and not only that, but I had an unmistakably masculine voice with a pitch that lied just a little below tenor but neither bass or baritone, definitely not a kid's voice. In my giddiness I took a look around 'my' apartment, finally coming to the horrid realisation that I may have just hijacked the body of some poor guy who was just living his life… And as sad as it is, there's really nothing I can do about it now other than live this new life to its fullest.

Scratching the side of my head I pondered aloud, "I wonder if I have a job, most mature humans have them right?" I turned to the rest of the apartment and came to a new epiphany, even if the previous inhabitant of this body had a job, I wouldn't know about it, not having access to his memories. Maybe I could explore the city or something, assuming I live in a city and not some rural suburb.

I got up from the queen size bed and walked through the bleached white room towards the door, turning its cold metal handle and pulling it open. I am then greeted with a basic corridor, same white with some patterns running along the walls. There's also some tables with potted plants; the existence of another living thing, even if it was something as static as a houseplant was enough to boost my confidence. Shutting the door closed I find that it's one of those swipe card systems, the ones that ran off plastic cards and magnets or something like that. It was really strange to suddenly know things, if only the American Education System could manage something like this; maybe somewhere down the line they'll invest in cybernetics that could allow a human to download all the information off the internet as well as have remote access to search engines like google.

Maybe I would be the one to do so? The possibilities were endless with this new life of mine. Regardless of the locked door, I would not further disrespect the possessions of a dead man. I made my way down the complex into the lobby where I would expect a receptionist to be. Nobody's here. So I take my leave and exit the building, where a street was running busy with vehicles and pedestrians. And of course, it's Jacksonville Florida ((1)).

"This is it! Actual people! To live a normal life as a human means I'll have to regularly socialise with other humans, so why not start now."

"Hey- excuse me-"
"Can you spare a second sir-"
"Ma'am I really need to ask you something-"

No matter what I did though, nobody seemed to even hear me, hell, they didn't even seem to acknowledge that I existed. They continued their morning march towards their destinations. That's right, a destination, something I don't have. I looked up and saw one of their faces, or rather I saw their lack of faces. I was still for a few seconds, and began to run, somewhere, anywhere that wasn't the reality I was seeing.

#-Line Break-#

By the time I had stopped running, my thoughts had already accustomed to sorting themselves out. And they were mostly along the lines of "What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck no seriously what the fuck? Am I in some sort of studio ghibli movie? Am I an anime protagonist? ((2)) Is this all a falsity and fate's just a bitch for teasing me like this.". You know, the kind of things you would expect to hear after finding out that nobody but you has a face.

*Crunch*

The sound of a twig breaking underfoot pulls me from my thoughts as I observe the forest I ended up in. It was pretty meh to be honest. Trees, leaves, trees, stick, grass, oh a bush. After a few hours of non-stop walking and labelling basic forest features I found a disturbing lack of animal life. I took a seat at the base of a large tree, sun peaking through its leaves enough to hit me in the face, and closed my eyes for a few seconds, only for the sunlight to disappear.

I opened my eyes to expect a storm rolling in, only to have myself be shocked for what felt like way too many times already. The scenery of the forest had changed completely, where there were trees spread out over a pretty large area, I was greeted with trees packed in as far as I could see. Which was not much as the canopy was incredibly thick now, meaning that barely any sunlight makes its way through. This place seems to be a hotspot for mushrooms, though they are not any species I can recognise, I'm sure I can find a few edible ones if I were to be unable to leave this forest for any reason. But that might not be so bad… this whole area just feels… magical, for some reason. As if it belonged in some fantasy setting instead of the scorched earth and concrete jungles created by human greed and avarice. If I were to account for the effects of climate change and other human factors, there would only be around 20 or so locations that could match the ambience of this place, 7 of them being the natural wonders, which are already severely threatened by human pollution.

Walking towards a small puddle, I gazed into my reflection to gage my appearance; I did forget to see if there was a mirror in the apartment, being too excited. My skin was quite tan, I would say sandy-brown, but holy shit do I know nothing about colours and cosmetics. My eyes were bronze going into amber, and my hair was almond. A brown-yellow colour scheme is something I can work with. My clothes consisted of a generic green tee, light blue jeans, and red sneakers with white socks. My eyes narrowed as I observed the rest of my body, my muscles were lean, but not overly large, if anything my body fat percentage would be around a fifteen(%), not exactly athlete level, but I'm definitely quite fit for someone dressed like an idiot. Seriously? What were these clothes? Actually, no. Being a mere presence of the void I have no real sense of fashion and shouldn't be criticising other people's clothing for the sole reason of being a hypocrite. In terms of age, I'd estimate that I'm in my early twenties, or at least the body was. A lack of wrinkles with a fairly deep voice and standing at five feet - eleven inches (from estimate, but really what do I have that I could compare it to?) would indicate that at the very least the body is done with puberty. Thank God for small mercies. I've never experienced whatever 'the horny' (a play on 'hormones' ? ((3)) ) is but I sure as hell don't want to start now.

The information that I shouldn't have seems to have slowed for the most part, which I'm both grateful for and annoyed by. I've just about learned the basic outline of human history, mostly focusing on what the modern humans know; the 'Homo Sapiens', as they call themselves, seem to be the main active presence within this section of the galaxy. And all the 'knowledge' from the void tells me that practically any verse, world, dimension or 'reality' that I could have ended up in would be Sapien-centric, or at the very least Human-centric ((4)).

With this said, I reaffirmed myself and decided that this forest would still be better than the void. An easy decision to make, but I'm still light-headed from processing all the new information and stimuli. I shouldn't even be able to feel such emotions, or anything at all really. In the end-

Tearing my gaze away from the puddle of (what I assume to be) water I let out a sigh that had been building up for a while, "This all feels like a dream." I finally managed to get out.

As I turn around to make my way back to the base of the tree, a… rip(?) in reality appears in front of my very eyes. Scarlet, violet and black colours are present within the thin line extending across about a metre in a horizontal direction in conjunction to my position, at both ends are tied ribbons which appear to act as if they were stoppers on a zipper. And speaking of eyes, this rift(?) opened in a shape that was ellipsoidal enough to look like a palpebral fissure. And just what had to be inside this eye-shaped tear(?), that's right, more fucking eyes! Complete with crimson irises and a piercing stare. In fact it was so unnerving that I completely missed the fact that there was a person inside the damn thing! Okay, okay so I'm not that situationally unaware but I was kinda focused on the eye of eyes 5.

"My my, are you that interested in the gap?" The voice was feminine, but whatever was just spoken to me completely missed me due to a language barrier. Which raises several alarms. But turning my line of sight from the aperture(?) to the speaker I was blown away.

"Holy shit, she's got a face. That makes her the first person I've met who has actually realised my existence."

As pathetic as it was, this made her my favourite person on account of being the only person I've 'seen'. It was a logic so simple that I might as well have been a duckling imprinting on the first thing I see... does this make her my 'mommy' in this case? {***No Matthius, it doesn't, that's a whole can of worms we don't want to open… on second thought. Great Omake Idea! ((6))} I could only see her upper torso, shoulders and head due to the crevasse(?) she was… unnaturally beautiful, I guess. Not unlike trying to compare a regular person to one who had plastic surgery or some form of cosmetic drug. In fact, looking back at myself, I looked a bit more... unique… than those faceless figures.

The trigger of 'beauty' is entirely dependent upon easily distinguished patterns and symmetry. Attraction of a sexual or even romantic sort is influenced by body image via the baser instincts that indicate that one could be a viable partner if only for an optimal genetic advantage for one's offspring. Patterns also occur throughout nature which more ancient humans relied upon in order to determine many environmental factors and how they would play into either increasing or decreasing their chances of survival. Whereas a lack of symmetry in nature often meant that something was 'unnatural'. And yet my own face and the face in front of me seemed to lack any of the imperfections that would indicate that something was natural and not artificial. Simply put, the perfect symmetry actually made us more unnatural than natural ((7)).

The immediately identifiable features I were able to see were her purple eyes and long blonde hair that was covered by a pink mob cap with a red ribbon similar to the stoppers of the wormhole(?). The actual length of her hair was obscured by the hole-in-time-space(?). She wore a purple dress of some sort, with patterns which I didn't recognise. And also carried a parasol which rested on her shoulder.

"It's rude not to answer when someone is speaking to you. You know?" I don't know what happened, but the moment she spoke I felt like I was approaching a grave danger. However, it seems that she is more annoyed than angered at my lack of response rather than my rude appraisal of her form. Even so, I should say something to placate her. In the off-chance that she could tear me apart with those portals(?).

"I… cannot speak… your tongue…" Maintaining eye contact, I slowly enunciated the message I was attempting to convey, my voice purposefully low and never increasing in dynamic in order to make sure I was not provoking her nor was I coming off as aggressive. It was safe to assume she was Japanese or at least was speaking Japanese according to whatever knowledge I could retain, "I do not understand… Japanese."

"I suppose I shouldn't have expected someone from Jacksonville Florida of all places to speak the tongue of the Land of the Rising Sun." Well at the very least she seems amused, I think. She seems to gesture towards me, "Perhaps now you should try speaking. Manipulating the language barrier is quite simple for someone of my particular talents, after all." She suggests with a hint of pride.

The wet sack of meat in my skull I call a 'brain' did a little dance and produced a english-japanese dictionary, "... Holy shit how did you do that- urrghk, I mean, nani?" 'She manipulated the language barrier?' What does that even mean? Do the people of Japan have access to sorcery?

"Perhaps I should explain your dilemma a little bit more clearly. You are not in Japan. It's probably as close as you could guess without saying India or god's forbid Australia. Can you believe that some Americans are that stupid? No wait, that would be after 'Facebook' and 'Twitter' are created. Give it a decade or two, the stupidity of the outside world will amaze you ((8)). But ignore that for now, it's irrelevant."

"No no, go on, I really want to know how anybody could confuse an english speaking country for Japan." {*** People can write whatever they want without serious consequences. And stupid people are given a voice. Kinda like me posting this fic Matty boi.}

"*ahem* Anyways, you are currently in Gensokyo, the Forest of Magic to be specific. Gensokyo, also known as the Land of Illusions or the Land of Fantasy. It is also the place where the Forgotten become Remembered. It has been sealed off for a century from the outside world. Maintaining the Barrier around Gensokyo is my job; yet despite that, you've managed to slip through."

I nodded as I took in the information, "So the fantasy realm is sealed off from the world by a barrier, I somehowslip through, and I have to go on some magical adventureto make my way back home. I'm guessing." ((9))

And my guess is immediately invalidated as she giggles, "Nothing as cliche ((10)) as that, I'm afraid. Don't get me wrong, you will still get the chance to go home; the Shrine Maiden at the Hakurei Shrine sends outsiders back to the outside world every now and then, and being the Gap Sage, I could send you back right now. But I'm afraid that I can only create a gap to Jacksonville, whereas your true home is the void. Something which is beyond my abilities, and raises several questions about your true power."

I immediately take a step back and prepare myself… before realising that I can't fight; ignoring the fact that my instincts tell me she could destroy me in less than a picosecond if she so wished. "How does she know that I came from the void?"

"It would be unwise to insult my intelligence. After all, though you may have 'existed' far longer than I, I have lived much, much longer than the body you inhabit. In fact, any person attuned with magic and the supernatural could easily tell that you are… above… the average human. It seems that you have a tendency to be able to 'slip', into other verses. While most people would never be able to travel to other verses, for one that can, you are actually incredibly weak ((11)). For now, it seems. So I can say without a doubt that there is no 'home' for you in the outside world... But- you could make one here. The human village borders this forest, in that direction."

She makes another gesture and a 'gap', as she called it appears beside me. Suddenly, a blade launched out of it and embedded its tip into the earth, making me flinch and jerk away.

Upon seeing my reaction, she smirks, "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this. ((12))" she says, before she disappears into the gap. Leaving me to ponder at what exactly that last line meant.

Turning back to the sword, it was clearly one of oriental making. A katana, or something similar; 80cm blade, clearly meant for two handed use, with very little design on its black handle. From what I know, katanas are hyper-specialised on slashing and cutting, not hacking and stabbing. Any other usage of the blade would put too much strain on the brittle metal and chip it or even break it. In fact, it was the low quality of the metal that gave the blade its shape in the cooling process. It was truly the best blade the Japanese could make, but totally inferior to almost any other blade because of an unfair disadvantage in material.

I looked down near the shallow perforation that the katana had bored into the ground and saw what I could assume to be the sheath or scabbard lying there. I took it, placed it in two of the belt loops on the left side of my jeans, making sure to tie that fabric cord into place, presuming that that was its purpose. Nonetheless I slid the katana into the sheath and took off towards what would hopefully be my new home.

{*And so… with his brain small, his meat huge, and his pain endless… he treads onwards… ((13))}

Prologue End


Author's Notes:

1- No, Matthius is not a Self Insert - Original Character. He's merely my main and favourite Original Character as well as the guy I customise all my other characters after when I play games. Maybe I will add some Reader/Reviewer Inserts as well as Self Inserts of my friends for the sole purpose of bullying Matthius. But for the foreseeable future, there will be no Self Inserts of myself. In the later future, however, I might give Matthius the opportunity to 'kill' me in retribution for all the shit I put him through. Let's hope he doesn't quantum tunnel his way to me and actually kill me in real life. That would be a problem.

0.5- Also you can pronounce Matthius as either Matthews (Ma-ff-yoo-s) or Maffius (Ma-ff-ee-uh-s/su). It is not Matthias (as in Ma-tt-ie-es)

0- I'm going to say it now before you get confused, yes, Matthius will be able to 'slip' into other universes. Granted, he only keeps his skills and powers, and, with some outside help for the first few times, his memories. And no, he can't do so at will, at least not yet. Again, let's cross fingers none of these dimension jumping characters will find and kill us all.

1- "No! Anywhere but Jacksonville, Florida!.. Anywhere but Florida..." Yes, this is a FilthyFrank reference. No, Matthius is not Salamander Man. He might slip into the FilthyFrank Cinematic Universe and learn some Ass-Flute at one point… uh… not exactly a useful skill to have but… I'll toss the idea up there.

Video (From what I can find on YouTube): watch?v=a_dTLeM1K1E

1.5- Main reason being that FilthyFrank takes place around 2013-17, with Joji being around 2016-present.

2- Matthius doesn't actually say that. But I wanted to make a joke about the lack of faces on background characters in certain media and shows.

3- Matthius is asexual (maybe not necessarily aromantic), and so doesn't exactly produce oxytocin, and there's really no apparent use for fornication. Even so, I can't write romance and I sure as hell ain't gonna write fluff or smut. And so no, Matthius will not get a harem because frankly, nobody would be interested. Not that he minds, being an entity from the void.

4- Think about it. How many fictional/cinematic verses are there where there is a complete and utter absence of humans or humanoid life? This includes any and all inventions or inspirations made by humans. So even if there are no 'humans', there might still be evidence of human interference. We really are a bit biased and ego-centric as writers huh.

5- Wait until you witness the Night of Nights, Matty boi.

6- I said that in jest, but if I were to write an omake like that, it would probably feature a younger, more innocent/naive Matthius. And it wouldn't go the direction that was originally implied.

7- I mean, if you were to see an anime character in real life, they would definitely be more 'attractive' or 'beautiful' than your regular human (unless it's a 'realistic' anime face). Difference between something that naturally occurred due to genetics and a face that was drawn to the artist's liking. You don't see an 'ugly' character unless the artist was doing it on purpose or unless they are genuinely bad at drawing. It's also why there is a bias in character designs, especially considering the factor of the artist's sexuality.

8- Should Yukari be able to see the future &/ the outside world? Yes. Does she ever do this in canon? Not from what I remember. God only knows what kind of messed up shit she would see though. *cough* rule 34 *cough cough* erotic and pornographic doujins *strangled choking*

9- Is it gonna be an adventure? Yes. Is it going to have magic? Yes. Is it going to be a magical adventure where you have fun? Well- maybe the readers will have fun, but Matthius is going to need therapy after a while.

Also, Matthius is already starting to develop/inherit a personality. I'm aiming for a sarcastic bastard but who knows with how inconsistent this whole thing is.

Also, funny touhou meme number.

10- Oh, trust me Yukari, this shit is going to be filled with bad writing and terrible story elements. Also, Matthius never got her name for plot reasons. Like Yukari not being properly introduced until PCB, after EoSD.

11- On the topic of Matthius suffering. Yes, this is partly because he is terribly weak by most standards.

Let's put this into perspective, at this point in the story:

If Matthius were to fight me. He would win.

If Matthius were to fight the average adult. He would win.

If Matthius were to fight even an inexperienced soldier (of any military), assuming they had about a year of training. He would lose.

If Matthius were to fight a fairy. He would lose. Hard.
If he were to fight Kosuzu. He would… be beaten to death via a large collection of demon books?
If Matthius were to fight Shinyoumaru (no Miracle Mallet). He uh… might stand some chance? She is a pretty small target tho

If Matthius were to fight Rinnosuke. He would be beaten even harder. I mean, in all the fan-games where he was a viable combatant, he was fairly weak, but still. He has the fucking ame-no-murakumo in Touhou Labyrinth 2 and was fairly decent combat-wise in the first game. So I would be fairly justified in deciding that Rinnosuke would be much stronger than Matthius. Implications also could mean that Rinnosuke has spell cards (Like "First Aid" and "Battle Command", having being nerfed from Mannosuke to Supportsuke Low-Stats-High-Aptitude having ass), despite being unable to fight with danmaku. Which is kinda weird for me, a plebian Touhou fan who lacks knowledge about the fine details.

If Matthius were to fight each of the Fairies of Light separately. He would die from a trap 'prank'. Assuming he didn't, they still have magic and he doesn't.

He would be obliterated by Cirno. Let's be honest.
So, the bar at this point for power development is Cirno; as in, by the end of this fic, he could stand a fair chance against the Ice Fairy. No guarantees though.

12- Yukari knows what's good. And if you didn't get that reference, you must be like 6 years old or younger. What are you doing on ? (or AO3, or really any other platform I feel bothered enough to publish this fic on.)

13- From a tumblr shitpost made by [chemtrailmix] which someone tagged as being the last line of the Great Gatsby.

Matthius' brain (as of right now) is about 1100g (Male avg. is 1370g) and 1190 cm3 (compared to the average of 1260cm3). His IQ would be around 120 though.

Matthius' genitals and their dimensions/measurements are of no importance; he's 'canonically' asexual, and I'm not gonna write a scene with him urinating (outside the occasional non-canon omake). In fact, they might as well not exist.

Matthius' pain is not endless… yet.

True Word Count: 3300~

Total Word Count: 5200~


Next Chapter Preview: Matthius gets Blinded by T-Pose Goth Girl Roomba-chan

"It's not that I'm blind. It's that everything is pitch black for some reason. Also, blinded by a what?"

{***Same thing.}

"Moon Sign [Moonlight Ray]!"

"Huh, what was- ARE THOSE FUCKING LASERS! No wait- THERE'S TWO!"

*clang* *tumble* *crash*

"aa…kuso- {ah… shit}"

{***It's okay, those don't go all the way, unlike scissors… or knives.}

"Oh, nevermind. Keep doing that."

"Tune in next time, on Matthius' Fantastically Inane Adventure(s), feat. That-one-guy-who-wants-to-be-a-Hero-of-Justice and That-other-guy-who-wants-to-be-a-Hero-of-Justice."

"Wait a sec, I thought youweren't supposed to be back until the next incident."

{***That's a really blatant reference, Yukari. Though I'm loving the over-ambiguous names. Also, stop reading the manuscript, Matt.}

"Night Sign [Night Bird]"

"Why are there so many projectiles?"

{***I can't wait until he reaches the 6th Stage.}

And... cut