notes: so i finally got off tumblr and stopped dancing around my room to the vaccines to actually write this up. aka the mythology!au no one asked me to write and i'm kindly forcing upon you all. by the way, this is kind of a modern thing.
dedication: nope.
disclaimer: to jordan. ily. you're probably the only person who cares about this, to be honest.
x
{you, you enchant me; even when you're not around}
x
Her lashes brush her cheeks and the soft petals fallen from the tree onto her face. There's a constellation of freckles under her eyes and across her cheeks, and her lips are barely parted in sleep. Flowers of all kinds are woven into her long, auburn hair—forget-me-nots, baby's breath, primrose—and there's a small bouquet of daisies tucked loosely into her clasped hand. It rests in the grass next to her, while her other arm is draped across her stomach. Her dress is pink and perfect, revealing her shoulders and arms, her knees and legs. She's barefoot, like always, but her feet aren't dirty.
She's fallen asleep under the crabapple tree again, and the gentle breeze keeps stealing petals off the blossoms. It's a beautiful day, but it pales in comparison to her. She's lovely.
i. (death wears a baseball cap and ratty old sneakers)
Aphrodite bursts through the doors, hair flying and wreath of roses resting on her head askew.
"I can't find Persephone!"
Artemis, startled by her friend's sudden entrance (and really, she should be used to them by now) misfires the arrow she'd drawn. It finds a home in Dionysus' rear end. He hollers. Loudly.
The Goddess of the Hunt lowers her bow and gives the blonde a questioning look. Dionysus is yelling profanities at her, but eh, he'll get over it. "What do you mean you can't find Blossom?"
Aphrodite—more commonly known as Bubbles among her close friends—tugs at her pigtails in distress. "She isn't anywhere, Buttercup! I've checked! She's not under her favorite crabapple tree, or in any of her gardens, or in the meadows, or—or—"
Buttercup places her hands on the girl's shoulders. "Hey, hey. Calm down. Tell me what happened."
Butch, known among his followers as the God of Pleasure, hobbles over to them. "Yeah blondie, spill it."
"Well," Bubbles sucks in a deep breath, "I went looking for Blossom because we were supposed to have dinner together tonight at that new Italian place, but when I got to the crabapple tree, she wasn't there. And she said that she was going to be there, so I thought, 'well, maybe she had to leave and go do something.' So I checked the rest of her favorite spots and even asked around but nobody's seen her since this morning and and and—" she starts to cry, "—she's just gone!"
The two other immortals share a look, and Buttercup knows that she needs to calm the blonde down immediately or else they'll never get another word out of her. She shrugs the quiver off over her head and sets it next to her bow. Butch shifts uncomfortably as Bubbles sniffles, brushing away her tears and looking his way with a trembling lower lip. He's shit at comforting crying girls. Especially immortal crying girls with a past penchant for cursing people who've pissed her off. That's a situation he never wants to find himself in.
"Okay," Buttercup tries, "did you look at her house? You know, that place in the woods where she lives with her dad? Sometimes she goes home to do…I don't know, whatever she does there. Or the mountain?"
Bubbles gives her a half-hearted glare, a bit hurt that Artemis would think she'd be dumb enough not to check those places as well. "Of course I have! She wasn't there. And I didn't say anything to Demeter because," she pauses, her expression turning horrified.
The other two get it without the rest of her explanation. They do.
"So where could she have gone? Blossom doesn't go anywhere without at least telling someone first. I'm so worried. What if something happened to her?"
Butch rolls his eyes. "What could possibly happen to someone like her? She's immortal. It's not like she'll die."
Buttercup punches him so fast he doesn't even see it coming. She shakes her hand and sighs. "Was there anything different you noticed when you were looking for her? Anything off?"
The blonde's brows furrow and she taps her chin. "Now that you mention it, yeah. At the tree. There wasn't anything around except a bouquet. I thought she'd probably picked it, so I reached down to get it before I left, but there was something weird about it," she wrinkles her nose. "It felt…I don't know, this might sound crazy but, I got this feeling. It was cold and sent a shiver down my spine—you know, like when it gets all tingly? It felt kind of dreadful, and when I looked at the bouquet again, I noticed that it was dead."
She frowns. "The flowers were wilted, even though I could've sworn I saw her holding the exact same ones this morning. When Blossom picks flowers, they usually last longer than if you or I or anything mortal would. So it doesn't make any sense."
"And the air around the tree gave me the jeepers. It was unwelcoming and entirely unlike usual," Bubbles visibly deflates. "It made me all depressed. I felt like I was going to die."
Buttercup sneers at her words. Something had definitely happened to Blossom. The question though, was what? She huffs, then snaps her fingers. "Alright, fine. We're calling that dumbass Hermes. He always seems to know about bullshit like this. It's fucking creepy, but sometimes useful. Do all mailmen know everyone's secrets?"
"Possibly," a chipper voice above them notes. "And who's the dumbass again? I'm pretty sure it's Dionysus here with an arrow sticking out of his."
Butch scowls up at the floating messenger and his bright grin. "Boomer, I'm gonna shove all those letters down your throat."
The mailman of the gods looks offended and clutches his mailbag brimming with envelopes closer to him. He even looks like a mortal mail carrier, what with his baby blue postman's shirt and darker cap slapped on over his floppy blond hair. Most mailmen don't fly, however. Or hop between dimensions like a kid jumping in and out of the colorful chalk squares in hopscotch.
"I don't think so, arrowass. Anyway, you called?"
He looks expectantly at Buttercup.
She sighs. "Look, Bubbles here can't find Blossom anywhere apparently, and we were wondering if you'd seen or heard anything? You know so much shit about everybody, it's unbelievable."
"You think I like this job?"
"Yes," the three of them chorus in unison.
Boomer sniffs. "Well. You call me here and insult me, then you tell me that you don't even have any messages to send. Whatever man. If it's a favor for Aphrodite, then I guess it's okay."
He rubs his chin and squints. "…Nope. Haven't picked up a thing. I saw Persephone yesterday though. She seemed just fine, y'know, growing plants and stuff."
Bubbles begins to cry again, throwing the messenger into a panic. He waves his hands around wildly, flailing and almost knocking Butch upside the head. "But I'll see if I can find something out! Don't cry Bubbles!"
He's gone in a poof of smoke, and Buttercup heaves another sigh. "We'd better try and find her too. Demeter'll blow his cap if something's happened to her."
She takes Bubbles under her arm and they turn to head off. Butch raises a finger. "I'm comin' too. But first, can someone get this arrow out of my ass?"
x
Demeter slams his palms down on the table, and the sound echoes throughout the entire room. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER IS MISSING?"
Zeus—a short man resembling a monkey in the facial features department—laughs nervously. "Now John, do calm down. I am sure that your daughter is fine. She's probably just off in the fields. Persephone is okay. She's—"
"I'M REVOKING SPRING UNTIL SHE'S FOUND. PLANTING SEASON SHALL FAIL UNLESS SHE IS RETURNED TO ME. I'LL BRING THE HARVEST BACK WHEN I HAVE MY DAUGHTER BACK."
There are several audible gasps from around the room, and Butch mouths 'I fucking told you so' to Buttercup, who is slouched in her seat. Hera is, predictably, glaring daggers at Zeus from his seat, makeup flawless and sneer very prominent. Aphrodite is almost in tears, Athena is rubbing her temples, Hephaestus' head is on the table, Poseidon is chugging water like it's alcohol, and Hestia has put down her magazine on home improvement and cooking tips.
Frankly, Buttercup is amazed that Butch is even awake. He usually sleeps through these things, but apparently this is exciting for him.
To her, it's like one of the mortal things called soap operas. Everybody's screaming at each other, people are unhappy, there's normally at least one person who ends up almost dying (but not really). It's quite dysfunctional.
Zeus raises his hands. "Demeter, I understand your distress, but you must keep your composure—"
John points an accusing finger, and Butch leans forward in anticipation. "Excuse me? Who punishes beings for petty reasons again? And who kidnaps maidens? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT."
That does it.
"MY FAULT? WHAT AN INSIPID NOTION. HOW IS YOUR DAUGHTER DISAPPEARING MY FAULT?"
"EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS YOUR FAULT."
Buttercup is this close to losing it, just like everybody else. But thankfully, Hermes chooses to crash into the meeting room at the exact moment she's prepared to start shooting people.
His eyes are wide and he raises his hands—probably in a show of surrender, because everyone turns to glare at him.
Boomer takes a deep breath.
"I know where Persephone is."
x
Blossom wakes up to the sound of something growling.
That's not right.
She's up in an instant, and immediately knows that something is off. The sun isn't shining down through the tree leaves anymore. In fact, there's no sunshine at all. Everything is dark and dreary, the entire world draped in navy and black and gray. She tries to grab handfuls of grass as she panics, but all she gets is dust.
And.
There is something monstrous snapping at her from the shadows. She can see its eyes, deep and dark and staring her down. How long has it been there? Did it watch her the whole time she was asleep? She scrambles back in the dust and screams when her hands clumsily drag over—are those human bones?
This isn't home.
This is—this is—
Hell.
Whatever is watching her begins to emerge from the shadows, and she thinks, this is it. I am going to die. I'm going to die without even finding out how I got here.
She closes her eyes and clenches her fists, waiting to meet her untimely demise. And when something finally does tackle her, she topples over with a cut-off scream that echoes everywhere. The girl lays on the ground, very still, as something…licks her?
Blossom cracks an eye open only to see a puppy sitting on her chest instead of a demonic monster crushing her very being. Granted, it has three heads, but it's cute. The dog pants and all three heads look down at her happily with identical, shining dark eyes. Cautiously, she lifts a hand and puts it on top of the middle one. Some of her fear vanishes when it wags its tail and barks cutely at her.
She laughs nervously sits up, taking the small dog in her arms and wondering how she could've thought it was a monster about to eat her. "You're not so frightening, are you boy?"
He nudges her with one of his heads and only taps his tail harder against her leg.
She glances around and almost jumps out of her skin at the sight of someone leaning against the wall. His hands are jammed into his pockets and she can make out very red, very intrusive eyes staring at her. Rude. Whoever it is slowly drags one foot out of the shadows and steps into the faint light. He's wearing ratty old sneakers, and it makes her think of her bare feet.
The dog in her arms perks up as the figure comes closer—red hair sticking out from under an old red baseball cap, a hoodie, jeans, and those ratty old sneakers again. She shivers as the coldness (does that feel like despair, too?) of the place seeps through her mostly sleeveless sundress and raises goosebumps on her bare arms and legs.
He stops at her feet, and the dog wags his tail happily. His master rolls his eyes in disgust. Blossom can finally see him well for the first time, and she doesn't know if she's ever seen anyone so handsome in her life. Mortal or immortal.
"Where…am I?"
He raises a brow at her hesitant tone and says, with some authority and much pretentiousness.
"You're in the Underworld."
—
tbc
end notes: i suck, this sucks. i think you get the point. basically the thought of brick as hades and blossom as persephone prompted this so.
