"This usually works," Loki said, confused, staring at where his pointy glow stick met my Arc Reactor.

"Well, performance issues, not uncommon. One out of five..." I began, and then Loki grabbed my throat. "Woah, wait, do your eyes normally look so much like a neon blue highlighter or...?"

Loki halted throwing me across the room. "There's nothing wrong with my eyes if that's what you're implying."

Where had I seen a colour just like that before? Oh of course, Agent Hawkeye. "You're under mind control, aren't you?"

Loki loosened his grip a bit, and I managed to free myself before I wacked Loki very hard, shattering my glass on his head. Loki was now on the floor, seemingly unconscious. Pepper was not going to be happy with the mess we'd caused in her new tower (well 12% her tower anyway).

I rolled Loki over with my foot. Yup, he was definitely out cold. Maybe I should put him in a cell in case he wakes up and tries to murder me...

I put him in the most secure spot in the tower I could find, locked the door, and asked JARVIS to notify me if he wakes up. Now I just had to stop a portal from opening, and probably notify the team now that I thought of it. Fury's a pain in the ass when he isn't the person with the most information.

But by the time I arrived on the roof, the portal had already begun opening, and the Chitauri started flying through.

*cue the fight scene*

A very giant Chitauri came next.

"Sir, Loki has woken up," JARVIS told me.

"Damn, already? Uh, okay, gimme a sec," I said as the suit took me to the room where the god was being held.

"So, you still want to enslave the planet or has my awesomeness converted you to the good side?" I asked once I had reached Loki's cell, and he walked over to the front. "Oh, good, your eyes are green."

Loki didn't say anything.

"How do we close the portal?" I asked.

Loki still remained silent. Seriously, was the guy mute or deaf or something now that he wasn't under mind control? Maybe he didn't speak English?

But then after a while he finally said, "I still have to give the Tesseract to Thanos, mind control or not."

"Thanos? Who's that? Doesn't matter, we'll get rid of him," I promised as green eyes looked up with disbelief.

"You truly believe that you, a human mortal, could have any effect on the Mad Titan? I thought you were meant to be Midgard's smartest. There truly is no hope for this realm, is there?"

"Oh yeah and what would you do if you were in control of Midgard, Smarty Pants, huh?"

"First of all, why does the intelligence of pants matter in the slightest? Second of all, I would be an excellent ruler. Midgard currently has very poor rulers, ignoring the health and wellbeing of pretty much everyone, and has very insufficient warriors and armies, and the technology here is inferior to most places, so I would obviously fix that."

"That's... Well, actually not a bad idea, but it's unlikely people will just let you take over a city, let alone the entire world."

"Yes, well, you could help me. The mortals trust you and its other, what did you call yourselves again? Besides you agreed I made a good point and would fix the absolute disgrace of a realm Midgard is."

"And why exactly would I do that? My life is fairly alright at the moment, well ignoring the aliens attacking my home."

"Because you could rule by my side as king."

My eyebrows rose very quickly and my cheeks were mostly definitely not going red. "Was that a marriage proposal, or?"

"It can be if you want it to be," Loki shrugged casually.

"But we just met and this is not a bloody Disney movie."

"Isn't it?"

A window smashed as someone in a red suit jumped into the room.

"This most certainly is a Disney movie. Well, not a movie, more of a fanfiction. Thanks, authors, for including me!" Red Suit Guy said as he waved towards the sky. "But honestly, I don't know how we haven't been caught by the TVA yet, this is getting pretty off track from the 'Sacred Timeline'."

"Who the hell are you?!" I yelled.

"Just your friendly neighbourhood Deadpool."

"Are all mortals this odd?" Loki asked.

"No, just me, also I'm kind of not a mortal. Anyway, I believe I have played my part in this fourth wall break perfectly." And just like that, the figure jumped out the window again.

What on Earth just happened? Did Loki drug me? Am I drugged?

"You still haven't answered my question, Anthony," Loki said.

Damn, normally I don't like people calling me Anthony, but the way Loki said it was... kinda hot. No, now I'm blushing again-

"What question?" I asked, trying to sound normal and not turned on by this guy.

"Will you join me and rule with me? I thought it was obvious."

"Uh," I thought about it. "Um, sure?"

"You sound wonderfully enthusiastic about this" Loki said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry, YES PLEASE I WANT TO MARRY YOU."

Whoops, now that was a little too enthusiastic. Aaaa, help, didn't I just want this guy dead a little while ago?

"I said rule, not marriage, although both options are very enticing," Loki said with a smirk.

Bloody hell, why are my cheeks the same colour as my suit? THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE POSSIBLE!

"Okay, well anyway, um, to actually rule we- you- we? Need to take over the world, remember?"

"Yes that shouldn't be an issue now, you just get the other fighters here and they can join us. If not willingly, I have, as you so wonderfully put it, my 'pointy glow stick'."

"I wasn't aware I said that part out loud," I said. "Right, JARVIS, call the Avengers here. Say I've got Loki and need all back up to stop the invasion."

"Of course, sir. They are on their way," JARVIS replied.

"So are we engaged or just going to rule together? You're kind of confusing," I asked.

"That's entirely up to you, Anthony," Loki said.

Hhhh, how is he so seductive without any effort?

Fuck it, I'm too gay for this-

"Uhhhh, can we get engaged?"

"I believe I just told you we could."

"Right, so do we need a ring or anything, or...?"

"On Asgard we don't exchange rings until the wedding ceremony. Instead, for engagement, we must give each other swords that belonged to our ancestors. But, I imagine, you don't just happen to know where one of your ancestor's swords are living. And I only just found out about my true heritage, so I don't know where any swords would be from them either. It's a pity, but I suppose we aren't exactly following tradition anyway, I mean you didn't even court me. But it's fine, I've been courted many times in my life before, I just thought, since I'm actually getting married this time..."

"Hey, man, we can get swords if you want swords! And I can still court you until we get married, okay? We'll do whatever you wanna do," I promised. "So, any other wedding traditions I should know about?"

"We should get married on a Friday. That is my mother's day, and she is the Goddess of Marriage."

"Okay cool, we'll do that."

And then at that moment, the other Avengers arrived.

"Oh good, you already have him contained," Nat said.

I looked confused for a second before I realised, oh yeah, Loki is still in his cell. How did I forget that? Wait, what if when he gets out he doesn't want to marry me anymore, he just wanted an escape? Well, that was okay, I didn't want to marry him that much anyway, right? We'll just recapture him, and, yeah...

"Yep," I said, hopefully after not too long of a pause.

"We need his Scepter to close the portal," Nat explained.

"Oh right," I pick up the pointy glow stick and look at Loki who just looks back at me. "Um, sorry."

And then I poke Nat with the Scepter and her eyes turn blue, and then do the same to the other Avengers before they can stop me.

"Sorry, I just wanted you to listen. Okay, so first, I'm gonna go close the portal, and then we can talk about Loki's plans."

"Hi! I'm a time jump because authors can't be bothered writing stuff," Deadpool appeared out of nowhere. "So Tony closes the portal and kills the Chitauri, and that brings us to here." and then Deadpool died dramatically.

"Okay so me and Loki are going to get married and rule Earth together, and you guys can help as advisors if you want to, you just can't... stop us. But honestly Loki would make a pretty great king, so there'll be no reason to stop us, you know? Unless you just wanna be a dick. Anyway, so yeah, if you agree to not stop us I'll take you off the mind control."

"Just because you have magic doesn't mean you can win the world, the Earth will always have good people there to defend it from people like you. Freedom is important. You can't take away people's right to choose their leader," Steve said righteously.

"Well that's disappointing to hear, Captain," Loki said.

"How about you, Widow? Surely you can see it's the smarter choice," I said.

"The idea definitely has its appeals," Nat said, walking over to join Tony and Loki.

"Well if Nat's there, that's me in too, she makes the best sandwiches," Clint said, walking towards the group with a shrug.

"Brother, do you truly believe this is in Midgard's best interest?" Thor asked.

"Of course," Loki answered.

"Then I support you and offer Asgard's help to keep Midgard safe, if this is a trick however, you shall not escape the wrath of Mjolnir," Thor said, smiling at his beloved hammer.

"Puny god," Hulk said, rolling his eyes, and then he walked off.

"Okay, we'll wait until Banner's back for his answer," I said.

Hulk sat in front of the fridge and started eating.

"Come on, Spangles, we're just waiting for you now, surely you see the appeal in having a say in this world? Join us and you can help in making the decisions of Earth! You are wasting any chances you have for what, exactly?"

Steve glared at me. "Okay, fine."

Huh that was easier than expected, yay for world take over!

"Let's go take over the world!" I said excitedly as Loki rolled his eyes at me.